It is truly hard to believe that another eight weeks went by, these sixteen weeks seems

to have flown by so quickly. Ive truly learned a lot from our textbook public and private
families by Andrew J Cherlin. But I think mostly what Ive enjoyed most about this class
is the discussion boards just to be able to read everyone elses post and answers to
their questions to see how they interpreted the reading from our textbooks compared to
how I myself it interpreted it. Another aspect of this last sixteen weeks that I really
enjoyed was the paper that we all had to write on a law that we felt like needed to be
changed or altered in some way to help better benefit the family I think the most
fascinating papers I read were those on the budget debate for Illinois, it seems that
many of us feel the same way that its time for the politicians to get off their high horses
and stop voting along party lines and think more along the lines of how they can help
the families of Illinois that voted them into office to help take care of our state in those in
our state that need help most.

One of the most fascinating things I read in our second eight weeks of class was the
socializing and ethnicity section in Chapter 9. I find it very fascinating how the different
cultures vary so much in disciplining their children. How African-Americans are more
likely to use physical punishment than are Caucasian parents. I found this rather
fascinating but as a father myself as I thought about this and look back on how I raise
my children I realize I used very little physical punishment when disciplining them, most
of the punishments I can remember dealing out to my children for things that I felt it
done wrong were more along the lines of taking their cell phone away or grounding
them from their PlayStation or computers to as far as grounding them to their room for a

week where they were allowed to go to school come home and spend the rest of their
time in their room. Me myself growing up I grew up in a very abusive home which many
of you know Ive mentioned in my papers I always felt that thats why I kind of turned
away from physically disciplining my children. Another aspect I found very interesting in
our textbook is how Cherlin infers that Caucasian children that are physically disciplined
tend to feel a latent resentment towards the parent as if they feel if you love me how
could you spank me or slap me, whereas African-American children tend to feel that
they were spanked or slapped out of love from the parent, it just kind of struck me as
odd and how this perception of discipline was so different between cultures I find it
totally fascinating.

Another aspect of our textbook that I found really interesting was the section in Chapter
9 what difference did fathers make. I found this particular section to be very
informational to me as I was for the majority of my childrens life a stay-at-home father
as I was in a terrible accident there for my wife was the primary breadwinner for many
years in her home I stayed at home and raise the children. I raise my two boys to be
very respectful of all people not just of the opposite sex, but I also raise them to be able
to stand their ground to not be bullied which I feel something that slacked in our society
today I feel that in my personal opinion many children dont know how to deal with a
bully on their own in school officials answer to the whole problem is usually just
separation of the children. I feel that given my boys a strong male influence show them
how to stand up for themselves and not be pushed around. I know many people
probably dont agree with that many say that a single mother can raise her children just

as well is a two parent family where the fathers involved but I feel that in order for a
young man to learn to be a man it takes influence of a strong male just in the same way
it takes the influence of an independent-minded strong female to raise a young lady to
be an independent woman who can stand for herself.

Another section I found very interesting was mass incarceration and how it affects the
family. America began a very aggressive war on drugs back in the 1980s and with this
war on drugs came a federal mandate for mandatory sentencing. Mandatory sentencing
made it so that for very small amounts of crack cocaine youd be charged with a larger
quantity of weight as if it was powder cocaine and what that means is if you were
arrested with 5 g of crack cocaine your charged with 25 g of powder cocaine, which
under mandatory sentencing when he watch about up to a five or 10 year sentence.
Unfortunately these mandatory sentencing and drug laws tended to be very harsh when
it came to people of color mainly with black or brown skin, even though 85% of all drugs
brought into our country are used by Caucasian males between the ages of 18 and 25
the majority of people sentenced under these laws up to 95% were of African-American
or Hispanic descent. I found this really fascinating I wrote a paper on this in another
college class I titled the paper the lost generation due to the fact that entire communities
basically lost an entire generation of young males due to these mass incarcerations
under these harsh draconian laws. The effects that these laws have had on our society
is tremendous we have over 2.4 million children growing up in either single-parent
homes are being raised by a grandparent. Clearly these laws need to be revised and

more power given to the local judges to untie their hands so these young families are
not torn apart, because in reality all these laws have done is tear families apart.

Moving in with grandparents in Chapter 10 the section interesting, it kind of hit home on
a personal level as my wife was raised by her grandparents. I find it really amazing that
almost 8 million children 7.6 million to be exact according to our textbook were living
with and being raised by their grandparents according to the US Census Bureau in
2011. The amount of children living with their grandparents since the great recession of
2007 began his up by about 23% over previous years. Even before the great recession
of 2007 the number of children living with grandparents was on the rise its been on the
rise is more than doubled between 1970 and 2011. I feel that personally the reason why
many grandparents are raising their children now has a lot to do with the epidemic of
illegal drugs that are rampant in todays society among young parents, I feel that many
of these young parents are either unable due to their addiction to raise their children or
they are incarcerated due to their addiction and unable to raise their children.

