Harlot encounters can be with brazen strumpets or haughty courtesans, thus making it difficult for the

party to distinguish each encounter for what it is. (In fact, the encounter could be with a dancer only
prostituting herself as it pleases her, an elderly madam, or even a pimp.) In addition to the offering of
the usual fare, the harlot is 30% likely to know valuable information, 15% likely to make something up
in order to gain a reward, and 20% likely to be, or work with, a thief. You may find it useful to use the
sub-table below to see which sort of harlot encounter takes place:
01-10 Slovenly trull

76-85 Expensive doxy

11-25 Brazen strumpet

86-90 Haughty courtesan

26-35 Cheap trollop

91-92 Aged madam

36-50 Typical streetwalker

93-94 Wealthy procuress

51-65 Saucy tart

95-98 Sly pimp

66-75 Wanton wench

99-00 Rich panderer

An expensive doxy will resemble a gentlewoman, a haughty courtesan a noblewoman, the other harlots
might be mistaken for goodwives, and so forth.
Unfortunately, Gygax did not explain why youd never meet a haughty strumpet or a brazen
courtesan. However, he did offer valuable advice on other urban street characters: Drunk encounters
are typically with 1-4 tipsy revelers or wine-sodden bums, and 40 percent of the time when you meet a
gentleman hell be a foppish dandy with 1-4 sycophants.
Table III: Minor Malevolent Effects
Artifacts and relics are the most powerful type of magic items in D&D, offering god-like
abilities. In 3.5E, you pretty much just get the god-like abilities. But Gygax was obsessed with checks
and balances, and like a Madison of magic items, created a complex, six-part system for artifact/relic
powers, including minor and major benign powers; minor and major malevolent effects; prime powers;
and side effects. Best of all, you selected or randomly generated such powers yourself. The following is
the selection of minor malevolent effects:
A. Acne on possessors face
B. Blindness for 1-4 rounds when first used against an enemy
C. Body odor noticeable at 10 distance
D. Deafness for 1-4 turns when first used against an enemy
E. Gems or jewelry found never increase in value
F. Holy water within 10 of item becomes polluted
G. Lose 1-4 points of charisma for 1-4 days when major power used

H. Possessor loses interest in sex

I. Possessor has satyriasis
J. Possessors hair turns white
K. Saving throws vs. magic are at -1
L. Saving throws vs. poison are at -2
M. Sense of smell lost for 2-8 hours when first used against an enemy
N. Small fires (torches, et al.) extinguished when major power used
O. Small items of wood rot from possessors touch (any item up to normal door size, 1-7 days time)
P. Touch of possessor kills green plants
Q. User causes hostility toward himself in all mammals within 6
R. User must eat and drink 6 times the normal amount due to the items drain upon him or her
S. Users sex changes
T. Wart appears on possessors nose
U. Weight gain of 10-40 pounds
V. Weight loss of 5-30 pounds
W. Yearning for item forces possessor to never be away from it for more than 1 day if at all possible
X. Yelling becomes necessary to invoke spells with verbal components
Wand of Wonder effects table
D&Ds random magic item system is well-known, part of building any treasure horde for the
game. But there are all sorts of fun little sub-tables within the treasure lists. A great one came with a
great itemthe Wand of Wonder, which set off a random magical effect every time it was used.
Gygaxs suggestions for a standard Wand of Wonder:
01-10 slow creature pointed at for 1 turn
11-18 deludes wielder for 1 round into believing the wand functions as indicated by a second die roll
19-25 gust of wind, double force of spell
26-30 stinking cloud at 3 range
31-33 heavy rain falls for 1 round in 6 radius of wand wielder
34-36 summon rhino (1-25), elephant (26-50) or mouse (51-00)
37-46 lightning bolt (7 X ) as wand
47-49 stream of 600 large butterflies pour [sic] forth and flutter around for 2 rounds, blinding everyone
(including wielder)
50-53 enlarge target if in 6 of wand

54-58 darkness in a 3 diameter hemisphere at 3 center distance from wand

59-62 grass grows in area of 16 square before wand, or grass existing there grows to 10 times normal
size
63-65 vanish any non-living object of up to 1,000 pounds mass and up to 30 cubic feet in size (object
is ethereal)
66-69 diminish wand wielder to 1/12 height
70-79 fireball as wand
80-84 invisibility covers wand wielder
85-87 leaves grow from target if in 6 of wand
88-90 10-40 gems of 1 g.p. base value shoot forth in a 3 long stream, each causing 1 h.p. of damage
to any creature in pathroll 5d4 for number of hits
91-97 shimmering colors dance and play over a 4 X 3 area in front of wandcreatures therein
blinded for 1-6 rounds
98-00 flesh to stone (or reverse if target is stone) if target is within 6
Potion Miscibility Table
Anybody can invent a list of magical potions and a table for randomly inserting them into a
treasure horde. Only Gygax would also write up a table about what happens if you drink two different
potions at the same time, and teach kids the word miscible to boot:
Dice Score
01

Result
EXPLOSION! Internal damage is 6-60 h.p., those within a 5
radius take 1-10 h.p. if mixed externally, all in a 10 radius take

424 hit points, no save.

