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Hey guys,"

"

Congratulations on purchasing this book. Ive put a lot of time and

effort into perfecting Tinder, so you do not have to. From all of the books
Ive reviewed and advice Ive heard, this is the most comprehensive, easyto-understand guide available anywhere about meeting girls on Tinder. If
theres anything you still have questions on, send me an email at
cdharders@gmail.com. Ill happily respond."
Also, visit conquerdatingapps.com/bonuses to get access to several
interviews Ive had about Tinder that go even more in depth, to get access
to my private Facebook group where I give advice to everyone with a
Tinder-related question, and to be the first one to get access to my Tinder
Ninja App, an app that does almost all of the Tinder work for you."

"

Chris"
chrisharders.com

Page 2 of 67

For my new friend Theresa,"

Thanks for the support."

And away we go

Page 3 of 67

About This Book"

5"

What Is Tinder?"

6"

Why Girls Use Tinder"

6"

How to Conquer Tinder..."

7"

Your Profile"

8"

The Pictures"

10"

The First Picture"

10"

The Next Pictures"

11"

What I Learned About Pictures"

11"

Pictures I Use for Tinder"

13"

The Duds that Just Missed the Cut"

18"

Matching"

28"

Messaging"

29"

Its a Match!"

29"

Your First Message to Her"

31"

The Early Tinder Conversation"

32"

The Extra Letter"

36"

The Dash"

37"

Lack of Capitalization"

38"

Setting Up the Date"

38"

Getting Her Number"

41"

Once You Get Her Number"

43"

Building More Rapport"

43"

Confirming the Date"

44"

Actual Tinder Conversations"

46"

Isabel"

47"

Sonya"

50"

Olivia"

54"

Britt"

60"

Mary"

64"

Conclusion"

67

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About This Book!

Its funny. I did not plan to write this playbook about Tinder. All I cared
about was getting good with Tinder and having even more access to
beautiful women. I decided to write this playbook after I had enough back
and forth discussions in person, over text, and in dating forums to realize
that my excitement and eagerness to excel at Tinder turned me into an
expert with gaming on this new medium, or playground as I like to think of
Tinder. I put this playbook together in my spare time. I really just made it for
a few friends and wings to have as a reference for their own dating
success. After some really positive feedback and from friends successes,
Ive decided to make my advice on Tinder available to everyone."
I call this guide a playbook because I look at Tinder as a fun game. I
found that the more fun I had texting these girls, the quicker we wound up
meeting in person where the real fun began..."
This playbook will cover everything you need to know about how to
create an attractive Tinder profile and how to move Tinder conversations to
actual dates fast. First, I give an overview of what Tinder is and how to set
up your profile. Next, I give an overview of how to chat on Tinder to be
more fun and a strategy to move the conversation toward an actual in
person date. Finally, I give you 5 full length message threads that started
on Tinder and ended with me and her meeting up in person on a date. I
provide a line-by-line breakdown of EVERY message I send because I
want all of the messages to make complete sense to you."
Ive had a lot of laughs over the things that Ive texted girls to test
what would work and what would not work on Tinder. Ill be the first to admit
that I was really bad when I first started using Tinder. The initial failure
inspired me to work even harder to make everything work perfectly.
Fortunately, you do not have to make the same mistakes I did. I have
provided examplesfrom start to finishof every line of messaging I used
to meet several different girls on dates from Tinder. What I learned from all
the conversations I had was that a lot of the lines in one Tinder
conversation could be used word-for-word in another Tinder conversation.
When I realized the conversation could be used again and again, my
success skyrocketed. Start with the examples I provide to save yourself the
pain of the learning curve. Lets get you quick results!"

"
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What Is Tinder?!
All of this talk about Tinder, and I still havent said what it is. Lets
change that..."
Tinder is a dating app that links to your Facebook profile to connect
you with people nearby. The app shows the user pictures of people nearby
also on Tinder. If two users tell Tinder they like each other, Tinder lets them
know. If the users want, they can message each other and maybe even
meet up. The app is simple to set up and fun to use. A lot of hot girls are
using the app because of the simplicity and fun. Tinder has been described
as the hook up app."
While I have personally met girls off of Tinder down to hook up on the
spot, Tinder is no longer a hook up app. In fact, Tinder is actually having an
odd identity crisis. Tinder is not online dating, but it pairs people that like
each other together. I say Tinder is not a hook up app because the app has
gone viral. There are a lot of people logging into Tinder just to see what all
the fuss is about. Unfortunately, Tinder is not Grindr for the heterosexual
community, but Tinder is a very good tool to find attractive women nearby
to meet up with and run your game on."

Why Girls Use Tinder!

Every time I go on a date with a girl I meet on Tinder, I ask why she
uses Tinder. The answer is overwhelmingly simple: Its fun. Girls are not
using Tinder as a dating app; if they want to date, they will join Match.com
or OKCupid. They are also not using it to hook up... generally. Most girls
are treating Tinder like the next Candy Crush or Angry Birds app. Tinder is
a way to pass the time that is dynamic enough to keep them interested.
With the user-to-user interaction, girls do not lose interest as quickly as
other apps. I laugh sometimes when I watch girls use the app then act
confused when the guy they are messaging asks to meet up. What kind of
girl does he think I am? I dont just meet guys I dont know. In my head, Im
laughing but I understand why the girls think the way they do. At the same
time the girls are misusing the app. I also laugh because I think of the
number of times Ive heard a girl tell me You are the first guy Ive seen
from Tinder, and I wonder what part of the messaging the guy made a
mistake on."
Tinder is literally a way for many girls to pass time. I watch as girls
use Tinder. The amount of mindlessness and randomness associated with
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who they choose and why used to baffle me. Girls generally have no idea
of why they pick one hot guy while rejecting another. All I know is that
while attractive enough Im not nearly as hot as some of the other guys
messaging her on Tinder. Also, looks are overrated. Girls are not using
Tinder to just pick hot guys. They are using it to have fun. Whoever is most
fun wins. Thats what Im going to show you."

How to Conquer Tinder...!

To conquer Tinder, follow the strategy I developed from a lot of
failures followed by a lot of successes. You need the right look, the right
messaging, and a willingness to give these tips and tricks a chance. Keep
reading. You are on your way to filling your schedule with more dates than
youll know what to do with.

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Your Profile!
When I saw how Tinder differed from the regular dating sites, I was
so excited. No About Me section, no 1,000 word minimum description.
Tinder seemed simple. I knew girls would love it. Girls didnt want to answer
a million and a half questions about themselves to find a match and neither
did I. I knew there would be some difference between Tinder and other
dating sites, and I was excited to figure it out..."
First thing is first. Before I could get my Tinder game good, I needed
to make sure the girls would want to see me. I reviewed the pictures Tinder
pulled off my Facebook: 3 pictures in a row of me at a club with a different
girl in each photo, a picture with me in a group of friends where it was hard
to see who I was, and a picture where I was wearing an outfit I wouldnt
wish upon a homeless person... Yikes!! If I ever wanted a girl to like me, I
was going to need to improve my profile. So I put in some great shots of
myselfhead shot quality. But there were not too many more responses
than before. One day while on a date with a girl I met a few hours earlier,
she wanted us to be silly, and we took pictures of each other doing karate
kicks. She uploaded my picture to Facebook. I watched as that picture
received more likes and comments on my Facebook wall than any other
picture Id posted in the past few months. I turned that into my Profile
picture on Facebook, and I received even more likes and comments. Then,
I put the picture on my Tinder account. The number of matches I had went
through the roof!! I realized, girls dont need me to look cool... They needed
me to be fun! Why are they on Facebook? Why are they on a knock-off
dating app? After I made this realization, my matches went through the
roof. I employed a few tricks I learned from internet dating experience on
how to choose pictures, and I was on fire. Now, its your turn..."
Lets get you looking good. Tinders set up is amazing. There are 8
things a girl can see on your Tinder profile:"
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.

