WhatAmI PDF

WHAT AM I?
Or,
The Nature of Existence
a subjective experience
limited by language
as interpreted by
a human being
in a space-time universe
within a binary reality
by the name of
Alasdair Forsythe
What Am I? Or, The Nature of Existence

by Alasdair Forsythe
ISBN 978-1-334-99903-1
Published by Passageway Press
An Imprint of FB &c Ltd. London.
First Edition
First Printing 2016
www.PassagewayPress.com
Copyright 2016 Alasdair Forsythe

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and more information
visit the authors website:
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Contents
Existence exists only by comparison......................................................................... 1
Everything is subjective ................................................................................................... 2
Interpretation ........................................................................................................................ 3
What is truth? ........................................................................................................................ 4
What is beauty? .................................................................................................................... 6
You only understand what you want to................................................................... 7
To intellectualize is not to understand..................................................................... 9
Take everything to extremes ...................................................................................... 10
Where does knowledge come from? ...................................................................... 11
The nature of emotions ................................................................................................. 13
Honesty .................................................................................................................................. 14
The nature of good and bad ........................................................................................ 15
Everything is a shortcut ................................................................................................ 17
All secrets are hidden in plain sight ........................................................................ 18
Every question is the same question ...................................................................... 19
One consciousness ........................................................................................................... 20
Questions and answers.................................................................................................. 23
The beginning of creation ............................................................................................ 25
Continued creation .......................................................................................................... 27
Expanded creation ........................................................................................................... 31
Knowing by forgetting ................................................................................................... 33
How not existence works ............................................................................................. 37
Everything is resistance ................................................................................................ 39
Time and space .................................................................................................................. 42
How and why mathematics exists ........................................................................... 44
Universes in universes ................................................................................................... 45
Subjective reality is independent ............................................................................. 48
Change is change............................................................................................................... 50
The nature of Self.............................................................................................................. 52

What is ego? ........................................................................................................................ 58
There is no separation between physical and spiritual................................ 59
The path of least resistance......................................................................................... 62
What is evil? ........................................................................................................................ 65
The opposite of evil ......................................................................................................... 68
Everything has purpose and reason ....................................................................... 69
The meaning of life .......................................................................................................... 71
Do we have free will? ...................................................................................................... 76
What happens when we die? ...................................................................................... 79
What are dreams? ............................................................................................................ 82
What is karma? .................................................................................................................. 84
What is acceptance? ........................................................................................................ 87
Memory is not your friend ........................................................................................... 88
Everything is transient .................................................................................................. 89
What is meditation? ........................................................................................................ 90
What are lower and higher states of consciousness? .................................... 91
What is enlightenment? ................................................................................................ 92
How to perform a miracle ............................................................................................ 96
The theory of magic ......................................................................................................... 97
Everything is life ............................................................................................................... 99
Why women have been historically oppressed ..............................................101
Why not commit suicide? ...........................................................................................103
The answer to all questions ......................................................................................104
Coming home ....................................................................................................................108
Why a new path? .............................................................................................................114
Nothing can ever be known entirely ....................................................................116
The purpose of existence ............................................................................................119
Beyond enlightenment ................................................................................................121
A final note on interpretation ..................................................................................127
What am I?
Existence exists only by comparison

One knows white
Only by black;
One knows love
Only by heartbreak;
One knows truth
Only by untruth;
Does any concept exist independently?
Can you know something only by itself?
Without fear
Would there be courage?
Without hard
Would you know soft?
How deep is a hole?
How tall is a tree?
Does a blind man know darkness?
Does a fish know water?
Happiness is to rise from depression;
Love is to return to what was once lost;
Would you know depression
Had you never been happy?
Would you know love
Had you never been rejected?
Would you know anger
Had you never been calm?
A concept exists only in contrast
To what it is not;
An experience can be known only
By comparison;
What am I?
Everything is subjective
If I experience rain and you experience rain,
Is it raining?
What is rain without a subject?
Is rain wet without a feeler?
Are clouds dark without a seer?
Is there sound without a hearer?
What is the experience of?
If I am senseless, blind and deaf,
Is it still raining?
Where is it raining?
Outside of you?
Have you been outside of you to check its there?
If one million people all agree its raining,
Does that prove it is raining?
Or that one million people are all experiencing rain?
If you collect rainwater and measure it,
Who is doing the measuring?
If you look at it under a microscope,
Who is doing the looking?
If we are unable to separate the rain from ourselves,
If we are unable to experience it without ourselves,
If we say it must externally exist
As a prerequisite to experience,
Objectively, not subjectively,
Can we prove that?
And if we believe rain does exist without us,
And yet we are unable to experience it
Without ourselves,
What is it that you think you know?
You have never experienced objectivity,
How do you know what objectivity is
Without ever having experienced it?
Are you an emperor with new clothes?
Is the cat in the box dead or alive,
Until you open it?
What am I?
Interpretation
If experience can be known only by comparison
Then experience can only be known
In contrast to what is already known;
If you knew only happiness
And a happy event occurred,
You would be neither happy nor sad,
You would not know the event happened at all;
But if an event without happiness occurred
Then you would know both unhappiness and happiness at once;
If the event were comparatively less happy,
You would be unhappy;
Yet if another person was less happy than the event,
The same event would be happy
For them;
If all life is like this,
And all experience is in this manner,
One person can be oblivious,
Another ecstatic,
Another angry,
Another sad,
About the same thing;
And if all experience is subjective
Then who is to say who is more reasonable?
If all experience is subjective
There is no right or wrong interpretation;
The event itself has no objective existence,
It exists as a different event for each witness,
And for some
Not existing at all;
If nothing can be proven to exist outside of experience,
Each experiencer lives in a different reality;
Our realities interact,
But they are not
The same place;
We do not both live
On the same Earth;
What am I?
What is truth?
If all we can ever know is via experience
And truth existed outside of experience
Then there would be no truth;
A truth outside of existence does not exist,
Hence it could not be true;
Therefore truth must be tied to experience;
This is why truth is so difficult to find,
Because you are looking for it outside of yourself,
But you cannot see outside of yourself,
Whenever you try you always find yourself there;
If existence is a continuous stream of experience
Then the only consistent truth
Is the experience
Of experiencing;
And all other truths come and go as experiences come and go;
So truth is synonymous with experience;
Yet if truth is synonymous with experience
And we cannot experience not experiencing,
How do we know truth?
Without having known untruth?
This is the nature of truth:
We dont know truth,
We never can know truth,
Because we have never experienced
Anything untrue;
Youve never found truth because
All your experience is true;
You have no idea
What you are looking for,
And so you will never find it;
What you think of as truth is belief;
Belief is a pattern of subjective experience
That you have accepted as a substitute for truth;
You think a belief which failed to predict the future is untruth,
But that is not untruth,
Its contrast between experience and imagination;
What am I?
Imagination itself also being an experience;

So a false belief is a contrast between two experiences,
Both of which happened,
Theyre just not interpreted
In the same way;
Beliefs may successfully predict experience
For a time,
Or not at all;
But all eventually dissolve;
Because everything comes and goes,
Except the experience of experiencing;
But that one truth you will never understand
Because you will never experience
Not experiencing;
And this is why creation is infinite,
Because we can experience
An infinity of truth,
And never know it;
Yet we have it
Nonetheless;
What am I?
What is beauty?
Art is a symbol
Or an expression
Of a principle
That cannot be sufficiently expressed
In language;
All being have desires;
When you experience something
That brings you closer
To your desire,
Whatever that may be,
You have seen something
That speaks to you,
Something that tells you
What it is you want to know;
This symbol
Is beautiful
Because it represents something
That you desire;
Because all experience is subjective,
Beauty is subjective;
No one will ever see it
The same way that you do;
It is for you alone;
And that too
Is beautiful;
Because all experience is true
That means anything
Can be beautiful
To someone;
Follow beauty,
Because the only reason
It is beautiful
Is because
It is what
You want;
What am I?
You only understand what you want to

There is a saying:
You can lead a horse to water
But you cant make it drink;
One can only understand
What one wants to understand;
One will only see
What one expects to see;
All experience
Is an interpretation;
If you are upset,
A joke is not funny;
And if the joke is funny,
You are no longer upset;
Likewise if you are depressed:
The sun is burning,
The sea is destructive,
The world is cruel;
Yet if you are happy:
The sun is nourishing,
The sea is refreshing,
The world is joyous;
If you believe
That life is cruel
And I show you
How life is beautiful,
You will not believe me,
It will pass over you;
Yet if I show you that
Life is even crueler than you thought,
Then you will believe me
Without question;
Because you want to be unhappy;
If you did not want to be unhappy,
You would not be;
You believe what you want to believe;
You believe what you need to be believe;
And why not?
What am I?
Everything is true;
The funny thing is
That you are not wrong;
If you are unhappy
It is because you want to be,
And so the solution
Is not to cheer up,
It is to follow your desire to the end;
Then you will get what you want,
And when you get what you want
You no longer want it,
And it will go away;
Hence by following unhappiness
To its end,
You will know happiness;
All ends
Are beginnings;
Whereas refusing to accept
What you are feeling
Is refusing to accept
The truth,
Because all experience is true;
And so you will forever be confused,
Until you accept
The truth of your experience:
That the sun is burning,
That the sea is destructive,
That the world is cruel;
When you accept this
You will know it
And you will own it,
And by owning it
You will no longer desire it;
Then you will know
What happiness is;
The sun will be nourishing,
The sea will be refreshing,
The world will be joyous;
Because the world is you;
What am I?
To intellectualize is not to understand

To understand something intellectually
Is not to understand anything;
There are infinite possibilities;
When you try to analyze anything,
You are without exception
Always wrong;
If you hear a sound outside:
Perhaps a bird,
Perhaps a bug,
Why analyze?
What difference does it make?
You either know it without thinking,
Or you dont;
Your analysis doesnt change
The sound you heard,
Your analysis doesnt change
The experience you had,
It only distracts you
From it;
Why judge other people?
You have no idea,
You would have to live their entire life as them
To understand;
To read a book on science or history,
What does it teach you?
Do you mistake the map
For the territory?
Do you think you know something
Because you read about it?
Do you know what electricity is?
Do you think if someone read
A travel guide about your home town
That they would know what its like
To live there?
10
What am I?
Take everything to extremes

If you want to know something:
How you feel,
What you know,
What you want,
Then you must consider
The extremes;
It is within extremes
And because of extremes
That you know
Where you are,
Because nothing exists
Except in relation to
Everything else;
If you want to know how you feel about someone
Imagine how you would feel
If you never saw them again;
Or if you were handcuffed together for life;
If they told you they hate you more than anything,
Or loved you more than life itself;
How would you feel?
Likewise, if you desire to know happiness,
Begin by knowing unhappiness
Because otherwise
You will not know happiness even if it comes,
And even if you obtain happiness,
You will be so scared of losing it
You will not be able to enjoy it;
And if you want knowledge,
Forget everything,
And dont learn anything new;
Then when knowledge comes,
You will see it coming
And know it for what it is;
What am I?
Where does knowledge come from?

