GabrielA.

Sandoval
EDU_1020
071816

TheExtentofMyExistentialCognitive
Augmentation
DuringthissummersemesterIvelearnedmoreaboutmyselfthananyother
experienceinmylife.OutofeverythingIvelearnedandappliedtomylifeoneofthe
thingsIvetakentoheartwhileparticipatingintheEssentialsofCollegeStudycourse
attheSaltLakeCommunityCollegeisthefactthatImnotincollegetogetabetter
joboraspecificsetofskillsbuttobecomethebestversionofmyselfpossible.I
haventexactlybeenwhatyoucallacontributingmemberofsocietymyentirelifebut
thatdoesntnecessarilymeanthatImnotcapableofusingintelligentthoughtor
learningfrommymistakes.
InmylifeIhaveovercomemanyobstacles.Iveperseveredunder
circumstanceswherealmostallhavefailed.Iwasbasicallyanintelligentchildbeing
raisedbyanirresponsibleparent.WhilemysiblingsandIweregrowingupmymother
wasatfirstanalcoholicthenlateradrugaddict.Iunderstand,thatitwasastrugglefor
mymotherandthatshewascompletelyinexperienced,unprepared,andcamefroma
violenceriddenlowincomehome,butnonethelessitshouldnotactasanexcusefor
herpersonallifedecisions.Inwhichsomeofmysiblingssoonfollowedbecausethat
wasapparentlyourdestiny.OntopofthatIwasdiagnosedwithjuvenilediabetesat
theageof6.IwillalwaysrememberasIwatchedoneofmyauntsdiefromdiabetes,
whileatthesametimeIlearnedtomanagemine.Atfirstshestartedtolosehersight
andthenhertoesafterwardsherlegsandherhands,andfinallyherarmsandthat
wasthelasttimeIveeverseenher.ThiswastheonlyfamilyIwouldregularlysee
thatIknewhaddiabeteslikeme.ItwasaslowandpainfulprocessthatIsawunfold
withmyowneyesthatdrasticallyaffectedmyselfperceptionthroughoutmyentirelife.
WhileinschoolIdidntreallycareabouttheconsequencesofmyactionsor
whotheyaffectedbecauseinmyeyesIwasalreadydestinedtodieatayoungage,
whetheritbefromdiabetesorjustanothersacrificetothestreetslikesomeofmy
friends.Thesecircumstancescausedmetomakeveryrashdecisionsduringmy
middleschoolandhighschoolyears.EvensotherewasacoupleofteachersthatIve
metthatwereabletoseemypotentialthroughthetransparentbiasesregardlessof
circumstances.Theyvepushedmetoexcelwhennooneelsewould.Becauseofmy
appearanceandlivingsituation,almosteveryteacherIencounteredimmediately
assumedIdidnthaveinitiativeandinstantlyjudgedmefasterthenyoucansnapyour
fingers.Iamforevergratefultotheteacherswhodidpushmeregardlessofthe
circumstances.BecauseofthemIwasabletoseewhoIwasbecomingandhowmy
selfperceptionreflectedmyactions.
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GabrielA.Sandoval
EDU_1020
071816

