Coaching Conversations

Facilitative Coaching Conversation Tips and Activities

Cathartic Conversation Approach

o

Always ask for permission to invite in feelings.

Acknowledge the role that emotions play.

Affirm the value of processing and releasing emotions.

Cathartic Conversation Stems

o

I'm noticing that you're experiencing some feelings. Would it be OK to explore

those for a few minutes?

What's coming up for you right now? Would you like to talk about your feelings?

Wow. I imagine I'd have some emotions if that happened to me. Are you
experiencing strong feelings? (Aguilar, 2013).

Catalytic Conversation Approach

o

Nudge gently through questions.

Notice metaphor and symbolic language; explore.

Catalytic Conversation Stems

o

Tell me about a previous time when you How did you deal with that?

I hear you're really struggling with How do you intend to start?

It sounds like you're unsatisfied with What would you do differently next
time?

You've just talked about five different things you want to work on this week. The
last thing you mentioned is How important is this to you? (Aguilar, 2013).

Supportive Conversation Approach

o

Be authentic

Be Specific

Highlight mircromovements of growth.

Supportive Conversation Stems

o

I noticed how when you the students really (to identify something that
worked and why it worked)

It sounds like you have a number of ideas to try out! It'll be exciting to see which
works best for you!

What did you do to make the lesson so successful?

I'm interested in learning (or hearing) more about

Your commitment is really inspiring to me.

It sounds like you handled that in a very confident way.

You did a great job when you

I'm confident that you'll be successful. (Aguilar, 2013).

Facilitative Coaching Activities

Visualization and Guided Imagery

o

There is growing research on the way that visualization actually changes brain
chemistry to make us happier and even healthier. Guided imagery can help people
gain insight into an issue, shift their thinking and perspective, deepen and anchor
their learning, feel more empowered, increase their motivation, and change their
target behavior (Schwarz and Davidson, 2008, p. 133).

Imagine you are (Aguilar, 2013).

Role-Play
o

Role-playing gives clients a safe place to test skills.

Identify the situation. Identify skills needed for the situation. Client chooses
which role to play first. Role-play and stay in the Zone of Proximal
Development. (Aguilar, 2013).

Video Recording
o

Changes that result after teacher watch videos of themselves outweigh those that
result from peer/admin observations.

Sometimes I've held the camera, other times we've tucked it discretely on a shelf
so that everyone forgets it's there.

Make agreements about who will see the video and what will happen to it after.
For example, Only you will see this or We can save this for your portfolio or
We'll erase it right after.

Also offer the option of deleting a video if, for example, the lesson went horribly
wrong, or the principal completely lost her composure during a meeting. The
client reserves the right to trash it. It is essential that the client have a sense of
control over this learning. (Aguilar, 2013).

Surveys
o

They are useful for all stakeholders to give input and feedback. Periodic surveys
can track changes over time.

Surveys are more effective when they are anonymous. A variety of technology
can be used to administer. The coach and client need to determine what the data

report will look like beforehand. Then debrief the survey together. (Aguilar,
2013).

Positive Self-Talk
o

Humans tend to hold onto what went wrong rather than what went right. This
can bring down self-confidence and morale and is counterproductive to moving
forward.

The client writes down three things that went well everyday for one week and
their role in them to be shared at the end of the week. (Aguilar, 2013).

Writing/Journaling
o

For some writing is an effective and efficient process for processing feelings,
thoughts, and to record events. Writing can reveal beliefs, creative ideas and
challenges.

The client can just write for 15 minutes or the coach can provide writing prompts
for each session. Then the client and coach can discuss the writing. (Aguilar,
2013).

Exploring Metaphors
o

Exploring symbols and metaphors that are brought up can be a powerful way to
deepen understanding. They offer a view into the subconscious and can describe
feeling and experiences.

Pay attention to metaphors, allegories, and symbols clients may use to describe
events, feelings, and situations. Explore their meaning and how they apply to the
clients experience. (Aguilar, 2013).