02-03

Lethal poison results, and imbiber is dead; if externally mixed, a

poison gas cloud of 10 diameter results, and all within it must
save versus poison or die.

04-08

Mild poison which causes nausea and loss of 1 point each of

strength and dexterity for 5-20 rounds, no saving throw possible;
one potion is cancelled, the other is at half strength and duration.
(Use random determination for which is cancelled and which is at

half efficiency.)
09-15

Immiscible. Both potions totally destroyed, as one cancelled the

other.

16-25

Immiscible. One potion cancelled, but the other remains normal

(random selection).

26-35

Immiscible result which causes both potions to be at half normal

efficacy when consumed.

36-90

Miscible. Potions work normally unless their effects are

contradictory, e.g. diminution and growth, which will simply
cancel each other.

91-99

Compatible result which causes one potion (randomly determined)

to have 150% normal efficacy. (You must determine if both effect
and duration are permissible, or if only the duration should be
extended.)

00

DISCOVERY! The admixture of the two potions has caused a

special formula which will cause one of the two potions only to
function, but its effects will be permanent upon the imbiber. (Note
that some harmful side effects could well result from this)

Morals table
Gygax provided a way to easily create detailed Non-Player Characters for players to interact
with. By easily, he meant you would roll on 19 different characteristic tables. Of the Traits Tables,
the one for Morals may be the most interesting, with its weird recalibration against immorality. 1E was
heavily biased toward good deeds, which is probably narratively sound and appealed to me as an
innocent teenager; but now this just makes me scratch my head:

Morals (d12)
1. aesthetic
2. virtuous
3. normal
4. normal
5. lusty
6. lusty
7. lustful
8. immoral
9. amoral
10. perverted*
11. sadistic*
12. depraved*
*Roll again; if perverted, sadistic, or depraved is again indicated, the character is that; otherwise, the
second roll tells the true morals, and the first roll is ignored in favor of the second.
Apparently, no NPC was ever perverted and sadistic, or aesthetic and amoral.
Types of Insanity table
The insanity table is another well-remembered classic, but worth including here for its
deliberately bizarro use of retro-Freudian terminology:
Types of Insanity
1. dipsomania*

11. mania

2. kleptomania*

12. lunacy

3. schizoid*

13. paranoia

4. pathological liar*

14. manic-depressive

5. monomania

15. hallucinatory insanity

6. dementia praecox

16. sado-masochism

7. melancholia

17. homicidal mania

8. megalomania

18. hebephrenia

9. delusional insanity

19. suicidal mania

10. schizophrenia

20. catatonia

[Asterisks denoted insanities susceptible to the games psionic mental attacksan interesting artifact of
the 1970s interest in all things ESP and telekinetic.]
Dr. Gygax didnt just provide this list, but detailed diagnoses, making this a kind of
DMG/DSM. Lunacy, for example, was a werewolfism-type disease that caused mania during the
full Moon, and during the new Moon only a mindset perhaps a bit suspicious and irascible. The idea
of a character becoming an alcoholic or S&M lifestyler was my first indication that D&D could be as
deeply weird as I hoped and needed it to be.
Saving Throw Matrix for Magical and Non-Magical Items
The saving throwa last-ditch miracle roll of the dice to save a character from near-certain
doomis a core D&D concept, one of the things that makes it inherently magical and that appealed
deeply to my love of randomness. Saving throws for player characters are well-known and still a
standard part of the game. Lesser known are the saving throws for inanimate objects. Gygaxs matrix
juxtaposed exotic substances with exciting events in a way that turned a box of numbers into a sort of
reverse-engineered adventure. Just looking at the table still gives me strange ideas. Ill leave out the
strings of numbers and simply provide the categories:
Attack Forms:
Acid
Crushing blow
Normal blow
Disintegrate
Fall
Fireball
Magical fire
Normal fire
Frost
Lightning
Electricity
Item Descriptions:

Bone or Ivory
Ceramic
Cloth
Crystal or Vial
Glass
Leather or Book
Liquid*
Metal, hard
Metal, soft or Jewelry**
Mirror***
Parchment or Paper
Stone, small or Gem
Wood or Rope, thin
Wood or Rope, thick
*Potions, magical oils, poisons, acids while container remains intact.
**Includes pearls of any sort.
***Silvered glass. Treat silver mirror as Metal, soft, steel as Metal, hard.
Just trying to rationalize the difference between Fireball and Magical fire, or Lightning
and Electricity, forced a mythological innovation. And such ideas as ivory facing a lightning bolt or a
basin of evanescent potion being touched with a disintegration spell drew darkly dramatic pictures in
my mind.
Grappling Table
The Grappling Table did not have as funny a name as the Pummeling Table, but it had better
ultra-detailed outcomes of messy hand-to-hand combat. (Especially with the slash-mark separation that
made it look like some Hemingway-esque form of poetic scansion.) To wit (minus the H.P. or Special
Damage Scored stats):
Adjusted Dice Score

Result

under 21

waist clinch, opponent may counter

21-40

arm lock/ /forearm/elbow smash

41-55

hand/finger lock/ /bite

56-70

bear hug/trip

71-85

headlock/ /flip or throw

86-95

strangle hold/ /head butt

Over 95

kick/knee/gouge

If youre wondering, or are not a pro wrestler, a higher percentage hold always beats a lower form
a hand/finger lock breaks an arm lock, and so forth.
Monks Open Hand Melee table
The monk character class is probably the most overpowered in the overpowered 3E game,
essentially becoming invulnerable while able to kill everything else with a single blow. Arguably, the
worlds of Jet Li and Arnold Schwarzenegger were never meant to collide. But it must be admitted that
in 1E, the monk was even more overpowered, with even a novice character capable of killing with any
blow. The one restraint on this power was that it worked only on opponents of man-sizeor smaller.
Realizing that had to be defined in a game world with a high prevalence of various stages of gigantism,
Gygax pegged it as a maximum height of 6 feet 6 inches and a maximum weight of 300 pounds. (Thus
rendering many of todays pro athletes immune to death blows.) But another tenet of D&D is that
abilities increase with experience; thus, the monk should be able to instantly off larger opponents as his
or her skills increase. Ever the systematizer, Gygax proposed the following: For each level above the
1st, the monk will gain additional stunning/killing ability at the rate of 2 inches of height and 50 pounds
of opponent weight per level of experience gained. He then illustrated this with the Monks Open
Hand Melee table, a monument of Lombroso-esque pseudo-scientific insanity:
Monks Level Opponent Maximum Height

Opponent Maximum Weight

2nd

68

350#

3rd

610

400#

4th

450#

5th

72

500#

6th

74

550#

7th

76

600#

8th

78

650#

9th

710

700#

10th

750#

11th

82

800#

12th

84

850#

13th

86

900#

14th

88

950#

15th

810

1,000#

16th

1,050#

17th

92

1,100#

Did Gygax really expect you to know the height of every bugbear you stick into the game to a
precision of 2 inches? Do you count the loincloth during the weigh-in? Does anything about this ability
or system make a lick of sense? Does it belong in this column as it doesnt involve dice rolls? Well, this
shows D&D at its most laughable. Superficially, it shows how over-mechanized it can become. On a
deeper level, its sheer absurdity shouldve indicated to Gygax that the system itself was stupid and a
different solution should have been sought, such as breaking down the ability, rather than the opponent,
into rationally phased steps. For me, its one of those amusing bits of D&D-iana that I would pass over
with a laugh and never use. Another brilliance of the game is that I was allowedindeed, encouraged
to do just that. Gygaxs foremost rule was that there are no rules; it was your game, not his, and you
could keep or discard whatever you liked. In this case, he provided an excellent incentive for the latter.
Effective Location of Henchman table
Lets say you need a henchman. (Usually associated with Batman villain cannon fodder, this
term meant anybodys cannon fodder in D&D.) Perhaps you wish to try a media blitz to find one.
Unfortunately, Craigslist is right out. You thus turn to the Effective Location of Henchman table.
Method

Cost

Effectiveness

POSTING NOTICES IN PUBLIC

50 g.p.

10%-40%

HIRING A CRIER

10 g.p.

1%-10%

HIRING AGENTS TO SEEK PROSPECTS

300 g.p.

