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CONTENTS
Communication is
agreement by means of
understanding!
then we have the chance, in the future, to improve our results where human relations are concerned through more effective communication
inside and outside the company.
A novice, who had just entered the monastery, asked the abbot: Is it
permitted to smoke during prayers?The abbot was rather surprised at
this question and naturally answered: Of course not, its strictly forbidden. That evening, the novice went to the chapel for prayers with
the other monks. What do you think he saw? There was an old monk
deep in prayer, smoking his pipe. The novice was beside himself. He
could hardly wait for the end of prayers to accost the old monk:Brother, how is it that you smoke during prayers? The abbot has definitely
prohibited it. Did you ask him? Well, yes, of course. How
strange, retorted the old monk, I also asked him, and he gave me permission. Quite indignant about this injustice, the novice was about to
run to the abbot, but the old monk held him back. Tell me, what exactly was the question you asked the abbot? I asked him whether I
might smoke during prayers. Oh, I see. I asked him whether I might
pray while smoking.
What can we learn from this story?
I can say a thing in two ways; to make a good impression or to make a
bad impression.
And indeed there are not just two ways, but many different ways of saying something. Have you ever considered in how many ways we can
give somebody else new ideas, new impressions? We can speak in a
loud or a soft voice, we can speak slowly or quickly. We can converse,
contend, ask questions.We can flatter, intimidate, menace, request, beg.
We can give examples, mention rumours, awaken hopes etc.
We can paint the devil on the wall, build castles in the air
This gives rise to the first question we have to ask ourselves: What do
we want to achieve in the discussion, what is our objective? For instance, would we wish to draw ourselves and a customer closer together or to increase the distance between us? Put visually, the question
looks like this:
my visions
their visions
Should the two associates come closer to one another or move farther
apart? Do we want to move to the left or to the right? Are we ready to
risk an argument with our partners? But
if they dont think we are doing our best, or if things dont turn out
the way they expected;
if they dont understand that everything takes time;
if they think they can work off their bad temper on us;
if they imagine we are dependent on them;
then we have to make them understand that they are on the wrong
track fully aware of the risk that they will not be pleased to hear this.
In fact, we can be certain that they will not thank us for the information
and that they are even less likely to pat us on the back or embrace us
on account of it.
This is indeed the problem! There is absolutely no sense in blatantly
agreeing with our partners in all circumstances, whether justified or
not. There is no sense in sacrificing the interests of our own firm to curry favour with the customers.Taking the customers side in order to win
their sympathy is neither sensible nor will it, in the long run, gain respect. How can customers really trust business associates who are so
ready to give up their own point of view? But if the situation is reversed, there is just as little sense in stubbornly thrusting the fact that
we are right under the customers nose, so that they resent our wellmeaning correction. Skilful negotiation technique, of course, lies between these two extremes.
The most high-powered discussion technique will not lead to the desired result (even, perhaps, may make it impossible) unless the non-verbal position of the discussion partners in relation to each other is taken into account properly and included in what is going on.
This applies, of course, not only to the discussion itself, but also to the
preparation for it. Hence the universal truth:
90% of success is preparation.
90% of success
is preparation.
Fight:
victors and vanquished
Game:
winner and loser
Business discussion:
partners with a decision
reached together
To b): Also, does the goal I want to reach include maintaining the trust
that the other places in me? Or do I, as a professional con artist, have
to do justice to my image?
Blackmail and
threats
Objective discussion
and evaluation
Begging and
pleading
Bribery
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