Storytelling

Storytelling is one of the most powerful tools we can use when working with
individuals and groups. Stories can bring people together, create deep wells of
empathy, facilitate the release of emotions, and help us create narratives in which
we are powerful, resilient, and transformed. When clients tell a story to a coach,
they also communicate raw data about feelings and beliefs. We can use this
information to determine our next move: to predict what kind of coaching
approach might help our client, or what kind of activity might be useful to engage
in.
Prompt clients to share by saying, tell me a story about Also, invite a client

to tell a story from another persons point of view. (Aguilar, 2013).

Visual and Artistic Activities

o

Art can help some people connect quickly to their feeling and beliefs and
communicate them to others. Clients can collage, mold clay, and draw. Ask them
to just create something and ask them to let the art speak for them. Have them
write what it says to them and write it in the 1st person, beginning with I.
(Aguilar, 2013).

Directive Conversation Approach Tips and Activities

Confrontational Conversation Approach

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Listen for rut stories and interrupt them

Guide clients down the Ladder of Inference; present data that theyre not noticing.

Identify mental models that are fixed and constricting.

Rebuild models and mind-sets, and create river stories.

Confrontational Conversation Stems

o

Would you be willing to explore your reasoning about this?

Would you be open to examining the assumptions behind your reasoning?

I'd like to ask you about Is that OK?

What's another way you might ?

What would it look like if ?

What do you think would happen if ?

How was different from (or similar to) ?

What sort of an effect do you think would have?

I'm noticing (some aspect of your behavior) What do you think is going on
there?

What criteria do you use to ? (Aguilar, 2013).

Informative Conversation Approach

o

Be sure to coach within the clients Zone of Proximal Development

Release responsibility gradually, but ASAP.

Offer a selection of resources and guide the client to make decisions.

Informative Conversation Stems

o

There's a useful book on that topic by

An effective strategy to teaching is

You can contact in department for that resource

Your principal will be in touch with you about that. (Aguilar, 2013).

Prescriptive Conversation Approach

Use the prescriptive approach to direct behavior around legal, safety, or ethical
issues.

Use when client lacks confidence or cant direct their own learning.

Use with caution

Prescriptive Conversation Stems

o

would like you to discuss this issue with your supervisor.

You need to know that the schools policy is

Have you talked to about that yet? Last week you said you planned on doing
so.

Would it be OK if I shared some advice that I think might help you? Youre
welcome to take it or leave it, of course.

Id like to suggest (Aguilar, 2013).

Directive Approach Activities

Observations
1. Focus ! Identify a specific area of practice for the observation
2. Data Collection Tools ! Many districts have tools to gather data. Make sure

there is agreement about how data will be collected so there arent any
surprises.
3. Debrief ! Before the observation, arrange when and where the debrief will

happen. (Aguilar, 2013).

Giving Feedback
1. Assess for trust. First, don't give direct feedback until you are certain that your

client trusts you. You also need to have a deep understanding of who your
client is and how he might receive feedback. Some people respond well to
direct feedback and appreciate it; others may feel defensive and may shut
down.
2. Always ask for permission. This could sound like, Can I share a couple

things I observed that might help you address those issues you're raising? Or
Would it be OK if I gave you some feedback on the interaction you just had
with that student? My intention is to help you feel more empowered. Always
declare that your intention in giving feedback is coming from a place of caring
and concern, and a desire to help the client move toward her goals.
3. Ground feedback in observational data. It can sound like, I noticed that when