20%-50%

FREQUENTING INNS AND TAVERNS

special

special

Whats special about frequenting inns and taverns? Gygax offered a complex answer, but I
would suggest that getting majorly wasted would have special results.
I was always of the mind that any DM who left something as story-affecting as henchman
appearances up to pure chance was a lazy ass. But I always appreciated how just about every facet of
D&D can come down to a dice roll if you wish. God can play whatever games he wants; DMs
definitely play dice with their universes.
Values of Other Rare Commodities table (furs)

Sometimes you just need to know how much a muskrat pelt jacket cuff would be worth. Dont
you?
Type

Pelt

Trimming

Cape or Jacket

Coat

beaver

2 g.p. 20 g.p.

200 g.p.

400 g.p.

ermine

4 g.p. 120 g.p.

3,600 g.p.

7,200 g.p.

fox

3 g.p. 30 g.p.

300 g.p.

600 g.p.

marten

4 g.p. 40 g.p.

400 g.p.

800 g.p.

mink

3 g.p. 90 g.p.

2,700 g.p.

5,400 g.p.

muskrat

1 g.p. 10 g.p.

100 g.p.

200 g.p.

sable

5 g.p. 150 g.p.

4,500 g.p.

9,000 g.p.

seal

5 g.p. 25 g.p.

125 g.p.

250 g.p.

Parasitic Infestation Table

While the aforementioned Disease (Or Disorder) Table of Galen, er, Gygax, is wellremembered, less so is the great Parasitic Infestation Table. It is not so amusing in itself as in its
conception. Gygax was a relentless hardcore realist in his own way. Todays D&D is made for the
everybody-goes-to-college era, a career-path game that shoots you rapidly toward 20th level so you can
start fighting dracoliches with one arm tied behind your back. Gygax D&D made you roll once a month
to see if you got ringworm. And if you were the typical dirty barbarian, you had about a straight-up 15
percent chance. A 1E hero might be fighting with one hand behind his backto scratch something.
Random Book Generator for 14,000-Volume Library
Any fool could have just systematized fantasy fiction and had a fun enough productindeed,
thats all most alternative RPG systems amount to. But Gygax et al. created a system that was itself
creative, that spawned as much as it imitated. Random dice rolls were one of the prime sparks of
inspiration. Granted, dice are as old as games themselves, but D&D didnt just take them at face value
or use them to move a pawn; it employed them, in very odd varieties, to create an entire probabilistic
universe. D&D doesnt tell you what an adventure is; it tells you what it might be.
When I speak of inspiration, obviously the ones being inspired are other players. Gygaxs
wacky tables inspired thousands of DMs for better, for worse, and most usually for both. I was
certainly among them. Ive even used D&D dice to determine real life; during my stint as an art critic, I
used a d20 to choose exhibits to go see as a routine-breaker. But in-game, randomness and the exotic
matrixed in my mind in the form of a giant imaginary library from which I could pluck randomly
generated tomes, a fantasy born of inclination, early exposure to The Name of the Rose, and the
hyperliteracy that plunged me nose-deep into D&D in the first place.

D&D inspired me to have such dreams, and skilled me in executing them. One of the privileges,
or dangers, of DM-ing is being able to project, or inflict, ones fantasies on other people; so I created a
random book generator for a 14,000-volume library I installed in a castle in the first epic-length
campaign I wrote. Ive now played that segment of the game through with three different people (it is a
single-player campaign), only one of whom actually plucked books from the library shelves, as I recall,
and then only perhaps a half-dozen tomes. I, on the other hand, have probably spent eight or 10 hours
enjoying the random book generator by myself, just me and my dice bag. Its not the greatest thing I
ever made; indeed, its a rather depersonalized, high/generic-adventure device in a fairly imitative
game designed by someone still learning the ropes (or tentacles). But in substance and style,
employment and enjoyment, I think it says as much about D&D as Gygaxs 1E originalities do, so I
offer it here for edifying comparisonand, in the communal DIY punk-as-fuck spirit of D&D, for
incorporation into your game, if your wrist be strong enough to roll it up:
*90% of volumes bear no title on spine
*20% in language reader doesnt know (-1% modification for every language reader knows)
Subjects:
1-9

History

10-19 Religion
20-29 Art
30-39 Mathematics
40-49 Linguistics
50-59 Science
60-69 Geography
70-79 Literature
80-89 Religion
90-99 Arcana
00

Special

[The library was designed with the possibility of offering clues to the plot of my game, in which
religion was significant; hence, the weighting toward that subject.]
History
1-49

Evidence of the Alignment Wars

50-70 Artons Guide to Greyhawk

71-00 Rise of the Bandit Kingdoms

The latter details Tyrol and Alciercs attack on his minions.