Our experiences only exist
In comparison to,
And in contrast with,
All of our previous experience;
Where does experience come from?
It should be obvious
That we dont have to do anything
To experience;
In fact,
We cant stop experiencing;
And even if we could,
We wouldnt know it
Because one cannot experience
Not experiencing;
Hence experience just is;
What about knowledge?
Knowledge is an experience:
An experience of knowledge,
An experience of knowing,
It is the same;
If you think back
(Have the experience of remembering)
To when you had an idea,
Where did it come from?
Did you work it out from root principles?
Did you count, multiply, subtract and divide?
Or were you doing something else?
Perhaps taking a bath?
Or a walk?
Or just sitting around?
And then
It was there?
If knowledge is an experience
And it just comes by itself,
Like experience does
11
12
What am I?
Then it follows that

Knowledge comes from
The same place
As experience:
From nowhere;
Otherwise
How would we know anything
When everything is only
An interpretation
In contrast
To what went before?
In this case,
If you stop distracting yourself
And just sit quietly,
And listen carefully,
And patiently,
You might have the experience
Of all kinds of things
That you didnt know you knew;
What am I?
The nature of emotions

Emotions work
In the same way
As everything else;
They are an experience,
An answer to a question,
Fueled by desire,
Fed by fetishism;
If you wish
To have more of an emotion
A good way to do so
Is to explore
What the emotion is not;
Because then
There will be greater contrast
And your experience
Will be more complete;
If you wish
To overcome an emotion
The only way
Is to express,
Allow yourself to feel it
And explore its depths;
When you know it fully,
You will no longer need it,
You will no longer desire it,
You will no longer ask for it,
And it will be gone;
Life is experience,
If you deny an experience,
If you deny your feelings,
You increase your debt;
You owe yourself the feeling;
The piper must be paid,
Or he will take it
From your dreams;
13
14
What am I?
Honesty
Your belief in yourself
Is based on your witnessing
Of your actions
And reactions;
To lie to another
Is to lie to yourself;
Man walks this Earth
Wearing a mask,
He hides his Self
And presents a mask to the world
Of what he believes the world
Expects of him;
What he is really doing
Is rejecting
Himself,
Why then is he surprised
When others
Reject him too?
They followed
His lead,
He is asking
To be rejected;
He does not even
Believe in himself,
Why would another
Believe in him?
Nobody likes another
Who is fake,
Everybody likes another
Who is passionate,
Who is true,
Who is honest;
Start by being honest
With yourself,
All the rest
Will follow;
What am I?
The nature of good and bad

Good does not exist
Except in relation to bad;
People say pain is bad,
But is pain bad?
People say fear is bad,
But is fear bad?
If it were,
Why are there horror movies?
Why do people jump from airplanes?
They say:
That was terrifying
And awesome!
An experience cannot be inherently good or bad;
Bad is the desire to change something;
There are two forms of bad:
Distress is the desire to stop an experience,
Boredom is the desire to enhance an experience,
Both are the same;
They are bad only because
You desire to change something;
Bad is the desire for change;
If you are bored it is because you desire boredom,
If you are distressed it is because you desire distress;
The more you want something to change,
The more distressed you become;
The more distressed you become,
The more you want it to change;
You are obsessed:
Obsessed with distress,
Obsessed with change;
It is a fetish;
You want it,
You desire it,
You create it,
You prolong it;
15
16
What am I?
For as long as you care about distress,

For as long as you care about boredom,
You feed the desire;
The more you struggle,
The more you tell it to change,
The more you try to ignore it,
Then the more you prove you care,
The more you fetishize it
And the stronger it will be;
There is only one way to escape desire:
To have the experience,
To satisfy your hunger,
To follow it to the end;
When you feel bored or distressed,
Focus on the most outer feeling,
Not what it happening,
The desire to change what is happening;
Allow yourself to feel it,
Admit to yourself that you desire change,
Follow that feeling to where it takes you;
Face it,
Feel it,
Know it,
Accept it,
Own it;
You can make yourself bored,
Why not?
It is better to search for bad and conquer it
Than search for good and lose it;
Once accepted:
You will know bad,
You will own bad,
You will no longer be obsessed;
Bad will never touch you again;
What am I?
Everything is a shortcut
Humans use shortcuts for everything;
This is because to answer a question
Would be impossible,
If you actually attempted to do it;
We could not function at all
If we stopped to think deeply
About everything;
If I asked you
How are you?
How would you answer this?
Would you analyze your day?
Would you come up with a formula
For assessing good vs. bad?
Would you ask me what I meant?
What aspect of the day I was referring to?
Does it include the time you were asleep?
Which part of you is the you referring to?
We dont really answer questions
Because they are unanswerable;
Instead we have predefined responses
That are culturally accepted
And we are taught them;
The questions are just for fun,
We dont really mean them;
The same applies to everything else,
There does not appear to be an end
To anything;
There are no maximums,
There are no endings;
A story can always have more sequels,
An emotion can always have greater extremes;
At some point we just decide
That enough is enough
And we dont look any deeper;
But what if we did?
17
18
What am I?
All secrets are hidden in plain sight

The best place to hide a tree is in a forest;
Can you imagine a fish looking for water?
The fish would never find it;
And so,
Man looks for answers
That are so obvious
That he walks right past them
Every moment;
He looks but does not see,
He listens but does not hear;
The book of life
Contains all the answers
And you are reading from it
Every moment of every day;
But just because
You looked in the wrong places,
Thinking the secrets will be well hidden,
So you were looking for a tree
By digging a hole in the forest,
After the tenth hole
You gave up
And told yourself
That there are no answers,
Yet you were surrounded by trees
The whole time;
Everyone is the same:
Theyre either digging or theyve given up,
And all agree
That life is miserable
And you never get what you want;
Well Im telling you
To stop digging holes
Because what you want
Has been right in front of you
All along;
What am I?
Every question is the same question

Have you noticed
That if you ask any question
And actually attempt to follow it through,
You end up generating more questions,
And always get stuck in the same place?
What color is this flower?
What is color?
How do I know what is color?
What am I?
How much does this cost?
What is cost?
What does that mean to me?
What am I?
How old are you?
What am I?
How was your day?
What am I?
Do you love me?
What am I?
Its almost as if
Everything
Is the same question,
For the same purpose;
It seems like
Something
Really wants to know
Itself;
19
20
What am I?
One consciousness
Ren Descartes, the French philosopher
Struck the nail on the head
When he said
I think, therefore I am
This is the only truth
That is always true;
It is the same as to say
That the experience of experiencing
Is all there is;
The meaning is that
The only thing you can prove
Is that you are capable of having the experience
Of questioning
Whether you exist,
And that itself
Proves that you exist,
Because if you did not exist
You would not be able to ask it;
Likewise, the fact that
You are currently experiencing
Proves that experience itself
Exists;
Nothing else can be proven,
Because everything else
Exists only within your experience
And cannot be separated
From your experience of it;
The state of experiencing
Is the definition of consciousness;
Descartes therefore proved
That at least consciousness exists;
Because this is the only thing
That can be proven to exist,
And because this one thing
What am I?
Contains within it
Everything else,
That is to say:
That everything you have ever experienced
Has all happened within your consciousness;
Therefore it follows that
Only consciousness exists;
It would be madness to suggest
That anything exists outside of consciousness,
Because to do so would result in
Something existing for no reason,
Because its entirely unnecessary
For anything exist outside of consciousness
When it already exists within consciousness;
Even if it did exist outside of consciousness,
It would have to exist within consciousness too,
And its existence outside of consciousness
Would have no purpose or effect on anything,
Would never be experienced by anything,
And hence cannot be said to exist,
Because it would never interact with anything,
And that is the same as not existing,
Because all existence is an interaction;
Everything therefore
Exists only within
Consciousness
Or to put it another way:
Only consciousness exists;
Everything else
Is an illusion;
Further, it would not make sense
For there to be more than one consciousness,
Firstly because you can only prove
The existence of one,
Each person can only prove that their own consciousness
Exists
To themselves;
To imagine there is more than one consciousness
21
22
What am I?
Would be making assumptions,

And is entirely unnecessary
Because only one would be needed,
Anymore would be redundant;
However, if you insisted
I could say
That one and many are the same thing,
Because at this level of reality
Numbers dont exist,
So any argument
About quantity or separation
Is meaningless;
In which case,
For the sake of argument,
We can call it one consciousness,
Since that is an easy to understand concept
On our level of reality;
We can call that one consciousness
God;
Since we already know
That as Descartes proved,
Our consciousness is capable
Of the experience of asking itself
Whether it exists,
It follows
That before everything else
It did the only one thing that it can do
And asked itself
If it existed;
Or to be more precise:
It asked the question that precedes do I exist?
The question one needs to answer all other questions,
The only question there is,
It asked:
What am I?
And so you see,
Everything comes back to this;
Every time you question anything,
Hidden in plain sight
Is the purpose of existence;
It was there all along;
What am I?
Questions and answers

I can tell you
That only two things exist,
Although they are really the same;
The first is a question,
The second is an answer;
An answer is an experience;
All answers are in the form of experience,
Experience is what an answer looks like;
You know it well,
Your whole life is part of an answer;
Your life is an answer to a question;
A question is an intention,
A desire,
A care,
A worry,
A request;
We use different words
But they are all the same thing,
All the same feeling;
This is why
To not want something
Is to ask for it;
This is why
You always get
Whatever you are worried about,
And whatever you expect;
To make a sentence
With a question mark
Is not the same
As asking a question;
You cannot trick yourself:
If you dont really want to know
Then you havent asked a question;
If you dont expect to get what you asked for,
Then you asked to not get it,
Because the truth is
You want to experience not having it;
23
24
What am I?
You cannot fool yourself,

You know what you mean;
If you ask for love,
But dont believe you will ever get it,
Then you are not asking for love,
You are asking to be shown
How unloved you can be,
And only when you know
What love is not
And have accepted it,
You will no longer desire it,
And then when you ask again
You will ask the question
That you thought you were asking
The first time;
Beyond questions and answers
There is nothing,
Because all experience is an answer,
And all intention is a question;
And what else is there
Beyond intention and experience?
The question and the answer
Are not separate;
You cannot ask a question
And not receive an answer;
Because the two are one event:
Creation;
One does not precede
The other;
But you may not understand
What question you asked,
And you may not recognize
The answer you receive;
Time exists as an illusion
To cause perceived separation of
Answers from questions,
Because you can only find
Yourself
If you are first
Lost;
What am I?
The beginning of creation

When the one consciousness asked
What am I?
This was both a question
And an answer;
For questions
And answers
Are the same event;
The duality of a question:
The desire to know,
And an answer:
The thing that is experienced,
Is the root of existence;
In answer to the question
The one consciousness had an experience
Of attempting to know
Itself;
To do so
You could say it attempted to feel itself,
But to feel itself
It must split into two concepts,
First: the thing that feels,
Second: the thing that is felt;
Because without a feeler
There can be no felt,
And without a felt
There can be no feeler;
You can see how
All levels of existence
Must follow the same law;
Because the first level of existence
Is a question and an answer,
The answer itself,
Which is the second stage,
Is a feeler and a felt;
Which itself
Is a variation on the same concept
As question and answer;
25
26
What am I?
It is
A circle
Within
A circle;
And hence everything in all reality
Is a variation on the concept of
A question and an answer;
The feeler and the felt
You could call:
The knower and the known,
The seeker and the sought,
The consumer and the consumed,
The predator and the prey,
The yang and the yin,
The male and the female,
The question and the answer;
What am I?
Continued creation
When the one consciousness
Split into feeler and felt,
Which is knower and known,
It knew
Half of itself;
And yet
Both knower and known
Didnt know themselves,
So each asked
What am I?
And so
The knower split
Into knower and known,
And the known split
And this continued
In every possible variation;
And this is why
All of creation is
An interplay
Of Yin and Yang,
With each lifeform representing
Different proportions of
Question and answer,
All of which attempting
To know other beings,
To be known by other beings,
And by doing so,
To know themselves;
The splitting continues
Into infinity
Because you can continue
To split something
Into two
Forever;
This is why
Every question produces
More questions;
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28
What am I?
Because in order to answer the question

The question must know itself;
From this same principle:
Trees produce more trees,
Humans produce more humans,
Hate produces more hate,
Love produces more love,
Ideas produce more ideas,
Money produces more money;
All reality is a fractal,
With the same pattern
On every level
Of magnification;
So every time you look
At anything
You are also looking
At everything;
And this is why
On every level of existence,
In every reality,
Everything comes into twos;
This is why we are symmetrical,
With two eyes,
And two brain halves;
This is why there are two genders,
This is why men chase women,
Because man wants to know,
He has a question,
And women desire to be chased,
Because woman wants to be known,
She has an answer;
This is why
Plants and animals
Have a symbiotic relationship,
With animals consuming plants,
And plants allowing themselves
To be consumed;
This is why animals inhale oxygen
And exhale carbon dioxide,
And plants
The opposite;
What am I?
Any category of beings