Another section of our textbook that I found to be very heartening was the section for
older people with disabilities. Being a person who has a disability and has had disability
for the last 20 years, my wife and children of always said that I would never go to a
nursing home. We as a family experience something very bad with nursing home as
one of our relatives was placed in one in was abused at the hands of one of the
caregivers at this particular home. I feel that this is what made our children so adamant

that me and my wife would never be placed in a nursing home situation no matter our
disability if it was at all possible for us to stay at home with the help of a hired on
caregiver or with live-in family members and thats what we would do. I found it very
heartening to know that 80% of all elderly disabled peoples caregivers were family
members be at their spouse or their adult children and also feel that its a very good
thing that this is on the rise, I feel there for a while in American culture was a lot more
convenient to place our aged and disabled family members in nursing homes. But in
other cultures the elderly are treated with reverence and respect mainly in the Asian
culture its expected of children to take care of their aged and disabled parents. Im glad
to see that this trend is catching on again in the United States I feel that children would
benefit more from having multiple generations in the home, as our elderly have a wealth
of knowledge that can be gained from books that they can share.

Another section of our book that I found rather interesting was the domestic violence the
historical perspectives in Chapter 11. I truly found it hard to believe that men were
allowed to discipline their wives as if they were their children, and that the rule of
actually come from men being able to use a stick or rod no thicker than their thumb to
beat their wives and children. The thing I found most disheartening is that these laws
were not even called into question until the late 1800s. How some of the calls
themselves a man could take a rod the size of their thumb and beat the people that hes
supposed to love and care for the most in this world is beyond me, as a man I couldnt
even comprehend striking my wife let alone using a stick or rot upon her or my children.
It truly astounds me the things from history that were allowed to go unpunished that in

todays society would be considered abuse and would carry a heavy jail sentence most
likely for assault and battery with a weapon.

I found the section in Chapter 11 that dealt with social class and domestic violence,
even before reading the textbook I understood that domestic violence happened at all
income brackets and levels and social circles. I feel that many women are considered
low income by our society are particularly more vulnerable to domestic violence, I feel
this way because unlike a woman from a more affluent financial background has the
means to actually leave her abuser and support herself. Whereas women who are stuck
in the vicious cycle of poverty tend to have nowhere to turn. With that being said I know
there are organizations out there that help women of domestic violence, but I feel that
many of these women have been broken so badly by their abuser that they feel there is
no one that can help them, and what I mean by that is they feel that they most likely
grew up in an abusive home and now they have a spouse or significant other that has
most likely repeatedly pounded down with little self-esteem they had, and now feel that
theres just no hope for them.

Chapter 11 our textbook also deals with child abuse this particular section hit home with
me as I grew up in a very abusive home. I found it terribly disturbing that in a 1985
national survey of married or cohabitating adults with children that they found that 2%
admitted to having kicked bitten punched or even beaten up their children during the
previous year. I feel on a personal note that anyone that would ever do anything like that

to their child should have their children taken from them and they should not be allowed
to ever have children again. Though in that same section in our textbook they do speak
out about that between 2005 and 2006 the cases are steadily on the decline of reported
child abuse and neglect. I can only hope that when I get my degree and I achieve my
goal of becoming a used probation officer that Ill be put in a position to be able to help
some of these younger parents who were themselves abused as children or those that
are in the situation now that are abusing their children so that this vicious cycle of hurt
and pain can end.

In chapter 12 Cherin covers divorce I found a very interesting that in the 1960s in order
for a man and woman to be divorce they had to give good reason and just cause before
a court of law on why the marriage should be should be dissolved there are very
specific situations such as adultery nonsupport mental croaker and so forth that had to
be established before the divorce was granted. I was kind of surprised that it the 1970s
saw the first laws to implement a no-fault divorce one that can simply cite irreconcilable
differences without giving any details as to what these differences are ever divorce
granted. This law was actually designed to clear up the courts that were being clogged
with divorces which up till this point had to be proven to the judge why the divorce
should be granted, these new no-fault divorces which were implementing the state of
California first were quickly able to unclog the court system and were thought to bring
divorce law in line with changes to our societal attitude toward attitudes towards divorce.
My personal opinion all they did was make it simple for a man or woman who just
decided they didnt want to be married anymore and to not have to try to work out any of

their problems they could just go their separate ways though I dont know if this was
touched on in the book but I feel that this law couldve also led to the gold digger type
relationships where the man or woman marries their significant other for monetary gain
and then after a few months simply divorces them with the words of irreconcilable
differences granting set divorces.

Another section in chapter 12 was the premarital cohabitation, this when I kind of
understood me and my wife lived together for several years before we were married.
Though we had fully intended on getting married life, got in the way my accident
happened in the long recovery and we just kind of put it on the back burner, but I can
see how younger couples would want to live together on a trial basis to see if they do
have what it takes to be married. On a personal note I feel that this is a good thing I
think that theres nothing wrong with a trial period of living together before youre
married, and I know that many older people in our society feel that premarital sex is
wrong and there are a few religious orders out there that believe the premarital sex is
wrong and Im not going to debate that you know thats between you and what you
believe in but I feel that a young couple living together for several months or year before
their married may help them get their feet wet so to speak on the challenges that every
couple will face in their relationship.

In conclusion I have to say that the entire 16 weeks of this course has really opened my
eyes to many new perspectives as far as family is concerned. What I like most about it

was the discussion questions I really enjoy being able to read how other people
interpreted the reading, as well as the personal insights that they placed in their
answers. I think the course was very well laid out the papers were not so timeconsuming that you had to spend weeks in research. Overall I really enjoyed the last 16
weeks in this course I would definitely recommend it to others who are going to get to
the field of social work or to anyone that just wanted a better perspective on the Modern
Family.