WhetheryoubelieveitornotIcontinuallyfindoutnewinformationaboutwhoI
reallyamandwhyIactthewayIdo.Thismightbeadifficultconceptforsomepeople
tograsp,buttherealityofmyrepressedmemoryisessentiallyformyownmentalwell
being.ButIcontinuallyencounterthesideeffectswhichsometimesmakesitfeelasif
timeisalmostnonexistentsometimes,itsalmostasifitjustslipsawayfrommeat
randommoments.Therearechunksofmymemorywhichcanrangeanywherefrom
daystoyearsthatarelostfrommychildhoodandteenageyearsuntilIunknowingly
triggerthem.Forexample,IcanrecallwhenIattacked3peoplewhoweretryingto
breakintoourhousewhenIwas14becausemymomowedthemmoney.Itdawned
onmyconsciencethattheonlyreasonIrememberedthiswasbecauseofthe
movementIwasmakingwhilecleaningoutacarpetwithabroom.Thisoverwhelming
experiencecausedmetosuddenlyrealizethatwhatIdidwasWRONGandthatthe
ideahadneverevenoccurredtomebefore.Myintentwastokillthemfortheircrimes
whichIrationalizedassomethingthatwasokbecausetheywerethreateningthe
survivalofmyfamily.Itinstantlyhitmelikebeingstruckbylightning,thatIhadno
valueforhumanlifeuntilrecently,whichputmeinastateofshockmomentarilyIhad
tostopwhatIwasdoingjusttocomprehendtherealityofthescenariowithallofthe
actionsandconsequences.Irealizedmypastinterpretationofsurvivalwastodowhat
Ihadtoregardlessoftheconsequencesandremovinganyoneoranythingfrommy
environmentinterferingwithmysurvival,nothingelsemattered.
Iveonlyrecentlytriedtounderstandthedifferentperspectivesassociatedwith
theprocessofthoughtandthereasonsbehindmyactionswhentryingtoaccomplish
mygoals.Keepingtrackoftime&doingthingsbycertaindateshasneverreally
seemedtobeofmuchimportancebecauseIvealwayshadotherlifethreatening
decisionstomake,tomeitwassomethingIautomaticallyassumedIknewhowtodo.
IvejustbarelyrealizedhowmuchIreallyknowabouttheseskillsandbecauseofthe
pastcircumstancesIveencounteredIhaveneverthoughtabouthowimportantthese
skillsreallywereuntilIbeganmycourseworkintheSaltLakeCommunityCollege.
EverytimeImintheEssentialsofCollegeStudycourseIconstantlyreflectonmy
perceptionofrealitywithrespecttotime.Iveencounteredmanyflashbacksthathave
madesenseofmanypastpersonalexperiencesandactionsthatbeforewerejust
blursoffacesandplaces.IhavenowlearnedwhyIthinkthewayIdoandthereasons
behindthewayIhandleproblems.
ThethingsIcontinuallylearnaboutmyselfhaveshownmethetrueimportance
ofhavingknowledge.Therearemanythingsyoucandowithknowledge.Whatyou
choosetodowithitdependsonwhoyouareandwhatyourvaluesconsistof.IAtfirst
didntthinkthatgeneraleducationclassesevenmatteredbutnowIcanseethatthey
havebeennothingbutbeneficialtohowilearn&haveinfluencedmyunderstandingof
whyItscriticaltodeveloptheabilitytounderstandconceptsfromanunbiased
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GabrielA.Sandoval
EDU_1020
071816

perspectiveinordertothinkmoredeeplyandcreatively.Learningthingslikethishas
shownmewhyitsessentialforourcareerstotakegeneraleducationclassesandthe
impacttheyhave.Wearecreaturesofhabit.Whatwedo,wedohabitually.Ifyouare
constantlylatetoclass,alwayshaveexcuses,anddotheminimalamountofwork
thenwhatwouldstopyoufromapplyingtheseprinciplestoyourjoborcareer?Ihave
hadtodowhatIneededtobutthatdoesntmeanthatIcantlearntochangeforthe
better.
IvehadanideaforalongtimewhatIwouldliketodo.AsIgrowolderIadd
moreandmoredetailtotheoverallcareerfieldthatIvechosen.Duringmiddleschool
Ifoundoutthatthepeoplewhoreallydesignthingsarecalledengineersandthe
peoplewhobuildthemaretheirworkers.EventhoughIlikedtobuildthingsIdidnt
wanttobealaborermywholelife,likesomeofthefamilymembersIknew.Whatthey
encounteredandtheconditionstheyhadtoendurejusttokeeptherejobswere
relentlessandIcantseemyselfdoingthatIrefusetotreatedunfairlybecauseofhow
IlookandIdontevenknowhowtheywouldstandforit.SoIdidsomeresearchabout
engineersandfoundoutthatthere'sallkindsofengineers.EventhoughIwasasking
wellthoughtoutquestionsandshowedinterestinthefielditseemsasifnoonewould
helpmesoItookmattersintomyownhandslikeeveryotherproblemIve
encountered.Ieventuallywentoutandaskedpeople,basicallyalmosteveryoneI
knewtoseeifitwouldbepossibletotalktoanyengineers.AfterawhileIfounda
coupleofcivilandmechanicalengineerswhowerewillingtotalktomein
informationalinterviewsabouttheircareerandIgainedthemuchneededinformation
thatformedmyeducationalgoalsthathaveonlybecomemorerealisticthecloserI
get.
IunderstandtothefullextentthatImeventuallygoingtohavetopayoutof
pocketformyeducationalexpenses.ImcurrentlyattendingtheSaltLakeCommunity
CollegeinordertogainaAssociatesdegreeinpreengineering.Iplanongoingfull
timeinthefallandspringandparttimeforthesummers.Iknowthatthereareplenty
ofscholarshipsouttherethatIqualifyforandallIhavetodoislookintherightplace.
DuringmyhighschoolcareerIwasatfirstelectedasthevicepresidentforLatinosIn
Actionuntilthepresidentsteppeddown,afterwardsIsoontooktheposition.Asthe
newpresidentItookfulladvantageofthevariousresourcesandopportunitiesgivenin
theprogram.AssoonasIseenthatthisclubwasavailableincollegeIjoinedforthe
verysamereason.Themethodoflearningthroughhelpingmycommunityhas
effectedmyoverallviewofpeopleforthebetter.
WhileImonmywaytogetabachelorsdegreeinMechanicalEngineeringI
planonobtainingaCertificateofProficiencyforSoftwareDevelopmentthatwayIcan
payfortherestofmyschooling.Ivealreadytakenthefundamentalsofprogramming
courseduringhighschoolsothatIwouldhaveaheadstartduringcollege.Thisisyet
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GabrielA.Sandoval
EDU_1020
071816