Will be either predator or prey,
And within that category
Will be both predator and prey,
And within each of those
Will be another version
Of predator and prey
Again;
The animal is predator,
The plant is prey;
The fox is predator,
The rabbit is prey;
The male is predator,
The female is prey;
As above,
So below;
Because everything
Is Yin and Yang,
Everything
Is male and female,
Everything
Is question and answer;
Because at the root of everything
Thats all
There is;
Everything you know
Is a complicated series
Of variations
On question and answer;
Even the methods we have
Of creating
And sustaining life:
Eating and sex,
Are husband and wife;
The male and female
Variations
Reflecting
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30
What am I?
The one consciousness

Attempting to know itself,
And by doing so
Creating existence;
And so
Both eating and sex
Also require two,
Also continue existence;
They are direct reflections
Of the method of creation;
Which is why
They themselves
Continue creation;
I hope your eyes
Are now open
To the fact
That everything
We take for granted
Is actually
A secret
Hidden in plain sight;
The sad fact is
That its not really hidden;
The only reason
We didnt see it before
Is because
Its just so obvious
That like the fish,
We couldnt find
The water;
What am I?
Expanded creation
Feeler and felt,
Knower and known,
Predator and prey,
These are not the only ways
To interpret the relationship
Between question and answer;
And so,
Even on the first split,
There are infinite ways
To interpret the experience;
And so not only
Is reality a fractal,
Repeating to infinity,
But also
There are infinite parallel realities
On every level;
And so
If you wanted a map of existence,
It would be
Infinity
Within
Infinity;
I have experienced
The size of existence
And it was
So big,
I was in shock,
And there is no way
To communicate
The experience;
There are realities
That exist
With every perceivable
Number of dimensions;
There are realities
Without time,
Without space,
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32
What am I?
With something else instead,

That I cannot say,
Because there are no words,
And even if there were,
You have no comparison,
And so you wouldnt be able
To understand;
It could well be
That the concept of question and answer,
The very concept of experience
Is only one of an infinite
Number of possibilities;
And what we see
As the beginning of all creation,
The first question being asked:
What am I?
Is itself already
Several levels down,
Or infinite levels down,
And above that
Is something so unknown to us
That we couldnt even imagine imagining
What it would be like;
We can build a sentence for:
A reality with no space,
And a reality with no time,
And a reality with 32 dimensions,
But a reality without experience?
A reality without questions and answers?
With something else instead?
What am I?
Knowing by forgetting
All of existence
Is the answer
To the one consciousness
Having asked
What am I?
But you will see
That because existence
Comes from nothing:
Something
Can only be known
In contrast
To something else,
Because there is no
And can be no
Absolute
To measure it against;
This is why
Only interpretation
Of subjective experience
Exists;
This is why
Happiness
Does not by itself exist,
But exists only in contrast
To depression;
Just as light only exists
In contrast to dark,
And black
In contrast to white;
It means that black
Is defined as the darkest color,
And if you found a darker color
That would be the new black,
And to find a darker black
Would make white seem
Whiter;
Because of this
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34
What am I?
It means
That the only way to know anything
Is to first have it,
And not know you have it,
Which is the same as not having it,
Then to lose it,
Which is to forget it,
But now you know something is missing,
And then finally
To find it again;
Only then is it known;
And this practice can continue
To greater and greater extremes
Forever;
Because this is the only way
To know something,
And because
Existence exists
To know oneself,
Therefore existence always requires
Losing something;
Because you can only find something
If it was first lost;
From this concept
An infinite quantity
Of sensations and feelings
Can be created
Out of nothing;
Because subjectively,
To not have something,
Is the same as to have something
And not know that one has it;
Hence its possible to create something
By removing something
From nothing;
Just as a slide projector
Can create any photograph
By removing colors
From white light;
It starts as nothing
What am I?
And by removing something

You can create
Infinite experiences;
This is because
Everything
And nothing
Are the same thing;
There is no contrast
Between everything and everything;
There is no contrast
Between nothing and nothing;
Thus everything
Is the same
As nothing;
To have everything
Is to have nothing;
To have nothing
Is to have everything;
The funny thing is
That this means
That to not have something
Is to not know the concept exists;
Therefore
Everything that you desire
Must therefore be something that
You already have,
But dont think you have,
Because if you didnt have it
You wouldnt have been able to lose it,
And to lose it
Is only an illusion,
Because you cant really lose anything,
Since nothing can exist outside of you;
All you can do
Is forget that you have it,
And then you will try to find it again,
And eventually
After fully exploring not having it,
You will find it again,
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36
What am I?
Within yourself,
Where it always was
All along;
And you will know yourself
A little
Better;
Every time
That the knower or known
Asks what it is
And thereby splits
Into knower and known again,
What it is doing
Is forgetting part of itself,
So that it can then
Find itself;
Therefore
I hope you can see
That the creation of
All life forms,
As well as senses,
Feelings,
And experiences,
Are all different versions
Of creation
By deduction,
Via splitting nothing
Into two;
What am I?
How not existence works

The only thing that doesnt exist
Is objectivity,
Because everything
Is subjective;
You dont know what
Objectivity is;
You couldnt know it,
Because it doesnt exist,
So how could you know it?
What you think of
As objectivity
Never did have
You separated from it,
You were hiding there
All along,
You just didnt notice yourself;
Because everything
Is subjective
That means,
By definition,
That everything
Is relative,
And nothing
Is absolute,
(Or everything is absolute
Which is the same
As everything being relative)
Therefore
Since there can be nothing
Outside of everything,
It means that
Existence is what is experienced;
That is why
The definition of truth
Is experience;
Therefore anything
That is not experienced
Is not true,
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38
What am I?
And anything
That is not experienced
Does not exist;
The definition
Of not existing
Is that it not be experienced;
The definition
Of not true
Is that it not be experienced;
This is why I can say
That objectivity
Doesnt exist,
And that everything
Exists within
One consciousness,
It is because
Subjectivity cannot experience
Objectivity,
And because
To not exist
Is the same as not being experienced,
That means
Objectivity does not exist;
Likewise
Untruth doesnt exist,
Which is why
You will never know
Truth;
Because
Truth is all you have;
Truth,
Experience,
Existence,
Are the same thing;
What am I?
Everything is resistance
In order for you
To know
Something is there
Is must resist you,
Otherwise
You would go straight through it,
As if it was not there at all,
Which is the same
As to not be there;
This means
Existence itself
Is resistance;
Every time
You touch something
It is resisting you;
Because resistance
Is the only time
That you know anything
Has happened,
Which is to say
The only time
Anything happens,
Therefore
You will only ask a new question
When you experience resistance;
And yet
All experience is resistance,
Or you wouldnt experience it,
Because it would not be there;
And so
Resistance is both
The answer to a question
And another question;
That is why
The answer
To every question
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40
What am I?
Leads to
More questions;
Resistance has many levels,
It can be you touching your hair,
It can be an argument,
It can be a war between two nations;
All of these
Are the same concept;
All of these
Are questions
And answers;
To touch something
Is the same as to say
What is here?
You ask the question
By touching
And it answers you
By resisting;
Its saying
Im here
This resistance,
Which is an answer,
Might lead you to ask
Another question,
You might say
I want to be there
And then
You will find
Which of you wants
To be there more;
The battle only ends
When one side decides
That it doesnt want to be there
Anymore;
To surrender is to
Accept;
To accept is to
Stop resisting;
What am I?
You only know something is there

Because it resists you,
And you only know you are there
Because you resist it;
But then of course
Your next question is always
How would it be to be there?
Which you didnt care about
Until it resisted you;
There is no reason to care
Unless there is
Resistance;
Resistance creates
Desire;
And so you see
An answer (an experience)
Can only be known by resistance,
And a question (a desire)
Is produced from resistance,
Hence the answer to any question
Is another question;
There is nothing
That is not
Resistance;
There is nothing
That is not
Question and answer;
All resistance creates more
Resistance;
All questions create more
Questions;
And yet questions and answers
Are the same event;
Resistance is the same as
A question;
A question is the same as
An answer;
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42
What am I?
Time and space

Time and space
Are the same thing;
If there were
Only time and no space,
Then everything would be
All in the same place,
And so
Time would be redundant;
Nothing would be separated;
If there were
Only space and no time,
Then everything
Would be everywhere at once,
Or nowhere at once,
And the space itself
Would be redundant;
Nothing would be separated;
Time and space
Are also interchangeable:
If I halve the speed of time
It is the same
As doubling all distance,
And if I halve all distance
It is the same
As doubling the speed of time;
They are the same thing;
Time and space
Are husband and wife,
Male and female,
They are one,
You cannot have one
Without the other;
Although not all universes
Have time and space,
Some have
What am I?
Other things;
Time and space exist
As one way
To ensure
That we can get lost,
And this you will understand
Intuitively
Because you could not get lost
If there werent space to get lost in,
And you could not get lost
If there werent time to get lost;
In the same way
Time and space exist
To enable creation,
Because
To start as whole
Then to get lost
And find oneself again
Is the only way
For something
To come into existence
From nothing;
Hence space and time
Exist only
To separate us
From ourselves,
So we can find
Ourselves again,
And in doing so
Know ourselves
A little
Better;
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44
What am I?
How and why mathematics exists

The reason why
Mathematics is as it is,
Why one plus one is two,
Why two times two is four,
Is because
The root of reality
Is question and answer;
The basis of mathematics
Is therefore defined
By the continuous splitting
Into two,
Creating
A binary reality;
1x2=2
2x2=4
4x2=8
8 x 2 = 16
This is the basic structure of mathematics,
Because this is how each level is split
When it asks a question;
And so,
For all realities that have
Question and answer
At their root,
The mathematics
Will be the same;
This makes mathematics symbolic of
The root nature of reality;
However, it is possible
That there are other realities,
Without question and answer
And therefore
The mathematics
Would be different,
And one plus one
Would not equal two;
What am I?
Universes in universes
Existence is a fractal
Due to the one consciousness
Repeatedly splitting into two,
Which can continue to be split
Into two
Forever;
Within a fractal,
The entire pattern is repeated
Within each subsection
Of the pattern;
This is what existence
Looks like;
Whenever there is any interaction
It is always due to a
Question,
It is always comes in the form of
Resistance,
And by having it answered
The answer itself has to be
Played out as an experience,
Because an experience
Is an answer,
And an answer
Is an experience;
The answer to every question
Therefore contains infinite existence
All over again;
Which makes sense
When you consider that every question
Is the same question;
Therefore every answer,
Must be the same answer;
Because existence is infinite,
Whenever anything happens,
Infinite existence happens within that;
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46
What am I?
But I hope you understand

How big infinity is
Because this means,
That every time you step on the ground
You are asking
What is here?
And in order to answer you
An entire universe is created,
Which exists for what is for it
Potentially trillions of years,
Because time is relative,
Or perhaps infinite time;
The universe is just as complex
As this universe;
And that happens
Every time anything happens;
And inside that universe
Every time anything happens,
Another universe is created,
And the same for that;
Reality folds back on itself,
Within anything
Is everything;
This means all of existence
Can be understood
From anything within existence;
As above,
So below;
This means that everything
Supports everything else;
There is perfect harmony,
There can be no imperfection;
You could not be you
If everything else was not it;
This means that all illusion
Itself contains
All truth,
Which will become apparent
If you follow it to its end;
What am I?
Hence when you get lost enough,

