Parshas Acharei Mos – Kedoshim
May 6, 2006
8 Iyar 5766
T
To Counterbalance Love
Rabbi Eli Baruch Shulman
he Talmud (Yevamos 62a)
tells us that Rabbi Akiva’s
students died because they did
not treat each other with kavod
[respect]. We mourn their
deaths during sefiras haOmer
each year. Jewish history, unfor-
tunately, has known many other
tragedies; why do we continue
to remember this one?
The answer emerges from an
analysis of Rabbi Akiva’s
famous dictum, “Love your
friend as yourself – this is a
major rule in the Torah,” and
its relation to his students’
actions. If Rabbi Akiva put this
concept of ahavas yisrael, love
of fellow Jews, at the center of
his philosophy, how is it possi-
ble that all of his own students
neglected it?
The Talmud (Yevamos 62a)
instructs men to “love their
I
T abl e Torah
n Parshas Kedoshim, the command-
Daniel Solomon
ment to revere one’s parents is placed
next to the idea that Hashem is holy
(Shemos 19:2-3). Why does the Torah
equate revering one’s parents to the holi-
ness of Hashem by juxtaposing these two
ideas in the Torah?
Based on the Talmud on Kiddushin 30b,
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Volume 20, Number 26
Contemporary
Halacha
Communal
wives as much as themselves, logically synonymous with
Leadership
and respect them more than nefesh, which means ‘soul’ or
P
themselves.” Why must love be ‘self ’. Kavod means respect
balanced by respect; isn’t mar- because we respect someone Rabbi Mordechai Wecker
whom we perceive as having arshas Shemos deals
Love must be some self-distinguishing quality with the important and
that sets them apart. Kavod is relevant issue of commu-
tempered the acknowledgement and def- nal leadership. Rav Moshe
with kavod; erence that we offer to individu-
ality, to individual uniqueness,
Feinstein, of blessed mem-
we must and to accomplishment. We ory, addressed the issue of
value our don’t respect someone for being Moshe’s reticence to accept
the same as everyone else, but Hashem’s mission to free
differences for being his own self, for being the Jewish People from
as much as different in a way that we value. Egypt. It took much per-
our The difference between love suasion over many days at
and respect is that love is based the burning bush before
similarities. on the feeling that we are really Moshe accepted his assign-
one. People marry because they ment as the leader of the
riage all about love, and doesn’t find in their partner a kindred Jewish Nation. Rav Moshe
love automatically imply spirit. People love their children noted that the Talmud
respect? because they see them as exten-
related that Rabbi Zeira
R. Zerachyahu haLevi explains sions of themselves. We love
undertook one hundred
that the word kavod is etymo- our fellow Jews because we feel
fasts in prayer so that
Hashem should spare the
continued on page 3
The Holiness of Parents life of his colleague, Rabbi
the Ba’al Haturim says that the honor a expending energy in this transient life for a
continued on page 2
person shows his parents should be equal greater connection to Hashem. Our par-
to the reverence that he shows his creator. ents being the main conduits through
Rav Moshe Alshich further elucidates on which we may reach a greater level of holi-
the concept. The central goal achieved by ness, spirituality, and devotion to Hashem
achieving holiness is the attainment of a in this world, it is thus fitting for the Torah
place in the World to Come. However, the to equate revering one’s parents to the
only way to reach the World to Come is by holiness of Hashem.
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 Communal Leadership

T
A Holy Nation Elazar. Rabbi Zeira sought he was capable of reaching,
continued from page 1

to ensure that Rabbi Elazar as he sacrificed his own

he Ramban makes a also to offer general rules would be able to continue in potential in order to be an
Noah Cheses

