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Get A Life!
How to Live the Life
You Want - Everyday!
Special Edition By Jim M. Allen,
for subscribers of
BigIdeaCoach.com Jim Allen’s
Big Idea Ezine
The Big Idea Coach
Page
BigIdeaCoach.com
8607 Capistrano Way
Odenton, MD 21113-3412
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JimAllen@CoachJim.com
http://www.BigIdeaCoach.com
http://www.CoachJim.com
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bigidea@add.ms00.net
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Page 3
Get A Life!
CONTENTS
Introduction. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 4
It’s Your Life, So Live It! . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 6
Know What You Want. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 10
Know How You’ll Get It. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 15
Work Your Plan (And Love Your Work). . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 18
What To Do When Nothing Works. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 20
Where Do You Go From Here? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 23
Appendix A: Great Books to Grow Your Life & Mind. . . . . . . . Page 26
Appendix B: Special Bonus Audio Interviews. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 28
Author’s Bio. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 29
Author’s Note:
All client names and identifying characteristics have been changed.
The scenarios, situations, and results are real.
BigIdeaCoach.com
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Introduction
Carpenters fashion wood; fletchers fashion arrows;
the wise fashion themselves.
- Buddha
Are you ready to get a life? I don’t mean just any life or the same old
life you’ve been living up to now. I mean the life you really want. The life
you’ve always dreamed of. A perfect life. Made just for you.
Sound impossible? It’s not. Oh, it takes some thought (and a bit of
time and effort), but the reality of you living a happy, fulfilled, prosperous
life is very, very possible.
I know because I help people create this reality in their lives every
People need to be made more day. Before helping others do this, though, I did it for myself….
aware of the need to work at
learning how to live because
life is so quick and sometimes In 1999, I was working what I thought would be my big
it goes away too quickly. break into an exciting career in television management. I was
- Andy Warhol
Studio Operations Manager for a cable television network in
Washington D.C. It was challenging work, in an exciting city, and the pay
was, well, more than I’d ever made before.
BigIdeaCoach.com
By all accounts, I had everything going for me. I “should” have been
happy. Instead, I was miserable.
I was working more than twelve hours a day – from early afternoon
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until past midnight – and spending another two hours commuting to and
from home.
Except for when I crawled into bed each night, I only saw my wife on
weekends. And on the weekends, tired and stressed from work, all I wanted
to do was sleep. I dreaded Monday mornings and the thought of having to
go back to work. The job that had once filled me with hope now just filled
me with dread.
One night, after a particularly stressful day, I came home and col-
lapsed on the couch. Sitting there in the dark, alone, I said to myself, “There
has to be a better way. Life has to be easier than this.”
So I searched and studied, read and took courses. And here
Nature intended that we I am two years later, running my own business, working from
should need no great
equipment for living happily; home, healthier and happier than ever before.
each one of us is able My hunch was right.
to make his own happiness…
There is a better way. Life can be easier.
--Seneca
If you’re ready and willing to accept that it’s OKAY to be
happy, to enjoy your life, then you’ve already taken the first step towards
living the life you really want. Now it’s just a matter of continuing that jour-
ney.
So what are you waiting for? Let’s go…
BigIdeaCoach.com
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Life is a gift you’re given when you’re born. Living is what you do
with that life. Whether you like it or not, you are responsible for most of
what happens in your life. If you’re not living the life you really want, then
it’s all down to you.
Let me say that again, because this may be the most important lesson
in this entire book:
doctoral degree in business finance. As we spoke, I could tell John was very
unhappy with the idea.
BigIdeaCoach.com “Why,” I asked John, “are you pursuing a goal that doesn’t make
you happy?”
“Three reasons: My wife, my mother and my father,“ he said. “They
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Most of our beliefs and values are given to us when we are children.
We learn them from our parents, teachers, and friends. As adults, we need
to evaluate our beliefs and make sure they are our own.
There's a famous t-shirt that states: "It's hard to soar like an eagle
when you're surrounded by turkeys."
It’s both funny and true: your friends can either lift you up or bring
you down.
While there are many aspects of our health that are related solely to
genetics, environment and exposure, we can make an enormous impact on
our basic health through things like diet and exercise.
7. The environment you live in - Your home, where you live, what
amenities you have available to you.
How much you control all of the other aspects of your life will deter-
mine what type of legacy you leave behind. Just keep in mind that all your
actions, words, and knowledge you share while you are living become the
gift that you leave when you are gone.
In my experience, the ten areas I listed above are the ones that people
most frequently abdicate their responsibility. Ask yourself if you are ced-
ing control of one (or more) of these areas to someone else. The sooner you
assume control, the sooner you’ll be living the life you truly want each and
BigIdeaCoach.com every day!
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It’s time to get specific about what it is that you really want in – and
from – your life, your career, your family, friends, and associates.
It’s time for you to define your life and what’s important to you.
What are the things that you absolutely must have in order to be happy?
BigIdeaCoach.com
What do you need in order for your life to be perfect?
Pull out a piece of paper and start writing down your answers to
these questions. The list you create will become a sort of “checklist” for
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you, letting you check where you are versus where you want to be.
Most people never actually do this, they never define their wants and
needs. Instead, they go through life thinking they know, latching on to other
people’s hopes and dreams, desiring all sorts of ‘stuff’ they think will make
them happy (such as cars, clothes, jewelry, etc.) but they never focus on
their real needs.
Sit down with your pen and paper and get busy being specific about
Success is half won when what it is you want. Create a list of perfect or “ideal” life items.
one gains the habit of setting
Elements that, when you have them, will help create your perfect
goals and achieving them.
Even the most tedious chore life.
will become endurable as You may find it helpful to put a heading at the top. Some-
you parade through each day
thing like:
convinced that every task,
no matter how menial or
boring, brings you closer to My life will be perfect when…
fulfilling your dreams. or
- Og Mandino I know I’m living my ideal life when I…
If you have trouble defining things that way, use the following ques-
tions as a prompt to get you started:
These questions will get you started on defining your ideal life.
Whether you use them exactly as they’re written or change some of them to
fit your particular need doesn’t matter.
Your list may not even be a list. You might write it out like a short
story, a poem, a recipe, a mathematical equation or something else alto-
gether. Use whatever format helps you define your ideal life, so you can
start living it right way.
There is nothing that you MUST include or exclude – it is, after all,
your list. There are a few guidelines, however, that I encourage you to con-
sider:
As you create your list, don’t just focus on the stuff you want (that is,
the materialistic things like cars, clothes, jewelry, etc.). Include the emo-
tional and non-materialistic aspects of life. Also, consider your personal vi-
sion, mission, and purpose for yourself and the world.
Vision, mission, and purpose can be big ideas to grasp, but once you
do, you’ll you have a whole new perspective on your life. When you define
these you’ll know:
1. Your picture of what you want for the world. (That is, your VI-
SION.)
2. WHY you are here, who you have to be to help create that vision.
(PURPOSE)
BigIdeaCoach.com By way of example, I’d like to share my Vision, Mission, and Purpose with
you:
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It may not seem like much, but these three definitions help me make
very important decisions about what I need in my life at any time, who I
choose to associate with, and how I will approach different opportunities.
They provide useful guideposts or benchmarks for me and help me answer
the question, “Am I truly doing what I want to do with my life?”
BigIdeaCoach.com
Don’t confuse NEEDS with WANTS. A need is something that you
require (food, water, shelter, love) in order to survive. A want is something
that you desire (to work from home, a new car, etc.)
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When putting your list together, keep NEEDS and WANTS sepa-
rated. Once you’ve finished your list, focus on meeting your NEEDS first
and move on to your WANT list after you’ve done so.
If you focus on wants before all your needs are met, you’re going to
have difficulty. Something in your life (time, money, health, relationships)
will always be out of balance if you continue satisfying your wants before
taking care of your needs!
Double-check the source of your wants before you add them to your
list. Are they really yours? If yes, fantastic! If no, do you really want it on
your list?
Some wants may be shared, such as the desire of you and your
spouse to live on a farm, and that’s fine. But, if it’s simply the goal of your
spouse and you hate farms, you might want to leave it off your
…[T]he more realistic and at-
tainable people’s goals are, the list until you and your partner have addressed the issue.
more likely they are to feel
good about themselves. People Think Big AND Realistically
who conclude their goals are
out of reach are less than 1/10th Face facts: you can do most anything you want, but you
as likely to consider them-
probably can’t do everything. There will be limitations to the
selves satisfied with life.
- Diener & Fujita amount of time, money, and energy you can commit to a par-
ticular goal. It’s great to have big dreams and goals, but if you
aren’t realistic, all you are doing is setting yourself up a life of failure and
disappointment.
As you add things to your list, add those items that are possible, or
that might be possible if you have the right support (again, the right
amount of time, energy, money, education, etc.). Consider whether or not
this thing you want is a real possibility…. or is it just a pipe dream?
BigIdeaCoach.com When your list is reasonably complete, when it contains your current
desires for what you want for your life, then you’re ready to take the next
step in bringing these goals, dreams, wants and ideas to life.
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You now have defined what it is that you want from life. It’s time to
sit down and figure out how these dreams are going to come about.
You need a plan.
Just knowing you want something wont’ make it real. You have to fig-
ure our how you are going to get it.
My client Sharon always talked about her desire to cruise the Carib-
bean. She would spend our coaching sessions talking about how much she
BigIdeaCoach.com wanted to drift along the ocean, visit one tropical island after another, and
have people wait on her hand and foot. But that’s all she did with the idea:
talk.
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BigIdeaCoach.com
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You probably don’t need this chapter, but I want to make two quick
points…
One:
A plan only works if YOU work the plan.
The best plan in the world is worthless if you don’t actually put the plan
into action, and the only person who can do that is YOU. It won’t matter
how much you hope, wish, want and dream. It won’t matter how many
self-help, self-improvement books and articles you read. If you don’t take
BigIdeaCoach.com action, you won’t reach your dreams.
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Two:
Have fun!
No matter where you are in the process of creating and living the life
you really want, have fun!
Enjoy what you’re doing. Enjoy the process, even the challenges and
the setbacks. The path to making your dreams come true may difficult, but
quite honestly, if you’re not having fun, not doing it right!
BigIdeaCoach.com
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What To Do
When Nothing Works
Obstacles cannot crush me.
Every obstacle yields to stern resolve.
He who is fixed to a star
does not change his mind.
- Leonardo da Vinci
Okay, this is the emergency chapter. This is what you read when you’ve
done everything else suggested in this book, but you’re still not living the
life you really want.
When you’re doing everything you can think of but nothing seems to
work….
you are going to do, but keep working towards your goal.
Is there another step you need to take? More information you need to
get? Additional help you must have? Do you need more time to complete
this plan than you’ve given yourself?
Are you trying to do too many projects at once? Are you working on a
want before all of your needs are met? Is there another project that must be
completed before you can finish this one?
Is this something that you really want? Is making this desire a reality
really important to you? Is it something that YOU
SEND IN THE PROS!
want or something you were doing for someone Completely, 100% stuck? Consider
getting help from the following
else?
resources:
Family/Friends
ASK FOR HELP. Whether pride or mere stub- Clergy
bornness, many people could reach their objec- Therapist
Counselor
tives a lot faster if they simply asked for help Psychiatrist/Psychologist
Coach
when they needed it. Organizer
BigIdeaCoach.com Often times we’re surrounded by brilliant, suc- Image consultant
Business consultant
cessful people who are more than willing to assist Financial advisor
Debt Counselor
us if we just let them know we could use a hand.
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Wayne Gretzky once said, “One hundred percent of the shots I don’t take,
don’t go in.” Likewise, you’ll never get the help you don’t ask for!
BigIdeaCoach.com
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If you’ve been working hard at applying the ideas in this book and have
started living the life you truly want, you may wonder, as many do, what
happens now? Where do you go on your path of personal development?
I can’t answer those questions for you. Not exactly, that is. The real an-
swers are for you to decide:
I am happy to leave you to think about those answers. But before I do, I
would like to leave you with a few remaining ideas…
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Far from being finished, your adventure in living your ideal life is
just beginning. There are many more great lessons to be learned and many
great ideas to consider. Keep pushing yourself to grow in new ways every
day. Expose yourself to new ideas and new points of view. How?
2. Take a class.
You can share what you know, and learn a lot about what you don’t,
by spending part of your time focusing on others and their needs.
BigIdeaCoach.com
I once heard it said that we only truly die when we stop learning. So
stay alive, stay active, and keep learning!
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Use Everything
Humorist Erma Bombeck once said, "When I stand before God at the
end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left
and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'."
Every day use all of the skills, talents, and knowledge you have been
given. Don’t ignore or overlook any of your gifts as you continue to work
and grow your perfect life. Challenge yourself to live up to - and exceed –
your potential every day.
I do hope you’ll get started today following the steps I’ve outlined in
this book:
We ask ourselves, who am
I to be brilliant, • Take responsibility for your life
gorgeous, talented,
and fabulous? • Define what it is that you truly want
Actually, who are you
• Plan how to make those desires real
not to be?
You are a child of God. • Put your plans into action
Your playing small
doesn’t serve the world.
• Adjust as necessary
- Marianne Williamson
Appendix A:
Great Books to Grow Your Mind & Life
I am hopeful that you’ll find this short ebook just the first book
of many that you’ll read as you work to create the life you truly want
to live. Below you’ll find some of my personal favorites, books I regu-
larly recommend to clients and friends.
For more information on any book, or to order from Ama-
zon.com, just click on a book’s title.
BigIdeaCoach.com
Page 28
Appendix B:
Special Bonus Audio Interviews
Bonus Item #1:
AudioMotivation.com’s Andy O’Bryan interviews
The Big Idea Coach™, Jim Allen, (24 minutes).
Click here to listen!
To listen to these audios, you will need an active internet connection and a sound program
such as a RealAudio Player or Windows Media Player on your computer.
Page 29
Author’s Bio:
Jim M. Allen
Jim M. Allen, The Big Idea Coach™, is a professional Life, Business, &
Guerrilla Marketing Coach based in Maryland. A member of the International
Coach Federation, he is a graduate of the Coach Training Program at CoachU, Inc.
and the certified Guerrilla Marketing Coach program.
Jim is known as the “Big Idea Coach” for his work with individuals, helping
turn their ideas into action, as they create powerful, profitable lives and businesses.
Since starting coaching in 1999, Jim has helped thousands of people from
around the world through one-on-one coaching, teleclasses, speeches, newsletters,
and articles. He has been featured in articles in: THE CHICAGO TRIBUNE,
READER’S DIGEST (United Kingdom edition), LA TERCERA (Chile), LAW GA-
ZETTE of Singapore, and ECONOMIC BULLETIN (Singapore), BALTIMORE
STYLE magazine, and hundreds of other professional publications, websites and
newsletters in North America , Europe, and Asia.
For more help on how to live the life your really want (or to subscribe to
Jim’s FREE bi-weekly newsletter) visit his website:
http://www.BigIdeaCoach.com
For more great ideas, subscribe to Jim’s bi-weekly internet newsletter, THE BIG
BigIdeaCoach.com IDEA by sending a blank email (from the address you want subscribed) to:
bigidea@add.ms00.net
Page
Special Bonus:
The Best Online Support Programs
There are many ways to get additional help and support as you start pursue
your personal and professional goals. From books and CDs to websites and one-on-
one coaching with a personal coach, there are literally thousands of ways that you can
get the inspiration, motivation, and encouragement you might need to achieve your
goals.
Below are 6 different programs that I recommend to anyone looking for addi-
tional support as they work seriously toward accomplishing their goals, no matter
what the goal may be.
And, to be honest, I’ve used each of these programs myself at various times in
the past few years. Many of them I still use. Why? Because it’s only the constant ex-
posure to new ideas that helps us think, act, and achieve in new arenas.
I encourage you to visit each of these to see how they might be of benefit to
you and your personal goal setting strategy. The ideas they have to offer are price-
less and may very well hold the key to unlocking your biggest dreams...
BigIdeaCoach.com