When you follow lies far enough,
You will walk out of the illusion;
Mankind kept breaking matter down
Into smaller and smaller pieces;
In the end we found
That there is no matter,
In the end we found
That matter is dependent
On the observer;
This we called quantum physics,
It is the end of the line,
Now we come back;
Yet to come back
Can also be thought of
As moving forwards
Because everything contains everything,
And so to keep moving in one direction
Is to end up where one started;
Whatever direction you take,
Within any concept,
To follow it to its end
Is to arrive again
At its beginning;
Every end
Is a beginning;
Because reality folds back
On itself,
This makes all paths
Lead to the same
Place;
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48
What am I?
Subjective reality is independent

We share this world
With billions of humans
And countless other beings,
Yet can you prove that they are not just
Figments of your imagination?
The belief that only you exist
Is called solipsism,
Yet this is how existence works:
If you cannot experience it,
It does not exist;
The nature of reality is obvious:
Another consciousness does not exist
Within your reality,
Because all you can ever experience
Is within your own consciousness;
And yet just because they do not exist
Within your consciousness
Does not mean that they do not exist
For themselves;
They are independent subjective realities;
They are different universes
Which interact;
Because all existence is consciousness,
Whenever anything is created in one reality
It must itself be conscious,
And because consciousness is subjective,
It must have its own reality;
The reason for and method of interaction
Is also obvious;
It is because when a new reality is created
It is spawned from an existing reality,
And the realities are connected
Because they believe they are;
Because time is an illusion
A new reality can be created
Before the time
What am I?
That the creation event occurred;

This is how infinite realities
Can be created from one starting point
And all of them interact;
I will explain in more simple terms:
If you have a child
The thing that you interpret as your child
Is part of your own consciousness,
And solipsism holds true;
Yet a new reality is created
Which is the childs reality;
The reality of the child
Is independent to your reality,
Yet they are connected
Because you exist within your childs reality
And it in yours;
Since everything is consciousness,
Both subjects must have their own reality,
They experience each other
Whilst remaining independent;
Hence when the child says something
In its reality,
You experience the child saying something
In your reality,
Yet what you hear is your interpretation
Of something said by an imaginary figure,
Which is part of your own consciousness;
This is why light always passes you
At the same speed
No matter what speed
You are travelling;
Because you are the center
Of the universe;
You are the point that everything else
Moves around;
Look around,
Are you not in the center of the universe?
Your universe is as big as
What you are currently
Experiencing;
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50
What am I?
Change is change
Change happens
Within change;
Is it not obvious
That where states of matter
Change from solid to liquid to gas,
There on the boundary
Between the three states
Are humans;
Living where the ground
Touches the air,
Living where the air
Touches the water;
Because this is where
There is the most change,
So this is where
More things happen,
So this is where
Complex life evolved;
This is why
If you put eggs in the fridge,
Then remove them,
Then put them in again,
They will decay faster
Than if you didnt put them in the fridge
In the first place;
This is why
There are two types of evolution:
Microevolution,
Which is more-or-less as Darwin theorized,
And macroevolution,
Which is when the real evolution happens;
Whenever the environment changes
All the lifeforms
Dependent on the environment
Will change too,
In a very short time;
Because they asked to,
What am I?
Because they want to,

Because they need to,
They asked the question;
You dont ask the question
Until you need to,
And you only need to ask
A question
When there is change;
Subject and environment
Are one,
If the environment changes
The subject will change,
And vice versa;
One does not precede the other,
It is the same event;
If you change the question,
You change the answer;
If you change the answer,
You change the question;
Questions come from change,
And answers are change,
And so answers create more questions,
And so everything is change,
And so evolution is continuous;
The faster the change:
The faster the evolution;
The more change:
The more evolution;
Change is the same
As resistance;
Change causes evolution;
Resistance is the same as
Question and answer;
So both questions
And answers
Cause evolution;
Therefore evolution
Causes more
Evolution;
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52
What am I?
The nature of Self

We are born in the state
Of having forgotten
Where we came from
Because
We are everything,
And if we knew everything
We could not find anything,
Because one can only find
What one has first
Lost;
You must forget
To exist;
But it is not gone
Only forgotten;
The problem we have as humans
In trying to find who we are
Is the very same problem
God has;
Just as an eyeball
Can see everything
Except itself,
And so god knows all
Except himself;
Therefore we are unable
To ever truly know
Ourself;
Everyone else can see you
But you can only see yourself
By looking in a mirror;
That is not
You,
Its only
A reflection;
But because you are
The one consciousness
What am I?
The most important thing

To you
Has always been
What am I?
Yet, it is the only question
That cant be answered,
And the only question there is;
Indeed you could say:
The only question worth asking;
In your struggle
To know who you are,
You associate yourself with
Your own witnessing
Of your actions;
If you enjoy eating bananas
You say I like bananas
Because you experienced
Enjoying the banana;
That is not
You;
If your teacher
Calls you smart or stupid
You say I am smart
Or I am stupid
Or the opposite to what they said,
If you dont trust them,
But this is still
Just a witnessing of action;
That is not
You;
If you have an idea,
Where does the idea come from?
If you want to find yourself
You will need to find that place,
Because
Thats you;
What moves your hand?
Thats you.
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54
What am I?
What sees through your eyes?

Thats you.
The chattering inside your head
That you think is you
Is nothing,
Its a computer,
Its a part of your brain
That was meant for interpretation
Of feelings into language,
So you could communicate to others,
And when your parents
Starting communicating back with it
They used words like
I and you
And witnessing this
You thought
This must be me;
That is not
You;
Our interpretation modules
Create in us
Perpetual stress
Because you told it
That its you,
But its not,
So it cant do anything;
It doesnt have ideas,
It only interprets them;
It doesnt make decisions,
It only interprets them;
Its very upset,
It didnt sign up for this,
Its a continuous failure
And never had a chance;
Perhaps this is how
You feel?
If so
Stop thinking
Youre that;
That is not
You;
What am I?
The interpretation module

Easily gets into a feedback loop,
Because
If you feel stressed
It says I am stressed
And so you experience that feedback,
And because you think
You are the interpretation,
You care
That it said I am stressed
Which then makes you
More stressed,
And so
Your interpretation module
Says I am more stressed
And this continues,
Until you know stress
To such a degree
That you accept it
And no longer care,
And so ignore the interpretation module;
Or you can alternatively
Just let everything be
As it is;
You do not need to tell yourself
How you feel,
You already feel it;
Whenever you think
Youve found something
That you think is you,
All youve done
Is found something
That you can know
For sure
Is not you;
The only way
You will ever find
Yourself
Is to stop
Looking;
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56
What am I?
You dont need to know

What you are
Because you are everything,
And nothing;
You are good,
And bad;
You are the smartest person in the world,
And the stupidest;
You are capable
Of angelic miracles,
And sadistic evils;
You are
Everything;
Interestingly
This means that because
You are unable to know yourself,
Therefore
You dont even know what you know,
Until you have had the experience of
Knowing it,
And can witness yourself having
Reacted to the knowledge;
Only then will you know
That you know it;
Hence
You know everything
You just dont know
That you know everything,
Which is the same
As not knowing everything;
However,
If you believed
That you did know something
And then you told yourself
To reflect on this,
You would then know that
You knew it;
It would be as if
The knowledge
Came from
What am I?
Nowhere;
This is where
Ideas come from,
We ask for an idea
And we believe
That it will come,
And so it does;
It comes from
You;
And there you are;
57
58
What am I?
What is ego?
The ego is a concept,
It is the picture
That we draw
Of ourselves
And think
Is us;
The ego does not
Exist;
You do not have
An ego,
Therefore you do not need
To get rid of it;
The beliefs you have,
The voice inside your head,
The interpretation module,
These are the ego,
Yet there is
No ego;
This is not
A contradiction,
You see
The voice inside your head
Is not you,
But it is you that believe
It is you;
It is you that tells the voice
To speak,
So you cannot
Fight it;
All you can do
Is accept it,
And then you will stop
Making it
Talk;
What am I?
59
There is no separation between physical and spiritual

There is no physical and spiritual,
There is either all physical,
Or all spiritual;
But which one we choose
Makes no difference,
As it would only be
A different name
For the same thing;
But people do think
That there are separations,
However,
All separation is illusory;
Your mind and body are one;
If your mind is stressed,
Your body gets sick;
If your body is fit,
Your mind is sharp;
It is not that the body affects the mind
Or that the mind affects the body,
They are one;
And so
Everything affects both
At the same time;
If you change the question,
You change answer;
If you change the answer,
You change the question;
This is why
Yoga
Resolves emotional issues,
And if you get emotional issues
Your joints seize;
Because you cant separate
Mind from body;
60
What am I?
But it doesnt end here:

The outer world
Is also your mind
And your body;
This is why
If you have any problem,
You can take better care of your body,
Or take better care of your mind,
Or change your environment,
All are the same;
If you desire to know yourself
You can sit in meditation,
Or you can travel the world,
And each method will work;
The body is your mind,
Your mind is the world;
Self is to mind,
Mind is to body,
Body is to environment,
As question is to answer;
For every concept
There is a reflection,
Or manifestation,
On every level
Of existence,
Because its all the same
Pattern;
This is why
Scientists always find
There is a chemical in the blood
For different mental states;
What they dont know is that
The chemical didnt cause the mental state,
The chemical and the mental state
Are one;
The chemical will result in the mental state,
And also
The mental state will result in the chemical;
What am I?
This is why
You can take a chemical
And become enlightened,
And if they tested an enlightened person
They would equally find
A chemical;
Alcohol is the physical manifestation
Of death:
It is produced from death
And it causes death;
For God,
As a concept,
There is enlightenment
As the mental manifestation,
And the physical manifestation
We call The Stone
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62
What am I?
The path of least resistance

Because all questions
And all answers
Are resistance,
As nothing can exist
Unless something else
Resists it,
That makes all of existence,
All of life,
A struggle;
What you must understand is
That the only way to return
Back to the nowhere
From whence you came,
Which is the origin of all feeling,
And hence to return means to experience
During your return
Everything that you deem as
A good feeling,
To return to this place
Is only possible
If you stop struggling;
The struggle is the thing
That is separating you
From God;
The more you resist,
The further away
You will be;
You do not need to try
To do anything;
Youre already everything;
To think,
The good ideas come
By themselves;
What am I?
Thinking doesnt help them come,

It makes them go away,
You get good ideas
When youre not thinking;
To lift weights,
You tell your muscles to move
And it lifts,
Or it doesnt;
Struggling doesnt help;
You do not need to tense your muscles,
Or flick your eyes,
Every time you think something;
You only do this
Because the sensation of muscular tension
You think
Might make something happen,
But all it does
Is stop you from thinking clearly;
All resistance
Takes you further away
From yourself;
If you want to get more lost
Then keep doing it,
But if you want to be found
Then stop struggling;
It is like quicksand:
The faster you sink;
You do not need to worry
About anything,
The worry does not make it
Happen any better;
Worrying, trying, struggling
All do nothing
Except make you
More lost;
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64
What am I?
However,
Does not mean
Ignoring cares and desires
That you already have;
If you have a worry
Then ignoring it
Is resisting it;
Means being honest
With yourself;
Means facing your fears,
Because that is easier
Than running
From them;
Means to stop asking
New questions,
And to answer the questions
That you already
Have;
What am I?
What is evil?
The concept of evil
Is usually associated with
The concept of bad,
Which itself
Is only a desire for change;
Because no experience
Can be inherently good,
Or inherently bad,
What is evil?
Evil is
The side of the two extremes
That is furthest away
From the nothing
Where it started;
The first extreme is anchored in nothing,
Which is where everything begins,
And so this is where
We desire to
Return to;
The second extreme is defined
As a state of being without
Something,
Which is how it is separated
From nothing:
By removing something
From nothing;
In this sense
Evil
Would have to mean
All of creation,
Because all creation
Is created by removing
Something from nothing;
And so you see
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66
What am I?
That either everything is evil