Religion
1-49

Blinding Light Prayer Book

50-70 Powers of the Death Goddess

71-00 The Martyrdom of St. Lacroix
The second tome gives much information on Kali, the goddess Tyrol worshipped to achieve his present
state.
Lacroix was cooked alive by the Vicelords of Thann for whittling cudgels on Thannsday.
Art
1-49

Tomb Carvings of the Inner Lands

50-70 Renderings of the Devil in Holy Art

71-00 How to Create Deathmasks
Mathematics
1-49

Rapid Calculating

50-70 Secrets of Numbers

71-00 A Survey of Codes and Ciphers
The latter gives a character +75% chance of breaking Tyrols code.
Linguistics
1-49

Basic Orcish

50-70 The Development of the Common Tongue

71-00 The Thieves Cant of the Costal Regions
Science
1-49

Elminsters Bestiary

50-70 Weapon Forging

71-00 Navigation by the Stars

The first details the following creatures with 85% accuracy:
Quaggoth

Harguinn Grue

Troll

Algoid

Giant Crayfish

Succubus

Ochre Jelly

Bookworm

Astral Deva

Ascomoid

Gold Dragon

Catoblepas

Owl

Hollyphant

Hobgoblin

Masher

Rat

Killer Frog

Cave Bear

Pseudo-Undead

[Detailing a creature with 85% accuracy is a vague precision worthy of Gygax himself, if I may say
so.]
Geography
1-49

Beyond the Sea of Dust

50-70 The Major Seas of Oerth

71-00 The World of Greyhawk
Literature
1-49

Elvish Songs from the Duchies

50-70 The Illiad

71-00 The Satanic Verses
Arcana
Roll from the Arcane Books list (1-50)
Special

01

Book of Vile Darkness

02

Libram of Ineffable Damnation

03

Manual of Gainful Exercise

04

Manual of Quickness of Action

05-96 Roll from Scroll list

97

Book of Num the Mad (containing spells)

98

Trimias Catalogue of Outer Plane Artifacts

99

Tyrols Spellbook

00

Strahds Necromancy (containing spells)

[Spells not listed for whatever concision may be left to this column. The Scroll list was 50 randomly
generated magical scrolls; make your own.]
Arcane Books
[All of these were titles that, if read, divulged various subject-related spells within their texts; spells
omitted for a semblance of sanity and encouraging tease to draw up your own lists.]
1. The Good Earth (clerical, good)
2. Falzoons Dark Formations (magical, evil)
3. The Heavens Power (clerical, good)
4. Notes of a Monk of St. Festus (clerical, good)
5. Conjuring and Summoning by Pratt (magical, good)
6. Beast Handling (magical, good)
7. Bible of the Black Lords (magical, evil)
8. Book of Graves (magical, neutral evil)
9. Foundations of Nature (magical, good)
10. Hymns to Xerbo (clerical, neutral)
11. Libram Inquistorium (magical, good)
12. Powers of Creation (clerical, good)
13. Secrets of Mutability (magical, good)
14. The Note-Book of St. Cuthbert (clerical, good)
15. Signposts and Wards (clerical, good)
16. Nums Book of Destruction (magical, evil)

17. Manipulating the Four Elements (magical, good)

18. Travel in the Abyss (clerical, evil)
19. Natural Wonders and How to Tap Them (magical, good)
20. Hornungs Realm of Chaos (magical, evil)
21. Curious Writings Found in the Rift by M.D. (magical, possibly good)
22. Rudds Book of Chaotic War (clerical, neutral)
23. Control of Life and Death (clerical, evil)
24. Pholtus Book of Law (clerical, good)
25. Spiritual Fortification (clerical, good)
26. Spiritual War (clerical, good)
27. Beast Mastering (magical, neutral)
28. Other Dimensions (magical, evil)
29. Plant Lore (clerical, good)
30. Xams Necromancy (magical, evil)
31. Tricks for Entertaining (magical, evil)
32. The Basics of Empowerment (magical, evil)
33. Protection from ChaosSome Advice (magical, good)
34. Weather Forecasting (clerical, good)
35. A Treatise on Conjuring (magical, good)
36. Weapons of the Mind (magical, good)
37. The Earth Mother (clerical, good)
38. Soul Trapping (magical, evil)
39. Rarys Commands (magical, good)
40. Manfreds Invocations (magical, evil)
41. Sands of Time (clerical, good)
42. On Disorder (magical, neutral)
43. Roots and Barbs (clerical, evil)
44. The Worship of Evil (clerical, evil)
45. Liquidity and the Elements (magical, good)
46. The Pilgrims Travels (clerical, good)
47. Investigations in Liquid (magical, good)
48. Enslavement by Therod Dall (magical, evil)
49. Travels to Holy Lands (magical, good)
50. Rumors and Notations (magical, good)