SABSE PEHLE MAI INTRO BOLUGI PHR TUM OUR UPPER CLASS SE SHURU KROGI

Marriage in our country is an occasion for insane displays of spending on outrageously

lavish valimas, mehndi banquets, jewellery, give-aways, dowry and similar acts. What is
interesting and downright appalling is that all classes of society are guilty of this madness.
Our upper-class uses the occasion to show how wealthy they are. The middle-class, as always
torn between the echelons of society, tries its best to spend as much as it can and register
itself within the upper-class so as to feel accomplished. The poor take out the money from
their childrens education, health and everyday basics of life to cover nonsensical marriage
expenses.
It is not hard to find instances in Pakistan where a poor family saves money for years to
marry off a daughter, when only a portion of this money would have been sufficient to send
the kids to school, buy them books and invest in their future.

Recently, I did a small survey in my native village and compiled statistics of the
expenses incurred on recent weddings in the village.
What I found was an astonishing trend.
A family, where the combined income of father and son was Rs60,000 spent more
than Rs800,000 on dowry, clothes, give-aways and various functions related to their
daughters wedding.
In another instance, a poor farmer in the village married his daughter to another
farmers son and bore wedding expenses of Rs150,000 most of which was
borrowed from relatives or contributed by someone well-off.
Another old man married his son who was a taxi-driver to another mans daughter
of similar financial stature and bought gold worth Rs150,000 for the bride. He
incurred additional expenses on arranging the customary functions. The money was
again borrowed from relatives and friends.
The social behaviour exhibited in these examples reflects a bizarre and anomalous
condition in our society all in the name of traditions and customs. Spending such
huge amounts of money on a wedding just does not make sense in a country with
poverty figures such as ours.
Marriage the commencement of a new and beautiful relationship is unfortunately
often marred in Pakistan either by the scary repercussions of a familys selfesteem blown away with the burden of donations or by going bankrupt and plunging
themselves into financial debts.
MAI STORIES SUNAOGI USK BAD TM YE PARA MODIFY KR K BOLNA

The dowry system has given birth too many evils. Many parents invite huge debts in
order to give dowries to their daughters. They work hard during the rest of their lives
to pay off the debts. Others do not hesitate to earn money by unfair means to meet
the demand of dowry. The devil of dowry has put an end to the happiness of many
couples even after marriage. Many young married girls commit suicide when they
find their domestic embittered by the daily taunts of their mothers-in-law. That is not
all. There are other evils too. The social evil of dowry system attracted the attention
of the government in the current past. Dowry was restricted to a limited amount.
Number of guests was also restricted and they were to be served with cold drinks
only. But it received no support of the people and the administration also did not take
it up very seriously. The dowry system has been eating into the vitals of the society.
Pakistan, with 2,000 reported such deaths per year, has the highest rate of dowry death at
2.45 per 100,000 women.[6][7]

ISK BAD MAI KUCH ADD KRUGI JO FIT HO BEECH MAY PHR TM YE NEXT PARA
START KRNA THE REASONS BEHIND SE
The reasons behind our irrational spending on marriages are obvious.
Long established traditions of wedding functions and obligations of giving
jewellery, dowry and give-aways has created a standard on which each family tries to excel
more than it actually can. People fear being mocked by society if they fail to spend enough.
More often than not, this forces them to spend more than the resources they have.
The society as a whole fails to realise that the money spent on weddings would be better
invested in improving living standards, education, health and the overall well-being of the
family.
Just imagine the on-going benefits if the same money that a poor father spends on his sons
wedding was spent on starting a business for the son or if the son saved the money for
occasions such as childbirth, health care and childrens education.
The irony is that although most people do realise that this behaviour is a social anomaly, we
all seem resigned to it and no one bothers to fix it. Everyone talks about the problem but no
one actually does anything to help society put an end to it. There may be the occasional
sermon in a mosque on not having extravagant weddings and the elderly in the family do tell
their children to be humble in their lifestyle, but very little is actually done beyond the verbal
discussion.
In effect, our society seems paralysed without any clue on how to change this terrible system.