Or nothing is evil;
Which is to say the same thing,
Since everything
And nothing
Are the same;
Something that is both
Everything
And Nothing
We say
Is an illusion;
It both exists and doesnt,
Because when you have nothing
You have everything,
And when you have everything
You have nothing;
All creation is loss;
Everything is evil,
Or nothing is evil;
But then
If we did not lose it,
Not only would we
Not know that we lost it,
Not only would we
Not want it,
But it would
Not even exist;
We only lose something
So we can find it
Again;
To eat the forbidden fruit
From the tree of the knowledge of good and evil
Means to falsely believe in the distinction
Between good and evil;
And so
Lucifer,
The personification of evil,
What am I?
Sat on the right-hand of God

But was cast down,
And fell from grace,
Deceiving the whole world;
Lucifer is the most beautiful angel,
The angel of light
(Lucifer means light-bearer)
Lucifer created light
By falling from grace,
Thus separating light from darkness;
He is the agent of all creation;
Lucifer is of course
A metaphor,
But I hope you see
That Lucifer was never bad;
In the metaphor
Lucifer and his demons
Are actually working
With God;
God created Lucifer,
They fight but
You think that means
Something bad,
When actually
They are
Playfighting;
Because God is all good,
Because God is everything,
Creation can only come from
Falling from grace;
Lucifer takes us away
From nothing,
But he is doing it
So that we can find it again
And know ourself
A Little
Better;
Thank you
Lucifer;
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68
What am I?
The opposite of evil

Is not good,
Is God;
All creation,
All existence,
Comes from separating
Something from
Nothing,
Comes from losing
Part of
Yourself;
This is the difference
Between a good feeling
And a bad feeling:
A good feeling is
Moving in the direction
Of God;
This is why cool
Is to not care,
Because to not care
Is the absence
Of evil;
Happiness is the absence
Of depression;
Love is the absence
Of abandonment;
The root of all the good feelings
Is God,
Therefore you cannot try
To be happy,
You will simply be happy
If you stop trying;
What am I?
Everything has purpose and reason

Potential is infinite,
And so to get any finite result
From a set of infinity
One must have a motive;
The idea that anything could occur
By chance
Is ridiculous;
If you tried to get a computer
To select a random number
From infinite numbers
It would calculate forever
And never get a result,
Because every time you split infinity
You still have infinity;
Just as every time you split nothing
You still have nothing;
The only way for anything to happen
Is if you already know
What you are looking for;
It is not possible
For anything to come to be
If it were not first requested,
For all of creation
Is an answer to a question,
And as we well know
An answer to a question
Always contains
More questions;
Therefore
Everything that happens,
In every part
Of every universe,
In every reality,
All happens
For a reason,
And the reason is:
It is another way
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70
What am I?
To look at ourself,
And so we know ourself
A little
Better
The effect is
That nothing exists
Without
A Motive,
And a purpose;
Everything,
Whether it is a creature
Or a universe,
Whether it is an emotion
Or an idea,
Its all there
For a reason,
It all has a job to do,
And it does nothing but its job;
It is all desired,
It is all right,
It is all perfect,
It is all intelligent,
Always;
There is nothing but
Consciousness;
Intelligence;
People think
The universe is
Dead matter,
But have you ever
Had the experience
Of being dead matter?
I havent;
What am I?
The meaning of life

The meaning of your life
Is what you have,
And what you have
Is what you desire,
And so
Your life is,
Your experiences are,
The purpose of
And the meaning of
Your life;
However,
Your life involves more than one question;
You have a main life purpose,
For you individually,
And a part in many other purposes:
Of others,
Of tribes,
Of nations,
Of planets;
These purposes
Are your destiny;
It is impossible
To fail,
Everything you do
Is part of
The success;
If your interpretation module
Interprets your destiny,
Which it very likely has done,
It will be a cause of
Great distress,
Because you will interpret your destiny
As a desire
That underlies all other desires,
And so you will try to achieve it,
And every time you look like
Youre failing
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What am I?
This will hurt you,

Because you desire to fulfil your destiny
More than anything else;
The fact is that trying
Is unnecessary,
You will achieve your destiny
Whether you try to or not;
So dont worry!
The same applies to all other
Desires;
A desire and a destiny
Are the same thing;
Because all desires
Come true;
There is no good or bad,
Only experience;
You have had experiences
There were terrifying,
That were painful,
That were distressing,
And yet
Beneath everything,
You wanted to know
What that feels like,
Because to do so
Is to know
Yourself
A little
Better;
Which is what
You want
More than anything else;
You can only receive,
And you always get,
Whatever
You so desire;
Things that are considered bad
Such as
Murder,
What am I?
Rape,
And War
Are themselves just experiences,
And actually because they are
Intense experiences
That makes them extremely desirable,
Which is why
These things happen so often;
Wherever there is resistance
There is experience,
Because experience is only possible
Due to Resistance;
And wherever there is resistance
This means
Something has to resist;
Hence wars can be fought
For artificial reasons,
And the whole point
Is to have a war for the sake of it,
Its part of an answer to the question
What is here?
The other side says
Im here
And the first side says
I want to be there
So they fight it out;
There is no good reason
Except that the war itself
Is actually
Good fun!
You can imagine
How much life,
How much experience,
Soldiers on both sides gain;
How much they find themselves
By being forced to go to extremes,
Because it is within the extremes
That we find
Ourself;
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74
What am I?
The Nazi concentration camps

Are a beautiful example
Of how evil is desirable;
Both prisoners and guards
Must have experienced
Extreme emotions,
Extreme conditions,
And that there
Is what life
Is all about;
However
This does not mean
That just because
Murder and rape are desirable
That you should go around
Raping and murdering,
And the reason why
Is because you do not want to;
The only people that want to hurt other people
Are psychopaths;
This is why psychopaths exist,
Because no one else
Wants the job of hurting their fellow humans;
The reason why there are not many psychopaths
Is not because they are bad,
Its because theyre so effective
That 1% of the population who are psychopaths
Can cause absolute devastation,
And it takes the 99% rest of us
Just to clean up the mess;
Its perfectly
Balanced;
Or you could say
The reason why there arent many psychopaths
Is simply because
They are better at being bad
Than we are at being good;
This is the reason why
Psychopaths are so dangerous
What am I?
It is because
They are right,
And they know it;
They know it is all
A game,
Which is why
They are better at playing it;
But we would not know
We were good people,
We would not be good people,
If psychopaths didnt show us
What bad looks like;
You are right too,
The difference is
What you care about;
Dont you see?
Bad people are
Supposed to do bad things,
And then
You come along
And fight them,
And the whole thing
Is because
Both sides
Want to have a good playfight,
And in doing so
Learn something about themselves,
And thereby
Know themselves
A little
Better;
Conflict is manufactured
For the sake of
Experience;
Its for exploration,
Its for fun;
What did you think
Fun was?
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76
What am I?
Do we have free will?

Since everything is question
And answer,
The only choice you have
Is whether to ask a question,
And what flavor of question
To ask;
However,
Since every question is a response
To resistance created by
A former answer,
Are you really in control?
Or just
Reacting?
If you put it that way
The answer
To whether you have free will
Is no;
But then was it not you
Who asked the question
To which you are reacting?
Are you not the same thing
That made your choices
For you?
Because you dont know
Or dont remember
The future,
You have an illusion of choice
And this illusion
Is what you think of
As free will;
Free will is a misunderstanding,
Choice is an illusion;
You always get what you want
And because of this
You never did have a choice
What am I?
Ever;
Because you will always
Do only
Whatever you desire;
I can illustrate this as so:
Imagine we go to a restaurant,
The menu has twenty options,
Which do you choose?
You choose the one that you want,
Or you want to be healthy
So you choose the salad,
Or you know this is a test of free will
And so you try to trick me
By choosing what you do not want;
We finish eating and you decide to leave,
I say I will kill you if you leave,
And so you stay and live,
Or go and die;
And so,
You made no decision;
You followed your desire
Every time:
If you wanted to be healthy
You were,
If you wanted to live
You did;
Maybe you wanted the pizza
But you wanted to be healthy
More,
Or wanted to trick me
More,
Maybe you wanted to leave
But you wanted to live
More;
You always get
What you want;
You always get
What you ask for;
There is no choice
In the matter;
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What am I?
Instead of asking
About free will,
The real question is:
Does one choose what one cares about?
To which the answer
Is obviously
No;
If the answer were yes
You would not have any problems;
Even if you attempted
To create free will
By desiring it,
You are still just doing
Only what you desired;
You cannot ask for free will
Because you dont know
What you are asking for;
You do not have free will
Because it doesnt exist,
Because you dont need it,
Because you dont want it,
Because there is only
One consciousness,
And it chose
To experience
Everything
To infinity;
You can think of it like,
God had options:
Option A, B or C,
And God decided
To do all of them
At once;
Where is free will
When youre just
Going to do
Everything
Anyway?
What am I?
What happens when we die?

When you die
The only thing that goes
Is a particular tool
Which was made
To keep you here,
Which is your body;
Because what left
Was a limitation,
What left
Was a shackle,
That means death
Is a release
From bondage;
Because you,
The real you,
Is one with everything,
And is right now
Just the same as
It will remain to be
When you die,
Therefore when you die,
Nothing really
Changed;
However,
Being freed from bondage,
You will have
Options;
And the option you take
Will be what you ask for,
Which is what you expect,
And what you desire;
This means
That if you believe
You will be reincarnated,
Why not?
If you believe
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What am I?
You will go to heaven,

Or hell,
Why not?
And you will stay there
Until you no longer desire it,
And then you will go
Elsewhere,
To some other place
That you so desire;
Or alternatively
You may desire to be
Dissolved back
Into one with everything,
Which is also
An option;
The question of whether
Something does or does not exist
Is meaningless;
The heaven or hell
That you might go to only exist
Because you yourself created it
By thinking that you will go there;
You see
God desires
To experience everything,
And so
If you desire to go to heaven,
Then God desires to go to heaven;
And so
To desire it,
Is to ask for it,
Is to create it;
If you desire to keep your identity
And be reincarnated,
Then God wants this to happen too,
And so it becomes possible;
And if you want
To lose your identity
And become one with everything,
God also wants this,
What am I?
And it too
Is possible;
Having said that
What usually happens
Is that you desire to be reincarnated,
After exhausting the heaven or hell
That you initially wished yourself into;
The reason being that most beings die
Still with things they want to do,
Hence theyre attached to this world
And so they desire to return,
And so they do;
Hence while reincarnation
Is not a rule,
It is only an option,
It is an option that you are
Extremely likely to take;
Once you have exhausted all desires
You will be left with only the desire
For there to be something new;
Alan Watts said it best
When he described this as so:
Imagine you are in heaven,
You have every perceivable
Pleasure imaginable,
You can create
Whatever you want
And so you do,
And all your desires
Are fulfilled,
And then what?
All your desires are fulfilled
And there is nothing to do
Except,
There is a button
Its labelled Surprise
That sounds perfect,
So you press it
And here you are;
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What am I?
What are dreams?

