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No one should be forced to worship in a way that he finds unacceptable or be made to choose between his
beliefs and his family. Awake July 2009 p.28, 29

How do I begin a letter that is essentially a reply to my father whom I havent physically spoken
to in a long time and has become somewhat of a stranger to me? A stranger who writes me two
letters and doesnt ask once how I am, what Ive been up to, or how my family is? Yet, also in his
letters, claims that he loves mebut, only if I come around to his belief system or he will never speak
to me again (giving me an ultimatum)? Its actually quite mind boggling that I even have to write a
response on a subject of this magnitude to my own flesh and blood. My response wont even come
close to saying everything Id like it to say. In fact, it wont even touch the surface, but like many
others who have been prompted to send a response/letter like this to friends or family members; I
guess its my turn.
Before I start some of my main thoughts, I first want to say that I truly love you. I know you think that I
have a heck of a way of showing it, but I do. Even though weve been somewhat at odds lately (due to
religion), I will love you always. You consistently provided the love, support, and things I wanted
and/or needed when I was growing up. I cant thank you enough for all of your love, care, and
generosity during my childhood and some of my adult years.
__________________
During my childhood, as you know, I was born into a family who was active in the Jehovahs
Witness organization. You were an elder during some of my younger childhood years, and mom fulltime pioneered off and on when it was, I believe, a ninety hour a month quota. I grew up being taught
all of the societys teachings and doctrines, and knew absolutely nothing else. I was told it was the
truth, and believed it was the truth. Throughout my adolescence, I knocked on doors probably a little
more than the average Jehovahs Witness child, due to mom being a full-time pioneer. I also attended
meetings regularly, gave talks, carried microphones, worked on the Kingdom Hall lawn (many times),
helped at quick-builds, and was involved in other various witness activities.
When I got out on my own and married at a young age, I no longer had someone making sure
that I made my door-to-door quota, studied my articles, or went to the meetings. It was very easy as a
newly married young couple to basically be lazy and simply not go. To be honest, even though my wife

and I believed, we were young and would rather stay home on meeting nights, because meetings to us
were boring, repetitious, and I especially felt like nothing new was being learned. It felt like I was stuck
sitting in a movie theater watching the same movie, with the same topics being repeated, over and
over and over again. It was all like a broken record to me. When my wife and I did attend, we were
typically the ones arriving late. We were not doing anything majorly wrong, we were just not strong
attenders like we once were, and our door-to-door time was almost completely non-existent.
With that backstory summed up kind of quickly, it brings me up to your letter(s). I cant help
but notice in the letter(s) youve written to me that you still think the reason I started questioning
things is because of my father-in-law. I want to put this way of thinking, or rumor to rest. In no way
whatsoever did he have any persuasion on why I started questioning and researching Jehovahs
Witness doctrine. He only asked on one occasion about one scripture (Exodus 4:24) because he
thought it was peculiar, and this very brief conversation was after Id already started to question some
of the witnesses teachings (which he did not know at the time). Weve already had this discussion
before dad. In fact, I believe mom was even in on that one. Not to mention, Ive put the question on
Exodus 4:24 aside a long time ago.
So instead of assuming (if you were) that others (my wife, father-in-law, etc.) are the reason I
started questioning things, you should know the true defining moment when my examination of
Witness teachings/doctrine began:
Im 36 now, my story starts when I was 29 years old. I had to fly out to Las Vegas for a 3-night stay and
work a tradeshow for the job I had at that time. One of those nights, I went out for dinner and drinks
with some of my coworkers. As the night went on, after my coworkers and I ate dinner and then
consumed some alcoholic beverages, some of my coworkers decided that they wanted go to a strip
club. While almost everyone said they wanted to go, I kept quiet. One coworker noticed that I was
being quiet about it. Later, everyone but him left our dinner table to grab more drinks from the bar
before getting ready to taxi off to the strip club. The coworker that stayed behind asked again if I was
going along. I told him that I couldnt make the trip and probably would just head back to my room. He
gave it another go and said something like, Come on, itll be fun. I again said that I was going to have
to pass, but he kept ribbing me so I finally laid my cards on the table. I told him that I was a Jehovahs
Witness and the place we were at already was somewhat pushing the limits for me, and if I went (to