his role of communal lead- effective leader. Rabbi

well-known observa- such as “You shall do that
ership, and thus, the burden Twersky concluded that this
tion on the opening which is right and good would not fall upon him. is one aspect of the dialectic
words of Parshat (Devarim 6:18).” The lat- Rav Moshe posited that a of the commandment of
Kedoshim: “You shall be ter requires a Jew to go tension between one’s per- “loving one’s fellow human
holy, for I, the Lord your beyond the strict require- sonal spiritual development being,” as sometimes it
G-d, am holy.” The ments of the law and to and the pressing needs of entails putting one’s own
the community is clearly quest for spiritual growth
Torah, after warning us do right and good in demonstrated in these situa- on hold in order to reach
about specific forbidden every circumstance. Both tions. Moshe was “inviting” out to others.
activities—such as forbid- methods employed by the God to find someone else This factor and motivation
den foods and immorality, Torah contribute to the to take the mantle of lead- was critical to the success of
presents us with a general criterion of living a mean- ership so that he would be Moshe in his role as leader
free to pursue his own spir- of the Jewish people.
command to “be holy.” ingful Jewish life. One is
itual quests. Only when no Moshe realized that com-
T h e s e obligated other suitable candidate can munal leadership is another
w o r d s , to fulfill be found, is one duty- form of service to Hashem
explains the One is specific bound to put aside one’s and also, that as a leader, he
Ramban, obligated to actions at own needs for those of the was required to relinquish
enjoin us to fulfill specific c e r t a i n community at large. Once some of his own spiritual
Moshe was apprised that pursuits. He realized that it
practice actions at t i m e s this was indeed the case, he was his privilege to fill a
moderation
certain times w h i l e humbly and willingly cast position thrust upon him by
in the mat- simultane- himself into the public
ters which
while uosly cul- arena with complete and
God.
Next week, we will continue
are permit- simultaneuosly tivating heartfelt dedication to his to address this idea of com-
ted, such as cultivating general
sacred tasks. munal leadership by exam-
kosher food general virtues virtues or
Rabbi Dr. Isadore Twersky ining Rabbi Dr. Joseph B.
addressed similar issues as Soloveitchik’s perspective
and relations or ethics. ethics. well. The Talmud com- on Jewish leadership. Next
between a T h i s ments that Shmuel ha- week’s article will focus on
husband and m e a n s Kattan would have merited the idea of the necessary
wife. that the Torah is con- a personal and ongoing rela- humility of a leader, as well
tionship with God, but was as on other important traits
The Ramban broadens his cerned not only with what not granted one because his of a Jewish communal
commentary by elucidat- we do but also with the contemporaries were not leader.
ing the manner in which kind of person that we deserving of this degree of
the Torah presents moral become; we are measured spirituality. Rabbi Dr. Rabbi Mordechai Wecker is the
instructions. The way of not only by our behavior Twersky noted that there is Judaic Studies principal at the
a Chassidic tradition that
the Torah is to impart but by our character traits Maimonides School in Brookline,
explains that Shmuel ha-
specific commandments as well. Kattan was not denied this Massachusetts.
such as theft, robbery, and Rabbi Jonathan Sacks privilege because others
honesty in business, and understands the Ramban’s were unworthy, but rather,
he never rose to the heights
continued on page 3

EINAYIM L’TORAH • 2
 A Holy
vhv, Nation
ohn,
commentary to impart the idea that but law is not considered to be the
learned from a detailed code of
continued from page 2

in Judaism the law itself points to
something beyond the law. One can
keep the laws of Kashrut and be
faithful in the laws of marriage but
normative law. There are issues of
whole of Judaism. But, the Torah
immense religious significance that
teaches us that within the frame-
lie beyond the boarders of exacting
work of Halacha a Jew is charged
legislation. These qualities need to
continued from page 1

with the mission “to be holy,” to

still be a glutton or a sensualist. be absorbed through the conduit of
undertake an extensive process of
Such a person would be termed a human experience and example.
character formation and moral
“Naval B’Reshut HaTorah.” The Rabbi Akiva, for example used to
Torah, with the words “You shall growth, and to measure ourselves
follow R. Yehoshua wherever he
be holy,” demands that we develop not only by what we doing but by
went in order to see how he
gentleness, self-restraint, modera- the kind of person that we are
behaved (Berachot 62a).
tion, and emotional sensitivity.It is undeniable that the Halacha becoming.
Such character traits cannot be sets the parameters of a Jewish life, Shabbat Shalom
To Counterbalance Love continued from page 1

kinship with people who share our own his-
tory and destiny.
Respect, on the other hand, is based on the
dignity of difference. I respect someone
because I recognize that he is different than
me, and I consider that difference valuable.
Love without respect can be overbearing,
even tyrannical. One can see that with chil-
dren. A parent can love his children – and
yet ruin them by constantly trying to make
them more like him or her. This is even
truer with a spouse. Marriage is such a
close human relationship because it is based
on love – on finding in each other kindred
spirits. Therefore, it is especially important
for that love to be balanced by respect, by
kavod – by recognition that one’s partner is
a different person. He or she need not like
the same books or food that I do, nor have
the same opinion. Because I love them, I
may be driven to make them more like me,
but that is destructive; that is the tyranny of
love. Love must be tempered with kavod;
we must value our differences as much as
our similarities.
This is where Rabbi Akiva’s students went
wrong. They did not neglect their rebbe’s
teaching of loving each other as themselves.
Rather, they took this rule too far. Because
they put so much emphasis on love, they
failed to balance it with kavod. They loved
each other, but they didn’t respect each
other’s individuality and differences.
In contrast, our failing – the failing that led
to the destruction of the Beis haMikdash
and its continued desolation – is sinas chi-
nam, unwarranted hatred. This is why we
mourn for Rabbi Akiva’s students. With
them, we lost a reservoir of ahavas yisrael,
love of fellow Jews, which might have saved
the Jewish people.
A generation after the churban – after that
eruption of civil strife and sinas chinam
that destroyed everything – a group of
scholars arose, a potent force within the
people, who adopted as their motto the car-
dinal principle of Rabbi Akiva, the principle
of ahavas yisrael. They represented so
much potential and promise. But they went
too far. They excelled at loving others as
themselves – but not at respecting them
more than themselves. Our mourning is for
that loss.

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PARSHAS ACHAREI MOS – KEDOSHIM •3
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Ephraim Meth
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