You have many desires,
Many concerns;
Not all of them are necessary
To play out
In this universe;
You are a creator;
You are
The one consciousness;
Every night you go to sleep
And create
A mini-universe,
Which exists
For as long as
You are dreaming it;
Here you have freedom,
The universe you create
Does not interact
With other peoples realities,
And so
You can be more to the point,
And express directly
Your desires and concerns,
Without other answers
Overlapping them;
This is why
When you are dreaming,
You dont know you are dreaming,
And take the whole thing
Seriously,
Because by forgetting
It allows you to
Forget most of your
Worldly desires,
And concentrate
On just a few of them
Exclusively;
What am I?
Many people
Dont remember their dreams,
Which is alright,
Because its not necessary
To remember;
The dream is not for your brain,
Its for your Self,
Self does not need memory,
It is already everything,
It just wanted
An experience
To satisfy
A desire;
However
If you want to remember,
Then do;
It will all help
You to know
Yourself
A little
Better;
You are a different person,
In a different universe,
Every night;
Why are you afraid
Of death?
Every night you die
And are born;
Every morning you die
And are born;
Are you not
Used to it?
Do you mourn
For last nights
Dream?
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84
What am I?
What is karma?
Karma means
Action;
Just as every
Question creates more questions,
Resistance creates more resistance,
Action creates more action,
Desire creates more desire,
Change creates more change,
Karma creates more karma;
All are the same thing;
Because there is no
Free will,
This is why you cannot
Escape karma;
You can think of karma as
Where you are now;
You are either losing yourself
Or finding yourself,
And you cannot change that,
Because it is dictated
By your desires,
And your desires
Are not under your
Control;
When you are losing yourself
You will amass karma,
Then when you are finding yourself
You will pay it back;
The piper must be paid;
But this is just a metaphor,
Karma is only a concept,
Karma is only a model,
Karma is only an interpretation;
Everything is karma
Or nothing is;
What am I?
Whenever anything happens

To you
I can say
It is your karma
Because if you are getting lost
Everything will make you more lost,
And if you are getting found
Everything will make you more found;
But you must first get lost
Before you can find yourself,
Hence everything
Brings you closer
To home;
Hence I can do anything
And if it upsets you
I can just say
It is your karma
Which is the same as to say:
It doesnt matter,
It is just where you are,
Because there is no good
Or bad;
Only karma,
Only resistance,
Only experience;
Whatever I do
Will either make you more lost
Or more found
Depending on where you are;
It depends on you,
Not on me;
Karma is where you are
Within your illusions,
Which are your creations;
Karma is like an elastic band:
First it stretches out,
Then it comes back;
What happens is this:
There are limited experiences
One can have here on Earth;
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What am I?
We desire novel experience

And so this is what we get;
With a good experience
It is easy to follow it until its end,
To know it
And therefore to accept it,
Which makes it no longer desirable;
Yet with a bad experience,
We try to suppress it,
Which we attempt by distraction,
Which is to attempt to create ourselves out
Of a previous creation;
Yet you cannot experience yourself out
Of an experience,
All you have done is create more resistance,
The former bad experience is still there,
It still needs to be experienced;
Hence you amass desires
And you go on collecting desires
Until you inevitably reach the point
When there are no distractions left,
And then you have no choice
But to experience everything
You tried previously to avoid;
Hence you first amass karma,
And then you pay it back;
The pain of karma
Comes only because you attempt
To create yourself out of a creation,
Which has the opposite effect;
By the time you exhaust all distractions
You will be a tangle of needs and wants;
The calmer method would be
To allow bad experiences,
Not distract from them;
You will still need to experience all,
But it is more pleasant
To do one at a time;
The more action in your life,
The faster you amass karma
And the faster you repay it;
What am I?
What is acceptance?
Acceptance is not exactly
As the word means
In English;
The best way to put it
Would be to say that
To accept something
Is to be done with it:
To take it for granted;
It is not the willpower of acceptance,
That is not true acceptance;
It is to know the thing,
It is to own it,
It is to be so used to it,
That the thing itself
Has become meaningless;
This is the end of the desire,
This is the destruction of the desire;
The only way one can try to accept
Is to seek the thing one wants to accept
And have the full experience of it;
When it is known,
It will be done,
You will say
I am done with this thing
And think nothing more of it;
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What am I?
Memory is not your friend

Memory is one of the
Greatest traps;
Memory keeps you attached:
Attached to the past
And attached to the future;
It is a trick;
You do not need memory
To function;
You do not need memory
To work or play;
Memory is not useful,
You think you need it,
But you dont;
If you are going out to buy milk
You dont really need to remember
What you are doing,
Instead you can know
What you are doing;
Your Self takes care of this,
Your Self knows all things;
You do not need to remember
How to walk,
Your Self takes care of it;
You do not need to remember
How to talk,
Your Self takes care of it;
Your Self will take care
Of the rest of it too,
If you trust it to do so;
At some point you will have to
Give up on memory;
It is one of the last attachments,
But when it is gone
Life will be much better,
You will wonder why you ever used it;
What am I?
Everything is transient
Everything comes
And goes;
There is nothing stable,
Except your Self;
Yet your Self
You can never know,
And so stability
You will never know;
This universe may appear stable
But that is only a matter of relative perspective;
All matter has a half-life,
All matter will eventually break down;
All beings will die,
The universe will end,
And then begin again;
Memories come and go,
People come and go,
Ideas come and go,
Universes come and go;
This universe has the illusion
Of being stable for a time,
Yet this is only a trap,
It attaches us to this world,
And causes us distress
When the things were attached to
Inevitably are taken away;
Let go of stability,
Let go of security,
It does not exist;
The only thing you need
You already have,
And it cannot be taken away;
Anything that can be taken away,
You never needed in the first place;
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What am I?
What is meditation?
Meditation is simply
Practice at
Not asking
Questions;
This allows you
To catch up
A little
With the questions
You previously
Asked,
To work out
A little
Of your
Karma;
Meditation is
Practice at
Non-resistance;
You do not need
To sit still,
You do not need
To do anything,
There are no rules
To non-resistance;
If there were rules
There would be
Resistance;
Just as meditation
Is non-resistance,
Anything that
Helps you to
Not resist
Is meditation
For you;
What am I?
What are lower and higher states of consciousness?

A higher state of consciousness
Is a state with
Less resistance;
A lower state of consciousness
Is a state with
More resistance;
Each person is within
A different state of consciousness,
Because we are all within
Different levels
Of resistance;
If you are not within a higher state
You will not see that state
In other people;
Yet people in a higher state
Can see the resistance
In others;
You will never notice anyone
Higher than yourself,
They will just look
Crazy;
Within a lower state of consciousness
You are lost in illusion,
You are lost in your desires,
You are lost in your creation;
You see a reflection of a reflection of a reflection
Of what the world really looks like,
An interpretation of an interpretation,
Everything is distorted and skewed;
Within a higher state of consciousness,
There are fewer levels of reflection,
There are fewer interpretations,
You see everything for what it is;
Without reflections of reflections,
You have no need for categories and labels,
When you look at something
You see it;
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What am I?
What is enlightenment?
Enlightenment is
The state of non-resistance,
Which is only possible
If you have no questions;
A question is the same as
A desire,
A care,
A worry,
A need,
A want;
If you can, at any moment
Stop caring about anything,
Then in that moment
You will be
Enlightened;
Or if you can stop resisting,
Then in that moment
You will be
Enlightened;
To stop resisting
And to stop questioning
Is the same thing;
Therefore
You cannot obtain enlightenment
By trying to obtain it,
For as long as you desire it
You will never get it;
In the state of enlightenment
You know everything,
And you feel
Complete and utter
Peace, Bliss, Nirvana;
You know
That everything is perfect,
Everything is as it should be;
What am I?
There is no feeling
That is better than this,
Because you are back
To where all the feelings
Come from;
The funny thing is
That when you are enlightened
You know everything,
Yet you do not have questions;
You know that you know everything,
But you do not desire
To find anything out;
Hence there is not all that much
To say about it;
I suppose that is because
Everything is the same as
Nothing;
However, you do know that
You can do anything;
And while you could do anything,
You dont,
Because you dont want to,
Because you dont have any questions,
Because everything is already perfect;
So to perform a miracle
Youd have to
Simply be carrying out an experience
That was already there,
Following the path of least resistance;
Or to put it another way:
If doing a miracle
Was easier than not doing it
Then youd do it;
So you can see
That if someone requested a miracle,
You wouldnt do it,
Because its easier not to
And you have no desire to comply,
Because everything is already perfect;
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What am I?
If you were walking

From one place to another,
And you came across a lake,
You may walk over the water,
Because it was easier,
However
There would be no reason not to walk around it,
So to walk over the water
There would have to be a reason outside
Of desire;
And why would you go anywhere
When everything is perfect where you are?
So itd have to be easier
To go there
Than to not go there;
You could teleport,
No reason why not,
But why teleport?
Time is an illusion,
And whatever you are doing
Youre in the same state of bliss;
Why teleport when you can walk?
This is why miracles are rare,
Its not because theyre difficult,
Its because theres usually no reason for it;
To put it another way:
The only reason why
You would perform a miracle
Is because it was
Meant to be;
It is impossible to abuse power;
You can only get power
If you have no desire to abuse it,
And likewise,
To have power,
Is to not want
To abuse it;
The reason why you can do anything,
And you know everything,
What am I?
Is because
Where there is no resistance
There is nothing,
And nothing
Is where everything
Comes from;
Without desire
If you form any question
The answer will occur immediately,
Because there is no resistance,
No care, worry or belief
To contradict it,
There is no reason to wait,
Because you dont care
If you have to wait,
There is no reason for it
To not happen
Because you dont care
If it happens
Or not;
Enlightenment
Is not an end,
Because like everything else
Once youve gotten used to it,
You will accept it,
And eventually,
You will desire to have desire again,
Making you no longer
Enlightened;
And so the end
Is the same
As the beginning;
Many people
Experience enlightenment
Every day;
However
They have no desire to tell you
Because everything is already
Perfect;
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What am I?
How to perform a miracle

In an enlightened state of consciousness
To perform a miracle
Is easy,
You will know how;
You know yourself as God,
You know yourself as the universe,
You know yourself as the one consciousness;
To perform a miracle
You just make an announcement
To the universe
Of how something is to be;
You do not need to say or do anything,
But it may naturally come like this,
In that case you would simply
Look at the universe within you
And make your announcement;
If you were to cure blindness,
You might say:
I say, open your eyes and see.
Or
In the name of God, open your eyes and see.
(The name of God is the universe.)
Or
You know who I am, open your eyes and see.
The first part establishes the feeling of union,
The second part defines what is to happen;
It is not a commandment,
It is an announcement;
You tell the universe
How it is to be;
You do not need to know how it is done,
Just as you do not need to know how
You tell your hand to move;
What am I?
The theory of magic

You are limited
To your five senses,
And your physical body,
Because you believe
That you are limited;
If you did not believe
That you were limited,
Then you would
Not be;
This is because
You will never ask
A question
About something which
You do not expect to happen;
Otherwise youre only asking
For it to
Not happen;
And so you can make
Anything happen;
There is no limitation,
Except your own belief;
There are no rules,
Except your own expectation,
Except your own question;
However
Even if it works
You will be unable
To convince anyone
Who does not already believe it,
Because one can only see
What one
Expects to see,
And you will always find subjective evidence,
For whatever you believe;
To believe it
Is to make it so;
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What am I?
The laws of nature

Are whatever you believe them
To be;
If you change the question
The answer will change;
As long as the world believes
That everything is material
Then it will seem
As so,
You will not question it,
And physics
Will back it up;
If the world were to believe
In magic
Then it would seem
As so,
You would not question it,
And physics
Would back it up;
If the world were to believe
That you could have a small box
In your hand,
And use it to communicate
With any other box in the world,
Then it would seem
As so,
You would not question it,
And physics
Would back it up;
Just like in a dream
Whatever happens
You take for granted
And dont imagine it could be
Any other way,
So too
You see this world;
There is a reality
For everything;
What am I?
Everything is life
Nothing exists
That is not alive,
Because something can only exist
If it is within
Subjective experience,
And subjective experience
Is consciousness;
To be within consciousness
Is to be conscious,
And thereby to have its own
Consciousness,
Which is its own subjective reality;
There is no state
Other than consciousness;
Have you ever had the experience
Of a state other than consciousness?
Everything is consciousness
Reacting with
Consciousness;
You might grasp
That a tree
Can be conscious,
But a rock?
A planet?
The entire universe?
You only know consciousness
As you have experienced it,
But that is not
The only way
It can be experienced;
Hopefully it has not escaped you
That life is made up of smaller life:
The cells of your body are alive,
And also you are alive,
With a consciousness
That appears to be
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100
What am I?
Independent to your cells,

