If I were in charge of the camp this is what

would be different
By Liam Salerno

Volume 44
Issue 8B
All the news
that fits, we
print!
Bob the snowball part 6!
By Corey Predella
HELP! Someone please poor bob started to cry
He ran but he started to melt oh what do I do then he
Thought maybe I could mess with the teleportation thing
And go back thats it! So he went back to the machine
and
Messed with the red cord then he pressed a button that
Said deactivate how bad could it be so he pressed it and
It said 10987654321 and the thing
exploded
And he got split in half and each half went flying into
opposite
Directions weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
To be continued

How to read peoples minds

By Ryan Kane
1. Close your eyes
2, Hold on to their shoulders
3. Think of something
4. You can stop step 1 and 2 now.
5. Tell them what you were thinking of on step 3
6. If they say Wow! Your magic!, then do it to all
of your friends and ask to perform it on the noon time
show.

Pool: 1. Bigger pool, 2. Hot tub

Lunch: 1. More chip choices, 2. Better lunch
choices
Cowbell: 1. Gong for cowbell
Thats ALL!

We couldnt live without plants, trees and

animals
By Alexa Orent
Humans and trees couldnt survive without each
other.
Trees and plants take in carbon dioxide and give
out
Oxygen for humans and animals while humans
and
Animals take in oxygen and breathe out carbon
dioxide.
We couldnt survive without each other.

Things to do when you are home alone and

bored
By Katie Predella
Note: I would highly suggest cutting out this article
and saving it.
1: Make a blanket fort with pillows
2: Grab some single player games, some stuffed
animals, and some snacks
3: Go outside and get a rock
4: Give the rock a face, and a name
5: Go get your pajamas on (you know you want
to)
6: Hang out in your blanket fort
7: Do things in your blanket fort
8: Make a mini movie of some crazy things that are
going on in your fort
9: Feel like a little kid again
Note: You can also do this when youre home sick.
It sounds embarrassing, but its actually really fun.

The Next Three Lives of Walker (5, 6, and 7)

By Sophie Biro

Millie the Unicorn

By Katie Predella

Walker was living on his yacht with his kids
Pam, Jam, and Winnie. Walker Anderson the 8th had
already become a famous singer and had detached from
his parents. He was a very famous singer and he often
came back to the Yacht for time with his family. Winnie
became a great cook and she stayed with her parents to
cook for the family. Jam and Pam were great comedians
and they made everyone laugh. They probably got the
humor from their father, who created why the chicken
cross the road? Walker stayed on his yacht until he
got very seasick, so they turned the yacht into a house
and moved it onto a small, deserted island called The
Royal Carrabin. This is how the line of cruise ships was
made. This island was just big enough for their yacht,
which was over a mile long. Thats just how rich Walker
was! He and Sarah opened up a store called Dangelos
because Sarahs last name was Dangelo. This is now a
famous store, so when they money came in they donated
it to themselves, (another way of saying they put it in
their savings account) and never touched it again.

The yacht they lived on was called big beauty,
and it had 20 swimming pools, 100 bedrooms, 200
bathrooms, and A LOT more things. They hosted many
parties for famous people like them. Sometimes the
parties they held had over 100 people. This is where the
large amount of rooms came in handy! Walker learned
the play the sousaphone, and he became very good at
it. He was the best in the world! (As if that is hard to
achieve, he was the only one that even knew what it
was). His composer name was Beethoven (this guy has a
great life) and he created many famous songs. He created
a line of clothing called Yo, which was a MAJOR fail.
It lost him most of his money, but he got it back VERY
soon when this line was a big hit. Walker designed for
himself, because he was only design for one famous
person. Since he was famous, he designed for himself
so that he wouldnt lose any money if his client hated
his stuff. Walker owned a rare species of giraffe called
spot mans, which had many spots. They lived in the fake
savannah on their yacht. Walker sold these animals to
a zoo and made money. One of the giraffes was named
computer. He was special because he could type and he
had an email it was giraffe.@gmail.com. Do NOT try
to email him. You will get sued by Walker, and since
he has SO much money he sues people for a lot. Soon
Walker was living on yacht, until he saw one little grey
hair

Millie the unicorn was wandering around

unicorn land when she saw a magical rainbow tree.
These trees where extremely rare, and this might
have been one of the last ones left. All the others
had been cut down to make rainbow potion factories
made out of rainbows. Millie knew she had to save
the magical tree, so she dug it up and planted it
in her yard full of flowers. One day, some ninja
unicorns came to her house, wanting to cut it down.
By this time, the tree was the last one that existed,
and Millie didnt want to give it up. She sent her
pink FurPufle pets to go after them. The ninja
unicorns just knocked them away. Millie went into
the yard and tried to argue with them, but the ninjas
just wouldnt give up trying to cut down the tree.
Millie finally agreed on one condition; that they do
it right in front of her so she could collect the seeds.
The ninjas agreed, but Millie didnt know that they
were really plotting to steal the seeds so they could
have all the trees, and rule the unicorn land. Millie
watched as they cut the tree down. It moaned and
groaned, and finally fell down. Millie and the ninjas
looked at each other, and the race was on! There
were only three seeds in each of these trees, and
each of the unicorns wanted them. One ninja pulled
a seed out of the fluffy cotton-candy-like leaves, and
held it up in triumph. The other ninja found another
seed, and put it in his secret vault with the other
seed. Then, when Millie was about to give up the
whole operation, she felt something. It was smooth
and soft, just like a seed! She pulled it out, and yes,
there was a rainbow tree seed in her hands. The
ninjas looked over and instantly tried to pull it away
from her, but with a little help of the fluffy leaves,
Millie managed to tickle the ninjas, and get her seed,
and the vault. She went inside, and locked her door.
She used some of the tree bark to reset the vault.
After she had reset the code, she stored the vault in
her house for her rainbow jewelry. She planted her
seeds in her protected yard, and the ninjas, well they
went to ninja land to steal more stuff. Millie made a
living off of selling natural leaf-bead necklaces, and
ultra-soft blankets out of the leaves. She cut down
the trees and sold them, but she always kept the
seeds and replanted them. Thats what will happen
to trees if we keep cutting them down, so dont use
too much paper, and recycle!

Is Everyone In a Joint Dream in a Coma?

By Caleb Lazar
What if this isnt really our world, just a
dream world, and everyone in this dream world is in
a coma in the real world, and we wake up when we
die and when someone is born, they are put into a
coma. That would have to mean that the real world
would have to be really dangerous, because people
would be put into comas every few seconds. Also,
there would have to be a huge population, because the
people in the dream world would only be a fraction of
the population of the real world, and there would have
to be a lot of people in the real world, because only
some of them are doctors and we would need doctors
to take care of us while we are in the coma. Also, it
could be that humans are not the dominate species,
and are very low on the food chain. It could also be
that we are not actually humans, but are some other
kind of creature. We would probably have to have
close to the same type of body structure so we could
do things that we normally do. Of course, it could be
that we are uncivilized creatures and are branching
out really far in our dreams by imagining that we did
have civilization. They might actually have some
civilization in the real world, because someone who
woke up from one of the comas could tell them about
it. The people who wake up might not remember the
dream, though. We might also not have politics or
political leaders, which might actually not be too bad.
I mean sure, it would be harder to make decisions,
but there would be a lot less arguing and we could
have world peace. Except that we might not inhabit
the whole world, but only a part of it, like penguins
only inhabit southern regions. We have to have some
type of medical things because otherwise we would
live forever in this world, because we would never
wake up. Time could go differently in the real world,
though, so years for us could be days for them, or
it could be centuries. Another thing is that the world
could look totally different than our world, and they
could have different geographical landmarks. They
might also not have gravity or know about forces
like we do. The forces might also be totally different.
Gravity might be reversed to push things up instead
of down. There might also not be any gravity at all.
Everything might just float around, which would be
really inconvenient. Or this could just be the real
world that we live in, and this is all just some crazy
idea of mine.

Test to see if you were paying attention!

Q1.) How much of the real worlds population would
we take up?
a.) Most of it
b.) Half of it
c.) Some of it
d.) I didnt say
Q2.) What did I say might not exist?
a.) civilization
b.) political leaders
c.) gravity
d.) a and b
Q3.) What did I wonder?
a.) if the forces would be the same
b.) if we would be humans
c.) how much of the world we would inhabit
d.) all of the above (and more!)
Q4.) Did this article bore you?
a.) TOTALLY
b.) *yawn* what were you saying?
c.) I totally didnt care about anything that you said
d.) I LOVED THIS ARTICLE! <3
Key:
Mostly As: You werent paying attention
Mostly Bs: You werent paying attention too
Mostly Cs: You werent paying attention either
Mostly Ds: Yay! You actually listened! Im so proud!
NOTICE: I hope that all of you who took the test got
Ds. You know, I just realized, usually Ds would be a
worse grade than As, Bs, or even Cs, but in this case,
its the best grade you can get!
NOTICE #2: The first notice does not mean that it is a
good thing to get a D on a report card, so please try not
to!

Myth time! This time: How Athens got

named!
Myth created by Eleanor Dunne

One day, on Athenas birthday, She
was getting lots and lots of presents. All of
them were wonderful, and as she thanked
them, Zeus said Oh no! I forgot to give you
your last gift! Athena said oh daddy dearest,
you dont have to give me a gift! Zeus bent
down on one knee, and presented her the
most wonderful gift of all. A city! Oh wow!
she gasped, looking at the gift card. Daddy,
you didnt! she exclaimed breathlessly. Its
the most wonderful beautiful, greatest gift in
the history of godly gifts! Anything for my
darling daughter Zeus said, happy from the
praise. Just then, Poseidon Stormed in, angry.
YOU PROMISED ME THAT CITY! He
screamed. Well, now Im taking it back!
said Zeus just as angrily. GRRRRRR! Said
Poseidon. GRRRRRR! Said Zeus. Just
as they were preparing to fight, Hestia, who
liked peace, stepped in between them. She
suggested that they have a contest. The people
of the city would decide which gift was better.
They both decided that the contest would be the
next day. The next day, at the city, Athena and
Poseidon met in the middle. Lord Poseidon,
earthshaker, God of the sea, shall go first. The
mayor of the city decided. With one powerful
stroke of his trident, he created a beautiful
fountain. The villagers were overjoyed! Now
they could drink whenever they wanted!
They mayor stepped up the fountain, thirsty,
and took a huge gulp. Immediately, he spit
it out. We cant drink SALTWATER! He
exclaimed. The goddess Athena, Goddess of
wisdom, strategic battle, and the law will go
next. He said quickly. With one sweep of her
hand, she created the olive tree. As the mayor
came to observe it, she explained its purposes.
The wood can be used for firewood, and
wood to build homes. It provides food, the
olive. And the oil from the olive can be used
to power lamps. She explained. The mayor
immediately declared Athena the winner, and
she named the city Athens.
THE END!

Percy Jackson
By Ryan Kane
Why is the whole world talking about Percy
Jackson? I mean, I know that the 1st movie stinks but
the Sea of Monsters is coming out soon so its no big
deal. If you hate it so much, just throw the DVD in the
trash.
Interview with Kippy
By Tillie Slosser
Tillie: How did you come up with the unicorn comic?
Kippy: Uh, it was like mind fart, it just came out of my
mind with along with rainbows and sprinkles.
Tillie: where did you get your drawing skills?
Kippy: Practice. Thats it.
Tillie: What is the next comic about?
Kippy: Tears. Thats all Im saying.
Look for the next unicorn comic!

The Great Time of Day War

By Christine Foster
Once there were two twins, Lumya, goddess of the
moon, and Solria, goddess of the sun. They were always
fighting, arguing, and/or bickering over whether the moon
or the sun should be up. When Lumya won, the moon
could be up for weeks, the mortals shrouded in darkness.
When Solria won, the mortals became exhausted from lack
of sleep Asta noticed the twins arguing and the mortals
suffering because of it. She went up to them and showed
them how they were affecting the mortals negatively.
Asta told them that each day, Solria and Lumya each got
half of the time, but sometimes Lumya became weaker
because Solria accidentally wounded her when they were
fighting, and didnt shine as much, sometimes not at all,
which is why there is twelve hours of night and day each
day and why the moon waxes and wanes.

The Importance
Communities
By Kippy Sage

Of

Wasps

In

Modern

Wasps are so pretty. They are just so majestic

and I love them. Wasps. They are so hardworking.
They build stupid nests just to scare little girls
because they dont care at all about anybody besides
wasps. Hardworking is proper grammar you dont
know what youre talking about, Word. Stop trying
to correct me. Im gonna stop saying everything I
type out loud now.
Suddenly my inspiration has been diapered.
Oh thanks autocorrect youre so helpful I love you.
Mind barf. Thats what this is. Im so concentrated
right now oh my gosh look at me Im not even
looking at the screen thats how concentrated I am
I just love looking at keyboards theyre so smooth.
I just dont like moist keyboards becausethats
disgusting. Moist is the grossest word ever. Please
dont use it like I just did its not cool. Not. Cool.
Hi person watching me typing youre so
cool ILY oh text talk how ILY so. OMG LIKE THIS
STATUS IF YOU KNOW WHAT ILY STANDS
FOR #YOLO #SWAG #IHAVENOLIFE. Why am
I even writing any of this? What is this? I dont
even
Oh hey Im back sorry I was talking to
someone but Im back because youre special to
me. Whoever you are reading this I just want you
to know that I LOVE CATS. Yeah I know, they
might be moody and kind of mean and apathetic
but I feel like thats just an outer shell and their true
selves are sweet and loving. You just need to look
past that hateful glare that penetrates your soul and
know thatokay yes that cat DOES want to kill
you. It would if it could. But that doesnt make
me stop loving them because theyre so cute and
lovable and I want to put a little dress on them and
brush their fur and put booties on them. OH MY
GOSH BOOTIES THATS SO MATURE. Booties
are small boots. Come on guys seriously. Youre
better than this.
Be my friend. Awkward silence because
my brain is really weird. HTML and Beyond. That
sounds so intense I-BRB ILY.
Okay Im back. So I guess that pause didnt
really transfer onto paper because really theres no
space there but in real life I was talking to someone
because Im so social (no Im not thats a lie).

Please be my friend. Oh by the way if youre curious as

to what I was talking about with that persontoo bad
its a secret Ill tell you at the end of this article. LOL
THUMBS UP IF YOU SKIPPED TO THE BOTTOM
OMG YOLOSWAG. Dont skip to the bottom thats
really mean I told you not to. Gosh.
Hey did you know that you cant breathe through
your nose if you stick your tongue out? Go on, try it.
Youre not gonna be able to.Did you try it yet?
Okay, so if you did try it like a cool kid then you might
be thinking What the butterflies that was totally easy I
breathed through my nose with my tongue hanging out.
You liar. Well, Id like to congratulate you because
you defied physics and also you looked like a dog.
Love yoooou <3
Okay in total honesty I have NO idea who
you are (unless I do know who you are in that case
I know who you are) so chances are I probably dont
love you but if I DID know who you are I would love
you (probably unless you dont like cats then I dont
like you leave me alone (Im just kidding please dont
take that personally (Yes this is a parenthetical phrase
within a parenthetical phrase within parentheses))) Oh
no this article is getting really long I should probably
end it now. Oh by the way if you skipped down here
from earlier: YOU LOST THE GAME.

Ask Me
By Grace Arendell
Q: Can you blink with your eyes closed?
A: yes, yes I can
Q: What your favorite movie and why?
A: Perks of being a wall flower because its an
amazing movie
Q: *** this question made no sense so this is what
I think it said*
Would you do something rather than questions in
the daily double?
A: Yes and I do.

Nina & Katie Rants: Justin Bieber & One

Direction
By Nina Kahn and Katie Predella

Katie: Ive always been annoyed with One Direction.
Their songs play on the radio too much, and everyone
still likes them! It really gets annoying when a song
plays on too much, especially their songs.

Katie: Wow. Thats so true! The words in all of their

songs are the same! Why do people bother listening to
different songs with the same meaning? I really dont
know.

Nina: And just when we thought Justin Bieber had

ran out of songs BOOM! 5 JUSTIN BIEBERS,
ALL IN ONE!

Katie: No, but yeah I agree on the hair thing. Theres this
one guy in 1D that had like a Mohawk thing, and then
shaved it all off and decided to grow it back at random
times! That just doesnt make sense! So what ticks you
off?

Katie: YES! The words to both Justin Bieber and

One Directions songs are almost exactly the same!
The message you get out of both of those musicians
(if you can even call them that) is Oh, I love my
girlfriend, oops! Dumped her! Oh man, now I feel
horrible I dont know why people pay to hear these
people complain about their lives in a song!
Nina: But the thing is, if you turn on a 1D or Justin
Bieber song, all you hear is Baby baby youre so
pretty baby baby! Its so stupid! And One Direction
was put together! They werent like Hey, lets
form a band! Simon Cowell (on X factor UK) just
plucked them up and forced them to sing together!

Nina: Me either. And whats with their hairstyles? Its

like a raccoon died on each of their heads! But you know
what really ticks me off?

Nina: People say that 1D replaces the Beatles. (facepalm)

Just because theyre British and have funny hairstyles
and girls swooning over them doesnt mean that theyre
exactly the same! The Beatles have quality music.
Katie: *gags and falls over* WHAT??????? PEOPLE
SAY THAT 1D REPLACES THE BEATLES! NO! As
Draco Malfoy says, WAIT TILL MY FATHER HEARS
ABOUT THIS!
Nina: For one thing, nice connection to Harry Potter!
And second, what has the music world come to?
Stay tuned for more rants!!!