Your first name"

Your age"
Your distance from her"
Last time you logged in"
Shared interests"
Friends in common"
Your tagline"
Your pictures"
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Of those, the only items you have real control over are your tagline
and your pictures. (There is a way to also change your age if you want to
gain or shed a few years, but that gets complicated fast.) Now, the tagline
is where you can say something about yourself, and pictures are where you
show yourself off. After trying a lot of cool fun and clever items to include in
my tagline with no real difference in results, I was enlightened to the inner
workings of the female mind when I watch girl after girl use a similar
selection process to pick guys she liked. I discovered the tagline was
almost useless. Girls spend at most a few seconds on any one persons
profile, and I have yet to hear a girl say that a guy was a winner because of
his tagline (though I have heard the opposite). I have only heard the tagline
hurting the guys chance of meeting the girl when he says something that
the girl does not understand or thinks is weird. I leave the tagline blank. You
should too. There is nothing you can say in that tiny box that will win the
girls interest that quality pictures cannot accomplish. Plus, who wants to
read when they are trying to have fun, right?? A picture is worth a thousand
words. Forget about the 5 words for the tagline, and lets help you choose
some good pictures."

"

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The Pictures!
You want your profile to be catchy and attractive to women, so they
are interested in meeting you. As pictures are 95-100% of a Tinder users
sorting criteria, you want your pictures to encapsulate a variety of attractive
qualities including: fun, caring, social, friendly, desired by other women,
worldly, intelligent. So, in the 4 or 5 pictures you post, you want to have a
variety of pictures:"

Picture of you having fun"

Picture of you with a beautiful girl (do NOT show the two of you
kissing; her kissing you on the cheek is allowable but not
recommended)"
Picture of you with family"
Picture of you at a foreign location"
Picture with you and animals (And I mean cute furry animals.
No scary animals. Only cute furry animals. You may love your
snake and know a few girls that like snakes, but to get mass
appeal, stick to dogs, cats, bunnies, and pandas)"
Picture of you on an adventure (hiking, skiing, waterskiing,
scuba diving)"
Picture of you with your shirt off at the beach or a pool, if you
are in great shape"
All of these pictures should have you with the biggest smile you can
possibly have on your face, so girls know you are a great and fun person.
You should be well groomed with a good hair style. You want to be dressed
well. If you are not dressed well, do not include the picture. In the next
section, I give examples from pictures I am actually using on my profile. I
include descriptions of what makes the pictures good and what could be
improved. Then, I show below pictures I havent used in my profile and
explain why they werent winners. Also note, if you are in doubt of whether
or not a picture is good, it is likely bad. You want ONLY good pictures. Its
better to have 3 solid pictures than 3 solid pictures and 1 dud. That dud will
set you back significantly."

The First Picture!

The featured picture is by far the most important picture you can
possibly choose on Tinder. Over half the girls using Tinder will determine
whether they like you off the first picture alone!! The first picture HAS TO be
FUNNNN!! Save the expensive headshots and shirtless pics and pics with
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you and celebrities for the next few slots. This is where you get a major leg
up over everyone else she sees on Tinder. She is using the app for fun, so
you want to be the fun she is looking for. The picture should have a good
shot of your face and should be an action shot, so to speak. It is you
doing something alone or with other people that looks fun, high energy, and
dynamic. My profile picture is on the next page. You must be sure that your
face is also visible in the profile picture. While the picture should show you
being fun, it also needs to show you."

The Next Pictures!

You want to stack your photos after this to give as many different
elements to your profile as quickly as possible for the girl. One mistake I
made when first using Tinder is having multiple pictures in a row of me at
clubs. In one pic, I was by myself. In another, I was with a girl. In another, I
was with friends. The setting never changed though, so girls all thought I
was just a club guy. Make each picture different from the last. If the first is
high energy with lots of people, the second should be more calm of you
with a cool backdrop or with some friends or family. Head shots are so
overdone that I would not show one of those until Picture 3 or later. Girls
want uniqueness. The same gets boring quickly. As long as each picture
builds a new element to your character, you are doing great. Save a pic of
you with no shirt or in the gym for spot 4 or 5. The girl should get a good
idea of you being a fun, social, friendly, family-oriented, relaxed, high
energy, adrenaline loving guy before she sees that you are also jacked out
of your mind. If you arent jacked out of your mind, no worries. You are like
me. No shirtless pictures."

What I Learned About Pictures!

So I picked out the best pictures I possibly could, put them together,
and watched my results skyrocket. I told my wing in New York what I was
doing. He said, Thats sic! What do you think of this picture for me? He
sent me a picture of him and a gorgeous Latina dancing at a salsa dancing
competition."
Nice! I said, Make sure to crop it so its just you and her in it.
Otherwise, girls will get confused which one is you."
My wing agreed. Think girls will care if I have another girl in the
shot?"

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Care?? I said. Theyll love it. What better way to use pre-selection?
Plus, your dance floor game is insane. May as well give them a taste ahead
of time."
And thats how I got more girls than ever liking mine and my wings
profile.

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Pictures I Use for Tinder!

"
PICTURE 1: THIS IS MY MAIN PIC. IT IS AN ACTION PIC. IT DEMONSTRATES I AM FUN.
ADDITIONALLY, I AM WELL-DRESSED. A SMILE ON MY FACE WOULD IMPROVE THIS PIC. THE
NUMBER OF GIRLS THAT TURNED DOWN A SHIRTLESS RIPPED DUDE TO GO OUT WITH ME
BECAUSE I AM FUN IN A PICTURE BLOWS MY MIND. LOOKS LIKE CYNDI LAUPER WAS
RIGHT... GIRLS JUST WANT TO HAVE FUN.

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"
PICTURE 2: THIS IS ALSO ON MY PROFILE. I AM WITH A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN AT A CLUB
(SOCIAL PERSON WITH SOCIAL PROOF) AND AM WELL-DRESSED. A BIGGER GRIN WOULD
HAVE MADE THIS PIC BETTER.

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"
PICTURE 3: I USE THIS PICTURE OF ME WITH MY FAMILY IN A FOREIGN LOCATION TO SHOW I
TRAVEL AND HAVE A FAMILY. I AM SMILING, WHICH IS GREAT. THE SHIRT I AM WEARING WILL
ALSO BUILD COMFORT BECAUSE IT LOOKS LIKE I MIGHT WORK WITH THE SPECIAL
OLYMPICS.

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"
PICTURE 4: ANOTHER PICTURE OF ME WITH A BACKGROUND THAT SHOWS I TRAVEL. THE
JACKET LOOKS GOOD AND SO DOES MY HAIR. THE SMILE IS GOOD. A BIGGER SMILE WOULD
MAKE IT BETTER.

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"
PICTURE 5: THIS PICTURE SHOWS ME WITH BEAUTIFUL WOMEN AND FRIENDS. IT BUILDS
SOCIAL VALUE AND PRE-SELECTION. WERE ALSO AT A CLUB, WHICH SHOWS WE HAVE A
GOOD TIME.

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The Duds that Just Missed the Cut!

"
PICTURE 6: ME IN THE OUTDOORS. THIS SHOWS I AM ADVENTUROUS. UNFORTUNATELY, MY
BODY IS NOT UP TO PAR FOR A SHIRTLESS PIC, AND THE SHAVED HEAD DOESN'T LOOK
GOOD ON ME. A SHAME. THIS COULD HAVE BEEN GREAT.

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"
PICTURE 7: ME PERFORMING STAND UP COMEDY. THE SMILE IS FANTASTIC, AND THE ACTION
IS ATTRACTIVE. HAVING THE SIGN IN THE BACKGROUND MORE VISIBLE WOULD BE VERY
HELPFUL, SO WOMEN KNEW WHAT I WAS DOING. WHAT KILLS THE PHOTO IS MY FASHION
SENSE. IT IS TERRIBLE.

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"

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PICTURE 8: ME WITH ANOTHER BEAUTIFUL WOMAN. THE MAIN PROBLEM IS HOW PALE THE
FLASH MAKES ME LOOK. NOT ATTRACTIVE. ADDITIONALLY, I ALREADY HAVE A PHOTO OF ME
WITH A GIRL. ONE PHOTO WITH A GIRL IS FINE, ANY MORE AND YOU LOOK LIKE A PLAYER.
GIRLS DON'T LIKE PLAYERS. THEY LIKE SUAVE SOCIAL CALIBRATED GUYS.

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"
PICTURE 9: ME WITH MY FAMILY. AN AMAZING PICTURE IF... I DIDN'T HAVE ON THAT BELT,
SUNGLASSES, A TUCKED IN V-NECK. MY HAIR IS MISSING PRODUCT TOO.

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"

Page 23 of 67

PICTURE 10: MY SISTER AND I AT HER GRADUATION. AGAIN, POOR FASHION AND BAD HAIR IS
PRIMARY CULPRIT. ADDITIONALLY, ANOTHER PICTURE WITH A GIRL IS UNNECESSARY. JUST
BECAUSE I KNOW SHE'S MY SISTER DOESN'T MEAN EVERYONE ELSE KNOWS.

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"
PICTURE 11: ANOTHER GIRL PIC. NO NEED TO LOOK LIKE A PLAYER. PLUS, I'M NOT MAKING
EYE CONTACT WITH CAMERA, AND YOU CANNOT TELL HOW ATTRACTIVE THE GIRL IS BASED
ON HOW SHE BLOCKS HER FACE. THE BACKGROUND IS NOT GOOD EITHER.

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"
PICTURE 12: I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS PHOTO EXCEPT FOR... HOW FAR BACK I AM IN
THE PHOTO. IT SHOWS I'M FUN AND HAVE FRIENDS AND GO OUT. PLUS, I'M WEARING A GREAT
SHIRT AND HAVE GREAT HAIR. IF SHE DOESN'T KNOW WHO I AM BECAUSE OF WHERE I'M
STANDING, THERE'S NO POINT. ZOOMING THIS PHOTO, SO IM MORE VISIBLE WAS MY
ATTEMPT TO REMEDY THE PROBLEM. THE PICTURE WAS TOO BLURRY WHEN IT WAS ZOOMED
IN ENOUGH TO DISTINCTLY KNOW WHO I WAS. ONE OTHER INTERESTING CONCEPT THAT
YOULL NEVER HEAR ANY OTHER INTERNET DATING EXPERT GIVE ADVICE ON IS... YOU DONT
WANT TO POST PHOTOS ONLINE WHEN SOMEONE ELSE IN THE PHOTO IS MUCH BETTER
LOOKING THAN YOU. EVEN IF YOU ARE FAIRLY GOOD LOOKING, THE CONTRAST BETWEEN
THE PERSON YOURE WITH AND YOU WILL MAKE YOU APPEAR LESS ATTRACTIVE THAN YOU
ACTUALLY ARE. IN THIS PHOTO, TWO OF THE GUYS ARE UNDENIABLY MORE ATTRACTIVE
THAN ME (BOTH HAVE BETTER FACIAL STRUCTURES AND ARE MORE FIT). IF I CHOSE THIS
PHOTO, GIRLS WOULD NOT KNOW WHICH PERSON I WAS. EVEN IF A COOL ATTRACTIVE
PHOTO, WHOS THE GIRL GOING TO WANT? THE MODEL-ESQUE GUY OR THE AVERAGE
LOOKING FRIEND NEXT TO THE MODEL? ALL OTHER THINGS BEING EQUAL, SHE WOULD
PREFER THE MODEL. THE AMOUNT OF WEIRDNESS THAT HAPPENS OVER TEXT WHEN SHE
STARTS CONFIRMING WHICH GUY YOU ARE IN THE PHOTO IS A PAIN TO DEAL WITH.

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"
PICTURE 13: I WISH I COULD HAVE USED THIS PHOTO. IT SHOWS I AM PHYSICALLY ACTIVE
AND A RISK TAKER. THE SMILE IS GOOD TOO. A BETTER BACKGROUND WITH MOUNTAIN IN
VIEW, A BETTER SHIRT, AND BETTER HAIR WOULD HAVE MADE THIS PICTURE PERFECT.

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Matching!
When I was done fixing up my profile, the fun really took off. I started
picking girls I liked and turning down girls I didnt like, and the selection
process was fun... for about 10 minutes. Then, my ADD and FOMO (Fear
of Missing Out) kicked in. Im not patient. I like results, and I like them as
quickly as possible. Some people enjoy the excitement of seeing who they
like and who likes them back. (Most girls do.) I on the other hand am a little
more impatient. In fact, Im not only impatient, but Im actually nervous that
there is a girl nearby that may be further down in my Tinder queue thats
just the look I want, and by the time I get to her, she will have had too many
creepy guys (who have no clever messaging strategy other than to spam
Nice tits and Youre hot and Hey cutie) scare her off, and shell delete
her account before I ever get the chance to game her."
Yes, I realize my FOMO is ridiculous, but it drove me to develop this
matching strategy to save myself time and headaches, so I could do the
best possible job I could to maximize my matches"
The hot-or-not selecting process is what makes Tinder so addicting.
Women log on and mindlessly look at pictures and swipe right (accept) or
left (reject) to pick guys they like. You are more than welcome to do this. I
do not have any advice on how you should pick girls you want. There is no
game tactic to accepting or rejecting a girl. Personally, I dont have time for
the traditional filtering process people use on Tinder. Im too busy with
business and women to put time and energy into the picking women who
may or may not like me back, so I streamline the selection process for
myself. Rather than swipe right to like and left to reject, I like every single
woman. Thats right. I like all of them. I like them before I even see their
profile picture."
By liking all of them, I save myself tons of idle time and mental effort.
I wait until Tinder tells me that a girl likes me back to view her profile picture
and decide if Im interested in meeting her. If I am interested, I message
her. If I am not interested, I block her. Dont worry, you arent hurting her
feelings if you block her; the average metropolitan girl gets at least 20 new
matches a day. She wont even notice you blocked her. I am a personal fan
of the system also because it stops me from making mistakes by
accidentally rejecting a girl I thought was cute but slipped my hand on. Its
simply a more efficient strategy, but do what you like most.

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Messaging!
With the matches pouring in, I started playing with the messaging. I
was a night club promoter at the time and had plenty of time to be on my
phone messaging girls. Although I was very good at selling a club to a guy
or girl when they were in front of me, I couldnt meet up with a girl from
Tinder on a date to save my life. It was frustrating at first because I couldnt
figure out why I could have great conversations with the girls then watch
the conversation quickly cut off the moment I suggested meeting up with
the girl."
Then, the realization hit me. The answer was a lot more obvious than
I had realized: I needed to stop focusing on the conversation and shoot for
what mattered... the Date."
I changed my strategy. I kept things light, and I had more dates. Next,
I learned that numbers were more valuable than messaging on Tinder, so I
learned how to get numbers until I found a line that worked EVERY
SINGLE TIME to get the number as long as I did the right steps ahead of
time. The final piece in the puzzle was more of an art than a science and by
far the hardest part. I learned to text like a girl. After I mastered that
concept, I actually had to create a spreadsheet to keep track of which girl
was which... a fun problem to have."
I was laughing as I looked at how many grammatically incorrect
messages I would send on a daily basis and was amazed at how much
better the responses were: more responses, longer responses, more
optimistic responses. It was wild!"
I remember imagining what my English teacher would think of my
poor grammar skills. She had always said my usage of the English
language was interesting. I was beginning to understand her opinion..."

Its a Match!!
Once you get this alert from Tinder (and you see that you like her if
you used my matching process), the cat and mouse message game
begins... my favorite part of the whole process. I learned, you need to
initiate the conversation with the girl immediately. Tinder is a quick app. The
average girl gets a lot more guys interested in her than the average guy
gets girls interested in him, so you need to respond as soon as you are
notified she likes you while you are still on her mind. I have spoken to too
many guys busy playing it cool with girls instead of doing what I was
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doing and dating the same girls these guys were holding out on for a few
days... which turned into a few weeks... which turned into a few months...
which turned into... lets just say theyre still waiting for the girls to message
back. (On the bright side, the cool guys are still playing it cool while they
wait.)"
Sarcasm aside, there is no playing it cool on Tinder. There is no
waiting a day or two to not seem desperate. Again, this app is quick. She is
using the app NOW. She is interested in connecting NOW. If you wait a
day, she may remove the app, she may have already found someone, you
may forget to message her; there are too many things that can go wrong if
you do not message her immediately."
The game plan with meeting a girl off Tinder is to set up a time to
meet up with her, get her number to take her off Tinder, and text until the
two of you meet in person. When I followed the game plan, things worked.
When I didnt, I spent a lot of time being chatty and not seeing her in
person. Heres the plan:"
I found out that, I needed to build a level of rapport with the girl over
Tinder by being light and playful and learning a little bit about her to make
her comfortable meeting me."
I would schedule an activity the two of us could do together.
Meeting for drinks was easy, but there were plenty of other activities."
Then, I would take the conversation off Tinder by getting her
number. I saw too many hang ups with Tinder because 1) Tinder was an
app with technical issues sometimes (like freezing and crashing), and 2) it
was too easy for her to delete Tinder or miss a notification on the app that
she wouldnt miss on her phone."
After, I would build more rapport with her over text and iron out any
scheduling issues for the date."
Finally, I would confirm the date a few hours before the date started.
This ended up being a big piece of the Tinder game plan that took a
handful of missed dates to really iron out."
With that general game plan, I have had a lot of dates. Clients who
have used my advice have gone from having trouble getting numbers to
having trouble fitting so many dates in their calendar. Pay attention to the

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theory here, then get ready for an in depth breakdown of the whole system
with examples in the second half of this book."

Your First Message to Her!

At some point on every date I have with a girl I meet off Tinder, I ask
the girl about her Tinder account and take a look at the girls phone. The
most common"
messages I see guys send are Hey, Hi, Hello, and Whats up?
Even worse than these overused basic messages are the guys she has
matched in her phone that have not yet messaged her at all. Hoping the girl
messages you first is a short road to never meeting a girl off Tinder. Hey,
Hi, Hello, and Whats up? are overused; most girls will see that text
and never respond. The text is boring and generic. I learned, the first text
needs to win her attention and be fun, so... how do we start things off fun
and light without sounding too needy and invested in the conversation?"
My aimand now your aimis to be unique and fun in a short
message to grab her attention. Every time I have a match, I start to look at
the girls profile pictures to see if I know her. If I see that I know her off
Tinder, I will make a note of it too (Haha hey stranger) to break through
the initial awkwardness she may feel about letting me know she likes me
since we know each other in regular life."
Otherwise, I spend virtually no effort on getting creative on the open. I
message every other girl a standard message, either:"
Hey rockstar!
Or"
Im amazing- you ?!
And thats it. I dont get much more creative than that because I dont
need to. The purpose of the first message is to stand out in a playful way
that gets the conversation moving. The first message Hey rockstar works
because I give the girl a fun playful nickname. Who doesnt want to be
called a rockstar, right? Shell think its fun and then want to participate in
the conversation. Youll get a lot of responses back, like"
Lol rockstar? Howd you know?!
Or"
Rockstar? What does that make you?!
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And the fun clever girls will return your response with a nickname of your
own based on your profile pictures."
The second open has an even higher response rate. The reason for
this is that the open frames the interaction. Im doing a very assumptive
open. She never asked how I was, but Im saying that Im amazing. Its a
very assumptive move which gets translated as confidence to the girl.
Additionally, Im framing her to give me a positive response back. If Ive
already said Im amazing, shes more likely going to say shes feeling
similarly amazing. Its human nature to follow another persons lead. Now,
shes told me she is also amazing or some other similarly positive
descriptor, and Im more likely to have a positive exchange with her, which
makes my chances of going on a date much more likely."
There are tons of other options for first messages. Sure, creativity is
good. Whats more important is to understand what is trying to be conveyed
in the opening message. Saying, Hey is not enough. Theres nothing for
her to respond to. The message, Im amazing- you ? gets a higher
response rate partially because the message is more unique and also
because it is followed by a question mark, which prompts a response."
Any message you send needs to prompt a response; otherwise, you
should not expect an answer."
Why do I still text, Hey rockstar then?"
Because, it is still good for responses, and I like to change things up.
From a strictly statistics perspective, Im amazing- you ? should be used
every time."

The Early Tinder Conversation!

I have found that once she responds to the first message (or if she
messages me first), I stand a very good chance of getting her number and
then meeting her on the date. Quickly I learned, the first part of the
messaging is to build a little rapport or comfort with the girl. The girl will not
agree to meet you if she does not trust you. The conversation NEEDS TO
stay light and NEVER get serious or deep (this is where learning girl talk
helps). I cant even tell you how many times a meet up had potential until I
dove too deep on a subject. Suddenly, I would hit the problem of sounding
insensitive for changing the conversation while she is in the middle of
telling me deeply emotional stories or we would message so late that she
was too tired to meet or Tinder would crash... it happens a lot."
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I put things in perspective: Tinder was a free app connected to

Facebook not ChristianMingle.com; there was no time to get serious. I
switched to talk about things going on that are light and fun, like holidays
and events, what she likes to do, and thats really about it. I let her choose
the content of the conversation, then drove that conversation in the
direction I needed it to go. If her interest did not move toward my eventual
aim of meeting up with her, I changed topics. To keep things light and
playful, I did four things:"
1.
2.
3.
4.

I asked simple noninvasive questions"

I used haha and lol generously"
I did not bore her by saying a lot about me"
I texted girl- I used improper spelling and punctuation to build
rapport (Note: I did this strategically not haphazardly)"
Simple noninvasive questions are great because you do not want to
be deep and probing on Tinder. You really should not care too much about
learning about her until you are on the date. She does not want to have an
interview over Tinder. In fact, there is little to no value in ever having a real
conversation when not in person... Ask too intense of a question or too
abstract of a question early in the conversation, and you will never hear
from her again."
My standard questions are what are you up to ? and how are
you ? I usually start with what are you up to ? unless the girl responds
very positively on my first message. In cases where she shows a lot of
exclamation points or emoticons or capitalization, I can infer she is in a
good mood. Then, saying how are you ? will get a positive response, such
as Im Great!! You ?"
When convenient, its always helpful to have the girl tell you she is in
a good mood because then she will tend to stay in a good mood while
talking to you. Positive people respond positively when people message
them; hence, you are more likely to get a yes to seeing you when she has
framed herself to be positive. Every question I ask ends with a space
between the last word and the question mark. This is on purpose. A girl
taught my mentor this trick a while ago. There is a higher response rate
when you respond with the space. I do not have the psychological
breakdown behind that one. I just do it."

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After the first question, the conversation can go a number of ways. I

am careful to never dive deep on a subject. If she tells me she is having a
bad day, I do not ask why. If she tells me she is at work, I dont ask what
she does. I keep topics light unless she goes into them, and even then Im
careful not to go too far down any of these conversational threads. As Ive
learned to text girl and really honed my skills, I realize that texting girl
builds so much rapport I can set up a date by the second text. In fact, by
texting girl, I successfully number closed a girl on my first message to her.
The reason for the shallowness of the conversation is because I do not
plan to remain on any of these threads long. I just want to be
conversational enough to have her know I am a normal and sane guy, so
she will be open to meeting with me."
Occasionally, I will make statements rather than asking her a
question. The more positive she already is being, the more likely she is to
respond to a statement. The danger of making a statement is that girls do
not need to reply to a statement, so the conversation could end right there.
It is never good to double message (or double text) a girl. It shows too
much interest too early in the conversation. Double messaging displays
neediness. Stalkers double text."
To not run into the situation of needing to send a second message in
a row to get the woman to respond, I usually end statements with a
question mark. The question markeven though not grammatically correct
prompts the woman to respond and increases the likelihood of response
over a statement with no question mark."
For instance, lets say I wanted to meet her for drinks later, I could
either say Want to meet for drinks ? or Lets meet for drinks ? Even
though both sentences end with a question mark, the second will be
interpreted more like a statement than a question, so now I get the points of
being confident with a statement and the security of getting an answer with
the question mark."
Questions are safest when starting out, but statements really make
things move because then the conversation loses all feel of an interview.
You just need to be careful with the statements to make sure there is
something for her to respond to. I have plenty of examples of statements I
have used in second half of this book. Usually statements are assumptions
that you have made that she must verify rather than questions for her to
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answer. For example, instead of saying, How are you ? you can say,
Someones having a good day ? You are looking for the same information,
just in a more original style."
To let her know I am playful, I use lol and haha a lot. I also use
wow, nice, cool, omg, and just about any other light playful fun word I
can think of. I want her to feel excitement every time she reads my
messages. These are buzzwords for fun. It is very easy for her to want to
keep responding when Im Mr. Happy in her mind. Lol and haha can
almost not be used enough. I will say lol in message after message after
message (6 consecutive messages is my current record). I never get called
out for using lol too much and whenever I think Im pushing the lol button
too many times, I say haha."
Every word you ever utter to her should be positive or at worst
neutral. There is no room for negativity in your blossoming Tinder
messaging relationship with this girl (Note: with calibration you will find
times where negativity builds comfort, but do not focus on that. It is the rare
exception to the rule). Like clockwork, I will usually preface any statement I
make with any of the positive buzz words I listed above. Use of lol is
shockingly helpful to get you out of situations where the girl does not
respond positively. Just lol lets her know that whatever she said doesnt
bother you. Its a surprisingly effective way to appear nonreactive."
On a similar topic, I do not bore the girls Im talking to with information
about me. I learned, they really dont care. It may seem funny, but a girl is
more likely to meet me after seeing a picture of me doing a flying kick in a
mall in Las Vegas and getting some messages with lol at the front of each
one than me telling her my full name, family history, city of origin, and
occupation. It surprised me at first, but I learned girls really only care about
feelings. If they feel comfortable with me, they will see me. Facts about my
history can sometimes create that feeling, but fun texting and fun photos do
so a lot more frequently."
So... if they ask how Im doing, I tell them; but I keep it short and
sweet. As a rule of thumb, your answers should be shorter than theirs but
of similar magnitude. If you ask what shes up to and she lists a bunch of
things she is doing then reciprocates the question, you should reply with
what you are doing just a little less. For instance, she says, Heyy!! Not
much, just with the girls. About to go shopping then dinner!! How about
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you? You want to respond with what you are doing and actually tell her
something, like haha nice- out with friends- [insert next question/
statement] ?"
Always reward her, determine how much to answer her question, and
give her something to respond to. Never go into depth about you. She
doesnt care; she is a girl using Tinder not your mom or grandma wanting to
catch up. Keep the focus on her and what she is doing. If you are unclear
of what messages to send her, its okay. I will dig a little deeper on the
subject on the next page and give real-life examples of typical Tinder
conversations later in the book. Its a lot simpler seeing than reading."
A further note on messaging: I looked through all of my successful
Tinder conversations (Meaning they led to a date). 95% of my messages
were 3 lines or less and 80% were two lines or less. I created the 3 Line
Rule. If a message is longer than 3 lines, I probably messed something up.
There is nothing that should be communicated over messaging that should
be longer than 3 lines."
The final piece to build rapport and provide fun on the Tinder platform
will make every English teacher cringe. Its time to forget about good
punctuation, spelling, and grammar. We are not in English class anymore;
this is Tinder! Girls think I am funny because I text how they text. I dont text
seriously. Texting seriously means all of the periods are where they are
supposed to be, every sentence has a subject and verb, the right things are
capitalized. That isnt fun. A girl wants to be with someone who is carefree,
so get carefree with your texting... by following these guidelines"
The Extra Letter
Some words carry too strong of a meaning with them. For instance
when I message Wow, I dont mean What the fuck! That is amazing! but
I want to imply the idea of wow on a lesser note. For these situations, I
use an extra letter to soften the meaning."
When a girl reads the word with that extra letter, the fraction of a
fraction of a second that comes from interpreting the extra letter makes the
word hit slightly less, which is good. Save the wow for when it matters.
When you are impressed and would give a solid head nod to the girl for
something she said, say woww instead. It helps. In the same way, I turn
Hey into Heyy to make my greeting one notch less harsh. My examples
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will better breakdown the usage of extra letters. Look out for them. Use
extra letters when you are being light and playful. Use extra letters when
she is playful with you. I felt so stupid the first time I texted Heyy and
Woww and Thaats cool and Ohh noo. Now, those are standards in my
Tinder arsenal. Its the way it works."
The extra letters concept expands to some punctuation too. For
instance, two question marks make the question have a more fun and light
feel. An ellipses (...) removes a lot of impact from a sentence, so the
sentence does not hit so hard. Ellipses are also useful to prompt a
response if you make a statement and do not wish to use a question mark.
The biggest problem with ellipses is their easiness to misuse. An ellipsis
after Hmm makes the tone more fun and curious. An ellipsis after Hi
makes you creepy. I use ellipses properly in the examples to come."
So, those are all the softeners. Now, the English language is big
and girl text is vastbut I have found one major magnifying tool you can
use to amp up the message youre sending out."
Usually the extra letter softens the intensity of the word. There are
times when adding letters to the end of a word makes the statements
meaning more intense. A more intense version of lol is lolol. The extra
ol increases the impact of lol. When I have a girl that truly says
something funny or ridiculous, I type lolol. It really hits hard. Similarly, two
exclamation points together magnifies the messages intensity rather than
softens it."
The Dash
Days of the period are over. The dash is here to stay. Periods are too
harsh and final. Periods are great for business, terrible for meeting women.
Use the dash to separate thoughts. Its slightly less intense than a period.
And never end a message with a period. If it is a statement, no punctuation
is better than a period. I know. I know. Blasphemy, right? Welcome to girl
text!"
No Punctuation between Thoughts- Almost every message you send
to a girl will have 2 parts and some will have 3. A two part message has a
positive response to her statement (lol, haha, cool, etc) and a question
or statement for her to respond to. A three part message has a positive
remark, answer to her question, and question or statement for response.
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When the two parts are distinctly different, not separating the ideas is great.
You appear more casual. This is how girls think. She says, Im doing well
You say, nice what are you up to ? Theres no need for punctuation after
the word nice."
Lack of Capitalization
Aside from the first letter of the message, nothing needs to be
capitalized. Do not worry about formalities. Let your auto-correct fix
anything it feels like fixing, but you should never be hitting that
Capitalization key on your phone. Only people who take punctuation
seriously worry about capitalizing the right words. This is Tinder, not a
college thesis: on Tinder, you want to go to las vegas not Las Vegas."

Setting Up the Date!

As early as one or two messages in with girls, I start to lead the
conversation down a path to set up a date with her. This is done by talking
about activities and finding out her schedule. As much fun as you might be
having talking about whatever light conversational topic she brought up,
you need to get to the point of the conversation before she loses focus on
Tinder. Ive seen too many guys fall into the trap of enjoying the
conversation too much to push for the close. Then, questions on the guys
end come up: What do I message? Wont it be awkward to transition to
asking for a meet up? But how do I know if she likes me?"
Dont fall into that trap! Wait for the date to get into long
conversations. Dont give the conversation an opportunity to take an
awkward turn. You do that by starting on the topic you want to focus on:
Activities. One major reason one of my first questions is what are you up
to ? is because it gets her talking and thinking about activities. Sometimes
youll find out she is doing the same thing you are and your next question
can be about meeting up."
Most of the time, you will still need to push a little further to set up the
date, but at least you are moving in the right direction!! Before you set up
the date, you need to have an idea of what type of date you want to bring
her on. Off of Tinder expect to meet at a bar or coffee shop and go from
there. NEVER suggest dinner. That is way too much from a simple app and
puts too much pressure on the girl and the date."

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Usually drinks are fine. If the girl does not drink, suggest coffee or
dessert. Have a place in mind and know your availability (Note: the more
available you are, the easier it is to meet up. Its odd to me when guys try to
turn down times they are available with the girl in order to seem more busy.
These guys are just screwing up their chances!! Dont fall for it. Some girls
truly are busy, so if you are free and she is free, GO ON THE DATE
ALREADY!!)"
The questions you will ask over and over in different orders
depending on the texture of the conversation are:"
Whats your schedule like this week ? (schedule)"
What are your plans tonight ? (schedule)"
When are you free ? (schedule)"
When are you available ? (schedule)"
Want to grab a drink sometime ? (activity)"
Grab a drink sometime ? (activity)"
Want to meet up sometime ? (activity)"
Lets grab a drink ? (activity)"
The first question What are you up to ? sets you up for where to
lead the conversation. If her day sounds busy, you should not ask What
are your plans tonight ? but... if she is not doing anything, there is a higher
than average chance that she will be willing to meet you very soon. "
There are two categories of questions to set up a date. There are
scheduling questions and activity questions. You will need a positive
answer to both these questions in order to go on the date with her. You
need the answer to the activity question to be positive in order to get her
number and move the conversation off Tinder, which is the most important
part. "
I always need to have her agreement to hang out with me to move to
asking for her phone number. We dont need to agree to a time or place,
just the meet up (ex. Grab drinks later ?). If the conversation is going well
on Tinder, I try to iron out a few more details over Tinder than I would
otherwise. "
Ideally, Ill set up a time and place right then for what we are going to
do. When that is the case, the scheduling questions take a front seat.
Whats your schedule like this week ? is by far the most valuable of them
all. Once I know her availability, I pick a time that works for both of us then
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pick an activity to do. Even while Im setting up the date I make sure to
always be positive by responding with plenty of lols."
The true beauty of asking her for her schedule is she will tell you
when she is busy and when she is free. If she tells you when she is free,
now you know when to plan the date. She is much more likely to agree to
the date for two reasons:"
1. You are not scheduling at a time that conflicts with her
schedule."
2. Unconsciously she has agreed to the meet up because the
only people she tells her schedule to are people she plans to
meet up with!! So, now shes already thinking about meeting
up with you before youve even said anything about the date!"
Ive found I occasionally need to take a step back and turn to more
light conversation if the girl gives too much push back from setting up the
date. Then, after more conversation, I get back on track with setting up the
date. My example with Olivia demonstrates the dance on Tinder you need
to do between conversation and setting up the date when she does not
respond to the date suggestions right away."
When she tells me her availability, I follow up with a time and place
for the activity and confirm with her. Lets say she says, Busy today and
tomorrow. Free after 8 both days. You should respond, Cool lets [insert
activity] at [insert location] at [insert time] that work ?"
Then, you will find out whether or not it works. If she tells you her
schedule, she has unofficially agreed to the meet up. She may have
pushback to time, location, or specific activity, but a meet up will happen,
and she will usually help fix the logistics by providing alternative times,
places, or activities."
Always fix the problems she has with the date immediately and check
in again. After two pushbacks from her, take a step back and develop more
general dialogue before suggesting another alternative. Pushing any more
will make you feel needy."
Another reason for me to settle for the agreement to the activity
rather than set a specific time and place for a date to meet is when she is
not free until several days later. Any date set for four or more days out has
a high likelihood of flaking; there are too many other activities that can pop

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up in the womans life over the next few days. Also there is a lot more
rapport maintenance that will need to be done over text to keep the date."
The longer she has to think about the date, the worse your odds of
meeting her. It is very odd to meet someone in person that they met on an
app and have only messaged a handful of times... at least its not normal.
The longer the thought of the weirdness of meeting up with the guy from
Tinder runs in her head, the worse your chances to actually meet her. If she
isnt free until a few days out, I will have her agree to hanging out, get her
number, and solidify details over text. I need her off Tinder to have any
chance of the date working out."
While on the topic of date flake rate, I find that my successful dates
are generally set up within 36 hours of time of texting, meaning if it is
Tuesday morning, I am on a date with the girl by Wednesday night at the
latest for minimum flake rate. After that, dates still happen but run a higher
chance of being rescheduled. When she tells me her schedule, I pick the
earliest day that works for both of us. The sooner the better for her to
actually meet up."

Getting Her Number!

It took some failures for me to figure out the key to Tinder and
successful dates. After some trial and error, I learned the key to the entire
conversation on Tinder was to get her number. This should be your goal too
as soon as you start messaging her. You want her number as soon as
possible."
The reasons you want her number rather than continue using Tinder
are the following:"

The Tinder app crashes sometimes- It would suck for her to be

enjoying your conversation and everything to go well, and the
app crashes. Now, she finds something else to occupy her
time, she may not receive a message from you. Its a mess."
You cannot call on Tinder- While most of the conversation you
have with these girls will be in text form, there are times when
calling is much simpler. Calling can fix misunderstandings and
build comfort. Also, calling her makes it much easier to find her
once you are heading to the date. "
Tinder is based on having a good Internet connection- Im not
all that technologically knowledgeable, but I understand there
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"

are times I cannot connect to the Internetwhich stops Tinder

from workingwhile I can still receive texts and phone calls.
How bad would it be to miss out on a date because you or she
went into an area with poor connection, and you couldnt meet
up?? "
You cannot send pictures over Tinder- The ability to send
pictures can help you a lot. I have a few photos I can use in
almost every text conversation without fail, knowing they will hit
the right emotional chords with her for her to want to see me. "
She can delete her Tinder account- Imagine if you and her are
hitting it off, but for whatever reason her Tinder account
disappears. Maybe she reset her phone. Maybe she found a
new app to pass the time. Long story short, she can get rid of
the app but not her number, so you are more secure with her
number. "
Her giving you her number causes her to invest more in the
interaction- On Tinder, you are just another guy messaging her.
Once you have her number, you are the guy she gave her
number to. In her mind, she would not have given you her
number if she didnt like you. Getting the number reaffirms that
she likes you in her own mind."

So how do you get her number? About 1/3 of the time, she will give
you her number without you asking. When she does not outright give you
her number, you need a justification for why you are asking for her number
rather than continue to communicate over Tinder.
Yes, you can just ask for the number after she agrees to meet you (Hey
whats your number ?), but that is a little too direct. I realized that girls got
defensive sometimes if there was not a good reason for giving out their
number. Suddenly, the girl may think Wait a sec... This guy is slightly fun to
talk to, but am I sure I want to give him my number? What if he ends up
being weird? Why does he want my number anyway? What can he do with
my number that he cant do over Tinder?"
Suddenly, she is thinking of all the functionality that exists with a
phone number that Tinder is not capable of, and she imagines a creepy guy
who sends nude pictures, calls all the time, spams her number on
Craigslist, and worst of all she may not be able to block him like on Tinder.
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As soon as I had a reason to get her number, my success went through the
roof."
The formula is: *Positive response+ *Justification+ whats your
number ?"
The justifications you can use are infinite. Logical reasons of why you
might want her number help. Justifications I use regularly are:"
Im not on Tinder much"
Tinder gets annoying"
My Tinder is crashing "
My favorites are: Im not on Tinder much and my Tinder is crashing
with Im not on Tinder much having the best responses so far.
As long as I followed all of the steps in setting up the date correctly ahead
of time, I will always get her number from those messages."

Once You Get Her Number!

Once you get her number, you want to text her IMMEDIATELY.
Remember, Tinder is quick! I learned, the first text should follow this format:"
Hey [name of girl or nickname] its [your name] from tinder [light
question preferably about something you and her spoke about before] ?"
If you do not want to talk about anything youve already spoken
about, bring up any light simple, preferably open-ended question you have
not yet asked. This is a great time to use How are you ? or What are you
up to ? if you have not previously used them. You can also ask slight
derivations of those questions. For example instead of how are you ? ask
hows your night ? Instead of what are you up to ? ask what are your
plans later ?"

Building More Rapport!

Once you get her number, you will have to start the light playful
process again over text. She wants to feel comfortable for giving you her
number, so you build that comfort by continuing a light playful conversation
with her. Ask more open-ended questions, make sure to follow all the
previous rules I spoke about to come across as playful. The fun thing is
now you also have pictures in your arsenal to send her to get her excited to
see her."

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Pictures are good to send in response to a statement to spur a spike

in excitement if you feel conversation is lacking or you run out of questions
you want to ask her. If you have already solidified the date, you will end the
conversation after several messages back and forth. You need to message
at least twice to build enough text rapport for the day. After the second
message, wait until she gives you a response that does not prompt a reply
then leave the thread for the rest of the day. Respond if she texts you first,
but do not reinitiate conversation until the next day or several hours before
the date, whichever comes first. I found too much conversation causes
everything to depreciate."
If you have not yet solidified date plans, get back on track over text,
using the questions above for scheduling. If you get too much pushback,
pull back the conversation, have several more light messages back and
forth then leave the thread for the night. Re-engage the next day. Now that
you have her number, you can breathe a moment if things do not fall into
place right away. If she sets up a time to meet, go back to light
conversation for a few more texts until you see a point to stop for the night.
I learned this when I messaged a girl and did not text to build rapport right
after:"

"
LESSON HERE: MAKE GIRLS FEEL COMFORTABLE WITH AGREEING TO MEET YOU BY
BUILDING RAPPORT AFTER SETTING UP THE DATE.!

Confirming the Date!

If your date is just a few hours after you started your conversation,
great! Just show up. Shell be there. If the date is the next day, you need to
have another conversation with her the next day to confirm the date. Do not
assume she will just show up."
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At least 3 hours before the date, message her. Send a simple light
conversational question to get things going. How are you ? and Hows
your day ? are perfect because these questions show you are interested in
how they are doing. Based on her response, you may respond with a single
further question on that topic, but usually you can just check if the date is
still on. Remain positive and playful with rewarding her responses, then say
does *time of date] still work for you ?"
I like checking if the time of the date still works rather than if the date
is still on. Asking do you still want to meet for drinks ? screams insecure
to women and that is very unattractive. Checking that the time works is just
a cordial thing to do. When she says yes, I will usually respond with
Great see you then or sounds good to solidify the date in her mind too."
When You Should Call"
I do not have anything against calling girls. The problem is a lot of
them are busy and will not pick up. That means they will have a missed call
from me, which Id rather they not have because it makes me look slightly
needy."
Also there is an issue if the girl wants to start having a long
conversation. Over text, I can just leave a long text from her. On a call, I
look like an asshole if I cut her off when she wants to talk. Again, any
communication past the bare minimum needed to make her interested in
meeting you will hurt you later. There is a chance you will not remember
something she told you and she will get mad, and there is also a chance
that if she talks to you too long on the phone and over text, she will take
your time for granted and not settle down a time to meet you in person
because you are available to have long conversations whenever she wants
over text or phone."
I text because it is more convenient for both of us. The only time I call
is when I am having issues with solidifying a time to meet with her. Just like
the transition from Tinder to text, more rapport will need to be built on the
phone before setting up the date. Expect the first three minutes to be light
conversation where you legitimately laugh over the phone so she hears
how light-hearted you are. After she is comfortable with you and realizes
you are not dangerous, set up the date.

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Actual Tinder Conversations!

After working closely with my wings developing Tinder and after
offering even more advice on Tinder to other guys, I realize the most
difficult part about helping guys learn how to utilize Tinder is that Tinder is
dynamic. There are an infinite number of situations that can occur over
Tinder, and no book can possibly prepare someone for all of them."
To help you as much as possible, I have included actual
conversations from beginning to end that I have had with real girls. Every
single one of these conversations turned into a date. I am showing you
what worked, so you can reproduce it. There is a lot of commentary on the
side that reiterates what I spoke about earlier and some gems that are new
to the comment sections. For the privacy of the girls, I blocked their
numbers and profile pictures. Even if the commentary is too much for you,
the messaging alone should give you plenty of ideas of what you should be
messaging the girls you meet on Tinder. Below, I give a brief description of
the threads with the girls and then breakdown the whole conversation.

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Isabel!
I found out on the date that Isabel was very sarcastic (also a lot hotter
than her photo). Using lots of lols was necessary to demonstrate I was
nonreactive over Tinder. I brought up a lot of references to cool local
activities and places to go because her pictures showed me she is active in
the hip scene, so making these references built rapport."

!
TINDER 1: IN THIS PART OF THE CONVERSATION. I START A CONVERSATION. I FIND OUT SHE
IS NOT FREE THAT NIGHT, SO I GET A LITTLE MORE CONVERSATIONAL TO BUILD RAPPORT.

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!
TINDER 2: I BUILD THE CONVERSATION TO FIND OUT WHEN SHE IS AVAILABLE THEN USE A
JUSTIFICATION TO GET HER NUMBER.

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!
TEXT 1: IN THE TEXT THREAD, I START BY BUILDING RAPPORT AGAIN BEING
CONVERSATIONAL UNTIL THERE IS A NATURAL END TO THE CONVERSATION. THEN, I
CONFIRM THE NEXT DAY. SHE ASKS FOR MY FACEBOOK. THAT HAPPENS SOMETIMES, SO
HAVING A CLEAN FACEBOOK THAT PORTRAYS YOU AS COOL AND FUN AND SAFE IS
IMPORTANT. SHE SEES IM NOT WEIRD, AND WE MEET UP.

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Sonya!
Sonya is a great example of how quick everything can happen on
Tinder. She had plans to go out that night. We agreed to meet up, and I got
her number. We did not end up meeting that night. Because I had her
number, setting up a future date was very simple: a lesson to always get
the number."

!
TINDER 1: THIS IS A GREAT SIMPLE QUICK DEMO OF HOW TO GET A NUMBER OFF TINDER. IM
POSITIVE THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE THREAD. SHE RESPONDS WELL TO MY FIRST QUESTION

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ABOUT PLANS, SO SETTING UP A MEET UP IS QUICK. SHE EVEN GIVES ME HER NUMBER. ITS
VERY SIMPLE AND STRAIGHTFORWARD. WE WERE BOTH GOING TO THE SAME EVENT, SO IT
WAS AN EASY OPPORTUNITY TO CONNECT. EVEN IF WE DIDNT MEET UP THAT NIGHT (WHICH
WE DONT), I CAN GET HER NUMBER BECAUSE OF PLANS TO MEET UP, THEN RESCHEDULE.
CHANCES OF SCHEDULING A DATE INCREASE DRAMATICALLY ONCE OFF TINDER.

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!
TEXT 1: I START BY BUILDING RAPPORT, THEN THE REST IS SETTING UP A TIME TO MEET. THIS
IS A VERY STRAIGHTFORWARD TEXT THREAD FOR MEETING UP.

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!
TEXT 2: I'M FINALIZING THE DATE. A FEW HOURS BEFORE THE DATE, I AM CONFIRMING
EVERYTHING.

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Olivia!
Olivia is an example of being delicate with scheduling the date. She was new to
Tinder and having so much fun using Tinder that I had to keep pulling back the
conversation to where I wanted the direction of the conversation to go. You will see me
get off the topic of scheduling, then back on, then acknowledging what she is saying,
but pushing for the close. When I cannot solidify a time and date over Tinder, I confirm
the activity and decide to focus on the date over text. When there are issues scheduling
over text, I call her to solidify everything."

!
TINDER 1: I LEARN QUICKLY THAT THIS IS THE FIRST TIME OLIVIA HAS USED TINDER. THAT
MEANS, I AM GOING TO BE MORE LIGHT AND PLAYFUL BEFORE PUSHING FOR A MEET UP, SO
SHE FEELS COMFORTABLE. EVERYTHING AT THE START OF THE CONVERSATION IS LIGHT.

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!
TINDER 2: FURTHER RAPPORT BUILDING, GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHER. SHE IS HAVING
TOO MUCH FUN ENJOYING TINDER. IF I PRESS FOR A DATE, I DONT SEEM FUN, I SEEM PUSHY.

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!
TINDER 3: THE MAJORITY OF THIS PORTION OF THE THREAD IS THE FINE BALANCE OF
PUSHING FOR A MEET UP WHILE KEEPING THINGS LIGHT. THE PROBLEM WITH SPEAKING
BACK AND FORTH TOO MUCH CONVERSATIONALLY IS THAT THE IN-PERSON VALUE OF THE
MEET UP BEGINS TO DEPRECIATE BECAUSE THE WOMAN CAN GET AS MUCH ATTENTION AS
SHE NEEDS VIRTUALLY, SO THE LONGER I HOLD OFF SEEING HER IN PERSON, THE LOWER MY
CHANCES. THIS IS WHY I START PRESSING MORE FOR THE MEET UP.

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!
TINDER 4: I FINALLY GET HER NUMBER BY THE END OF THIS CONVERSATION. SHE IS TOO
DIFFICULT TO TIE DOWN FOR A DATE, SO I GET HER NUMBER. I WANT TO GET HER NUMBER
BECAUSE IT IS TOO EASY TO GET LOST IN THE TINDER APP, SO HAVING HER NUMBER GIVES
ME A MUCH HIGHER CHANCE OF SEEING HER. YOULL SEE I USE THE JUSTIFICATION FOR HER
NUMBER THAT I SET UP FOR MYSELF AT THE BEGINNING OF THE CONVERSATION.

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!
TEXT 1: NOW, I HAVE HER NUMBER. I TEXT IMMEDIATELY, SO SHE KNOWS WHO I AM. THEN, I
BEGIN THE PROCESS OF BUILDING RAPPORT AGAIN OVER TEXT. EVERY TIME YOU CHANGE
MEDIUM OF COMMUNICATION, YOU NEED TO BUILD MORE RAPPORT.

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!
TEXT 2: FINALLY, I SOLIDIFY A TIME TO MEET HER. FIRST, I AGREE TO A LUNCH DATE WITH
HER. THEN, I REALIZE THAT IS TROUBLE WAITING TO HAPPEN. THE EVENING GIVES ME A
BETTER LIKELIHOOD OF SLEEPING WITH HER BECAUSE SHE LIKELY HAS PLACES TO BE
AFTER LUNCH, AND I DO NOT HAVE A SEX LOCATION. I AGREED TO MEET BECAUSE SHE
FINALLY GAVE ME A TIME, BUT BECAUSE THE MEET UP WAS NOT ON MY TERMS AND LEAD
WHERE I WANTED IT TO GO, I PULLED BACK. THEN, I CALLED HER AFTER SEVERAL TEXTS TO
SOLIDIFY THINGS. THERE WAS TOO MUCH NOT HAPPENING OVER TEXT, SO I DECIDED TO
GIVE HER A CALL. AFTER A FEW MINUTES OF BUILDING RAPPORT AND GETTING TO KNOW
EACH OTHER, SHE AGREED TO MEET ME. I WAS THE FIRST GUY SHE MET OFF TINDER, SO
THIS WAS ONE REASON FOR THE ADDED EFFORT NECESSARY TO GET THINGS MOVING.

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Britt!
Britt is an example of a friend of a friend. Id never met her prior to the date, but
we had mutual friends. That is always a benefit because it builds rapport. It also gave
me an idea of conversation to bring up with her, such as partying because the friends
we have in common party a lot. There were some scheduling issues in the end, so she
called me to sort things out and we met up."

!
TINDER 1: THIS FIRST PART TURNS INTO BUILDING RAPPORT BY BEING CONVERSATIONAL
BEFORE I GO FOR THE CLOSE. I AM FUN AND LIGHT. I DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS AS MUCH AS I
USUALLY WOULD BECAUSE SHE QUALIFIED A LOT RIGHT AWAY.

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!
TINDER 2: THE REST OF THE CONVERSATION IS ME SETTING UP THE MEET UP AND GETTING
HER NUMBER. IN THIS CASE, SHE JUST GIVES IT TO ME. THAT WILL HAPPEN ABOUT 30% OF
THE TIME.

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!
TEXT 1: AFTER TINDER, I MOVE TO TEXT. EVERY TIME YOU MOVE FROM TINDER TO TEXT AND
TEXT TO PERSON, YOU NEED TO TAKE A STEP BACK AND BUILD MORE RAPPORT BEFORE
MOVING FORWARD WITH LOGISTICS. I'VE ALREADY DONE EVERYTHING I'VE NEEDED TO DO
OVER TINDER TO SOLIDIFY THE MEET UP UNTIL I CONFIRM ON FRIDAY. I NEED TO TEXT HER,
SO SHE HAS MY NUMBER AND DOES NOT GET CONFUSED WHEN A RANDOM NUMBER
MESSAGES HER THE NEXT DAY. I KEEP CONVERSATION LIGHT AND WAIT UNTIL THERE HAS
BEEN ENOUGH BACK AND FORTH TO END THE CONVERSATION UNTIL THE NEXT DAY.

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!
TEXT 2: THE FIRST TEXT AT THE TOP ENDS OUT CONVERSATION THAT NIGHT. FRIDAY, I START
THE CONVERSATION AGAIN OVER TEXT. I OVERSLEPT, SO I SCREWED UP AND NEVER
SOLIDIFIED PLANS FOR THAT NIGHT. DONT DO THIS! NOW, IM IN A RECOVERY SITUATION. I'M
SHOOTING FOR A MEET UP EITHER THAT SAME NIGHT OR SATURDAY. AFTER THE LAST TEXT,
WE HAVE A 3 MINUTE PHONE CALL TO CONFIRM EVERYTHING. SHE HAD PLANS LATER THAT
NIGHT BUT WAS FREE TO MEET EARLIER. GENERALLY, I DO NOT LIKE TO GO OUT WITH A GIRL
IF I KNOW SHE IS GOING TO HAVE PLANS LATER THAN NIGHT BECAUSE THE LIKELIHOOD OF
HER ENDING UP BACK AT MY PLACE DECREASES DRAMATICALLY. IN THIS CASE, I WAS BUSY
THE NEXT FEW NIGHTS; PLUS I SCREWED UP MY CHANCES BY NOT FOLLOWING UP WITH HER
EARLIER IN THE DAY TO CONFIRM. I TOOK THE DATE EVEN THOUGH THE LIKELIHOOD OF A
HOOK UP WAS LESS BECAUSE SHE MAY NOT HAVE BEEN INTERESTED IN SEEING ME IF I
BLEW HER OFF TWICE ALREADY.

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Mary!
I actually knew Mary before our date. That will happen. Girls can get
uncomfortable when they realize that the person they know now knows she likes him,
even though the feeling is mutual. The best approach is to be light and playful to have
everything work out."

!
TINDER 1: THE CONVERSATION IS VERY LIGHT AND QUICKLY MOVES TO TEXT. I ALREADY
HAVE GOOD RAPPORT WITH HER. I WAS A LITTLE CARELESS WITH SEVERAL MESSAGES I
WROTE.

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!
TEXT 1: I'M VERY CONVERSATIONAL AT THE START OF THIS TEXT. USUALLY I SCHEDULE THE
DATE SOONER, BUT I DID NOT GET A SPECIFIC DAY SHE WAS FREE, SO I WAS MORE LIGHT
BEFORE CONFIRMING THE DATE. PLUS, IT WAS THURSDAY MORNING, AND THE DATE WOULD
NOT HAPPEN UNTIL FRIDAY NIGHT AT THE EARLIEST, SO I WAS IN NO HURRY TO FINALIZE THE
DATE. I LIKE 24 HOURS TO BE ABOUT THE MAXIMUM AMOUNT OF TIME FROM PLANNING THE
DATE TO GOING ON THE DATE. ANY FURTHER OUT THAN THAT, AND THE GIRLS SCHEDULE
CAN CHANGE TOO QUICKLY.

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!
TEXT 2: COMPLETE CONTRAST FROM THE LAST MESSAGE, THIS WHOLE PORTION OF THE
THREAD IS ABOUT MAKING THE DATE HAPPEN.

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Conclusion!
You have all of the information you need to set up successful dates
with Tinder. Follow the advice I give, and all you will have to worry about is
what to wear. Because the conversation over Tinder and text was light and
playful, the girl will be in a great mood when she comes to meet you."
Remember to check Tinder at least once a day to see if anyone new
is in the area. Update your profile pictures every time you have another
cool, attractive photo to post on your profile. If you ever have questions,
feel free to message me at cdharders@gmail.com and go to
conquerdatingapps.com/bonuses to get access to exclusive content to give
you even more success with Tinder."

"

Good Luck!!"

"

Chris Harders

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