the strip club), not only would I be hurting my reputation as a JW, but also I jokingly explained that my
wife would also probably kill me or divorce me if she ever found out that I went to a strip club.
To my surprise, he stopped ribbing me and took the conversation somewhere I wouldve never
guessed it would go. He told me that he never knew I was a Jehovahs Witness, and he went on to say
that when he was a kid his best friend converted into being a Jehovahs Witness. They grew up and
hung out together from kindergarten until their late teen years. Then, all of a sudden his best friend
completely stopped talking to him, wouldnt accept his calls, and barely waved to him when he was
outside. He had no idea what he had done and it finally bothered him so much that he approached his
best friend to ask him why he would no longer hang out with him. His friend explained that he was
now a Jehovahs Witness and was busy devoting himself to Jehovah. When my co-worker tried to get
more information, the friend offered up the worldy term without really explaining himself. His friend
told him that if he decided to study to become a Jehovahs Witness too that he could still associate
with him. My co-worker explained to me that he never really understood that reasoning, and it
bothered him so much that later in life, when he had matured, he did some research on Jehovahs
Witnesses, but didnt go on to tell me where his examination took him. What he did do, was ask me
one simple question in a kind, awkward, yet non-judgmental way. He simply asked, Have you ever
researched the roots or history of your religion? Even though I was slightly on the defense at this
point, I had to honestly tell him I had never researched it. He replied something to the tune of, I
understand that you dont want to go to the club, its probably better that you arent hungover like the
rest of us will probably be tomorrow.
That was it. He didnt say one more thing about the history, about me being a Jehovahs
Witness, or try to get me to go to the strip club again. He just left that one simple, yet valid question in
my mind about my religions foundation, but didnt say if what he researched was good or bad. That
night, I grabbed a taxi and went to my hotel room to sleep, but that question lingered. I wondered to
myself, What is he talking about? Finally, a couple of weeks later on a slow day at work, and against
everything I was warned about from the platform, I fired up Google and YouTube to do some initial
minor investigating. I was nervous, like Satan was watching me, I felt like a lightning bolt from Jehovah
was going to come crashing out of the sky to get me. What was I doing researching The Truth? I

almost felt sick to my stomach because of how nervous I was when pulling up websites on the topic. I
was going against everything I was ever told, to see what my co-worker was talking about.
What I noticed first was that no matter where I looked I kept seeing pyramids in old society
books with titles, diagrams, charts, and dates. Even the pictures of Charles Taze Russells grave
marker, which I discovered to be a nine foot tall Pyramid. I found this information along with many
links on Jehovahs Witnesses and major connections to pyramidology. I had absolutely no idea what
pyramidology was, and honestly thought it was all a complete fabrication/huge apostate lieat that
time.
I also started reading internet forums and noticed a lot of people were mentioning former
governing body member Ray Franzs book (Crisis of Conscience). I decided to read the book, which was
about the time Ray Franz spent as a governing body member (nine years), and what goes on behind
closed doors on the top floor at Bethel. How the governing body addresses/researches matters (voting
within themselves) and why his conscience would no longer let him stay silent on some atrocious
matters he witnessed, which was majorly why he was no longer a Jehovahs Witness.
For the next couple of months or so, I visited multiple libraries, downloaded old
Watchtower/Awake magazines, accessed court documents on microfilm, visited various justifiable
websites, etc. I also gathered a complete set of every Watchtower publication dating back from 1879
to present day. Doing this, I also used the Societies discs and also attained Awakes that are no longer
available on disc or JW.org even now. Every time I could get my hands on a hard copy I would because
they are factual and from the period. I even sat in the back of Kingdom Halls and used some of the
older reference books (Studies in the Scriptures, etc.) that were still on their shelves.
During this time, I also decided to commit myself to reading every page of the bible (New World
Translation) meaningfully, and in order. After I read the bible in its entirety, I also attempted again and
listened to the entire bible (KJV) via audiobook.
All of this research started with the intention of proving to me that the apostate information
was lies and also solidify my belief in the bible. When I started this research, I was still attending
meetings, but majorly starting to doubt and question things. Skipping ahead, after more than a year of
major research, so much so that it actually started taking a toll on my family life, I put my cognitive