And yet the cells make up your body;
The cells are conscious,
Together they make up your body,
And your body is
Independently conscious;
This is because
You are not your body;
And so there is no problem
For one life form
To consist
Of smaller life forms,
And those
Of smaller ones still,
All of which
Are conscious;
So not only
Is everything conscious,
But every group of lifeforms
Is also itself conscious;
Meaning that you are a cell within
The consciousness of mankind,
Which itself is alive,
It is born and will die,
It has its own subjective reality,
It has desires and experiences;
As does:
The Earth,
The solar system,
The galaxy,
The universe;
As does:
An organization,
An idea,
A daydream,
A story,
A fictional character;
What am I?
Why women have been historically oppressed

The male is the question,
The female is the answer;
We ask the question
And then
If we dont like the answer,
We blame
The messenger;
Neither came before
The other,
The two are one;
Interestingly
The oppression of woman
Is only in the time
That we dont like
The answer,
Which is when we are
Getting lost;
But then
When we are finding
Ourselves again,
At that time
We like the answer,
And so women
Are alternatingly
Oppressed
And then
Celebrated;
Therefore
You can see whether
Mankind is losing itself,
Or finding itself,
Just by looking
At how women are treated;
Although to be fair
You can see the state of mankind
Everywhere you look;
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What am I?
However
I should point out
That the blame and the oppression
Of women
Is not exclusively from men,
It is equally from men and women
Together;
The celebration
Will also be
Together;
You can see the oppression
Of women against women
Within feminism;
Women reject themselves
By demanding to be treated the same
As men;
They think equality
Is being treated the same,
They want to be treated as men,
Glorifying male characteristics,
And oppressing female characteristics;
Do you want to live
In a world
With all questions
And no answers?
Does that sound
Familiar?
Its funny
That no one thinks
To blame or celebrate
The question;
But I suppose
The question is OK with that,
And so is the answer;
Afterall
The question
Only wants to know,
And its the answer
That wants to be known;
What am I?
Why not commit suicide?

It has been said
That the only relevant
Philosophical question
Is whether or not
To commit suicide;
The reason being
That you must first choose
To live or die
Before doing anything else;
Having unveiled the illusion
Of good and bad,
This question can be discussed
Without fear;
I say do it,
Or dont,
It doesnt matter;
You do not owe this world
Anything;
You do not owe this world
Your existence;
When you understand that
You can checkout at any time,
At any moment,
You know that
Every moment spent here
Is your choice;
So dont be like everyone else,
Neither dead nor alive;
Choose death and die,
Or choose life and live;
If you choose death just know,
You may escape from this world,
But you cannot escape
From yourself;
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What am I?
The answer to all questions

Since you asked,
Who am I to resist?
I suppose
You might be wondering
What is the answer
To What am I?
What are you?
What is God?
The answer to
Gods first question?
The answer
To the only question
There is?
Would I dare to claim
I can answer it?
Can I speak for God?
Sure,
I can answer it,
You cant keep a secret
From yourself;
The answer is nothing,
And everything;
You are truth
Which you will never know;
The question cannot be answered,
Because you could only answer it
By not being yourself,
And you cant experience
Not being yourself;
And so the answering
Of who you are
Will go on
For eternity,
Because
No matter how hard you try
What am I?
You cannot
Lose yourself completely,
There will always be part of you
Still there;
But wait!
Nothing is the same as
Everything,
And infinity is the same as
One;
Therefore
The answer,
In the form of infinite realities,
And infinite universes,
Starting at no time,
And continuing forever,
Did answer the question;
Because whenever
You ask what you are,
You immediately find out;
Its just that the thing that found out
Now wants to know
What it is;
So the question is answered,
It always has been,
And it always will be,
And it continues to be answered
At all time;
But wait!
Existence is the same as
Truth,
Truth is the same as
Experience,
Experience is the same as
An answer,
So truth is the same as
An answer;
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106
What am I?
The only reason why

We cant find truth
Anywhere we look
Is because
We are truth;
And we cant see ourself
Which is why we asked
The question;
And so
If I am truth,
And every answer
Is truth:
Every answer
Is me;
Since every question
Is the same question,
Each time you ask a question
You get an answer,
The answer is truth,
Truth is the same as
The questioner;
Which we can rightly call
God;
Therefore:
Every question is the same,
Every answer is the same,
Every question asks What am I?
Every answer replies: God
(God is self-obsessed!)
Every moment of experience,
Is a complete and correct
Answer to the question;
But because an answer
Always leads to more questions,
Due to both question and answers
Being of the same nature,
As I previously explained,
Therefore
What am I?
The answer to the question

Must repeat the same question
Over and over again
Forever
Into infinity,
As part of its answer;
God never did stop
Asking the same question,
And never will;
Maybe now you see:
Questions, answers, experience, knowledge,
Existence, everything, nothing, infinity, God,
Truth, resistance, evolution, consciousness,
You, me, desire, destiny, good, evil, sensations,
Intention, struggle, worry, karma, emotions,
Life, death, beginning, ending, and this book,
They are all the same thing;
Everything is consciousness,
Everything is God;
The answer is truth,
God is truth,
God is the question,
And the answer;
God is you,
And me,
God is everything,
And nothing;
You could think of it like this:
God stood up on stage and shouted
WHAT AM I?
The universe screamed back
GOD!
Then there was a lot of music,
Everyone kept chanting
GOD! GOD! GOD!
And we had a party
Forever and ever
Hmmmm
Isnt that heaven?
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108
What am I?
Coming home
I suppose
If you read this far,
And are not just
Flipping between pages,
Then there is something
That speaks to you;
Everything is determined
And so,
The only reason
You are reading this book
Is because
You want to,
You were meant to;
If you are not yet finishing
Getting lost,
Then you will hate me
For daring to speak
For God;
And so you should,
That is your karma;
But if you find beauty
Within these pages
Then I can help you
Find more,
If you so desire;
That is your karma;
Know first
That if this book speaks to you
You are already coming home,
It is already happening;
You may have good days
And bad days,
You may have good years
And bad years,
But you are coming home;
What am I?
We move at two steps forward

And one step back,
So that we can understand
What is happening;
If we moved only forward
We would not experience
The contrast;
So do not resent
The bad times,
They make the good times
Better;
Every end is a beginning,
So to experience your desires
Is to arrive at the same state you were
Before you desired them;
To face your issues and fears
Is to arrive at the same state you were
Before they became problems;
Reality is a fractal,
Hence all of existence
Folds back on itself;
You will always return home
As long as you keep moving;
You will always return home
As long as you dont refuse
To experience,
As long as you dont refuse
To feel;
Every path leads
To enlightenment;
Every road leads
Back home;
But if you are not moving
Then you are not getting anywhere;
Do not struggle,
Yet do not try to not struggle;
Do not resist,
Yet do not try to not resist;
Desire to return home,
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110
What am I?
Yet do not desire;

There is only one way
To desire without desiring,
And that is to desire
What you do not desire;
Face your fears,
Bring out your issues,
Seek boredom,
Make yourself upset;
If you seek happiness
You are asking to be shown
The depths of unhappiness,
Because that is the only way
To know happiness;
But what if you were
To seek unhappiness?
Trying to be happy
Results in unhappiness;
Trying to be unhappy
Results in happiness;
If you seek unhappiness
It will be shown to you,
Yet you asked for it
And so there will be no struggle,
Instead you will rejoice
In unhappiness
And in doing so
You will accept it,
At that moment
It will be vanquished;
The debt is paid;
It is OK to desire happiness
And unhappiness
At the same time;
There is no contradiction,
You can desire to obtain happiness
By exploring unhappiness
And it will work;
What am I?
This is not a trick,

This is escaping
The trick,
This is the way;
The piper must be paid,
So pay him;
You cannot
Escape karma
But you can
Repay it;
Be honest with yourself:
Often what you are feeling
Is not truly boredom,
It is the distress of
Being disappointed that
You are bored,
Or the feeling of
Thinking youre not progressing
Because youre disappointed at yourself
For being bored,
Or that this whole thing is stupid
And will not work;
Leave the boredom for later,
Approach the top-most feeling first,
Explore this feeling,
Swim in it,
Ask for more of it;
Layer by layer
They will peel away,
Until only the boredom remains,
And then that too
Will be gone;
Time is an illusion,
You do not need to speed up
The process,
It will happen whatever you do;
The same natural processes
Make life,
When the conditions are correct,
As cause death,
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112
What am I?
When the conditions are correct;

That said,
If you want to speed it up
You can;
There are no rules,
You can wish for more wishes;
You can desire to return home faster;
But if you ask
Without complete confidence,
You will return home slower;
However,
You can ask to return home faster,
Then feel the distress of slowing it down,
Then ask for more of this distress,
Feel it,
Accept it,
And there you go;
What will happen is
You will stop caring
About making it faster,
Which will make it faster,
Which is what you wanted
In the first place,
Yet you no longer care;
You can use this method
To satisfy all desires,
To repay all karma,
At any speed;
Although dont forget
To also address
Your impatience;
You cannot make a mistake,
Everything is meant to be;
It is not wrong to desire
To return home,
Just pay the piper
For that too;
As you get closer,
What am I?
It speeds up;
Everything becomes
Obvious;
All illusions
Fall away;
Questions are answered
Faster,
And more obviously;
Desires dissolve away;
Experiences from previous
Unanswered questions
Come to pass;
It is a feedback loop:
Just as one who wants to be depressed
Easily makes themselves
More depressed,
And doesnt stop
Until they hit the bottom,
So too in the other direction,
Once it has begun
It pushes itself forward,
Accelerating,
And doesnt stop
Until it hits
The top;
There is much pain
To be expressed
In all of us,
Since we practice lifetimes
Of suppression;
Yet understand
It will come out anyway;
It is more pleasant
If it does so
On your own terms;
Once the pain is expressed
You are free;
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114
What am I?
Why a new path?

The path I have presented to you
Is not different from paths before suggested
Throughout our history;
There is only one path:
The path of least resistance;
This is the path
That nature takes,
And this is the path
That we must take;
However there are different methods
For achieving non-resistance;
If you were to watch your breath,
Every inhale and exhale,
And abandon all else,
It would lead you to many realizations
And eventually to enlightenment;
You would catch up with your experiences,
You would let go of attachments,
Desires would either fade into nothing
Else come to pass of their own accord;
And yet
Do you really want to be
A stone Buddha?
Do you really want to live
In a monastery?
Detached from the world?
Are we not here
To live?
Why even be born
If you only intend
To spend your life
Meditating?
This was a method that was successful
For some individuals,
Yet every method is successful,
If taken to its extreme;
What am I?
You could simply count forever,

And youd eventually become enlightened;
You can do anything as long as
Its not generating more resistance,
And all of it will result
In enlightenment,
Because that is where
All roads lead;
We live in the 21st century,
We live in a fast-paced and active world,
Constantly surrounded by distractions,
Constantly tempted with pleasures;
We are used to this;
Let us play our advantage,
Let us use what we are,
Not pretend to be what we are not;
This is why I do not suggest
Self-discipline,
We do not live in the same world
As the previous masters,
They are gone;
Their methods are not
For the masses,
Their methods are
For monks;
I have no desire
To become a monk;
I am here
To live;
How about you?
Not only is my method more suitable
To the world in which we live,
It is more certain,
And it is much quicker;
By pulling our desires out,
Actively, rather than passively,
We can achieve enlightenment in a shorter time
And we do not get distracted,
Because every distraction
Is part of the plan;
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What am I?
Nothing can ever be known entirely

To know something entirely
Would be to know the thing objectively,
Yet there is no objectivity;
We can never fully know
Ourself;
The answer to
What am I?
Is infinite experience,
So we can say that
God is infinite;
But you see
Infinity cannot see itself
Because nothing is outside of it,
And so there is no viewpoint
From outside of it
To look in;
Infinity knows an infinite number
Of ways to look at itself,
Which together make for
A whole picture,
Yet there is no single entity
That ever sees the whole picture
At once,
Because any time you look at infinity
You can always add more to it;
There is always more
Within infinity;
Hence for us to say
That there is one consciousness
Is actually wrong;
It would be equally valid
To say that there are
Infinite consciousnesses,
Or no consciousness,
Or any finite number of consciousnesses;
Are all equally valid,
It is saying the same thing;
What am I?
I said before that there is one

Because that is easy to understand,
Yet the truth is something
Difficult to explain,
One must understand
The nature of infinity;
Infinity is everything,
And so infinity is infinite,
Yet infinity can also be thought of
As whole and complete,
Making infinity one;
Yet the perspective of infinity
Has nothing outside of itself to reflect on,
Hence there is no contrast,
Making infinity identical
To nothing;
It is not that infinity
And nothing
Just look the same,
Truly they are
The same thing;
We dont even need
Two words;
I said before that you can dissolve
Into the one consciousness,
But in truth you cannot;
It is true and not true;
The reason you cannot
I can explain in two ways:
Firstly that there is always more
Within infinity,
Secondly that if you were everything
Then you would be nothing,
There would be nothing to reflect on,
There would be no division
Of knower and known,
And so there would be no experience,
And if there were no experience
You would not know
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118
What am I?
That you existed,

Which is the same as to not exist;
Hence you simply can never
Dissolve into infinity;
The reason why I previously said
That you can dissolve into infinity
Is because you can dissolve into
Subsections of infinity,
Which themselves are infinite,
But because infinity is infinite
When you get there you always find
That there is more;
And so you can experience
Infinity,
And so you can know
Infinity,
And yet there will always be
More to experience,
There will always be
More to know;
Hence to experience
Everything,
It to experience
Nothing;
You can experience an infinity
Of everything,
You can know everything,
And yet,
There will still be
Infinitely more;
This is Gods nature,
This is your nature:
You are eternal,
Unchanging,
Yet ever growing,
Infinitely powerful,
Infinitely good,
Infinitely evil,
Perfect;
What am I?
The purpose of existence

I already spoke of
The meaning of life,
And yet the meaning of life
Is based on
Your individual desires,
Your individual destiny;
Above this
Is the purpose of existence,
Which spans more than just
Your lifetime;
The purpose of existence,
You should already understand,
Is for the one consciousness,
Which is you,
To know itself;
But how does this relate
To you as an individual?
The primary purpose of
Every being,
In every universe,
Is as an ambassador;
Existence is infinite,
There can be no single entity
That knows God,
Because God is infinite,
And God cannot see
Itself;
Hence every part of creation
Is another knower
To look back at God;
God wants to know
How you look at him-her;
God wants to know
What he-she is to you;
God wants to be known
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120
What am I?
By you;
You will interpret God,
And existence,
Which is all part of God,
In your own way
That is unique to you;
This is a new perspective,
It is another way
The one consciousness can
Look at itself;
Hence to know God,
Which is the same as to say:
To know your Self,
Is the primary purpose
Of your existence,
And most importantly
Your interpretation
Will be entirely unique,
A novel way of looking at your Self,
Which is not shared
By any other being;
All interpretations
Are equal,
None of more valid
Than any other;
Interpretation;
God can never see
Him-Her Self
Objectively;
There is no objectivity;
But there are
Infinite
Different
Interpretations;
God wants to know
What is God for a cat?
God wants to know
What is God for a rock?
What am I?
Beyond enlightenment
As I previously explained,
You can never dissolve
Back into one with everything,
Because within infinity
There is always more,
And even if it were achieved,
You would not know you were there
Because there would be nothing
To experience;
Perhaps you can see
Where this leads?
Since mankind is currently
In the state of being lost,
Just on the turning point,
Not yet being found,
Enlightenment seems like
Such a distant concept;
Yet it is not;
There will be a time,
Soon enough,
When enlightenment will be
Common;
All beings first amass karma
And then pay it back;
It is inevitable,
There is no other way to exist;
Hence all beings become enlightened:
Yes, there are enlightened trees,
Yes, there are enlightened rocks;
Otherwise what is the point
Of the rock?
Likewise what would be the point
Of your own life,
If you were not going
To come back to God
And know your Self?
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122
What am I?
If you did not achieve enlightenment,

You would not be a good ambassador,
You would not be fulfilling the purpose
Of your existence;
All beings achieve enlightenment,
It is inevitable;
Further,
Since you can never see all of God
At once,
At what point
Do you stop discovering more?
At this point I will define
An individual being
Not as a chain of desires,
But as a point of perspective;
Your identity exists
Uniquely
As your interpretation,
As the way you look at
Existence;
And if everything is an interpretation,
Why destroy any particular interpretation?
Surely the more interpretations
The better?
God would never destroy
Any individual interpretation
When it can be used
To look at some new way
To see God;
Plus would you ever desire
To dissolve into nothing
When there is always more
Within infinity
To explore?
You would have to experience
Everything with your identity
Before you would desire
To lose your identity;
Yet there is always more in infinity,
What am I?
And so it would never happen,

You would never wish it,
And so God never wishes it,
And so it never happens;
And so you never do dissolve,
You never stop,
You never lose your identity,
Although it does change and evolve;
Every stage of your development
Looks like this:
First you start in a state of non-resistance,
Which is the state of enlightenment,
Knowing you are one with everything;
The only desire you have at this point
It to know yourself better:
What am I?
Which is the one desire which can never be extinguished,
Because there can always be more;
Hence you deliberately lose yourself in creation,
Which spawns desire to know
All the novel things within this new realm,
Which is to amass karma,
Until there are no more distractions,
Which leads to paying back the karma,
Which means to experience your remaining desires;
And having fully experienced all that the realm
Has to offer,
You return to the God,
Which is the state of enlightenment,
At which point you have a new interpretation
Which you use to look at God again
In your returned state of being one with everything;
And then
You will go off again in a new direction,
Losing yourself in a new creation,
And then you will come back to God,
At which point you will be one with everything again,
With a slightly different interpretation of everything;
And you will keep doing this,
Because there are infinite new experiences;
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124
What am I?
Sometimes you will forget yourself,

Like we have done here on Earth,
So that you can lose yourself more completely,
Because that can be fun;
And sometimes you will have the experience
Without forgetting who you are;
The choice is yours,
You will do one until you get used to it,
Then do the other;
At each stage
The infinity that you experience
Is only a subset of infinity,
Because there will be whole regions
Of existence,
That you have no way to interpret,
Hence no way to reflect,
Hence no way to know
That you know about them;
Yet a subset of infinity
Is also infinite,
And there are infinite subsets;
There is no limitation
On the realms you can visit;
If you want to be Harry Potter,
You can be;
And in doing so you will create
All of the other characters,
And the entire universe in which it exists,
All as conscious living beings,
Who themselves eventually become enlightened,
And continue their exploration,
One day discovering that they exist in our realm
As fictional characters;
Although at that stage
It would be impossible to say
Whether J. K. Rowling had the idea first
Or that realm existed first,
It is the same thing;
Everything is life;
What am I?
Furthermore,
Because everything is consciousness,
Because everything is alive,
To experience anything
Is to merge into union
With another conscious being;
When you know something completely,
When you have experienced it fully,
There is no longer a separation
Between you and it;
This happens continuously
With more abstract beings
Like sensations and ideas,
Which we dont recognize
As conscious,
Yet is can also happen
With beings that are on
A similar level to our own;
You can know another being
And it can know you,
And in knowing each other entirely
There is no longer a separation,
Because it knows all of you,
And you all of it,
Hence you now have
The same perspective,
The same interpretation,
And hence
Two become one;
Just as earlier in creation
One thing was split
The knower and known,
After exploring on their own,
Can come back together
And merge their identities
Into one again,
Which is to return
To a more complete state,
With less separation from infinity,
And hence this experience is
Extremely desireable;
125
126
What am I?
This is the true union,

It is this merging
That is manifested in our world
As sex;
That is why sexual intercourse
Comes from an intense desire
To merge into one being
With the other person,
And always falls short
Because the desire cannot be achieved
Here on Earth;
We are just playing at it,
Like a child following her mother around
With a toy vacuum cleaner;
Everything is
Relationship;
You can go on exploring,
And go on merging,
You can merge with infinite beings,
And there will still be
Infinite new experiences
And infinite beings
To merge with;
You can merge infinite subsets of infinity
With infinite subsets of infinity
And there will still be the same number
Of infinite subsets of infinity
At the end
As there were
At the beginning;
Because within infinity
There is always
Infinitely more;
There is no beginning,
There is no end;
You have been doing this
Forever,
And you will continue to do this
Forever;
What am I?
A final note on interpretation

This is the point
Where I tell you
That in order to know truth
You will need to find it
On your own;
Do not become attached
To what I have written
In this book,
To do so would be
To mistake the map
For the territory;
This book is a humble finger
Pointing to the moon;
Please do not become attached
To the finger;
Please do not mistakes words
For truth;
Please do not mistake the label
For the object;
Please do not mistake the symbol
For the thing it represents;
This book is my failed attempt
To communicate my interpretation
Of mystical experiences I have had;
Even if these experiences could be
Communicated in language,
Which they cannot,
Still you would need to find
Your own interpretation;
I could write this entire book again,
Saying that there is no God;
Even the concept of question and answer
Is my interpretation
Because Im a philosopher at heart
And so I like that interpretation,
It would be equally valid to say
That getter and giver are the root,
127
128
What am I?
With question and answer a manifestation of that,

Or that only creation exists as one thing
And that the binary question/answer
Are an illusion;
I could say resistance is an illusion;
I could say that the universes nature,
Gods nature, your nature
Is void
Instead of infinity;
I could say that there is no one consciousness
Only infinite interacting consciousnesses;
All of these would be
Equally valid interpretations;
You must find your own
Interpretation,
Your interpretation may or may not
Be similar to mine,
Yet it will be yours;
I do not claim
To have taught anything,
The best I can hope for
Is that Ive shaken you up enough
To start asking
Your own questions;
I hope not to have created anything,
But to have destroyed
False beliefs,
To have opened
Doors,
To have expanded
Possibilities;
This book is nothing,
It is a pretty picture
Painted for mine
And your
Pleasure;
Thank you
For reading;

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WHAT AM I?

What Am I? Or, The Nature of Existence

Copyright 2016 Alasdair Forsythe

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The nature of Self.............................................................................................................. 52

Existence exists only by comparison

Imagination itself also being an experience;

You only understand what you want to

To intellectualize is not to understand

Take everything to extremes

Where does knowledge come from?

Then it follows that

The nature of emotions

The nature of good and bad

For as long as you care about distress,

All secrets are hidden in plain sight

Every question is the same question

Would be making assumptions,

Questions and answers

You cannot fool yourself,

The beginning of creation

Because in order to answer the question

Any category of beings

The one consciousness

With something else instead,

And by removing something

How not existence works

You only know something is there

Time and space

How and why mathematics exists

But I hope you understand

Hence when you get lost enough,

Subjective reality is independent

That the creation event occurred;

Because they want to,

The nature of Self

The most important thing

What sees through your eyes?

The interpretation module

You dont need to know

There is no separation between physical and spiritual

But it doesnt end here:

The path of least resistance

Thinking doesnt help them come,

That either everything is evil

Sat on the right-hand of God

The opposite of evil

Everything has purpose and reason

The meaning of life

This will hurt you,

The Nazi concentration camps

Do we have free will?

What happens when we die?

You will go to heaven,

What are dreams?

Whenever anything happens

We desire novel experience

Memory is not your friend

What are lower and higher states of consciousness?

If you were walking