anotheriteminmybeltoftricksthathasgivenmeabrighterfutureisthefactthatI
sawthisconcurrentenrollmentclassasanopportunityandnotanobligationlikemost
ofthepeoplemyage,IfeelasifithasshapedthewayIusetechnology.BeforeItook
forgrantedhowmuchcomputershaveshapedsocietyandtheeffecttheyvehadon
basicallyeverythingwedo.ThiscausedmetohavetochangewhatIthoughtIknew.
Itoccurredtomethattheprocessofhowdothingsmatters.TheEssentialsofCollege
Studycoursehasonlyreinforcedthisstrategyofthoughtforme.
IcanstillrememberwhenIfirststartediwasthetypeofpersonwhodoesntlike
toaskquestionsbecauseIfelttooembarrassedtoadmitthatIneededhelp.I
immediatelyrealizedthatthiswashurtingmyeducationmorethanitwashelpingit.I
dontknowaboutyou,butsometimesI'malittletoodamnstubbornformyowngood,
butmestartingtofailquicklyoverpoweredmybeliefsthateverythingwasmyfaultfor
notpreparing&thateverythingIencounteredwasapersonalproblem.Myresponse
wastodosomethingthatIvenevertriedbefore,Ilookedthroughmynotestoseewhat
Icoulddoaboutitandfoundthesectionabouteffectivelyusingresources.ifiremember
correctlywetalkedaboutthisbeingaskillandwhentouseit,whichisexactlythe
situationIwasin.Afterthisfirstbreakthroughiunderstoodnottakeforgrantedthe
valueofsomethingsosimpleasaskingquestionsinclass&askingforhelpwhenitis
needed.SoiplanonusingthisskillbyrecitingtomyselfbeforeaclassImnot
embarrassedtolearn.Becauseofthissimplestepihavebeenabletounderstandthat
inorderformetobesuccessfulinotherclassesImgoingtoneedtotakeadvantageof
theresourcesavailable.AnotherproblemthatIveencounteredduringmylearning
experience,isthatIthoughtthatIpaidattentionwaymorethenIactuallydid.InrealityI
wouldtendtospaceoutorlosefocusveryquicklyanddidntevennoticeituntilitwas
toolate.SoassoonasIlearnedwhatactivelisteningwasIrealizedthatitwas
somethingthatIneededtoworkon,soIdid.Thisexperienceallowedmetofully
comprehendwhatactivelisteningreallywasandhowIwouldbeabletoapplyitto
understandindepthwhat'sreallygoingon.Becauseofthisskillmynoteshavebeen
morehelpful,organizedandunderstandablewhenIreviewthem.AnotherthingthatI
learnedwaswhatwasgoingtobeimportantinalecture,likeiftheinstructorrepeats
anything,lowerstherevoice,orslowsdowntheirspeechmomentarilythenitsprobably
goingtoreferencedlateron.