dissonance aside and let it truly sink in that almost every single thing I sought to disprove about these
apostate lies I was reading, was actually true.
Im not going to waste my time listing all of Watchtowers craziness, cover-ups, intentional
misquotes, twists, turns, predictions, and lies that were happening 100+ years ago, with many still
happening today. Its a LOT of real research (Im not a moron that does random searches and believes
everything on the internetI do real fact checking), and you would never believe it unless you did the
research for yourself.
I just want to ask you a couple rhetorical questions on the subject of researching ones religion.
Lets say you are in field service and started a discussion with someone at a door, and the householder
told you that their church leader(s) teach that they are spirit-directed and God communicates ONLY
through them, and they know that they have the true religion/truth. Would you tell them to question
or research that religion or its leader(s)? If you did ask the householder to research what their church
leader(s) were claiming, do you think it would be ok if they researched using materials that are only
written by those church leader(s) who tell them that looking at materials other than what they wrote is
forbidden?
I believe there is a reason the men (governing body) in charge of the Jehovahs Witness religion
hate when someone does outside research on them, their doctrines, and their past using any materials
they havent written or approved. Why would that be? They say because it is the works of Satan, filthy
apostate lies, and lies designed to crush your faith in Jehovahs organization, etc. etc. I truly believe
that the main reason is because they know the intricate details about the organization are out there to
be found, and those findings will shatter the organization to pieces if they are discovered, drastically
reducing its membership.
So, these men proclaiming to be spirit directed by God, came up with something that can
silence anyone who questions them or their teachings/doctrine: Disfellowshipping/Shunning.
By disfellowshipping/shunning a person, one who has simply researched and chooses to no
longer attend meetings, the men at the top, know the person(s) family and friends will throw them
away like garbage, literally over night with one single sentence from the churchs platform, or a talk
from an assembly saying to stay away from disfellowshipped/disassociated/inactive ones. Its an
immediate remedy to keeping factual research at bay, and a way to immediately silence any

critic/doubter. The sad part is it works. Family members and friends, thinking they are doing the right
thing, will never speak to that person again unless they play by Watchtower/governing body rules and
never question, or say anything that disagrees with the those men that made this rule.
Heres the thing, the person who gets disfellowshipped from the platform never gets to address
with their friends why theyve been disfellowshipped/shunned and are forced to leave/walk away with
absolutely no dignity intact.

Then rumors take off like wildfire, and before long, ridiculously

outrageous false rumors start.

Present Day (8/4/16)
Although Ive probably been inactive for six plus years, its been roughly five years since I
believed that the Jehovahs Witness religion is spirit directed, and know the truth. My wife and I have
been loyal to each other for the entirety of our seventeen years of marriage (this is not to put anyone
down, but ask MANY of my former Jehovahs Witness friends about their past/present marriages). Our
children are taught values and to be respectful of all others. Are we perfect? No. Do we strive to have
a good moral sense, and do we do our best to try and instill them in our children? Absolutely.
Moving on, I understand that you and the rest of my birth family will probably never make
another attempt to speak to me againI know how this works (Im now evil and dead to you already).
Ive seen this happen to others in my situation. Im deeply saddened by this and hope Im wrong. Im
sure that youll obey the governing body without doing any research and take these men at their word
before your sons. Then, Ill eventually be forgotten and Ill be lumped in the Armageddon garbage bin
of your mind where you threw away all the other ones that walked away before me.
But since you wont talk to me again, I want to address the situation with our children. Holly
and I both dont enjoy keeping our children from having their grandparents in their lives. In all
honesty, we know that you and mom are deep-down, good-hearted, and love you both. The reason Ill
no longer let our children associate with you is because my family is not a package deal. With my
family you get all of us or nothing, and you made your choice clear when you decided to shun me for
simply researching the organization and not respecting my personal decision to no longer believe what
you believe.
I also would like to request something that you may or may not do, but I thought I might as well
ask. I dont have any pictures of you, mom, my brothers, sister, or any of myself from childhood.

Again, Im not expecting you to fulfill this request, but it would be nice to have some pictures so my
children or hopefully someday grandchildren, will know that at one time when I was young, I did have a
mom, dad, brothers and sister in my life. If you did decide to comply, you could mail them. I could
either keep them, or make copies and send them back.
Last but not least, I want you to know that the love for my family is not conditional. Im not
shunning you. Youve chosen to shun me. Even though I dont agree with your stance, I would like to
extend my love until the day I die. Although your door is closed, my door will always be open to any
family that wants to visit or who is in any kind of need. I also would not deliberately miss things like
weddings, family events, hospital mishaps, tragedies, or funerals unless I wasnt notified, or you did not
want me to comewhich, I will automatically assume unless being notified. Im not a person that
would disrespect anyone at a funeral or other function and would only be there to show that I care.
Also, I will probably change my phone number in the near future. If you or any other family
member would ever need to contact me for any reason, I set up an email address. I probably wont
check it often, but I will occasionally check it. I set it up for personal contact for whatever the case may
be. It is ##################.

I love you Dad. I really do.

I wish you and the rest of my family members regardless of what they believe, nothing but the best.