Michael walked in the room, you said, Take that hat off. I don't want to tell
you this every day. Then your next interaction with him was when he asked
to sharpen his pencil. You said You need to come prepared. The next time
you addressed him, you said, Michael, what's the correct verb form here? Are
you paying attention? Then he exploded and said, You're always picking on
me! At that point, you sent him to the office for being defiant. Can you see
his perspective, given these were the only interactions you had with him in ten
minutes? What might you have done differently?
4. Restrict critical feedback to one or two key points. It's common to observe a

teacher, for example, and note a long list of instructional or management

practices that could be improved. We might have noted that the classroom was
a mess, there was no system for students to turn in homework, there was no

agenda or objective on the board, the teacher's verbal directions were

confusing, the teacher gave students far too much time during the opening
activity, students were off-task and messing around, the opening activity
wasn't connected to a learning objective and seemed to be a time-filler, and
so on. The first step is to look at the data we collected and determine which
pieces are connected to the school or client's goals. For example, this teacher
might be working on her organizational skills, therefore, those are the areas
we will address when giving feedback. It always helps if the coach has some
time between the observation and the debrief to be able to digest the
observation and think through the debrief.
5. Find the phrasing ! The language that you use with clients differs with each

one based on what you know about how they will hear your feedback. Before
a debrief, I think through and sometimes write out or role-play what I'll say.
There are clients who respond well if I say something like, You have got to
clean up your room and post an agenda every day. You said you wanted to do
that weeks ago and I still don't see it. Others need to hear something like, A
few weeks ago you talked about wanting to clean up your room. You've said
several times that your disorganization gets in the way of being able to be the
teacher you envision. I noticed that along the back wall there were a dozen
stacks of papers, books, and files. What do you think could be getting in the
way of addressing this goal area?
In order to give effective feedback we must know how others will hear us.
6. Invite reflection ! After we've shared one or two pieces of feedback with a

client, we invite reflection on how the feedback was received and plan for
next steps. We listen carefully to how someone responds to our feedback,
noticing if the client becomes defensive, embarrassed, curious, relieved
there are a whole range of emotions that people can experience. It's our job as
a coach to notice them and address them if necessaryif it feels like the client
can't proceed to the next steps without processing them. (Aguilar, 2013).

Modeling
1. Before proposing this strategy, we need to consider how our client might

experience observing us. If by modeling we intend to demonstrate a standard to

which our client might aspire, we need to consider our client's zone of proximal
development. Some elements of what we model need to be within that zone. If
what we demonstrate is far out of the client's zone, observing a coach modeling a
behavior or activity can be overwhelming, intimidating, and daunting. It's not that
we don't modelbut we need to be selective about what and how we model.
2. What we model is determined in agreement with the client. Perhaps a teacher

wants to see a coach model questioning in whole group discussions or a

classroom management strategyit's essential that the specific behaviors a coach
will model are identified and agreed on beforehand. If a coach offers to model a
reading comprehension lesson this may be too broad for a teacher to identify any
replicable behaviors. The coach and client need to be very clear about what will
be modeled and what the client will observe. The goal is for the coach to
demonstrate a few actions that the client can do by herself fairly soon.
3. Also agreed on ahead of time is what the client will do while the coach is

modeling in order to anchor her learning. For example, a coach might model the
use of questioning to deepen reading comprehension. During the lesson, the
teacher agrees to script the questions that are asked as well as the student
responses. Clients may need support in narrowing a focus when observing a coach
model a strategy, and may need guidance on what to do during the observation.
Ideally, we want to elicit this from the client in our questioning: What might help
you see the effects of the strategies I use on the students? Or What kinds of data
would you like to gather when I facilitate this meeting? What might you notice or
look at that would help you see whether my facilitation is effective? But we need
to be ready with suggestions as well. We need to set up the client so that what she
observes is the action we're taking (the comprehension strategies, meeting
facilitation, and the like) and the effect it's having on othersthe students, staff
members, and so on.
4. As a coach is modeling, she needs to mentally notice what the client might or

might not notice. While we're skillfully delivering instruction, for example, we
note the data that the client has agreed she'll gatherfor example, on how
students respond to questions. Afterwards, when we debrief with the client, we
want to make sure that the client noticed anything we might have observed that
was key.
5. When a coach models, a structured debrief should occur ideally within twenty-

