Family Guy

The Musical
Book By: Garrett Howell
Music and Lyrics By: Walter
Murphy and Garrett Howell

Characters (In order of appearance)

Lois Griffin
Peter Griffin
Chris Griffin
Meg Griffin
Stewie Griffin
Brian Griffin
John Herbert
Glenn Quagmire
Cleveland Brown
Joe Swanson
Bonnie Swanson
Mort Goldman
Ernie the Giant Chicken

List of Musical Numbers

Act 1
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.

Overture (Orchestra, Lois Griffin)

Family Guy Theme (Full Company)
Welcome to Quahog! (Spooner Street Residents)
Popsicles! (John Herbert, Chris Griffin)
Giggity! (Glenn Quagmire, Hooker Dancers)
Thank the Whites (Peter Griffin, Jerome)
Act 2

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.

Entracte (Orchestra)
All I Need Is the Boy! (John Herbert)
Shipoopi (Peter Griffin, Cheerleader Dancers)
Mr. Booze (Peter Griffin, Brian Griffin, Alcoholic Dancers)
Joe Wheelie (Joe Swanson, Peter Griffin, Glenn Quagmire)
Ive Got You (Lois Griffin, Brian Griffin, Peter Griffin)
Ive Got You [Reprise] (John Herbert)
One Boy (John Herbert)
Home Away From Home, The Drunken Clam (Peter Griffin, Glenn

Quagmire, Joe Swanson, Cleveland Brown, Jerome)

10.
Together Now- (Peter Griffin, Lois Griffin, Meg Griffin, Chris
Griffin, Brian Griffin, Stewie Griffin)
11.
Finale- (Full Company, Orchestra)

ACT ONE

Song# 1 (Overture/ Family Guy Theme)

Scene# 1 (Int. Griffin House)
Peter: Good morning family! (Farts)
Lois: (Angrily) You couldnt have done that in the
other room Peter?
Peter: You know how I feel about questions Lois,
they give me tumors! (Laughs)
Chris:

(Enters

Stage

Right,

Gagging)

Did

something die in here?

Lois- (Irritably) No, that was your father!
Chris- (Disgusted) Im going for a walk!
Song# 2 [ext. Spooner Street] (Welcome to
Quahog!)
Scene# 2 (ext. John Herberts Front Lawn)
Herbert: Hey there muscly arms! Mmmmmm!
Chris: Hi Mr. Herbert!

Herbert:

Bringing

me

any

good

news?

Mmmmmmm!
Chris: Sorry Mr. Herbert I dont deliver today.
Herbert: Well, thatll give you plenty of time to
come to the cellar for some popsicles!
Chris: No Thanks
Herbert:

But

muscly

arms,

popsicles

are

soooooo delicious! Mmmmmmmm!

Song#

[ext.

John

Herberts

Front

Lawn]

(Popsicles)
Chris: No, I dont want any. Thanks anyway! See
you later Mr. Herbert
Herbert: (Creepily) get your fat ass back here.
Mmmmmm!
Scene# 4 (ext. Glenn Quagmires Front Lawn)
Quagmire: (looking at passing teen girls) Giggity
Giggity Giggity!

Cleveland: Is that all you do? Look at girls?

Quagmire: Yep, pretty much
Song# 4 [ext. Glenn Quagmires Front Lawn]
(Giggity!)]

Scene# 5 (int. The Drunken Clam)

White Guy: Why the hell did you raise the price?
Jerome: Sorry but Its supply and demand.
[under his breath] asshole
Jerome: I hate white people!
Peter: But Jerome, White People have given the
world so many great things!
Jerome: Like what?
Peter: Just listen up!
Song# 5 [int. The Drunken Clam] (Thank the
Whites)

ACT TWO
Song# 6 (Entracte)
Scene# 6 (int. John Herberts Living Room)
Herbert [looking into Chriss bedroom window
with binoculars] Sweet Jesus! Mmmmmmm!
Herbert: You know Jessie, out of all the things I
want in life, all I really need is that boy.
Mmmmmm!
Jessie: Bark!
Herbert: Mmmmmm! You said it Jessie!
Song# 7 [int. John Herberts Living Room] (All I
Need is the Boy)
Herbert: Mmmmmmm!
Scene# 7 (ext. Quahog Park)

Peter- Lets play some Football!

Song# 8 [ext. Quahog Park] (Shipoopi)