So what we ought to do if we all realise that the spending trend in our weddings is
nonsensical?
I THINK SE HE START KARNA CHAHAY AGAY WORDS CHANGE KRDO OR AISE
BOLNA JAISE ANSWER DERAHI MUJHE
I think that the first step should be to try and gradually avoid some of the expenses that
make our weddings such a financial ordeal.
For starters there is at least, one certain expense that the men in this society can actually
refuse only if they could muster up the courage a rebellious stance to completely refuse
dowry from the brides family irrespective of how much they insist.
Who else, other than the man getting married, is in a better position to stand up against the
heinous practice of dowry?
After all, with the custom so deeply entrenched in our society, neither the girl nor her family
could ever propose a dowry-free marriage. It is the guy who is the receiver of dowry and
hence, it is only him who can take a stern stance against it.
YE JO YELLOW PARA HAI TMARA ISK BAD MAI EK SOLUTION BOLUGI WO YE
ARTICLE WALA B HOSAKTA HAI YA ARTICLE SE HUT KR BHI

Yes right! This is the basic thing and every man should do it. The consequences of
this social problem must be understand. A step should be taken from here. You guys
should work hard, have confidence in yourself establish yourself well before marriage
and raise your voice against this evil trend.
If we talk apart from manside. Each and everyone of us have to be aware of how to
protect ourselves against dowry.Few pointers:

Do not proceed with the wedding when there is a financial demand - A

gift is something given out of respect and love,it is never asked.When the
groom's family demand/specify money,take a cue and back out.

Do not wait under the false dream that things are going to get better.Prevention is
always better than cure.
Putting an end to the custom of dowry might prove to be the first step in cutting down
other wedding expenses.
Think about it.
If a man stands his ground against receiving dowry, then the bride and her family would also
have to be rational enough when demanding jewellery from the grooms side. This will help
save money for matters of far greater importance than outrageous functions, jewellery and
furniture for the grooms entire family.

Having said that, it is unfortunately not that easy to change long-standing traditions in
reality. In effect, this will entail standing against both the families because everyone here is
tied up in notions of trends, traditions and social pressures, and no one in either family
would agree to a dowry-free marriage. The classic argument is,
Hum apni khushi se day rahay hain
(Were giving it out of our own happiness)

Or
Hum tou thora bohat day rahay hain apni beti ko
(Were just giving a little bit to our daughter)
Giving less dowry is of no good either as it doesnt act upon the message that there was no
dowry required in the first place.
The snake of dowry is still alive but just fed less.
Giving less dowry is of no good either as it doesnt act upon the message that there was no
dowry required in the first place.
The snake of dowry is still alive but just fed less.
The idea is complex but fairly executable. If we dont start today, this anomalous social
behaviour will keep haunting us and our coming generations. All that is required is for both
the families to sacrifice their social harmony temporarily for the sake of the greater good.
The rich and the educated men, particularly, bear more responsibility as they are the ones
who set the example. There is no message to be followed if a poor family spends no money on
a marriage. A message is only given when you have a lot to spend and you choose not to.
The fear of the backlash from the families in the beginning is undeniable. But believe it or
not, once the dust is settled, everyone around us will appreciate us for sparing them
the money they were about to waste on things that do not essentially matter.
ISK BAD MAI BUS EK DO LINES ADD KRUGI THEN TM END KRDENA. JB END LIKHLO
TO SEND KRNA MAI US HISAAB SE LINES ADD KRLUGI. YA AISA BHI HOSKTA HAI K
AGAR TUM END MAY RELIGION NAHI LA RAHI TO MAI RELIGIOUS FACTOR ADD
KRDUN
Imagine the day when all you need for a marriage is a happy couple and two happy families
without the fear of arranging dowry or any money for their joyous day.
In an age where most of us dream about a changed society, very few take tiny but pragmatic
steps to bring about and be a part of that change.