four hours. If the modeling has been set up with a clear focus and agreement
about how data will be gathered, then the debrief can flow out of those points.
During the debrief, we want to hear what the client noticed and engage in a

conversation about the actions that we modeled and we want to explore how
prepared he feels to implement the actions (provided, of course, that they were
exemplary). A coach needs to make sure to break down the strategy modeled into
a series of actionsbecause actions are replicable.
6. We want to avoid modeling our own personality or charismaour clients can't be

who we are. It's not uncommon for a client to say something like, I could never
do that. You did it so well; I can't be you. If we hear this, we must deconstruct
these perceptions and what's perceived as style. We need to help a teacher or
administrator see that we implemented a series of actions, and we also need to
affirm our client's personality. We don't want our clients to be us (sometimes
coaches need to remember this); they can't be us. (Aguilar, 2013).
7. Finally, in the debrief ask for the client's feedback on the practice we modeled:

Did you notice anything that I didn't notice? That I could have done better? That
wasn't clear? Although hopefully our modeling is exemplary, we can always
learn more and clients can be insightful in their observations. It's also critical that
coaches model being reflective, life-long learners who elicit feedback from
everyone. (Aguilar, 2013).

Elbow Teaching
o

Elbow teaching can be a guided practice to release responsibility. In this

approach, the coach can teach side by side with the regular classroom teacher and
can model use of a strategy and then turn the lead over to the teacher. For
example, a coach could model a think aloud strategy for solving an algebra
problem while students listen and take notes. Then the teacher could model the

subsequent problem, having just heard how the coach explains his thinking. This
can be a useful strategy when content or curriculum is new to the teacher. Its
impact also lies in the immediacy of the practice for the client. (Aguilar, 2013).

Lesson and Unit Planning

o

Lesson or unit planning with a coach can also be a guided practice. While
supporting the teacher to think through the steps of planning, a coach can model
when necessary or explain his process. As with other guided practices, the coach
needs to be sharply attuned to the client's needsreleasing when necessary, when
she sees that the client can move forward successfully, or instructing and directing
when the client needs support.

While engaging in any of these activities, it is critical that the coach keep two
things in mind: how is the client emotionally experiencing this learning activity?
And what is the client's ZPD? We need to be acutely aware of any anxiety that
might arise for our client and we need to constantly gather evidence that the
learning activity is within the client's ZPD.

When the client doesn't seem to make the kind of growth we hope for, when the
learning falls flat and doesn't result in any real changes in practice, it is most often
because one of these two considerations wasn't accounted foreither emotions
surfaced that shut down the learning or we were operating outside of the client's
ZPD. (Aguilar, 2013).

On-The-Spot Coaching
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The key component of this activity is that the feedback is in real-time and
discrete and in the ZPD of the client. This also provides opportunities to shorten

the cycle between practice, feedback and implementation of the coaching.

(Aguilar, 2013).

Field Trips
1. Identify specific behaviors that the client needs to see another model.
2. Ensure quality Make sure the other teacher is indeed exemplary by visiting

the teacher beforehand.

3. Decide how to gather the specific data and not worry about other practices

observed so the field trip isnt overwhelming.

4. The coach should also collect data along side the client and compare

afterward.
5. Debrief with reflective questioning techniques. (Aguilar, 2013).

Shared Reading
o

The coach can select resources to read on the topics selected together from the
coachs library.

Read the articles, books, etc. together during the meeting or as homework.

Discuss the text (Aguilar, 2013).

Looking at the Data

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Analyze data together from student work, surveys, test scores, or data collected
during the data collection phase of the coaching (Aguilar, 2013).

Coaching on Time Management

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Urge clients to select tasks based on priorities. There are several methods
available such as Seven Habits of Highly Effective People

Record how time is actually spent on activities (Aguilar, 2013).

References
Aguilar, E. (2013). The art of coaching: Effective Strategies for school transformation. San
Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass.