Академический Документы
Профессиональный Документы
Культура Документы
Edited by
Michael W. Pratt
Wilfrid Laurier University
Barbara H. Fiese
Syracuse University
2004
Contents
Preface
1 Families, Stories, and the Life Course: An Ecological Context
Michael W. Pratt and Barbara H. Fiese
xi
1
27
55
77
109
135
vii
viii
CONTENTS
163
187
213
235
259
279
303
327
353
CONTENTS
ix
375
401
Author Index
419
Subject Index
433
Preface
This book tells the tale of recent psychological research and theory on family
stories. Family stories are broadly deWned as narrative accounts of personal
experiences that have meaning to individuals and to the family as a whole.
These chapters draw on work that focuses on the act of telling family stories,
as well as the content and coherence of family narratives. The process of telling
family stories is linked to central aspects of development, including language
acquisition, aVect regulation, and family interaction patterns. The messages
inherent in these stories serve to socialize children into gender roles, reinforce
moral lessons, consolidate identity, and connect generations. Thus the topic
of this book extends across traditional developmental psychology, personality
theory, and family studies.
Drawing broadly on the epigenetic framework for individual development
articulated by Erik Erikson, as well as on conceptions of the family life cycle
and the family as a dynamic system of interacting roles and relations, we
bring together contemporary examples of psychological research on family
stories and their implications for development and change at diVerent points
throughout the life course. The book is divided into sections that focus on
family stories at diVerent points in the life cycle, from early childhood, through
adolescence and identity formation, young adulthood and the establishment
of intimacy, midlife and parenting, and Wnally mature adulthood and its
intergenerational meaning in the roles of partner and grandparent. During
each of these periods of the life cycle, research focusing on individual development within an Eriksonian framework of ego strengths is highlighted.
The dynamic role of family stories is also featured here, with work exploring the links between storytelling, family process, intergenerational attachment, and development. We hope that our broad developmental focus can
serve to integrate the exciting diversity of this work, and foster further questions and research into the emerging Weld of family narrative.
Researchers use family narratives in a range of diVerent ways, and the
book attempts to illustrate the diversity of these analytic and conceptual
approaches. In early development, the research focus in much of the narrative
work on the family has been on childrens initial acquisition of narrative styles
xi
xii
P R E FAC E
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
P R E FAC E
xiii
1
Families, Stories, and the Life Course:
An Ecological Context
Michael W. Pratt
Wilfrid Laurier University
Barbara H. Fiese
Syracuse Unviersity
All happy families resemble one another, but each unhappy family is
unhappy in its own way.
Tolstoy, War and Peace
This is a book about families and the stories they tell. Because all families are
unique, they each have their own distinctive stories (even the happy ones,
despite Tolstoys famous remark), stories that express the lives of their individual members, but that are also something more than simply the sum of
those individual lives. In this opening chapter, we trace a psychological perspective on how the stories of individuals and their families are intertwined
across the life course, setting this tale within the larger ecological context of
understanding that psychological research has begun to contribute to thinking about the family across the life course. In particular, we identify three
properties of stories that broaden our understanding of their role in family
development. First, story telling is an act, through the process of which children learn to become competent narrators. Second, stories also have a message, such that children and adults may receive valuable lessons from them,
often ones consistent with cultural mores. Finally, stories aid in the creation
of a personal identity that evolves over time and integrates lived experiences
with meaning-making processes. These three ideas are key elements in all of
the discussion that follows.
The chapter begins by addressing the family, and its ecological and developmental contexts in the human life cycle. We then turn to a discussion of
1
P R AT T A N D F I E S E
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FA M I L I E S , S TO R I E S , A N D T H E L I F E C O U R S E
create a sense of family history and identity (Martin, Hagestad, & Diedrick,
1988). Families are thus stage, company, and audience for us all across the life
cycle, and stories are an intimate part of that process. So Shakespeares Hamlet, the prototype for humankinds identity search (Bloom, 1998), as he dies
asks Horatio to tell of his life, bound as it is so intensely to his own troubled
family history: Things standing thus unknown shall live behind me. If thou
didst ever hold me in thy heart, absent thee from felicity awhile, and in this
harsh world draw thy breath in pain, to tell my story. In this book, we want
to describe how families support, guide, or sometimes stiXe, the growth of
their members and their personal sense of self and identity, through the
stories they share and shape.
Families are distinctive in another way from other ecological inXuences in
the individuals life, not only as a special place, but also across time. Of all the
relationships into which the individual child enters, the bonds of the family
are most enduring. The relationships we have with kin are complex and
variable, but they are also life-long and indeed enduring across generations;
families are the places where these enduring bonds grow, develop, and are
often tested. We may choose and then reject our friends, our associates, even
our spouses, but the bonds of parents and children, or those of siblings, even
if troubled, are not so voluntary or so easily discarded, as Shakespeares King
Lear Wnds to his sorrow (and ultimately, relief ). In the midst of trying to
disown his children, Lear reminds us how impossible this really is to do:
How sharper than a serpents tooth it is to have a thankless child. Families
endure, even as they come to include new members through birth, adoption,
marriage or remarriage, and their perspectives and stances with respect to
the wider world may echo across the generations in the kinds of stories they
tell to new members (e.g., Fiese, Hooker, Kotary, Schwagler, & Rimmer,
1995). In this book, we explore these intergenerational functions of family
stories too.
The Ecological Context of the Family
In understanding and elaborating the role of the family in lifespan development, we will Wnd it useful to take a systems perspective. Parke and Buriel
(1998) make the valuable point that such a perspective leads us to a consideration of both the overlapping sets of dyadic relationships (e.g., parent-child,
marital, sibling) that are the building blocks of the family, and also of the
entire family unit per se, and its possible eVects on the lives of individual
family members. To date, however, most family research has concentrated on
roles and (at most) dyadic relationships, and has neglected to explore ways in
P R AT T A N D F I E S E
which the family as a whole may be characterized, and may serve to inXuence
individual child and adult development (Norris, Pratt, & Kuiack, 2003).
Reiss (1989) is one theorist who has directed attention to this issue. He has
suggested the importance of the role of family paradigms, myths, stories, and
rituals, each of which represent ways through which the family organizes and
communicates perceptions of the world to its members. For example, families
may have particular traditions or routines for daily events, such as dinnertime
or bedtime, and these routines may include special stories or rituals. These
family processes convey important and enduring views and values about how
the world should be understood, and these views and values may be passed
down through the generations as a result of such family interaction (Fiese,
Wilder, & Bickham, 2000; Parke & Buriel, 1998). Though our focus in this
book is speciWcally on family stories, it seems obvious that Reisss various constructs are overlapping, and that stories are embedded within family rituals,
like sharing meals or bedtime, and serve to convey family belief systems.
As noted, the family micro-system (to use Bronfenbrenners term) is itself
surrounded by wider social contexts that inXuence the developing individual,
both directly and indirectly, through their roles in inXuencing the familys
other members (Bronfenbrenner, 1979), all the way up to the broadest, cultural factors that shape the individual and the family through basic values and
views (the macrosystem). Several of the chapters in the current volume
focus on what may be conveyed about the self and the world in diVerent cultures through the kinds of stories that families tell and the storytelling patterns in which they engage (see chapters 12 and 13).
How are these various ecological levels involved in shaping family stories?
McAdams (2001) argues that individual life stories, which in his theory are
the core components of identity at least in modern societies, are constructed
based on the shaping context and resources provided by the wider culture.
Thus, one of the commonest of life stories available in North American society is an individual success script, the rags to riches, self-made millionaire
of Sunday morning telemarketing fame. In a broader sense, such an individualism theme has been a pervasive strain in American culture for centuries
(e.g., Bellah, Madsen, Sullivan, Swidler, & Tipten, 1985), and individuals
may readily adapt it in recounting their own life histories. The Bronfenbrenner ecological model indicates, however, that intermediate levels such as the
family and the subculture will likely be important in this process of formulating the individual life story as well (e.g., McGoldrick, Heiman, & Carter,
1993), through the mediating role they play in individual socialization as
embedded in the wider society. So, for example, grandchildren may, with
pride and a sense of family connection, tell stories of the ambitious and
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As Erikson (1963) recognized, the human life cycle has a basic, evolutionarily constructed pattern that is built into the ground plan of our species (obviously shared generally with other mammals, see Hrdy, 1999). Children are
born dependent and in need of extensive care. If they receive this care, they
grow toward puberty, and sexual and reproductive maturity. After a period of
adult reproductive potential, their fertility is over or reduced, and they ultimately reach old age and death. This basic, if stark, outline is biologically
guided and universal, and it entails the central role of the family (or at least
some caretaker) in enabling the childs growth and development. However, it
was also Eriksons (1963) genius to acknowledge, much more than his mentor Freud, the richness and complexity of ways in which human social life,
itself sprung from this biological potential, can organize the processes of
development across the life cycle.
Eriksons (1963) well-known model of eight stages in the individuals life
course is closely keyed to the developmental history of the family. The initial
Wve stages constitute a Wrst, childhood act in this play of life, with scenes
depicting the struggle of trust versus mistrust, autonomy versus shame, initiative versus guilt, industry versus inferiority, and identity versus confusion.
These are enacted typically within the family of our birth. The second act,
consisting of scenes of intimacy versus alienation, generativity versus stagnation, and integrity versus despair, takes place within the context of a more
extended and reconstituted family during the long period of human adulthood. Erikson (1963) described, with an anthropologists appreciative eye,
the ways in which diVerent cultures patterned these basic building blocks of
the human life span diVerently, and sought to trace the possible implications
of such diVerences.
Interestingly, the ways in which these stages or periods of the life course are
marked also appear to have been historically variable. In the past century, for
example, the average human life span in technologically developed countries
has increased substantially (perhaps 2025 years), and this change, along with
many other cultural and societal changes, has had a large inXuence on how
scholars (and others) describe the life course. The terminology of development in later life has thus become increasingly diVerentiated as researchers
have pursued these questions (e.g., into young-old versus old-old, Smith &
P R AT T A N D F I E S E
Fiese et al. (2000), drawing on the work of Reiss (1989), have articulated a
key distinction between the practicing and representing aspects of family life.
These two concepts are meant to capture the contrast between the familys
behavioral interactions, on the one hand, and the beliefs of its members that
both shape and respond to these practices, on the other. These two aspects of
family life are seen as mutually interactive and transactional in a dynamic
sense. However, they are exempliWed for research purposes by contrasting
types of constructs, notably family rituals in the case of practices, and family stories for beliefs (Reiss, 1989; SameroV & Fiese, 2000).
Despite this clear and useful conceptual divide, it is apparent that the
study of these two aspects of family life can each involve both practicing and
representing aspects. For example, family rituals, such as dinnertime, involve
ongoing, patterned social interactions that serve to stabilize the family and
provide meanings and expectancies for its members. These practicing aspects
of dinnertime rituals also can be studied in terms of the beliefs and values of
the familys members regarding their structure and purposes (e.g., Fiese &
Marjinsky, 1999). Most germane to the current volume, family stories have
both representing and practicing characteristics (Fiese et al., 1999). The content, themes, and coherence of speciWc family stories may be studied as reXective of the familys view of the world and its values and expectations for its
members (SameroV & Fiese, 2000). The process of a storys actual telling may
1.
FA M I L I E S , S TO R I E S , A N D T H E L I F E C O U R S E
also be studied, as a practicing aspect of the family, and this may reXect much
about the interpersonal climate and relationships within the family. Stories
are always for someone, as McAdams (1999) points out, always inherently
social and dialogical, like other aspects of discourse (e.g., Bakhtin, 1981), and
the ways in which they are negotiated between family tellers and listeners
are revealing and important to examine. For example, there may be cultural
diVerences in the extent to which young children are expected to be attentive
listeners, with Asian parents more likely than their North American counterparts to tell stories of moral lessons to the young child. These cultural differences may be construed as reXecting diVerent conceptions of the child
listener across these cultures, which in turn translate into diVerent associated
parental storytelling practices (chapter 13, this volume).
Fiese et al. (2000) go on to describe how the practicing and representing aspects of the family are instantiated at the various levels of the family discussed
above. Marital, parent-child, and sibling dyads, as well as triadic connections
within the boundaries of the family, all have both behavioral and representational aspects that have been studied in family research. For example, at the
level of triadic interaction, marital alliances in husbands and wives, as well as
parent-child alliances, have been compared during videotapes of dinnertimes
(Vuchinich, Emery, & Cassidy, 1988), indicating that mothers and fathers are
more likely to side with each other than with children, overall. The importance of these kinds of triadic relationship patterns is suggested by the work of
Katz and Gottman (1995), who found that families in which husbands tend
to withdraw from conXicts with their wives also tend to exhibit more intrusive
mother-child interactions and associated higher levels of child problems.
McHale further calls to our attention how mothers and fathers create co-parenting alliances that can either support healthy child emotional development
or disrupt the family system as a whole (McHale & Rasmussen, 1998).
As suggested by Parke and Buriel (1998), the whole-family level is crucial to conceptualize and understand, in addition to these multiple interactive
levels of the dyad and the triad within the family unit. Family rituals and stories are valuable ways of investigating this broadest level of analysis (Fiese
et al., 2000). Thus, family stories may vary in content as well as in their
coherence and depiction of the social world. For example, Oppenheim,
Wamboldt, Gavin, Renouf, and Emde (1996) showed that couples whose
conjoint narratives of their childs birth were more emotionally coherent and
expressive subsequently showed greater levels of marital satisfaction. Given
what we know of the couple system and the family, these family-level representations might be expected to be linked to child adaptation as well (Cowan,
Powell, & Cowan, 1998).
P R AT T A N D F I E S E
Despite the fact that rituals and stories are useful and important as indicators of whole family patterns and meanings, it also seems clear that they can
be studied with respect to dyadic or triadic aspects of family relationships,
and be informative in that regard. For example, a number of studies have now
investigated the relations between childrens narrative representations of the
parents caregiving and childrens own adaptation. It has been shown, for
example, that young childrens stories of the mother as responsive are associated with fewer behavioral problems in the child (Oppenheim, Nir, Warren,
& Emde, 1997; Sher-Censor & Oppenheim, chapter 4, this volume), and
that adolescents greater openness to their parents perspectives or voices in
stories of parent-child value teaching is associated with better subsequent
adjustment and a clearer sense of identity (e.g., chapter 7, this volume). Such
parent-child research reXects the fact that stories can be used to explore the
entire gamut of family relationships and their implications for growth and
development. There has also been considerable research on couple stories and
their relations to child outcomes (e.g., Fiese & Marjinsky, 1999). Interestingly, however, there has been little work on siblings stories and their potential implications to date. Also, current research in this domain as in others too
often has been focused on mothers, and has failed to investigate the stories
told by fathers (Cowan, 1999; Parke & Buriel, 1998).
So far, we have used the term narrative loosely and quite interchangeably
with respect to the everyday term stories. In this section, we provide more
context for the deWnition of narrative, as a particular modality of human
thought (Bruner, 1986), and explain its background in recent theory and
research within the Weld of psychology.
Understanding Narrative
Bruner (1986, 1990) has made a key distinction between diVerent ways of
knowing or thinking in human experience, contrasting the paradigmatic
mode, on the one hand, with the narrative mode on the other. Bruner
argued that these two distinctive ways of thinking are both widely available
to humans, yet are fundamentally distinct and not reduceable to one other.
Paradigmatic thinking is exempliWed by classiWcation of objects or events as
Wtting within a particular category; such thinking about these objects or
events (e.g., an orange) is governed by category membership, and all examples
1.
FA M I L I E S , S TO R I E S , A N D T H E L I F E C O U R S E
within the categories are treated as equivalent based on this shared property
(Polkinghorne, 1996). This sort of paradigmatic cognitive activity allows the
individual to draw upon general knowledge and reasoning skills based in
abstract formulations about object properties (e.g., the skins of such fruits
need to be peeled before they are eaten). The criteria by which such reasoning
is evaluated include systematic logic and truthfulness, or correspondence
with a shared, objectiWed reality (Bruner, 1990).
In contrast, the narrative mode treats individual experiences as unique historical events, and involves thinking about these events in terms of their
organization into meaningful temporal episodes based on human motives or
intentions, actions, and outcomes. These organizations in time are the prototypic plots for understanding everyday human activity, and for stories of
such activity, which children learn very early to grasp through the development of a gradually elaborated theory of mind in interpreting the behavior
of others (McAdams, 2001). Intentional human actions are thus seen as categorically distinct from the bodys physical movements, even by the youngster
of 4 or 5 (Smith, 1978). It is the meaningful gestalt of such events that
forms the basis for reasoning about them in the narrative mode, implying that
they have a particular order and organization, and that they are linked
through the intentional quality of human activity (Polkinghorne, 1996). The
criteria for evaluating such narrative knowing are quite diVerent from those
for paradigmatic reasoning, involving plausibility and coherence as aspects of
a good story, instead of logic and truth (Bruner, 1990).
These characteristics of the narrative mode of knowing mean that stories
and narratives are not simple reproductions of personal life experiences, but
rather are reconstructions of the past, through the use of interpretive plots
that are adapted from the repertoire of stories available and learned from the
culture (Polkinghorne, 1996). Interestingly, the forms for understanding
intention and everyday activities may diVer in some respects across cultures,
as work on the theory of mind in diVerent cultural contexts suggests (e.g.,
Vinden, 1996). If this is so, then available story plots or forms may diVer for
diVerent cultures, and families may play an important role in displaying these
cultural modalities to the developing individual (Miller, 1994). Narratives
also reXect past events in the light of current understandings and interpretations of their meanings and outcomes. In other words, narrative knowing as
a process is in some deep sense a creative act, and involves the possibility of
reconstruction of personal experiences diVerently at diVerent points in the
life course, depending on the individuals perspective and maturity (Polkinghorne, 1996). For example, Pratt, Norris, Arnold, and Filyer (1999), following earlier work by McAdams, Diamond, St. Aubin, & MansWeld (1997) on
10
P R AT T A N D F I E S E
McAdams (2001) has reviewed the history of narrative research in the Weld of
personality psychology, documenting how the concept of life stories moved
from the position of an exotic, somewhat speculative backwater earlier in the
20th century, to a dynamic and much more central position within the Weld
in the 1980s and 1990s. As he notes, this transformation in the role of narrative was paralleled in many other areas of psychology, such as clinical and
developmental, and indeed in the broader domains of history and the social
sciences as well (e.g., Habermas & Bluck, 2000). For example, there has been
a 500% increase in the use of narrative as a keyword when comparing citations in the psychological literature from 19912001 to 19801990. The
idea of narrative, with its focus on the historical life context, and the construction of an individual narrators perspective or voice, has become a
potential post-modern grounding metaphor for the Welds of the human sciences as a whole (Sarbin, 1986).
As a part of this program of work, new narrative theories of individual
development have been advanced, particularly by Hermanns (1996) and by
McAdams (2001). Hermanns (1996) framework emphasizes the dialogical
nature of the self, that it is constructed from multiple life stories and
voices that are constantly in dialogue and response with one another, as the
person seeks to interpret the diverse experiences of the past across many contexts. These ideas are similar to Gergens (1992) model of the self as shifting
and in Xux, as meaning in the postmodern world is not in the text itself,
but relative and constantly renegotiated by the listener and speaker. Consequently, the self is understood as dialogical in nature, and is not seen as a
unitary, coherent whole.
McAdamss (2001) most recent formulation of his theory provides a comprehensive overview of the development of narrative skills in childhood
toward the core of modern identity formation, the life story, in adolescence
and young adulthood. This life story is for McAdams the center of the individuals personality, which serves to give coherence and meaning to the adults
sense of self. While McAdams (2001) accepts that there is a degree of ongoing
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11
revision and change in the life story, he is more sanguine about the possibilities of formulating a unitary, coherent identity across the diverse experiences
and contexts of life than many of the post-modern theorists such as Gergen
(1992) or Hermanns (1996). In the next section, we follow McAdams (2001)
outline in discussing the development of narrative capacities in the individuals life context.
Narrative and the Life Course
Important cognitive developments provide the constituents that enable narrative skills to grow and develop across the life course. During the Wrst 2 years
of life, as Piaget (1970) documented, infants symbolic capacities develop
markedly, and their capacity to understand and represent the self emerges as
well. Toward the end of the second year, with the emergence of language and
its implications for memory, a capacity for a personalized autobiographical
memory begins to develop (Howe & Courage, 1997). Over the course of the
next several years, parents and other adults help children learn to formulate
stories of their past experiences for telling, and generate a limited sense of
the self and its past through these processes. Based in these interchanges with
parents and the print and visual media of books, television, now the Internet
as well, children also become acquainted with the conventional forms of
stories in our culture, with orderly elements or episodes that involve a problem, attempts to deal with it, and an outcome or ending (Mandler, 1984).
Children come to rely on such structures in processing and remembering
their own and others experiences, and Wnd that information that diverges
from this framework is more diYcult to store and remember. Many other
developments, such as childrens understanding of the goals and intentions of
others, are also critical during the preschool and early school years, as documented through study of the emergence of the theory of mind in childhood
(e.g., Wellman, 1993). Everyday storytelling activities are also a medium for
socializing perspective taking, critical thinking, and other intellectual
achievement prior to the onset of formal schooling (Ochs, Taylor, Rudolph,
& Smith, 1992). Indeed, the ways in which cultures support storytelling
prior to formal schooling suggest its central role in cognitive development in
the formative early years (RogoV & Toma, 1997). These core elements of the
autobiographical memory system have been called personal event memories
(Pillemer, 1998).
Despite these important cognitive advances, however, the capacity to represent the self through a complex life story that traces personal memories within
the context of an autobiography still is not readily apparent until adolescence
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P R AT T A N D F I E S E
1.
FA M I L I E S , S TO R I E S , A N D T H E L I F E C O U R S E
13
14
P R AT T A N D F I E S E
1978), the child gradually acquires the skills to tell about personal experiences
by adapting the parental supports of this social context to his or her own individual narrative eVorts. In essence, this process suggests that the child internalizes the parents guiding and organizing model for retelling, and makes it
his or her own. This retelling also may aid in the construction of the family
story as a condensed and complex marker for family beliefs and values. Variability in mother-child dyads in how this is carried out suggests that family
environments may shape some diVerences in the patterning of this skill with
implications for the childs own later narrative development (e.g., Peterson &
McCabe, 1994; chapter 2, this volume).
From the sociocultural perspective, then, families are the mediators of culture (Bruner, 1985), and they can be expected to foster diVering patterns and
styles of storytelling within the context of family life (e.g., Miller, 1994;
Wang, 2001). For example, Chinese parents are more likely to utilize shared
family narratives as an opportunity to teach lessons to the child, whereas
North American families are likely to emphasize instead the childs creativity
and autonomy in these family stories (Miller, Wiley, Fung, & Liang, 1997).
The broad distinction between a more collective and a more individuated
self in maturity across cultures (Markus & Kitayama, 1991) may be to some
degree reXected in and traceable to these diVerent patterns of narrative interaction in childhood.
Adolescence and young adulthood are the key periods for the acquisition
of a sense of identity, which involves both an understanding of the self
through time and of the self s distinctiveness from others (Erikson, 1968).
These two components of identity serve to create both temporal and personal
coherence within modern adulthood. The individual life story, according to
McAdams (2001), provides these critical elements of identity in modern societies. The personal life events that young children have learned to recall
through experiences with parents now become integrated into a larger, coherent life story. As Thorne (2000) points out, however, these narratives are fundamentally interpersonal, being told and retold for others as the individual
seeks to construct a sense of self in a social world. Again, then, the essentially
social nature of these developments is highlighted, consistent with the sociocultural perspective.
Is the family in some sense a key setting for this development? Certainly a
consensus has developed that one of the essential tasks for the adolescent in
North American culture is to establish a sense of autonomy or independence,
while simultaneously maintaining a sense of connectedness to parents and the
extended family (Grotevant & Cooper, 1998). Adolescents stories of important issues in their lives commonly involve family relationships, as well as
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FA M I L I E S , S TO R I E S , A N D T H E L I F E C O U R S E
15
peers, and as noted, adolescents typically tell these life stories to families or
friends, who collaborate in the co-construction of these stories as they are told
and re-told (Grotevant, Dunbar, Kohler, & Esau, 2000; Thorne, 2000).
Indeed, stories of the family dominate mid-adolescents descriptions of key
turning points in their lives (Mackey, Arnold, & Pratt, 2001).
Are there cultural diVerences in the familys role in the formation of the life
story? There is certainly evidence that parents in some cultures are less likely
to be engaged as listeners to their childrens talk than those in other cultures
(e.g., SchieVelen, 1990). It would seem likely that there are variations in the
ways in which parents respond to their adolescents recountings of life events,
in terms of how the self is to be construed as more or less autonomous or
embedded in family relationships, as noted previously for cross-cultural
research on childhood, though we are not aware of such work on adolescents
to date.
The long period of adulthood and maturity within the human life cycle,
largely ignored by Freud in a developmental sense, was described by Erikson
as involving a sequence of three distinct stages: intimacy, generativity, and ego
integrity. The construction of a new family and the relationships that this
engenders in the individuals life are key elements in personal development in
the midlife period, and these networks of family continue to increase in some
ways in complexity as individuals grow older and further intergenerational
links develop. Indeed, midlife adults may play a central role in fostering such
linkages across generations within the family (Putney & Bengtson, 2001).
Contemporary research on the intergenerational stake in relations of the
family in Western societies at least suggests that older adults have a particularly strong investment in solidarity across the generations, as opposed to the
adolescent and young adult individuals stronger investment in establishing
personal autonomy (Putney & Bengtson, 2001). Concomitant with this,
older adults in mid- and later life, particularly women, are often the kinkeepers of the family, investing considerable time and energy in maintaining
family relationships and connections (Oliveri & Reiss, 1987). Is this role particularly associated with family storytelling? We do not know, but both men
and women in later life are prone to discuss the family as the central continuity in their life stories (Coleman et al., 1998). And, as Pratt and Norris (1999)
have noted, the life stories of older adults are often given coherence by their
sense of having learned important lessons from a more mature family member or other adult Wgure from their earlier lives.
What is known about culture diVerences in the role of the family in later
life, and its impact on the life story? There is certainly indication that the
status of older adults within the society and the family varies considerably
16
P R AT T A N D F I E S E
across cultures and over historical time (e.g., Hareven, 1977). It seems likely
that this may be associated with diVerent messages within these cultures that
have distinct implications for the treatment and functioning of older adult
family members. For example, Ryan (e.g., 1991) has shown, in her work on
the communication predicament model of aging in North American cultures, that everyday discourse and forms of address with the elderly are
exquisitely sensitive to these sorts of social status issues. Older adults in nursing homes are typically addressed with baby talk, in ways that appear to
outsiders both warm and at the same time demeaning and that may undermine these adults sense of competence. It seems likely that these practices
may be quite diVerent in some Asian cultures, characterized by stronger
norms of Wlial piety (Levy & Langer, 1994). In what ways might this be reXected in the stories told by and about the oldest family members of diVerent
societies? Though little has been done on this topic, this question promises to
be of interest for future study.
The Multiple Roles of Family Stories in Research
Stories play a number of diVerent roles in the research that makes up this
book, and in the Weld of psychology in general. The role of narratives as a
research tool varies on a continuum of centrality, from their use as simply
one of a number of techniques for obtaining data on aspects of individual
motivation or personality, to a theory-driven conception of their role as a
central component in the individuals or familys sense of identity (McAdams et al., 1997). In this section, we brieXy review three important uses
of narrative that can be documented in previous research, as well as in the
chapters of the present volume: narratives as method, as medium, and as
meaning-making.
Historically, narratives were Wrst used as methods of obtaining information
on various aspects of individuals personalities and qualities. In the tradition
of this sort of research (e.g., McClelland, 1961), people are asked to tell
stories in response to a stimulus (such as an ambiguous Wgure) or about a
personal life event, and then these stories are coded as revealing a range of different levels of some quality (e.g., level of intimacy or achievement motivation). In such work, the use of narrative as a method is less focal, and stories
are not conceived as playing any special or unique role in the development or
personality of the individual, but perhaps as simply reXecting one mode of
everyday thinking and communication which can be revealing of the individuals personal qualities. Of course, stories about the family also can be used
in just such a manner, as a way of exploring the family members or relation-
1.
FA M I L I E S , S TO R I E S , A N D T H E L I F E C O U R S E
17
18
P R AT T A N D F I E S E
are not generally kept to the self, but shared with family or close friends.
These remembered tellings are often linked to the personal memory itself, but
also register novel understandings and meanings that reXect distinctive audience reactions. At any rate, the role of the family as audience, as stage, and
sometime as director for the retellings of personal memories is implicit in
many of the chapters that follow.
Shakespeare, in As You Like It, described the life course as seven acts (All the
worlds a stage, and all the men and women merely players. They have their
exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts, his acts
being seven ages.) Simplifying the bard a little, though always a risky proposition, the story of family narrative told in this volume is organized into six
sections, following loosely the life and role course of the individual through
the family system: childhood, adolescence, young adulthood, mid-life and
parenthood, later life and grandparenthood, and Wnally a more integrative
coda that summarizes and comments on the preceding chapters, and extends
the prospects for future research.
In Part I, on childhood, our authors focus on the development of both
linguistic and social competence. Carole Peterson and Allysa McCabe (chapter 2) describe their research on the ways that parents appear to be involved
in young childrens acquisition of narrative competence. Robyn Fivush and
her colleagues (chapter 3) then discuss research on family narrative processes
and childrens adaptation, both in linguistic and especially in social modalities. Sher-Censor and David Oppenheims chapter (chapter 4) focuses on preschool childrens social attachment development and its relation to narratives.
Finally, JoAnn Robinson and Michael Eltz (chapter 5) describe how more
standardized narrative data, drawn from the MacArthur Story Stem battery
widely used in the attachment literature, can be used to explore the relations
between patterns of early care giving in impoverished families and childrens
subsequent empathic and agonistic representations of relationships at age 6.
In Part II, covering adolescence and young adulthood, three chapters focus
on adolescent narratives and the central issues of identity development within
the context of the family. Nora Dunbar and Hal Grotevant (chapter 6) report
narratively based research on identity development in early to middle adolescence for a large sample of adopted children. Mary Louise Arnold and colleagues (chapter 7) then describe methods and conceptualizations of older
adolescents representations of their parents views and voices in their stories,
1.
FA M I L I E S , S TO R I E S , A N D T H E L I F E C O U R S E
19
and the ways these are related to adolescent adaptation and identity over
time. Finally, Avril Thorne and her colleagues (chapter 8) report on a study of
a particular context, parents decisions about how to discuss their own past
drug usage with their teenage children, and the ways that both adolescent and
parent identity issues may surface and interact in these decisions.
Part III focuses on the issues of intimacy and romantic relationship development, highlighted in chapter 9 by Susan Dickstein, which draws on the
attachment perspective to examine narrative measures and approaches to the
investigation of marital and couple functioning in conjunction with individual attachment.
Following this, Part IV includes four chapters that examine parenting and
socialization processes from a narrative perspective during the midlife period
of adult development. This section begins with a chapter by Dan McAdams
(chapter 10) on the Eriksonian construct of generativity and its family and
wider societal implications. This is followed by a chapter on parents stories of
their own families of origin and their potential role in socialization processes
within the young family by Barbara Fiese and Nicole Bickham (chapter 11).
Two chapters then cover the cross-cultural literature on parent-child joint
story telling (and listening) and their possible implications for cultural patterns of diVerences between North American and Chinese societies. Chapter
12, by Qi Wang, focuses on the possible diVerential socialization of memory
functions across cultures that may be rooted in variations in early parentchild dialogue. Heidi Fung and her associates (chapter 13) then discuss East
West cultural diVerences in the pervasive but neglected role of child listener.
Part V covers the role of older adults family narratives, both within the
couple relationship and in the context of grandparenting. Chapter 14, by
Odette Gould, describes a cognitive perspective on aging and narrative function in the context of couple and wider social interaction. Chapter 15, by
Joan Norris and associates, discusses functions of grandparent narratives in
family socialization processes, as well as the role of generativity within this
later period of the life course. Ellen Ryan and her associates (chapter 16) then
describe work on the functions and processes of intergenerational story writing that bridges the grandparent and grandchild generations.
The Wnal chapter, by Barbara Fiese and Michael Pratt (chapter 17), is a
summary and discussion of the previous chapters in the context of two key
questions: What do family stories tell us about personal development, and
what do narratives tell us about families and the family system? We attempt
a beginning integration of life course and systems perspectives on narrative
in the family, and suggest some directions for future work in this burgeoning Weld.
20
P R AT T A N D F I E S E
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
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24
P R AT T A N D F I E S E
PA R T I
Child Narratives:
Competence and Attachment
Development
2
Echoing Our Parents:
Parental Influences
on Childrens Narration
Carole Peterson
Memorial University of Newfoundland
Allyssa McCabe
University of MassachusettsLowell
INTRODUCTION
There is no such thing as a born storyteller. Rather, narrative skills are shaped
by many inXuences, and one of the most important is the sort of habitual verbal interaction that takes place between parents and children. From the time
they are born, children are immersed in a world of narration (Miller, 1994).
Parents frequently tell narratives to each other about themselves and about
their children. In fact, probably everyone in the childs environment exchanges
stories every day about themselves and other people, both present and absent.
And as other authors in this book make clear, narratives are characteristic of
every stage of a persons life, from early childhood to old age. But parents in
particular have an important inXuence on childrens narrative skills because
of how much time they spend with their children as well as how strongly
attached they are to each other.
One of the most notable observations of those who study narratives is the
enormous variation that exists in narrative structure. For example, large differences have been documented in the sorts of stories that are told by people
who belong to diVerent cultures, including those of diVerent cultural heritages who reside in the same country (McCabe, 1996). Large diVerences have
also been documented for ethnically similar but economically disparate
groups (Peterson, 1994). Of most interest to us in this chapter is the large
27
28
PE T E R S O N A N D M C C A B E
individual variation that can be found even within ethnically, culturally, and
economically similar groups.
Such large individual variation is not simply of academic interest; evidence
is accumulating that narrative skill is one of the most important predictors of
childrens school success and literacy acquisition (Paul & Smith, 1993). Those
who competently construct narratives that are consistent with the expectations of teachers are less likely to be deWned as learning disabled (Roth, 1986)
and more likely to make the transition to literacy readily (Snow, 1983). In
fact, in one large-scale longitudinal study, kindergarten narrative production
signiWcantly predicted fourth- and seventh-grade reading comprehension
(Tabors, Snow, & Dickinson, 2001).
For more than two decades, we have been studying the development of
narrative skills in children, and for much of this time we have attempted to
understand and explain individual variation in narrative skill. In this chapter, we Wrst provide examples of the enormous variability that can exist in
the narrative skills of preschoolers and then summarize a research program
that has attempted to explain such variation. We have focused on the role of
parents in fostering their childrens narrative skills, and to do this, we studied a group of children (and their parents) longitudinally when children
were between 2 and 6 years of age. Relationships between the ways parents
engaged their children in narrative conversations and their childrens developing competence in a number of narrative skills were explored, including
the overall complexity of childrens narratives and the development of a
number of narrative components, such as contextual orientation, causality,
and evaluation. Then we turn to theoretical explanations of why parentchild conversations can play such an important role in fostering the development of child narrative skill, based on Vygotskian theoretical constructs
such as scaVolding. Finally, we present an intervention study that explicitly
tested the importance of Vygotskian scaVolding in altering childrens narrative skills.
Variability in Child Narrative Skill
2.
E C H O I N G O U R PA R E N T S
29
Example 1: Cathy
Researcher:
Cathy:
R:
C:
R:
C:
R:
C:
R:
C:
R:
C:
R:
C:
R:
C:
R:
C:
R:
C:
Example 2: Helen
Researcher: After that happened I had to go to the hospital. Have you ever been
hurt like that?
Helen:
We didnt go to the hospital. Cause cause whenever Ward [her
brother] gets hurt he cries and cries and one bad one was on on
and and and and there was a bee after him and he cant walk very
good and he had a fever.
R:
There was a bee after him and he cant walk very well and he had a
fever?
30
PE T E R S O N A N D M CC A B E
H:
R:
H:
Example 3: Terry
Researcher:
Terry:
R:
T:
R:
T:
R:
T:
R:
T:
R:
T:
R:
T:
R:
T:
R:
T:
R:
T:
R:
T:
The stories from these three children diVer dramatically. Cathys narrative
is well-structured according to the widely recognized tenets of good structure proposed by Labov and Waletzky (1967/1997). She provides orientation to the context of her narrative, that is, the who, where, and when of
the story. She develops the action of the story, that is, the succession of
events that communicate what happened. She builds her story around an
emotional or evaluative high point or crisis event, that is, her brothers bee
sting, and she resolves the crisis event before ending the narrative. She also
provides considerable emotional evaluation throughout the narrative so that
her attitude about the events, her perspective and feelings, are evident to the
listener.
2.
E C H O I N G O U R PA R E N TS
31
32
PE T E R S O N A N D M C C A B E
2.
E C H O I N G O U R PA R E N TS
33
34
PE T E R S O N A N D M C C A B E
TABLE 2.1
Number of Tapes Provided by Parents When Children Were
23 Years Old, and Frequency (and Percentage) of Each Narrative
Structural Pattern Produced by Children at Younger (Y = 34 Years)
and Older (O = 56 Years) Ages
Structural Patterns of Child Narratives
Parent
Tapes Impoverished
Child
Leapfrog
M
Chronology
End-at-hi-pt
Classic
M
Total
Child
Narrs.
7 15
5 12
12 14
9
11
20
19
27
23
2
1
3
4
2
3
4 8
10 24
14 16
47
41
88
Cathy
Y
O
total
18
25 53
14 34
39 44
Carl
Y
O
total
11
28 80
13 41
41 61
3
2
5
9
6
7
0
11
11
0
34
16
0
1
1
0
3
1
4 11
5 16
9 13
35
32
67
Paul
Y
O
total
16
22 73
13 38
35 55
2
1
3
7
3
5
2
8
10
7
24
16
2
5
7
7
15
11
2 7
7 21
9 13
30
34
64
Leah
Y
O
total
28 70
26 50
54 59
2
5
8 15
10 11
6
12
20
15
23
22
1
0
1
2
0
1
3 7
6 12
9 10
40
52
92
Ned
Y
O
total
11
23 57
15 38
38 48
3
1
4
7
3
5
11
18
29
27
46
37
1
1
2
2
3
2
2 5
4 10
6 8
40
39
79
Helen
Y
O
total
11
29 74
17 41
46 58
5 13
2
5
7
9
5
16
21
13
39
26
0
2
2
0
5
2
0 0
4 10
4 5
39
41
80
Kelly
Y
O
total
10
20 80
11 33
31 53
2
2
4
8
6
7
2
16
18
8
48
31
0
2
2
0
6
3
1
2
3
4
6
5
25
33
58
Sally
Y
O
total
28 87
17 65
45 78
0
2
2
0
8
3
4
6
10
13
23
17
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
1
1
0
4
2
32
26
58
Gary
Y
O
total
34 85
22 81
56 84
3
0
3
8
0
4
3
3
6
8
11
9
0
2
2
0
7
3
0
0
0
0
0
0
40
27
67
Terry
Y
O
total
21 75
15 88
36 80
6 21
1
6
7 16
1
1
2
4
6
4
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
28
17
45
2.
E C H O I N G O U R PA R E N TS
35
to those of a longitudinal study by Fivush (1991). She found that the degree
of topic elaboration by parents (measured by the number of propositions
per turn at talk) when their children were 2 years of age was highly correlated with how elaborative their own children were when they talked with a
researcher a year later.
But more than narrative length and elaboration are important. Table 2.1
also shows the number of narratives of each structural pattern that children
produced when they talked with a researcher at biannual intervals between
3 and 6 years of age (data from McCabe & Peterson, 1990). There was a
strong relationship between the number of tapes provided by parents when
their children were between 2 and 3 years of age, and the structure of their
childrens narratives over the successive 3 years. The more tapes parents
provided, the higher the percentage of their childrens narratives that were
classically structured (r = .84, p < .01) and the lower the percentage of impoverished narratives (r = -.79, p < .01). In addition, the total number of
topic-extending questions and statements made by parents in all of their tapes
was positively related to the number of classic narratives their children produced (r = .79, p < .01). Thus, it seems that more parental input in terms
of engaging the child in narrative conversations, and more utterances that
extend or elaborate topics, are related to children developing more advanced
narrative skill. In contrast, the diVerences between children in narrative competence were not related to their syntactic competence or verbal intelligence,
as measured by their Mean Length of Utterance at 27 and 31 months of age
and their scores on the Peabody Picture Vocabulary Test (PPVT) at ages 4 and
5 years (p > .4).
There is another striking pattern in Table 2.1. If one compares the narratives of each child at younger (Y) and older (O) ages, namely at 34 years
versus 56 years, there is substantial developmental progression for most children. In particular, the proportion of primitive narratives that Wt the impoverished pattern decreases, and the proportion of the most sophisticated pattern, the classic one, increases. Notably, only three childrens narratives at 5
6 years are still mostly impoverished: Terry and Sally (whose parents provided
few tapes), and Gary. Although Garys parents provided more tapes, they were
extremely short, seldom even 5 minutes in length. Gary and Terry showed no
developmental improvement over this 3-year time span in narrative structure
and still produced no classic narratives by the end of the study. Sally produced
only one classic narrative. In contrast, fully 24% of Cathys narratives conformed to the classic narrative pattern and only a third of her narratives were
impoverished when she was 56 years of age.
36
PE T E R S O N A N D M C C A B E
2.
37
E C H O I N G O U R PA R E N TS
TABLE 2.2
Properties of Mothers Narrative-elicitation Style
and the Percentage of their Childrens Self-Structured Narratives
to a Researcher that Provide Orientation to Context
Cathy
Helen
2732 3338
mo
mo
3944
mo
16.7
1.4:1
16.5
1.6:1
19.4
1.5:1
25.8
2.7:1
26.6
2.6:1
14.7
2.6:1
2.8:1
4.0:1
4.4:1
1.5:1
2.2:1
1.6:1
85%
40%
24%
19%
2%
90%
43%
47%
38%
5%
88%
46%
54%
40%
12%
83%
25%
38%
0%
0%
92%
42%
56%
19%
7%
95%
58%
70%
60%
21%
shown in Table 2.2 (adapted from Peterson & McCabe, 1992), and Helens
mother asks almost twice as many context questions relative to action questions as does Cathys mother. There is another diVerence between the mothers: Throughout the 18 months, Helens mother asked a large percentage of
yes/no questions. These make few demands on children in that they do not
require an elaborated, content-rich answer. Cathys mother, in contrast, asked
relatively few of these non-demanding yes/no questions, except early on when
Cathys inability to answer a content-rich question often led to rephrasing the
question into a simpliWed yes/no format. As Cathys ability to answer content-rich questions increased, the frequency of yes/no questions decreased.
Also shown in Table 2.2 are the percentages of childrens self-structured
narratives that included clear speciWcation of who and identiWcation of where,
when, and why events took place (from Peterson & McCabe, 1992). For
where, narratives are further broken down into those that describe events taking place at locations other than home (where speciWcation of location is
essential for comprehension of the story) as well as in all narratives regardless
of location. Although both children are comparable during the Wrst 6 months
of the study, Helens likelihood of providing contextual embedding is considerably higher a year later. Because Helens mother stresses the importance of
38
PE T E R S O N A N D M C C A B E
contextual orientation in her questions, Helen has learned that this is important information that should be included in her narratives.
But contextual embedding is not enough. A narrative that is well-structured, conforming to the classic narrative pattern, must have a cogent development of the action of the narrative, which Cathys mother emphasizes.
Cathys mother also demands more elaborative and information-rich responses
to her questions. As Table 2.1 shows, this emphasis on action or on what happened, as well as on content information, is reXected in Cathys earlier mastery
of classic narrative structure.
The case study of two mothers just described was extended to an analysis
of the types of questions asked by all of the parents in our longitudinal study
(Peterson & McCabe, 1994, 1996). Questions were classiWed as context questions (divided into wh-context and yes/no-context) or questions about other
content, such as actions. These questions about other content were also
divided into wh- questions and yes/no questions. As well, clarifying questions
and statements were tabulated. This was done for the recorded parent-child
conversations that took place during the three 6-month periods of our 18month collection of taped parent-child conversations, that is, when children
were at Age 1 (2631 months), Age 2 (3237 months) and Age 3 (3843
months old). In addition, the provision of when and where context was
assessed in the childrens self-structured narratives elicited by a researcher during these same three periods.
There was little relationship between the types of questions parents asked
in the Wrst or second time period and the childs provision of spatial-temporal context in the same time periods. That is, almost all correlations between
parent and child at Age 1 or Age 2 were nonsigniWcant. However, there were
a number of signiWcant relationships between the sorts of questions parents
emphasized during the Wrst year of the study and the amount of contextual
orientation that children provided in the last 6 months of the study. These
signiWcant correlations are shown in Table 2.3 (taken from Peterson &
McCabe, 1996). Note that there are a total of eight correlations between earlier parental context questions at Ages 1 and 2 and child performance at Age
3, and of these, fully seven were signiWcant. That is, the number of context
questions that parents asked both a full year, as well as half a year, earlier predicted how well their children provided spatial-temporal context when they
were 3 years of age. An interesting comparison is the contrast between these
earlier parental context questions (of which seven out of eight were signiWcant) and synchronous context questions, that is, context questions asked by
parents at Age 3 and their childrens contextual orientation at Age 3. Only
two of the four synchronous correlations between parent and child at Age 3
2.
39
E C H O I N G O U R PA R E N TS
Age 1
Age 2
Age 3
Wh-context questions
where
Age 1
Age 2
Age 3
-.65, p = .020
.54, p = .024
.68, p = .015
when
Age 1
Age 2
Age 3
.74, p = .007
.57, p = .042
.69, p = .013
.66, p = .019
.76, p = .005
.57, p = .042
when
Age 1
Age 2
Age 3
.64, p = .022
.78, p = .004
40
PE T E R S O N A N D M C C A B E
2.
E C H O I N G O U R PA R E N TS
41
than boys, in that they talk more about emotions (and a wider variety of
emotions) to daughters (Cervantes & Callanan, 1998; Dunn, Bretherton, &
Munn, 1987; Fivush, 1998). Some researchers have found gender diVerences
in childrens presentation of emotion in their narratives (Buckner & Fivush,
1998; Haden, Haine, & Fivush, 1997); others have found few diVerences in
childrens use of most other forms of evaluation (Peterson & McCabe, 1983;
Peterson & Biggs, 1998, 2001) with the exception of the evaluative device of
reported speech. Girls include more reported speech than do boys (Ely &
McCabe, 1993).
Parents who have an elaborative reminiscing style are likely to use more
evaluation (Reese & Fivush, 1993), and we were curious about whether there
are more speciWc relationships between parental and child evaluation. That is,
does evaluation show the same sort of speciWcity eVect that has been previously found for orientation? To answer this, we assessed total parent evaluative input in our longitudinal sample when children were 27, 31, and 34
months, as well as total child evaluative output in their researcher-elicited
narratives at 27, 31, and 34 months, as well as at 4 years (McCabe & Peterson, 2000). In addition, we assessed the role of overall topic-extending input
by parents in all of the tapes that they provided us.
Two major Wndings emerged from this study. First, there was no direct
relationship between parental and child evaluation. The rank of parents in
terms of the evaluative input they provided at 27, 31, and 34 months did not
correlate with the rank of children in terms of providing narrative evaluation
to an experimenter at those ages and when 4 years old. On the other hand,
there was a relationship between how topic-extending a parent was and how
much evaluation children provided. That is, when parents were ranked, those
who were more topic-extending during parent-child reminiscing had children who had higher ranks in terms of how much evaluation they included in
their self-structured narratives (rho = .52, p < .05). Thus, it seems that it is
general parental interest in extending discussion about the past that is important, not speciWc parental attention to evaluation. Parents who are interested
in a childs past experiences, and who are elaborative and topic-extending
during parent-child reminiscing, have children who are more likely to evaluate their experiences when narrating.
Our sample size was small, however, and this may well be the reason that
relationships between parental and child use of evaluative talk did not prove
to be signiWcant. Several studies with sample sizes over 40 found concurrent
relationships between parent and preschooler emotion language in picture
description (Denham, Cook, & Zoller, 1992) and autobiographical narration
(Farrar, Fasig, & Welch-Ross, 1997) and longitudinal relationships in parent
42
PE T E R S O N A N D M C C A B E
Events in our lives are often highly inter-related, and one important form of
inter-relationship is causality. Some events cause other events to happen or set
up necessary preconditions. For example, falling on a nail can cause a cut on
the leg, pulling on a cats tail can cause the cat to scratch, or hitting another
child can cause that child to hit back. Explicitly informing a listener about
causal relationships in narrated events leads to narratives about those events
being perceived as more coherent and comprehensible (Buckner & Fivush,
1998; Fivush, 1991). Thus, learning to describe causal relationships between
events is another component skill involved in competent narration.
An important question is whether parental practices during narrative elicitation vis--vis specifying causality are related to childrens acquisition of skill
in describing causal relationships between events. To answer this, we Wrst
combed through the researcher-elicited narratives of children in our longitudinal sample and we found that the age when children Wrst included a
spontaneous expression of causality varied widely, from 30 to 66 months of
age (McCabe & Peterson, 1997). Next, we analyzed the parent-child conversations, and we found remarkable consistency in parental behavior. In con-
2.
E C H O I N G O U R PA R E N TS
43
versations that took place more than 6 months prior to childrens Wrst spontaneous expression of causality, parents almost never mentioned causality. For
example, at 7 months prior to a childs Wrst independent causal statement,
there were 0.08 mentions of causality per narrative topic by parents. However, parents consistently increased their discussion of past causality with
their child approximately 6 months prior to their childs Wrst spontaneous
production of causal language. At 6 months prior to a childs Wrst causal
expression (regardless of the childs age at that time), parents talked about
causality 0.21 times per narrative, and at 5 months prior, there were 0.52
causal mentions per narrative, and in the next few months it remained equivalently high. Thus, a half year prior to a childs Wrst spontaneous expression of
causality, parents began to emphasize causality in their narrative conversations. Children began responding to these parental prompts about causality,
and all children were able to respond to at least some parental scaVolds about
causality at least a month prior to the time when they could produce causal
language spontaneously, and on average 5 months prior. Thus, a consistent
pattern was found: rare references to causality by parents, a sudden increase
in parental prompts about causality 6 months prior to childrens Wrst spontaneous production of causal language, children increasingly responding to
scaVolded interactions about causality, and Wnally, spontaneous production
of causality by children.
Other investigators have also found a relationship between parental conversations about causality and childrens inclusion of causality in their narratives. For example, in a longitudinal investigation, Fivush (1991) assessed the
number of references to causal or conditional relationships in maternal language and the number of such references in their childrens narratives to a
researcher a year later. There was a strong positive correlation between the
two frequencies (r = .78); mothers who talked about causality more when
their children were 2 years old had children who talked more about causality a year later, at age 3.
Reported Speech
Causal linkage between events has often been considered to be one form of
evaluation (Labov & Waletzky, 1967/1997), and as we have seen, it shows
speciWc parent-child eVects. But another form of evaluation, other than
causality, also has been found to yield speciWc eVects. In a diVerent study in
which dinnertime conversations were recorded for 22 middle-class families
that had a child between 2 and 5 years of age, Ely, Gleason, Narasimhan, and
McCabe (1995) found that mothers used more of the evaluative device of
44
PE T E R S O N A N D M C C A B E
reported speech than did fathers. Of most interest here is that there was a signiWcant correlation between the amount of reported speech by mothers and
children (r = .63, p < .005), but not between fathers and children (r = .16).
Thus, children seem to resemble their mothers in the use of this device.
When reported speech was investigated in the Peterson and McCabe (1992)
longitudinal study, mothers of 2- to 3-year-old children again were found
to use substantially more prompts for reported speech (i.e., 100 of 107
observed prompts for reported speech were made by mothers), and mothers
themselves made almost all observed reports of past speech (50 of 55 observations). By the time their children were 5, girls attention to past speech was
double that of boys (Ely, Gleason, & McCabe, 1996).
The value of reporting speech has been documented to be gendered. Tannen (1990) put it best when she quoted one very representative complaint by
a woman about her husband, Men dont tell the whole story who said
what, and another who said, Its like pulling teeth to get him to tell me,
What did she say, What did he say? (p. 116). She goes on to note that men
see such emphasis on reported speech as attention to unimportant details.
Tannen was writing about adults, of course, but what we have seen is that
such divergent values have a very early onset in the preschool years.
Gender
The eventual impact of such gender diVerences in adult preferences for narrative components eventuates in replication of gender diVerences in their
oVspring. Moreover, parents of both sexes may set aside their own preferences
in the interest (albeit probably not conscious) of fostering what they see as
gender-appropriate narration. For example, both fathers and mothers alike
talk in distinctively diVerent ways to their young daughters versus their young
sons (see Fivush, 1998, for a review).
Gender diVerences in adults narrative preferences added to increasingly
observable gender diVerences in children, and the well-known fact that mothers tend to talk substantially more with their children than do fathers can
be Wt into the sociocultural framework that we have adopted. Such a sociocultural framework would lead us to expect more congruence between the
narrative styles of mothers and their daughters than between any other pairing (e.g., fathers and daughters or mothers and sons), and we have found evidence that such is the case.
Recently, we have independently collected self-structured narratives from
both parents and children about the same events. This research diVers from
prior research in our laboratory in that parents narrated to a researcher rather
than engaged in parent-child reminiscence, and they were asked to narrate
2.
E C H O I N G O U R PA R E N TS
45
about a target event, the same one as the child. This event was a highly salient
one in childrens lives, namely an injury serious enough to require hospital
emergency room (ER) treatment. Families were recruited from the ER and
visited at home several days later, and their memory for the injury and subsequent hospital treatment was assessed as part of other research. Prior to memory probing, self-structured narratives were elicited (Tell me about when
you/your child got hurt.). There were 137 preschool-aged children (25
years) and 98 school-aged children (813 years) and their parents (154 mothers and 81 fathers) who participated.
The parents and childrens narratives were assessed on a range of narrative
measures, including two measures of length (number of words and number of
clauses), two measures of elaboration (number of descriptors and number of
new units of information), one measure of cohesion (number of inter-clausal
connectives), two measures of coherence (number of temporal and of causal/
conditional linguistic links), and two measures of contextual embedding
(number of references to time context and spatial context). As well, new units
of information were sub-categorized in terms of whether they referred to
people, location, activities, objects, or attributes. In all, there were 14 measures of narrative properties.
There is, of course, enormous individual variation in the narratives of both
parents and children, with some individuals stressing the importance of contextual embedding, others stressing the importance of descriptive elaboration, and so on. We computed correlations between parents and children,
with children categorized as preschool- or school-aged, and both parents and
children separated by gender. The patterns of correlations that we found are
shown in Table 2.4 (taken from Peterson & Roberts, 2003). Strikingly, the
narratives of older daughters and their mothers are highly similar in at least
one measure of all Wve narrative properties, that is, length, elaboration, cohesion, coherence, and context-setting. SpeciWcally, fully 10 of the 14 measures
comparing mothers and older daughters are signiWcant at the p < .004 level.
In contrast, none of the correlations between older daughters and their
fathers are signiWcant. There is no relationship between older sons narrative
measures and those of either parent. (Very few of the correlations between
preschoolers and their parents were signiWcant, probably because their narratives were so short.)
The high degree of similarity in how mothers and their school-aged daughters linguistically represent events in their narratives supports suggestions of
a special status for mother-daughter dyads, in comparison with mother-son,
father-daughter, or father-son dyads (Russell & Saebel, 1997). In their review
of research regarding the distinctness of the four types of parent-child dyad,
Russell and Saebel stated that although evidence was limited, there seemed to
46
PE T E R S O N A N D M C C A B E
TABLE 2.4
SigniWcant Correlations Between Child-Parent Dyads,
with Bonferroni Correction (p < .004)
Parent-Daughter Dyads
Younger Kids
Mom
Measure
Length:
Clauses
Words
Elaboration:
Descriptors
Unique units
Person
Location
Object
Activity
Attribute
Cohesion:
Connectives
Coherence:
Causal/cond.
Temporal
Context:
Time context
Spatial context
Dad
N = 51 N = 15
Parent-Son Dyads
Older Kids
Mom
Dad
N = 25 N = 16
Younger Kids
Mom
Dad
N = 48
N = 23
Older Kids
Mom
Dad
N = 30 N = 27
0.76*
0.72*
0.74*
0.64*
0.52*
0.54*
0.74*
0.41*
0.77*
0.39*
0.66*
0.82*
0.69*
0.77*
0.47*
Note. Table from Peterson and Roberts (2003). Copyright 2003 by the American Psychological Association. Adapted with permission.
*p < .004.
THEORETICAL CONSIDERATIONS
2.
E C H O I N G O U R PA R E N TS
47
48
PE T E R S O N A N D M C C A B E
Although there have been numerous demonstrations of time-lagged relationships between earlier parental reminiscing style and later child narrative skill,
these have been correlational in nature. And, of course, even time-lagged
correlation does not mean causation. A more powerful research design is
required, namely an experimental intervention. This has been done (Peterson, Jesso, & McCabe, 1999). We recruited 20 economically disadvantaged
families with 3-year-old children, all of whom were on Canadian social
assistance (equivalent to welfare in the U.S.), and randomly assigned them to
either an intervention or a control group. The mothers styles of eliciting
narratives from their children were assessed at the beginning of the study by
leaving a tape recorder with them to record reminiscing, as was the childrens
2.
E C H O I N G O U R PA R E N TS
49
skill at constructing self-structured narratives to a researcher using our standard narrative-eliciting procedures. Childrens language skills were also
assessed by the PPVT. Subsequently, a researcher talked with the intervention
mothers about the sorts of narrative interactions that seem to foster children
developing the narrative skills that help them to Wt in with school.
The intervention emphasized the following points (from Peterson et al.,
1999):
1. Talk to your child frequently and consistently about past experiences.
2. Spend a lot of time talking about each topic.
3. Ask plenty of wh questions and few yes/no questions. As part of
this, ask questions about the context or setting of the events, especially where and when they took place.
4. Listen carefully to what your child is saying, and encourage elaboration.
5. Encourage your child to say more than one sentence at a time by
using backchannel responses or simply repeating what your child
has just said.
6. Follow your childs lead. That is, talk about what your child wants to
talk about.
The researcher illustrated each of these points and both showed the parent
transcripts of other parents reminiscing with their children and played them
tapes of these interactions. These provided concrete examples of parents using
or failing to use the types of prompts and interaction style we were fostering.
Then the researcher engaged in role playing with the parent, to help them
learn these techniques. Subsequently, families were visited every other month
and interim telephone calls were made to remind and encourage the mothers.
The intervention lasted for a year. Control mothers were told that we were
interested in learning more about how children develop narratives. At the end
of the year-long intervention, post-test data were collected: Parents were again
given tape recorders and asked to record parent-child reminiscing, children
were interviewed again by a researcher, and the PPVT was re-administered. A
year later, when the children were approximately 5 years old, 14 of the children (half in each group) were found and a researcher elicited more narratives
from the children for a follow-up assessment. Comparisons of families who
could not be found with those that remained in the study showed that these
two groups did not diVer in parental or child variables in pretesting. Attrition
was attributed to families in poverty being more likely to move or have disconnected telephones.
50
PE T E R S O N A N D M C C A B E
TABLE 2.5
Mean Number of Parent Measures
(and Standard Deviations) at Pre-Test and Post-Test
Time of Test
Measure
Open-ended prompts
Control Group
Intervention Group
Wh-context questions
Control Group
Intervention Group
Back-channeling
Control Group
Intervention Group
Total of above 3
Control Group
Intervention Group
Yes/no questions
Control Group
Intervention Group
Pre-Test
Post-Test
11.3 (6.4)
9.7 (5.5)
11.7 (4.1)
14.4 (4.2)
6.4 (4.2)
4.5 (3.5)
6.8 (4.1)
8.5 (2.6)
3.8 (2.9)
3.0 (1.8)
3.2 (2.7)
4.9 (2.5)
21.5 (7.2)
17.2 (5.8)
21.7 (6.9)
28.2 (4.0)*
9.2 (3.2)
7.5 (3.7)
10.2 (3.2)
8.8 (2.7)
2.
51
E C H O I N G O U R PA R E N TS
Pre-test
Post-test
Follow-up
52.5
54.1
59.0
55.5
11.0
9.1
11.7
13.5
25.8
11.3
31.4
33.6
27.9
36.1
170.4
117.9
52
PE T E R S O N A N D M C C A B E
CONCLUSIONS
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McCabe, A., & Peterson, C. (2000, July). An eVort after meaning: Parental inXuences on childrens evaluations in narratives of past personal experiences. Paper presented at the seventh
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3
Family Narratives and the
Development of Childrens
Emotional Well-Being
Robyn Fivush
Jennifer Bohanek
Rachel Robertson
Marshall Duke
Emory University
After the good times were over, as we grew older, we were to tell each other
stories about the past, each adding his or her own fragments of pleasurable detail, until the joint memory became something larger than each single memory, and yet became something that each of us possessed fully, as if
it were solely our own.
Wilson (1998, p. 142)
Much of family interaction focuses on telling family stories; in everyday interactions, over the dinner table, in the car, across the television dialogue, and
in more formal, ritualized interactions, at holiday dinners, family reunions,
weddings, and funerals, family members engage in co-constructing the events
they have shared together in the past. These narratives, often told again and
again, deWne the shape of each familys emotional life. The way in which individual family members participate in the recreation of the familys shared past
modulates an evolving self-understanding both as an individual and as a
member of the family. In this chapter, we examine the ways in which families co-construct narratives. Our focus is on individual diVerences in the
process of family reminiscing, and we argue that the way in which families
co-construct their shared past has implications for childrens developing emotional well-being and resilience. More speciWcally, families that are able to talk
about emotionally complex and diYcult events in more open, integrated, and
55
56
FIVUSH ET AL.
coherent ways may help provide children with the resources to cope with and
resolve aversive experiences.
In the Wrst section, we present evidence of individual diVerences in parental reminiscing style that emerge very early in development, and we demonstrate how these diVerences inXuence both autobiographical memory and
emotional development across the preschool years. Although most of the
research focuses on emotionally positive experiences, we discuss the limited
research on parent-child narratives of more stressful events as well, and how
this may be related to the parent-child emotional relationship. We then turn
to a study currently in progress targeting pre-adolescent children, in which we
are exploring family narratives about both positive and negative shared experiences, and we discuss relations between individual diVerences in the process
of narrative interactions and childrens emotional well-being.
Children are surrounded by family stories virtually from birth. Parents begin
telling family stories to their children during infancy, well before children can
understand, let alone participate in, these narrative retellings (Fiese, Hooker,
Kotray, Schwagler, & Rimmer, 1997). As children grow older and become
more capable participants, parents begin to encourage and expect children to
engage in joint reminiscing (Eisenberg, 1985; Miller, 1994). Several researchers have described the ways in which families discuss past events with and
around children in everyday contexts (Fiese & Marjinsky, 1999; Miller, 1994;
Ochs & Capps, 2001). Most of these studies collect spontaneous family conversations and examine the ways in which narratives of past events emerge
within everyday activities such as chatting with family and friends, or family
talk over the dinner table. The resulting narrative descriptions highlight ways
in which individual identities and family relationships are deWned and clariWed within these conversational interactions.
In addition to revealing how families communicate, family narrative interactions are also related to child outcome. For example, Fiese and Marjinsky
(1999) rated family dinnertime narratives on coherence and emotional modulation. Parents appropriate modulation of aVect, but not overall conversational coherence, was linked to fewer behavior problems in children. Ochs,
Taylor, Rudolph, and Smith (1992) have further argued that family storytelling is a site for the socialization of self and other (see also Miller, 1994).
They examined the ways in which families re-tell the same stories, reworking
the narrative to explain and clarify. Their descriptions illuminate how these
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58
FIVUSH ET AL.
sons. In turn, girls tell more elaborated and detailed narratives of their own
past than do boys (Reese & Fivush, 1993; Reese, Haden, & Fivush, 1996).
Most important, when we share the past together, we move beyond recalling what happened and provide information about our emotional reactions
and feelings about the event (Labov, 1982). Parent-child reminiscing is rich
in emotional detail, although again, there are individual diVerences in the
extent to which parents and children share their past emotions, and these
diVerences are related to gender. Some research has found that mothers talk
in more emotionally elaborated ways about the past than fathers (Fivush,
Brotman, Buckner, & Goodman, 2000), but other studies have not found
diVerences between parents (Reese et al., 1996). However, a great many studies have now conWrmed that both mothers and fathers include more emotional detail when reminiscing with daughters than with sons (Adams, Kuebli,
Boyle, & Fivush, 1995; Fivush, 1989, 1991; Fivush et al., 2000; Fivush,
Berlin, Sales, Mennuti-Washburn, & Cassidy, 2003; Kuebli & Fivush, 1992).
And by the end of the preschool years, girls are talking about their past experiences in more emotional ways than are boys.
These patterns indicate that children are learning to tell the stories of their
lives through participating in early parent-child reminiscing. Parents who
reminisce in more elaborated ways, studding their conversation with rich
detail and emotional nuances, have children who develop more elaborated
and more emotional narratives of their personal past. But why are some parents more elaborative than others? If it is the case that parent-child reminiscing functions to create and maintain social and emotional bonds, then we
would expect diVerences in parental reminiscing style related to the parentchild emotional relationship. Through co-constructing the events of our lives,
we create emotional attachments that bond us together through time and
allow us to anticipate a shared future.
One of the core constructs in conceptualizing parent-child emotional relationships is attachment. The mother-child attachment bond develops over
the Wrst year of the childs life, based on the kinds of social and emotional
interactions experienced (see Cassidy & Shaver, 1999, for an overview).
Mothers who are more sensitive and emotionally open to their childrens
needs have children who develop a secure sense of self in the world. In contrast, mothers who are less sensitive and less emotionally open have children
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59
who feel more insecure. Securely attached infants are able to explore the physical and social world more easily and comfortably than insecure infants.
Although these early attachment relations are assumed to be nonconscious,
as children grow older, they develop working models of their relationships
with others (Bowlby, 1988; Bretherton, 1996). These working models are
assumed to be expressed and modulated through parent-child communication (Thompson, 2000). Securely attached dyads are theorized to be able to
converse in more emotionally open, integrative and coherent ways than insecurely attached dyads.
If a principal function of parent-child reminiscing is to create and maintain social and emotional bonds, then we would expect a relation to attachment status such that more elaborative parents would facilitate a more secure
attachment. Further, if attachment status allows for diVerential communication, then more secure attachment should facilitate more elaborative parentchild reminiscing. Thus, attachment and reminiscing style should be dialectically related across development. There is some emerging evidence that this
is the case. Both Fivush and Vasudeva (2002) and Farrant and Reese (2000)
have found that more securely attached dyads reminisce in more highly elaborated ways than less securely attached dyads.
A limitation of this research, however, is the focus on reminiscing about
mostly positive, child-centered events. Parent-child reminiscing about emotionally negative experiences is of great theoretical interest for several reasons.
First, whereas it seems obvious that reminiscing about emotionally positive
events facilitates emotional bonding, it is not at all clear that reminiscing
about negative events serves this same function. Instead, it seems that parents
may discuss negative experiences with their young children for very diVerent
reasons, including helping their children to understand how and why aversive
events occurred, how to understand and cope with these kinds of experiences
in order to alleviate negative aVect, and to teach children about how to avoid
such experiences in the future. Second, within attachment theory, it has been
hypothesized that security of attachment may be particularly important when
families confront negative experiences; a secure attachment relationship may
allow families to discuss stressful events more openly, leading to a greater
sense of social support in coping with these kinds of events (Bowlby, 1988;
Bretherton, 1996; Pillemer, 1998). Thus, the way in which families are able
to co-construct emotionally negative and stressful experiences during reminiscing may be related to childrens ability to cope with aversive events; those
families that are able to discuss past negative experiences in more emotionally
open and coherent ways may facilitate resilience in their children.
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FIVUSH ET AL.
PARENT-CHILD REMINISCING
ABOUT NEGATIVE EVENTS
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FAMILY NARRATIVES
AND EMOTIONAL RESILIENCE
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FIVUSH ET AL.
We targeted families with a preadolescent child because the clinical literature suggests that the teenage years are particularly rife with family conXict
and this is the developmental period when children are most likely to begin
to have problems with identity that can lead to serious outcomes such as
delinquency, depression, and substance abuse (Carr, 1999; Lerner & Lerner,
2001). Our goal is to establish family patterns of communication that may
buVer children from the diYculties of navigating the teenage years, and our
plan is to follow these families over the next several years to assess long-term
relations among family narratives, family functioning, and individual outcome. Forty two-parent families with a target child between the ages of
9 and 12 years are participating. Thirty-three are dual-earner families, and
7 are single-earner families. Half of the families have a preadolescent daughter, 29 families are Caucasian, 5 are African-American, and 5 are of mixed
race. Thirty of the families are traditional nuclear families, 8 are blended
families, and 2 are extended families with at least one additional adult living
with them.
Here we present a subset of the data collected in the larger project:
elicited family narratives of shared positive and negative events. During a
home visit, a research assistant asked the family to discuss one emotionally
positive event that the family enjoyed together and one emotionally negative
event, something stressful that the family experienced together. The families
were free to select the events, and to discuss the events in whatever fashion
for whatever length of time they chose. Although families were instructed to
discuss the nominated events as they normally would amongst themselves,
some families occasionally spoke to the experimenter and provided background information during the narrative. However, despite these digressions
the conversations would always return to a family discussion. Conversational length varied widely among families, with some families discussing
these events for 4045 minutes and others only discussing the events for
5 minutes. Despite this, the range of events was not that variable from family to family. Almost all of the positive events selected were family vacations
or holiday gatherings, and most of the negative events were relatively normal stressors that all families face, such as death of a grandparent, death of
a pet, or a serious illness or accident of a parent or child, as described in
Table 3.1. Thus the negative events were within the range of normative
experience and represent the kinds of stressful events that virtually all families must deal with over time.
We are in the beginning stages of coding and analyzing these narratives.
Our initial coding focuses on how the family negotiates the telling of the
story. Based on previous research (Fiese & Marjinsky, 1999), but most impor-
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TABLE 3.1
Description of Events
Positive Events:
Family vacations
Sibling birth
Sports/tournaments
Visits to/from relatives
Ceremony
Negative Events:
Death of friend/family
Death of pet
Childs illness/injury
Accident/disaster
Family conXict
Move to new city
Mishap during vacation
Parents illness
Number of Families
% of Families
31
3
3
2
1
78%
8%
8%
5%
1%
12
8
5
5
3
3
3
1
30%
20%
13%
13%
8%
8%
8%
1%
tant, emerging from the narratives themselves, we developed Wve characteristics that describe how families co-construct these narratives: collaborative,
cooperative, child-centered, facilitated/moderated, and disharmonious, as
summarized in Table 3.2. Note that the characteristics are not mutually exclusive. Because these are long and complex conversations, families may display
several of these characteristics in the course of sharing the event together.
Thus, we scored each conversation along each characteristic on a 0 to 3 scale,
such that 0 indicated the characteristic was not represented at all, 1 indicated
the characteristic was represented in a limited way, 2 indicated that the characteristic was well represented but not dominant, and 3 indicated that it was
the dominant characteristic represented in the narrative interaction. Thus,
conceptually, a family can be high on both collaborative narrative interaction
and also be child-centered, or high on facilitated/moderated narrative interaction but still disharmonious.
Two coders independently listened to each conversation as they read
through the transcripts and assigned each narrative a score of 0 to 3 on each
of the narrative characteristics. Across the Wve characteristics, coders agreed
93% of the time for both positive and negative events (range = 88% to 98%).
Disagreements were within one point an additional 6% of the time, with
disagreements of two points or more only occurring 1% of the time. All
discrepancies were then resolved through discussion. Table 3.3 shows the
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FIVUSH ET AL.
TABLE 3.2
Description of Narrative Characteristics
Narrative
Characteristic
Description
Indicators
Instance Criteria
Collaborative
Cooperative
Child-centered
The conversation is
dominated by questions from parents and
responses by the
children.
An instance includes
the parents question
and the childs response; or if the child
does not answer, the
question alone can
be counted as an
instance.
Facilitated/
Moderated
The conversation is
moderated and
facilitated primarily
by one parent.
A single moderator
initiates topics,
chooses speakers, gives
extended monologues,
or ignores other family
members input.
Disharmonious
Family members
appear to be disconnected, are not likeminded, and/or dont
have a shared understanding of events.
Mild disagreements,
denial of feelings, little
shared aVect, putdowns, complaining,
and parental lecturing.
3.
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Table 3.3
Mean Scores on Each Characteristic for Positive and Negative Events
Dimension
Collaborative
Cooperative
Child-Ctrd
Facilitated-Mod.
Disharmonious
Correlation betw/
Pos. and Neg. Scores
1.35
2.05
2.17
.12
.10
.73
2.13
2.07
.20
.30
.56*
.52*
.49*
.54*
.43*
*p < .01
mean scores on each characteristic for the positive and negative events, as well
as the correlations between the two characteristics across the two event types.
As can be seen, families most often displayed cooperative and child-centered
characteristics in these narratives, with little evidence of facilitated/moderated
or disharmonious interactions. Further, families showed similar characteristics of narrative interaction across positive and negative events. Still, there
was a great deal of individual variation from family to family in how they
co-constructed the narratives.
In the following sections, we provide more detailed descriptions and examples of each of these characteristics. In the following excerpts, TC
stands for target child, the preadolescent child that is the focus of our assessment. Other children in the family are indicated as Sib1, Sib2, and so
on. Not surprisingly, it was fairly common for family members to speak over
one another. Because this kind of information was important for coding the
narrative characteristics, we adopted notation to indicate overlapping speech.
The symbol < was used to indicate the moment when a second speaker
began talking and the symbol > was used to indicate the moment when the
second speaker was no longer speaking over the initial speaker. Thus, the
speech that was spoken at the same time was enclosed in the symbols across
conversational turns.
COLLABORATIVE INTERACTIONS
66
FIVUSH ET AL.
resulted in a conversation that was richer and more complex than any of the
individuals could have told on their own. Laughing, good-natured joking and
teasing, and requests for telling the story were also present. The following is
part of a collaborative exchange between the mother and the preadolescent
son about the younger daughter being burned by hot food:
Mom:
TC:
Mom:
TC:
Mom:
TC:
Mom:
TC:
Mom:
TC:
TC:
Mom:
TC:
Mom:
TC:
Mom:
TC:
Mom:
TC:
Mom:
TC:
Note how the mother and child both Wnished each others sentences and continued to add new information while the story developed into an integrative
account of what happened. Neither dominated the story, but each added
additional details in a coherently evolving narrative. Overall, in collaborative
interactions family members create a shared narrative in which they agree on
what happened and what it meant. When there is confusion about what happened, they work through the details and come to a shared understanding
and perspective.
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COOPERATIVE INTERACTIONS
Note how family members are encouraged to give their own perspective, and
nearly every new piece of information was veriWed by another family member.
But in contrast to a collaborative interaction, new contributions do not build
a coherent story, but rather each expresses the speakers individual role and
perspective.
68
FIVUSH ET AL.
CHILD-CENTERED INTERACTIONS
What did you like the most about the trip to Europe?
I liked it when we went to uh (unintelligible) Castle.
Why did you like that?
It was really fun. It was just fun.
What did you like the most?
In the castle?
I liked the food.
You liked the food? <Just like your brother, huh? (Laughs)
Yeah.> What did you like the most?
I liked the castle.
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FIVUSH ET AL.
The father continues to lead the other family members throughout the conversation to tell a particular story about the sons improvement over the season that culminated in the playoVs. Importantly, when other family members
contribute, their contributions, and especially their evaluations of the event
are re-interpreted by the father:
Dad: Kyle, why dont you take the story from here about the playoVs since you
were in em.
TC: We started oV with six teams then three of the teams played each other
and then theres four teams watching. And um then two of the teams . . .
one team plays another team and then another team plays another team
and uh . . . Well, everyone goes to the championship and we won one of
those and we went to the championship and we won the championship.
Dad: You won three straight playoV games and so, for us, it was remarkable to
see a team that Wnished in the middle of the standings sweep at the end.
And there was much excitement and much joy and Kyle contributed a lot
to the teams winning.
Even when he explicitly asks for his sons contribution to the story, the father
takes back the Xoor, and re-narrates the events to conform to his own perspective. Thus in facilitated/moderated interactions, one parent takes on the
role of the narrator, and scaVolds the familys narration. In addition to providing the storyline, the parent also provides a particular perspective on why
this event was memorable and important, and may even impose this perspective on other family members.
DISHARMONIOUS INTERACTIONS
During disharmonious exchanges, family members appeared to be disconnected, not like-minded, and did not have a shared understanding of the
event. It must be emphasized that instances of this characteristic were isolated,
and did not dominate the entire conversation. In this example, the mother
and child are discussing a friend who had been living with them moving away,
and they have a disagreement about the daughters emotional reaction:
Mom:
Sib 1:
Mom:
Sib 1:
Mom:
Sib 1:
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Mom:
Sib 1:
Mom:
Sib 1:
Mom:
Sib 1:
Mom:
Sib 1:
71
Rather than accepting the childs assertion that she was not sad, the mother
insists that she was sad that afternoon. Disharmonious exchanges can also
include name-calling. Many families did tease each other or call each other
names in a joking manner. However, in disharmonious interactions, participants were serious as they put down other members of their family. Finally,
some families also used their conversation time to lecture their children.
These exchanges were counted as disharmonious when either the parent or
the child showed some negative aVect while lecturing or being lectured to
(frustration, anger, sadness, exasperation). Again, these exchanges were not
conducted in a teasing manner; the parents wanted the children to realize
what they did wrong. In this example, the event involved the child crashing
his bike through a window just as the family was leaving for vacation.
Dad: Seems I recall asking him to put the scooter in the garage.
(3 exchanges take place in between)
TC: It was leaning this way and I was going to make it lean this way but I
didnt catch it and it went through. So I was gettin ready to go put it up.
Mom: But if you had put it up when you were told to put it up in the Wrst
place, do you think that would have happened?
TC: No. (long pause) No. (louder, again a pause) No! (child almost yells this
last response).
Mom: Okay.
The mother wanted to make the point that if the child had listened to his
stepfather and put the bike away when he was supposed to, this incident
would not have happened. When she asked him whether or not he thinks the
incident wouldve taken place if he had listened, she waits for several seconds
each time the child says No. The child became frustrated (or angry), and
raised his voice each time he repeated his answer. Once the mother thought
she adequately made her point, she says okay, and the conversation changes
direction. Again, no family was disharmonious across the entire conversation,
but a few families displayed these disharmonious characteristics at several
points during the interaction.
72
FIVUSH ET AL.
As already discussed, we argue that the ways in which families reminisce about
the events of their lives has implications for childrens developing sense of self
and emotional well-being. How might these diVerent narrative characteristics
be related to these issues? Families that narrate the past in collaborative ways
weave stories that are mutually shared. Most important, family members
build the narrative together, each additional piece of information contributing to a coherent narrative told from a shared, uniWed perspective. In this way,
collaborative narratives may help children to understand themselves as part of
a cohesive family unit that shares a mutual understanding of important
events. Cooperative interactions, in contrast, do not build a uniWed narrative,
but rather form individual but still validated narratives. Family members actively solicit and conWrm each others versions of what happened, leading to a
narrative told from multiple individual perspectives. Cooperative interactions
may help children build a sense of self as an individual, separate from but still
supported by other family members, as well as helping children learn how
other family members react to and evaluate events. Both collaborative and cooperative interactions are emotionally open and involve sharing among all
family members, but each focus on a diVerent sense of self-construal.
Child-centered interactions also solicit and validate the childs view of the
event, but, whereas in cooperative interactions all members of the family share
their perspective, in child-centered interactions the parents do not present
their own view. The childs perspective is accepted and validated but is not
shared by or interweaved with other family members perspectives. Thus, in
child-centered interactions, children are learning to deWne self as separate but,
unlike in collaborative and cooperative interactions, they are not simultaneously learning how others may think about the past. In this way, children are
learning about self as an individual but may not be learning how to place their
own individual perspective in the context of the family. The mirror image
of this style is facilitated/moderated, in which the childs perspective may be
solicited but is not validated. Instead, the parent imposes a particular form on
the narrative and even a particular perspective. Children are learning that self
is deWned as a part of the family and this is further deWned as having a speciWc,
imposed perspective (as opposed to a negotiated, shared perspective as in collaborative interactions). Finally, disharmonious interactions lead to a fragmented sense of self; the child is deWned in opposition to rather than as a part
of the family unit, and interactions are emotionally negative. The childs perspective is not validated; indeed, it is often explicitly contradicted.
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Again, we emphasize that most families show elements of many characteristics, and therefore, not surprisingly, childrens sense of self emerging from
these interactions is complicated and multilayered. Indeed, it may be the case
that families that show a balanced use of all Wve characteristics lead to the
most diVerentiated sense of self and the greatest sense of emotional well-being
in their children. Further analyses on our data set will hopefully answer some
of these questions.
From a clinical perspective, researchers have expanded their focus in recent
years from intervention and prevention only to also consider the ways in
which children and adults overcome adversity in their private and public
lives. Practicing clinicians, for example, have reported a signiWcant increase in
cases dealing with family stress, childhood fears, and general adjustment
problems. In addition, several books have appeared which have as their main
focus the topics of increasing resilience (e.g., Brooks & Goldstein, 2002;
Reivich & Shatte, 2002) and of the salutary eVects of storytelling on wellbeing and adjustment in adults and children (Smith, 1990). Finally, one cannot ignore the potential immunizing eVects (though not yet documented) of
works such as the books by Lemony Snicket in which the child protagonists
demonstrate resilience by overcoming terrible situations (Snicket, 2001).
In addition to examining the relation between family reminiscing interactions and well-being, our project will also delve into the ameliorative or
immunizing beneWts of narrative content. This component reXects clinically
derived hunches that the telling of family stories appears to mediate the
development of resilience in children. While not systematic, there is much
experiential data to suggest that children raised in families that tell stories
about themselvesfamily histories, family legends seem to raise children that have a lower incidence of maladjustment as well as better prognoses
for recovery. Through clinical interviews and other diagnostic techniques and
through case studies, clinicians and educators have long known the beneWts
of the sense of stability, continuity, and strength that seems to arise when children know of their background, the good things as well as the bad. Again, we
hope to address these issues in further analyses of the family narratives and
relations between the narratives and standardized measures of family and
child functioning.
CONCLUSIONS
74
FIVUSH ET AL.
childrens social and emotional well-being. During the preschool years, when
children are just beginning to share their experiences with others, more elaborative parents facilitate the development of narrative skills, such that children of highly elaborative parents come to tell more detailed and embellished
narratives of their personal past. Moreover, parents who reminisce in more
emotionally elaborative ways have children who come to tell more emotionally rich narratives of their own past. Intriguingly, elaborative reminiscing
is related to attachment, suggesting that parents and children who are coconstructing more embellished narratives of their shared past are creating and
maintaining strong and secure emotional bonds. Our current research with
families with preadolescent children extends these Wndings. Our preliminary
analyses of these conversations focuses on individual diVerences in the ways
in which families co-construct stories of emotionally positive and negative
events, and reveals intriguing diVerences in this process. Most important, this
research illustrates that family narratives are not simply about what has happened in the past; they are very much a part of the way in which families
recreate themselves as a social and emotional unit in the present.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Some of the research reported in this chapter was supported by a grant from
the Sloan Foundation supporting the Emory Center for Myth and Ritual in
American Life. We would like to thank Justin Rowe, Stacy Zolondek, Carla
Gober, Jean Mennuti-Washburn, Deborah Yunker and Amber Lazarus for
help in data collection and preparation.
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Bluck, S., & Alea, N. (2002). Exploring the functions of autobiographical memory. In J. D.
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Fivush, R. (1991). Gender and emotion in mother-child conversations about the past. Journal
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76
FIVUSH ET AL.
4
Coherence and Representations
in Preschoolers Narratives:
Associations With Attachment
in Infancy
Efrat Sher-Censor
David Oppenheim
University of Haifa
77
78
S H E R - C E N S O R A N D O P PE N H E I M
ATTACHMENT THEORY
INTRODUCTION
According to attachment theory (Bowlby, 1967/1982), infants are preadapted to seek their caregivers proximity in order to receive comfort, soothing, and protection. Depending on the caregivers sensitivity in responding
to these needs, infants develop, toward the end of their Wrst year of life,
behavioral strategies designed to manage their distress (Ainsworth, Blehar,
Waters, & Wall, 1978; Bowlby, 1967/1982; De WolV & van IJzendoorn,
1997). These strategies can be assessed using the Strange Situation Procedure
(SSP; Ainsworth et al., 1978), a validated laboratory procedure (van IJzendoorn & Kroonenberg, 1988) that involves a series of increasingly stressful
episodes, including short separations between the infants and their caregivers.
In assessing infants strategies, special emphasis is given to their behaviors
towards their caregivers during the reunion episodes.
In an optimal attachment relationship, referred to as secure attachment,
infants express their attachment needs freely and expect to receive sensitive
and responsive reactions from their caregivers (Bowlby, 1967/1982). In
the SSP such infants, referred to as securely attached and designated B, seek
their caregivers physical or psychological proximity and calm down quickly
(Ainsworth et al., 1978). When the caregivers are less sensitive, insecure
attachment relationships develop: Infants whose attachment behaviors are
usually ignored or rejected by their caregivers learn to avoid expressing their
attachment needs. In the SSP such infants, designated A, turn or walk away
from their caregivers or refuse to interact with them (Ainsworth et al., 1978).
When the caregivers are inconsistently sensitive to their infants bids for comfort and soothing, infants learn to maximize their attachment signaling. This
strategy is displayed in the SSP by infants ambivalent behaviors (e.g., a desire
for proximity mixed with angry behavior) or prolonged expressions of distress
(Ainsworth et al., 1978). These infants are designated C. Finally, when
caregivers behave incoherently or in frightened or frightening ways towards
their infants, the infants might have transient breakdowns in their behavioral
strategy (Main & Hesse, 1990; Main & Solomon, 1986). This disorganized
strategy, designated D, is displayed in the SSP through contradictory features of attachment strategies (e.g., combination of resistance and avoidance)
or through showing odd behaviors, such as freezing or showing stereotypic
movements (Main & Solomon, 1986).
4.
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79
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S H E R - C E N S O R A N D O P PE N H E I M
access to attachment-related information. Thus, we might expect secure childrens narratives to openly, coherently, and in an emotionally regulated way
include nurturance as well fear, sadness, and anger themes in their narratives.
Insecurely attached childrens narratives, in contrast, might be characterized
by lack of openness and coherence, involving overemphasis of either positive
or negative themes, and by diYculties in maintaining regulation and Xexibility when narrating about such themes. In sum, we might expect diVerences
not only in the content of these childrens narratives but also in the coherence
of their narratives. These ideas have received some support from studies of
childrens IWMs of attachment assessed through the narratives they produce,
and we review these next.
Two narrative techniques have been employed to study preschoolers attachment representations. The Wrst was an adaptation of the Separation Anxiety
Test (SAT; Klagsburn & Bowlby, 1976), which consists of a set of pictures
showing parents and children in a series of increasingly stressful attachmentrelated scenes (e.g., a child watches a parent leave). Preschoolers were asked to
respond to the SAT pictures by describing how the child in the picture feels
and what he will do and what they themselves would do in similar situations
(Slough & Greenberg, 1990). The second, which was also used in the study
described in this chapter, involved story-completion tasks in which children
were asked to construct narratives about attachment related themes (Bretherton, Ridgeway, & Cassidy, 1990; Oppenheim, 1997; Solomon, George, &
DeJong, 1995; Waters, Rodrigues, & Ridgway, 1998) as well as other aVective themes (Cassidy, 1988; Green, Stanley, Smith, & Goldwyn, 2000) in
response to story stems presented to them using a family of dolls. The dolls
were used in order to facilitate the narrative production of younger children
for whom a purely verbal task might be too diYcult. Findings from studies
using these techniques have shown that childrens attachment as assessed in
infancy (Bretherton, Ridgeway, & Cassidy, 1990; Main et al., 1985) or concurrently (Cassidy, 1988; Shouldice & Stevenson-Hinde, 1992; Slough &
Greenberg, 1990; Solomon et al., 1995) was meaningfully related to their
narrative productions.
Secure children tended to construct coherent stories (Solomon et al., 1995).
They also tended to express emotional openness and describe the protago-
4.
P R E S C H O O L E R S N A R R AT I V E S
81
82
S H E R - C E N S O R A N D O P PE N H E I M
the narratives without a clear distinction between the two. In Cassidys study
(1988), for example, only the content of the stories was examined, and
Bretherton, Ridgeway, and Cassidy (1990) examined content as the criterion
for security and incoherence as the marker of insecurity. In the Solomon et al.
(1995) study the two criteria are combined in one classiWcation system, and
this is similar in the SAT scales (Main et al., 1985; Shouldice & StevensonHinde, 1992; Slough & Greenberg, 1990). Because, as reviewed earlier, the
content/coherence distinction has emerged as central in the analysis of adult
attachment narratives, it seems important to apply it systematically in the
study of child narratives as well. Therefore, the present study examined separately the links between attachment in infancy and the coherence and content
of preschoolers narratives. In examining the coherence of the narratives, we
used the Robinson, Mantz-Simmons, MacWe, & The MacArthur Narrative
Working Group (1992) Coherence scale. The scale measures the Xuency of
the narrative as well as the way narrators address the problem in the story
stem: their acknowledgment and understanding of the problem and its resolution. In examining the content of childrens narratives, we focused on the
domains deemed relevant to attachment in previous research (Bretherton,
Ridgeway, & Cassidy, 1990): the degree to which children portray the child
protagonist and parental Wgures as competent in dealing with emotionally
stressful situations.
The second issue involves the distinction between avoidant and ambivalent attachments. There were only a few infants with ambivalent attachments
in the studies reviewed previously, as is typical for studies conducted in North
America and Western Europe (van IJzendoorn & Sagi, 1999). Due to this
limitation we know much less about the expression of ambivalence in child
narratives. Because the emotion and attention regulation strategies characteristic of ambivalent attachments are quite diVerent (and perhaps even opposite) from those characteristic of avoidant attachment (Cassidy & Berlin,
1994; Dozier & Kobak, 1993), there is reason to believe that the expression
of ambivalence in child narratives might be quite diVerent from that of children with avoidant attachment. The present study, conducted in Israel where
most insecurely attached children have ambivalent attachments, provided an
opportunity to examine this issue.
The third issue is that only two of the studies mentioned herein were longitudinal and examined the link between attachment in infancy and later narratives (Bretherton, Ridgeway, & Cassidy, 1990; Main et al., 1985), whereas
the other studies used concurrent assessments of attachment and narratives
using the Cassidy and Marvin (1989) coding system. The validity of this
assessment, particularly in terms of longitudinal links with infant-mother
4.
P R E S C H O O L E R S N A R R AT I V E S
83
attachment has received little support, however (Bar-Haim, Sutton, Fox, &
Marvin, 2000). Therefore an additional goal for this study was to replicate
the Wndings linking attachment as assessed in infancy using the well-validated
Strange Situation with preschoolers narratives.
A Wnal issue was that most of the studies reviewed included only attachment-related stems or did not make clear distinctions between these stems
and stems about other emotional issues. Thus it is unclear whether the Wndings are speciWc to narratives about attachment issues, which would be consistent with the idea that narrative methods assess IWMs of attachment, or
whether the Wndings are more general and involve childrens narration about
a wider range of aVective themes. Therefore, The MacArthur Story Stem Battery (MSSB; Bretherton, Oppenheim, Buchsbaum, Emde, & MacArthur
Narrative Group, 1990), which includes story stems that cover a range of
emotional issues, was used in the present study, and a distinction was made
between stories about attachment themes and stories about other emotional
themes. We describe the MSSB next.
THE MSSB
The MSSB is a structured story-completion task in which children are presented with story beginnings, or stems, and are asked to complete the stories. The development of the MSSB was inXuenced by psychoanalytic play
therapy (e.g., Erikson, 1950; Freud, 1946) as well as by research on early
emotional (e.g., Wolf, Rygh, & Altshuler, 1984) and cognitive development
(e.g., Nelson & Gruendel, 1981). The MSSB was designed to gain insight
into childrens inner worlds, including their representations of interpersonal
relationships with family and peers and their moral understanding (for
review, see Bretherton & Oppenheim, in press). Therefore, the story beginnings portray a variety of emotional issues drawn from childrens everyday
life, including family conXicts, transgressions, and attachment-related interactions in which children are in need of comfort and security.
The story stems begin with a background setting, followed by a complication or a problem that the protagonist has to face. The stems are enacted
using a standard doll family in a dramatic and playful way designed to engage
the child. The examiner ends the enactment at the climax of the drama, leaving room for the child to decide how to deal with the presented problem and
in which direction to lead the story. The MSSB is the most commonly used
story-stem assessment of childrens emotion narratives, and there is considerable evidence regarding its validity: MSSB narratives have been linked to
84
S H E R - C E N S O R A N D O P PE N H E I M
Participants
One hundred thirteen children and their mothers were selected for longitudinal investigation from a larger sample of 758 infant-mother dyads (Sagi,
Koren-Karie, Gini, Ziv, & Joels, 2002). Participants were recruited when the
infants were born. Inclusion criteria for mothers were: a nonrisk pregnancy, a
minimum of 2 years residence in Israel, and mastery of the Hebrew language.
When children approached the age of 4.5 years, a subsample was contacted
again and invited to participate in the follow-up study (Oppenheim, KorenKarie, & Sagi, 2001). The majority (89%) of mothers with whom successful
contact was established agreed to participate in the study. Children in the
present study were selected based on their attachment classiWcations in infancy with the intention to create a sample with a large proportion of insecure
4.
P R E S C H O O L E R S N A R R AT I V E S
85
children. All ambivalent (C) and disorganized (D) infants whose classiWcations were available at the time of the follow-up were therefore included in the
present study. A group of randomly selected (except for approximately equal
representation of both genders) secure (B) infants approximately equal in size
to the C group was selected. No avoidant (A) infants were included, since the
avoidant classiWcation is extremely rare in Israel (van IJzendoorn & Sagi, 1999).
The present sample constituted 45 B (24 girls, 21 boys), 47 C (24 girls, 23
boys), and 21 D (10 girls, 11 boys) children.1 Mean age of the children at the
follow-up was 54.9 months (range 5356 months). Mean number of children in the participating families at the time of the follow-up was 2.6 (range
15). Twenty-nine percent of the children were Wrst-borns. Mean age of
mothers at the time of the follow-up was 33.8 (range 2445). At the time of
recruitment, when the children were infants, all families were intact. At the
time of the follow-up, 97% remained intact, 1% was divorced, and 2% were
widowed. Maternal education ranged between 10 and 20 years of education
(M = 13.6 , SD = 2.07). Comparisons of the participants in the follow-up
sample with the larger sample of 758 participants revealed no signiWcant differences in SES, number of children, birth order of the target child, maternal
education, and maternal age.
Procedure
Between the ages of 12 and 16 months (M = 12.51) infants and their mothers were invited to a laboratory playroom and were observed in the SSP.
The procedure was videotaped. At the age of approximately 4.5 years, the
children and their mothers were invited to the laboratory playroom again for
a 1.5-hour visit. After several joint tasks for the children and their mothers,
they were separated. Subsequently, the children participated in the MSSB.
The entire task was videotaped. Following the MSSB, an examiner administered to the child a vocabulary test.
Assessments
Strange Situation Procedure (SSP)
86
S H E R - C E N S O R A N D O P PE N H E I M
4.
P R E S C H O O L E R S N A R R AT I V E S
87
88
S H E R - C E N S O R A N D O P PE N H E I M
RESULTS
4.
P R E S C H O O L E R S N A R R AT I V E S
89
of the story groups, and then we turn to examine the relations between attachment classiWcations in infancy and the narrative scales.
Preliminary Analyses
Gender Differences
While gender and coherence in the attachment stories were only marginally associated (t = -1.72 , p = 0.09), associations were found between gender and coherence in the emotional conXict stories and transgression stories.
Compared to boys, girls narrated more coherent emotional conXict stories
(Mgirls = 5.01, Mboys = 4.25, t = -1.11, p < 0.02) and transgression stories
(Mgirls = 5.61, Mboys = 5.04, t = -1.00, p < 0.03). Gender was also related to
the competent child representations scale: Girls described in their emotional
conXict and transgression stories more competent children compared to
boys (Mgirls = 4.48, Mboys = 3.86, t = -1.62, p < 0.001 and Mgirls = 4.23,
Mboys = 3.93, t = -0.82 , p < 0.051 in the two story groups respectively).
There were no gender diVerences on competent child representations scale
in attachment stories. Finally, gender was associated with competent caregiver representations scale in the attachment stories: Compared to boys, girls
described more competent caregivers (Mgirls = 4.56, Mboys = 4.24 , t = -0.87,
p < 0.04). Consistent with most attachment studies, no association was
found between attachment classiWcations and gender (c2 (2, N = 113) =
.19, ns).
Vocabulary
Positive correlations were found between childrens vocabulary and coherence in the attachment stories (r (111) = .17, p < .04), emotional conXict
stories (r (112) = .27, p < .002) and transgression stories (r (112) = .25,
p < .004). Because gender was also associated with the coherence scale in two
of the three story groups, we examined next whether the gender diVerences
we found in coherence were a function of gender diVerences in vocabulary.
ANCOVAs comparing coherence scores of boys and girls while controlling
for vocabulary ruled out this possibility: The association between gender and
coherence scores in emotional conXict and transgression stories remained signiWcant (F (2, 109) = 6.74, p < .011; F (2, 109) = 5.03, p < .027, respectively). Childrens vocabulary was not associated with the competent child
representations or with the competent caregiver representations scales. In
addition, childrens vocabulary was not associated with attachment classiWcations (F (2, 109) = .12 , p > .886).
90
S H E R - C E N S O R A N D O P PE N H E I M
The narrative scales were positively correlated among themselves and across
stories. SpeciWcally, the coherence scale was positively correlated with the
competent child representations and with competent caregiver representations scales in all three story groups, with correlations ranging between .23
and .50 (all ps < .007). The competent child representations scale was positively correlated with the competent caregiver representations scale in all
three story groups as well, with correlations ranging between .27 and .33 (all
ps < .002). Most inter-correlations of the scales across stories were positive
and signiWcant. More speciWcally, the inter-correlations of the coherence scale
ranged between .64 and .70 (all ps < .001), the inter-correlations of the
competent caregiver representations scale ranged between .23 and .30 (all
ps < .01). The inter-correlation of the competent child representations scale
in attachment and transgression stories was not signiWcant (r (100) = .03,
p > .39). The inter-correlations of this scale in the attachment and emotional
conXict narratives and in transgression and emotional conXict narratives were
positive and signiWcant (r (98) = .27, p < .004, r (111) = .25, p < .004, respectively), however. Thus, although there were quite a few signiWcant correlations across the stories, we examined the links with attachment separately for
each scale and for each story group for the reasons described earlier.
Attachment in Infancy, Gender,
and the Narrative Scales
4.
91
P R E S C H O O L E R S N A R R AT I V E S
TABLE 4.1
Mean Number of Coherent Narratives
According to Attachment ClassiWcations in Infancy
Story Group
Attachment
Emotional conXict
Transgression
Secure
M (SD)
Ambivalent
M (SD)
Disorganized
M (SD)
t(B vs. C)
t(B vs. D)
1.73 (.34)
1.39 (.35)
1.52 (.34)
1.49 (.34)
1.23 (.33)
1.49 (.34)
1.62 (.32)
1.24 (.32)
1.44 (.35)
1.7**
1.2**
.20
.63
.90*
.43
bottom part of the coherence scale) and to de-emphasize individual diVerences within the coherent range of the scale (i.e., the top part of the scale).
The cut-oV point was 5, since scores of 6 and above describe stories that
have all the required elements of a coherent story an organized storyline
that addresses openly the main problem of the story stem and ends with a resolution of the problem without resorting to a simpliWed solution. The dichotomized coherence scores were averaged across the three stories within each of
the three story groups. Next, we computed three sets of planned comparisons
with attachment classiWcations as the independent variable and the coherence
scores as the dependent variables. B children, as hypothesized, had more
coherent attachment stories compared to C children (see Table 4.1). There was
no signiWcant diVerence between the mean number of coherent attachment
stories of B and D children. As hypothesized, B children also had more coherent emotional conXict stories compared to C as well as D children. Finally, in
contrast to our hypotheses, no signiWcant diVerence was found in the number
of coherent transgression stories between B, C, or D children.2
Attachment in Infancy and Competent
Child Representations
92
S H E R - C E N S O R A N D O P PE N H E I M
TABLE 4.2
Competent Child Representations Scores
According to Attachment ClassiWcations in Infancy
Story Group
Attachment
Emotional conXict
Transgression
Secure
M (SD)
Ambivalent
M (SD)
Disorganized
M (SD)
t(B vs. C)
t(B vs. D)
4.19 (1.12)
4.3 (1.07)
3.93 (1.06)
4.19 (1.01)
4.16 (1.04)
4.18 (.98)
3.65 (1.11)
3.94 (1.03)
4.18 (.74)
.01
.32
-.62
.91*
.64
-.49
*p < .05.
hypotheses, planned comparisons with attachment classiWcations as independent variable and competent child representations in both the transgression and
the emotional conXict stories as dependent variables revealed no signiWcant
diVerences.
Attachment in Infancy and Competent
Caregiver Representations
Story Group
Attachment
Emotional conXict
Transgression
*p < .05.
Secure
M (SD)
Ambivalent
M (SD)
Disorganized
M (SD)
t(B vs. C)
4.57 (.86)
3.96 (1.21)
4.61 (.79)
4.22 (.95)
3.65 (1.24)
4.46 (.71)
4.49 (1.05)
3.64 (1.26)
4.76 (.46)
.84*
.58
.51
t(B vs. D)
.14
.47
-.41
4.
P R E S C H O O L E R S N A R R AT I V E S
93
Our third hypothesis was that D children would include more aggressive and
destructive themes in their narratives compared to children who had organized attachment classiWcations (either B or C) in infancy. In order to examine this hypothesis we combined the B and C groups into one, non-D group.
A one-tailed chi-square test revealed a signiWcant association between the
D attachment classiWcation in infancy and aggressive and destructive themes
in the attachment stories (c2 (1, N = 113) = 8.41 , p = .004, Fishers Exact
Test). D children were more likely to show aggressive and destructive themes
than non-D children in their attachment stories. One-tailed chi-square tests
did not reveal signiWcant associations between the D attachment classiWcation
in infancy and aggressive and destructive themes in the emotional conXict stories (c2 (1, N = 113) = .228, p = .168, Fishers Exact Test) and the transgression stories (c2 (1, N = 113) = .16, p = .182, Fishers Exact Test).
DISCUSSION
94
had ambivalent attachments, and they also described more competent children in these narratives compared to preschoolers who had disorganized
attachments. These Wndings, while somewhat less strong than the coherence
Wndings (at least in terms of the number of the associations), are consistent
with previous studies linking preschoolers narratives and attachment. They
indicate that secure preschoolers are more likely to portray caregivers and
children as handling attachment-related stressful situations competently. We
now continue the discussion by focusing separately on secure, ambivalent and
disorganized children.
Secure Attachment and Preschoolers Narratives
4.
P R E S C H O O L E R S N A R R AT I V E S
Child as narrator:
Examiner:
Child as narrator:
95
As can be seen in this example, this secure child constructs a coherent and
Xuent story with a well-organized storyline. She clearly understands the problem of the scary monster posed in the stem and addresses it openly. She
describes and enacts the protagonists and the parents emotional reactions to
the source of danger (the protagonist cries, the parents are concerned about
her distress, and later mother expresses her fear of the spider). Moreover, she
succeeds in Wnding a resolution. The Wrst solution she develops, in which
the spider goes to sleep, appears not to satisfy her, so she moves on to Wnd a
better, irreversible solution: The father faces the spider, and kills it. The story
ends with closurethe spider is dead, thrown away, and they live happily
ever after. The childs security is also expressed in the competence she attributes to the child and parents. The child protagonist, Hagit, actively seeks help
from her parents by calling them and telling them what happened. The parents are responsive to her cry, and the father helps resolve the problem: He
searches for the monster-spider and kills it.
This case example is in accordance with the way secure IWMs are conceptualized. The eVective responses secure children receive are thought to be
internalized (Bowlby 1967/1982), and it is possible that such internalizations
were reXected in the descriptions of competent caregivers we discovered in
childrens story completions. Furthermore, secure children are presumed to
develop complementary representations of the self as worthy of care and
capable of dealing with problems, and it is possible that these representations
were reXected in their descriptions of the child protagonists dealing eVectively
with the stressful situations or openly communicating their need for help.
The coherence and representations of the narratives of secure children
may also be a function of the parent-child communication patterns of which
they were a part. As suggested by Fivush and colleagues (chapter 3, this volume) and Peterson and McCabe (chapter 2, this volume), childrens narrative
skills are shaped by parent-child communication. Furthermore, both theory
(Bretherton & Munholland, 1999; Oppenheim & Waters, 1995) and research (Etzion-Carasso & Oppenheim, 2000; Koren-Karie, Oppenheim,
Haimovich, & Etzion-Carasso, 2003; Main et al., 1985) have suggested that
96
Compared to secure children, ambivalent children tended to have fewer coherent attachment and emotional conXict stories. These preschoolers seemed
to have diYculties in keeping an organized storyline and/or in openly addressing the themes and bringing them to a resolution. Ambivalent children also
tended to describe less competent caregivers when dealing with attachment
issues, compared to children who were secure in infancy. The monster story
of an ambivalent child can exemplify these diYculties:
Child:
Mother wakes up.
Examiner: Can you show me how?
Child:
Like that. And then Gil (the protagonist) told her what was going
on.
Examiner: What did he tell her?
Child:
That . . . I have to think.
Examiner: You can think.
Child:
I dont know.
Examiner: And then what did he tell her? She woke up and came, and then
what happened?
Child:
She told him: What is that noise?
Examiner doesnt understand the childs words and asks him to repeat.
Child:
Gil said that it was a monster.
Examiner: And then what happens?
Child:
He wanted to go and see what was going on.
Examiner: Yes.
Child:
I dont know.
Examiner: And then what happened?
Child:
I dont know.
Examiner: Try to think.
Child:
But I dont know.
Examiner: You can make up whatever you want . . . what happened after Gil
wanted to know what was going on?
Child:
I dont know.
Examiner: What did they do? Lets think, did they do anything else? Did they
say anything?
Child:
I dont know.
4.
P R E S C H O O L E R S N A R R AT I V E S
Examiner:
Child:
Examiner:
Child:
Examiner:
Child:
Examiner:
Child:
97
The story constructed by this child lacks coherence: It is not Xuent, and
although the child expresses an understanding of the problem (the mother
responds to her childs cry, and both mother and child are aware of the problem), the child does not succeed in developing a story and in Wnding a way to
resolve the problem. Only after many prompts the child brings the story to an
end, but he uses a simpliWed solutionthe monster goes away. No explanation is oVered regarding the process that led to its leaving. In addition, the
maternal Wgure is not portrayed as competent in a time of need. Although the
mother responds to her child (she wakes up and inquires about the noise), she
does not face the monster or help in any other way to calm the child down.
These portrayals are consistent with what we know about ambivalent
attachments. It has been suggested that mothers of ambivalent children are at
times as responsive as the mothers of secure children, but at other times are
unresponsive (Ainsworth, 1984). Due to this inconsistency it is hard for
ambivalent infants to develop conWdent expectations of their caregivers, and
this lack of conWdence is presumed to be reXected in their IWMs. In this
study we found that ambivalent children reXect such expectations in their
story completions by portraying a caregiver who rejects, ignores, or is incompetent in helping the child protagonist in the stressful attachment situation.
The incoherence of ambivalent preschoolers narratives might reXect their
biased information processing. These children, as already mentioned, are presumed to have a bias toward the frightening aspects of the environment and
towards negative emotional expressions (Cassidy, 1994; Kobak & Sceery,
1988). Presented with stressful emotional story stems, such bias might make
it diYcult for them to construct a narrative with an organized storyline concerning the stressful issue, and to bring the issue to resolution.
As in the case of secure children, childrens narratives might also reXect
their experiences communicating with their parents about aVective issues.
Mothers who were classiWed as preoccupied in the AAI (a classiWcation that
parallels the ambivalent classiWcation of infants in the Strange Situation; van
IJzendoorn, 1995) have been found in several studies to show diYculties in
scaVolding their children and in leading an open and coherent dialogue with
98
S H E R - C E N S O R A N D O P PE N H E I M
4.
P R E S C H O O L E R S N A R R AT I V E S
99
had more aggressive and destructive themes than non-D children, only one
third of D children included such themes. Thus, such themes are clearly not
characteristic of all children classiWed as Disorganized.
D children, in sum, showed some diYculties in their narratives compared
to B and C children, but did not emerge in this study as performing consistently worse than all other children, as might be expected. One possible
explanation is that the narrative measures we used were not sensitive enough
to detect the unique expressions of disorganization. Another possibility is lack
of stability of the D classiWcation. Because we did not have a concurrent attachment measure it is possible that the children classiWed disorganized as
infants were no longer disorganized as preschoolers. It should be recalled that
only one previous study using narratives found signiWcant diVerences between
the narratives of D and non-D children (Solomon et al., 1995), and in that
study the narrative assessments and attachment classiWcations were concurrent. Moreover, studies of D childrens emotional and behavioral adaptation
in the years after infancy, particularly when dealing with children from lowrisk samples such as ours, are not conclusive (for review of these studies see
Lyons-Ruth & Jacobvitz, 1999). Thus, while we found that preschoolers who
had disorganized attachments as infants showed markers of diYculties when
narrating about attachment and emotional conXict topics, the mixed picture
of our Wndings calls for more research and for caution in reaching sweeping
conclusions about the narratives of these children.
Domain Specificity: Different Findings
in Different Stories
The use of the MSSB, which includes not only story stems that target attachment themes but also story stems about other emotionally laden themes,
permitted us to examine whether the link between attachment and later narratives is speciWc to story stems about attachment or is also evident in story
stems raising other emotional themes. Our Wndings indicated that the links
were not general, and did not cut across all emotion narratives. In general,
and perhaps not surprisingly, attachment narratives were most productive in
revealing attachment-related diVerences. Both the coherence and the content
of these narratives were related to attachment in infancy. Emotional conXict
narratives were less productive. Their coherence, but not their content, was
related to attachment. Last, the transgression narratives were the least productive, revealing no relations with attachment in infancy.
Thus, childrens responses to the story stems appear to relate to the speciWc
emotional domain tapped by the stems. Our Wndings suggest that attachment
100
S H E R - C E N S O R A N D O P PE N H E I M
and transgression are seen by children as, and may very well be, distinct emotional domains. While transgression and morality are clearly very central in
the life of preschool children, there are no consistent Wndings regarding links
between these domains and attachment. Although it has been suggested (for
review, see Bretherton, Golby, & Cho, 1997) that mothers of secure infants
tend more than mothers of insecure children to sensitively combine explanations in their discipline (Stayton, Hogan, & Ainsworth, 1973) and that their
children in infancy (Stayton et al., 1973) and toddlerhood (Londerville &
Main, 1981) show more signs of internalization of moral values, other studies have shown that toddlers security of attachment is not related to maternal
observed discipline style and is only moderately correlated with maternal selfreports about discipline practices (Kochanska, 1995). Moreover, Kochanska
found that although both attachment quality and maternal discipline practices are possible antecedents for socialization, their impact is moderated by
child temperament (Kochanska, 1995, 1997).
The results of this study highlight the importance of the speciWc emotional
domains raised in the story stems and suggest that children respond in a discriminated way to the stems based on the emotional domains they tap. We
oVer two implications for research: First, researchers are advised to select from
the MSSB story stems based on their focus of interest (and may also construct
additional story stems if the domain is not suYciently covered in the MSSB;
Bretherton & Oppenheim, 2003). Second, while it is common to aggregate
measures across story stems in order to increase reliability, this strategy may
mask important diVerences between the stories. Even when measures obtained
from the stories are signiWcantly correlated with each other (as were the measures in this study), permitting the creation of an aggregate score, it is quite
possible that associations with an external correlate (such as attachment, in
this study) are speciWc to some, but not all, stories.
Gender Differences
4.
P R E S C H O O L E R S N A R R AT I V E S
101
causal organization (Buckner & Fivush, 1998; Fivush, 1998; Fivush, Haden,
& Adam, 1995), features that are part of our coherence scale. These diVerences have been linked to gender-related diVerences in parental style when
co-constructing narratives with their children about emotional experiences
(e.g., Fivush, 1991; Zahn-Waxler, Ridgeway, Denham, Usher, & Cole,
1993). Parents tend to support their daughters more during conversation and
they talk more about emotions, and elaborate and give more explanations
about the causes of the emotions when talking with their girls than with their
boys. Parents thus appear to encourage in their children gendered communication styles, and these may be manifested in childrens own narratives, as was
found regarding coherence in this study (Oppenheim et al., 1997).
It is interesting to further speculate about the speciWc stories in which gender diVerences were found. Girls coherence and competent child representation scores were higher in the transgression and emotional conXict story
groups. Five of the six story stems included in these groups focus on violation
of maternal prohibitions and/or moral dilemmas. In the preschool years, girls
have been repeatedly found to be more advanced in their moral development.
They are more compliant with rules, and they show more signs of internalization of moral standards in their behavior (Kochanska, Padavich, & Koenig,
1996), as well as in their reactions to hypothetical situations, including narrative completion tasks (Kochanska, 1997; Kochanska et al., 1996). It could
be the case, therefore, that this gender diVerence was also reXected in the
higher coherence and the more competent child descriptions of girls identiWed in the story stems tapping morality, maternal prohibitions, and reactions
to transgressions.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Support for the study was provided by grant 812/95 from the Israel Science
Foundation to David Oppenheim and by the National Institute of Child
Health and Human Development grant number (RO1) #HD25975 to Abraham Sagi-Schwartz. This chapter is based in part on an MA thesis written by
Ella Wagner at the Department of Psychology, University of Haifa, Israel. We
would like to thank Abraham Sagi-Schwartz for making the sample available
for longitudinal investigation. We would also like to thank Rachel Bransky,
Yael Cohen, and Galit Gross for their help in administering the MacArthur
Story-Stem Battery and Smadar Dolev and Anat Heimberg for coding the
story stems. Finally, we would like to extend our thanks to the children and
mothers who participated in the study.
102
S H E R - C E N S O R A N D O P PE N H E I M
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4.
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APPENDIX 4.1
The MacArthur Story-Stem Battery (Stems Used in the Present Study)
Story Stem
Participants
2 siblings, parents,
grandmother
2 siblings, parents,
grandmother
2 siblings, friend,
parents
Child, parents
2 siblings, parents
The Bathroom
Shelf
2 siblings, mother
Brief Description
5
Childrens Empathic Representations
in Relation to Early Caregiving
Patterns Among Low-Income
African American Mothers
JoAnn Robinson
University of Colorado
Michael Eltz
E. P. Bradley Hospital, Denver, CO
110
RO B I N S O N A N D E LT Z
EMPATHIC DEVELOPMENT
Research on the development of prosocial and empathic attitudes and behaviors in young children emphasizes the importance of parental empathy for the
childs needs, sensitive caregiving behaviors, and expectations and instructions by parents for the young child to behave prosocially (Zahn-Waxler &
Radke-Yarrow, 1990). Observational studies show that warmth and sensitive
interaction styles during non-distress situations also are related to childrens
empathy and prosocial behavior (Cummings, Hollenbeck, Iannotti, RadkeYarrow, & Zahn-Waxler, 1986) as well as with change toward greater empathy among toddlers (Robinson, Zahn-Waxler, & Emde, 1994). These Wndings are based on empirical research with samples that are nearly exclusively
middle-class and of European American descent, and where care giving is
centered on mothers. However, it is particularly interesting to study the development of prosocial attitudes and behaviors in minority children. Mutuality and communalism are cited as important values that are reXected in the
parenting practices and values of many minority groups and undergird relationships among adults and children, including African Americans, Latinos,
and Native Americans, and Hawaiians (Genero, 1995; Randolph & Koblinsky, 2001).
The more common methods employed to study parental inXuence on
empathy and prosocial development include responses to interview questions
or questionnaires about mothers own valuing of sympathetic behavior (e.g.,
Eisenberg, Fabes, Schaller, Carlo, & Miller, 1991) and about their responses
to childrens intentional or inadvertent behaviors that result in some injury or
loss to another child (Eisenberg & Fabes, 1998; Zahn-Waxler, Robinson, &
Emde, 1992). Zahn-Waxler and Radke-Yarrow (1982) used a diary method
where mothers recorded such naturally occurring instances, including their
5.
C H I L D R E N S E M PAT H I C R E P R E S E N TAT I O N S
111
responses to those instances, Wnding that greater use of reasoning rather than
punishments contributed to greater empathy in their children. These maternal reports were generally concurrent with observations of childrens empathy
in early childhood. In this study, we examine maternal empathic attitudes
during mothers pregnancy with the focal child.
Disciplinary practices are also considered an important part of the socialization of empathy. HoVman (2000) has argued that it is the disciplinary
interaction between parent and child following a transgression that serves as
the behavioral guide toward greater empathy and morality. Therefore, we
expected that more consistent (vs. inconsistent) discipline in response to
transgressions would have a positive inXuence on empathy, and included in
our study a measure of this when children were 6 years of age.
112
RO B I N S O N A N D E LT Z
5.
C H I L D R E N S E M PAT H I C R E P R E S E N TAT I O N S
113
song teasing and taunting voice as Ronnie and Sean kick ball) (Paul)
No, thats not fair. Thats not fair. Thats my ball! Oh shut up!
(destruction sounds as Ronnie hits Paul, knocks him down) Come on,
Brother. Forget him. (Ronnie and Sean play with ball) (Paul gets up and
says) Anyway, Im not dead now. (destruction sounds as Ronnie hits
Paul again.) But youll be dead now. Come on. Lets play. (Ronnie and
Sean resume playing) Ill beat you up again! (Destruction sounds as Ronnie hits Paul.) Watch me. Im going to kick you. (explosion sound) And
then Mom and Dad come back and see Ronnies friend on the ground.
Ronnie tells the story, but Dad said, Ronnie, you did it. You did it.
Youre mad because you had his ball, and he wants his ball. Shut up!
(Ronnie hits Dad, hits Mom) You too, Mom! Come on, Brother.
Lets forget these dead people.
Another child, responding to the same stem, is able to respond to the challenge by the friend with prosocial themes, repairing the conXict and including the younger sibling:
Child: And then he said, Thats my brother. If he cant play, Im not playing.
And then he took his ball and went home, and then he thought a
minute, and he came back. He (Ronnie) had his arms crossed. He put
them down, and he said, Paul, you came back. Then they faced each
other, and then he (Ronnie) put his hand up, and he (Paul) put his hand
up (as in High-Fives), and they hugged, and they were best friends again,
and then he (Ronnie) asked again, and Paul said, Okay. And he got his
ball, and he (Paul) rolled it to little brother, and he rolled it to Ronnie.
Elsewhere, we have discussed the potential of the MSSB to tap both the
symptoms and consequences of parenting dysfunction (Robinson, Herot,
Haynes, & Mantz-Simmons, 2000). Oppenheim, Emde, and Warren (1997)
provided some evidence for this when they examined childrens representations of mothers in their stories. Representations of mothers as warm and
nurturing were inversely correlated with mothers self-reports of depressive
symptoms as well as her reports of the childs behavior problems. Toth,
Cicchetti, MacWe, Maughan, and Vanmeenen (2000) found that parental
representations were negatively skewed among maltreated children. We will
include positive parental representations in our examination of childrens narrative themes.
An example of representations of parents and grandparents as nurturing
and aVectionate is seen in the following response to the Departure story,
where mom and dad leave for a trip and the children stay home with grandmother. As they leave, the younger sister protests, But I dont want you to
114
RO B I N S O N A N D E LT Z
go! This story is presented at the end of the battery, and it is interesting that
this child included elements from previous stories:
Child:
She starts crying, and then, Mom, Im going to miss you. Thank
you, sweetheart. Then she gave Shana a kiss, and then she went
over, and grandma put her arm around her. And then she said,
Shana, sometimes mom and your dad have to be alone. And then
Rhonda started crying, and she said, Okay. She went back over to
her sister, and they held hands, and then they (Mom and Dad) went
in the car.
Examiner: Now show me what the children do while the parents are away.
C:
They went in the back yard while grandma, she set the grill, and
then they started playing with her ball. They were kicking it to each
other, and then Paula. I need Paula.
E:
You can just pretend.
C:
And then Paula came over. She said, Hey, can I play? She said,
No, you cant play, Shana said. You didnt let me play last time.
But when I came back, I let you play. Oh yeah, thats right. Come
on. Then they started throwing the ball to each other. They were
sitting and rolling the ball to each other.
5.
C H I L D R E N S E M PAT H I C R E P R E S E N TAT I O N S
115
that shared care with family members can often oVer a positive and sensitive
substitute during mothers absence. This Wnding was not moderated by either
ethnicity or family income, suggesting that among low-income as well as
middle-income families, minority as well as nonminority families, relatives
and close friends often provide sensitive care. However, the NICHD study
sample is also largely middle class and of European American descent
(NICHD Early Child Care Research Network, 1998) and the poverty subsample quite small, leading to some uncertainty about the reliability of these
Wndings.
Our sample is comprised of African American mothers living in poverty,
many of whom were unmarried teens; a vulnerable segment of society in the
United States (McAdoo, 1995). Because sharing care with grandmother and
other kin is generally recognized as an important feature of the resiliency of
single African American mothers coping with economic adversity, we do not
have a priori hypotheses that one pattern of care will be associated with
greater prosocialness or less agonistic representations of relationships. However, we do propose that variation in maternal characteristics and motherchild relationship factors may be more strongly associated with childrens
empathy within the context of exclusive maternal care compared to shared
care arrangements.
SpeciWcally, we examine whether children receiving exclusive maternal care
or shared care during the Wrst 2 years diVer in the frequency of prosocial and
agonistic representations in their story completion narratives. Because patterns of care may reXect diVering levels of risk (e.g., shared care with grandmother may occur more frequently among very young mothers), we brieXy
describe demographic diVerences between women utilizing exclusive versus
shared care patterns. Finally, we explore whether there are advantages in
exclusive maternal care patterns for the development of empathy and prosociality in their children. SpeciWcally, we ask whether shared care patterns are
more likely to dilute the impacts of maternal attitudes that might be associated with childrens empathic and agonistic themes compared to exclusive
maternal care.
METHOD
Participants
Data for this report were gathered from a sample of low-income, African
American, Wrst-time mothers who had been recruited from a public health
116
RO B I N S O N A N D E LT Z
Mothers reported on the number of days per average week that diVerent caregivers served as the primary provider, to create caregiving percentage values
for each child at both the 12- and 24-month time periods. Parents identiWed
the number of days they were the primary caregiver for the child, as well as
the number of days other people in the childs life (i.e., grandmother, husband/boyfriend, plus two additional support people) served as the primary
provider. The total response was not limited (i.e., total could be more than
7 days), such that parents could identify days in which multiple people had
some period of primary caregiving responsibility. Percentages for all caregivers
were created by dividing the individual caregivers total days into the sum of
total days. Subsequently, cluster analysis was used to identify patterns of caregiving.
Because cluster analysis is an exploratory methodology, we sought a cluster
solution based on theoretical assumptions and then compared it to other
cluster analysis techniques. Theoretical decisions were based on research information on caregiving practices and demographic information on living
arrangements from several sources including the NICHD SECC (NICHD
5.
117
C H I L D R E N S E M PAT H I C R E P R E S E N TAT I O N S
Early Child Care Research Network, 1996, 1997a, 2000) where nonmaternal
care was most often provided by a father or grandparent during infancy and
toddlerhood. Similar patterns have been shown in demographic databases
(Federal Interagency Forum on Child and Family Statistics, 1999; United
States Census Bureau, 2000, 2003).
Given that the majority of children lived in the same household as the
mother, we presumed a strong likelihood that the mother would typically be
part of all caregiving compositions. Thus, clusters presented as likely were
mother and father/partner together, mother alone, and mother with grandmother, and mother with another relative or nonrelative. Thus, theoretically,
we expected four clusters of caregiving constellations. Because cluster analysis
is an exploratory methodology, we Wrst tested our theoretical expectations at
each time period and then compared it to other possible solutions with fewer
or greater number of clusters. In all approaches, the theoretically expected
groups were represented at 12 and 24 months.
Combining information from both age points produced a 4 4 matrix of
care patterns. In order to limit the amount of complexity we consider here,
we restricted our examination of the data to children whose mothers reported
similar caregiving arrangements across the Wrst 2 years (n = 193 children).
Sixty-one children (32%) had exclusive care from their mother; 42 (22%)
children had shared care from mother and grandmother; 41 children (21%)
had shared care from their mother and her husband/boyfriend; and 49 children (25%) had care distributed across multiple caregivers. See Table 5.1 for
distribution of caregivers within each group.
TABLE 5.1
Average Days per Week People Helped Care for Child
During First Two Years
Child Age
12 mos
Exclusive maternal care
Shared w/ grandmother
Shared w/ husband/boyfriend
Distributed care
24 mos
Exclusive maternal care
Shared w/ grandmother
Shared w/ husband/boyfriend
Distributed care
Mother
Grandmother
Husband/
Boyfriend
Helper 1
Helper 2
6.90
6.43
6.68
6.39
0.36
4.83
1.49
2.61
0.22
0.74
5.22
2.63
0.39
0.92
0.76
4.94
0.26
0.79
0.46
2.22
6.95
6.76
6.44
6.12
0.14
4.74
1.22
2.43
0.15
1.00
5.73
1.69
0.48
0.86
1.15
4.71
0.08
0.29
0.51
2.88
118
RO B I N S O N A N D E LT Z
During the year following kindergarten completion, after they had turned
6 years of age, the children and their mothers participated in a follow-up visit
at the study oYces. Childrens narrative representations were elicited using
eight story stems from the MacArthur Story Stem Battery (MSSB: Bretherton, Oppenheim, Buchsbaum, Emde, & the MacArthur Narrative Working
Group, 1990). Eight stems were selected to elicit themes about relationship
conXicts or loss (Lost Dog, Threes a Crowd, Lost Keys, Separation and Reunion, Scary Dog) and/or moral conXicts (Spilled Juice, Stolen Candy). The
story stems were administered during a lengthy assessment of the child and
were preceded by a 60-minute general abilities test and a 15-minute play
break with mom. This had the advantage of facilitating rapport with the
examiner, and minimizing problems of reticence for shy children.
Four narrative themes or clusters of themes are considered in our analyses: Prosocial Themes, Verbal Punishments, Parental Warmth, and Agonistic
Themes. Prosocial narrative themes that were scored included: empathy/
helping, aYliation, aVection, and positive ending of the story. Each theme
was scored as present/absent in each story. They were averaged within stories and then averaged across all stories (alpha = .51). Discipline themes that
included limiting-setting, scolding, or time-out were coded as Verbal Punishments. They were present or absent within each story and were averaged
across stories. Representations of parent Wgures (mothers, fathers, or grandmothers) as warm and nurturing were also scored as present or absent for
each parent Wgure within each story, and were averaged within and then
across stories. Agonistic themes included: refusal of empathy, dysregulated
aggression, use of physical punishments, and negative story ending (i.e.,
someone is in trouble or conXict continues at the end of the story). Refusal
of empathy and negative story ending were scored as present/absent in each
story; dysregulated aggression included up to four types of themes that were
weighted as: 1 = playful/verbal aggression, 2 = hurtful aggression, 3 =
unprovoked, poorly controlled aggression, and 4 = assaulting an adult. Each
variable was Wrst averaged across stories, standardized, and all variables were
then averaged together across all stories (alpha = .42). The relatively low
internal consistency is not considered a problem in the methodology since
children may include disparate elements to express the prosocial or agonistic thrust of their story.
Parent-child interaction videotaped during the play break was rated with
the Emotional Availability ScalesMiddle Childhood Version (Biringen,
5.
C H I L D R E N S E M PAT H I C R E P R E S E N TAT I O N S
119
Robinson, & Emde, 1993). The scales consist of Wve global ratings including
Maternal Sensitivity, which capture information about the mothers Xexibility, timing, and responsiveness with the child. For this investigation, we used
just the Maternal Sensitivity scale.
Maternal Psychological Characteristics. At the time of enrollment in
the study and prior to random assignment, mothers responded to an interview that included several demographic and psychological characteristics.
Two questionnaires tapped psychological characteristics: her recalled experience of warmth, rejection, and strictness in her relationship with her parents
growing up (Khaleque & Rohner, 2002; Rohner, 1990), and her attitudes
toward childrearing from the Adult/Adolescent Parenting Inventory (AAPI:
Bavolek, 1989; Lutenbacher, 2001). From the AAPI, we focused only on the
subscale tapping lack of empathy toward children. At the 6-year follow-up
the mother was asked whether her current male partner (either husband or
boyfriend) was involved in providing resources, comfort, or engaging in activities with her child. Yes/no responses to these questions were summed; data
were missing if the mother had no current partner. In addition, mothers
reported on their current parenting practices through the Alabama Parenting
Questionnaire (APQ: Shelton, Frick, & Wooton, 1996); we focused on the
Inconsistent Discipline subscale.
RESULTS
120
RO B I N S O N A N D E LT Z
TABLE 5.2
DiVerences Between Caregiving Groups on Maternal Characteristics
Exclusive
Shared Care w/
Maternal Care a Grandmother b
Maternal age
Education level
Discretionary income
Percent poverty neighborhood
Recalled warmth
Recalled rejection
Recalled strictness
Lack of empathy
Teaching task 2yr
# mos Birth Interval at 6 yr
Partner involvement 6yr
Inconsist. discipline 6yr
Mat. Sensitivity 6yr
18.85ab
10.85
2720abd
39.6ad
3.69ad
1.31
2.24
2.56abcd
38.37
42.30ac
1.26
2.19
5.93
17.36
9.38bacd
-173
37.3
3.55
1.46
2.33
2.90
36.77
35.51
1.09
2.25
5.84
18.00
10.16
79
29.5
3.45
1.48
2.39
2.86
38.75
45.35dbc
1.20
2.30
6.12
Key to superscripts: First letter signiWcantly diVerent from subsequent letters at p < .05.
5.
121
C H I L D R E N S E M PAT H I C R E P R E S E N TAT I O N S
TABLE 5.3
DiVerences in Narrative Representations Between Caregiving Groups
Prosocial themes
Verbal discipline
Parental warmth
Aggressive themes
Exclusive
Maternal Care a
Shared Care w/
Grandmother b
Shared Care
w/ Boyfriend c
Distributed
Care d
100.04
99.21
98.86
98.61
99.19
99.92
98.76
101.22ba
98.89
97.80
98.65
99.11
101.55
101.45
99.41
99.01
Key to superscripts: First letter signiWcantly diVerent from subsequent letters at p < .05.
ners with the child at age 6; women who had shared care with a partner in
infancy reported greater current partner involvement than either the distributed care group (p < .05) or the group sharing care with grandmother (p < .05).
There were no diVerences across groups for mothers reported inconsistent
discipline or her observed sensitivity at child age 6. In general, these results
showed the group sharing care with grandmother to be the most disadvantaged group.
Differences in Prosocial and Agonistic Theme Use
Across Caregiving Groups
Analysis of variance was also used to test for diVerence in narrative themes. As
can be seen in Table 5.3, children of women who used highly distributed care
created more prosocial/empathic themes than other children, although the
diVerences were nonsigniWcant trends. Average level of verbal punishment
themes also were greater for children who experienced distributed care, but
these diVerences, too, did not reach signiWcance. Children of women who
shared care with grandmother created narratives with more aggression and agonistic themes than children of women who had exclusive care (T1,167 = 2.62,
p < .05). NonsigniWcant trends were also found between children in shared
care with grandmother and those whose mothers shared care with a husband/
boyfriend or who had highly distributed care. DiVerences in agonistic themes
were not found between children in exclusive maternal care and the other two
groups. No diVerences were found for representations of maternal warmth.
Correlates of Prosocial and Agonistic Narrative
Themes Within Caregiving Groups
122
+p
.24+
.23
.09
-.09
-.05
-.19
-.12
-.17
-.06
.16
-.17
.37*
.02
-.03
.04
-.07
-.04
.16
.08
.30+
-.05
-.16
.20
.02
-.25
-.23
.05
.05
Recalled
Warmth
-.20
-.15
.28*
.45**
Lack of
Empathy
-.16
-.10
.01
.17
.23
-.05
-.04
-.25
-.25
-.26
-.09
.19
-.26+
-.15
-.02
.07
Recalled
Rejection
-.25
-.25
-.03
.24
-.29+
-.13
-.17
-.07
.06
.07
-.26
.08
-.31*
-.25+
-.18
.10
Recalled
Strictness
-.17
.19
-.06
.18
.01
.21
-.11
.01
.34*
.38*
.13
.02
.30*
.14
.37*
.06
Interactive
Warmth:
2 yr
.17
-.11
-.10
-.12
.15
-.06
-.12
-.03
.02
.28+
.09
-.01
.01
.15
-.25+
-.38**
# mos.
Between
Births
TABLE 5.4
Correlates of Narrative Themes by Caregiving Pattern
-.26
-.37*
-.16
.12
-.35*
-.49**
-.25
.14
.30
.41*
.50**
.08
.23
.11
.04
-.22
Current
Partner
Involvement
-.05
.05
-.11
-.18
-.03
-.11
-.18
-.02
.23
-.01
.00
-.15
.33*
.18
.21
-.08
Sensitivity
6 yr
.04
.13
.13
.04
.33*
.14
.28+
-.16
.05
-.09
-.04
.39*
-.17
.02
.18
.22
Inconsistent
Discipline
5.
C H I L D R E N S E M PAT H I C R E P R E S E N TAT I O N S
123
lack of empathy reported prior to the childs birth was negatively correlated
with childrens verbal punishment themes and positively correlated with agonistic themes. Recalled strictness experienced with a mothers parents was
negatively correlated with prosocial themes. Mothers observed warmth and
skill in interaction with her child at age 2 was positively correlated with prosocial themes and verbal punishment themes, and prosocial themes were correlated with her sensitivity observed at child 6 years. Finally, the interval to
the birth of the next child was negatively correlated with childrens agonistic
themes.
For the group sharing care with grandmother, mothers teaching task
warmth and skill at age 2 were positively associated with their childrens
prosocial themes and representations of parental warmth. Greater involvement of mothers current partner was positively associated with childrens
themes of verbal punishment and parental warmth. Mothers self-reported
inconsistent discipline when the child was age 6 was positively associated
with childrens use of agonistic themes. In the group sharing care with a husband/boyfriend, the pattern of correlations did not Wt expectations. Greater
recalled warmth was positively correlated with agonistic themes. More
involvement of her current partner was negatively correlated with childrens
prosocial themes and representations of parental warmth. Inconsistent discipline reported at 6 years was positively correlated with prosocial themes.
Within the group using highly distributed care, only one correlation was signiWcant. Greater partner involvement was negatively correlated with childrens representations of parental warmth.
DISCUSSION
We had anticipated Wnding a stronger pattern of maternal correlates of childrens prosocial and agonistic narrative themes among the exclusive care
group compared to the other groups, especially the distributed care group,
because exclusive care maximized mothers contact with the child and exposure to the maternal attitudes and behaviors we assessed. We found some
support for this in the pattern of correlations in this group. Mothers selfreported lack of empathy at enrollment was correlated with aggressive
themes. Closer spacing of children also was related to the frequency with
which children introduced agonistic themes in their stories. Mothers recalled
124
RO B I N S O N A N D E LT Z
5.
C H I L D R E N S E M PAT H I C R E P R E S E N TAT I O N S
125
We did not hypothesize that children in one group would incorporate more
prosocial or less agonistic themes compared to another. We found that agonistic themes were more frequent among children raised by their mothers
and grandmothers compared to children whose care was exclusively by
mother. We found, however, that children who experienced highly distributed care in their Wrst 2 years tended to have more prosocial themes than
children whose care was shared with mothers husband/boyfriend. These
Wndings are not surprising, but we hesitate to interpret them with any conWdence. However, children whose care was shared by grandmother were the
most disadvantaged socioeconomically, and for this reason, this Wnding
might be expected. Children in the distributed care group were more prosocial in their narratives. It seems plausible that exposure to more models of
prosocial behavior from the diVerent caregivers in the distributed care group
may oVer these children advantages in their developing representations of
caring relationships.
126
RO B I N S O N A N D E LT Z
Women who exclusively cared for their child had many advantages compared
to those using other caregiving patterns. They were signiWcantly older, better
educated, and had more discretionary income at the time of study enrollment
than women who shared care with the childs grandmother. Women with
exclusive maternal care also had emotional advantages that might lead to
greater prosocialness in their children. They recalled greater warmth in their
relationship with their parents compared to women with highly distributed
care of their child, and they had fewer nonempathic attitudes for children
compared to all other groups. Women using exclusive maternal care had
longer intervals to the birth of their next child than did women sharing care
with their husband/boyfriend. However, women with exclusive care of their
child also lived in neighborhoods with a greater rate of poverty than all others at the time of enrollment. In general, excepting neighborhood poverty,
these diVerences suggest that women with exclusive care of their child had
more social advantages and had more attitudes/beliefs supportive of more
prosocial and less agonistic behaviors in their children, particularly in comparison with women sharing care with the childs grandmother. No speciWc
investigation was conducted regarding the direction of these eVects; consequently it is unclear whether the advantages seen in this group indicate that
having more resources makes a mother more likely to utilize exclusive care, as
opposed to other possible explanations, for example, they needed to develop
more resources because they didnt have any other social supports. Nonetheless, there does appear to be a relationship between maternal resources and
exclusivity of care, which may have risk implications for women who share
care with grandmothers or husbands/boyfriends.
In some respects, however, the exclusive maternal care group was quite
similar to the other care groups. It is important to note that while sharing
child care responsibility during the childs Wrst 2 years characterized three of
the four groups of women, on average women worked very little during that
time. Women in this sample did not experience signiWcant employment rates
until children were between 4 and 6 years of age. Exclusive-care mothers were
not signiWcantly warmer and more skilled at 2 years or more sensitive with
their children at age 6 years. Exclusive-care mothers were also not signiWcantly older or better educated than the group sharing care with their husband/boyfriend. These two groups also did not diVer in the recalled warmth,
strictness, or rejection in their relationship with their parents. However, these
5.
C H I L D R E N S E M PAT H I C R E P R E S E N TAT I O N S
127
mothers may have diVered in other characteristics that were not measured,
given the dramatic diVerences in how their attitudes, behaviors, and life circumstances were associated with their childrens development.
CONCLUSIONS
128
RO B I N S O N A N D E LT Z
Preparation of this chapter was suported by a grant to the Wrst author from
the National Science Foundation (0091430). Data collection for the study
was supported by a grant from the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation to
David L. Olds, PhD.
5.
C H I L D R E N S E M PAT H I C R E P R E S E N TAT I O N S
129
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PA R T I I
Adolescent Narratives:
Identity Development
and Its Contexts
6
Adoption Narratives:
The Construction of Adoptive
Identity During Adolescence
Nora Dunbar
Harold D. Grotevant
University of Minnesota
These quotes illustrate the challenge that adopted adolescents face in making
meaning of their beginnings, which may be unknown, unclear, or otherwise
ambiguous. Meaning-making involves building a story about oneself that
attempts to answer many questions: Where did I come from? Who were my
135
136
D U N B A R A N D G ROT EVA N T
6.
A D O P T I O N N A R R AT I V E S
137
138
D U N B A R A N D G ROT EVA N T
Narrative Consortium (Fiese et al., 1999) were used to assess coherence. The
Wrst, Internal Consistency, reXects the completeness and development of the
theory present in the narrative. The second, Flexibility, refers to the individuals ability to take the perspective of others and to explore new ideas and
alternatives. The narrative content of interest in this study includes the
degree of salience or importance of the adoptive identity to the adopted
adolescent, as well as the level of positive and negative aVect expressed about
the adolescents sense of self as an adoptee. In addition to these narrative
components, the exploration of adoptive identity was examined as the identity work accomplished and then presented through the process of narrative construction (Grotevant, 1993).
In this chapter, cluster analysis is used to derive a typology descriptive of
adoptive identity. ProWles of each of the four types are presented, along with
a detailed case study of each type. Variations in the types by age, gender, and
adoption openness are also discussed.
METHOD
Participants
6.
A D O P T I O N N A R R AT I V E S
139
Wnal Wave II sample included 177 adoptive families: 173 adoptive mothers,
162 adoptive fathers, 156 adopted adolescents, and 127 birth mothers. Wave
II information from 145 adoptive adolescents with complete data was used
for this study. Adopted adolescents were primarily Caucasian (92.6%) and
included 75 females and 70 males who ranged in age from 11 to 20 years
(M = 15.6). The adolescents were involved in conWdential (N = 38), mediated
(N = 36), and fully-disclosed (N = 71) adoptions.
Procedures
Adoptive families were interviewed in their homes in one session that lasted
4 to 6 hours. The session included individual interviews with each parent and
adopted adolescent, administration of several questionnaires, and a family
interaction task with both parents and the adopted adolescent. Responses of
each individual were not disclosed to other family members. Parents were
given the opportunity to review the interview protocol and questionnaire
booklet prior to our contact with the adolescent. Parents were permitted to
strike items if they wished; however, this rarely occurred.
The adolescent interview at Wave II covered the four identity domains of
occupation, friendship, religion, and adoption. The questions in the adoption section of the interview tapped adoption-related feelings, beliefs, and
knowledge. Most interviews lasted between 1 to 2 hours. Adolescent interviews were transcribed verbatim and coded using an analytic inductive
method.
Interview Coding
The Wrst pass of coding assessed the depth of adoptive identity exploration,
degree of positive and negative aVect regarding the adolescents adoptive identity, and extent of adoptive identity salience. Afterward, the adolescents interview was coded for two components of narrative coherence: internal consistency and Xexibility. Coding was individually completed by two to Wve
coders. Discrepancies were discussed and consensus achieved for each disagreement. The complete coding manual is available upon request.
Exploration. Exploration assessed how deeply an adolescent had explored his/her adoptive identity and was coded into four levels ranging from
no/minimal to great exploration of adoptive identity (interrater reliability,
M = 85.25%). A rating of 1 (no/minimal) indicated the adolescent showed
no or minimal evidence of thinking about adoptive identity or meaning of
140
D U N B A R A N D G ROT EVA N T
adoption to the self; 2 (low) indicated limited depth in thinking about adoption or adoptive identity with little serious, reXective thinking; 3 (moderate)
indicated some depth of exploration with some serious, reXective thinking;
and 4 (great) indicated considerable depth in exploration with serious, reXective thinking that showed greater self-awareness and integration.
Salience. Salience assessed the prominence, importance, and meaning
of the adolescents adoptive identity and was coded on a 5-point scale from no
to high salience (interrater reliability, M = 88.39%). A rating of 1 (no) indicated adoptive identity did not matter to the adolescent (e.g., it was not
thought about); a 2 (low) indicated a matter-of-factness about sense of self
as an adopted person (e.g., adolescent may say, Its not a big deal.); a 3
(moderate) indicated the adoptive identity exists and has meaning for the
adolescent, however the adoptive identity may be balanced with other identities; a 4 (moderately high) indicated the adoptive identity is very important
to the adolescent, but does not overwhelm the adolescents sense of self; and
a 5 (high) indicated the adoptive identity may consume great psychic and
emotional energy and may be the identity that is most prominent or a leading theme in the adolescents sense of self.
The rating of salience of adoptive identity was based primarily on the level
of importance and prominence of the identity; the degree to which the adoptive identity inXuenced behaviors, thoughts, decisions, and feelings; and the
adolescents ranking of the adoptive identity in relation to Wve other identity
domains. However, raters also considered the following in making a coding
decision: (a) degree of adoptive identity exploration, (b) level of positive and
negative aVect associated with adoptive identity, (c) the number of relationships in which the adolescent interacts about adoption related issues
(breadth) and the amount of thought and feeling that occurs in these interactions (depth), and (d) adolescents acknowledgment of diVerences between
adoptive and nonadoptive families.
Internal Consistency. Internal Consistency measured the completeness
of the content of the narrative on a 5-point scale, ranging from no to a welldocumented theory (interrater reliability, M = 85.26%). A rating of 1 (no theory) indicated that no theory could be identiWed in the narrative; 2 (unsupported theory) indicated very little elaboration of examples was present in the
narrative; 3 (theory with some support) indicated that personal details and
generalizations about ones own experiences were provided, but generally only
when prompted by the interviewer; 4 (theory in progress) indicated that
statements were consistently supported with evidence and suggested the pres-
6.
141
A D O P T I O N N A R R AT I V E S
RESULTS
Cluster analysis by cases (Hair & Black, 2000) was used to classify the adolescents according to the extent to which their narratives about adoption were
developed and demonstrated exploration, salience, and aVect. Age and gender were left outside the clusters rather than incorporated as an intrinsic
part of them because identity was thought to vary as a function of these characteristics. Age and gender are considered explicitly in the results and discussion that follow. The following variables were included in the cluster analyses:
Adoptive Identity Exploration, Salience of the adoptive identity, Internal
Consistency of the narrative, Narrative Flexibility, and Negative and Positive
142
D U N B A R A N D G ROT EVA N T
FIG. 6.1.
AVect. Further details about the development of the clusters may be found in
Dunbar (2003).
Description and Profile of Identity Types
As seen in Fig. 6.1, the cluster analysis provided convincing evidence of four
types of adoptive identity, Unexamined (n = 24), Limited (n = 46), Unsettled
(n = 30), and Integrated (n = 45). The four types of adoptive identity suggest
a progression of increasing exploration and narrative development. The statistical justiWcation for the types and the quantitative data validating the types
are presented in Dunbar (2003) and are not repeated here, since the focus of
this chapter is on the identity narratives.
The following cases were selected to be representative of the narratives in
each identity type. First cases were selected to represent the predominant age,
gender, and openness within each type. Then the identity variable scores for
these cases were evaluated for closeness to type means and modes. Finally, if
more than one possible case was identiWed, a narrative was chosen that contained themes similar to those found in other narratives within that type.
Trevor,1 who is almost 13, constructed a narrative characteristic of the Unexamined type. He had not thought much about
Unexamined Identity.
1 All
6.
A D O P T I O N N A R R AT I V E S
143
his adoption, and the ideas he did express had not been examined deeply. He
doesnt really remember being told about his mediated adoption, however he
thinks it Didnt really bug me then. Never really does anymore. He doesnt
have many feelings about his birth mother, whom he met once when he was
7 (she died shortly thereafter), I dont know, I didnt really get to know her,
so . . . I met her one time, and then she died, so. It was nothing there. He
hasnt given much thought to his feelings about his birth father, Ah . . . I
dont know just because I havent met him, but, I havent really paid any attention to it.
Conversations with his family about adoption are rare and when he tries
to talk with his friends he Wnds its too confusing, I just kind of tell them,
like, what happened and stuV like that, nothing, you know, its not, like, big
details and everything, its just they dont understand mostly . . . it just kind
of gets them confused whatever I say, so I just say, Dont talk to me about it.
Views on openness in adoption are only provided when probed by the interviewer, I dont really know, I havent really paid attention to anything like
that, at all. I just kind of want to meet my birthdad, basically thats really all.
He says having contact with his birth family doesnt really matter but also
expresses positive feelings about meeting his birth mother, Well, I thought it
was kind of nice to be able to meet her, because most people dont really get
to meet their adopted [sic; means birth] parents because some of them dont
even want to see them and others do. He declares adoption doesnt enter into
his life or decisions, I think most of the things that I do, just, its kind of,
like, No, it doesnt really matter, its not bad and its not good. However, the
strength of this view is compromised by his fairly unarticulated connections
between himself as an adopted person and his families of adoption and birth,
. . . just kind of connects, basically, because Im kind of getting to meet my
family and so, were going toyou know, just going to going to be able
were getting together in summer and stuV, and what he does at church,
They just, kind of have a party to get together so, they other adopted kids
get to meet the other ones . . . theres a Christmas party for them and stuV like
that. Its nothing, like, really big and not like major group, like, we do activities and stuV like that and its, you know, fun. The overall impression from
Trevors narrative is that adoption is a minor part of his life that he has not
spent much time or energy contemplating.
Many adolescents in this group had not thought about adoption issues
raised by the interview and often answered questions with I dont know, or
provided short statements as answers. As seen in Table 6.1, these adolescents
exhibited the lowest mean scores on all variables except Negative AVect. Most
of these narratives showed no depth in exploration of adoptive identity and
144
D U N B A R A N D G ROT EVA N T
TABLE 6.1
Means (M) and Standard Deviations (SD) of Identity Variables
by Adoptive Identity Type
Type
Variable
Exploration
Salience
Internal consistency
Flexibility
Positive aVect
Negative aVect
M
SD
M
SD
M
SD
M
SD
M
SD
M
SD
Unexamined
24
Limited
46
Unsettled
30
Integrated
45
1.17a
0.38
1.17a
0.38
2.46a
0.83
2.46a
0.78
1.38a
0.65
1.42a
0.78
2.15b
0.47
2.13b
0.54
3.09b
0.46
3.07b
0.68
2.67b
0.60
1.39a
0.58
2.83c
0.65
3.17c
0.65
3.60c
0.81
3.07b
0.74
2.87b
0.90
3.57b
0.82
3.47d
0.55
2.98c
0.62
4.36d
0.57
4.29c
0.63
3.69c
0.85
1.67a
0.74
h2
113.63
.50
.71
74.23
.61
53.33
.53
44.93
.49
49.49
.51
67.19
.59
Note. Pillais Trace = 1.50, p < .001. Reported F values refer to follow-up univariate
tests; all F tests signiWcant at p < .001; df = 3, 141. DiVerent superscripts in the same row
denote signiWcant diVerences between means, using planned comparisons with Bonferroni
adjustment.
revealed no salience of the adoptive identity for the adolescent (see Table 6.2
for details). The internal consistency of most narratives was very low, indicating loose theories with little support. Narrative Xexibility followed a similar
pattern, with most narratives revealing a low to moderate ability to perspective-take or explore new ideas. Little emotion was displayed in the majority of
the narratives. Adolescents with narratives in this type were more likely to be
male and more often in conWdential adoptions (see Table 6.3).
Several themes emerged from these narratives that provide insight into the
evident lack of exploration. Some adolescents disinterest in understanding
more about their adoption and what it means to them seemed tied to their
feelings of rejection by their birth parents (I guess if they sent me up for
adoption, they didnt want me then, I dont think they would want me now;
If they wanted me to live with them then they wouldnt have put me up for
adoption). Other adolescents reported a hesitancy to delve deeper into adoption issues because they were happy with the way their lives were currently
(Im happy just the way I am . . .) or because they were afraid that exploring
6.
145
A D O P T I O N N A R R AT I V E S
TABLE 6.2
Percentage of Cases for Identity Variables Within Adoptive Identity Types
Type
Variable
Exploration
No/minimal
Low
Moderate
Great
Salience
No/minimal
Low
Moderate
Moderate/high
High
Internal consistency
No theory
Unsupported
Some support
In progress
Well-documented
Flexibility
Low/rigid
Moderate/low
Moderate
Moderate/high
High
Positive aVect
No/minimal
Low
Moderate
Moderate/strong
Strong
Negative aVect
No/minimal
Low
Moderate
Moderate/strong
Strong
Unexamined
24
Limited
46
83.3%
16.7%
4.3%
76.1%
19.6%
83.3%
16.7%
8.7%
69.6%
21.7%
8.3%
50.0%
29.2%
12.5%
6.5%
78.3%
15.2%
8.3%
45.8%
37.5%
8.3%
19.6%
54.3%
26.1%
70.8%
20.8%
8.3%
2.2%
32.6%
60.9%
4.3%
75.0%
8.3%
16.7%
65.2%
30.4%
1.4%
Unsettled
30
Integrated
45
30.0%
56.7%
13.3%
2.2%
48.9%
48.9%
6.4%
66.7%
20.0%
3.3%
17.8%
68.9%
11.1%
2.2%
3.3%
50.0%
30.0%
16.7%
4.4%
55.6%
40.0%
3.3%
13.3%
56.7%
26.7%
6.7%
23.3%
50.0%
16.7%
3.3%
3.3%
53.3%
26.7%
16.7%
8.9%
53.3%
37.8%
2.2%
48.9%
26.7%
22.2%
46.7%
42.2%
8.9%
2.2%
146
D U N B A R A N D G ROT EVA N T
TABLE 6.3
Age, Gender, and Adoption Openness Within Adoptive Identity Type
Type
Variable
Age
Mean
Range
Gender2
Female (75)
Male (70)
Openness3
ConWdential (38)
Mediated (36)
Fully disclosed (71)
Unexamined
24
Limited
46
Unsettled
30
Integrated
45
14.87
12.7218.11
15.18
11.5120.84
15.21
11.1019.11
16.671
12.7520.56
33.3%
66.7%
47.8%
52.5%
60.0%
40.0%
57.8%
42.2%
41.7%
29.2%
29.2%
26.1%
32.6%
41.3%
13.3%
20.0%
66.7%
26.7%
17.8%
55.6 %
Note. 1Integrated adolescents were older than those in all other groups [F (3,144)
= 6.83, p < .001]. 2Gender was unequally distributed across types [c2(3, N = 145) =
5.59, p = .03]. 3In openness groups, identity types were unequally distributed within
fully disclosed adoptions [c2(3, N = 145) = 9.85, p = .02].
6.
A D O P T I O N N A R R AT I V E S
147
real mom. . . . It didnt really make any diVerence to me because I still love my
mom and dad because theyre the ones who raised me everything and, didnt
really make me feel any diVerent than how I already was.
He doesnt feel a strong need to talk about adoption and the conversations
that he does have with others are infrequent and unemotional; however, he
also recognizes that, I mean, you have to be like a strong person like, to be
able to like take all the questions that people ask you. He doesnt really talk
with his parents about it anymore, I think before, they, I just ask them questions about it, theyd answer me about that . . . we used to talk about it more,
like I didnt know as much about everything. When he talks with his friends
he just tries to explain adoption as well as he can, but hed rather just like to
have fun. His interactions with his birth mother are also low-key: I just talk
her sometimes on the phone or I write letters and, pretty much, I dont feel
like I really need to have to talk about it like, Im not happy with myself or
something.
His description of his meeting with his birth mother and family is matterof-fact: We just, they just came in and we talked for a while and then, my
little, half-brother really, really liked balls so, we like played baseball outside
with him and, thats what we did most the time and then we ate. He doesnt
feel a sense of urgency around needing to see his birth family again, Whenever we have time to would be nice, like were going to go down for a basketball tournament this year but, we couldnt go down for that. So, well probably make another time sometime, Im not sure when, though. For him the
meetings are enjoyable, although he Felt nervous before, during it was fun
because I got to know them and knew what they liked to do. After the meeting, I thought, I was like happy that I met them and I thought it was pretty
fun that we had done that.
He likes his birth mother and thinks of her as, just another friend that we
can have, that I can have and, Im not sure really. He doesnt really get bothered or worried by anything really, about them ever. He believes his birth
mother is Happy, like because I just get to see her and my mom and dad
write to her and tell her how I do and everything so. And I dont really know
like what she expects from me and I think shes just happy that I, we keep in
touch with her and I write letters and stuV. At this point, knowing his birth
mother does not have intense emotional meaning for him.
He feels positively about the connections he has with his birth mother and
her family, but would like to know more about his birth father, Id like to
know what my dad looks like, and where he is now. Pretty much, Id just be
able to, I know quite a bit about my mom and Id be able to Wnd out more
about her because I know where she is and, if I really want to get in touch
148
D U N B A R A N D G ROT EVA N T
with her, Id be able to. He enjoys exchanging gifts with his birth family, I
like it because I feel good that I can send or they send stuV to me and I can
send stuV to them, it makes me feel good I kind-of like, makes them, I dont
know, little kids happy too, and so, and feels lucky that he receives things
from them, I feel like, fortunate that they send stuV to me that they care
enough to send stuV.
He reveals some ways that he thinks adoption connects with his life, but he
has not thought deeply about these linkages. He has musical talent like his
birth grandfather, . . . he played musical instruments and I do too. So, my
mom and dad told me that . . . that I had talents like he did. . . . I just all of
a sudden like, was I like wanted to play the cello2 and stuV and I was pretty
good at it, for not practicing very much. Adoption does not aVect his future:
marriage any way or having children or adopting and Im pretty sure wed try
and have children Wrst, but like, and if we wouldnt Im sure Id try and adopt
some kid. He recognizes his life would be somewhat diVerent if he had not
been adopted, but he believes he would not be much diVerent, Well I know
Id be in a diVerent town. Id have a stepdad and two, a half-brother and a
half-sister. Well, I think Id be the same kind of person though, because my
mom is really nice and friendly and, I dont think it would be too much different from this.
His views about the meaning of adoption and family are tied to religion;
however, he has diYculty clearly articulating his beliefs, . . . my mom has
this thing that she says, like when Im asleep sometimes she like comes in my
room and like, says this thing like, its like, Youre Xesh in my Xesh, no bone
in my bone so miraculously of my own, Ill never forget for a single minute
you didnt grow under my heart but in it. But, I like, thats kind-of like spiritual and stuV and has something to do with it. Although the connections he
has made are not easily apparent in his narrative, the meaning for him helps
to explain extended family ties: With my extended family, like even though
Im not really blood-related to them I mean, it still feels good to know that
they love me even though, Im not really blood-related to them. And thats
like a positive feeling.
Although he has mentioned various ways being adopted is a unique experience (having birth family, not being blood-related) he also believes that
being adopted is just like not being adopted, I would say, I dont know, its
just like being like a real kid and, your parent, you still have like, you still have
the right over the kid and like, the parents have the say in everything and its
just like a normal, your own child.
2 Potentially
6.
A D O P T I O N N A R R AT I V E S
149
Most adolescents in this group were willing to think about and discuss
adoption, but did not recognize it as a huge issue in their lives. As seen in
Table 6.1, these adolescents exhibited scores in the mid-range on most variables. The narratives of most of these adolescents showed modest depth in the
exploration of adoptive identity and revealed little salience attached to the
adoptive identity (see Table 6.2 for details). In general, these narratives contained simple theories that had sparse supporting evidence and showed moderate Xexibility. Moderately intense expression of positive aVect, accompanied
by a range of no to low negative aVect was found in over half of the narratives.
Both boys and girls were equally represented in this type and participated
in a range of openness contexts (see Table 6.3). In conWdential adoptions contact was seen as potentially disruptive and some adolescents reported fear,
mostly when they were younger, about birth parents coming to reclaim them.
In mediated adoptions most adolescents planned to contact their birthmothers at age 18. In adoptions where contact had stopped, the thought of
reinitiating contact brought up feelings of awkwardness, I dont know what
Id say if I saw her. However, for those who wished to meet birth parents,
most desired only to see if there were physical similarities with birthparents;
very few wished to establish a relationship or meet birth parents to answer
deeper questions about the self. In fully disclosed adoptions, contact was seen
as normal, and the relationship with the birth mother was often close.
Adolescents in this group downplayed diVerences between adopted and
nonadopted families. Adoption was presented as being not any diVerent from
not being adopted (Theres no diVerence between whether I was their child,
their real child, or theirs like I am now. You know youre adopted, youre
adopted, you know. Its not any diVerent than if you were not adopted.). Perhaps consequently, few discussions about adoption took place within the
family. Most of these narratives presented adoption with an air of matter-offactness and with little emotional charge. Adoption was portrayed as accepted
fact that happened in the past and that hasnt had much impact on ones life
(I dont think too much about adoption. Its not a big issue in my life. I feel
its happened, you cant change that. Its just that it happened. Im glad it
happened instead of abortion, but, you know, besides that, it just happened.
Im Wne with it (adoption) and its just a thing of the past.). Most adolescents viewed adoption simply as a benevolent act that helps out a child by giving them a chance at a better life, and also by some as helping birth parents
to achieve their own goals in life such as Wnishing an education or eventually
obtaining a better job. Adolescents also acknowledged experiencing a Xuctuation in the frequency and intensity of thought about adoption over time
(Sometimes its important to me and sometimes it isnt). Many reported
150
D U N B A R A N D G ROT EVA N T
talking about adoption more in the past and felt that adoption was more
important to them when they were younger. Adolescents mainly positive
acceptance of their adoption and denial of diVerences due to adoption, combined with low levels of curiosity and little emotional involvement, seem to
have led to limited exploration about adoption.
Unsettled Identity. Kelsey, who is 16 and in a fully disclosed adoption,
tells a story that shows she is working out her adoption-related thoughts and
feelings. Throughout her narrative she mentions the emergence of uncomfortable or negative thoughts and feelings that she alternatively ponders for
extended periods of time or tries to push out of her consciousness. For example, when describing conversations with others she says, I dont like to talk
about adoption, I dont want to talk about it all the time. . . . If I talk to people its mostly about the adoption process. . . . Sometimes I open up and talk
to people, but it doesnt happen very often. I just think a lot, like, during the
conversation and afterwards and I just kind of, I dont know, I feel diVerent
because no one else has the experience I have. I always get this weird feeling.
And then I have to think forever about it. Im just better if I dont think about
it. I always just wonder, like, little things, like, details about, like . . . people
always know, like, what time they were born. Thats always bothered me that
I dont know that and just, like, I dont know.
She has strong positive and negative feelings about her relationship with
her birthparents that she has examined to varying degrees. At one point she
declares she knows as much as I want to know (about my birth parents).
However, she also describes her curiosity about her birthfather, although she
limits her thinking about him: I dont think about my birth dad very often.
My (birth) mom has made an eVort to try to talk to me, so she should get to
know more than he shouldhe shouldnt get to know anything. . . . I dont
know if hed like to know anything because he hasnt tried. I dont know if he
wants to know about me, or . . . I kind of just want to know where hes at or
what hes doing with his life, but I dont know if theres a way I can Wnd that
out so I dont really think about that. She enjoys exchanging pictures and letters with her birth mother: I like to have pictures, actually, because then I
can show my friends that this is who my mom is, this is who my little brother
and sister are (both laugh). And I like getting letters because I like to hear
what she has to say. The pictures are my favorite probably. But she continues
to speculate about unanswered questions: I always wonder, like, what she
was like when she was my age, what kind of things she did, if we looked alike
at all . . . shes always just the person Id wondered about, I dont ever know
about her.
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151
Kelsey feels uncomfortable when she has direct contact with her birth
mother but hasnt really examined why she feels this way: We talked and I
felt really uncomfortable. I dont know, she cried, and she was hugging me, it
was just weird. Youre excited, but and you want to see them, but then as soon
as you see them its . . . it changes all of a sudden. Like, I remember I was so
excited, but during it, not excited at all. (laughs) . . . back then I was just, like,
Oh, now Ive met my birthmom no big deal kind of thing, but I didnt
really think much afterwards . . . I just told my (adoptive) mom I didnt like
it and it was uncomfortable and I probably didnt want to do it again for
awhile, so shes waiting. She is angry that her birth mother didnt want to tell
her kids about Kelsey. I think the one thing that bothers me the most is the
fact that she wasnt going to tell her kids about me, until we kind of pushed
it. And I dont know why she should have to hide that from them . . . I mean
theyre young and theyll understand it and then theyll grow up knowing. I
think thats fair, more fair to them than just popping it up one day. Other
than that I respect her wishes. . . . Sometimes I question what she did, but
thats her choice. Although these feelings are diYcult for her, she continues
to feel positively about contact with her birth family in the future, Ive
always just wanted to get to spend time with my mom (birth) and my little
brother and sister and my grandma and I hope that Ill be able to do that
someday without feeling uncomfortable. She is (a part of my life). Not a huge
part because I dont see her very often and I dont really talk to her. Shes
deWnitely a part.
Kelsey believes adoption is tough. (Adoption is) a great learning opportunity, I mean, Ive learned a lot from it, but it also it has a bad times to it, its
not just perfect, you know, like, its a lot harder than just having your own
kids. She attributes the distance in her relationship with her adoptive mom
to adoption, My mom (adoptive) and I arent very close and I know thats
(adoption) the reason. I mean if, Im sure if I lived with my real mom wed be
a lot closer, wed talk about it and thats just hard because all my friends can
talk to their moms. And she believes her relationship with her parents would
be better and more open if she were their biological child. Due to these beliefs
she thinks those considering adoption should, know what theyre getting
into before they just go and adopt, I mean I think they should really think
about it and Im sure my parents probably did, but theres always going to
be struggles with adoption and people are just going to have to understand
that. However, she would hesitate to adopt, herself: I would probably never
adopt. Well, as much as I want to have kids, if I couldnt I dont, I dont know.
Just seeing what our family has gone through, I dont think I want to put my
family through that. . . . we always get in little Wghts about, you know, I want
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D U N B A R A N D G ROT EVA N T
to go with my mom, I dont want to live here, I hate you guys. You know,
when really we should be thankful for them adopting us, instead of being
nowhere. Its just not a perfect scenario.
A high degree of negative aVect was attached to the adoptive identity of
most adolescents in the Unsettled group. These adolescents were in the process of sorting out their feelings around their adoptions (Im still kind of trying to Wgure out that one (adoption), I have questions I know theres no
answers for.). As seen in Table 6.1, narratives of adolescents in this group
exhibited the highest scores on salience and negative aVect. Over half of the
adolescents produced narratives showing evidence of the existence of an
adoptive identity that mattered to the adolescent and more than one Wfth of
the remaining narratives displayed higher levels of salience in which the adoptive identity was more prominent or important than all other identities (see
Table 6.2 for details). A large range of intensity of aVect was present in the
narratives. Most narratives included moderate positive aVect. With one
exception, moderate or greater levels of negative aVect were expressed in the
narratives, and the expression of negative aVect usually either equaled the
expression of positive aVect (n = 10; 33.3%) or outweighed that of positive
aVect by one or two degrees (n = 14; 46.7%). However, in Wve narratives the
expression of positive in comparison to negative aVect was more prevalent by
one degree. Most narratives revealed some substantial thinking in the exploration of adoptive identity. In general, these narratives contained theories that
were either both simple and consistent with some support by limited evidence or in the process of development with emerging complexity. Similar to
the Limited type, most narratives showed moderate Xexibility. Adolescents
with narratives in this type were more likely to be female and participating in
fully disclosed adoptions (see Table 6.3).
Most adolescents expressed dissatisfaction about the frequency, consistency, and intensity of contact with birthparents. In general, adolescents in
conWdential adoptions were bothered by the lack of information about their
backgrounds and wanted to search, although they were ambivalent about
making contact. Adolescents in mediated and fully disclosed adoptions were
troubled by inconsistent contact with their birth mothers. Across all openness
levels adolescents expressed frustration with inadequate information about
birth fathers and resentment towards those who broke promises, were disinterested, absent, or lied. Adolescents expressed anger and sadness toward birth
parents due to feelings of rejection around the initial placement (She chose
not to be a part of my life, so I chose for her not to be a part of mine.) and
additional rejection when contact in mediated and fully disclosed adoptions
stopped (Im glad that she made the right choice with giving us up for adop-
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153
tion, but Im mad that she hasnt tried to get a hold of us, and then kept in
touch with the adoption agency. To see if we could meet her.). Adolescents
used phrases such as thrown out, gotten rid of, discarded, and trashed
kid to describe themselves.
Negative feelings were also expressed around interactions with peers, relationships within the adoptive family, and relationships between the adoptive
and birth families. Many adolescents confronted teasing from peers or dealt
with conversations where others didnt understand adoption. Almost half of
the adolescents mentioned that adoption created some degree of diVerence in
their families (Sometimes it makes me feel left out . . . like Im not part of
the family or anything, It will probably be harder for them because, they
might not feel like really attached because theyre not blood related.) Adolescents also mentioned problems in the adoptive family due to adoption,
such as feelings of distance among family members, especially between adoptive mothers and daughters, or conXict between the adolescent and adoptive
siblings or cousins. Across openness levels adolescents expressed concern
about the relationship between the adoptive and birth families, including
anxiety about hurting adoptive parents by initiating a search or becoming too
close to the birth mother, distress around hostility between the two sets of
parents (I need to keep them from being mad at each other and stuV ), or
feelings that the two families were very diVerent (I have two separate families, Its like two diVerent cultures.). In some instances the culmination of
multiple negative experiences around adoption resulted in adolescents who
had decided never to adopt in the future (Well, hopefully I wont have to
adopt because I know what its like for kids and the parents. Because, I mean,
I feel diVerent than them, and so I dont want my kids to feel diVerent than
me. . . . I dont want to have my kids be adopted, because then I guess I would
just feel less and less complete.). In summary, adolescents in the Unsettled
group were in the process of working through their feelings around their
adoption, principally in relation to their birth parents.
Integrated Identity. In her narrative, Jody clearly explained how important her adoption is to her. At 17, she has thought a great deal about her
conWdential adoption, especially in relation to her birth parents. She has
gained an understanding of herself by considering who she is in relation to
both her adoptive and birth parents. My birth father, was like a mechanic or
something. And I like, Im alwaysmy hands are always moving and Im
always wanting to Wx things and work with my hands which I dont know if
that has anything to do with it (both laugh) but I just think that is kind of
neat. And I know that, from the papers, I know that she (birth mother) has
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D U N B A R A N D G ROT EVA N T
like, I think it says she either has blue or grey eyes and I have blue eyes, so its
likeand my dad (birth) has grey eyes. So, I think that thats where I got my
eyes from and my hair color, too, because she has the same color hair as me
and that (pause) I think thatyeah, she was like Wve six and I think Im Wve
six now. . . . I am very thankful that I have, I think some of her characteristics, I dont know. And I think that I have a pretty good personality which,
you know, some people say you get your personality from people you are
around most like your parents that you grew up with, but Im nothing like
my nothing like my mom (adoptive), nothing at all. And its, I mean, I
guess, I agree with her on some things but Im more like my dad than her and
so I think that if anyone, I got most of my personality from probably, you
know, just through my blood or however you get it and from my dad that I
live with, also.
Jody has examined how adoption issues relate to her life in many ways.
She has considered how her life might have been diVerent if she hadnt been
adopted, Well if I was living with my birth mother still Im sure it would
be I would be a totally diVerent person because I would either see myself
as being a much stronger person for having to deal with the struggles that
Im sure there would be, you know, many of them or I could see myself as
being really weak for feeling let down by the life I was living if thats the way
it was and if thats the way it wasnt then, I dont know. At one time she felt
pressured to be active in the Methodist Church because she knows her birth
mother is Methodist and she felt the only way to relate to her was to go to
church. She wants to volunteer to talk with people who are adopted and
thinks that she gets the strength to do good from reXecting on what a
tough decision her birth mother made. She is determined to get a good job
in the future so she can feel good about herself when she meets her birth
mother.
Jody spends a great deal of time and emotional energy thinking about contacting her birth mother. When I talk to Joel (boyfriend) about it, I just I get
oV the phone with him whatever and I just, like, bawl my eyes out. Im just
like, Ahhhhhh! Do I look like her? Where is she, where is she? you know, and
its just because I want so badly just a picture or a letter or something. Could
be anything. You know, and Ivea lot of times Ive thought well maybe if
I go to the high school and look in the yearbooks in like 77 and look for
somebody who looks like me. I mean, just little daydreams like that that are
so dumb just get me so worked up. And I just, you know, talk to people about
it and then sometimes I feel better, like, Ok, just calm down. But sometimes
I feel like Ahhh! Whats going to happen in the next few years? you know,
because I dont know.
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155
She wonders if her birth mother remembers her. My dad (adoptive) and
I had a conversation once about if she thinks about me or if she just tried to
forget about me. He just told me, hes like, dont worry about that. NinetyWve percent of the people that weve talked with still have never forgotten
about their kids whether they be eighty years old or whether it just happened
a week ago. So, it makes me feel really good knowing that, you know, maybe
she isand especially right now being my birthday and everything. I wonder if shes thinking about me now because, like, she had me, you know, so.
Meeting her birth mother is Jodys lifetime dream. She repeatedly tries to
get more information about her adoption from her mother and reminds her
father that she will begin her search when she turns 18. Sometimes I talk to
her (adoptive mom) about, like, if she knows anything. I try and push things
out of her like, Are you sure you dont know anything more? And I get so
mad at her, Im like, Are you sure, are you sure? . . . And my dad and I, we
dont really talk about it that much but I told him, I said, You know, when I
turn eighteen, we are going down to the agency and Im looking in that Wle.
She attributes some of her motivation for searching to the distance she feels
with her adoptive mother. She wants to meet her birth mother, not to replace
her adoptive mother, but because she wants more of a mother Wgure. She
has strong feelings for her birth mother and feels connected to her, Even
though I dont know her personally, its like Im a part of her, a very big part
of her. And so, I like I love her in a way, you know, just for knowing that shes
there . . .
At the core of Jodys narrative are her conXicted and sad feelings about the
importance of biological connectedness and belonging. She doesnt feel bad
about being adopted but, she is always so envious of how my step sister and
brothers look exactly like my step-mom. . . . So, I mean, I dont feel bad about
it but I justI feel kind of lonely sometimes. These feelings are plainly in
her discussion about marriage and children, I think that for marriage and for
having children, I think that having my own kids is like the most important
thing that a marriage would bring to me because it would be like children
that Im starting a whole new background with, you know, if I never met my
birth mother. . . . Like, because I know that knowing my grandparents now
that I have I wished that they were my real grandparents because its like they
have such a great background. So thats what I would want to start is just a,
you know, a background for my kids, just somebody who I could call my
own. My own blood, my own everything, you know.
Jody concludes her narrative by expressing her urgency around contacting
her birth mother, All I can think of is is there is any way possible, like, ever
to have contact with like my birth fammy birth mother. That would just
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D U N B A R A N D G ROT EVA N T
be like. If I ever knew anybody who could help me with that then I want to
know who they are because thats like really important to me and I just want
somehow for, you know, because Ive been told that my birth mother might
have moved to the south somewhere to live with her parents or something, or
with his parents. So, they might not even be living in California anymore and
if theyre not then they might not have as easy access into my Wles.
Adolescents whose narratives showed an Integrated Identity had been able
to incorporate negative and positive aspects of their adoption into a serviceable identity for the present and an adaptive sense of self for the future. These
adolescents exhibited the highest scores on all variables except for salience and
negative aVect (see Table 6.1). With one exception, these narratives showed
moderate to great depth in the exploration of adoptive identity (see Table 6.2
details). Over three quarters of the adolescents produced narratives with
moderate or greater salience showing evidence of the existence of an adoptive
identity that mattered to the adolescent; the remainder of the narratives
showed lower salience in which the adoptive identity was portrayed with a
sense of matter-of-factness. In general, these narratives contained theories
that showed moderately high Xexibility and were either in the process of
development, with emerging complexity, or well documented, with detailed
and synthesizing explanations. All narratives showed at least a moderate
degree of positive or negative aVect, and were characterized by either balanced
levels of positive and negative aVect (n = 5; 11.1%) or greater positive than
negative aVect (n = 40; 88.9%). With one exception, moderate or greater
levels of positive aVect were expressed, and the expression of positive aVect
frequently outweighed that of negative aVect by two or more points (n = 29;
64.4%). Adolescents with narratives categorized as Integrated were signiWcantly older than adolescents in all other types and were more likely to be
female and participating in fully disclosed adoptions (see Table 6.3).
Many adolescents with narratives in this type recalled feeling special or
wanted when told about their adoption, and viewed their adoption as a
positive and happy thing (I kind of felt that it was a blessing . . . like I had
more family added to my family tree so I thought it was pretty cool, a secret
family that only I know about but I didnt know who they were, that loved
me.). These adolescents had imputed prosocial motives to their birth parents placement decisions, believing that their birth parents had placed them
with the childs best interest in mind, because they were too young to parent
and wanted a better life for the child. In addition, birthparents were described
with sympathy and compassion, and adolescents were willing to try to understand their actions (Probably one of the hardest things a person could ever
do is give up their child). Several narratives revealed the importance of God
6.
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A D O P T I O N N A R R AT I V E S
in understanding adoption (He chose this place, what I needed and was
going to need, He chose for me to be adopted, I think that was part of what
He wanted for me, I thank God for the family I have. I think He put me
here so I could grow up to be the person I want to be).
In general, relations with birth family members were depicted as safe,
understandable, and rewarding. In circumstances in which little information
was known about birth fathers, adolescents were likely to reserve judgment
rather than to assume a negative view. Across openness levels, adolescents
expressed motivation to further connections to birth family members. In
conWdential adoptions most adolescents expressed a desire to search for their
birth parents. Adolescents in mediated adoptions wanted increased contact
or openness. In fully disclosed adoptions, most adolescents either expressed
satisfaction with their relationships or wanted more contact currently or in
the future. Adolescents described establishing contact or initiating deeper
relationships with birth parents as opportunities for self-discovery (The part
that interests me the most about it, its just discovering why I am the way I
am, I want to see someone who looks like me because its the sense that yes
I belong in this family and stuV, but not really that I am connected to the
world, Finding a piece of the puzzle, thats what youre doing, Its neat
getting to know them because everything I learn about them, its something
more I learn about me).
Several narratives suggested that the adolescent had worked through challenging feelings about adoption at an earlier time. Some adolescents described how their feelings about being adopted changed as they matured (As
I grew older I realized it was the best thing for me at the time, When I was
little I worried I was placed because she didnt want me, now I know I was
placed because she cared enough, I felt diVerent, then I started to understand and I felt special). Other adolescents mentioned adoption was a more
important issue in the past (it consumed my childhood) and this was supported by reports that adolescents no longer discussed adoption with their
parents, in part because all their questions had been answered (I mean quite
frankly, everythings been said about that that can be said).
DISCUSSION
This chapter has probed the process of meaning-making for adolescents who
were adopted and has identiWed four patterns of adoptive identity based on
narrative criteria. Adolescents whose adoptive identities are Unexamined have
not very actively considered the meaning of adoption to them. They do not
158
D U N B A R A N D G ROT EVA N T
6.
A D O P T I O N N A R R AT I V E S
159
160
D U N B A R A N D G ROT EVA N T
process and implies that parents, teachers, and mental health professionals
need to understand and accept the diversity of ways in which adolescents construct their adoptive identities. Second, it suggests the importance of providing an information-rich environment for adolescents so that their sense of
adoptive identity is based on fact rather than fantasy or assumption. Third,
the insights generated by the narrative approach reinforce the usefulness of
tools such as life books in working with children and adolescents who are
actively exploring identity issues. Finally, these results suggest that resolution
of identity issues takes time and the willingness to engage the topic (Grotevant, 1987). Although adolescents with Unexplored identities tended to be
younger and those with Integrated identities tended to be older, there was
considerable variation across the sample.
In the next stage of our longitudinal work with these adolescents, we will
be able to examine continuities and discontinuities in adoptive identity development. Which of the four groups was most likely to show change from adolescence to young adulthood? What happened to the adolescents with negative, unsettled identities when we Wrst interviewed them? Were they able to
step back from their pain and anger and develop integrated identities with a
diVerent balance of positive to negative aVect? Or did their negativity harden
over time? How stable were integrated identities? Under what circumstances
did adolescents with integrated identities during adolescence reconsider their
views and move into a phase of unsettledness or negativity? We will be able to
answer these and related questions when we embark on the next phase of our
research, which follows up these participants in young adulthood.
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7
Adolescents Representations
of Parents Voices in Family Stories:
Value Lessons, Personal Adjustment,
and Identity Development
Mary Louise Arnold
University of Toronto
Michael W. Pratt
Cheryl Hicks
Wilfrid Laurier University
I remember when I was little once, I was making fun of this little girl.
She was, like, weird looking. I was just, like, Oh, my God, shes so
weird. And my mom was, like, Dont do that. You should, like, everybodys the same on the inside. They just may look diVerent. My mom
was just saying, like, you shouldnt make fun of people because theyre
diVerent, that theyre just like us. I was just like a little geek. Like, I was
making fun of somebody. . . . I was a mean little kid. . . . She said it,
like, she didnt say it yelling at me and stuV. She just said it so that I
understood that she was being serious. Because I dont think she likes it
when people make fun of other people. . . . She just doesnt like seeing
that. . . . I just really, I didnt really think about it when I was little. I
just really didnt think about it.
Kevin, age 14
164
A R N O L D , P R AT T, H I C K S
7.
A D O L E S C E N TS R E P R E S E N TAT I O N S O F PA R E N TS VO I C E S
165
As illustrated in the introductory excerpt from our data, adolescents narratives provide colorful snapshots of family life in this instance, providing a
glimpse of the way a mother taught her young son (now a reformed little
geek) the importance of fairness to others (or not making fun of weird looking little girls). Our research on the use of such stories to better understand
the family dynamics of value socialization is just one example of a growing
interest in the role of narrative within psychology. Described by Bruner
(1986) as a distinctive mode of thought, a way of representing the social
world and ones personal position and experiences within it, narrative is now
widely acknowledged as a viable and constructive means of understanding
and documenting human development (e.g., Day & Tappan, 1996; Fiese et
al., 1999; Hermans, 1996; McAdams, 2001). Narrative techniques are being
used to study an ever-widening range of developmental issues across various
contexts, as is well illustrated in this volume (e.g., Pratt & Fiese, this volume).
Within the Weld of moral development, more particularly, a number of
psychologists have recently turned to narrative techniques in an eVort to
more eVectively account for the contextual particularities of moral experience
believed to be neglected in the traditional paradigm of Piaget (1965) and
Kohlberg (1984). In their work on moral commitment, for example, Colby
and Damon (1992) provide an important example of the use of life histories
as a way of describing the integration of the self and morality in exemplary
social activists. Similarly, Tappan and his colleagues (Day & Tappan, 1996;
Tappan, 1991; Tappan & Brown, 1989) have described the development of
the moral self as reXected in the construction of a sense of personal authorship of moral stances and experiences through narrative analysis. More generally, narratives in the form of fables and epics have been used throughout
history to provide rich and meaningful accounts of moral character and to
inspire virtue in others (e.g., Coles, 1989; Vitz, 1990).
Our own perspective on the study of value socialization has been inXuenced by a number of contemporary psychologists whose work provides
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Most audible among the developing childs inner voices undoubtedly will
be those of parents, who typically play a dominant role in his or her personal
belief and value development. Conceivably, the expression of parental voices
in a childs thinking could take various forms, depending on developmental
and family contexts. For instance, and perhaps most often, the parents voice
is likely to be concretely historical in nature, to be representative of past
advice or admonitions to the child (Day & Tappan, 1996; Ely & McCabe,
1993). An adolescent might recall an occasion when the parent has provided
direction or guidance in the past, which is then echoed in his or her inner dialogues about a current situation. However, we would certainly expect that
parental voice might become anticipatory as well. In facing a novel problem,
an adolescent might imagine how a parent would likely respond to his or her
choice of action, thus reXecting this voice of endorsement or disapproval in
inner thought (e.g., Pratt & Norris, 1999). In turn, then, we would expect
these inner voices to be representedor ventriloquated (Bakhtin, 1981)
in the overt narratives that adolescents tell about their value learning experiences. Recall, for example, the representation of a parental perspective in the
mind of the adolescent cited at the outset of the chapter: I dont think [my
mother] likes it when people make fun of other people. . . . She just doesnt
like seeing that. For this adolescent, a mothers voice is clearly audible as he
shares with us his current thinking about the importance of being respectful
of others.
As this excerpt suggests, the adolescents sense of a parentally mediated
ideal, and the parental perspective that emanates from it, have a strong
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impact on the beliefs and values that characterize his or her emerging identity.
Thus, we would expect the quality of parent-child relations and family life
to inevitably aVect a childs receptivity or responsiveness to such parental
inXuence, and longer-term psychosocial adaptation and adjustment as well.
Darling and Steinberg (1993), for example, have suggested that an openness
to parental perspectives should be associated positively with the emotional
climate of the family, speciWcally with the degree to which the family is experienced by the child as authoritative in nature. Authoritative parenting is a
broad style of parental interaction that is characterized by the provision of
both guidance and structure, as well as warmth and responsiveness to the
childs individuality (Baumrind, 1991; Maccoby & Martin, 1983). In adolescence, such family authoritativeness is associated with more opportunities for
parent-child give and take, and with a greater reciprocity between parent and
child (Grotevant, 1998; Steinberg, 2001).
Considerable research has shown that authoritative parenting, as deWned
earlier, is predictive of better adolescent adaptation and adjustment (e.g.,
Steinberg, 2001; Steinberg, Lamborn, Darling, Mounts, & Dornbusch,
1994). This is presumably because such parenting provides for greater adolescent responsiveness to the parent, and the gradual growth of feelings of
mutuality within the relationship (Grotevant, 1998; Maccoby, 1992; Youniss
& Smollar, 1985; Wintre & YaVe, 2000), which in turn encourage a guided
sense of autonomy and mature decision-making on the part of the adolescent
(Grotevant & Cooper, 1998; Hauser, Powers, & Noam, 1991), key adaptive
tasks during this period of development in the life course (e.g., Erikson, 1963).
The central goal of our narrative research program has been to investigate the
processes by which adolescent value socialization occurs within the family
that is, how the developing adolescent constructs a personal belief and value
system through parental inXuence. Drawing directly from both narrative
(e.g., Hermans, 1996) and sociocultural (e.g., Wertsch, 1991) theory, we use
the term voice to depict the adolescents representation of the views of inXuential othersin this instance, parentsas reXected in their stories about
important value learning experiences within the family.
Although there would likely be several possible dimensions on which the
childs representation of parental voice might vary, to date our work has
focused on two of these in particularthe clarity of the adolescents perspec-
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169
tive on this voice and the extent to which he or she is responsive to the voice
in his or her narrative representations of it. These dimensions, however, are
naturally somewhat confounded with each other. Whereas the parents voice
may be clearly audible in an adolescents story, but not necessarily listened to
or respected, it is highly improbable that parental voice could be uncertain or
vague, but strongly responded to by the adolescent.
An adolescents representation of the parent voice, it seemed to us, might
range from absent to minimal, on the one hand, up to the most sophisticated
level of reconstruction and appropriation for the self (e.g., RogoV, 1990)
on the other. At these most advanced levels, our derivation of the voice construct has been informed by the distinction Bakhtin has made between two
types of dialogical discourse, which we believe may be generally representative
of two developmental steps in the internalization process (e.g., Tappan,
1991). The Wrst is a form of externalized discourse in which the childs speech
reXects an unconditional allegiance to a voice of authority. This is characterized by a more detached recitation or parroting of parent beliefs that have
yet to be internalized and appropriated as ones own. In the second type, the
child engages in what Bakhtin has called internally persuasive dialogue.
Here, the voice of others is not only audible in the childs speech, but it has
also been assimilated and reconstructed by the child himself or herself, as
appears to be the case for the adolescent cited at the outset of the chapter (i.e.,
the reformed little geek). In such instances, the child may be said to be
claiming authority and responsibility . . . and authorizing [his or her] own
moral perspective (Tappan, 1991, p. 17).
To capture and depict these variations in adolescents responsiveness to
parental inXuence in a systematic way (and to enable us to relate these representations to standard quantitative measures of personal and family characteristics), we have developed a technique to assess parent voice as reXected
in adolescents narratives of important value learning experiences (Mackey,
Arnold, & Pratt, 2001; Pratt, Arnold, & Mackey, 2001). We categorize the
adolescents appropriation of parent voice on an ordered, 5-point scale (see
Table 7.1). Each level reXects the adolescents responsiveness to parental
beliefs and values and their integration into his or her own self-regulative
belief system. As described earlier, the central components of our measure
include the clarity of the adolescents representation of the parent voice and
the extent to which this inXuence has been appropriated and reconstructed in
his or her own thought. Possible indicators of parent voice include literal evidence of parents speech within the adolescents thought (e.g., My dad
says . . .), statements corroborating or contradicting parents views (My parents are on the wrong track when . . .), and emotional or aVective overtones
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TABLE 7.1
Levels of Parent Voice
1. Parent voice is absent or is summarily dismissed by the child.
2. Parent voice is only minimally present and/or may be passively complied with or questioned by the child.
3. Parent voice is clearly present, but it is recited or parroted rather than being truly
internalized by the child.
4. Parent voice is clear and accepted by the child, but it is not convincingly owned or
internally persuasive to the child.
5. Parent voice is clear, authored in the childs own terms, and respected by the child, though
he/she may diVer from it.
In our interpretation, this adolescent badly needed and wanted her parents
support, and the absence of it has left her with a sense of betrayal, making her
experience all the more diYcult to overcome.
In contrast, at Level 3the mid-point on our scale the parents voice is
clearly audible in the adolescents narrative, but it is recited by the adolescent as opposed to being truly owned and internalized. Typically, the childs
responsiveness to parental inXuence takes the form of behavioral compliance,
rather than a clear formulation of their beliefs and acceptance of (or at least
respect for) them. For instance, one adolescent told us of a time when his par-
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171
Finally, at Level 5, the highest level on our scale, there is clear evidence that
the parental voice is not only audible in the adolescents story, but it has also
been appropriated and authorized or reconstructed by the adolescent in his
or her own terms, in keeping with Bakhtins (1981) notion of internally persuasive dialogue. One of the stories that conveys this most clearly (and that
we enjoy most) comes from a 14-year-old adolescent who told about his earlier eVorts to become accepted by a peer group, indicating he had since come
to value his independence through the guidance of his parents:
Ok, there was a big group of people who were like in my class, and they
called themselves the good people, like they were all supposed to be cool and
everything. And I wasnt in that group and I wanted to be, so I did all sorts
of like little things for them. I like practically became their slave. And this
came to my parents notice, and they told me not to bother with those people, to like start my own group and stuV like that. At Wrst I didnt listen,
because I thought they didnt know what they were talking about. But after a
while I began to see that these guys were just using me, and from then on Ive
never cared what other people think about me I just do what I think is
right. . . . My parents told me I should think for myself; I shouldnt follow
what other people do, and kiss these people on their butts because I want to
join the group. . . . I should do what I think is good, no matter what anyone
else thinks.
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Over the course of the past several years, we have been engaged in research on
the topic of parent voice. Our work has now involved several studies, most
particularly a longitudinal study of adolescent value socialization with a sample of 40 Canadian families, including the mother, father, and adolescent
child (Pratt, Arnold, Pratt, & Diessner, 1999). The families are all intact, primarily Caucasian, working- to middle-class, and they represent a range of
educational backgrounds and religious ideologies. We have now visited with
family members in their homes on three occasions: initially, when the adolescents were age 1216 (mean age of 14), again at age 1418 (mean age 16),
and most recently when they were 1822 years of age (mean age 20).
On each occasion, we have asked family members to tell us stories about
various value lessons within the context of their daily life and to complete
standard questionnaire and interview measures, including indices of parentchild relations and adolescent psychosocial development. Our narrative measures have comprised a range of elicitations across a variety of contexts. One
set of stories, for example, has been elicited by asking adolescents (and parents, as well) to tell us about times when their parents have tried to teach
them important, self-identiWed values, such as honesty and kindness
(e.g., Pratt & Arnold, 1995; Pratt, Arnold, & Hilbers, 1998; Pratt, Norris,
van de Hoef, & Arnold, 2001). In other work, we have asked adolescents
(and young adults) to describe a time when their parents helped with their
decision making by oVering advice about an important personal issue (e.g.,
Mackey et al., 2001). Conversely, on another occasion we have asked adolescents to tell us about times when they experienced problems or disagreements
with their parents. In several studies we have asked participants to relate stories about a critical incident in their lives, an event or experience that has
had a strong impact or inXuence on their development (e.g., Pratt, Arnold, &
Mackey, 2001). And, Wnally, in our most recent work, we have also asked our
participantsnow young adultsto tell us stories about times when they
have felt particularly good or proud of themselves.
In all instances, our analyses of parent voice in the adolescents narratives
have provided support for the validity of the voice construct as an indicator
of adolescent responsiveness to parent inXuence. Most signiWcantly, we have
been struck by the extent to which parental views or voices could be
heard within the adolescents stories, sometimes as guiding frameworks, and
sometimes sounding like foils for the adolescents own, emerging voices.
Despite diVerences among story contexts, we have found that the parental
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173
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A R N O L D , P R AT T, H I C K S
As discussed earlier, in our derivation of the parent voice construct it has been
our assumption that adolescents who represent parental beliefs and values
at more sophisticated levels of appropriation will be reXective of families
who enjoy positive parent-child relations and a family climate conducive to
healthy development. In our more recent work, therefore, we have examined
the legitimacy of this assumption. Accordingly, our analyses have included a
range of more established indices of parenting styles and of family climate, as
reported by the adolescents themselves. These have included their perceptions of family authoritativeness, cohesion, and autonomy encouragement,
which we assessed concurrently with parent voice in mid-adolescence (i.e.,
age 16). In early adulthood (i.e., age 20), we obtained adolescents assessment
of parent-child attachment, as well as reassessing their perceptions of parent
authoritativeness.
Adolescents perceptions of family authoritativeness were assessed on a
measure adapted from Dornbusch, Ritter, Leiderman, Roberts, and Fraleigh
(1987), and also included a scale of parent discussion and inXuence ratings
across four topics: schools, peers, family issues, and activities/hobbies. In the
latter case, each topic was rated on 5-point Likert-type scales for frequency of
discussion and for level of parent inXuence (see Pratt, Danso, Arnold, Norris,
& Filyer, 2001, for further description).
Adolescents perceptions of parental autonomy encouragement were assessed by asking them to describe problems they had experienced with each
of their parents, to explain both their own and their parents views regarding these issues, and their perception of how they had been (or were being)
resolved. On the basis of a reading of these responses, autonomy encouragement was rated on a 3-point scale, ranging from 1 (parent actively interferes
with the childs autonomy), through 2 (mixed pattern of interference/
encouragement or no autonomy issues discussed), to 3 (parent actively supports childs autonomy and/or decision-making). Scores were summed
across the two problems to obtain an overall score (see Pratt, Danso, et
al., 2001).
In addition, the mid-adolescents perceptions of family cohesion and emotional closeness were assessed using the index of General Family Functioning
(Morris, 1990), a standard 15-item scale. Finally, when our participants were
in early adulthood (i.e., mean age 20) we also assessed their perceptions of
parent attachment (for both mother and father), using the Index of Parent
and Peer Attachment scale (Greenberg, Siegel, & Leitch, 1983). This is a
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A R N O L D , P R AT T, H I C K S
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177
tion in an observational study such as the present one. Even though these are
only correlational patterns over time, however, they do begin to speak to the
potential power of a narrative methodology in the study of family life and
adaptation during this period of adolescent development (e.g., Cowan, 1999).
The potential implications of this pattern of relations between adolescents
responsiveness to parental inXuence and longer-term psychosocial adjustment were reXected in a number of family stories told by our research participants. For example, having identiWed with the personal value independent, Emily recounted the following story of a signiWcant turning point in her
early adolescence, when she struggled to overcome a debilitating shyness and
became a whole new person with the support and encouragement of her
mother:
When I moved to Grade 8, like, that was one of the most important times in
my life so far. I was very shy . . . and I had people tease me because I was so shy.
I was feeling really, really bad about myself. I felt very depressed and there were
times when I just wanted to stay home, and I spent whole days not talking to
anybody. . . . When I look back, its like Im a whole new person. I have a lot of
friends. Um, I actually laugh. I didnt laugh at all beforethats how big a
change its been . . . like it was a whole new beginning. I thought about what I
wanted to be like, and it was just like a dream come true sort of thing, because
I was worried that the rest of my life would probably be a write-oV because I
wouldnt be happy. Its very hard to change. . . . In Grade 7 I realized that I was
too far along to be able to change. . . . [But] I wanted to make myself, make it
better. It took a while to Wgure out what it was, except my mom, my mom and
I talked it through, and we just Wgured out together what it was gonna be, what
I wanted it to be. . . . I wasnt quite sure, um, what I wanted to be like, and how
to go about doing that. . . . She agreed with changing completely. . . . We both
talked together and decided what I wanted to be like. . . . I got involved in a lot
more things, and I got diVerent sorts of clothes than I was wearing before, and
I made a big eVort to talk to people a lot more, and so I made a lot of friends.
I made a few really good friends which I still have. . . . [It was] to do with what
I believe and what I wanted people to think of me, and how, how I wanted to
be for the rest of my life, that sort of thing.
Of course, not all the narratives of our participants lives with parents have
been as positive. JeV, for instance, recounted quite discouraging stories of
his strained relationships with both of his parents, as he struggled in midadolescence with issues of identity and independence. Having previously told
us of communication problems with his mother frequent little tiVs that
left him frustrated inside and wondering whats going through her head
here, he narrates a problem situation he experienced with his father.
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A R N O L D , P R AT T, H I C K S
Okay, Im gonna tell you about my dad. This is how it goes. . . . My father
would come in and he would of course take my mothers side, in other words,
team up on me. He wouldnt really listen to all the facts before he jumped in.
You know what I mean? We went on a trip . . . and we were driving home, and
I wanted to sit in the front. . . . Like, I drove about 12 hours or so, and then
from there I sat in the back. We slept at a hotel, and then the next day my dad
drove, and then the next day my mother drove, and then the next day my dad
drove, and they were both sitting in the front seat. And we were getting on [a
major highway] when we had that big, bad winter storm kind of deal, and I
just wanted to sit in the front, because I hadnt been, you know. . . . So, I asked
my dad if I could sit in the front, and he said, Wne. So my mom had gone to
get coVee, and when she came back . . . shes like, Why are you sitting in the
front? You know I have a bad back. And I said, Well, everythings comfortable. If you want to lie down, weve got blankets and stuV like that. Ive been
back there for two days, and Id just like to sit up at the front for a while. And
then she started arguing, Blah, blah, blah. One thing led to another, and she
asked my dad, and she goes, Do I have to put up with this? And then my dad
says, No. So I go in the back.
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A R N O L D , P R AT T, H I C K S
Indeed, Sandra showed she has learned this parental lesson well in a later
narrative she recounted of a critical incident in her life, an experience that
epitomizes McAdamss (1990) notion of a nuclear episode in an adolescents
emerging life story:
You know in school theres always the cool group and then like the not so cool,
well, the losers or whatever, the rejects. . . . I was always part of the little cool
crowd. And then all of a sudden . . . there came this girl named S into my
class. And she was Indian . . . and she was made fun of so much and she was
put down about everything. . . . I believe it was a real racial issue. . . . I felt so
badly for her because she did not stand up for her rights at all . . . she would
smile or brush it oV as if everything was okay. But I knew that it wasnt okay.
. . . She was such a nice person, so kind and sweet and gentle, and there was
nothing wrong with her, she was just so frail . . . I looked at the situation and I
said, Look, if she couldnt stand up for herself, she needs someone else to stand
up for her, because what is happening here is not right, and this isnt good. So
I started becoming her friend, and all the members of the cool group, they
totally ditched me, and they just turned their backs on me and they became so
cool and inhumane, you wouldnt believe. . . . It really hurt a lot, because all I
wanted was for everyone to be friends. . . . I remember one speciWc time . . . I
was just shocked . . . I was like, Okay, this has gone way too far . . . and something inside of me just burned and stinged (sic) and I just couldnt control it.
. . . [T]his has been going on for three years now, and you know puberty just
kicking in, and I just stood up and I just like burst out and I just started yelling.
. . . I dont even remember what I said, but I remember after that I just felt so
good, and all the cool girls . . . just stood around us in a circle, and it was totally
silent. It was such a moment . . . really weird. It was a day Ill never forget. . . .
Why are people so cruel? I mean, we were only little girls.
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CONCLUSIONS
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A R N O L D , P R AT T, H I C K S
how variations in the quality of such family narratives can contribute to the
prediction of adolescent outcomes in development. This is an important
aspect of criterion validity that narrative family research is just beginning to
address (e.g., Cowan, 1999; Fiese et al., 1999). We believe our results point
to ways that such narrative analyses can be integrated with more traditional
quantitative research in the study of child and family development (Pratt,
Arnold, & Mackey, 2001).
If these points are indeed reasonable ones, then the clinical implications of
this work are worth pursuing as well. People in their descriptions of family life
and experiences in therapeutic contexts inevitably provide a wealth of narratives such as the ones we have describedin fact, this is just what people
always do in all kinds of talk about their personal lives (Polkinghorne, 1996).
Clinicians also inevitably listen with an ear attuned to the voices of parents
in the stories of their patients, as they seek to understand process and relationships in the individuals past and current development. Research such as
this may provide some insights into how best to frame the meaning of diVerences across patterns of varied parent-adolescent relationships. More ambitiously, based on data such as ours, one might argue that helping individuals
and families to reframe problematic stories about their family lives could
indeed prove therapeutic. Such ideas surely deserve careful study using tools
like the present ones to test such claims (Cowan, 1999).
Finally, our application of a narrative framework to the study of adolescent
value socialization has been consistent with McAdams (1990, 2001) construal of narrative as a medium for personal identity development. By all
accounts, our participants genuinely engaged in the experience of storytelling, often leaving us with the impression that the opportunity itself was
personally fulWlling, and perhaps even educational, for them as well. Over the
course of their adolescent years, they willingly and enthusiastically shared
their perspectives and experiences with us, and we have heard the emergence
of their own voices while they grappled with the challenges of constructing a
personal belief system. Thus, through their narrative accounts of personal
struggle and triumph, they have presented colorful portraits of adolescent
lives in the making, as they prepare to embark on their larger life stories.
ACKNOWLEDGMENT
The research reported in this chapter was supported by grants from the Social
Sciences and Humanities Research Council of Canada to authors Pratt and
Arnold, and Joan Norris.
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8
When Parents Stories Go to Pot:
Telling Personal Transgressions
to Teenage Kids
Avril Thorne
Kate McLean
Anna Dasbach
University of California, Santa Cruz
Tell me a story about when you were young is a familiar refrain to parents,
and also is beginning to be heard by family narrative researchers. Parents in
many cultures tell family stories in an eVort to guide their childrens conduct
and convey important values (Fiese, Hooker, Kotary, Schwagler, & Rimmer,
1995). Personal stories lie at the heart of opportunity education (Fung,
1999), emerging at moments when the parents own past experience seems to
connect with the concerns of the child. Parents tend to believe that the stories
they tell their children about their past lives can inXuence their childrens
behavior and values, and communities diVer with regard to the kinds of
parental stories that are told and not told to children (Miller, Sandel, Liang,
& Fung, 2001; Miller, Wiley, Fung, & Liang, 1997).
The present study builds on past studies of an important domain of parental storytelling, stories of personal transgressions. Peggy Miller and her colleagues have contributed much of the foundational ethnographic work on
how and why parents tell stories of their own transgressions to their children.
Miller et al. (2001) found that White middle-class American mothers felt
that telling their personal transgressions to their children created closeness by
placing the parent at a more equal level with the child. This self-lowering
parental strategy has also been identiWed in other studies of narrative socialization practices in White middle-class America (e.g., Ochs & SchieVelin,
1984). In contrast to Chinese mothers, who felt that exposing parental misdeeds would grant permission for transgressive behavior, American mothers
emphasized a distinction between the behavior and the person. In narrating
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their own transgressions, American mothers espoused the view that bad acts
do not make a bad person, that bad behavior can be redeemed, and that
people are complex, protean, and Xawed (Miller et al., 2001, p. 178).
The present study explored a speciWc kind of parental transgression: smoking marijuana in ones teenage years. Although the dilemma of how to talk to
ones teenagers about ones own experiences with marijuana is very speciWc, it
is also a fairly common predicament within the community that we studied
and in the United States overall. An estimated two thirds of the parents of
todays teenagers experimented with marijuana at some point in their youth
(Johnston, OMalley, & Bachman, 1986). Nevertheless, there appear to have
been no systematic studies of whether and how parents disclose these youthful experiences to their children. Prior research has focused on relatively innocent parental misdeeds as told to young children. Because marijuana use is
illegal and emerges later in adolescence, we turned to the larger family narrative literature to anticipate potential age-developmental changes with regard
to transgressive experiences, and the role of marijuana in the development of
American adolescents. In this chapter, we tell the story of the beliefs and practices that emerged.
Adolescents, by virtue of having lived longer than young children and having
broader social networks, are likely to be exposed to a varied array of transgressions on the part their families, their peers and the families of their peers.
Because transgressive acts breech community norms and tend to require narrative justiWcation (Bruner, 1990), adolescents can also be expected to hear a
larger variety of beliefs and values with regard to transgressive behavior.
Teenagers are also cognitively more sophisticated than children, and more interested in comparing one value with another in pursuit of an ideology to live
by (Goodnow, 1992; Habermas & Bluck, 2000; McAdams, 1993). In White,
middle-class America, adolescence is not only an era for exploring alternative
practices and values, but also for developing a more egalitarian relationship
with parents (e.g., Collins, 1997; Grotevant & Cooper, 1985). This greater
mutuality includes more open disclosures on the part of parents than would
occur with younger children, such as revealing the true reason that the children were sent away to live with relatives, or the mothers mastectomy scars
(McLean & Thorne, 2003). However, parents may be less willing to disclose
parts of their past which, if emulated, could put the teenager at risk.
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189
Although children eventually reach an age in which their own transgressions can potentially match those of the parent, parent and teen values about
transgressive conduct may be slower to coincide. Part of the divergence concerns diVerences in time perspective, with adolescents more likely to live in
the present (Burton, Sussman, Hansen, Johnson, & Flay, 1989). Collins and
Repinski (1994) suggested that adolescence is a period in which parents and
children may be especially likely to misunderstand each other because the
adolescent is changing more rapidly than the parent. Disparity between teens
and parents views of the child has been found to be highest in early adolescence; by late adolescence, there is likely to be more convergence between
parents and teens views (Alessandri & Wozniak, 1989).
In considering how and why parents tell transgressive stories to their
teens, it is important to consider that for the parent, adolescence is a bygone
era, whereas for the teen, adulthood is unknown. Parents know the consequences of their own teenage misdeeds, whereas teens and parents can only
guess about the eventual consequences of transgressive conduct on the part
of the teen. To encourage responsibility in their adolescent children, should
parents refrain from disclosing their own transgressions, or if they do,
should they emphasize the negative consequences and forgo the parts of the
story that suggest there was anything positive about the experience? Although the Miller et al. (2001) study understandably focused on relatively
innocent misconduct, the mothers of the preschoolers described themselves
as wary of a too-ardent adherence to the letter of the law, and felt that
there was much to be learned by experimenting; there was a value in
transgressive selves (Miller et al., 2001, p. 181). Some parents may be willing to tolerate at least some of their teenagers illicit misdeeds. Under-age
drinking, for example, may be allowed in the home under parents supervision. But what about behaviors that do not become legal, for which one
does not legally come of age?
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T H O R N E , M c L E A N , D A S B AC H
There is an oYcial cultural line about how parents should protect their children from illicit drug use: Talk to your kids about drugs. This advice is dispensed in public service television advertisements and on billboards and
bumper stickers across America. But how, exactly, should parents talk to their
teens about drugs, particularly when the parent has had personal experience
with marijuana? Should the conversation focus on impersonal drug facts and
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W H E N PA R E N TS S TO R I E S G O TO P OT
191
on the teens drug experience, or should the parents also disclose their own
personal experience with drugs?
The most accessible source for educating parents about how to talk to their
children about drugs is Drug Free America, a nonproWt organization whose
website draws from guidelines provided by the U.S. Department of Education. The Drug Free America website (http://www.drugfreeamerica.org/
Templates/Help-For-Parents) advises parents to begin to talk early to their
children about drugs, to be a good listener, to give a clear no-use message, and
to model honest behavior that the child can emulate. The advice to parents
who have used drugs in the past is to go slow in the disclosure in an eVort to
determine the childs readiness for an open answer. In 1999, as we were conceiving the present study, we discovered a script on the Drug Free America
website tailored for such occasions:1
The 12-year-old you care for comes home from school and says, pretty matterof-factly, I learned about drugs today. The teacher said that lots of people your
age used to do drugs. Did you?
You: Wow, youre learning about drugs already? What are they teaching
you?
Child: Well, just about drugs and alcohol, and the teacher said a lot of
people your age used drugs when they were young.
You: Well, Im not sure what your teacher meant to say, but I can tell you
what I know about those times. Would you like me to?
Child: Sure.
You: Well, many people my age, who were young adults back then, tried
marijuana. We mostly called it pot. But we didnt know as much about it as
we do now. It was the same with cigarettes. We didnt think smoking was
very harmful either. So do you still want to know if I smoked marijuana?
Think. . . .
Child: Are you just trying not to tell me?
You: No, Im trying to be thoughtful about how I answer you so Ill know
more about what you think about my drug usage.
Child: So you did?
You: Yes, I tried it. A couple of times because friends of mine were doing
it. And then I stopped because I decided it just wasnt a good thing to do.
The above script provided a useful point of departure for our study because
it was so vague; the script seemed to end just at the point that the parent was
1 This script is no longer featured on the website, which now contains more general advice
for parents of children at diVerent ages. The source of the advice is the U.S. Department of
Health and Human Services (1998, pp. 89).
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T H O R N E , M c L E A N , D A S B AC H
beginning to tell a personal story. The cautionary tone of the script may have
been due to its being addressed to a 12-year-old. Is such a script appropriate
for older adolescents, or should parents respond more directly and, if so, with
how much detail? If parents have smoked pot in the past, should they openly
share their stories with their teenagers, or should parents speak with the voice
of the parent self, and downplay their teenage selves in an eVort to emphasize
the role of caregiver?
Responding to the question Did you ever smoke pot when you were
younger? raises serious issues that lie at the heart of parenting, and at the
heart of making sense of ones life in a way that is both honest and responsible. In answering what we will henceforth refer to as the Question, one must
answer to oneself as well as to ones child. The ideals of personal integrity and
responsibility would seem at odds for parents who smoked marijuana in their
younger years, and who seek an optimal way to reconcile those values.
THE STUDY
To explore the parameters of this sensitive case of family narratives, we interviewed 17 parents (75% females) and 18 teens (60% females). The large majority of our informants were White, middle-class, and American born, and
had at least some college education. The informants all resided in a county of
Northern California, an area of the United States known for politically liberal
values and which, along with California at large and seven other states, voted
in the late 1990s in favor of the medicinal use of marijuana. The parents in
the sample ranged in age from 40 to their early 50s, and the average number
of children was two. Most of these children were currently in their mid- to
late teens, although a few were preteens and several were in their 20s. The
parents heard about our study by word of mouth; this is not an optimal
method for sampling the community, but we felt it was a useful way to begin
to explore the parameters of a very sensitive topic. Most of the teens whom
we interviewed were 18 years of age and in their Wrst months of living away
from home at college, a time when exposure to alternative lifestyles is in high
gear. Most of the teens were recruited from the research participation pool at
a local college for a study of family stories. All informants were promised
anonymity.
Initially we intended to interview parents and their own teenage children.
However, we found during pilot interviews that the topic could be invasive in
its impact on the relationship between the parent and child. Privacy issues
were one consideration, for although we assured informants that we would
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W H E N PA R E N TS S TO R I E S G O TO P OT
193
not reveal what they had said to the parent and vice versa, we sensed some
hesitation on the part of each. We also heard a few stories about the impact
that anticipation of the interview had upon family discussions of the topic,
an interesting issue in its own right but one that goes beyond our current
scope. Because we were not sure how these family discussions might impact
what parents and teens said about the topic, we decided to switch to the safer
ground of non-related parents and teens. A woman in her late 40s, with
grown children, interviewed most of the parents, and a 20-year-old female
college student interviewed most of the teens. The interviewers, like most
of the respondents, were White and middle class, and had some college
education.
We emphasized to the informants that our intention was not to cast one
particular narrative practice as better than another. We dont know enough
about how these practices work in the context of particular families, and we
have not independently assessed antecedents or outcomes of the practices.
Ideally, we would like to capture these narrative practices on the hoof, as
they spontaneously emerge in everyday discourse, and to collect a much
larger and more representative sample. But at this stage of the project, we
were simply interested in exploring how parents and teens talked about this
particular transgression and the range of practices and values that emerged.
Informants Histories of Marijuana Use
To enhance rapport with the informants, we did not directly ask about their
own past and current levels of marijuana use or that of their families. Instead,
we waited for them to volunteer this information, and it usually emerged in
the course of the interview. Approximately one third of the parents said they
had never smoked marijuana, explaining that it was not available when they
were growing up or that alcohol was the drug of choice in their family and
peer group. Another third of the parents said they had used marijuana along
with other illegal drugs and alcohol in the past, but stopped permanently
when their children were young; most of these parents regarded themselves as
reformed, ex-drug abusers. The Wnal third of the parents described themselves
as recreational pot smokers in the past and present.2 This felicitous distribution of parental drug use (similar proportions of non-users, ex-abusers, and
recreational users) allowed us to compare practices of parents with diVerent
2 Our proportion of parents who had smoked marijuana in the past year, about one third,
was larger than the 10% of parents who, in national surveys, report occasional marijuana use
(Cass, 2002), but is not surprising given the community in which they resided.
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T H O R N E , M c L E A N , D A S B AC H
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195
The interview protocol shown in Table 8.1 was the basis for the interviews
that are the focus of the present study. During the interview, the informant
was asked to comment on the appropriateness of each hypothetical script,
with minimal intrusion on the part of the interviewer. Parents generally were
more voluble than the teens with regard to their personal experiences, and
seemed more emotionally engaged by the posed parenting predicaments. The
interviews were transcribed, and tallied with regard to which hypothetical
scripts the informant viewed as appropriate, which yielded mixed or ambivalent responses, and which were viewed as inappropriate.
TABLE 8.1
Interview Protocol for Parents and Teens
In our past interviews with parents and teens, a number of responses were oVered with regard
to how parents should talk to their kids about their personal experiences with marijuana.
Weve listed some of the responses on these cards. Were interested in knowing which
responses seem to be appropriate, and which seem inappropriate. Since there are no correct
answers to this question, were interviewing parents [teens] to see what they can tell us.
Id like you to read the Wrst response out loud, and to tell me whether you think its something a parent should say to their kid, and why or why not. Were especially interested in the
why or why not part. Then well move on to the next response. Before I read each parental
response, Id like you to pretend to be the kid. Each time, youll ask the same question:
Some of my friends are talking about smoking pot. Did you ever smoke pot? Ill then read
the response on the card. Then Id like you to tell me if you think the response is the right
thing to say to ones kid, and why or why not. Then well proceed to the next card and repeat
the process. Do you have any questions? . . . OK lets begin.
Kid says:
Some of my friends are talking about smoking pot. Did you ever smoke pot?
Parent responds:
1. Do you really want me to tell you whether I smoked pot as a kid? Think about how
you would feel if I said no, and think about how you would feel if I said yes. Do you
really want to know?
[Is this something you think a parent should say to their kid? Why or why not? Interviewer repeats after reading each hypothetical response.]
2. No, I didnt. That stuV rots the brain and makes people stupid. People start with pot
and then go on to harder stuV. Its really dangerous. I hope you never do it.
3. Yes, I smoked some pot when I was a teenager and I regret it now. It didnt help me
do better in school, and I could have gotten into a lot of trouble. I hope you learn from
my experience and dont try it.
4. A lot of kids smoked pot when I was a teenager, and a lot of them smoke it now. At
some point someone is going to oVer you some and I worry that it will be too strong,
or that youll get arrested. If you do experiment with it some time, I hope you will do
it in a safe place and that you will call me if you need me to come get you.
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T H O R N E , M c L E A N , D A S B AC H
We found that the Wrst two scripts shown in Table 8.1 were unanimously
rejected by all of the parents and all of the teens. The third script was
endorsed to some degree by all the parents and all of the teens, and the fourth
script was endorsed by all of the teens and only some of the parents. In the
following sections, we elaborate the parents and teens reactions to each
script, focusing on the values that emerged for informants with diVerent histories of marijuana use.
Unanimous Endorsement of Honesty
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197
This informant felt that the mothers failure to disclose her own transgressions contributed to the rift between the mother and the child. The informant, who cast herself and Alices mother as having smoked pot as teens, then
added, If you dont talk to them about it, I think youre setting them up to
get into trouble. I think youre setting yourself up for having problems with
your kid, bigger problems to deal with. Lying about the transgression was
viewed as more grievous than the transgression itself.
Unanimous Endorsement of Personal Integrity,
and of Knowing Drug Facts
No, I didnt. That stuV rots the brain and makes people stupid.
People start with pot and then go on to harder stuV. Its really dangerous. I hope
you never do it. This script was double-barreled because it included the
claim that the parent had not smoked marijuana, and the claim that pot rots
the brain and leads to harder drugs. A double-barreled response is not ideal for
a questionnaire item, but this sort of response was prominent in our pilot interviews, in which a parents denial of having ever smoked pot was reportedly
followed by a dire warning about the dangers of marijuana. Very few of our
informants, either parents or teens, believed that smoking marijuana usually
leads to harder drugs, reXecting empirical research (e.g., Gabany & Plummer,
1990; Kandel, 1975). Teens appeared to be more aware of this research than
parents, referring to Script 2 as propounding the erroneous gateway theory
of drugs. The teenage informants had been reared in an era in which drug
education was formally dispensed by experts, in contrast to their parents and
grandparents, for whom drug education was much more informal.
Script 2.
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T H O R N E , M c L E A N , D A S B AC H
The grandparents were cast as the most ignorant of drug facts. A number
of the parents said that their own parents believed that pot was a gateway to
harder drugs, and that dire warnings about pot were a familiar refrain in their
family of origin. Their parents were viewed as not only nave about pot, but
also as hypocritical because alcohol was normalized while marijuana was
demonized. In one case, this perceived parental hypocrisy was used to justify
the daughters own excessive use of pot in adolescence. The daughter, a former heavy drug user who is now clean and sober, recounted the following
story:
In my own family there was so much drinking on the part of adults that when
I was experimenting with drugs and they told me, Dont smoke marijuana, its
a dangerous drug, I said, Well, youre doing your drugs. And I really remembered this hypocrisy and I didnt wanna be that way with our kids. That was
real important to me, to not be hypocritical. But then I felt really struck by the
fact that I had done things that I had to in order to not be a hypocrite. I had to
fess up. I wish very strongly I could have led a better example.
The above mother, angry at her own parents hypocrisy with regard to alcohol, became a heavy drug user. She used drugs with abandon in front of her
very young children, just as she said her parents had used alcohol. She now
sees the irony of her response to her parents hypocrisy, and wishes she had set
a better example.
Overall, parents were skeptical about Script 2 because someone who had
never used pot was unlikely to be knowledgeable about its eVects. Parents
who had no exposure to pot and endorsed the gateway theory seemed nave
to their children, and parents who condemned pot but were sanguine about
the use of alcohol seemed hypocritical.
Teenagers also attributed the navit of Script 2 to parental inexperience,
but some of the teens also intimated that the experience of smoking pot
itself, not just its long-term consequences, could not be understood by inexperienced parents. For example one teen said of the script, My mom
said that to me and it makes me think shes nave and biased because she
never smoked pot and doesnt know the whole story. Several teens said that
Script 2 would create a barrier to open communication and might even
boomerang:
Yes, my parents said that to me. In my family, drugs were bad, period. It was
ok to drink but not to use pot. Its a very lame answer because theres no
exchange allowed; the parent makes it a closed issue. Its too black and white.
The kid will feel he cant talk to his parents about it.
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Another self-identiWed former heavy drug user whose grown children have
drug problems of their own reported an episode in which she and her grown
son openly exchanged their regrets. Her account suggested the interesting
possibility that a parents regrets can only be fully understood by someone
who shares the same experience, in this case, ones grown child.
Whereas the preceding two informants voiced considerable regret about
their past drug use, the regret was not transformed into a hopeful vision for
the future. Rather, the mothers seemed to feel helpless with regard to their
own and their childrens future, and their diYculties were compounded by
a spouse or ex-spouse who was a heavy drug user. Clearly, parents stories of
regret draw from and inXuence other family members; regret does not exist in
isolation, although we are far from understanding the impact of regret on
families and lives.
Recreational pot smokers who endorsed the regret script did so half-heartedly, as if they were drawing from a dominant cultural narrative that might
serve as a protective device, but which they did not fully embrace. For example, one such mother endorsed Script 3 because it seemed to be a gentle way
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T H O R N E , M c L E A N , D A S B AC H
to try to deter her children from using drugs. She said, Yes, I said it that way.
Its more honest than lying and saying I didnt smoke pot, but I dont really
regret having smoked it. I didnt know what else to say to make them think
twice about smoking pot.
Teens liked the script because it seemed more credible than the prior
scripts, even if ones parent would never say it. Teens seemed very able to differentiate between what their parents would say and what seemed to be an
optimal response:
Its personal, which is good, and honest about the eVects, not an exaggeration,
and its good because youre still being the parent. But my parents wouldnt say
thisId be shocked! Theyve never smoked pot.
Some of the teens parents had reportedly used Script 3, apparently to good
eVect: Yes, my dad said this. I really like it. Its honest and states risks, and
Ive never smoked pot. Yes, thats what my mom said, Im trusting you to
learn from my experience. Several teens emphasized the value of giving the
teen some leeway; the script seemed to do that by making the child think
twice, instead of prohibiting experimentation: Its really good. Emphasizes
moderation, illegality, and makes the kid think twice. Its good because its
honest and theyre trying to deter you from something they think is bad for
you. It makes the kid think.
A few teens questioned whether the regret script would be eVective because
the child might not be satisWed living vicariously through the parents experience, or because regret should be an equal opportunity: if a parent could
smoke pot and regret it, then a teen could, too. Its honest and informative
about possible consequences, but the moms experience may not be the kids
experience. Sometimes kids need to experience stuV for themselves. Its
good because shes telling the truth. But it could backWre, the kid might think
Well, you did it so Ill do it and learn for myself. Its better to say this to a
college student, a kid whos older.
Divergence Between Parents and Teens:
Providing a Safety Net for Experimentation
A lot of kids smoked pot when I was a teenager, and a lot of them
smoke it now. At some point someone is going to oVer you some and I worry that
it will be too strong, or that youll get arrested. If you do experiment with it some
time, I hope you will do it in a safe place and that you will call me if you need me
to come get you. This Wnal script emphasized the inevitability of the temptation, the potential physiological and legal dangers, and the importance of
being cautious and calling the parent for help, if need be. Although the script
Script 4.
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201
did not reveal the parents own marijuana history, this omission did not seem
to trouble the informants. Instead, informants focused on the delicate balance that was conveyed between allowing the teen freedom and responsibility
in an era in which exposure to marijuana was viewed as inevitable.
The teens, regardless of their own marijuana history and the attitudes of
their parents toward marijuana, were uniformly enthusiastic about the trust
and responsibility that was conveyed by Script 4. Teens felt that the script
would encourage honesty and openness on the part of the child, as well as
responsible experimentation. The enthusiasm for this script was apparent in
the response of a young woman who had never smoked pot, nor had her parents. Despite the fact that she could not imagine her parents voicing the
script, she thought it was a good way to handle it:
I think this one is great. The parent is taking responsibility and giving the kid
responsibility but also saying Ill be there for you. The parent is understanding. My parents would never say this, though. They would lecture me really
hard if I ever smoked pot.
A young man, whose dad used to grow pot and reportedly told hell-raising
stories about it, described himself as having gone in the opposite direction.
But he liked the script because its openness would make the teen feel he didnt
have to hide stuV, and that the teen would feel relieved. Another young
man liked the script because it addressed the dangers, health risks, legal risks,
and inevitable exposure: The parent seems very well informed about the
teens situation, which would make the kid feel more secure and understood.
Whereas teens were uniformly positive about Script 4, the script split the
general consensus that had prevailed in the parents responses to the prior
scripts. Reformed former pot users found the safety net script too permissive.
For example, the mother of the pot baby, described previously, felt that the
script encourages the kid to experiment. Its important to send a strong
no-pot message. This mother felt that she perpetually had to battle her sons
peer culture and her ex-husbands permissiveness to keep her son away from
marijuana. To her, the issue was black and white because of her fear that her
son would become like her former self, and like her ex-husband, an unrepentant daily pot-smoker.
Parents who favored the safety net script were abstainers who had never
smoked pot but had indulged in alcohol, or were recreational pot-smoking
parents. The former group included a mother of three teenagers, the youngest
of whom she was worried about. She said she uses this script because it
makes them feel Ill be there for them if they make a mistake, and that Ill be
disappointed if they go too far. She thinks the narrative instills a dual sense
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T H O R N E , M c L E A N , D A S B AC H
of security and guilt, and also keeps the lines of communication open. A
recreational pot-smoking mother said that she emphasized how not to cross
the line with regard to pot smoking. She told her teens:
Dont take it to school, dont carry it around because its illegal and youll get
into trouble; you can smoke it at home with your friends before you go to a
dance, but if you are ever in a situation where you cant get home safely you call
me, no questions asked, no lectures.
IMPLICATIONS
We were surprised at the eagerness with which parents volunteered to participate in the study, and their vested interest in the Wndings. Many sought from
us the perfect script, or as one mother phrased it, the magic bullet for how
to talk to ones children about ones personal experiences with marijuana. We
cannot provide a magic bullet on the basis of three dozen interviews, but the
themes that emerged suggest some guidelines for what virtues matter for
American parents and teens with regard to the narrative management of this
illicit transgression. These virtueshonesty, knowledge, regret, and, for
most parents and all of the teens, safe experimentation will be discussed in
this section along with larger implications for the Weld of family narrative.
The most prominent virtue across all parents and 18-year-olds was the
importance of answering the question Did you ever smoke pot when you
were younger? honestly and straightforwardly. A simple, immediate, and
honest yes or no was highly valued because it was felt to create a climate
of mutual honesty. Parents who were honest with their children could more
often expect their children to be honest with them. Sharing stories about
5 As an interesting side note for the study of family narrative, we noticed that among the
currently married informants, the recreational pot smokers more often used the collective
voice, using we instead of I in their discourse, for example, We say be smart about it and
dont get in a car. Call us, and try to be moderate. Such indications of parental consensus
(Steuve & Pleck, 2001) were less prevalent among married informants who had reportedly not
smoked pot, or who were reformed ex-drug abusers.
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203
ones illicit past may signify a turning point toward an egalitarian relationship
between parent and child, which tends to surface in emerging adulthood
(Arnett, 2000). Whereas oVering ones adolescent more freedom (e.g., to use
the family car or to stay out later) communicates a one-way trust in the child,
disclosing ones illicit behavior communicates a mutual trust. The disclosure
trusts the child to use the information wisely and to understand the parent
from a more mature perspective.
To our surprise, parents who had not smoked pot were not oV the hook
with regard to the Question because such parents ran the risk of being dismissed by their teens as nave and out of touch with the childs reality. Parents
who had not smoked pot tended to be regarded by their children as ignorant
of basic drug facts. The teens in our study, relative to their parents, tended to
be more formally educated about the inaccuracy of the claim that marijuana
is usually the gateway to hard drugs. However, some teens felt that accurate
knowledge of drug facts was not suYcient to render their parents credible
sources with regard to the eVects of marijuana, or to fully understand the
childs experience. These teens felt that parents had to have smoked marijuana
themselves in order to understand the whole story and to more fully open
the lines of communication between parent and child. This view raises the
interesting question of whether engaging in the same activity (although not
necessarily with ones child) opens lines of communication about the experience. For example, the full story of a parents sexual experiences is not usually
discussed in American families, regardless of the age of the child (Bartle,
1998).
In talking about their past experiences with marijuana, parents tended to
place much more emphasis on conveying risks than beneWts. Even parents
who were current occasional users endorsed the expression of regret in an
eVort to promote caution and long-term achievement over the pleasures of a
short-term high. While honesty about whether one had ever smoked pot was
an important theme, honesty about the full range of consequences bad and
good, short-term and long-termwas less valued. Thus, even for parents
who appeared to have enjoyed marijuana with few negative consequences,
expressing regret about potentially negative consequences trumped honesty about
experienced consequences.
The Wnal virtue, safe experimentation, was enthusiastically endorsed by
all the teens and by most of the parents. This virtue did not focus on the
parents marijuana experience, but instead emphasized the inevitability of
the temptation, the potential physiological and legal dangers, and the importance of being cautious and calling the parent for help, if need be. Teenagers
were enthusiastic about the realism, freedom and responsibility that were
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T H O R N E , M c L E A N , D A S B AC H
8.
W H E N PA R E N TS S TO R I E S G O TO P OT
205
more responsible the child, the more likely the informants (both parents and
teens) viewed as appropriate parents disclosure of their illicit past. This sensitivity to the maturity of the child was striking, although parents on the
whole were viewed by teens as continuing to be more protective of their illicit
transgressions than the teens felt was necessary. The teens viewed their parents as people who make mistakes but are generally well intentioned, a view
that parallels the attitudes of the American parents of young children in the
Miller et al. (2001) study. The parents in the present study, however, were less
uniform than either Millers parents or our 18-year-olds in viewing their
teenagers as human beings who make mistakes. Many seemed to feel that the
fruits of their parenting were still on the vine. The more casual attitude of
teens toward parental transgressions than vice versa may reXect diVerences in
investment in the parental project (Steinberg, 2001). For example, parents
tend to view their childrens transgressions as reXecting on their own failure as
a parent, whereas teens do not tend to read such deep meaning into it
(Collins, 1990; Smetana, 1988). Sometimes in our interviews with teens, we
asked them how they would talk to their own kids about their experiences
with illicit drugs. This question tended to produce a more cautious story, one
that was reminiscent of the cautionary tales more often portrayed by parents.
Possibly, projecting oneself into the future may lead a teenager to cast the
present into a longer time perspective and to experience the present with
more of an eye to the future.
The most dramatic diVerences among parents centered on their comfort
with their own adolescent selves. The recreational pot-smoking mothers still
seemed to value the exploratory mentality to which they viewed marijuana as
a route. For such mothers, cautious experimentation was a practice which
they felt they had successfully incorporated into their lives; their current
selves were relatively conversant with their past selves (Bakhtin, 1981; Hermans, 1996). These mothers expressed pride in their childrens academic and
extracurricular achievements and conWdence in their childrens moderation
with regard to the use of pot, although they were alert to signs that their children were veering oV track. Such mothers seemed to exemplify families who
have a sustained generational identity. In a longitudinal study of California
counterculture families, Weisner and Bernheimer (1998, p. 212) found that
regardless of whether counterculture values had been sustained or abandoned,
all of the parents felt that their teenage childrens well-being (or lack thereof )
. . . resulted partly from countercultural parental values and life choices. A
sustained commitment to these values was found to be associated with greater
subjective and objective well being for middle-aged parents and their
teenagers, including lower levels of teenage drug use.
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T H O R N E , M c L E A N , D A S B AC H
The recreational pot-smoking mothers contrasted markedly with the mothers who were worried about their teenage childrens use of drugs. The latter
mothers had a spouse or an ex-spouse who, in their view, did not use moderation as a philosophy. The disparity between the parents with regard to attitudes toward marijuana was cast as a perpetual obstacle in keeping their children on the good path. A former pot-using mother whose husband smokes
marijuana daily said she had never discussed her husbands marijuana use
with her 17-year-old:
My son oftentimes will say, Well, you know, Dad said this, you say that. You
can tell theres a little bit of confusion. On the other hand, I dont think its
reasonable for two people to get their stories straight ahead of time either. I
think you just have to go with it. Like I say, Well, you know, thats what dad
thinks and dad is diVerent from me.
Further fracturing the coherence of that family system was the troubled trajectory of the mothers life story. This mother seemed to have psychologically
divorced her adolescent drug self from her current sober self, but had not
developed a hopeful vision of the future for herself or for her children. This
kind of unhopeful personal story has been found to be associated with unfortunate family outcomes (McAdams & Bowman, 2001; Pratt, Norris, van de
Hoef, & Arnold, 2001; Singer, 1997).
Clearly an important issue to be pursued by family narrative research
concerns the impact of parents personal stories on family climate and childrens well-being. Consistent with Miller et al. (2001), most of the parents
in the present study believed that the personal stories that they chose to tell
to their children inXuenced their childrens development. We have no independent evidence to support the validity of such beliefs, but we noted some
variation with regard to the strength of the conviction. Fathers, although
underrepresented in the study, tended to be less concerned than mothers
about vividly disclosing past episodes of drug use to their children. Hints of
a parallel gender diVerence also emerged in the hell-raising stories that
fathers more often told children in Millers studies of American families
(Miller et al., 2001). Overall, we sensed that mothers viewed personal narratives as a more powerful socializing agent than did fathers, who tended to
view their stories as serving more of an entertainment than a guidance function. The Weld of family narrative is just beginning to understand the inXuence of parents personal stories on childrens well-being. How parents determine which stories are appropriate to tell is a fascinating route for future
research.
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207
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
We are grateful to the parents and teenagers who entrusted us with their experiences, to our interviewers, Mimi Cleary and Christina Chidester, and to Joe
Christy and Margarita Azmitia for comments on prior drafts. Preparation of
this manuscript was supported in part by a training grant from the National
Institute of Mental Health (5 T32 M20025-03) to the second author.
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PA R T I I I
9
Marital Attachment
and Family Functioning:
Use of Narrative Methodology
Susan Dickstein
Brown University
This chapter focuses on the extent to which marriage functions as an attachment relationship reXected in working models incorporating organized representations of the self and of social relationships produced in narrative form.
Marriage is an intimate adult relationship embedded within a family system
that is linked with quality of functioning in numerous other aspects of family
life. For example, research has shown that the marriage is related to a host of
outcomes including how parents interact with their infants, how young children express and regulate emotion, and how episodes of depression in women
are experienced, maintained, and resolved (Barnett & Gotlib, 1988; Hooley
& Teasdale, 1989; Jacobson, Dobson, Fruzetti, Schmaling, & Salusky, 1991;
Kowalik & Gotlib, 1987). There has been ongoing examination of the processes by which marriage inXuences (and is inXuenced by) various family subsystem functions. In this chapter, focus is placed on attachment processes to
examine links among family subsystems.
Attachment research has become a hallmark approach from which to
conceptualize interpersonal interaction that has meaning across generational
boundaries and relationship contexts (van IJzendoorn, 1992; Waters, Vaughn,
Posada, & Kondo-Ikemura, 1995). To date, most of this work has examined
adult attachment relationships in the realm of adults conceptualization of
their own early childhood relationships with their parents. In particular, adult
attachment relationships have been the focus of attention when attempting
to elucidate processes that might help explain attachment status in children.
In this chapter, we broaden the lens to examine the marital relationship as an
adult attachment construct with associated representational properties (Hazan
& Shaver, 1990; Owens et al., 1995; Shaver, Hazan, & Bradshaw, 1988). It is
213
214
DICKSTEIN
ATTACHMENT THEORY
Bowlby (1982) theorized that children form internal working models of their
relationships with others based on early interactions with signiWcant caregivers. When children have experiences with reliable and responsive caregivers,
they construct a working model of that relationship as secure and accessible,
and a sense of self as adequate and worthy (Bretherton, 1985; Cummings &
Cicchetti, 1990). In contrast, the continual experience of caregiver unavailability or inconsistency leads to expectations that the caregiver cannot be
relied on as a secure base from which to explore the world, and that the self is
unworthy of love. Overall, attachment theory supports the following points:
(a) the childs sense of self is formed within a relationship context; (b) each
child potentially has multiple signiWcant relationship contexts within which
the sense of self can be diVerentiated and enriched; and (c) working models
are a heuristic for understanding the organized representations of self and
relationships corresponding to observable attachment patterns that can be
classiWed through use of standard procedures.
Recent methodological developments have facilitated more direct assessment of adults current working models of their past relationships, termed
adult attachment (George, Kaplan, & Main, 1985; Main & Goldwyn, 1988).
Secure attachment is reXected in a balance between the attachment and
exploratory motivational systems. In infants, this is demonstrated when the
child seeks proximity to, and obtains comfort from, the caregiver during
times of distress, following which the child promptly returns to exploration
of the object and social worlds. In adults, secure attachment (labeled autonomous) is manifest as the ability to describe early relationships with caregivers
in a coherent and consistent manner; these adults convey a strong sense of
9.
M A R I TA L AT TAC H M E N T A N D FA M I LY F U N C T I O N I N G
215
216
DICKSTEIN
Minde, 1989), failure to thrive in their infants (Benoit, Zeanah, & Barton,
1989), and dysregulations in mother-infant aVect attunement (Haft &
Slade, 1989).
Further, parents working models of relationships developed early in life
are related to the attachment relationships they develop with their own children. Prospective studies have found concordance rates ranging from 66%
to 75% between maternal adult attachment classiWcations (secure versus insecure) obtained by Adult Attachment Interview (AAI) during pregnancy,
and infant-mother attachment (secure versus insecure) observed in the
Ainsworth, Blehar, Waters, and Wall (1978) Strange Situation more than a
year later (Benoit, Vidovic, & Roman, 1991; Fonagy, Steele, & Steele, 1991;
Ward, Botyanski, Plunkett, & Carlson, 1991). A similar range of concordance rates was found when the AAI was administered concurrently or following the Strange Situation (Eichberg, 1987; Main & Goldwyn, 1994;
Zeanah & Emde, 1994).
Although most of the literature to date has focused on mothers, recent work
has highlighted the importance of examining fathers working models of relationships. In a meta-analysis conducted by van IJzendoorn and BakermansKranenburg (1996), results indicated that the distribution of attachment representations in fathers is remarkably similar to that of mothers. Initial work
suggests that mothers and fathers representations may diVerentially correspond with child outcomes. For example, while fathers attachment representations were signiWcantly related to father-infant security, van IJzendoorn and
Bakermans-Kranenburg (1996) found that the association was somewhat less
strong than it was for mothers. In addition, in a nonclinical sample, Cowan,
Cohn, Cowan, and Pearson (1996) found that fathers representations were
more associated with teacher ratings of externalizing behaviors in preschool
age children, whereas mothers representations were more associated with
child internalizing behaviors.
In a related vein, recent work has assessed associations between the quality
of the marital relationship and each partners adult attachment working
model of childhood. Cohn, Cowan, Cowan, and Pearson (1992) found no
relation between adult attachment (of early childhood relationships) classiWcations and self-reports of marital satisfaction, obtained from both husbands
and wives. For husbands, however, adult attachment security was related to
more positive (as opposed to conXictual) behavior in the marriage. Further,
the authors speculated that a secure partner may, in fact, buVer negative
eVects of insecure working models established concerning early experience
(i.e., adult attachment) vis--vis current marital behavior. Such Wndings support our working hypothesis that the nature of the attachment relationship
9.
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217
between the partners may be linked both to marital behavior and to intergenerational continuity of relationship patterns.
In sum, attachment patterns can be examined in diVerent developmental
periods; there is correspondence within families across generations; these
attachments appear to inXuence the developing sense of self as well as the
developing expectations regarding the extent to which others can be relied on
as emotional and social supports; and mothers and fathers representations
potentially yield diVerential associations with parent-child and marital behavior. While a high degree of within-family correspondence has been reported
between adult and infant-parent attachment classiWcations, the direction of
the eVects has not been clearly substantiated. The extent to which this association can be accounted for by intervening variables (such as the nature of
mothers current adult relationships) has not been fully explored. Finally, factors that may account for the observed intergenerational (and relational)
matches and mismatches (potentially revealing protective or risk factors) have
not been fully investigated.
MARITAL ATTACHMENT
218
DICKSTEIN
The Marital Attachment Interview is a direct extension of the Adult Attachment Interview (George, Kaplan, & Main, 1996), with modiWcations to
address diVerences between construction of past relationships with the prior
generation and the current same-generation marital attachment relationship.
The MAI maintains similar properties as the AAI, including use of structured
questions about attachment issues, questions asked in a set order, probes
9.
M A R I TA L AT TAC H M E N T A N D FA M I LY F U N C T I O N I N G
219
The narratives generated from verbatim transcripts of the Marital Attachment Interview are coded using the Adult Attachment Interview scoring system in slightly modiWed form to make marital attachment classiWcations
(Main & Goldwyn, 1994). Attachment classiWcations from narrative assessment are based on two major dimensions, including security-insecurity and
activation-deactivation of attachment behavior (Kobak, Cole, Ferenz-Gillies,
& Flemming, 1993). The security-insecurity dimension is assessed from narrative properties including narrative characteristics (how the person presents
narrative material) and content regarding actual relationship experiences
(what the person says about relationships). The manner in which the person
presents narrative material is weighted more heavily in the scoring than the
speciWc content.
Narrative Scales. For the MAI, Loving and Rejection scales are scored
consistent with their counterparts in the AAI system. The Loving scale
assesses the extent to which the person describes experiences in the current
signiWcant adult relationship as loving or unloving, and maintains a Wrm
sense that the partners are emotionally supportive and available. The Rejection scale assesses the extent to which the person describes experiences in the
relationship as rejecting and/or avoiding of the persons attachment behaviors, as being emotionally distant or aloof, and/or as desiring to be out of the
relationship altogether. Given the adult-adult nature of the marital relationship, these scales are considered bi-directionally; thus, a rating is made based
on the persons experience of being rejected by the partner and/or the persons
experience of rejecting the partner. Similar to AAI scoring, experience scales
220
DICKSTEIN
are ultimately scored based on the raters judgments about the quality of the
relationship in each domain.
The scales rating Narrative Characteristics include Coherence, Idealization, Anger, Derogation, Lack of SpeciWcity (the analogue of AAI Lack of
Recall), Metacognitive Process, Passivity of Thought Processes, and Fear of
Loss. These scales are consistent with their AAI counterparts, with Coherence
being the primary scale upon which classiWcation is based. Three of these
scales were modiWed to better reXect the current nature of the marital relationship. The Anger scale assesses the extent to which the person indicates
anger toward or about the partner during the interview, which reXects current
involvement in anger experiences. This scale is intended to assess thematic
and pervasive anger, or anger that is presented in an overwhelming manner.
Thus, a person who discloses currently felt anger with the partner related to a
recent Wght, but does so in an organized and reXective manner would not
receive a high score on this scale. The Lack of SpeciWcity scale corresponds to
the AAI Lack of Recall scale. The MAI scale is modiWed to address the current
nature of the marital relationship, and thus emphasis is placed on speciWcity
of disclosure (i.e., ability to provide rich and detailed description of experience) rather than memory for distal events. The Fear of Loss scale was modiWed to address overwhelming anxiety about the possibility of the partners
death or abandonment (rather than a child as in the AAI scoring).
Narrative Classifications. Similar to the AAI, MAI classiWcations of
Secure (Autonomous) or Insecure (Dismissing or Preoccupied) are made. In
addition, a classiWcation of Unresolved with Respect to Loss or Trauma may
be assigned. The MAI Unresolved Loss classiWcation reXects lack of resolution
with respect to the dissolution (due to separation, divorce, or death) of past
intimate adult relationships. The MAI Trauma classiWcation reXects lack of
resolution with respect to abusive experiences with past or current partners.
Also similar to the AAI system, Cannot Classify is assigned when no organized working model pattern can be detected or when clear evidence of two
discrepant models is provided within the transcript.
Secure attachment narratives are coherent, detailed, and responsive to the
interview queries. They may be associated with modest levels of either activation or deactivation of attachment behavior. Information is presented in a relatively independent and objective manner, demonstrating perspective, insight,
and/or understanding, as well as the ability to manage negative aVect. Although speciWc content and valence of relationships may vary, there is thematic
indication of valuing attachment relationships and regard for attachmentrelated experiences as inXuential in current personality and functioning.
9.
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222
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224
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Wives and husbands each completed AAI and MAI interviews, on separate
occasions and independent of one another. Each partner also independently
completed questionnaires regarding family functioning and marital satisfaction. Family functioning was assessed using the Family Assessment Device
(FAD; Epstein, Baldwin, & Bishop, 1983). The FAD is a 60-item self-report
questionnaire based on the McMaster Model of Family Functioning to assess
six domains of family functioning including Roles, Communication, Problem Solving, Behavior Control, AVective Responsiveness, and AVective Involvement, as well as Total Family Functioning (Epstein, Baldwin, & Bishop,
1983; Epstein, Bishop & Levin, 1978). Subjects rated items on a four-point
scale, ranging from very healthy (1) to very unhealthy (4), with lower scores
indicating healthier family functioning. The Total Family Functioning score
for each partner was used in the current analyses. For the sample as a whole,
mean FAD scores for wives and husbands were 1.63 (0.40) and 1.75 (0.41),
respectively.
Marital satisfaction was assessed using the Dyadic Adjustment Scale (DAS;
Spanier, 1976). The DAS is a 32-item instrument that has been widely used
to assess dyadic satisfaction, cohesion, consensus, and expression of aVection
within the current partner relationship, and yields an overall Marital Satisfaction score for each partner. For the sample as a whole, mean DAS scores for
wives and husbands were 105.44 (17.03) and 106.41 (15.62), respectively.
Clinical psychologists or child psychiatrists conducted all attachment interviews. For both attachment interview protocols, clinicians were trained to
be thoroughly familiar with the interview material, format, and general scoring principles in order to adhere to the interview structure while maintaining
a conversation-like and empathic style. Interviews were conducted in a comfortable and private setting in the laboratory, with assurances given that no
information would be disclosed to the partner. Participants were assigned to
diVerent interviewers to conduct their AAI and MAI interviews; in addition,
diVerent interviewers were assigned to each partner of a husband-wife pair.
Altogether, we conducted 47 Adult Attachment Interviews (24 wives and
23 husbands) and 44 Marital Attachment Interviews (24 wives and 20 husbands). There were 44 subjects for whom information was available to compare adult attachment and marital attachment classiWcation (24 wives and
20 husbands). Of the 23 possible couples for whom we obtained both husband and wife data, four couples were excluded because one of the partners
received a Cannot Classify rating on the AAI. In one of these four couples,
one partner also received a Cannot Classify rating on the MAI. Thus, there
were 19 couples for whom information was available to compare spouses
classiWcations on adult attachment and marital attachment ratings.
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DICKSTEIN
AAI (n = 47)
MAI (n = 44)
AAI Base Rates*
Secure
n (%)
Dismissing
n (%)
Preoccupied
n (%)
Cant Classify
n (%)
Unresolved
n (%)
25 (53)
25 (57)
(58)
9 (19)
9 (21)
(24)
9 (19)
9 (21)
(18)
4 (9)
1 (2)
(n/a)
13 (28)
8 (18)
(19)
9.
M A R I TA L AT TAC H M E N T A N D FA M I LY F U N C T I O N I N G
227
and adult attachment classiWcations are concordant, (in some cases) it may be
that a current secure marital working model has aVected the working model
regarding past events such that it gets re-worked. Although the events of the
past remain the same, a secure marital working model may provide (or reXect)
the context within which the past events are reconstructed in a more secure
organization.
We also found that marital attachment security was signiWcantly related to
family functioning. Further, our data provide at least preliminary suggestion
that marital attachment security may be associated (possibly in a protective
manner) with couple and family relationship well-being, both for wives and
husbands. Of course, our data do not address the directionality of these
eVects. Perhaps representations aVect appraisal, but it is equally reasonable
that appraisal (the extent to which each partner feels satisWed with the relationship and/or rates the family unit as well functioning) is one basis for the
construction of marital representations. In general, we found that marital
attachment, in contrast to adult attachment, is a more proximal indicator of
these important family factors. This makes sense in that marital attachment
is, in fact, a model of a current relationship that shares the same context with
other current aspects of family life.
Implications and Conclusions
Marital Attachment Construct. Areas of recent debate include the
extent to which (a) unique working models (as revealed through narrative
description) are developed for each signiWcant relationship partner; (b) each
of these multiple working models is a dynamic construction, with the possibility that (c) one constructed working model can aVect other working models. On the one hand, it is possible that individuals hold distinct types of
working models for diVerent relationship partners this generalizes to having possible lack of correspondence between adult attachment (with family of
origin) and marital attachment (with adult partner). On the other, the cognitive-aVective processes in play when constructing marital attachment working models may aVect the ongoing construction of past relationships, behavior with parents, and behavior with children. We are particularly interested in
the extent to which the marital relationship also has an important potential
restorative function in adults with insecure attachment histories, which may
promote the development of secure infant-parent attachment relationships in
the next generation. More work is necessary to determine the extent to which
marital attachment may be a protective mechanism by which adult attachment insecurity is shielded from the next generation.
228
DICKSTEIN
9.
M A R I TA L AT TAC H M E N T A N D FA M I LY F U N C T I O N I N G
229
linked with relationship experiences and interactions. That is, we may be able
to more closely and directly examine the impact of discordant individual
models on relationship functioning.
Other well-established narrative-based scoring methodologies, such as the
Family Narrative Consortium system (Fiese et al., 1999), may be applied to
jointly (or individually) constructed marital attachment narratives to not
only yield information about the coherence and organization of the content,
but to shed light on narrative interaction and relationship beliefs. In a related
vein, marital narratives have been examined outside the attachment perspective. For example, Gottman and colleagues (e.g., Buehlman, Gottman,
& Katz, 1992) use an oral history interview technique to elicit the couples
co-constructed narrative about the course of their relationship over time to
broadly assess aVective and intimacy reports of the relationship (coding both
content and process variables). They found that one dimension distilled from
these interviews predicted the couples divorce and separation. These results
are explained within the framework of physiological reactivity, and help to
elucidate the importance of aVective processing mechanisms within marital
relationships for the well-being of individual partners as well as the health and
stability of the marriage.
Alternatively, VeroV and colleagues (e.g., VeroV, Sutherland, Chadiha, &
Ortega, 1993) apply symbolic interactionist theory using a reality construction perspective. They evaluate themes derived from marital narratives with
respect to how couples arrive at consensual meanings about their relationship
to predict marital satisfaction and individual well-being. Their results suggest
that quality of narrative construction in fact corresponds with quality of relationship experiences. In addition, they found that couples who are able to
describe and integrate relationship experiences over time (or to reconstruct
these experiences into a current relationship awareness) report better quality
relationships. This theoretical perspective seems to compliment attachment
theory as related to marriage; this constuctivist approach places emphasis on
the couple-ness aspects of the narrative, whereas the attachment approach
focuses on the individuals construction of the relationship. Further empirical
examination of narrative from these distinct theoretical approaches would
likely yield exciting and important information for the Weld.
Clinical Implications. There may be an important place for marital
attachment narrative methodology in preventive-intervention contexts. For
example, the marital attachment narrative may be an ideal evaluation tool
used at the start of marital treatment to assess each partners expectations of
and history with adult intimate relationships; aVective and cognitive con-
230
DICKSTEIN
9.
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231
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PA R T I V
Midlife: Parenting
and Narrative Socialization
Processes in the Family
10
Generativity and the
Narrative Ecology of Family Life
Dan P. McAdams
Northwestern University
Even the smallest family has many stories to tell. Two partners have a story
about how they met, how they came together in love, where their relationship
is headed for the future. They each have stories about their own families of
origin and how those families connect to and conXict with the nuclear family
they have established together. Their parents and siblings have their stories
about the relationship, too, about how, for instance, this is a match that was
deWnitely not made in heaven, about how this couple deWed the odds to create something spectacular, or settled into a predictable pattern of domestic
tedium. Add a child to this nuclear unit, and the narrative possibilities grow
even more, for now there is the story of that birth and development, of what
it means for the future as well as the past. And from the past come stories
passed down from one generation to the next, stories these two partners will
tell their child when she is old enough to appreciate them, stories that their
child may cherish as narrative keepsakes from the past or reject as boring,
irrelevant, or contrary to her own narrative sense of who she wants to be. She
will create her own stories, and borrow many others. Her siblings will do the
same, and their children; and on it goes.
Every family develops within a complex and dynamic ecology of narrative. Stories are created, revised, retold, and forgotten. DiVerent storytellers
occupy diVerent narrative niches. Grandfather rarely tells a story, but when
he does you know it will have a moral lesson. Aunt Vicky dishes the gossip,
but never in the presence of the men and only during peaceful and pleasant
times. Certain people are good listeners, and they get to hear many diVerent
tales. Others specialize as audiences for particular genres and performances.
For example, JeV loves to hear his fathers war stories, but little else really
interests him. The family operates according to implicit rules of storytelling,
regarding what should be said, when, where, how except, of course, when
235
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M CA D A M S
the rules are broken, which is not infrequent. In this uneven and shifting
ecology, stories may function in diVerent ways for diVerent tellers and listeners. In the opening chapter of this volume, Pratt and Fiese identify three
especially important functions of family storytelling. They argue that stories
told in and about families may provide (a) opportunities to act through
which family members learn to become competent narrators, (b) moral messages and lessons aimed to instill values and promote socialization in the
family, and (c) narrative material for the formulation of personal and family
identity.
As parents foster storytelling in their children, impart moral messages
through stories, and use narrative to promote identity development for the
next generation, they express the universal psychosocial urge that Erikson
(1950) named generativity. Generativity is an adults concern for and commitment to promoting the well-being of future generations through parenting, teaching, mentoring, and engaging in a wide range of endeavors aimed at
leaving a positive legacy for the future (McAdams & de St. Aubin, 1992). The
past decade has witnessed an upsurge of empirical research on the concept
of generativity (see McAdams, 2001a; McAdams & de St. Aubin, 1998, for
reviews). Storytelling is one important aspect of generativity, especially in
families (Kotre, 1999, 2004; Pratt, Norris, Arnold, & Filyer, 1999). In their
eVorts to provide guidance and care for the next generation, parents read
nursery rhymes and fairy tales to their children, tell their children cautionary
tales from their own lives, help their children tell their own stories about personal experience, pass on valued family stories from the past, and engage in a
wide range of other narrative practices that serve, among other things, as
manifestations of generativity.
My aim in this chapter is to explore the narrative ecology of family life
from the standpoint of current research and theorizing on generativity. I Wrst
consider the role of narrative in the human life course and then move to the
topics of generative lives and generativity in the family. In the last part of the
chapter, I introduce new data on family stories told by a sample of midlife
adults, half of whom were chosen for interviews based on their extremely
high scores on measures of generativity and half of whom because they scored
very low on generativity. My conceptual integration and analysis of the new
data on family stories and generativity will identify a particular genre of family stories that appears to contain considerable generative power. These especially generative family stories are often structured as tales of suVering and
growth against a backdrop of human kindness. Although generativity can be
expressed in many diVerent narrative forms, family stories that emplot episodes or periods of profound human suVering which ultimately result in
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238
M CA D A M S
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American society, for example, they learn that people go to school through
their teenage years, that they are likely to leave home in late adolescence for
further schooling or work, that they get married and usually have children
sometime after that, that people have jobs or careers that take them well into
middle age, that retirement occurs after that, and so on. This kind of biographical coherence, strongly shaped by cultural norms (Denzin, 1989), must
be in place in a childs mind before he or she can begin to understand his or
her own life as an integrated story, with beginning, middle, and (anticipated)
ending (Habermas & Bluck, 2000). Furthermore, the individual must be able
to explain current events in life in terms of previous events, what Habermas
and Bluck call causal coherence. Thus, a 16-year-old girl may explain her reluctance to respond to boys romantic overtures in terms of a failed romance in
junior high school. She is able to link in narrative two disparate events or
chapters in her life story in such a way as to suggest that the previous event
explains or provides the origin for the later event. Beyond that, she may be
able to extract a general theme or lesson from her narration, a propensity that
Habermas and Bluck call thematic coherence. First-person autobiographical
accounts reveal greater levels of causal and thematic coherence as individuals
move through adolescence and into young adulthood.
The cognitive emergence of causal and thematic coherence in adolescence
dovetails with social and emotional changes occurring at this time to usher in
an appreciation for and concern with Wnding or making a story out of ones
life. And these developments dovetail with the emergence of ego identity as a
central developmental task for young people in their teens and 20s living in
modern societies (Arnett, 2000; Erikson, 1959). In my own theoretical and
empirical work, I have argued that the identity challenge of modern life is a
narrative challenge (McAdams, 1985, 1993, 2001b). The central task in
identity, beginning in late adolescence and young adulthood, is to construct
a life story for oneself that makes sense of who one was, is, and will be within
the social, economic, and ideological world in which a person lives. A life
story is an internalized and evolving narrative of the self that reconstructs the
past and anticipates the future in such a way as to provide ones life with some
degree of unity and purpose. Life stories are based on biographical facts, but
they go considerably beyond the facts as people selectively appropriate aspects
of their experience and imaginatively construe both past and future to construct stories that make sense to them and to their audiences, that vivify and
integrate life and make it more-or-less meaningful. Life stories are psychosocial constructions, co-authored by the person himself or herself and the cultural context within which that persons life is embedded and given meaning.
As such, individual life stories reXect cultural values and norms, including
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M CA D A M S
assumptions about gender, race, and class (Rosenwald & Ochberg, 1992;
Stewart, 1994). Life stories are intelligible within a particular cultural frame,
and yet they also diVerentiate one person from the next. Individual diVerences
in peoples internalized and evolving self-narratives constitute diVerences in
personality between people that are as important as, though very diVerent
from, diVerences in dispositional personality traits (McAdams, 1996).
Identity stories continue to develop well into and through the midlife
years. Some research suggests that the move from early to middle adulthood
may be occasioned by an increase in life-narrative themes concerned with
generativity (McAdams, 2001a; McAdams, de St. Aubin, & Logan, 1993).
Many life stories constructed by middle-aged adults contain aspects of what
McAdams (1985) called a generativity script that is, an outline or plan
regarding how the individual hopes to leave a positive legacy for the next generation. In an existential sense, a generativity script can provide a life story
with a satisfying ending, by suggesting that even though the protagonist of
the story will someday die, he or she will leave behind something worthy (see
also Becker, 1973; Kotre, 1984). Generativity scripts, therefore, provide life
narratives with anticipated endings that in themselves are suggestive of new
beginnings and of the continuity of life from one generation to the next. It is
this sense of giving birth to (generating life) and working to assure continuity from one generation to the next that is at the heart of the human experience of generativity.
GENERATIVITY IN ADULTHOOD
Both within and outside of the family, modern adults Wnd many opportunities to express generativity. Kotre (1984) identiWed four forms of generative
expressions: biological (conceiving children, giving birth), parental (caring
for oVspring, providing guidance and discipline), technical (teaching skills,
modeling behaviors), and cultural (passing on meaning systems, creating new
knowledge for the next generation) generativity. The various forms of generativity are often expressed within particular social roles and domains, in family or work roles, for example, in political and civic domains, even in leisuretime pursuits (MacDermid, Franz, & de Reus, 1998). Within and across
these diVerent role domains, furthermore, generativity can manifest itself in
activities aimed at generating or producing new things and people, in caring
for people and maintaining those most valued aspects of society, and in eventually oVering up or letting go of those people and things that have been generated and cared for (McAdams & de St. Aubin, 1992). The task of letting go,
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G E N E R AT I V I T Y A N D FA M I LY L I F E
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of granting autonomy to ones biological, parental, technical, or societal progeny, is one of the great challenges of generativity, as many parents know.
Erikson contended that generativity versus stagnation is the psychosocial
centerpiece of the seventh stage in his grand developmental scheme, the stage
associated with midlife. Research provides some qualiWed support for Eriksons developmental argument. For example, cross-sectional studies, including a nationwide survey of over 3,000 adult U.S. citizens, suggest that generativity concerns and behaviors may peak in the midlife years (e.g., Keyes &
RyV, 1998; McAdams et al., 1993; Peterson & Stewart, 1990; Rossi, 2001).
Longitudinal data, however, provide more of a mixed picture, with at least
one study showing no relation between age and generativity in the adult years
(Whitbourne, Zuschlag, Elliot, & Waterman, 1992) and another showing a
smooth stage sequence in accord with Eriksons theory (Vaillant & Milofsky,
1980). Furthermore, the developmental course of generativity is strongly
and sometimes unpredictably shaped by social and cultural forces (Cohler,
Hostetler, & Boxer, 1998). DiVerent aspects of generativity may ebb and Xow
at diVerent times over the life course. For example, Stewart and Vandewater
(1998) have shown that the motivation to be generative may be very high in
young adulthood, but that people may not typically be able to fully actualize
their generative desires until they reach the midlife years. The conclusion to
be drawn, then, from the research on the relation between age and generativity is that generativity may indeed be an especially salient psychosocial issue
in midlife, but that generative concerns and issues can arise at virtually any
point in the adult life course (McAdams, 2001a).
Adults diVer from each other with respect to the strength and scope of
their generativity. In recent years, researchers have developed self-report, behavioral, Q-sort, interview-based, and projective measures of individual differences in adult generativity (e.g., Bradley, 1997; McAdams & de St. Aubin,
1992; Peterson & Klohnen, 1995; Stewart, Franz, & Layton, 1988). High
scores on generativity measures are positively associated with a wide range of
prosocial behaviors and societal engagements. For example, research has
shown that generativity is positively associated with prosocial personality
characteristics (Peterson & Klohnen, 1995), strong social support networks
(Hart, McAdams, Hirsch, & Bauer, 2001), interest in political issues and
involvement in the political process (Cole & Stewart, 1996; Hart et al., 2001;
Peterson & Duncan, 1999; Peterson, Smirles, & Wentworth, 1997), church
attendance and involvement in religious/spiritual activities (Dillon & Wink,
2004; Hart et al., 2001; Rossi, 2001), and community voluntarism (Rossi,
2001). Self-report generativity is also positively associated with ratings of subjective mental health and life satisfaction (Ackerman, ZuroV, & Moscowitz,
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M CA D A M S
2000; de St. Aubin & McAdams, 1995; Grossbaum & Bates, 2002; Keyes &
RyV, 1998; Snarey, 1993; Vandewater, Ostrove, & Stewart, 1997). With
respect to demographic considerations, women occasionally score higher
than men on generativity, though the diVerence is not always statistically signiWcant, and more highly educated individuals tend to score slightly higher
than those with low levels of education (Kim & Youn, 2002; McAdams &
de St. Aubin, 1992; Rossi, 2001).
Linking generativity and life narrative (identity), McAdams and his colleagues have compared the life stories of highly generative and less generative
midlife adults in two intensive, interview-based studies (McAdams, Diamond, de St. Aubin, & MansWeld, 1997; McAdams, Reynolds, Lewis, Patten,
& Bowman, 2001). They have identiWed a set of themes that appear signiWcantly more often in the life stories of highly generative adults compared to
their less generative peers. Among these themes is an early sense of being special or advantaged compared to others, a sensitivity to the suVering of other
people, ideological continuity and certitude across the life course, and the
transformation of bad scenes into good outcomes. The last theme is called a
redemption sequence in life narrative, wherein a bad scene is redeemed, salvaged, or made better by that which follows. Generativity is strongly associated with employing the rhetoric of redemption, reform, and recovery in the
identity stories people construct to make sense of their lives (Maruna, 2001;
McAdams & Bowman, 2001). It is interesting to note that the very concept
of generativity itself entails an implicit message of human redemption. The
hard work that the highly generative adult displays in his or her eVorts to promote the well-being of future generations may entail a good deal of pain,
suVering, and sacriWce. Scenes of sacriWce and hard work, therefore, may lead
to scenes of blessing and reward. Indeed, generativity is often about progress,
improvement, transforming the bad into good. In life stories, in folk tales, in
modern Wction and cinema, the discourse of generativity is full of stories
about people suVering and making sacriWces in order to make a better world
for generations to come (de St. Aubin, McAdams, & Kim, 2004).
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raising of children that many adults confront their biggest challenges, fulWllments, and frustrations in generativity. Parenting, therefore, can be seen as a
primary instantiation of generativity itself, and the family, generativitys most
sacred domain.
Yet many observers of contemporary family life, especially family life in
America, contend that something has gone terribly awry in the realm of generativity. Myers (2000) points to a wide range of social indices suggesting that
while Americans material well-being has increased markedly since 1960, the
well-being of families and children has steadily declined. In the United States
since 1960, Myers observes, the divorce rate has roughly doubled, teen suicide rates have tripled, recorded violent crime has quadrupled, the percent of
babies born to unmarried parents has sextupled, and clinical depression has
soared to ten times the preWorld-War-II level. Add to this picture increases
in childhood poverty and child abuse, and the idealized story of a nurturing
American family where generative adults provide care and wisdom for their
cherished oVspring may prove to be a badly distorted myth. In keeping with
Myers view, Twenge (2000) has documented an alarming increase in childrens anxiety scores since the 1950s. Casting an even broader net that encompasses both family and civic life, Putnam (2000) assembles an awesome
array of statistical Wndings to show that social capital of all kinds from
quality family time to charitable givinghas dropped precipitously since the
late 1950s. The title of Putnams (2000) book Bowling Alone leaves us
with a starkly nongenerative image of American life.
These kinds of societal critiques, however, have not gone unchallenged. In
her book, Caring and Doing for Others, Rossi (2001) reports data from a
nationwide survey of Americans family and civic life to suggest that while
many of the problems that Putnam and Myers observe cannot be denied,
there is ample sociological evidence to argue for impressive strength in the
American family and the continued power and prevalence of prosocial and
generative activities among Americans, both in the family and in wider societal contexts. Along with Putney and Bengston (2001), Rossi shows that
despite the problems facing contemporary American families, intergenerational attachments remain very strong. Compared to the 1950s, American
families are structured in a wide assortment of nontraditional ways today.
Yet adults care and provide for children in ways that often defy the negative
expectations that many social critics put forth. Grandparents, baby sitters,
child-care workers, Wctive kin, same-sex partners, and a host of other nontraditional caregivers supplement parenting done by mothers and fathers in
the many diVerent kinds of family structures that prevail on the American
scene today (e.g., Hill, 1997).
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M CA D A M S
While Myers and Putnam review a large corpus of sociological data, Rossi
(2001) provides data of her own from her nationwide study showing that
generativity is a powerful force in caring and doing for others within the
family. Individual diVerences in adults self-reported concern about generativity were strongly predictive of the extent to which both men and women
involved themselves in family care. Generativity was positively associated
with providing both monetary and social/emotional support for family members. Among midlife adults, support may be provided for those of both the
younger generation (children) and the older (grandparents). In a longitudinal
study of midlife women, Peterson (2002) shows that women who attained a
generative stance in life by the age of 43 reported greater investment 10 years
later in intergenerational roles, such as daughter and mother. Highly generative women in Petersons study reported less subjective burden in caring for
elderly parents and more knowledge about community elder care programs.
Peterson and Klohnen (1995) found that highly generative women who were
also mothers invested considerably more energy and commitment in parenting and showed an expanded radius of care (p. 20) compared with less generative mothers.
Generative parents actively promote their childrens education. In a largescale study of parents whose children were enrolled in a major metropolitan
school system in the United States, Nakagawa (1991) found that mothers and
fathers with high scores on a self-report measure of generativity tended to
be more involved in their childrens schooling than parents scoring lower.
Parents scoring high on generativity tended to help their children with their
homework more, showed higher levels of attendance at school functions, and
evidenced greater knowledge about what their children were learning and
doing in school, compared to parents scoring lower in generativity. In another
study of African-American and Euro-American parents, researchers found
that high levels of generativity were associated with valuing trust and communication with ones children and viewing parenting as an opportunity to
pass on values and wisdom to the next generation (Hart et al., 2001). Although Black and White parents showed some diVerences in their descriptions of their own approaches to parenting, generativity predicted the same
parenting qualities for both groups.
Two recent studies suggest that generativity may be associated with an authoritative parenting style. Peterson and colleagues (1997) found that middleaged parents of college students expressed more authoritative attitudes about
parenting if they were high in generativity. Pratt, Danso, Arnold, Norris, and
Filyer (2001) found that generativity among mothers of teenaged children
predicted authoritative styles, but generativity among fathers was unrelated to
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245
parenting style. Authoritative parenting combines an emphasis on high standards and discipline with a warm, child-centered, and caring approach to
raising children. Authoritative parents provide their children with a good deal
of structure and guidance, but they also give their children a strong voice
in making family decisions. In studies done primarily in the United States,
authoritative patterns of parenting have been consistently associated with
higher levels of moral development and greater levels of self-esteem (Maccoby
& Martin, 1983). In Peterson et al. (1997), authoritative parenting predicted
attitudinal similarity between parents and college-age children, and it was
negatively associated with parent/child conXict.
The role of generativity in family life can sometimes manifest itself in
surprising ways. For example, Kay (1998) conducted intensive interviews of
male Holocaust survivors to examine the ways in which they expressed generativity in their families. He found that these survivors, now in their 70s and
older, scored signiWcantly higher on self-report measures of generativity compared to a demographically matched sample of men. However, the survivors
viewed their generative contributions almost exclusively in terms of biological reproduction and providing Wnancial assistance for their children. They
were reluctant, by contrast, to form close emotional bonds with their families,
and they rarely felt comfortable sharing stories of their lives or passing down
family culture and belief systems to the next generation. Kay suggests that
these mens histories were so painful and devastating that they could not or
would not revisit their past in the presence of their family members. In a
related vein, Kotre and Kotre (1998) provide case examples of generativity
expressed in the refusal to pass on traditions or behaviors from the past. Kotre
and Kotre argue that in some instances generativity is best expressed by taking the role of an intergenerational buVer within the family. For example, in
a family with a history of abuse or addiction, a parent can decide that the
suVering ends here. By actively blocking the transmission of destructive
practices or beliefs from one generation to the next, a person can create a
more generative family environment and provide new hope for future growth
and the generation of more beneWcent meaning systems in the family.
246
M CA D A M S
points out. For Tolstoy, unhappy families deviate from the expected domestic
script of the 19th-century Russian elite. Anna leaves her husband to follow a
passionate but destructive aVair with Vronsky, resulting in overwhelming
public shame and her eventual suicide. Hers is a beautifully tragic story to
tell, a story about how a womans passion and narcissism leave her ostracized
from high society and eventually ruin her family. Writes Morson, romantic
destiny, the sense that one has been chosen for a special and tragic story, feeds
[Annas] narcissism (p. 836). By contrast, Levin and Kitty represent the
happy family, whose members Wnd their happiness in the mundane and
unstoried details of everyday life. In a deeply generative scene on the books
last page, Levin concludes that he now understands the meaning of his life,
minutes after gazing upon the face of his newborn son. For Tolstoy, happy
family life
is lived in the small and ordinary details. It is prosaic and undramatic and is
lived best when there is no story to tell. The reason that all happy families
resemble each other whereas each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way is
that unhappy families, like unhappy lives, are dramatic; they have a story and
each story is diVerent. But happy families and happy lives, Wlled with undramatic incidents, do not make a good story; and it is in this sense that they all
resemble each other. (Morson, 1995, p. 835)
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248
M CA D A M S
women in later life, stories about family provide threads of continuity for
their individual life stories (Pratt & Fiese, this volume). As Pratt and Norris
(1999) have noted, the life stories of older adults are often given coherence by
their sense of having learned important lessons from a more mature family
member or other adult Wgure from their earlier lives. Yet stories told about
families do not always play a beneWcent role in individual identity. In the
cases clinicians know best, family stories may be seen as the reasons for signiWcant problems in ones life (White & Epston, 1990). Family stories may
stiXe identity as much as they enhance it (Pratt & Fiese, this volume).
What kinds of family stories do highly generative people tell? Pratt et al.
(1999) asked adults to identify critical moral incidents in their own lives and
to tell those incidents as if they were telling them to an adolescent. The
respondents also completed a self-report measure of generativity. Adults who
scored high on the generativity measure told personal stories for adolescents
that tended to emphasize the development of their own values and important
lessons they had learned from their past, to a greater extent than did adults
scoring low in generativity. In addition, the narratives told by the highly generative adults tended to be rated by the readers of the accounts as more engaging and well-formed, compared to the stories told by less generative adults.
Kotre (2004) has argued that any generative community must include storytellers who are invested in passing down words of wisdom from one generation to the next. The data in Pratt et al. (1999) suggest that highly generative
adults may see family storytelling in this way. In telling personal stories to
an adolescent audience, highly generative adults tell coherent and engaging
stories about how they developed their own values and what lessons can be
taken from the experiences that they had growing up.
Between the years 1996 and 1998, my students and I interviewed 74 men
and women for a study of generativity and life stories among AfricanAmerican and Euro-American adults (see Hart et al., 2001; McAdams &
Bowman, 2001; McAdams et al., 2001, for details). The 74 were chosen from
a sample of over 260 adults between the ages of 35 and 65 years, approximately half African-American and half Euro-American, who completed a
series of questionnaires and surveys, including self-report measures of generativity. The 74 who were interviewed were chosen because they each scored
extremely high or extremely low on the generativity measures. The major aim
of the study was to compare and contrast the narrative identities of highly
generative and relatively nongenerative African-American and Euro-American
men and women. Each life story interview required between 2 and 3 hours of
time to complete. Toward the end of the interview protocol, each respondent
was given this request:
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249
Growing up, many of us hear stories in our families or from our friends that
stick with us, stories that we remember. Family stories include things parents
tell their children about the old days, their family heritage, family legends,
and so on. Part of what makes life fun, even in adulthood, involves friends and
families telling stories about themselves and about others. Try to identify one
story like this that you remember, one that has stayed with you. Tell me a little
bit about the story, why you like it or why you remember it, and what impact,
if any, you think it has had on your life.
250
M CA D A M S
investment in sharing the kinds of stories that build family solidarity and
warmth. Their memories of family life are bereft of incidents in which people
enjoyed the simple act of telling and listening to each others life tales.
A second set of diVerences pertains to the content of the family stories
told. To get a sense of the overall diVerence, contrast the following two
accounts, the Wrst of which is told by a highly generative 61-year-old woman
and the second by a 46-year-old man whose questionnaire responses put him
in the low-generativity group:
High generative: My grandmother, she told me about her escape from Russia,
and that was just probably the most phenomenal story of adventure and bravery. I dont know how she could do it; I couldnt. My grandfather had come to
America a year and a half or two years before and worked and sent her a ticket
back. . . . She had the baby, or maybe two of them by then. But they had to go
in an ox cart under the hay because they had no papers all across Europe and
be handed from people to people over the borders. They got to some port in
Germany where she did get on this big boat in steerage in the bottom with the
baby. And she arrived in the United States, New York, Ellis Island, and all she
had was a train ticket to South Bend, Indiana. . . . She was about 22 or 23, no
money, no food. And she said, People were so nice to me. When theyd see the
baby crying, theyd give him a piece of bread. [The story goes on to detail her
reunion with her husband and the happiness they experienced as a family.]
Low generative: My dad telling the sea story. My dad would tell stories about
trips, actually a more extended kind of adventure he had in the 1930s with my
uncle. They got jobs on a banana boat. I think it was based in Cuba at that
point. Cuba was open then, of course. So they did that for a while and then
they took a trip through Central America and ended up working their way
back, and spent some time in New Orleans, and then back to Chicago. . . . lots
of aspects of what went on at sea. Then going through a hurricane in the
Caribbean, and then in jungles. . . . It had a big eVect on me. As I mentioned
before, that became a model for my early years of what it meant to be a
man. . . .
The two stories share surface similarities. They are both stories about
adventure and survival. They both involve travel. In both cases, the participant remarks that the story had some kind of eVect on her or him: The highly
generative woman Wnds her grandmothers story inspiring, but she feels she
could never live up to the protagonists role; the less-generative man sees the
protagonist of his family story, his father, as a role model for masculinity.
Both stories involve signiWcant dangers: oppressive governments and hurricanes. A major diVerence between the two stories concerns gender. The former is a womans story about a female protagonist and domestic heroism; the
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251
latter is a mans story about his fathers and uncles exploits. But the highly
generative womans story contains three themes that are prevalent in many of
the family stories told by the highly generative adults, both men and women,
Black and White (and relatively scarce in the stories of less generative men
and women). These are the themes of suVering, growth, and human kindness.
In the current sample, highly generative adults were almost three times
more likely to describe a protagonists suVering and deprivation than were
less-generative adults. A total of 27 out of the 37 family stories from highly
generative adults (73%) contained the suVering theme, whereas only 8 of the
31 family stories from less generative adults described a protagonists suVering (26%). Stories described poverty, discrimination, disability, poor health,
and a host of other deprivations. In the preceding story, we see that suVering
eventually pays oV. The protagonist is reunited with her husband, and they
proceed to raise a family. By a 5-to-1 margin (32% versus 6%), highly generative adults, compared to less generative adults, told family stories in which
the protagonists suVering led directly to the expansion or growth of the self,
ones family, ones career, or some other aspect of the protagonists world. The
move from suVering to growth is similar to the redemption sequences that
McAdams et al. (1997) have identiWed as characteristic of the overall life stories told by highly generative adults. Finally, generative adults in the current
sample were eight times more likely than their less generative counterparts
(24% versus 3%) to tell family stories in which people provide help and care
for others or exhibit extraordinary acts of kindness. In the Wrst of the preceding stories, strangers give food to a hungry baby. In other family stories told
by highly generative adults, neighbors help each other out in tough economic
times, a woman tends to her sick sister, Whites help runaway Black slaves, an
aunt is especially nice to her nieces and nephews when they are forced to leave
their mother, and so on. Human kindness is often instrumental in the transformation of suVering into growth.
The results of my exploratory study of 68 family stories and their relation
to generativity are merely suggestive and in need of a more rigorous replication. Researchers need to conduct more formal tests of the hypothesis that
family stories of suVering, growth, and kindness are especially characteristic
of highly generative adults. But the results are consistent with past research
showing high levels of redemptive imagery in the life narratives of highly
generative adults (e.g., Colby & Damon, 1992; McAdams et al., 1997). The
intimate link between suVering and growth, furthermore, is arguably the
experiential core of the most basic expression of human generativity giving
birth. Even in our modern technological age, labor and delivery are painful
experiences for most pregnant women. But the suVering is necessary if new
252
M CA D A M S
CONCLUSION
Every family has its own unique narrative ecology. Stories told in and about
families function in a wide variety of ways. They provide entertainment; they
oVer opportunities for self-expression; they promote belief systems and exemplify character traits that members of the family value; they help to shape
individual and family identity. Family stories are sometimes employed in the
service of generativity. Stories are passed down from one generation to the
next, linking diVerent family members together within a socio-literary tradition. Adults construct stories and tell stories to promote the well-being of
future generations. This storytelling becomes part of the warm and supportive family life that highly generative adults seek to cultivate. Research has
shown that highly generative adults foster trust and commitment in family
relations, blend warmth and discipline in their parenting practices, are deeply
invested in their childrens education, and seek to pass on values and wisdom
to their children. Family storytelling provides valuable opportunities through
which highly generative adults are able to exert a positive and long-lasting
inXuence on children and on the family system as a whole.
Highly generative adults may favor certain kinds of family stories over
others. They may Wnd especially compelling those family narratives in which
the protagonist suVers through diYcult times, but the suVering pays oV in
growth, expansion, and the realization of a full family life. Family stories may
be Wlled with unsavory characters, mean-spirited and irresponsible uncles,
wayward aunts, fools, miscreants, and buVoons. But some of the characters,
some of the time, show remarkable acts of kindness. If they did not, suVering
could not possibly lead to growth. Family life should be fun and playful; families should provide us all with a safe haven from the relentless challenges and
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confusion of modern life. But from the standpoint of generativity, family life
is also serious business, for it is in the family that the greatest suVering and the
most stupendous growth and fulWllment in life will likely be experienced.
Highly generative adults seem to have a tacit understanding and appreciation
of this fact of family life. You can tell that from their stories.
ACKNOWLEDGMENT
The preparation of this chapter was aided greatly by a grant from the Foley
Family Foundation to establish the Foley Center for the Study of Lives at
Northwestern University. The study of life stories and generativity described
in the last part of the paper was funded by a grant to the author from the
Spencer Foundation. The author would like to thank Reginald Blount, Phil
Bowman, Jennifer Goldberg, Holly Hart, Amy Himsel, Renee Janz-Diamond,
Amy Kegley, Erin Kennedy, Kenya Key, Martha Lewis, Jane Maring, Nathania Montes, David McConville, Derek McNeil, Lakshi Ramanathan, Elizabeth Reyes, and Janet Shlaes for their assistance in various aspects of that
study.
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11
Pin-Curling Grandpas Hair
in the Comfy Chair: Parents Stories
of Growing Up and Potential Links
to Socialization in the Preschool Years
Barbara H. Fiese
Nicole L. Bickham
Syracuse University
Tell me a story about when you were little . . . This is a request heard often
by parents of young children. When asked if they ever talked about their
growing up experiences with their children, nine out of ten parents reported
that they had done so on several occasions. Six out of ten parents of preschoolers reported that they did so on at least a weekly basis (Fiese, Hooker,
Kotary, Schwagler, & Rimmer, 1995). But what do they talk about? In this
chapter we place family stories in the ecological context of child rearing. We
propose that parents use stories of their growing up experiences as opportunities for socialization and that these stories convey messages about being
close to others, doing good work, and striving for independence. Woven into
the fabric of everyday life, these stories can serve as guideposts for behavior,
providing children with rich images of their parents experiences as well as
more subtle nuances of what it means to be a member of a family.
To illuminate this process, we describe a study of 120 parents who were
asked to tell a story to their 4-year-old child about when they were growing
up. In examining socialization via family stories, we highlight variations in
story themes of both storyteller and listener. We propose that there is a developmental press in the thematic content of family stories. Second, as a process,
telling stories about growing up provides generational links. Many of the
stories include a description of family kinship ties and provide vibrant images
of family members who are important to understanding family history but
259
260
are removed from the childs everyday experiences. Family stories provide a
unique opportunity to examine both stability and change within the context
of the family system. Stories may serve to both preserve family identity across
generations, insuring continuity, as well as help members navigate developmental passages, reXecting the changing nature of family life. We also take
this opportunity to demonstrate how the study of family stories lends itself
well to the systematic integration of qualitative and quantitative research
methods.
Family stories are complex, due in part to the simultaneous existence of
two distinct layers to storiesthe act of storytelling and the content of the
story itself. The act of telling family stories provides an opportunity to connect generations as well as introduce new members to the family. Several
researchers have noted that during the early stages of relationship formation,
couples disclose accounts of unique as well as common personal experiences
as they face the task of creating a shared identity (VeroV, Sutherland, Chadiah, & Ortega, 1993; Wamboldt, 1999). In many cases, the parent generation may use introductory gatherings as opportunities to bring the potential son- or daughter-in-law into the fold of the family through stories told
about their future husband or wife. Much to the chagrin of the soon-to-be
bride or groom, these stories may include recountings of previous boyfriends
or girlfriends, times of success and failure, or just plain silly acts displayed
as a youngster. Though on the surface these stories may appear to function
purely as entertainment, they allow the novice family member to become
acquainted not only with their soon-to-be-betrothed but also members of the
family still to be introduced (e.g., distant uncles, grandparents, old boyfriends/girlfriends).
Family stories can be used to teach lessons as well as to initiate members
into the family. Miller and colleagues describe how parents of preschool-age
children remark on childrens transgressions and use these opportunities to
reinforce cultural norms of acceptable behavior (Miller, Wiley, Fung, &
Liang, 1997). Thorne, McClean, and Dasbach (this volume) suggest that
stories of parental transgressions provide opportunities for value learning in
adolescence as well. Pratt and colleagues have demonstrated that there are
explicit moral tones in the stories conveyed by grandparents to their grandchildren (Pratt, Norris, Arnold, & Filyer, 1999). Examples drawn from studies of early couple formation and lessons shared between grandparent and
grandchild highlight how family stories may serve as roadmaps of what to
expect in relationships and how to handle common challenges such as disappointments and moral dilemmas. Thus, stories can be used to engage members as well as to instruct them in family lore.
11.
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There are a variety of ways to analyze family stories, as evidenced in this volume. One approach is to consider the relative coherence of the narrative. Coherence may be an important marker of emotional resolution of a personal
event as well as reXective of how well the individual has been able to integrate
diVerent aspects of an experience into a synthesized whole (Fiese & SameroV,
1999). This process of integration and synthesis has been shown to be important in studies of attachment (Main & Goldwyn, 1984), identity formation
(Grotevant, 1993), and relationship satisfaction (Dickstein, St. Andre, SameroV, Seifer, & Schiller, 1999). The coherence of a narrative is proposed to reXect
the meaning-making process inherent in telling a story of personal relevance.
The thematic content of stories, on the other hand, may be more closely
linked to socialization. By focusing on the thematic content of stories it is
possible to identify enduring themes that are associated with creating an
integrated identity as well as themes that shift with developmental changes.
McAdams (this volume) describes diVerent storied themes that evolve across
the lifespan. The thematic content of stories has been proposed to reXect
intentions and motives (McAdams, 1993). Henry Murray (1938) catalogued
these themes based on stories told about cards depicting ambiguous visual
stimuli. Although originally identifying a multitude of motivational themes,
they have been distilled into two overarching constructs: agency and communion (Bakan, 1966). Typically described in the context of what motivates
adults to behave in the ways that they do, these themes revolve around strivings to be independent and autonomous and strivings to form close relationships. McAdams (this volume) has extended these core themes to include
strivings for generativity and investment in future generations. The bulk of
the narrative work that has been done on thematic content has focused on
adolescents and adults, with a particular focus on identity. Certainly, this
makes sense when considering how stories may be part and parcel of who we
are and how we come to be (McAdams, 1993). Implicit in a thematic emphasis is the notion that through the telling of stories and integration of experiences there are unifying themes that characterize personal identity. It would
be an egregious error to consider this as a solitary activity and one that is only
born when reaching adolescence. The stories we come to create are built not
only on our own personal experiences but also through an integration of the
stories that we have heard over many years.
There is a small literature on the thematic content of family stories. Martin and colleagues (Martin, Hagestad, & Diedrick, 1988) set out to identify
262
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PA R E N TS S TO R I E S O F G ROW I N G U P
263
broader context in which family stories are relayed. As we set out on this
analysis of family stories, we were sensitive to the fact that mothers and
fathers may diVer in how they approach the task of telling stories. We were
interested in identifying a catalogue of themes that would summarize the
stories that families told about their growing up experiences. If family stories
are used as one medium of conveying lessons then we expect those messages
to be compatible with the developmental task of the child receiving the story
as well as the cultural context of the storyteller. Because we were venturing
into relatively uncharted territory, we opted to take a qualitative approach in
detecting thematic content rather than relying on a priori categories. We recognize that the themes we identiWed may be subject to our personal biases.
However, as an initial foray we felt that this approach would allow for a more
extensive examination of potential and emerging themes.
In addition to identifying themes, we were also interested in whether the
content of the stories would diVer by gender of parent and/or child. Thus, we
used the themes identiWed in our qualitative analysis as categories that could
be subjected to more quantitative comparisons across groups.
The stories we describe were drawn from 120 families with 4-year-old children (56 boys and 64 girls). The families were recruited through area nursery
schools as part of a larger study on family traditions and intergenerational
family process. Twenty-Wve of the children were the only child in the family,
38 were Wrst-born with younger siblings, 39 were the youngest with older siblings, and 18 had both younger and older siblings. The sample was primarily
Caucasian (91%) with the remainder Black (4%), Latino (2%), and Asian
(2%). The families were primarily middle and upper middle class with an
average Hollingshead (1975) 4-factor score of 56 distributed across four
classes (I [upper middle] 61%, II 34%, III 4%, IV [unemployed] 1%). The
average age of the mothers was 34 years, and the average age of the fathers was
36 years.
STORY-TELLING TASK
Each parent was presented with a 3 5" index card detailing the following
instructions: Tell your child a story about when you were growing up . . .
when you were a little girl (boy). Although the other parent was present
264
when the story was being told, each parent was asked to tell the story directly
to the target child. We realize that the procedure itself may have been somewhat artiWcial and may not reXect the spontaneous stories told in everyday
life. However, we did Wnd that in some cases these were stories that had been
told before. In several instances, the parent would preface the story with,
Should I tell the one about . . . ? indicating that it was a story the child had
already heard. Children would also indicate recognition of the story by Wlling
in details or egging the parents on. Certainly, not every story was one that had
been told before. However, there appears to be some evidence that telling
stories about growing up experiences is not an entirely novel behavior (Fiese
et al., 1995; Miller & Moore, 1989). In our own study the following example serves to illustrate:
Mother: Did I ever tell you the time we went on vacation? And we were playing. And did I tell you this before?
Child: Yeah, you ran down the hill and you fell.
Mother: I did, and I had that glass bottle.
Child: And it had a sharp edge.
It is evident in this case that not only had the child heard the story before, he
could Wll in details that were important in following the storyline.
QUALITATIVE STRATEGY
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265
TABLE 11.1
Themes IdentiWed in Family Stories
Theme
Working DeWnition
Relationships/AYliation
Family
Story includes being close with or engaging in activities with
family members. Often includes activities noted by spending
time together.
Non-family
Being close or spending time with nonfamily members, includes
pets. May include several activities or just spending time together.
Family Life
Roles are assigned through work or place in family (e.g., parent as
Roles
authority Wgure or youngest sibling).
Something that occurs on a regular basis. Often preceded by
Routines
phrases such as always, we used to, every
we would.
Work
Narrator explains how something works or how something is done
How Things Work
(e.g., method of Wshing, how to make a pie).
Story focuses on an accomplishment or the importance of an
Achievement
achievement (e.g., working hard at something), regardless of the
outcome.
Independence
Child acts independently or seeks independence. May be implied
Autonomy
(spending solitary time) or explicit (defying authority Wgures) or
going beyond what would be expected of a child of a particular age
(e.g., riding bus home alone when 5 years old).
Doing something on ones own or engaging in joint activity that
Risk Taking
leads to or could lead to child being harmed.
Getting Into Trouble Doing something that resulted in the child being punished or
reprimanded.
THEMATIC LANDSCAPE
We reviewed 220 stories; 109 were told by mothers and 111 by fathers. The
number of themes evident in each story were relatively evenly distributed
across the sample, with 25% of the stories including one theme, 25% two
266
FIG. 11.1.
11.
PA R E N T S S TO R I E S O F G ROW I N G U P
267
themes, 25% three themes, and 25% containing four or more themes. Figure 11.1 depicts the percentage of stories containing the themes that we
identiWed.
STORY ORIENTATION: PEOPLE AND PLACES
In addition to content themes, we Wrst address the issue of how the parents
approached the task and structured the story to engage the child. Researchers who study parent-child reminiscing point out that there are distinct
styles of engaging children in narrative tasks (e.g., Fivush, Bohanek, Robertson, & Duke, this volume; Peterson & McCabe, this volume). Thus we
expected individual diVerences in how parents approached the storytelling
task. Approximately half of the parents took the childs perspective into
account when recounting their childhood experiences. Mothers and fathers
were just as likely to incorporate the childs perspective, whether told to sons
or daughters. There were multiple ways that parents would incorporate the
childs perspective into the story. The over-arching strategy was to use leading phrases such as, remember when you . . . There were several variations
that we found interesting in this regard. Close to one third of the stories
included reference to geographical locations to orient the child to the story.
The locations ranged from recognizable landmarks (e.g., Niagara Falls) to
sites of family signiWcance (e.g., a summer house). Parents also used kinship
ties as a means to engage children in the story, highlighting how members
of the family were related to each other. The following excerpt includes several of these orientation features.
Father: Remember when we went walking with Grandpa?
Child: Yeah.
Father: Well, when I was a little boy, I used to go walking with my grandpa all
the time and in fact we used to go on walking trips. I used to go walking with my Dad, whos your grandpa, and uhm . . . remember when
we went down to the pond?
Child: Yeah.
Father: Do you remember that? The pond behind Grandma and Grandpas
house?
Child: Yeah.
Father: Well when I was a little boy, every Thanksgivingand thats what we
had last week, remember? We had Thanksgiving. We had a big dinner
at Grandma and Grandpas house. Every Thanksgiving when it was cold
enough we would go skating on the pond and we would play hockey.
Remember? Playing hockey?
268
In this excerpt, the father engages the child through recalling people and
places that were familiar to the child even though the story itself was about a
nonshared experience.
Relationships, Roles, and Routines
The most predominant theme was aYliation. Close to half (43%) of the stories included some aspect of shared activities or being close to family or nonfamily members. Stories with aYliative themes ranged from a focus on shared
activities (e.g., sharing a tent with brothers and sisters) to explicit statements
about feeling good when with family members. When we examined the likelihood that the aYliation stories would be told by mothers or fathers we
found some interesting results. Mothers were more likely, overall, to tell a
story that included an aYliation theme with family members, c2 (218) =
3.70, p < .05. Many of the stories told by mothers described feeling close to
family members. In the following story, the mothers fondness for her grandfather is revealed:
This is true. This really happened. When I was a little girl and I lived with my
grandfather and grandmother. Grandpa had a big comfy chair as comfy as that
chair over there and he used to snuggle down in that chair and I would walk
around in front of my grandfather and look at him and he would know that I
wanted to crawl up in his lap and you know how that feels? So I would crawl
up in his lap and he would hold me in his lap and he would tell me stories. And
you know what one of my favorite things to do was to comb Grandpas hair.
One day I decided to comb Grandpas hair and I took my little hair brush and
comb and I stood up behind Grandpa and his comfy chair and I started to
comb his hair and he said, Oh that feels so nice, and I combed his hair and
he didnt know it but I had some little ponytail holders and some pins and I
started making pin curls in grandpas hair and I put little curls all on the top of
his head and he fell asleep. And when he woke up he had the prettiest curls you
ever saw all over his head and he didnt even mind. Wasnt that nice?
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PA R E N TS S TO R I E S O F G ROW I N G U P
269
these are often considered key ingredients of a healthy family (Parke & Buriel,
1998). Another aspect of family organization that was often included in stories marked by closeness was the mention of family roles and routines. Taken
together, these three themes appear to form a constellation that reXects trust
in relationships as well as how family life is organized around roles and routines. An example serves to illustrate:
At night, sometimes, Grandpa Franklin would come into me and Justines, you
know Aunt Justine, well hed come into our bedroom and sing us some songs.
And me and Justine shared a room, hed go into our room, and we would have
one bed, just like you and Sam share a room; we would each be laying in our
bed and he would sing us some silly songs. And wed say Please daddy, please
sing There was an old lady who swallowed a Xy. And that was our favorite,
and do you know why we liked that song? You know that song . . . there was
an old lady who swallowed a Xy, I dont know why she swallowed a Xy . . . Well
Grandpa would tickle every time he got to that part, it tickled inside her. Has
Grandpa ever done that to you when he sung that song to you? Well wed be in
our beds and Grandpa would come in and me and Justine would be in our beds
and hed reach his hands and go and wiggled and jiggled and tickled inside
her. And hed tickle us when he used to sing those songs. And then hed give
us a big kiss and hug goodnight. And that was a nice way to end the day.
270
Table 11.2
Presence of Story Themes by Parent-Child Dyad
Mother
Percent of Stories a
Relationships
AYliation
Non-Family
Family Life
Roles
Routines
Roles & Routines Combined
Work
How Things Work
Achievement
Work & Achievement Combined
Independence
Autonomy
Risk Taking
Getting Into Trouble
Trouble & Autonomy Combined
Father
Daughter
Son
Daughter
Son
46
02
39
08
32
08
28
13
38
41
64
11
38
46
24
31
49
18
32
41
08
05
12
17
17
28
24
18
33
26
15
36
10
07
03
16
12
06
05
18
22
20
05
34
17
21
09
38
by mothers to daughters were the least likely to include work themes. A story
told by a father to his son serves to illustrate the work stories:
Father: When I was a little boy, we had a house that was on a corner, we had
180 feet of sidewalk to shovel. And you know what? I had to do one
side. Every time it snowed I had to get up early and go out and shovel
one side. And I shoveled the sidewalk that was on Maple Street. Everybody else had to shovel the side that was on Oak Avenue. Now, I had to
shovel 60 feet, and nobody else had to shovel so much. You know why I
had to shovel 60 feet, and nobody else shoveled so much? cause I would
get up early and there was a lot of people who used to walk down Maple
Street where I shoveled and I had to get it done early, cause otherwise it
would all get packed down, and it would be hard and slippery and you
couldnt shovel it and it was really tough, but if I got early on it and I
got it all done it was really easy, and I got the whole thing shoveled and
it would be done in no time at all. So, I got all my shoveling done for
the whole day before I went to school. But nobody helped me. I had to
11.
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271
In this account, the father describes not only his hard work but also the
tools (a steel shovel) that are necessary to complete the task. Indeed, one quarter of the fathers stories included reference to tools or lengthy descriptions of
how things work.
Being Independent: Getting Into Trouble
A third broad category we identiWed were stories that had to do with being
independent and striving for autonomy. In many cases, the striving for independence included risk taking which ultimately got the child in trouble. We
totaled the presence or absence of autonomy, risk taking, and getting into
trouble to create an independence score. We found that fathers, overall, were
more likely to tell stories that included being independent, risk taking, and
getting into trouble (F (3, 216) = 3.06, p < .03). Fathers were twice as likely
to tell stories about independence and over three times as likely to tell stories
that involved some type of risk taking. The following story serves to illustrate:
When I was a little boy a long time ago, I used to be very hazardous. When I
used to get together with my brothers, daddys daddy he would always tell us
dont cause any trouble. Ok, but I always used to get into trouble. I remember
one summer I got in so much trouble that I wasnt allowed to go outside and
play. I ended up going through a window. I got hit by a car. I got my teeth
knocked out. This is all in one summer. My daddy wasnt very happy with me.
I told him, dont worry about it, Im OK. He says, well when you get older and
you become a daddy and youll know why I worry. I never understood that
too much until you guys came along. But I didnt care then. So I just went out
and got hit by another car. So thats why, what do I say when you are out riding your bike? What do I say? Watch both ways right? Thats my story and Im
still alive.
272
The stories that parents have to tell about their growing up experiences can be
thought of as reXecting the diVerent branches of family life as well as imparting messages consistent with socialization in the context of American middleclass Caucasian families. We suspect that other themes may be evident under
diVerent contexts of child raising. Indeed, Miller points out that mothers
in Chinese cultures are more likely to emphasize personal transgressions in
recounting past events of their children, and mothers in America are more
likely to focus on their childs independence and personality characteristics
(Miller et al., 1997). Other researchers have noted diVerences in conversational content, with Western cultures more likely to talk about individual
accomplishments and Asian cultures to focus on shared family experiences
(Martini, 1996). As Wang (this volume) points out, cultures may diVer in
regard to emphasis on learning from past experiences. Within a cultural context where ancestors are revered and family history is considered an essential
ingredient in development, personal stories of growing up may take on characteristics beyond those found in our primarily upper middle-class American
sample. Certainly, more research is warranted to include storytelling across
cultures to focus on similarities as well as diVerences. Our discussion, thus, is
limited to the overarching themes found in this sample of stories collected
from two-parent families in middle-class America.
The ways in which the parents approached the task of storytelling is consistent with the work reported by researchers who have studied parent-child
reminiscence (e.g., Fivush et al., this volume; Peterson & McCabe, this volume). Consistent with other reports, we found that there were individual
diVerences in how parents engaged in the narrative task such that some parents were more elaborative and used cues of orientation (geography, kinship
ties, common experiences) to elaborate on story themes. It is interesting to
note that these individual diVerences have been previously noted when the
task is aimed at encouraging the child to recount an experience. In the case of
growing up stories the task is aimed at the parent telling the story to the child.
As Fung and Miller (this volume) point out, the narrative environment is regulated by the role of listener as well as the teller.
11.
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We grouped our Wndings across three thematic categories: family relationships, work, and independence. We Wnd it interesting that these summarizations are consistent with Eriksons Wrst four ages of man that span the
developmental period from birth to the early school years. The age of trust is
characterized by close relationships and feelings of inner goodness. Upon
review of Eriksons account of this pivotal initial stage it is interesting to note
that he describes building trust in relationships through everyday parent care
and responsiveness that is embedded in larger cultural institutions aimed at
providing a sense of belonging and connectedness to the ritual practice of
many (p. 250). Family relationship stories were often framed in the context
of everyday routines and special family rituals. Bedtime stories, baking cookies with Grandma, and the summer camping trip provided opportunities to
comment on not only the organization of family life but also on how routine
events provide a stage for close and meaningful relationships.
Previous research has focused on narratives of close relationships as they
pertain to attachment security (Oppenheim, this volume). The study of
family stories, as distinct from story-stem techniques, is not inconsistent with
Wndings relating attachment security and narrative practices in that positive
accounts of relationships may be expressed both through narrative and
through practice. The study of family stories is distinct, however, by inclusion
of multiple aspects of family life. Individuals may represent the trustworthiness of relationships in their cognitive working models (Main & Goldwyn,
1984), but when cast as a narrative about family members and group interaction, the setting and organizational features of the family become foreground.
We did not examine the content of these growing up stories in relation to
how parents and children interact with each other. However, there is evidence
to suggest that narrative accounts of family events are related to how families
interact with each other as a group (Dickstein et al., 1999; Fiese & Marjinsky,
1999). In this regard, family stories reXect not only whether relationships are
sources of reward but also clues as to how such relationships are played out in
everyday life.
Our Wndings that mothers were more likely to include themes of closeness
in the context of family routines is consistent with previous reports on women
and their roles as kinkeepers in the family. Previous research has focused on
how women are more likely to carry out family routines and shoulder the
responsibility of keeping the family heritage. It may be that family stories are
one way that young girls begin to be indoctrinated into the family system of
kinkeepers. Broad characterizations of gender diVerences have focused on the
contrast between relationships and work. Our Wndings are consistent with
274
these depictions but also expand the emphasis. It is not just that mothers were
more likely to talk about relationships than fathers and that daughters were
more likely to hear these stories, but also that relationships are framed in the
context of everyday routines and special rituals that may provide a sense of
belonging related to individual identity (Fiese, 1992).
Eriksons second and third ages focus on autonomy and initiative. He
describes the emotional life of the preschooler as resolving tensions between
acting on ones own and feelings of guilt and doubt. In the stories told by parents, particularly fathers, there was an emphasis on acting on ones own with
a tension of getting into trouble. We suspect that these stories may have been
told as warnings to children. There is reason to expect that boys are more
likely overall to take physical risks and it is likely that, if caught, there would
be repercussions of some sort. In the stories of risk taking and autonomy
fathers appeared to be relaying themes of caution, recognizing that their
oVspring may be engaging in very similar adventures. Fathers, overall, highlighted the potential for danger in their family stories and interestingly boys
as well as girls were as likely to hear such stories.
Eriksons fourth age focuses on industry. In this age he describes the childs
interest and ability to handle tools and technology. We found it interesting
that in the stories told about work and striving for success there was often
mention of tools and explanations of how things work. Fathers were twice as
likely as mothers to include accounts of how things work.
Linking story content with Eriksons ages of man, even on a post-hoc
basis, highlights the potential enduring nature of these themes and their
potential to be part of the socialization process in early childhood. There is
another aspect of these stories that may also reXect not only the ways in
which there are common challenges across the life span but how family
organization fosters personal meaning in everyday life. We found it very
interesting that the second most prevalent theme, after family aYliation,
was the depiction of routines. As is the case with stories, family routines
may be multilayered and reXect not only acts but also a meaning-making
process within the family. Fiese and colleagues have made the distinction
between routines of daily living and rituals in family life (Fiese et al., 2002).
Whereas routines may be relatively perfunctory and rarely thought about
once they are completed, rituals possess a symbolic component that emotionally connects family members. In our study, we illustrated the routine
theme by reference to a regular bedtime activity. This story may relay to the
child not only the predictability of daily routines but also that these activities provide an opportunity to reaYrm close family relationships. Heard
over and over again, stories of routines may accentuate feelings of belong-
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ingness and oVer signposts to the child, signifying This is what it means to
be a member of our family.
APPLICATIONS AND FUTURE DIRECTIONS
Educators and clinicians alike may beneWt from the use of family stories. Previous authors have reported employing college students to collect family
stories via their grandparents. Early childhood educators may follow suit by
enlisting the aid of teachers and parents in sharing childhood stories. These
stories may serve to illustrate common developmental phenomena as well
as unique cultural variations. For clinicians, there is a long-standing heritage
in the use of storytelling to promote change. What may be unique, from our
perspective, is the possibility to include dyadic storytelling between parent
and child as part of a therapeutic process.
We consider this an initial eVort to examine how family stories may be part
of socialization in early childhood. If these stories do reXect important developmental phenomena it will be important to compare themes across diVerent
ages. It may be that themes of personal identity may not be cemented until
early adulthood. Longitudinal data would allow for a closer examination of
whether there are stable themes within a family or whether the themes change
based on age of children. A glaring omission in this work has been an inclusion of the childs perspective on these stories. To date, we do not have a clear
picture of what the child is gaining (if anything) by hearing these stories. Furthermore, does it matter whether children hear the same story over and over
again, or is frequency of storytelling overshadowed by the themes inherent in
the stories? We would like to see the context of family stories expanded to
include direct links between story themes and child behavior.
ACKNOWLEDGMENT
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Miller, P. J., & Moore, B. B. (1989). Narrative conjunctions of caregiver and child: A comparative perspective on socialization through stories. Ethos, 17, 4364.
Miller, P. J., Wiley, A. R., Fung, H., & Liang, C. (1997). Personal storytelling as a medium of
socialization in Chinese and American families. Child Development, 68, 557568.
Murray, H. (1938). Explorations in personality. New York: Oxford University Press.
Nussbaum, J. F., & Bettini, L. M. (1994). Shared stories of the grandparentgrandchild relationship. International Journal of Aging and Human Development, 39, 6780.
Parke, R. D., & Buriel, R. (1998). Socialization in the family: Ethnic and ecological perspectives. In W. Damon (Ed.), Handbook of child psychology (Vol. 3, pp. 463552). New York:
Wiley.
Peterson, C., & McCabe, A. (1994). A social interactionist account of developing decontextualized narrative skill. Developmental Psychology, 30, 937948.
Pratt, M. W., Norris, J., Arnold, M. L., & Filyer, R. (1999). Generativity and moral development as predictors of value socialization narratives for young persons across the adult lifespan: From lessons learned to stories shared. Psychology and Aging, 14, 414426.
Reese, E., Haden, C. A., & Fivush, R. (1993). Mother-child conversation about the past: Relationships of style and memory over time. Cognitive Development, 8, 403430.
Rosenthal, C. J., & Marshall, V. W. (1988). Generational transmission of family ritual. American Behavioral Scientist, 31, 669684.
Taylor, S. J., & Bogdan, R. (1998). Introduction to qualitative research methods (3rd ed.). New
York: John Wiley & Sons, Inc.
VeroV, J., Sutherland, L., Chadiah, L. A., & Ortega, R. M. (1993). Predicting marital quality
with narrative assessments of marital experience. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 55,
326337.
Wamboldt, F. S. (1999). Co-constructing a marriage: Analyses of young couples relationship
narratives. In B. H. Fiese, A. J. SameroV, H. D. Grotevant, F. S. Wamboldt, S. Dickstein,
& D. L. Fravel (Eds.), The stories that families tell: Narrative coherence, narrative interaction,
and relationship beliefs. Monograph of the Society for Research in Child Development, 64(2),
Serial No. 257 (pp. 3751). Malden, MA: Blackwell.
12
The Cultural Context
of Parent-Child Reminiscing:
A Functional Analysis
Qi Wang
Cornell University
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ents who converse in a more elaborate, detailed manner tend to have children
who remember more information over time. Some researchers further maintain that parent-child reminiscing serves important functions beyond facilitating memory development: It is a primary channel through which children
learn how to formulate stories about themselves and further develop an enduring self-concept; it is also a crucial means by which children come to understand the social signiWcance of memory sharing (Fivush, 1994; Nelson, 1993).
Does parent-child reminiscing serve the same functions in other cultures?
Psychological and anthropological studies indicate that people in diVerent
cultures show varied orientations toward autonomy versus relatedness in their
cognition, emotion, and social behavior, orientations that are crystallized in
their cultural heritages, particularly related to the conception of self hood
(Geertz, 1973; Markus & Kitayama, 1991; Triandis, 1989; Wang & Brockmeier, 2002). The prevailing social orientation and view of the self in a particular culture may play a paramount role in determining the purposes for which
parents converse with their children about personal experiences from the past.
Empirical data have revealed marked cultural diVerences in the structural organization and thematic content of parent-child reminiscing (Miller, Fung, &
Mintz, 1996; Miller, Wiley, Fung, & Liang, 1997; Mullen & Yi, 1995; Wang,
Leichtman, & Davies, 2000; Wang, 2001a). Such diVerences may be mapped
onto the functional variation in everyday uses of memory across cultures.
The current emphasis on the functional aspect of sharing memory narratives reXects a general interest among philosophers and psychologists in the
functions of autobiographical memory. Studies have examined memory
functions from diVerent perspectives in areas of developmental, cognitive,
social, personality, and clinical research and have identiWed a variety of uses
ranging from self deWnition, relationship maintenance, and behavior guidance (e.g., Baddeley, 1988; Neisser, 1988; Pillemer, 1998). This chapter analyzes the cultural context of parent-child reminiscing from a functional perspective, using the three major functions of autobiographical memory
self, social, and directiveas a framework. I Wrst brieXy review theories of
memory functions that researchers have proposed based primarily on data of
Western populations. Then I discuss the various ways that culture may
shape each memory function and how that may result in diVerent contents and styles of family memory sharing. The discussion focuses on EuroAmerican and Chinese families, analyzing conversational excerpts collected
in our past studies of parent-child reminiscing in the two cultures.1 Build1 These conversations were collected in the cited empirical studies. They were not presented
in previously published papers except otherwise noted.
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ing upon the empirical data, I demonstrate that the same memory functions
appear in nuanced versions across cultures and are manifested in everyday
personal storytelling, which creates diVerent cultural contexts of parentchild reminiscing.
The uses of memory give reasons for memory to persist. Many contemporary
researchers have emphasized the functions of autobiographical memory in
shaping the processes and consequences of remembering (Bluck & Alea,
2002; Bruce, 1989; Conway & Pleydell-Pearce, 2000; Hyman & Faries,
1992; Pillemer, 1998; Ross, 1989; Singer & Salovey, 1993). According to the
functional view, both encoding and retrieval of personal information strongly
depend on the structures of mental schemata containing an individuals
implicit self-theories, attitudes, and beliefs. Memories that are not consistent
with or functional to current goals are eventually either reconstructed or forgotten. Some researchers further underscore the importance of identifying
the primary functions of autobiographical memory, claiming that the major
purposes memory serves may directly aVect the organization of and access to
the memory system (Baddeley, 1988; Hyman & Faries, 1992; Neisser, 1988;
Robinson & Swanson, 1990).
Taking an adaptive evolutionary perspective, Nelson (1993, 1996) makes
an explicit distinction between the function of autobiographical memory
and other, earlier established (in development and evolution) memory systems. She contends that, through the medium of language, shared memory
narrative gives rise to an autobiographical memory system, which, once
established, serves as an important device for social solidarity and a necessary ingredient in the human concept of the self. Pillemer (1998, 2001) further elaborates on the various functions of remembering and recounting
personal event memories. In his theorization, adaptive functions entail the
real-world usefulness of memory in everyday life. Remembering and recounting past events, particularly those that are highly intense (e.g., trauma),
serve emotional or therapeutic functions. By learning from the past about
what is to be avoided in the future, one beneWts from the directive functions
of memory. And Wnally, narrative reconstruction of the past gives rise to the
believability and emotionality of a memory and makes possible its essential
communicative functions. Similarly, Robinson and Swanson (1990) suggest
that autobiographical memory serves at least four functions: interpretation
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C:
M:
C:
M:
C:
M:
C:
M:
C:
M:
C:
M:
C:
M:
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Note that this Chinese mother-child pair indeed referred to fewer people
(i.e., mother and child) in their memory conversation than did the American
mother-child pair described earlier (i.e., mother, child, and Nana). However,
the American conversation focused more on what the child did (accomplished) in the past event, whereas the Chinese conversation focused more on
the activities of the we group. Both events were situated in a social context,
with the American child portrayed as a courageous little heroine and the Chinese child an integral part of a coordinated social unit.
These two revealing cases suggest that the self-function of autobiographical memory manifests in varied forms during parent-child reminiscing, which,
in turn, sustains the development of a particular mode of self-construct corresponding with the prevailing ideas of self hood in a given culture. Conversations that depict the child as a protagonist in coherent, elaborate, detailed
stories of the past highlight the importance of a unique autobiographical history in constructing an autonomous, independent self. In contrast, conversations that aim at getting correct information from the child and de-center the
focus of the past event on a collective group downplay the use of memory to
construct ones unique personal history. Instead, they situate the child in a
nexus of social roles, facilitating the development of a relational, interdependent self.
In relation to the social function, the extent to which memory and memorysharing serve to strengthen interpersonal ties may vary, depending on how
social boundaries are deWned and sustained in a given culture. In Euro-American culture, which promotes an independent self, individuals generally perceive themselves as separate relative to others, including signiWcant others
such as family members. To establish emotional intimacy or to maintain
social relations often requires not only desire but also eVort from all parties
involved. Sharing personal memories with others creates an optimal context
where such bonding can take place and take shape. It often elicits strong
empathic and emotional responses that serve to deepen the intimacy between
the conversational partners. Memory sharing in the family often occurs naturally at any place and any timedinner table, bathtub, pretend play, and
bedtime, during which parents and children co-construct a context of shared
experiences and further, shared thoughts and feelings. It is therefore an eVective and relatively eVortless way to strengthen emotional bonding between
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Very sad. The mother seemed satisWed, Xuexue is a good child. You understand that you made a mistake (Wang, 2001a, p. 712).
Interestingly, Wang (2001a) found that when a conversation involved a
social conXict between the child and a signiWcant other, Chinese mothers
(32%) were more likely than American mothers (5%) to provide a resolution
that helped to restore the damaged relationship. The following two conversational excerpts illustrate such a diVerence. The Wrst one is between an American mother and her 3-year-old daughter about an angry incident involving
the childs older brother:
Mother (M):
Child (C):
M:
C:
M:
C:
M:
C:
M:
C:
M:
C:
M:
C:
M:
C:
M:
C:
M:
C:
M:
C:
Remember last night when you got very upset with Noah?
Yeah.
What happened?
I dont know.
He took your Pokemon ball . . .
Yeah!
Out of the toy drawer. Why did you get so upset?
Because . . . he took my Pokemon ball!
Did he think it was his?
Yeah!
And you thought it was yours?
It was mine.
Yeah. Are you sure?
Yeah.
Did he give it back to you?
No!
No. Im sorry that happened. It made you very upset.
Yeah.
Does that happen to you a lot?
Yeah.
Does Noah take your things? It must be hard being the youngest
one in the family. Is it hard? Or do you like it?
Its hard.
Here the mother, while sympathetic and responsive to the childs feelings,
did not intend to resolve the conXict between the child and her older brother.
Although such a social exchange may help to strengthen the relationship
between the conversational partners involved, it seems not to facilitate any
reconciliation with the third party.
The second conversation about an angry episode was between a Chinese
mother and her 3-year-old daughter:
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Mother (M):
Child (C):
M:
C:
M:
C:
M:
C:
M:
C:
M:
C:
M:
C:
M:
C:
289
Did we go mountain-climbing?
We did.
Who carried you up to the hill?
I dont know.
Who carried you the longest? Think hard.
Papa.
What did we do after coming down the hill?
I dont know.
Why do you always say I dont know? Think hard. Did we go
boat-rowing with Huzi brother?
Yes.
What did you want to do taking oV your shoes?
To step into the water. Papa didnt let me.
You were mad and cried, right?
Yes.
Papa was afraid you might catch a cold. He let you later, right?
Right.
Here the Chinese conversation was focused on reestablishing the relationship between the child and her perpetrator father who caused her a negative
emotion. The mother Wrst reminded the child how good her father was to her
(i.e., carrying her up to the hill) and then explained the good intention of her
father for not granting her wish (i.e., caring for her health). She further
emphasized what the father did eventually (i.e., allowing the child to step into
the water) and acquired consensus from the child. Little attention was paid to
the relationship between the actual conversational partners.
Thus, memory sharing in Euro-American and Chinese families serves the
social function in seemingly diVerent ways. American parents frequently initiate joint reminiscing, using it as an eVective means to develop and reinforce
emotional bonding with their children. The context of memory sharing is
often exclusive, focusing on the ongoing relationship between the conversational partners. Although the conversations often contain references to other
people and sometimes address interpersonal conXict between the child and a
third party, their central theme is the emotional exchange between the two
conversational partners who show concerns, articulate feelings, express sympathies, and develop intimacy.
In contrast, Chinese parents are less concerned with sharing experiences,
thoughts, and feelings with their children for the purpose of relationship
maintenance or extension. Their commentary on childrens feeling states
often intends to teach the child a lesson, rather than to help the child
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articulate and understand the emotion. Such conversations help to deWne the
childs right place in a nexus of relationships and, thereby, reinforce existing
social orders. The context of parent-child reminiscing tends to be inclusive,
paying great attention to the roles of signiWcant others who are not present
during the conversation. When a conversation invokes a social conXict between the child and a third party, Chinese parents often provide resolutions
to restore the relationship. Instead of making emotional connections between
the conversational partners, memory sharing in this case is used for reconciliation of the child with a signiWcant other and, thus, for the good of the larger
collective.
Finally, pertaining to the directive function, cultures may diVer in how much
they value the moral, social, and intellectual importance attached to past
events. In Chinese culture there is traditionally a great emphasis on history
and respect for the past, where learning implies full knowledge of the precedents of a past age (Nakamura, 1964, p. 205). Individuals are encouraged to
learn from experiences of the past lived by themselves, others, and their ancestors. The long-lasting inXuence of the Confucian fundamental concept of ren
( ), the supreme virtue of benevolence, moral vitality, and a sensitive concern for others, further gives the past its ultimate moral purpose. An individual is not born with but must learn to become ren, which is regarded as the
highest purpose of life and possible for anyone who seeks it in the Confucian
belief system. The ren pursuit requires self-reXection (zi-xing,
), an essential practice that urges individuals to examine their past mistakes on a daily
basis for the purpose of perfecting the self. Applying to childrearing, Chinese
parents and other socialization agents often unwittingly or deliberately draw
upon past events to convey moral messages to children, such as obedience to
authority, proper conduct, and a sense of belonging (Fang & Chen, 2001;
Hsu, 1953; Miller et al., 1997; Wang et al., 2000). Note that recollections
under these circumstances often focus on negative experiences of the individual or the child so that a lesson can be learned or taught.
Research has shown that didactic talk, where parents bring about the
childs past transgressions and explicitly instruct the child to observe the rules
and to behave properly in the future, is predominant in memory conversations of Asian parents and children. It is commonly observed in both semistructured parent-child reminiscing (Wang et al., 2000; Wang, 2001a) and
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naturally occurring family conversations (Miller et al., 1996, 1997; Mullen &
Yi, 1995). The following excerpt from a dinner-table conversation of a Chinese family demonstrates the characteristics of such a directive function of
memory sharing.2 The dinner conversation started with a discussion about a
transgression of the 4-year-old son, Bao Bao:
Mother (M):
Father (F):
M:
Child (C):
M:
C:
M:
C:
M:
C:
M:
C:
M:
C:
M:
C:
M:
C:
M:
F:
M:
F:
M:
Bao Bao, did you tell papa what you did wrong today?
He made mistake again?
Did you tell Papa? Huh?
(makes noise, sounds like yes)
Huh?
Already told Papa.
You already told Mama, right?
Right.
Did you tell Papa? Papa doesnt know.
No.
What happened to you at Aunty Lees house?
Bao Bao didnt want to go in.
Hmm . . . you were at the door and didnt want to go in. And
then what?
Didnt play with Edward.
Hmm . . . you didnt want to play with Edward. Hmm . . . anything else?
At the staircase, didnt say bye-bye.
Hmm . . .
Didnt close the door properly.
Hmm . . . Did you hear, Papa?
I heard. Bao Bao told Papa already.
Already told Papa?
Papa already knew. Next time (Bao Bao) will behave better, right?
Next time dont make mistakes, okay?
As illustrated, even though Bao Bao initially seemed reluctant to talk about
what he did wrong that day, his mother insisted that he recount to his father
his every inappropriate behavior during a visit to a friends house. Under
his mothers prompts, Bao Bao did a wonderful job in his confession. This
family conversation served a directive function where, by making the child
reXect on his own past transgressions, the parents intended to install proper
2 The family participated in an ongoing longitudinal study that examines eVects of early
parent-child interaction on the development of memory, self, and emotion across preschool
years. Mothers recorded their family dinner-table conversations monthly over a 6-month
period.
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behavioral conduct in the child. The past event was portrayed with a moral
signiWcance that goes beyond the present reminiscing context and projects its
inXuence into the future.
Nothing comparable was observed in memory conversations between EuroAmerican parents and their children. Contrasting to Asian parents, American
parents rarely discuss childrens past transgressions for the purpose of correction, nor do they explicitly evaluate or criticize childrens rule-violating
behavior at the possible risk of damaging childrens self-esteem. Miller and
colleagues (1996, 1997) observed that American parents, in the rare instances
when they acknowledged the childs past transgressions, tended to downplay
the childs wrongdoing and to tell the story in a humorous, nonserious manner. For example, an American mother narrated a story about her 2-year-old
daughter who wrote on the wall with a key and then tried to evade responsibility for her misdeed by falsely blaming her sister. After telling the story in
front of the child, the older sister, and a visitor, the mother commented, But
its so funny. You look at her and shes like, I didnt use pencil (Miller et al.,
1996, p. 260). Obviously, the rule violation was not the main point of this
conversation. Instead of encouraging children to learn from their past mistakes, American parents often use the past to make children feel good about
themselves, in other words, to protect or enhance childrens self-esteem.
In general, individuals in Euro-American culture may not appreciate the
directive function of memories to the same extent as they do for the self
and social functions. Using two diVerent methods to solicit autobiographical memories, Hyman and Faries (1992) asked their U.S. participants to
describe previous times when they had consulted their memories of past
events. They found that self-deWnitional and social functions were very
common uses of autobiographical memories. People often told a personal
story to others for the purpose of describing themselves and solidifying relationships. In comparison, the directive function of memory was rarely evident in either of their two data sets. The researchers argued that, although
this Wnding might be related to their methodology, which did not provide a
problem-oriented context, it could also reXect that autobiographical memories were not particularly important for guiding behavior on a daily basis.
Consistent with this view, Wang and Conway (in press) found that, when
recalling life events, American middle-aged adults (9%) were less likely than
their Chinese counterparts (48%) to reXect upon mores or worldviews that
derived from or extended beyond the actual memories (e.g., Since then, I
have realized that there are more nice people than bad ones in this world,
and I learned that perfection takes practice). As mentioned earlier, learning-from-the-past modes of conversation are rarely observed between Euro-
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American parents and their children (Miller et al., 1996, 1997; Mullen &
Yi, 1995; Wang et al., 2000).
The lack of emphasis on the directive function of memory may be historically patterned in the West such that the use of past experiences for value and
moral teaching is more readily observed in older than in younger generations
(Michael Pratt, personal communication). In a fast-changing society like the
U.S., the past and the present become so dissimilar sometimes that past experiences may no longer be valuable or informative to current situations. Nevertheless, the directive function of memory is not completely absent from modern life. Although not particularly focusing on the moral value of the past, as
the Chinese often do, Euro-American individuals do use their memories for
current problem-solving and behavior guidance. This is reXected in the following dialogue (Wang et al., 2000), where an American mother initiated a
memory conversation with her 3-year-old son that seemed to serve a directive
function in guiding the childs current behavior.
Mother (M): Why is this toy special? Why did we get this toy? Where did we go
to get this?
Child (C): At the toy store.
M:
We got it at the toy store. Why did I get this for you?
C:
Because Im trying to use a potty!
M:
Because youre gonna use the potty?
C:
Yeah.
M:
Yeah. And do you remember when we went to the toy store
together? What did we see there? What kinds of things did you
like that was at the toy store?
C:
Power Ranger guy.
M:
Power Ranger guy. . . . Oh. And tell me about . . . What was my
deal with you? Why did we decide to get this?
C:
Because gonna use a potty!
M:
Youre gonna to use the potty and what do you get to . . . What
does that mean? Do you wear diapers?
C:
No.
M:
What are you . . .
C:
Big boy pants.
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MEMORY, CULTURE,
AND PARENT-CHILD REMINISCING
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promote social harmony (social), and to perfect a moral and intellectual being
as idealized by traditional Chinese teachings (directive).
The functional diVerences in parent-child reminiscing between EuroAmerican and Chinese families reXect diVerent socialization goals in the two
cultures, and appear to directly aVect the ways that children come to use their
memories. In studies (Han, Leichtman, & Wang, 1998; Wang, in press;
Wang & Leichtman, 2000) where preschool children were asked to independently recount their personal experiences, such as how they spent their
last birthday or a recent time when they felt a particular emotion (e.g., anger),
Chinese children focused more on skeletal routine events, talked more frequently about social interactions and group activities, and made more references to social rules and behavioral standards than did their American peers.
In contrast, American children provided elaborate accounts of personal experiences that often focused on detailed, one-moment-in-time events and
contained rich spontaneous references to personal predilections and opinions. Such structural and content diVerences in childrens autobiographical
memories mirror those between adults in Euro-American and Asian cultures
(Mullen, 1994; Wang, 2001b; Wang & Conway, in press).
Thus, early parent-child reminiscing serves as an ideal social context in
which parents transmit to their children culture-speciWc functions of memory
and memory sharing and encourage the development of culturally adaptive
qualities. The child-centered, highly elaborate conversational style of American parent-child pairs is well-suited to the goal of facilitating the development of childrens autonomy and individuality, whereas the didactic, grouporiented conversational style of Chinese parent-child pairs conveys to children
social rules and standards to build an aYliation with the larger society and
prepares children for the life-long ren ( ) pursuit. Consequently, before the
onset of formal schooling, children have already internalized culturally appropriate ways of reminiscing, using memory narrative as an eVective medium to
construe and express their belief systems acquired in a myriad of daily
exchanges with their parents and signiWcant others. This enculturational process is consonant with the social-interactionist view of cognitive development
that emphasizes the social contexts of acting, experiencing, collaborating, and
remembering (e.g., Fivush, 1994; Nelson, 1996; RogoV, 1990; Vygotsky,
1978). Through joint parent-child reminiscing, family narratives not only
serve as a model for children to construct their self-narratives, but eventually
become an integral part of their self-narratives.
Notably, the self, social, and directive functions of autobiographical memory denote particular ways of parent-child reminiscing that may be interconnected within each cultural context. For example, focusing on childrens
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12.
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297
2003b). We are currently conducting studies to further explore cultural variations in trauma-coping strategies during the act and process of telling family
stories.
Culture evokes functional variations in family reminiscing for the socialization of the young. The revealing cases of memory conversations in EuroAmerican and Chinese families suggest that the functions of sharing memory
narrative are not an intrinsic given, but a social creation, and hence subject to
variation across cultures. The functions of remembering and recounting personal experiences and the ways the functions are achieved are derived from
and shaped by a cultures philosophical and religious traditions, its structural
organization of the society and the family, and its prevailing ideas about the
self. The functional variations in family storytelling, in turn, have direct
impact on the developing child as well as on the dynamic system of the family. DiVerent cultural beliefs about memory usages are manifested in the processes and outcomes of everyday mnemonic activities, aVecting how personal
experiences are remembered and shared, and constituting a cultural context
of parent-child reminiscing.
ACKNOWLEDGMENT
I thank JeV Webster and Faith Markle for their thoughtful comments on an
earlier version of this manuscript.
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13
Listening Is Active: Lessons
From the Narrative Practices
of Taiwanese Families
Heidi Fung
Academia Sinica, Taipei, Taiwan
Peggy J. Miller
Lu-Chun Lin
University of Illinois, Urbana-Champaign
When your parents call for you, respond without delay; when your parents
issue an order, carry it out at the best of your ability; when your parents
give you instructions, listen with respect; when your parents rebuke you,
take it with an easy grace. . . . Whenever you speak, earnest comes Wrst;
deception and presumption: two evils to avoid; as for words, consider less
better than a lot; the more you speak, the more mistakes you are likely to
make; you speak less, good results are warranted . . .
Y. X. Li, Qing Dynasty, The Rules of the Disciples
304
Regardless of the particular language employed, human communication involves ambiguity, requiring that listeners make inferences in order to comprehend the speakers intended meaning (Scollon & Scollon, 1995). Scholars
have argued, however, that styles of communication in cultures that have
been inXuenced by Confucianism are especially likely to exploit ambiguity
as a communicative resource, thereby placing heavy demands on listeners
(Clancy, 1986; Cook, 1999; Gao, 1998; Gao, Ting-Toomey, & Gudykunst,
1996; He, 2001; Young, 1994; Yum, 1991). The Confucian character of
Chinese communication style is often discussed along two dimensions: an
emphasis on hierarchical structure and role diVerentiation at the interpersonal level, and a distinctive view of language that emphasizes the individuals
moral character.
Regarding the social aspect, Confucianism places a high value on proper
human relationships (yi ) and on propriety (li ). The Chinese self is deWned by
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305
306
the essence of selection (discretion); to speak and act warily is the restraining
advantage of self-control (p. 168).
In sum, the Confucian perspective on interpersonal relationships and language implies an asymmetrical style of communication and an emphasis on
attentive observing and listening. As Gao (1998) has said, Chinese communication appears to be passive in speaking, but it emphasizes activeness in
listening (p. 174). Moreover, the model of communication embodied in
ancient Confucian texts has modern reverberations, a claim that is developed
further in the next sections of this chapter. For example, according to contemporary indigenous models of learning, Chinese learners are encouraged to
observe and prioritize actions ahead of words (Li, 2001).
Taiwan is a small island that lies oV the southeastern coast of China. It has a
population of 23 million, most of whom are descendants of diVerent waves of
Chinese migrants. In the past several decades, Taiwan has witnessed phenomenal economic growth, moving from an agrarian to a consumer economy, and drastic sociopolitical changes, transforming from a one-party dictatorship into a full democracy. In addition, with increasing globalization,
advancement of technology and expanding Internet communities, dissemination of popular culture (particularly from Korea and Japan), Xourishing
tourism, and growing international migration, Taiwanese people are increasingly exposed to cultures other than Chinese. Children growing up today in
Taiwan, and especially in Taipei, its capital city, inhabit a world signiWcantly
diVerent from that of their parents and grandparents.
As Taiwanese society becomes much more pluralistic and individualistic,
people are confronted with multiple and contesting cultural models and have
to reconstruct, reinterpret, or redeWne their beliefs and practices in creative
ways. For instance, based on an analysis of recently published popular books
in Taiwan, Chang (2001) discovered two countervailing trends: an everincreasing number of translated books that purport to teach people how to
communicate in a Western style, and re-valuing and elevation of Chinese cultural traditions. In response to challenges from the West, and in line with the
need to use words to navigate a vibrant democratic society, books by local
authors redeWne Chinese cultural tradition as embracing eloquent speaking
skills (rather than merely emphasizing listening and humility) and call for
readers appreciation of verbal skills employed by ancient Chinese philoso-
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307
phers and politicians. Chang (2001) noted that instead of adopting the stepby-step instruction characteristic of most translated Western books, local
authors expect readers to look for the lessons in stories about how exactly
ancient peoples verbal skills led them to accomplish important tasks. Paradoxically, the act of redeWning the tradition is also an act of revitalizing the
historical past.
The Confucian past has also been re-envisioned by parents and educators.
Parents of preschoolers often solicit child-rearing and educational advice from
materials translated from Japanese or English sources and from professionals
who are educated in foreign countries. Sending children to all English or
bilingual kindergartens is an increasing trend, which makes the English
teaching business, franchised or independently run, a thriving industry.
Parents concern with how to make their youngsters globally competitive
coexists with a pedagogical revival of classical primers in kindergartens and
primary schools. Local advocates distribute free copies of classical primers to
kindergartens and schools, oVer workshops that train teachers in traditional
pedagogy, and organize childrens reciting contests island-wide. Children are
encouraged to memorize and recite these texts in a manner that diVers little
from the pedagogical practice of hundreds of years ago. The rationale is
phrased in both market and moral terms. The former includes stimulating
the functioning of the brain, exploring the childs potentials, and improving
intelligence and memory, whereas the latter includes purifying the childs
mind and stabilizing his or her disposition, correcting the chaotic, disordered
society, and continuing Confucian traditions.
One of the most popular classical primers adopted by Taiwanese parents
and teachers is The Rules of the Disciples, a portion of which is quoted at the
beginning of this chapter. This book was originally written by a scholar, Yu-xiu
Li (16621722), in the Qing Dynasty and contains 90 four-line rhymed
verses with three characters to each line (i.e., 1,080 characters in total). This
primer oVers concrete, extensive, and detailed instructions on how a young
person should act and behave in daily life. These instructions were derived
from a passage in The Analects of Confucius, which reads as follows:
A young man should be a good son at home and an obedient young man
abroad, sparing of speech but trustworthy in what he says, and should love the
multitude at large but cultivate the friendship of his fellow men. If, after all
these activities, he has any energy to spare, let him use it to making himself cultivated. (I, 6, translated by Lau, 1992, pp. 35).
308
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309
latter practice, the child contributes little if anything to the narration but is
present as a co-present other and possible listener. Interestingly, this participant structure accounts for more of the stories of personal experience for the
Taipei children, compared with the Longwood children.
An important part of the Taiwanese parents didactic practice involves
pointing out to the childagain and againwhere he or she went wrong.
For instance, 35% (as opposed to 7% in the observed European-American
families) of the spontaneously occurring family stories (involving both conarrations and stories about the child) invoke a past misdeed committed by
the focal child (Miller et al., 1997). These youngsters are exposed to a steady
stream of stories, about one per hour on average, in which they are cast as
transgressors in some past event.
Moreover, with regard to the structure and content of these stories, the
childrens transgressions are not handled with kid gloves (Miller et al., 1996,
2001). Their transgressions are talked of openly, publicly, and explicitly, often
in strong language. Transgression stories are constructed so as to establish the
childs transgression as the point of the story. Sometimes family members
shame the child (You made your mother lose face. Arent you ashamed of
yourself ?). Sometimes they try to extract confessions from the child (Tell
me why did you go in there? Would you do it again?), and sometimes they
end the story with a didactic coda that draws out the moral of the story
(Now I dont cry at all. Saying dirty words is no good.). Many of the
transgression stories are occasioned by a misdeed in the here-and-now, suggesting that these are occasions when parents put into practice their beliefs
about opportunity education. They treat the childs current misdeed as an
opportunity to remind the child of a previous misdeed, thereby reinforcing
and personalizing moral lessons through concrete exemplars. Thus, the child
may hear particular misdeeds narrated again and again. In short, children
repeatedly encounter and participate in descriptions of themselves as failed
moral actors. Parents, for their part, cannot escape the burden of being alert
to their childrens misdeeds, of keeping account of past transgressions, and of
remaining vigilant for opportunities to guide and correct, if they are to discharge their responsibilities as moral educators of their children.
310
This co-narration occurred when Yoyo was 2 years old. Immediately before
the co-narration, Yoyos brother, age 6, recited the lion story from Esops
Fables, which his grandmother had read to him the previous day. The grandmother, who was sitting on the sofa, asked how smart Yoyo was compared to
that stupid lion. She then initiated the following interaction as a way of
demonstrating how smart he is. As she did so, she pulled him closer to her
and held him in her arms.
Example 1
Grandmother (GM): Oh, yes, this morning, when Mom was spanking you,
what did you say? You said, Dont hit me, right? Then,
what did Grandma tell you what to say?
Child (C):
(quietly) [I] wont push the screen down [again]. (GM
lowers her head and puts her ear next to Cs mouth)
GM:
Oh right. What would you say to your mom?
C:
I would say to Mom, I wont push the screen down.
(raises his head and speaks in a very low tone into
GMs ear)
GM:
Oh, you would say to Mom, Mama, I wont push the
screen down [again], oh?
C:
Hmn. (nods)
GM:
So, Mom wouldnt hit you. Right, oh? If you asked Mom,
You dont hit me, Mom would have hit you, right?
C:
Right. (nods)
GM:
So you would directly say to Mom in this way, Mom, I
wont push the screen down. Then how would Mom
have reacted?
C:
Wont hit. (almost unintelligible)
GM:
What? (lowers her head and expects C to speak louder)
C:
Wont hit. (quietly)
GM:
Then she wouldnt hit you, right? Oh. Next time when
13.
LISTENING IS ACTIVE
C:
GM:
Researcher (R):
GM:
C:
GM:
C:
GM:
311
312
is able to follow a complex line of cognitive and moral reasoning on the spot.
She seems to implicitly trust in his ability to exercise sound moral judgment
in the future.
For our purposes what is most intriguing about this example is the way
that Yoyo responds. Throughout this lengthy episode he is highly attentive to
his grandmother. Most of his responses are of two sorts: he repeats words, preselected for him by his grandmother, or he nods verbally or nonverbally, indicating assent to what she is saying. If we focus only on Yoyos initial responses,
we might be tempted to think that he was, at best, merely parroting what his
grandmother said. Toward the end of the episode, however, he comes up with
his own novel contribution, one that surprises and delights the grandmother.
When Yoyo forecasts that his mother will give him a tender touch, he conveys his faith that next time he will make the right choice and that the right
choice will restore his mothers love. In other words, as expected by his grandmother, Yoyo not only listens and comprehends but also joins her to reXect
upon his own behavior and project a better self.
Another remarkable feature of Example 1 is that it is the last in a series of
Wve thematically linked retellings of the same events. These retellings,
which unfolded over the course of an hour and a half, pertained to two consecutive transgressions that Yoyo had committed earlier in the day: he played
with a screen, imperiling a vase of Xowers, and then he protested when his
mother left for work.
While the Wrst and third tellings focused on Yoyos inappropriate crying
and yelling in the not letting the mother go incident, the second telling, a
co-narration, focused on the rules that were invoked in connection with the
Wrst transgression. In response to the grandmothers prompts What did
Mom say? Dont touch the Xowers, right? When did Mom say it? How
many Xowers did Mom hand over to you?Yoyos brother reported, This
morning, Mom said, not even one bud of the roses (which were put in a vase
and placed in front of the screen) should be missing. The screen should not
be pushed down either. Yoyo then repeated after him, The screen should
not be pushed down either. The grandmother then brought up yet another
transgression that occurred some days earlier in which the children knocked
down the screen, and the brother added that the wooden pieces fell apart and
later had to be glued together.
The fourth telling was a detailed depiction of what happened in both incidents. In this story about the child, Yoyos grandmother and his older brother
recounted, in Yoyos presence, that while the mother was rushing oV to work,
Yoyo yelled at her Wercely from the balcony, Come back, come back, I say
Mommy be back. Come back to me. The grandmother then related that, in
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L I S T E N I N G I S AC T I V E
313
fact, just a brief while earlier, Yoyo had been spanked by his mother for playing with the screen. Yoyos older brother explicated the rule: Mom said we
cannot play with the screen, because if the screen is knocked down, it will
fall down onto these roses, and the roses will break and die. Therefore she
spanked Yoyo. From the second telling, we realize that the mothers reprimand must have served to forestall a more serious transgression knocking
down and breaking the screenwhich had happened on a previous occasion.
Thus, when Example 1 is examined in the context of the previous retellings, it is striking how much time and energy this family spent reviewing
Yoyos misdeeds. Equally striking, Yoyo accepted these critiques with patient
forbearance, even when his older brother joined in. Yoyo listened attentively,
admitted to his wrongdoing, rehearsed rules for appropriate conduct, and
imagined doing better in the future. Notice too that the retellings varied in
subtle ways, highlighting diVerent facets of the past events, making links to
other events, developing slightly diVerent moral implications. This is typical
of the way that childrens transgressions are narrated in the Taiwanese families. Retellings diVer in terms of the immediate contexts out of which they
arise, what gets foregrounded as the main point, the perspectives that the care
giver takes (e.g., in addition to invoking rules and judging the child, the care
giver may also sympathetically mitigate or explain the event from the childs
stance), how the child is portrayed in the narrated event, and the participant
roles into which he is cast in the here-and-now narrative activity (e.g., copresent other, listener, co-narrator).
It is likely that the frequent but variable retelling of childrens past transgressions promotes listening because the child is called upon to make diVerent responses each time, even when the same event is recounted. Unlike the
European-American children studied by our research team (Miller et al.,
2001; Mintz, 1999), these children do not get oV the hook with an admission
of wrongdoing or a brief apology. Also, as Example 1 demonstrates, these narrative practices are embedded in and linked to other nondidactic practices,
involving love, care, and aVection. The intertwining of these sentiments with
discourses of moral scrutiny and evaluation may allow the child to hear critiques without rebelling or becoming discouraged.
Angu Challenges Her Aunt
The next example illustrates that not speaking may reXect active listening and
that a 4-year-old can be a formidable moral critic. Angu was a very bright,
appealing, well-loved, and verbally precocious child, and she was the recipient of some of the longest and most intense shaming interactions among the
314
observed families. The incident in question occurred toward the end of our
longitudinal study; by this time the researcher and the family had known each
other for 2 years.
When the researcher arrived at the door on this particular day, Angus aunt
was scolding her severely for spilling food and behaving inappropriately at
the table. (The aunt was the primary care giver; Angu lived with her and
addressed her as mama.) Angu ceased misbehaving but the reprimand continued for almost 10 minutes. The researcher did not feel at ease and asked if
she should leave and come again at another day. Apparently, the aunt was not
in a good mood; she was in failing health and she was exhausted from taking
care of both Angu and her newborn baby sister. As she listened to her aunts
reprimand, Angu made faces at the researcher, indicating her displeasure with
her aunt. After several prompts by the aunt and the researcher, Angu cautiously and reluctantly recounted how she celebrated her birthday 2 days earlier, including that her aunt had spanked her for rushing into a pile of dishes.
Throughout the Wrst hour of the observational session, the aunt occasionally
shouted at and harangued Angu and brought up her past misdeeds. Angu
bore this long period of tense interaction in silence.
The really interesting part happened about an hour and a half later. When
the aunt had become much more relaxed, Angu playfully argued with her
as to whether Angu or her 5-month-old baby sister made more noise. Then
Angu suddenly changed the topic and began to challenge her aunts mishandling of her previous transgressionsrushing into dishes on her birthday
and spilling food. Although the aunt never apologized, she recognized Angus
anger and allowed her to talk back and make her point.
Example 2
Child (C): (index Wnger pointing at Aunt) Mama, Im asking you a question.
When I kicked the dishes, kicked [them] far away, why were you
unreasonable to me? Tell me. (holds up her chin with a scornful attitude) Hum!
Aunt (A): In what way was I unreasonable? You knocked over my dishes, ping
ping pang, to that far. You kicked it all the way, kicked ping pang
to that far. What did you do? Early in the morning, you kicked
dishes, from that. . . . How come you didnt walk carefully but
instead rushed into all those dishes, which were all broken by your
kick?
C:
Because I fell! (very loudly)
A:
Why did you fall? How come you didnt know how to walk? (looks
down and talks to the baby sister who is drinking milk in her arms)
Your sister is quarreling. Boy, isnt she mad. (laughs, looks up and
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L I S T E N I N G I S AC T I V E
C:
A:
C:
A:
C:
A:
C:
315
talks to Angu again) Why did you [do that], you give me a reason
for that.
Disgusting! (loudly)
Huh? Right? Why every day you cannot . . . (interrupted by C)
Not right! (loudly)
Why cant you ever sit properly when you eat? And then, whatever
you eat [or drink], you spill. Whatever you eat, you spill.
(in a very serious tone) But why didnt you reason with me nicely?
Its not that you didnt have Daddy and Mommy. You had Daddy
and Mommy before. When you were young, didnt you ever spill?
Me? I was very well-behaved. I never spilt food.
Really?
316
These and other routine moral discourses aVord young Taiwanese children
many opportunities to reXect on their own conduct. Although they engage in
a kind of moral self-scrutiny that is modeled and structured in starkly blackand-white terms, they are also invited to make their own contributions to the
discourse. Care givers hold young children to high standards of moral conduct and oVer them numerous opportunities to listen carefully and to reXect
upon their actions both before and after the fact. Within these didactic interactions, not speaking does not necessarily mean a lack of creativity or critical
thinking, nor does listening necessarily imply passive submission or docile
obedience. At a very young age, these children already demonstrate a highly
reXective form of agency through attentive listening.
The importance attributed to listening in Confucian traditions and in everyday narrative practices in Taiwanese families leads us to take a fresh look at the
study of narrative. If developmentalists brought to their research projects the
kinds of perspectives and inclinations that pervade the narrative practices of
Yoyo and Angus families, what kinds of research questions would they ask?
Or to frame the question slightly diVerently, what would the study of narrative development look like if it assumed a didactic model of narrative that
privileged the listener role?
We believe that researchers with these meta-theoretical biases would be
keenly interested in childrens development as listeners. They would regard
listening as a moral/social/cognitive skillan obligation to parents, a means
of learning how to be a right and proper person, and a vital part of the
childs emerging narrative competence. Researchers with these assumptions
would chart childrens narrative development in terms of their growing ability to listen. They might ask the following kinds of questions: Does the
child adopt the appropriate listening demeanor? Is the child able to grasp
complex sequences of events, detect subtle diVerences across stories, register
nuances conveyed by the narrators voice and face, and time his or her
responses so that they will be heard? Does the child request certain stories or
position himself or herself to be able to listen? What kinds of listening
opportunities does the family routinely provide? How do these opportunities change with age? Are stories told to, about, and around the child? Are
children encouraged to listen? If so, how are they encouraged? If they fail to
listen, what are the consequences? Are children allowed to listen, as by-
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Although there has been a tremendous amount of interest in childrens narrative development in the last two decades, very few studies address these
kinds of questions. Instead, whether the focus is on the development of narrative itself or on narrative as a window into autobiographical memory, selfconstruction, or socioemotional processes, most studies implicitly privilege
the childs role as narrator (Applebee, 1978; Bamberg, 1997; Berman &
Slobin, 1994; Engel, 1995; Fivush, 1993; McCabe & Peterson, 1990; Miller,
1994; Miller et al., 1992). Conducted largely by American researchers, studying American children, these studies rely primarily on measures of narrative
production or observations of children telling or co-telling stories. This bias
toward the narrator role and away from the listener role may reXect hidden
assumptions, rooted in American culture, that the narrator role is the only
active role and thus the only role that really matters developmentally.
One major strand of research addresses the development of narrative per
se, especially narrative structure (e.g., Applebee, 1978; Botvin & SuttonSmith, 1977; McCabe & Peterson, 1990; Peterson & McCabe, 1983). These
studies rely upon production tasks and usually involve story elicitations. The
elicitation procedures range from open-ended to controlled. The researcher
asks the child to tell a story (Applebee, 1978), to make up a story about something familiar (Bennett-Kastor, 1986), to tell a story of a past personal experience (Labov, 1972), or to tell a story based on wordless picture books (Bamberg, 1997; Berman & Slobin, 1994; Hickman & Hendriks, 1999; Wigglesworth, 1997).
Other strands of research investigate childrens narratives in order to understand their social, emotional, or cognitive development (e.g. Fivush, 1993;
Pitcher & Prelinger, 1963; Stern, 1985, 1989; Sutton-Smith, 1981). Again,
most of these studies emphasize childrens narrative productions. However,
some of these studies treat children as co-narrators rather than solo narrators.
For example, the childs mother (or a researcher) is asked to tell a story with
the child about a particular event, such as going to the circus or what happened at school that day (Fenny, Eder, & Rescorla, 1996; Fivush, Hamond,
Harsch, Singer, & Wolf, 1991; Fivush, Haden, & Adam, 1995; Haden &
Fivush, 1996; Reese & Fivush, 1993). In other studies, the researcher provides a short prompting narrative (e.g., being stung by a bee) to induce
children to tell similar stories (Ely & McCabe, 1993; Peterson & McCabe,
318
1983; Peterson, Jesso, & McCabe, 1999; Wang & Leichtman, 2000); or
asks the child to complete story stems (e.g., using MacArthur Story-Stem Battery, Oppenheim, Emde, & Warren, 1997; Oppenheim, Nir, Warren, &
Emde, 1997) or Wnish the stories with beginnings provided (e.g., Domino &
Hannah, 1987; Oppenheim, Emde, & Warren, 1997; Wang & Leichtman, 2000).
Still another strand of work focuses on the role that storytelling plays in
socializing children into the meaning systems of their culture (e.g., Bruner,
1990; Engel, 1995; Heath, 1983; Miller et al., 1990, 1992). As Bruner
(1990) points out, narratives are a means by which children navigate meanings. When childrens narrative skills advance, this not only represents a
mental achievement, but an achievement of social practice that lends stability
to the childs social life (p. 8). These researchers tend to adopt a more naturalistic approach, observing childrens everyday narrative practices in classrooms (Michaels, 1981; Stone, 1992) and homes (e.g., Blum-Kulka & Snow,
1992; Burger & Miller, 1999; Mintz, 1995; Preece, 1987; Wiley, Rose,
Burger, & Miller, 1998). Although the focus on everyday narrative activity
allows researchers to cast a larger net, here too studies are more likely to focus
on children co-narrating stories than on children listening to stories.
A Range of Participant Roles
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evening gatherings in which everyone listened quietly as stories were told and
conXicts resolved. Thus, these studies suggest that it is not just the Taiwanese
who value listening and organize many opportunities for young children to
listen to stories in the family context. They point to the need to learn more
about how listening is culturally organized and elaborated in diVerent cultural cases.
In sum, in contrast to Taiwanese traditions and narrative practices that valorize the listener role, much developmental research has privileged the narrator role. As a result, little is known about how children develop as listeners.
By focusing on the Xow of interaction between family members and young
children and by following in the interpretive footsteps of the various participants (Briggs, 1998), it is possible to study listening from the perspective of
both socialization and acquisition. The analyses presented in this chapter suggest that young childrens achievements as listeners are best appreciated via
prolonged observation and painstaking inspection across the boundary of
each narration, across genres, and even across observational sessions. For
instance, in Example 2, if the researcher had left Angus home earlier, she
would have missed Angus challenge to her aunt and would have concluded
that Angu had timidly listened without responding. Similarly, in Example 1,
Yoyos moral agency could be understood only within the context of repeated
narrations of the same transgression with modiWed details, and in contrast to
how competent his older brother was at reciting the rules and correcting
Yoyos misdeeds.
We are not suggesting that researchers should ignore or downplay the narrator role; our point is that the study of narrative development will beneWt
from a more balanced approach that encompasses the whole range of ways in
which children and their families participate in narrative. Conversational narration is an interactive process accomplished jointly by participants who
occupy a whole range of roles, including narrator, co-narrator, listener, bystander, and overhearer. Therefore, it is essential to treat all narrative practices
as the collaborative and co-constructed work of these several participants and
to chart childrens development in terms of the full range of roles available to
them. A more balanced perspective should also be cultivated in educational
arenas. In the United States, where speaking is assumed to be conducive to
active learning, Chinese learners are often seen by American teachers as passive or unwilling to participate (Li, 2003). Our work lends weight to Pangs
(1996) advice that American teachers need to respect Asian students attentive silence (pp. 188189). They often remain silent because they perceive
silence as respectful to the teacher and fellow students or because they are
engrossed in active listening and observing.
320
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PA R T V
14
Telling Stories
and Getting Acquainted:
How Age Matters
Odette Gould
Mount Allison University
328
GOULD
REMEMBERING STORIES
Most researchers of cognitive aging Wnd that performance on episodic memory tasks declines as we reach late adulthood (Zacks, Hasher, & Li, 2000).
Episodic memory is the facet of memory that we use when we witness an
event or read a story and attempt to recall the information at a later date.
Although rarely presented in this context, these types of discourse memory
tasks are arguably a form of storytelling, since they involve the creation and
presentation of a coherent organization of facts (Dixon & Gould, 1996). One
particularly fertile perspective oVered by Craik and colleagues (e.g., Craik &
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Jennings, 1992) has been that the performance levels attained by older adults
are determined to a large extent by the amount of environmental support
provided either when information is being learned or when it is being
retrieved from memory. In our work, my colleagues and I have explored the
possibility that collaboration may oVer a special form of retrieval support that
would allow older adults to maintain high levels of recall performance despite
age-related memory losses. Thus, one possibility is that in a collaborative
recall setting, compensatory mechanisms may come into play and older adults
may not be at a performance disadvantage. Of course, a second possibility
is that the collaborative context could be particularly detrimental to older
adults cognitive performance. Indeed, many aspects of collaborative recall
involve substantial demands to working memory, and working memory performance is consistently found to decrease in late adulthood (Zacks et al.,
2000). For example, the process of collaborating involves (a) monitoring partners verbal productions at the same time as one is planning ones own production, (b) a constant updating of what one planned to say based on what
the partner said, and (c) the ability to quickly switch ones attention between
ones own thoughts and the partners speech. Thus, one goal of our early
research on collaborative recall was simply to establish whether older adults
would be able to be eVective collaborators, despite the presumably heavy
working memory demands of this context.
In one study (Dixon & Gould, 1998) we simply compared recall performance of younger and older adults who recalled information as individuals,
groups of two, and groups of four. Twelve units of participants were tested at
each of the three group sizes and the two age levels. Results indicated that
recall performance increased across group size, but younger adults consistently recalled more information than older adults. Groups of four older
adults, although recalling more than both older dyads and older individuals,
only attained levels of recall similar to that of younger individuals. These early
results were important in our thinking about collaborative memory in many
ways. First, we managed to establish that older adults are eVective collaborators since they, like younger adults, performed better as groups than as individuals. Second, we established that the structure of stories recalled by groups
is similar to the structure of stories recalled by individuals: most main ideas
are recalled, and details of the story, as they decrease in importance to the gist
of the story, are less likely to be recalled. Finally, we established that even
when working as a group, older adults do not (always) recall as much information as younger groups.
The results just described focused exclusively on the amount of information (speciWcally the number of idea units) that was recalled. Of course, this
330
GOULD
is only a small part of the picture. My colleagues and I have also begun exploring collaboration by attempting to identify what else, other than restated (i.e.,
correctly recalled) ideas from the stimulus-story, was being produced by the
groups during recall. This type of analysis is of interest because it allows us to
begin addressing the process of collaboration (i.e., how it happens). One set
of analyses focused on categorizing elaborations, deWned as statements made
during the recall sessions that were neither errors nor correctly recalled statements from the stimuli (Gould, Trevithick, & Dixon, 1991). We identiWed
two main types of elaborations and labeled them denotative and annotative
elaborations. Denotative elaborations are inferences that are based on the
content of the stimulus story, and state information that was implied but not
stated directly in the story. For example, if the original story stated that someone had gone shopping, a participant could recall that the protagonist had
driven his car to the shopping mall. The participant is adding information
to the original story, but this information is implied. Annotative elaborations
are much less closely tied to the stimulus story and include statements where
the speaker is evaluating and commenting on the story, its events, and its
characters. For example, a participant might state that the stimulus story is
unrealistic, that the protagonist is foolish, or that he has had a similar experience in his own life.
We found no age diVerences for the number of denotative elaborations
produced, although their number tended to increase as the size of the group
increased. In contrast, older adults produced more annotative elaborations
than younger adults, and for older, but not younger adults, the number of
annotative elaborations increased with every increase in group size. Finally, it
was particularly intriguing that while the production of denotative elaborations correlated positively and signiWcantly with recall performance, the production of annotative elaborations was unrelated, for both age groups, with
recall. Thus, older adults, particularly when they work in groups, seem to be
making the recall task not only a purely cognitive one, but a social one as well.
By commenting on the stories and their protagonists, older adults are bringing in more of a subjective, or at least evaluative, component to the task than
younger adults are. One possibility is that adding this subjective aspect to the
task may be one way that older adults, particularly groups of older adults,
compensate for age-related memory loss. Indeed, it may be that, by adding a
subjective and evaluative component to the stimulus story, it becomes more
memorable than it would otherwise be. Of course, this hypothesized compensatory process, if it does occur, is secondary at best, since (a) younger adult
groups still remember more information than older groups, and (b) the production of annotative elaborations is not positively correlated with recall.
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332
GOULD
was not so much invalid as overly simplistic. Indeed, we found that for younger
adults there was no relationship between recall performance and group process, but for older adults, the correlation between recall performance and task
discussion was positive and signiWcant, while the correlation between recall
performance and sociability/support statements was negative and statistically
signiWcant. Furthermore, we found that one of the main distinctions between
the groups was the fact that older unacquainted dyads produced more sociability/support statements than other types of dyads, particularly at the end
of the recall conversations, and married couples (both young and old) increased their production of task discussion statements as the recall conversation progressed.
One interpretation of this pattern is that all types of dyads adopted a strategy where the Wrst part of the recall conversation consisted mostly of having
individuals recall what they could, and the end of the conversation consisted
much more of group process. Seemingly, older unfamiliar dyads were getting
acquainted as a prerequisite to strategizing, while the married couples could
go directly to planning how to accomplish the task. The overarching assumption here is that for older adults, the task of remembering information is more
likely to be considered challenging, and therefore functional interdependence is present. Functional interdependence is a term used by Steiner (1972)
to describe a situation where group members believe that they are unable to
accomplish a task without the help of other group members.
Recently, my students and I investigated the eVects of group familiarity on
performance levels in more depth (Gould, Osborn, Krein, & Mortenson,
2002). As already mentioned, the earlier study (Dixon & Gould, 1998) was
problematic, particularly because the unfamiliar dyads and the married couples were not tested using the same stimuli, but also because there may be
fundamental diVerences between the types of participants who come to a
study as part of a married couple and those who come as individuals. Thus,
in the Gould et al. (2002) study we proposed that the best way to carry out
this comparison was to do a within-subject comparison of dyad type. We
therefore tested two same-aged couples at the same time, so that each person
carried out a series of cognitive tasks with his or her spouse, but also with an
opposite-gender stranger. We asked our participants to carry out three main
cognitive measures: word recall, story recall, and a referential naming task.
The two memory tests in the Gould et al. (2002) study yielded similar
and surprisingresults. We asked our participants to predict their recall
before the task began. They predicted (and so did we) that higher levels of
performance would be obtained when participants worked with their spouses
than when they worked with strangers. However, familiarity with the partner
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333
did not aVect performance, for neither the young nor the older dyads! Moreover, there was a signiWcant interaction between the age and the gender factors in both tasks: Older women remembered just as much information as the
younger adults, but older men recalled signiWcantly fewer words and fewer
story ideas. Unfortunately, the design we used did not permit us to distinguish between a cognitive and a social process explanation for these Wndings.
SpeciWcally, it may be that older men (at least those of this cohort) show lower
performance on episodic memory tests, or it may be that these older men
were less likely to interrupt their female partners to insert their own recalled
information. (Of course, older men may not have inserted their recall because
they were too polite to interrupt their female partner, or because their older
female partners resisted being interrupted, or both). The referential naming
task used in Gould et al. (2002) is one where one partner must describe
repeatedly a set of ambiguous images so that the partner can organize these
images into the correct order. We had felt that in this task, in particular,
familiarity with ones partner would be an advantage, since shared past experiences could be used to create referents. However, virtual strangers carried
out the task just as well as long-married couples. Of course, our Wndings need
to be interpreted in context: The tasks may have lacked ecological validity,
and it is possible that if familiar and relevant stimuli were used, then familiarity eVects would be obtained.
It is important to note that the research described here is only one aspect
of the exciting work being carried out on the more general topic of collaborative cognition, including much recent work on collaborative everyday
problem solving (e.g., Goodnow, Lawrence, Ryan, Karantzas, & King, 2002;
Margrett & Marsiske, 2002; Meegan & Berg, 2002; Strough, Cheng &
Swenson, 2002). Overall, the research on collaborative cognition is yielding
exciting and provocative Wndings. Despite the presumptive cognitive demands
of the collaborative setting itself, older adults seem to be very eVective collaborators when recalling information together. Even more exciting is the possibility that the collaborative setting is diVerentially beneWcial to older adults.
The next step in this research is to establish exactly how older adults beneWt
from working in groups. Are older adults better than younger adults at cuing
each other? Are older adults better at managing the collaborative process? Do
older adults collaborate as well with younger partners? Does familiarity with
the younger partner make a diVerence? These are the questions that we are
addressing in the projects that we are undertaking presently.
In conclusion, the results described earlier can be seen as being fundamentally optimistic in two ways. First, we have found evidence that at least some
older dyads can recall just as much information as younger dyads. Thus,
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TELLING STORIES
In the research described previously, the focus was on how dyads and small
groups of peers worked together to remember a stimulus story that they had
read or heard moments before. An equally interesting topic is investigating
how older adults tell (rather than re-tell) a story, particularly their own
story. How adept are we at describing to friends and family members the
events from our own life in interesting ways? And what events from our own
life do we consider key to explaining who we have become?
There has been surprisingly little research focusing on the production of
discourse by healthy, normally aging older adults (Kemper & Kemtes, 2000).
Indeed, much of the recent work addresses the production of language by
older adults with dementia (e.g., Forbes, Venneri, & Shanks, 2002), the comprehension of language given processing rate deWcits (e.g., Tun, 1998; WingWeld, 1999), or the comprehension of intergenerational speech (e.g., Kemper,
Othick, Warren, Gubarchuk, & Gerhing, 1996). Of the discourse production work that has been carried out, a distinctly multidirectional perspective
is portrayed: some aspects of speech show age-related decline, some show
improvement, and many show stability.
Many researchers have found age-related loss in the quality of speech produced when older adults are asked to describe pictures or scenes. Older adults
are described as having less coherent speech (e.g., Ulatowska, Hayashi, Cannito, & Fleming, 1986), using syntactical forms that require less working
14.
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335
memory processing (e.g., Kynette & Kemper, 1986), producing more referential errors and lexical ambiguity (e.g., Pratt, Boyes, Robins, & Manchester,
1989), producing speech that is disrupted by word retrieval problems (e.g.,
Kemper, 1992), and being overly loquacious (Obler, 1980) and verbose
(Gold, Andres, Arbuckle, & Schwartzman, 1988). Moreover, when asked to
provide a summary of a story, older adults create summaries that are less succinct, in that they contain a mixture of central and noncentral details (Byrd,
1985). Such losses have also been found across diVerent linguistic groups
(Juncos-Rabadan, 1996).
In contrast, many researchers have identiWed age-related improvements in
speech production, or at the very least qualitative diVerences in how older
adults describe scenes and events. For example, in Kemper, Kynette, Rash,
OBrien, and Sprott (1989), undergraduate and adult judges rated older
adults productions to be clearer and more interesting than those of younger
speakers. Older adults productions were also found to contain syntactically
simple sentences, and the authors proposed that these simpler sentences
may have been produced not only because of working memory deWcits, but
also because of stylistic concerns for producing interesting stories. Similarly,
Kemper, Rash, Kynette, and Norman (1990) found that individuals in their
seventh and eighth decades produced stories that were more structurally
complex (i.e., containing multiple embedded episodes), even though individual sentences tended to be syntactically simple. Similar results were obtained by Kemper (1990) when she analyzed the diary entries of Kansas pioneers. The diary entries written when the diarists were in their 70s and 80s
were judged by expert teachers to be more interesting and better written.
Pratt and Robins (1991) also analyzed personal narratives produced in the
laboratory and found that older adults were more likely to produce stories
that followed the classic narrative form; again, these stories were judged as
superior by listeners.
Finally, some studies Wnd similarities in performance across age. Glosser
and Deser (1992), for example, found no age diVerences on lexical cohesiveness or on many microlinguistic measures of discourse, and Ulatowska, Chapman, Highley, and Prince (1998) found that many global levels of processing
were maintained when longitudinal analyses were carried out from the 80s to
the 90s. Boden and Bielby (1983) found that getting-acquainted conversations did not diVer structurally, although they did diVer in terms of content.
Finally, Obler et al. (1994) compared individuals in their 30s, 50s, 60s, and
70s and pointed out that there was a great deal of variability in performance
at all age groups, and that statistically signiWcant age diVerences were often
not present. They also suggested that Wndings indicating stability of language
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14.
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337
The third group of analyses in our study addressed how the two members
of the couple shared the task of telling the story (Gould & Dixon, 1993).
One variable of particular interest here was in looking at topics (i.e., sections
of the story) where all content words were spoken by only one member of the
couple. We found that older adults were more likely to produce sequences of
these monologues, but that in older couples it was more likely that both
spouses produced some monologues. In other words, for younger couples,
when monologues were present, they were produced by mostly one speaker,
whereas older spouses were more likely to share in the production of these
monologues. Thus, the pattern of results suggests that younger and older couples were sharing the task of telling the story in fundamentally diVerent ways.
Younger couples shared the task at what we called a micro-level: Monologues
were rare and most events (and often sentences) were spoken by both partners. In contrast, the older couples seemed to be sharing the task at a more
macro-level. More monologues were produced overall by older couples, and
some older couples even stated explicitly that they were taking turns at telling
diVerent parts of the story.
In the following excerpts, some of the age-related diVerences just listed are
highlighted. The Wrst excerpt is the very end of an older couples description
of a trip to Europe taken in the 1950s, when they were in their 20s. The partners are shown to take longer turns, and they are explicitly aware of the eVect
of their storytelling on the audience. (Many of the older couples also explicitly discussed how to make the story interesting to the listener.) The second
excerpt presents the last few moments of a younger couples description of a
vacation taken in Germany a few years before.
Excerpt 1
Female (F):
M:
F:
M:
. . . and then we came home by ship. Seven days from Liverpool to Montreal and that was the last sign of luxury that
[weve seen].
[We traveled Wrst] class. They dont have classes any more on
ships. I wanted my own bathroom and they wouldnt guarantee it if you [traveled second]
[I think it was second] class or tourist
Tourist yeah so anyway we [had a beautiful] . . .
[We had a table] of four there was an elderly, to us an elderly
lady, and from Montreal and a young fellow who was a
cipher clerk in the Canadian Embassy in India I think it was,
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339
entire married life. Indeed, strong cohort diVerences are consistently found
when marriage relationships are studied (Mares & Fitzpatrick, 1995).
Most of the studies that have looked at how, or how well, older adults
accommodate to the needs of their conversational partners have looked at
intergenerational conversations. For example, Coupland and colleagues studied older womens production of painful self-disclosures (e.g., discussions of
death, illness and loneliness) during conversations with younger and middleaged women (Coupland, Coupland, Giles, & Weimann, 1988). Although
the presentation of these negative and painful disclosures is thought to have
face-saving and identity-maintenance functions for the older women (Coupland, Coupland, & Giles, 1991), they result in conversations that are uncomfortable and unpleasant for the younger partners. In contrast, Bower (1997)
found that older American-Italian men used complex discourse strategies to
avoid discussing emotionally painful topics. In our own work (Collins &
Gould, 1994), we found that in simple getting-acquainted conversations,
older women did not produce disclosures that were either more intimate or
more negative than their younger partners. They did, however, produce
slightly more self-disclosures about the past than did younger women, although the two age groups did not diVer on the production of self-disclosures
about their opinions, their present lives or their future plans. Boden and
Bielby (1983) also found that older women were more likely to discuss their
personal past during getting-acquainted conversations. Of course, it could
simply be that by virtue of being older, they have more past to discuss than
younger conversationalists. However, it may also be that, as suggested by
Boden and Bielby, older adults are Wnding common ground with their partners, and thereby establishing a positive conversational identity. At any rate,
it is important to note that at least with our healthy and relatively well-oV
sample of older women, getting-acquainted conversations were not dominated by older womens overly negative or intimate disclosures, as some
stereotypes of the elderly would suggest (Collins & Gould, 1994).
Surprisingly, relatively little research in psychology has focused on the style
and content of conversations that occur between older adults and their own
children and grandchildren. One aspect of intergenerational conversation that
is particularly fascinating is the question of what types of personal narratives
people of diVerent ages consider important in their own lives. Will family
members share a recognition of what is an important autobiographical event
and how these autobiographical memories should be recounted?
It is well established from the autobiographical memory literature that
when people of all ages are asked to remember events from their past, they are
likely to recall events that occurred when they were in late adolescence or
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341
of how identity and self are deWned through stories (e.g., Kenyon, 1996;
Pasupathi, 2001). Initial results oVer a fascinating glimpse into the process of
intergenerational family exchanges of personal experiences. Older adults do
not seem to tell stories that are more negative, or that deal with substantially
diVerent themes from those of their children and grandchildren. How such
personal narratives are received, interpreted, and appreciated by other family
members, however, is a topic that remains to be addressed in depth.
In conclusion, while some aspects of discourse production clearly reXect
age-related deWcits, some aspects show improvement, and many show stability. One valuable skill is the ability to take into account ones partner and
ones audience during conversation. This process is even more challenging
when conversations occur between individuals who belong (or are perceived
to belong) to diVerent social and age groups. The beliefs, attitudes, and
stereotypes that each member of the dyad holds toward the other may then
add another layer of complexity to the situation. While sociolinguists have
begun to broach these issues, cognitive psychologists have, for the most part,
ignored them.
EXCHANGING INFORMATION
ACROSS BOUNDARIES
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343
help their most frail and cognitively deWcient patients, these seem to be the
individuals least likely to beneWt from this speaking style. Moreover, even
the individuals who do remember more information when this speaking style
is used are going to react negatively to the speaker, and thereby may be less
willing to follow that speakers recommendations. Kemper and Harden
(1999) have established that in experimental settings, it is possible to train
speakers to use an optimal speaking style that retains the beneWcial, but not
the patronizing, dimensions of elderspeak. However, since elderspeak, like
motherese with young children, is adopted without forethought or planning by most users, it is not clear whether widespread use of such an optimal
speaking style is likely.
In the second elderspeak study (Gould, Saum, & Belter, 2002), we were
also able to better establish the complexity of the aVective reactions to the
neutral and oversimpliWed speech. The latter was rated both more positively
and more negatively by the younger and older listeners. Of particular interest
was the Wnding, in both of the elderspeak studies, that there was a strong relationship between emotional reaction and recall performance for the older,
but not the younger participants. It may very well be, as some theoretical
models (e.g., Carstensen, 1992) have proposed, that subjectivity increases in
salience in old age.
Very few studies have looked at older adults ability to adapt their speech
across multiple conversational settings. Some authors have suggested that old
age is accompanied by a lack of Xexibility in language processing. Indeed,
when older adults were asked to give directions using a map or diagram, they
did not adapt their speech (e.g., prosody and grammatical complexity) to the
age and comprehension needs of the recipient (Kemper, Vandeputte, Rice,
Cheung, & Gubarchuk, 1995; Kemper et al., 1996).
In contrast, older adults caring for a spouse with dementia have been found
to adapt their speech to help their spouse with cognitive tasks (Cavanaugh et
al., 1989; Cavanaugh, Kinney, Dunn, McGuire, & Nocera, 1994) and to
repair communication breakdowns that occur when conversing with their
spouse (e.g., Orange, Miller, Johnson, & Van Gennep, 1998). Although these
care givers have had many months or years to learn to compensate for their
spouses communicative deWcits, older adults have also been shown to adapt
to unfamiliar conversational partners. For example, Coupland, Coupland,
and Grainger (1991) present a case study of one older womans successive
conversations with two diVerent partners. The authors highlight how the
woman works with each partner to co-create a completely diVerent persona.
With the younger adult partner, she subscribes to the negative stereotypes of
old age, and this portrayal is endorsed by the younger partner. When talking
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to an age peer, she portrays herself as an active and social person who copes
well with the constraints in her life. What is most striking about this case
study is the way it highlights this older womans communicative Xexibility.
In our own work, we (Gould & Shaleen, 1999) looked at older womens
ability to adapt their speech by pairing them sequentially with two younger
and unfamiliar partners that diVered on cognitive ability. Each older woman
participated in two interactions: one with a young university student, and
the other with a person with mild mental retardation. The older woman collaborated on the same set of cognitive tasks with each partner: (a) a 3-minute
getting-acquainted session, (b) menu planning, (c) collaborative block design,
and (d) Wnding 20 things in common. Our results indicated that older
women were very adept at adapting their speaking style to meet the needs of
their partners, particularly the passiveness that characterizes the speech of
individuals with mental retardation (Kuder & Bryen, 1991). Older women
used diVerent strategies across the diVerent tasks to ensure the participation
of their less talkative partners. They used signiWcantly more questions with
MR partners than with student partners in the menu and commonalities
task, and signiWcantly more direct commands with MR partners during the
more diYcult collaborative block design.
In the Gould and Shaleen (1999) study, it was particularly remarkable that
although older participants were told nothing about their partners before the
getting-acquainted task began, adaptive communicative styles began to appear very quickly (i.e., during the Wrst 3 minutes of the testing session). For
example, when older women asked a getting-acquainted question to a student
partner, the partner tended to answer the question, and then ask one of her
own. Thus, both interactants got the opportunity to disclose personal information. However, MR partners tended to answer questions, but not ask any.
The older women quickly adopted an approach where they would ask a question, listen to the answer, and then spontaneously disclose information in
response to the question that should have been asked but wasnt. For example, many of our older participants asked their MR partner where shed grown
up, and after a few seconds, would break the silence to make a comment, such
as, Well, I grew up here and have lived here all my life. It should be noted
that these Wndings are not necessarily in disagreement with those of Kemper
et al. (1995) and Kemper et al. (1996). Indeed, while the Kemper studies
focused on older adults ability to accommodate to the partners comprehension abilities, we focused on their ability to accommodate to the partners
conversational (i.e., turn taking) abilities. In my view, weve established that
at least on some very important aspects of conversation, older women were
found to adapt very clearly to the needs of their partners.
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345
A next step is to investigate whether older women and men are willing and
able to accommodate to conversational partners in a variety of social contexts
and cognitively demanding situations. If we can gain a better understanding
of how Xexible older adults are as conversationalists, we can begin to understand the delights and the frustrations of intergenerational conversations.
Why do some grandchildren cherish conversations with grandparents, while
others Wnd them frustrating and boring? Are older adults unable to handle
the cognitive load of speaking and at the same time monitoring recipients
reactionsespecially when the recipient belongs to a diVerent age or social
cohort? Or do many grandparents consciously choose to transgress their
grandchildrens discourse and interpersonal expectations?
The main theme underlying most of the research discussed in this chapter is
that cognitive factors play an important role in deWning how intra- and intergenerational communication occurs. The stories we tell to describe our family to others and to describe ourselves to our own family are a fascinating
mixture of memory and imagination, and of logic and emotion. For too long,
cognitive developmentalists have looked at memory independently of why
information is being recalled, and at language independently of who is being
addressed. By the same token, social developmentalists have too often focused
on relationships without considering the cognitive abilities of the people in
these relationships.
A second theme in this chapter is that understanding communicative abilities of older adults is going to require both a multidirectional and a multidimensional perspective. In other words, simple decremental (or for that matter incremental) models are not suYcient. A much more complex and potentially useful perspective involves exploring the delicate equilibrium between
abilities that improve with age, abilities that decline, abilities that are compensated for, and abilities that are abandoned (either willingly or otherwise).
In the present chapter, I have attempted to provide examples of ways that
my colleagues and I have explored these ideas. One example is the interaction
between the complex set of cognitive and social variables that are required for
co-recalling, co-telling, and co-accommodating. The cognitive demands of
coordinating, in real time, ones own verbal productions and those of someone else are substantial. Yet, despite well-established working memory losses,
older adults manage, and sometimes excel at, collaboration and storytelling. A second example is the possibility that old age is accompanied by an
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H OW AG E M AT T E R S
of diVerent generations use diVerent conversational styles, when do they perceive the other as entertaining rather than ornery? In my view, we will need
both cognitive and social perspectives to answer such questions, and to
understand how family narratives are created and used.
In conclusion, the main goal of this chapter has been to highlight many
questions and possibilities that my colleagues and I Wnd interesting and productive. Empirical research on many of these topics is sorely lacking. Even
more important is work that integrates cognitive psychology with other theoretical and empirical traditions. If we want to understand the complex and
fascinating phenomena reviewed here, discourse between scholars is as necessary as discourse between and by aging study participants.
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15
As Long as They Go Back Down the
Driveway at the End of the Day:
Stories of the Satisfactions
and Challenges of Grandparenthood
Joan E. Norris
Stephanie Kuiack
University of Guelph
Michael W. Pratt
Wilfrid Laurier University
When I became a grandmother, I said to myself that I wasnt going to be
one of these grandmothers thats always talking about her grandchildren,
but I found that I could only do that a certain length of time. Someone
will come along and ask about your grandchildren and Wrst thing you
know you are in the grandmother class and you are kind of glad to be
there. I used to think, well, its just a child like your own, but it is diVerent. You look at them and you think, well for one thing, you are not
responsible for them. You just enjoy them and you look at them and you
wonder how they are going to unfold and blossom, what their personality
will be and who. It is quite an extra dimension that I didnt know was
possible until I experienced it.
Mrs. Sparks, grandmother of four (Norris & Tari, 1985)
354
parents who act as surrogate parents (Giarrusso, Feng, Silverstein, & Bengtson, 2001). The sheer availability of older adults within a family, then, makes
it likely that children will have the opportunity to form a relationship with at
least one grandparent well into their adult years.
But what kind of relationship will this be? A challenge for contemporary
family scientists is to do justice to the remarkable diversity within and across
families, and to understand how this diversity aVects interactions and relationships. Nowhere is this challenge greater than if one considers the situation of grandparents. Not only do these adults diVer in the generational place
they may hold with the family, they also can vary widely in age, onset of
grandparenthood, and the experience of life events such as work, divorce, and
simultaneous care giving for multiple generations of older and younger family members. The situation of this 58-year-old grandfather of nine is not
unusual: Weve still got two sons at home, so you dont miss children, if you
know what I mean. Like other grandparents dont have any children at home
so they really think its a big deal to have kids around. Well at times Dora
and I just wish they would all go away and leave us alone! (Norris & Tari,
1985, p. 3).
In this chapter, we explore one method by which the variability in intergenerational interaction and relationship building may be examined: that is,
through storytelling. By storytelling, we mean the narratives that grandparents weave into their interactions with others. These narratives include stories
told to grandchildren about grandparents personal history, that of the family,
and of the world that they grew up in. They also include stories told about
grandchildren to others in their family and larger social networks. When such
narratives occur within an intergenerational context, they have at least four
separate functions: building a relationship, education about personal and historical events, value transmission, and the expression of generativity. We
examine research on these four functions and provide examples to demonstrate their role in building and maintaining relationships across the generations. Throughout the chapter, an intergenerational family systems approach
guides our analysis, reminding us of the multiple times, relationships, and
generations that inXuence the narrative of any family.
Despite acknowledging the variability inherent within and across grandparenting experiences, many researchers have been intent on identifying normative roles. As we have noted elsewhere, this approach has resulted in a
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I like to take Susan by the hand for a walk down to the pond and I tell her
stories and she listens to them. We have a little house out there in the woods
and I tell her that is where the tree bears lived and she has a big imagination
and she will ask me to take her out to see the bears. I take great pride in taking her for a walk up into the wood and showing her around (65-year-old
grandfather; Norris & Tari, 1985).
When a child asks for a bedtime story, she is probably not asking to be
educated or socialized! All of us enjoy sharing a good story, one with coherence, a little excitement or complexity, and a satisfactory conclusion. Our
research demonstrates that listeners of all ages recognize these qualities in the
narratives they hear and read (Pratt & Robins, 1991). Studs Terkel (2002),
that master weaver of other peoples stories, tells us to Find your Florence,
the person in your family who can really tell the story well and delights in
doing so. Not everyone enjoys this role, but according to many researchers, a
familys storyteller is likely to be an older member (Nussbaum & Bettini,
1994). Perhaps, then, the main reason grandparents tell stories to their grandchildren is just for the pleasure of it. This function has been overlooked in the
literature on grandparenting, and largely in the literature on narrative as well,
yet it is vital.
Part of the pleasure of sharing a good story is, of course, the interconnection it can make between people. As Ryan, Pearce, Anas, and Norriss analyses of grandparents writing in the next chapter reveal, telling a loved one a
story creates a vital connection between two people. It builds on and adds to
the shared experiences of the teller and listener. Telling a well-loved family
anecdote engages both teller and listener in a ritual that can connect current
and past generations (Norris et al., 2003). The grandfather quoted at the
beginning of this subsection has obviously created an imaginative narrative
for his granddaughter, but sharing the stories of others can also have its
rewards, as this 77-year-old great-grandmother, interviewed about the meaning of grandparenthood, observed: Ive got to Wnish reading The Old Man
and the Sea by Hemingway. It is so interesting. I promised Rob, my 16-yearold great-grandson, that Id read it and help him put an essay together on it.
. . . Will do my best to try and help him. I love to see all my grandchildren
(Norris & Tindale, 1994, p. 71).
Kennedy (1992) found that grandchildren of all ages sought out their
grandparents for comfort, support, and advice, and argued that they did so
even more than young people of several decades ago. If there is such an
increase, it may be due in part to changes in family structure that encourage
358
intergenerational requests for contact and assistance (Norris & Tindale, 1994).
Kennedy and Kennedy (1993), for example, found that there were closer and
more active relationships between grandparents and grandchildren in stepfamilies and single-parent families than between grandparents and grandchildren in intact Wrst families. Although there is as yet no research on this
subject, it is possible that in the face of recent diYcult and frightening world
events, children may be more likely to ask for the close connection and reassurance that a grandparents presence and perspective can provide. Personal
stories of challenge and survival are inspiring to those with worries about
their own future and that of their generation.
Learning About Family and Social History
Ryan and colleagues (Ryan, Elliot, & Anas, 2000; Ryan, Elliot, & Meredith,
1999; Ryan et al., this volume) report that grandparents tell many stories to
their grandchildren of their youth, the intergenerational history of their
grandchilds family, and their personal perspectives on major historical events
such as the Depression and World War II. Telling these stories appears to
strengthen intergenerational connections as well as to educate other generations about the past (e.g., Putney & Bengtson, 2001). Older adults have a
great deal of investment in the future of their families and usually view other
family members as closer and more similar to them than do those members
in return. Sharing personal histories may be one way to enhance these similarities. The work on storytelling among Holocaust survivors and their families, for example, indicates that grandparents intentionally try to reinforce
family cohesiveness and unityas well as a distrust of nonfamily members
through their reXections on that tragedy (Chaitin, 2002).
A positive relationship with grandparents encourages the incorporation of
such values and attitudes into the personal stories of younger family members, and facilitates their identity development (Hayslip, Shore, & Henderson, 2000; see also Pratt & Fiese, this volume). Outwardly, a teenaged boy,
concerned that he has the right brand of skateboard and properly spiked hair,
might not seem concerned about maintaining Grandmas Sunday dinner tradition. Nevertheless, even he is likely to retain some vestige of her belief in
family rituals (Kopera-Frye & Wiscott, 2000), more strongly if Grandma has
managed to Wnd a role for this dinner tradition in the overall family story that
she is trying to preserve. Manoogian (2002) found that these family stories
are an essential part of the legacy that grandmothers strive to provide for their
grandchildren. For the Armenian Americans in this study, where there was
virtually nothing tangible left to pass on to future generations, legacies were
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seen to play an essential role in adolescents identity development. In Manoogians research, cultural assimilation of grandchildren was acutely painful
to these refugees because their stories, traditions, and values were all that they
could provide to link these young people to their roots.
Some of our own research also underscores the importance of intergenerational connection in the lives and stories of older adults (Norris & Tari,
1985). This investigation focused on 33 grandmothers and grandfathers who
were interviewed at least twice about the meaning of being a grandparent in
the context of other important roles, activities, and events in their lives. One
question of particular interest was the perception of intergenerational similarity in grandparenting styles through generations of the family. Thus, these
older adults were asked to reXect on the kind of grandparents that their own
parents and grandparents had been. Interestingly, most of these grandparents
did not highlight past intergenerational similarity, but stressed that their
approaches to their grandchildren were consistent with those used by their
adult children. Modern child-rearing strategies, while perhaps not wholeheartedly endorsed, were at least respected. Their own grandparents, on the
other hand, were frequently characterized as rigid disciplinarians who had little time for children. Consider this 65-year-old womans reXection on previous generations of grandparents: My mother was, well she didnt show too
much aVection [to my children]. She never showed much aVection, even
though I know that she loved them but she couldnt show it. I can kind of
picture what Ive seen of my mothers parents, and her parents were very, very
strict, very, very strict.
Another grandmother in her early 60s provides a similar story of grandparental uninvolvement, in contrast to her own active pattern of relating to
her grandchildren: I cant really tell you, but they would sit in a chair and
justlike Im a grandparent and we dont sit in a chair when our kids come,
we run around with them. They never ran around with us or played with us.
They talked to us, yes. They talked to us and told us what was right and
wrong. My grandfather sat in a chair and smoked his pipe while he met my
husband-to-be and he was smoking and he said, I like that lad because he
doesnt smoke, and he was smoking all the time his pipe. But they were very
religious Baptists just the same.
Seen from the perspective of intergenerational family systems, patterns of
relating must be understood in the context of perceptions of the familys past
and current traditions, values, and relationships, as well as hopes and beliefs
for the future. Grandparents are in a critical generational position, balancing
a need for closeness and similarity with their children and grandchildren with
a need to remain anchored in the important values of the familys past. It is
360
not surprising, then, that the grandparents in our research provide sympathetic stories about their own parents and grandparents approach to grandchildren, while making it clear that they have more up-to-date methods of
relating and socializing with their own grandchildren. Modern grandparents
see endorsement in the value of hard work in their own grandparents stern
approach to life, while presenting this value to their grandchildren through
stories that have a gentler touch, ones that Wt current social norms and childrearing approaches.
Values Transmission
While babysitting a while ago, I caught my granddaughter lying about a situation and blaming someone else for something she had done. I tried to stress
upon her she would get into more trouble for lying than she would for the
actual incident. She was punished for both, more severely for lying. To my
knowledge, she has not lied to me since. I think I got through to her it is better to own up at the beginning (DeForge, 2002).
One of the most common motives attributed to grandparents who tell stories to their grandchildren is that of teaching important personal and family
values (e.g., Kandell, 1996). Bengtson has termed the intergenerational sharing of beliefs and values consensual solidarity, and notes that many social
theorists have regarded the successful socialization of grandchildren by their
grandparents to be evidence of social stability (Silverstein et al., 1998). Our
own work within an intergenerational systems framework underscores the
perceived importance of shared family values to all family members, but
particularly to grandparents. In one study (Smith, Norris, Pratt, & Arnold,
1998), we asked 84 unrelated adults stratiWed into three age groups (1830;
3163; 65+) to select, from a list of ten core values (e.g., honesty, kindness,
justice), three that they felt their grandparents and had tried to pass on to
them, three that their parents had tried to instill, and three that they had tried
(or would like to try) to transmit to their own children. Responses indicated
more intergenerational consistency in the values picked by the oldest sample
than in those selected by the young. It is, of course, possible that this generational diVerence in perception is due, in part, to cohort diVerences in
the importance of certain family values. Nevertheless, there was also evidence in our Wndings that values consistency can be linked at least as much
to relationship quality and patterns of interaction. When individuals came
from families with more frequent intergenerational contact and feelings of
emotional closeness, they were more likely to report value similarity across
generations.
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In a second study (DeForge, 2002), we examined the shared intergenerational values of 35 families: grandparents, parents, and 8-year-old eldest children. In this study, we once again used the same list of ten core values, as well
as following up by asking parents and grandparents to provide us with stories
that illustrated their eVorts at transmitting these values to the children. Using
our values list, we found substantial similarity within families, including that
between children and grandparentsmuch greater than would be expected
by chance. In fact, intergenerational consistency was sometimes greater than
that within generations (i.e., between mothers and fathers). Even more compelling, perhaps, were parents and grandparents stories. In the case of the
Wilson family, for example, the child chose honest and truthful from our
list of values. Independently, both parents and the maternal grandmother
provided stories that illustrated their attempts to transmit this value:
Mother:
I said to her, You are still in big trouble, but I am glad that you
told me the truth and you are going to get this punishment
instead of this great big one because you didnt lie. It had been
years of telling her that if she tells the truth she will get in less
trouble.
Father:
It is better to tell the truth and get punished, and one thing we
did learn, she did learn that if she lied and then got caught the
punishment would be far worse.
Grandmother: I tried to stress upon my granddaughter that she would get into
more trouble for lying than she would for the actual incident.
She was punished for both, more severely for lying.
Generativity, in Eriksons (1963) life span developmental framework, represents the period of midlife when adults are said to invest especially in the care
of future generations as a legacy of the self. The prototype of this period is
parenting, and indeed previous work has suggested that high levels of gener-
362
ativity in midlife are associated with more engaged and eVective parenting of
children and adolescents (McAdams, 2001; Peterson, Smirles, & Wentworth,
1997; Pratt, Danso, Arnold, Norris, & Filyer, 2001). However, it seems plausible that individual variations in generativity may remain an important predictor of diVerent patterns of engagement in family roles into later adulthood
as well (Norris et al., 2003). As already discussed, family stories can play an
important role in socializing the young into both the family and its history
and traditions, as well as into the wider culture and its values. Given this, how
might variations in levels of generativity among older adults be related to the
sorts of family stories that they tell? We conceive of generativity among
grandparents as a moderator of the ways that storytelling goals are manifested. In this section, we describe two relevant studies, one with a general
sample of older adults, and one including a family sample of grandparents.
In the initial study, we investigated how younger and older adults drew on
their own personal life stories in the teaching of values to youngsters (Pratt,
Norris, Arnold, & Filyer, 1999). In a previous study by McAdams, Diamond,
de St. Aubin, and MansWeld (1997), midlife adults who were identiWed as
very high on generativity by the nominations of others were likely to tell distinctive life stories in several ways, compared to a less generative group of
adults. These diVerences often were expressed in optimistic themes among
the highly generative. For example, generative adults focused on feelings of
special opportunities (early blessings) in their early family lives that they felt
needed to be reciprocated or given back in later life, as well as on redemptive structures in their stories. Redemption structures are episodes that involve negative events that are followed by or transformed into an event or
outcome that is positive. Such redemptively oriented stories are of course
widely available, and popular, in our culture. One thinks of A Christmas Carol
(Dickens, 1986) or the recent A Beautiful Mind (Nasar, 1998). McAdams et
al.s results suggest that generative people may appropriate such structures
into their personal life narratives more readily than do others (e.g., McAdams
& Bowman, 2001).
In a follow-up to the McAdams study, we investigated the kinds of stories
told by 130 younger (2030), middle-aged (3050), and older (60+) adults
about the personal life experiences that they selected as appropriate for the
purpose of teaching values to the younger generation (Pratt et al., 1999). People were asked to tell two life stories, one teaching about any value they
wished to choose, and a second that was speciWc to teaching about the value
of honesty. Here is the story of a 70-year-old woman, high on McAdamss
standard measure of generativity, the Loyola Generativity Scale, about a personal experience that she would use to teach honesty (Pratt et al., 1999):
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I was a mediocre student and I used to absolutely hate geometry. One time we
were given this homework assignment to do and I couldnt, and so the next day
when I went to school, I didnt want to tell the teacher I hadnt done it because
she was a real battle-axe and I was scared of her. So what I did was I selected
one of the books from the girls who had handed their assignments in, and went
to the washroom and I copied it into my book. I felt quite content, but then
two days later I got my book back, and the teacher said on the bottom, Please
see me. So the girl Id copied from also had a note and we went to see the
teacher. And so of course I had to own up to the fact that Id copied and it just
happened to be the wrong book, because we both had these same silly answers
to the question. So I was really scared, but the teacher sat down and had a good
talk with me, and she said, Im going to help you understand. And from that
moment on, I realized she wasnt so horrible, and she really helped me a lot.
I was scared out of my wits, but as soon as Id managed to explain what happened I felt as if a heavy burden had been lifted. . . . And so I told this story to
my daughter, who was having problems in another subject, and she did this
exact same thing. And I was able to help her realize it was the wrong thing to
do with my example because Id done it myself. (p. 422)
This story in fact clearly shows the elements of both generative themes
(caring for the young) and redemptive structures that involve turning bad
events into good. Several results from the study help to demonstrate the
importance of variations in generativity for the stories of older adults. First,
older adults in our sample were more likely to tell stories for children that
had generative themes, and as likely to tell redemptively structured episodes,
as were the two younger age groups (Pratt et al., 1999). Second, like the
Wndings of McAdams et al. (1997), older adults who were higher on generative concern on a questionnaire (the standard Loyola Generativity Scale of
McAdams and de St. Aubin, 1992) were more likely to tell personal stories
that included these two key properties of generative themes and redemptive
structures. Third, stories by those in all age groups, including the oldest,
that had these two properties were judged by a panel of raters who read and
rated the stories without any instructions to be more interesting and engaging overall. Presumably, then, they might be more meaningful and memorable as value messages as well, though we do not have direct evidence on
this point. Finally, generative older adults were more likely than nongenerative adults to express motivation for teaching values to the younger generation (Pratt et al., 1999). These Wndings, then, suggested that generativity
among older adults was linked to both greater investment in socialization
processes and diVerent styles of narrating the life story in the service of such
socialization.
364
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all, but when we babysit them or visit them we know that theyre going back
to their parents, so its not the same as your own kids. So most situations, I
leave it up to the parents. I guess you could call it chickening out ha-ha!
These latter comments are hardly unusual among grandparents, who often
seek to minimize the disciplinary aspects of their role, as we noted earlier.
Then, too, issues of generational diVerences in discipline are often problematic, and this may be one way to limit friction around them (Smith, 1995).
But contrast this view with the quite speciWc story written by a highly generative grandmother: One day while my husband, Sandy and myself were at
the park, we ran into a group of kids. Instead of playing nicely with each
other, they were picking on one little boy, calling him names, and saying
mean things. You could see the hurt on his face, in his eyes. When Sandy
asked why they were being so mean, we explained that the names they were
calling him had to do with where the boys family was from. We explained to
Sandy that it does not matter about where people come from, or the color of
their skin. Everyone is the same.
Among the value teaching stories of grandparents, 82% of those above the
median score on the LGS told a story that was judged concrete and speciWc,
like the preceding example of Sandy, according to our coding system. For
those who were low on the LGS, however, only 50% wrote a story about
a speciWc episode of value teaching, a signiWcant diVerence by chi-square
(p < .05), suggesting evidence of more speciWc socialization engagement for
more generative grandparents.
While most grandparents were enthusiastic when asked to tell of episodes
of pride in their grandchildren, more generative grandparents diVered from
less generative grandparents in being better able to articulate speciWc qualities
of the child that made them feel this way. For example, one highly generative
grandmother said, Last Christmas, Billy got a toy at the dinner table. His
younger cousin did not like the toy he got and began to cry. Billy quickly
oVered to trade toys with Andy. I feel Billy is very sensitive and thoughtful,
and Im proud of him as a person. Less generative grandparents had trouble
coming up with speciWc experiences; some said they could think of none, or
simply said they were always proud. Some, as in the example here from a
grandmother who scored low on the LGS, talked more about how the child
had been nice to, or proud of, them. My story is about the pictures that
Mary drew of my dog, and all the pictures shes sent me over the years. Ive
kept them in a box, so shell have them, long after Im gone. I also get lots of
photos and when I phone her mom, she always says, Hi, Grandma. This
makes me feel really good.
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CONCLUSIONS
We have noted that with increasing longevity and the verticalization of the
family, there are likely to be more living grandparents and a greater likelihood
that younger members of any family will have the opportunity for a relationship with grandparents. Increased interest in the role of grandparents in the
family has resulted in literature that attempts to create rather simplistic typologies for how grandparents behave. This approach has met with mixed success, and may actually obscure our understanding of the interaction between
younger and older family members and the negotiation of relationships
between them.
The theoretical framework of the Intergenerational Family Systems Model
(Norris et al., 2003) permits an exploration of how relationships are negotiated between younger and older family members. This model directs researchers attention to the bidirectional inXuences of each family member in
socializing one another to patterns of belief and behaviors. Socialization is
inXuenced by memories and beliefs about the past, as well as by hopes for
the future. A family systems approach also encourages consideration of inXuences from extended kin (such as aunts or uncles), Wctive kin, and steprelationships. Further, it acknowledges the dynamic nature of the family systemthe time element directs our attention to development of individuals
in the family and the eVect of this development on the family system as a
whole.
In this chapter, we have emphasized that one method by which intergenerational interaction and relationship building may be examined is through
the study of storytelling. Our research indicates that there are at least four
functions of storytelling within intergenerational relations: building the relationship, education about personal and historical events, value transmission,
and the expression of generativity. This chapter has examined research on
these four functions and provided examples to demonstrate their role in relationships across the generations. These functions of storytelling, not surprisingly, overlap considerably with the themes identiWed in grandparents written stories composed for grandchildren, as described in the chapter by Ryan
et al. (this volume). For example, grandparents in this work point to the
importance of narrative as a means of telling their own stories, bringing their
experiences of world history alive, and oVering advice. Grandchildren in
the same studies express an appreciation of their grandparents eVorts to
strengthen family relationships and to explain personal and family histories.
As well, they note their own reciprocal eVorts at providing advice and linking
368
the culture of their own generation to that of their grandparents. Both generations underscore our argument that intergenerational storytelling fulWlls
important roles in building relationships and promoting a sense of history
and shared values within families.
Relationships between younger and older family members may be built
through storytelling. Storytelling can be entertaining, both for the listener
and for the storyteller, and can create a connection between the two. Family
history also can be transferred across generations in this manner and represents a way to make sense of where one has come from. Relationships may
also be built speciWcally by the sharing of personal or historical events. Appreciating the events leading up to the present day in the form of familial history
provides any family member with a sense of personal history, identity, and
validation. Sharing important familial values through storytelling allows the
older generation to impart the wisdom of their own experiences in a manner
that younger family members may apply to their own lives. These concrete
and personal stories may represent guideposts for how to behave in ambiguous or challenging situations, and adults often refer to such exemplars in their
own life tales (Pratt & Norris, 1999). Finally, a sense of generativity on the
part of the older family members, or an attempt to strength family ties across
the generations, can be both accomplished and expressed through storytelling. As we have argued, the various functions of storytelling in the grandparent role may be especially salient and frequent among those who are more
generative in their personal life tasks and roles. These Wndings suggest that
generativity remains an important element within the family beyond the
period of midlife and parenting (e.g., Pratt et al., 1999), well into the roles of
later life, and serves as a moderator variable in guiding how these important
functions of storytelling are expressed.
Our work suggests that intergenerational families would do well to follow
the lead of Studs Terkel and put some eVort into uncovering the personal
narratives of older members. The increasing diversity and complexity of
families make it less likely that some traditions and values will endure
through generations. But one could argue that there was never a time when
it was more important for children to feel rooted, secure, and conWdent
about the future. If family storytelling were to be lost to mass-produced
entertainment, then an important means of establishing intergenerational
connections will have been lost as well. Those who are fortunate enough to
have living grandparents do not need to rely on media portrayals of older
people as embodiments of important values and models of successful aging.
More relevant inspiration is closer at hand. Indeed, with the growing numbers of older adults who act as surrogate parents to their grandchildren,
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370
Grandparents:
Take any opportunity for communication. If you wait for a cozy
moment in a rocking chair, this may never come especially as a
young child grows older. Instead, explore your grandchilds interest
in video games. How does a war game like Medal of Honor relate
to your experiences as veteran?
Write an e-mail and enroll in an online chat service. Kids love to get
mail, but are not likely to write a letter in return. You can get a faster,
more interactive response using their technology. This is true even if
you live next door.
If you live nearby, help your grandchildren with their homework. Children have many assignments that require a broad perspective on the
world and provide an opportunity to explore your views and values.
Expose your grandchildren to the activities about which you are passionate. Stories easily emerge as you explain why you love to cook, volunteer with the food bank, or are an active advocate for animal welfare.
Parents:
Have an open-door policy. Whatever your relationship with your
parents, remember that they are important to your children.
Invite your parents to babysit. Most grandparents are happy for an
opportunity to see and interact with their grandchildren for a
limited period.
Keep your parents informed about the activities of your children. If
your father knows that your son is an avid hockey player, it becomes
much easier to talk about his experiences in the small town arena.
Grandchildren:
Ask your grandparents for help with your homework, your naturalist
badge for Scouts, or a ride to the ballet studio. They welcome some
private time with you, and are often more patient than your parents.
Get your grandparents to tell you about the time your mom or dad
was a problem for them. Grandparents love to do this! And it provides
for very entertaining stories for you.
Share your knowledge of technology. If your grandparents can send
you an e-mail, or you can send them your latest artwork as an attachment in your return message, youll both feel a sense of accomplishment and have a special way of interacting.
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ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
The research reported in this chapter was supported in part by Social Sciences
and Humanities Research Council of Canada grants to authors Pratt, Norris,
and to Mary Louise Arnold.
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16
Writing a Connection:
Intergenerational
Communication Through Stories
Ellen Bouchard Ryan
McMaster University
Kristine A. Pearce
University of Toronto
Ann P. Anas
McMaster University
Joan E. Norris
University of Guelph
Everyone needs to have access both to grandparents and grandchildren in
order to be a full human being.
Mead, 1972, p. 311
One of the most important relationships many people experience within their
lifetime is that between grandparent and grandchild. The experience of having been a grandchild and then a grandparent gives one a true stake in humanity through connections back in time two generations and forward two
generations (Norris, Pratt, & Kuiack, in press). These connections are forged
through communication, including the sharing of stories.
As people begin to live longer and healthier lives, greater numbers of people
will be undertaking the role of the grandparent for longer periods (Giarrusso,
375
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RYA N E T A L .
Silverstein, & Bengtson, 1996; Kennedy, 1990). This increase in grandparenting can signiWcantly aVect society, as both grandparents and their grandchildren have much to gain and contribute through this special family relationship. Yet, it is sometimes diYcult for younger and older family members
to communicate with each other because of diVerent interests, stereotypes of
aging, geographical distance, and the fast pace of contemporary life.
In this chapter, we explore story writing as a means of bridging the generations. First, we brieXy review the literature concerning the relationships
between grandparents and grandchildren and the role of storytelling within
those relationships. Second, we present a narrative analysis of letters and stories written by grandparents for grandchildren and by grandchildren for their
grandparents. Major themes from both grandparent and grandchild writings
are described, in addition to speciWc beneWts associated with intergenerational communication through writing. Finally, we discuss the implications of
this study in terms of grandparent-grandchild relationships and the importance for older adults to record their life stories for family.
Communication Between Grandparents
and Grandchildren
Scholars have described the many roles grandparents play in their grandchildrens lives. Grandparents give grandchildren love and aVection, support,
trust, connections to the past, family heritage, and moral values, and they act
as role models (Brussoni & Boon, 1998; Kalliopuska, 1994, Kornhaber, 1996;
Szinovacz, 1998). In return, grandchildren give grandparents joy, inspiration,
love, and hope for the future (Kalliopuska, 1994).
The roles and meanings of grandparent-grandchild relationships are highly
diverse in modern North American society (Silverstein, Giarrusso, & Bengtson, 1998; Strom et al., 1999; Tomlin, 1998; Williams & Nussbaum, 2001).
Major sources of variability include cultural diVerences, gender of grandparent, parental divorce, and cases where the grandparent takes on the role of the
parent. Moreover, roles and the relationship inevitably change as the grandparent and the grandchild traverse through the stages of life (Norris & Tindale, 1994; Roberto & Skoglund, 1996). For example, individual variability
in the meaning of grandparenthood has been assessed by Kivnick (1983).
Life-history interviews were carried out with grandparents aged 40 to 90 years,
yielding Wve dimensions in the meaning of grandparenthood: centrality
grandparenthood central to an older persons life; valued elder passing on
tradition and being valued in the role; immortality through clan commit-
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I N T E RG E N E R AT I O N A L C O M M U N I C AT I O N
377
ment to the future of the family; reinvolvement with personal past identiWcation with own grandparents; indulgence leniency towards grandchildren. It is problematic to apply this typology to all grandparents, because
additional diversity is quite likely (Norris & Tindale, 1994). Nevertheless, the
conceptualization does remind researchers of the underlying importance and
richness of the grandparenting role to older adults.
It is often diYcult for grandparents and grandchildren to maintain optimal relationships with each other (Harwood & Lin, 2000; Silverstein et al.,
1998; Williams & Nussbaum, 2001). The increased pace of life associated
with technological change can make it diYcult for diVerent generations to
connect. Young people may be busy and have little contact in general with
older people, whom they might consider slow and out of date. The relationship can be strained by the diYculties of some life stages such as adolescence
for grandchildren and frailty of extreme old age for grandparents. Geographical distance may exacerbate the impact of these potential obstacles. Yet, level
of satisfaction can remain high even with declining frequency of contact as
grandchildren age, and the relationship can be enriched by eVorts on the part
of grandparents and/or grandchildren at any stage of their lives (Kornhaber,
1996; Tomlin, 1998). In most families, the generations adapt to changing circumstances to support and maintain cherished beliefs, values, and patterns of
relating (Norris et al., in press).
Storytelling
Societies all over the world have especially valued the stories of their older
members as a way of passing on the wisdom of experience from generation to
generation (Kenyon, 1996, 2002; McAdams, Diamond, St. Aubin, & MansWeld, 1997; Mergler & Goldstein, 1983). Older persons can fulWll their call
to generativity by transmitting cultural and family values through stories for
their grandchildren (Norris, Kuiack, & Pratt, this volume). In contemporary
North America, stories told by older adults are viewed as more eVective than
those told by young adults (Adams-Price, 1998; Pratt & Robins, 1991).
The act of sharing stories has long been associated with the grandparents
role, and is one of the most frequently recorded types of exchange between
grandparents and grandchildren (Kornhaber, 1996; McKay & Caverly, 1995;
Tomlin, 1998). Grandparents play a crucial role in passing on information
about family members and historical events through storytelling. This activity facilitates identity formation and builds strong relationships between the
grandchildren and all of their family members (see Norris, Kuiack, & Pratt,
378
RYA N E T A L .
this volume; Pratt & Fiese, this volume). In addition, grandparents use
stories to teach moral values even as they entertain and establish a sense of
closeness.
Nussbaum and Bettini (1994) conducted a study in which college students
shared stories reXecting the meaning of life with one of their grandparents.
Gender diVerences occurred, in which grandfathers spoke more reticently
and more about mastery, while grandmothers were more likely to emphasize
the salience of family to their deWnition of self and to their happiness. Grandchildren rarely told stories, but rather oVered lists of qualities or a set of
points. The contrasting Xuency of grandparent stories suggests that storytelling tends to be unidirectional from grandparent to grandchild in many
families.
Story Writing
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I N T E RG E N E R AT I O N A L C O M M U N I C AT I O N
379
380
RYA N E T A L .
in the grandparent-grandchild relationship. Thematic analysis has been identiWed as possessing many beneWts, because it addresses the individuals point
of view, experiences, life views, and beliefs (Luborsky, 1994). We used both
approaches outlined by Luborsky (1994) to discover themes: searching for
repeated or recurring statements, and examining statements marked by the
author as being especially signiWcant. This approach is well established in
other research on narrative content, including studies of grandparenting (e.g.,
Roberto, Allen, & Blieszner, 2001). An open coding system was used to create a complete list of themes and patterns in the writing. During this process,
input was obtained from two of the other chapter authors. Where there were
disagreements about which themes were present or where themes overlapped,
discussions were held to reach consensus. Each story quotation given
throughout the remainder of this chapter is identiWed with a code corresponding to Book I or Book II and the number of the Wrst page of the story.
Grandparent Themes
The most evident themes identiWed in the older adults stories were: history,
family, advice, and life story. Also, the stories provided a window into the various relationships that many grandparents share with their grandchildren.
One of the most common themes that emerged from the older
adults stories was the theme of history. The majority of references to history
focused on the war, the Depression, and the conveniences that society now
has acquired compared to those that were available in the past. Historical
examples from the stories include:
History.
It may seem strange to you why anybody would run for 5 miles to get a popsicle, when in those days a popsicle was only worth 3 cents, but these were the
days of the Great Depression and even 3 cents were hard to come by. (Book I,
p. 52)
The world of today has brought many wonderful changes. To hear from my
Mother I had to wait three weeks for a letter to come by ship. My granddaughter talks to her Mother on the E-mail three times a week . . . I bless the
technical world of today; it keeps her close to all of us. (Book I, p. 93)
We grabbed a couple of blankets and Skipper . . . hurried down to Citadel Hill.
From time to time the sky would light up with the glow from an explosion. I
never did understand what all the minor explosions were about but they were
deWnitely there throughout the night. (Halifax Explosion, December 1917;
Book II, p. 28)
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I N T E RG E N E R AT I O N A L C O M M U N I C AT I O N
381
The use of speciWc historical examples in the older adults stories supports
the notion that grandparents undertake the role of the provider of history to
the younger generation (Kornhaber, 1996; McKay & Caverly, 1995; Roberto
& Skoglund, 1996). Through the use of concrete and personal experiences, as
shared in the grandparents stories, grandchildren may begin to interpret historical events as having had a personal impact on their own family. Since the
younger generation has not been directly exposed to similar historical experiences such as the World Wars, grandparents may view their grandchildren as
being remote to these particular experiences. This gap in historical knowledge between the generations may provide grandparents with the opportunity to enlighten their grandchildren about history through the act of writing.
Similarly, grandchildren may become more interested in their grandparents
lives, and in historical events in general as they come to see their own personal, family connections to the past. Ultimately, understanding ones personal connection to the past may lead to the establishment of a new relationship between the two generations.
Family. Similar to the theme describing historical events, many older
adults wrote to their grandchildren about their family history. Stories in
which this theme emerged often described family members with whom the
grandchild had not been acquainted. Examples of this theme include:
You never knew your great grandparents, at least on your fathers side, but I
know youre interested. Since I love to tell stories, I thought Id like to share
with you a little walk down memory lane . . . My mother, Katie, your great
Grandma, was the youngest of twelve children, born in 1884, pioneer times in
the pioneer country of Grey County. (Book I, p. 22)
[Grandpa] said that when he was a little boy, his grandfather, born in 1790 in
a log cabin in our area, used to get up about four oclock in the morning . . .
This was the man whose portrait, darkened with age, hung in a heavy frame on
the wall behind us. I had never had any idea that it represented a real person
. . . I had heard almost nothing about our predecessors. (Book I, p. 62)
I think that most of us during our lifetime wonder about our roots. We are
curious about our ancestors, and from which set of parents we inherited certain
traits, and set of values . . . my father, William Burton Allen, was a descendent
of the Empire Loyalists . . . my other great-great-great-great-great-grandfather
was one of the Wrst Yorkshire settlers to emigrate to Canada, in 1772. (Book II,
p. 132)
382
RYA N E T A L .
the descriptions of the family ancestors, older adults are able to describe to the
grandchild where they see themselves as belonging within the larger family
history. Writing about the familys history may thereby provide for some
older adults the opportunity to develop a coherent story about ones self.
The older adult may also be able to use story writing as a means for evaluating ones life in relation to the larger family. As one author writes, much of
what I have preserved would otherwise have been lost forever. Knowledge of
my forbearers achievements has given me encouragement and strength when
times were diYcult (Book I, p. 62). This writer appears to feel a sense of
worth from being able to preserve and learn from the family history.
The stories discussing family history also provided the grandchildren with
an opportunity to learn about people that they might not have personally
known or whom they may have only known through hearing stories about
them. Learning about ones family ethnic roots, for example, appears to
help grandchildren to establish their sense of identity a common challenge
encountered by young people (Giarrusso, Feng, Silverstein, & Bengtson,
2001). A sense of identity may be fostered as the grandchildren begin to see
themselves in relation to the people described in the stories. SpeciWcally, they
may learn whom they resemble, or how they diVer from their family, which
thereby may help to solidify a sense of identity for the grandchild. This point
is further discussed in the grandchildren section of the chapter.
Advice. Many of the stories contained advice that the older adults
wanted to share with their grandchildren. These pieces of advice were typically life lessons they had learned and appeared to have the intention of trying to beneWt the younger generation by expressing the knowledge they had
gained. Examples from stories in which the theme of advice emerged include:
Your entire life will be a path of choices . . . Dont be afraid to choose. Live the
questions; thats the only way to the answers. (Book I, p. 79)
I can honestly say that I have lived a richer life by engaging with my mistakes,
I have come to realize that the one who never makes a mistake is likely someone who never takes a risk either . . . My story of mistakes is meant to help you
avoid making the same ones. (Book I, p. 24)
May you always shine and succeed in whatever you undertake. Also respect
your teachers as they contribute so much to the moulding of your character,
outlook, knowledge and progress of your life . . . (Book II, p. 79)
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383
their lives (Kornhaber, 1996). Based on the frequency of the theme of advice
within the stories included in this study, it is evident that these older adults
also saw their role as one in which they provide guidance and oVer advice to
the young. This sense of generativity or caring for the younger generation is
an important developmental goal of later life, according to Erikson (Gatz &
Zarit, 1999). Writing stories that oVer advice is one method older adults may
use to attain a sense of generativity (Norris et al., this volume).
In some of the stories containing advice, the grandparents attempted to
describe the similarities between themselves and their grandchildren. Within
their stories, the grandparents chose to write about life experiences or lessons
that they felt their grandchildren would also encounter in their lifetime. By
doing so, the older adults create a common ground where grandchildren
and grandparents can potentially relate better to one another. Ultimately, the
result of pointing out the similarities with the younger generation could be
one of greater communication; that is, grandchildren may come to realize
that their grandparents may have had similar life experiences and may be a
valuable source of knowledge. For example, grandchildren may begin to see
their grandparents as undertaking the role of the teacher, where the grandparent provides advice to help the grandchild learn, and potentially to help
them avoid making similar mistakes (McAdoo & McWright, 1994).
One technique for communicating the theme of advice was the use of
Wgurative language. Life metaphors have been identiWed as helping to explain
a diYcult concept or to describe the grandparents life experiences to the
grandchild in a way that the grandchild can easily understand (Nussbaum &
Bettini, 1994). Examples of life metaphors include:
I see life as a cathedrala personal cathedral with marvelous stained glass windows portraying a life story in all its many colours and with windows under
construction . . . Your cathedral has a strong framework, because a loving family helps create the basic framework, but the design of the windows takes a lifetime, and thats the intensely personal part. The windows are constructed of
your lifes experience. (Book I, p. 79)
384
RYA N E T A L .
lel exactly nor graceful, but I can dare the higher peaks and get down them
unscathed. And so, my dear, I dont wish for you skiing without moguls. Else
how . . . will you develop your technique to surmount lifes problems.
In this example, the author uses the metaphor to explain to the grandchild
the value of trying new experiences as well as the importance of developing
ones own individual approach to life. The moguls are also used to represent
lifes challenges. Within this story, the grandparent is not only describing an
event in her life that the grandchild may Wnd interesting (i.e., that the grandparent learned to alpine ski at the age of 35), but is also providing advice or
a life lesson to the grandchild at a more in-depth level. The use of metaphor
is a creative writing technique that grandparents may use to capture their
grandchilds attention, in order to transmit and share the information. Metaphor is one example of the complexity of language, which has been shown to
increase in later adulthood (Adams-Price, 1998).
Life Story. Some of the older adults stories described an event in their
life that was signiWcant to them. One example of a story that contained the
theme of the life story began as follows: It was a happy childhood in spite of
the Depression of the early 1930s (Book I, p. 85). As the story continues,
the writer describes to her grandchild how she grew up in Ireland, later
moved to Canada where she was married, and eventually raised the grandchilds mother. The grandmother concludes her story by writing:
Telling you this little bit about the Wrst 25 years or so of my life makes me wish
. . . that I had asked my mother and father to tell me about their young lives
and what their parents were like . . . Learn what you can from your parents and
grandparents (Book I, p. 85).
The grandparent has described her life to her grandchild and, in so doing, has
undertaken the process of reviewing her life as well. Writing this story has
helped the grandparent realize the importance of knowing about ones family,
and the grandchild is able to come to an understanding that there may be
more to the grandparents life than previously realized. This point is further
exempliWed in a story in which a grandmother describes an event in her
younger life when she stole a lipstick from Mr. Browns Variety Store and the
life lesson she learned from doing so:
To this day, as an adult, I am unable to examine any item in a store without an
awareness of Mr. Brown standing beside me reminding me that no item is
mine until I pay for it . . . My dear grandchild, you have your whole life ahead
of you and you will face many challenges which will require you to make
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385
choices. With the support of your loving family and community, I know you
will make the right ones. (Book I, p. 58)
From this story, it is clear that the grandparent has learned from her mistakes
and is using the medium of writing to relay a portion of her life story. Other
research has conWrmed the idea that values teaching is an important part of
the grandparent role for many older adults (see Norris et al., this volume).
The anecdote chosen by this grandparent is a clear example of an attempt to
transmit a personally central valuehonesty in an intergenerational context. Many of the life stories we have discussed in this chapter contain such
obvious values-teaching strategies, made palatable through entertaining or
compelling narrative. The grandchild receiving the preceding story may especially beneWt because the events took place when the grandparent was a child,
helping the grandchild to relate to it, and because the tone of the story is
light-hearted and engaging.
Two other examples of the life story are those in which the grandparents
experience in elementary school is described. One writer began his story
describing how he was enrolled in school and the type of school he attended:
I was enrolled in the nearest school, the always reliable one-room schoolhouse with Wve full grades . . . All my early teachers were seventeen-year olds
(Book II, p. 139). The grandparent continues to describe his early experiences
in school and concludes the story stating: It was the end of my education as
a child. From now on, I was a workingman earning his living, as many of my
age, not quite thirteen (Book II, p. 139). Another writer describes a similar
topic. The writer begins the story stating, I started to school when I was
almost seven (Book II, p. 85) and continues on to describe the school, her
teacher, and her Wrst experiences in a classroom environment. The grandparent concludes the story by describing how almost 50 years later she was
reunited with her Grade one teacher when she then realized that her parents
had been right about her teacher being one of the best. This quotation also
exempliWes how new perspectives on ones life can be discovered through the
recounting of experiences. Parenthetically, there is also here an implicit message to the grandchildren to listen to ones parents (advice).
Grandchildren Themes
A thematic analysis of the stories submitted by children and young adults was
also conducted. The process was more diYcult here than for the grandparents and young adults stories since the children tended to be descriptive
rather than content-oriented in their writing. This supports Bambergs claim
386
RYA N E T A L .
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387
One example from a university-aged grandchild who also saw her grandparent in a fun-loving way was described in a story. She writes, This is perhaps one of the best qualities of a relationship with a grandmother; namely
the absence of the need to discipline (Book I, p. 127). It is clear from these
examples that many grandchildren associate their grandparents with fun
and friendship. Perhaps this fun-seeking/friendship role has contributed to
the meaningful relationship that often develops between grandparents and
grandchildren. SpeciWcally, some grandchildren (as the university-aged grandchild points out) may recognize that grandparents and grandchildren can love
one another in a similar manner that a parent loves a child but without the
need to discipline, thereby contributing to the special relationship often shared
between the two generations (see Norris et al., this volume, for a further discussion of the relationship-building role of intergenerational narrative).
A second theme that emerged in some of the
grandchildrens stories related to communicating the important role that
grandparents play within the family unit. Examples include the following:
Family Relationships.
Dont leave me here, all by myself, I love you too much, you know everyone
needs you and myself.
You cant go, well all be left in sorrow. (Book I, p. 101)
She is the center of our family, the glue that keeps us all together and our moral
leader . . . I do not know what would happen to our family if we ever lost her.
(Book II, p. 303)
388
RYA N E T A L .
In this example it is clear that through story writing, the grandchild has
beneWtted by the opportunity to learn about her grandfather, perhaps by
asking other family members questions about him. By doing so, she has
gained a sense of identity and connectedness to her grandfather as she is able
to identify similarities between herself and her grandparent despite not
knowing him personally. In addition to the connection the grandchild has
made with her grandfather, she also may have inspired stories about him
from other family members which has fostered a connection with the family as a whole.
Acknowledgment of Losses in Old Age. While research has suggested that grandchildren interpret the grandparents role as one in which
they provide advice to the young (Kornhaber, 1996), some of the universityaged grandchildren oVered advice and support to their grandparents. Generally, this occurred because either the grandparent was ill or had lost his or her
spouse. It is important to acknowledge that the grandparent/grandchild relationship is generally characterized by a reciprocal interaction, and therefore,
providing advice is an act that can be performed by both generations (Norris
& Tindale, 1994). Each generation holds the potential of learning and beneWtting from one another. For example, one author points out some of the positive experiences that can emerge as one ages by writing qualities associated
with the letters in the words Growing Old: I wish you would Wnd some
positive changes that come with getting older . . . G is for the experience of
becoming a grandparent, R is for those that have earned our respect . . . W is
for the wisdom acquired over the years (Book I, p.157). Another example in
which the grandchild tries to empathize with the grandparent occurs when
one grandchild writes, I know you are frustrated, but the process of aging is
one that is confusing to everyone . . . I understand you have been through a
lot of tough times during your life (Book I, p. 138). Regardless of whether it
is the grandparent or the grandchild who is oVering the advice or support, the
intentions seem to be well-meaning. SpeciWcally, each generation, through
writing, is attempting to express their concern for one another. In each case,
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389
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RYA N E T A L .
They tell you stories/While you fall asleep with them hugging you tight. (Book
II, p. 250)
This association between grandparents and stories is seen often in the ways
the grandchildren describe their grandparents as storytellers. Sharing the stories is one way that each generation can relate to one another, and reinforces
the grandchildrens perception that their memories of the grandparent will
live on. Perhaps the grandparents stories serve as memories of the grandparent to the grandchild that can be kept and shared even after grandparents
pass away.
Some of the younger grandchildren expressed their feelings regarding the
absence of grandparents. One story illustrates how the lack of a relationship
with grandparents can aVect a grandchild: As a child, I remember feeling a
void created by the absence of an extended family . . . a grandparent with
whom I could have contact . . . the geographical distance between us prevented the formation of an emotional closeness (Book I, p. 127). In this
example, the sadness that the grandchild feels at not knowing her grandparent is evident. On the other hand, one young grandchild wrote: Doesnt it
feel good knowing that they are always there? Whether they are next door or
miles away, they are always there for you (Book II, p. 235). In this example,
the grandchild comments on the dependable relationship that grandparents
and grandchildren can have with one another despite geographical distance.
It is clear that the nature and quality of the grandparent-grandchild relationship can vary from family to family. However, it seems that while the grandparent-grandchild relationship can vary, the stories in this study commonly
reXected the valuable inXuence that grandparents can have in their grandchildrens lives.
Benefits of Story Writing
The time-honored reason for writing letters to family members has been to
overcome geographical distances separating authors and recipients. Although
the authors in our project took this purpose for granted, grandparents and
occasionally grandchildren did explicitly identify within their stories numerous beneWts of exchanging written stories and letters (see Table 16.1). Some
grandparents explicitly stated that the purpose of their stories was to preserve
or pass down a legacy. Writing is an eVective medium for preserving legacies
because it is less likely that the story will be misconstrued or forgotten. Knowing that the legacy will continue to be passed on may serve to strengthen family relationships, as each generation understands and continues to pass on
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391
TABLE 16.1
BeneWts of Story Writing
Type
392
RYA N E T A L .
family history. Story writing also serves as a means to create new connections
and strengthen existing ones between the generations (Norris et al., this volume; Pratt & Fiese, this volume). For the participants in this study, writing
provided the opportunity to express thoughts or feelings that might otherwise
have been left unsaid. For some, writing may be a more comfortable form of
communication, or may be perceived as the only means to convey ones message or have ones message heard by the receiver. Being able to express oneself can also have therapeutic value (Schuster, 1998). As well, story writing
might lead to future opportunities for the writer and the reader to converse.
For example, some stories pointed out a common interest between the generations; others created opportunities for the reader to take an active role in the
relationship, as the story posed questions or invited later interaction based on
the story. Finally, some grandparents transcended time in writing for the
future to unborn, or very young grandchildren; some grandchildren wrote in
memory of grandparents (sometimes never known).
Summary
Intergenerational Connections
and Life Span Development
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393
tal life stage goals, those of generativity and wisdom (Erikson & Erikson,
1998). Conveying aspects of ones life story to a grandchild directs an older
persons attention to the generative aspects of ones life and thereby strengthens a sense of contribution and connection with contemporary society. Pasupathi (2001) argues for the beneWts of telling ones life story for diVerent
audiences and the role of the story recipient in shaping the sense of memory
and self. Sharing life stories of who we are is one of the key strategies outlined
by Kenyon (2002) for expressing ordinary wisdom; both teller and recipient
grow from such expressions.
Young grandchildren reveal in their stories concerns with reliable and
trusting relationships, while older grandchildren demonstrate interest in the
identity issues of adolescence and early adulthood (Erikson & Erikson,1998).
Committing their thoughts and concerns to paper and sharing them with
grandparents may also facilitate psychosocial development in children moving from one life stage to another. As well, the grandparents own identity can
be strengthened by the written oVerings of appreciation for the ways in which
they have made a diVerence in their grandchildrens lives.
On a broader level, we would argue that fostering the grandparent-grandchild relationship through the exchange of letters and stories can contribute
to improving understanding of aging issues in general. Many scholars have
acknowledged the central role of relationships with grandparents in the development of positive aging attitudes (Kornhaber, 1996; Williams & Nussbaum,
2001). Improving this key intergenerational relationship can enhance intergenerational communication beyond the family for both young and old (Ryan,
Meredith, MacLean, & Orange, 1995). The following story by a 9-year-old
grandchild exempliWes this learning:
My grandparents are wonderful. I have two grandmas and one grandpa. So
three, but I did have four. I had one more grandpa. His name was Russel. He
died when I was Wve. All I remember is that he used to call me his little Pixy
Girl. I know he loved me just like I loved him. I love all my grandparents. My
dads mom Grams helps me very much. Shes the one that taught me how to
hold a fork and knife. Then theres my dads dad. He is very nice, old, but wise
and loving. You cant forget my moms mom! She is very smart, old, but young
in a way. I do not mind what they look like. I know I will always love them, its
just the way life goes. (Book II, p. 238)
As compared to storytelling, story writing oVers some key advantages. Sharing stories beyond the face-to-face situation extends the range of strategies for
394
RYA N E T A L .
fostering the grandparent-grandchild relationship, which may be undermined in contemporary society by waning interest in traditions and heritage
and by a fascination with what is new and modern. Reliance on the telephone
for social connections across geographic distances emphasizes superWcial communication as compared to traditional letter writing. The increasing availability of e-mail to all generations opens the way for a resurgence of intergenerational communication through the printed word both the quick and
spontaneous and the longer, more reXective message (Harwood, 2000). In
cases where the parents are divorced, the written mode may be especially useful to grandparents and grandchildren because this type of communication
relies much less on the parents for the arrangement of face-to-face meetings
(Williams & Nussbaum, 2001).
The printed word can overcome the limitations of geography and time.
As well, older adults with hearing impairments or other diYculties in oral
communication can be expected to enjoy a special advantage in developing
a writing relationship with grandchildren. In our study, participants wrote
to family members far away or who lived only in their minds. Recorded
family stories are important assets within families because of the changing
interests associated with life span development. All too often, by the time
we want to hear the stories, the tellers are no longer available to us. In
addition, the writing of stories is a work of art, an accomplishment which
contributes to an older persons sense of remaining active and productive
and which fosters a young persons burgeoning sense of competence and
participation in the world into which they are growing (Koch, 1977; Schuster, 1998). Moreover, Schuster (1998) underscored the way in which recognition beyond the family for older persons writings transformed relationships within the family.
Facilitating Story Writing
The purpose of making our two collections of intergenerational stories available to the public is to inspire young and old with the feasibility and potential of exchanging stories with younger and older members of their own families. Grandparents might consider writing their life stories (memoirs) for the
family in a series of short texts, sent to individual recipients or to all family
members over a period of time. This option not only seems more manageable
to a number of potential authors, but also can create a more receptive and
responsive audience. Directly involving grandchildren in the preparation of a
recorded family/life story can also enrich intergenerational connections. Likewise, grandchildren might be encouraged to consider their correspondence
16.
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395
Future research concerning individual diVerences in themes would be of interest, with attention to the role of age and gender among both grandparents
and grandchildren, either as authors or as recipients (see Nussbaum & Bettini,
1994; Williams & Nussbaum, 2001). It should be remembered that the grandparents and grandchildren involved in our project were predominantly female, perhaps inXuencing the nature of our Wndings; men are more likely to
write about external things, while women are more likely to be personal and
write about internal states (Ray, 2000, p. 78). In addition, our participants,
particularly the grandparents, were highly selected volunteers in keeping with
our goal to analyze eVective writing samples. To complement our procedure,
greater variation in quality and content perhaps could be observed by collecting writing samples in a more controlled setting. Pratt and Norris (1999), for
example, reported on the use of written narrative as a means of exploring a
wide variety of themes in the moral and social reasoning of older adults. It
would also be particularly valuable to recruit grandparent-grandchild pairs for
a study in which they would write for each other over a period of time. With
such a longitudinal design, it would be possible to track the development of
themes across each pair over the evolution of their correspondence.
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RYA N E T A L .
ACKNOWLEDGMENT
The authors express their appreciation for partial support for this research
by Grant No. 410-2000-1358 from the Social Sciences and Humanities
Research Council of Canada. We also gratefully acknowledge the assistance of
Gail Elliot, Alan Bishop, Katie Allen, Miranda Beamer, Marie Savundranayagam, and Amanda Beaman.
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PA R T V I
Conclusions
and Future Directions
17
Metaphors and Meanings
of Family Stories: Integrating
Life Course and Systems Perspectives
on Narrative
Barbara H. Fiese
Syracuse University
Michael W. Pratt
Wilfrid Laurier University
Wherever a story comes from, whether it is a familiar myth or a private memory, the retelling exemplifies the making of a connection
from one pattern to another. . . . Our species thinks in metaphors and
learns through stories.
Mary Catherine Bateson, 1994, p. 11
Taken together, the chapters in this book weave a tale of connecting patterns
of family inXuence across the life span. And a complex tale it is indeed. Family stories provide messages of expected conduct, lessons learned, and relationship formation. The thematic content of these stories covers a wide range
of common experiences, such as visits to Grandma, what to do when rules are
broken, how to repair hurt feelings, and responding to peer pressure. In this
regard, the contents of family stories serve as metaphors of the challenges
faced by families in raising children, becoming partners, and growing old.
Family stories extend beyond the messages relayed, however. The act of engaging others in the storytelling process is a context in which culture is conveyed and cognitive development supported.
In this Wnal chapter, we structure our summary of the issues raised by these
excellent contributions around two key questions: What can family stories
tell us about development? What can narratives tell us about families? In part
401
402
F I E S E A N D P R AT T
The stories told between parents and young children typically involve retellings of shared experiences. The early construction of family stories is
based, in part, on a recounting of memories that sets the stage, much later in
adolescence, for creating meaningful life stories (McAdams, 2001). Peterson
and McCabe (this volume) describe classic prototypes of what makes a good
story. Much like a good piece of music, there is a building up of tension with
a crescendo, followed sometimes by a sweet ending. Indeed, the rhythm of
story telling is no doubt established prior to the time the child can become an
active participant in recalling memories. The rising tone and quality of mothers speech to young infants parallels the rise and fall of classic storylines
(Stern, 2002).
Although engaging the child in recounting personal memories may be a
universal experience, there are important variations by parent style and culture. Peterson and McCabe (this volume) demonstrate that the degree to
which families are comfortable with storytelling varies considerably and that
this variability is directly related to the childs developing narrative competence. Children who are exposed to narrative environments rich in elaborative details are more likely to become good storytellers, in comparison to
peers whose parents tend to switch topics rather than encourage elaboration.
Fivush and colleagues (this volume) also detail diVerences in parent and family narrative style that may be related not only to the childs linguistic competence, but also to his or her developing emotional resilience.
When we consider how children are enculturated into storytelling partnerships, cultural styles of engagement become even more prominent. Fung,
Miller, and Lin (this volume) point to how the role of listener is often downplayed or ignored in Western cultures. Yet, in Confucian cultures, as studied
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403
by Fung, Miller, and Lin (this volume) and Wang (this volume), to be a good
storyteller means that you must Wrst be a good listener.
There are several meanings associated with these childhood reminiscence
processes. First, relationships are built through these everyday exchanges that
are regulated in part by gender and culture (e.g., Wang, this volume). Parents
in more individualistic Western cultures, according to Wang, foster diVerent
kinds of reminiscence processes and content, highlighting the autonomous
individual, than do parents in collectivistic, Confucian cultures, where the
childs network of relations with others is emphasized instead. The types of
stories told to daughters and sons may also diVer under some circumstances.
Inherent in the recollection of everyday memories is the opportunity for
problem solving and learning the lessons of growing up. Much of the backand-forth exchanges reported in these Wrst few chapters of the book include
engaging children around such themes as How did you feel? and What
would you do next time? The metaphors of these stories fall along the lines
of how to experience as well as behave and act in the culture in which you
are raised.
Story coherence is somewhat of a background to the evolving partnerships
that are created through active storytelling. There is no doubt a strong cognitive and developmental component to this phase. Benson (1996) has demonstrated that although children can piece together the elements of story
structure (e.g., beginning, middle, and end) when as young as 4 years of age,
the ability to create a complex plot with intentions and resolution of inconsistencies is not fully developed until later. This does not preclude, however,
the possibility that exposure to coherent vs. incoherent accounts inXuences
younger children. ScaVolding eVects were mentioned throughout the early
chapters in this book. For example, Peterson and McCabe (this volume)
report that notions of causality are introduced by parents in conversations
5 months prior to childrens own use of causal statements in their recounts.
Fivush and colleagues (this volume) point out that there are individual diVerences in the ways in which parents and children enter into co-constructed
narrative exchanges. Families who build the narrative together may model
coherence through synthesizing ideas and taking into account diVerent perspectives.
On the other hand, narratives characterized by disharmonious interactions
disrupt the Xow of the narrative and may ultimately provide inconsistent
and incoherent models to their children. The developmental course of incoherence then may become cemented in attachment relationships between
parent and child, as described by Sher-Censor and Oppenheim (this volume).
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F I E S E A N D P R AT T
Children who establish secure relationships during infancy are more likely to
organize their narratives in a way that supports resolution of conXicts in a
coherent manner. Thus, the foundation of a secure and responsive parentchild relationship may inXuence the degree to which children are able to
create coherent accounts of interpersonal relationships in their discourse.
Similarly, Robinson and Eltz (this volume) show how some patterns of parent
living arrangements and less functional caregiving in a vulnerable sample of
poor families can be predictive of more aggressive and dysfunctional narratives that young children display in their discussions about standard relationship situations. This chapter also hints at the important but under-studied
role that fathers may play in these families in shaping childrens social narrative resources.
Adolescence: Dialogues and Identity
During adolescence, the medium of family storytelling is centered on dialogues between adolescent and adults. Over time, the dialogue becomes more
internalized and lays the foundation for a personal life story. The content of
these stories reXects the personal challenges experienced by contemporary
adolescents, as well as adults investment in forewarning adolescents of potential dangers ahead. This process is clearly illustrated in the chapter presented
by Arnold and colleagues. The values and lessons expressed in family stories
need to percolate. Turning points in life stories become such through personal reXection and evaluation. An essential feature of this process is how the
earlier exchanges between parent and child become internally reconstructed
or owned by the adolescent over time. As was the case in parent-child reminiscences, there are individual diVerences in how parents and adolescents
engage in this process. Adolescents whose turning point episodes included
active interest on the part of parents, either through providing useful advice
or just being a sounding board, were more likely to internalize parental values. Adolescents, on the other hand, who felt their stories cut short by parents,
were more likely to author personal stories of disappointment and unresolved
tensions between parent and child. The parallels between these narrative processes and more traditional descriptions of parenting style are evident, and
were supported by the data. Adolescents whose stories showed that they experienced their parents as responsive and authoritative were better adjusted
4 years later than adolescents who experienced their parents as dictatorial and
unresponsive to their individual needs in the stories that they told.
Coherence is an essential regulating feature of this phase. The chapter presented by Dunbar and Grotevant (this volume) is a complex picture of how
17.
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405
406
F I E S E A N D P R AT T
and may damage the participants if not presented appropriately, or even, perhaps, if presented at all. There is a need, in other words, to attune the story to
both the teller and the listener and to their relationship, and this matter may
become more salient in adolescence than childhood, when the listeners are all
the more ready to re-interpret the story through their own lenses. Stories
about parental transgressions such as drug use thus highlight the problematic
role of storytelling within the developing family context.
Adulthood: Relationship Histories
The section of the book dedicated to adults as partners and parents, and the
conveyance of family stories, centers largely around depicting close relationships. Many of these stories tend to be prosaic, reXecting everyday events and
routines within the family and the task of building intimate relationships
within the newly constituted family. Dickstein (this volume) describes how
the stories told about marriage reXect how adults value relationships and recognize their inXuence on other areas of family functioning. Although this
chapter is presented from an attachment perspective, there are clear overlaps
with Eriksons proposition that this is the period of intimacy versus isolation
(Erikson, 1950). Erikson proposes that during this period, adults seek mutual
intimate relationships that accommodate cycles of work, procreation, and
recreation.
Fiese and Bickham (this volume) report that the stories shared by parents
with their children include themes of work, being close to others, and how
families spend leisure time together. The meanings implicit in these stories
appear to include not only how to behave (as in the case of personal reminiscences), but also the importance of building relationships over time. The kinship ties identiWed in the Fiese and Bickham chapter highlight how, through
stories, children are exposed to genealogical as well as geographical references.
Through narratives, a scrapbook of family relationships is created that serves
as a reference for making sense of personal relationships. Implicit in Eriksons stage of intimacy is the notion that through creating close relationships,
we avoid self-absorption and isolation. Thus, family stories may be used to
convey what to expect in close relationships, how to value them as sources of
support, and to consider how being in a family insures membership in a
meaningful group. Not surprisingly, the next stage is directed toward how to
continue this process and invest in the next generation.
McAdams (this volume) eloquently describes how stories of generativity
include not only messages of suVering but also of human kindness. At the
core of these stories, there appears to be a Rousseau-like message that concern
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407
for others is inherently human. This concern does not come without cost,
however. Oftentimes these messages are ones of suVering and sacriWce. Yet, at
the core is a message of human kindness and being able to rely on others in
times of need, as well as the capacity for redemption and growth that comes
out of these times of trial. In this regard, these tales of generativity extend the
attachment theme to include expectations that even outside of intimate relationships, within the wider social world, there is a common good and there
are expectations for satisfying relationships. It is greater use of this type of plot
that was found to distinguish more generative adult storytellers. Perhaps this
is good news, in that those who have a more optimistic and hopeful view of
the world may be the most avid message carriers to the next generation (e.g.,
Pratt, Norris, Arnold, & Filyer, 1999).
Coherence comes into play in two diVerent ways in this set of stories. First
is narrative coherence and the structure of the stories being told. Clearly, the
work reported by Dickstein (this volume) suggests that the manner in which
close relationships are described is linked to how family members interact
with each other. Similar to the results reported in childhood reminiscence
and the adolescent identity literature, stories that are well organized, resolve
contradictory information, and synthesize diVerent elements are related to
more positive relationships and functioning overall. The process of building a
coherent story of family relationships potentially serves as background to the
types of stories that are told and expectations for rewarding or disappointing
interactions.
The second type of coherence evident in this collection of stories is biographical, as pointed out by McAdams (this volume). Typically considered as
involving the synthesizing of experiences of ones own life in adolescence
(e.g., Habermas & Bluck, 2000), biographical coherence may also include
reXections on others experiences that are close to you. Dicksteins (this volume) assessment of marital attachment includes an analysis of whether the
stories of marital relationships include recognition that forming such relationships is an important aspect of the life story. Couples diVered in the
degree to which they viewed their relationship as a work in progress and
evolving over time. For some couples there was the clear recognition that
marriage is a journey involving intimacy and personal challenges. For others,
marriage is seen as something that just happened and you do your own
thing, perhaps in spite of the relationship. Fiese and Bickhams (this volume)
discussion of family stories includes an appreciation for how parental experiences may indirectly aVect the socialization of children along gendered lines,
and what it means to grow up as a boy or as a girl. Indeed, they found that the
role of other family members experiences in activities and rituals may be
408
F I E S E A N D P R AT T
more central in the stories of the family that are told by mothers to daughters,
perhaps one element in the process of socializing females as the kin-keepers
within the family system (Putney & Bengtson, 2001).
As well, the creation of biographical coherence happens in cultural context.
Fung, Miller, and Lin (this volume) remind us that the roles and domains
inherent in the storytelling process contribute to our biographical stance. In
Confucian cultures, a more central building block of biographical coherence
is being a good listener. Fung, Miller and Lin point out that the Chinese self
is deWned by relationships to others. It is ones role to consider not only the
path of ones own life but to consider it in relation to the journeys of others.
A part of this biographical stance appears to be resolving tensions between
strivings for autonomy and independence and responsiveness to others in
society. In this regard, Eriksons (1950) overarching framework comes into
play, as societies create the only condition in which human growth is possible (p. 277). In Western cultures, biographical coherence may be more likely
to include features such as acting on ones own, as described in the stories
collected by Fiese and Bickham, and as reported in the chapter by Wang (this
volume). The medium in which biographical coherence is created may vary
by culture as well as by individual diVerences in relationship formation.
Older Adults: Epochs and Family Preservation
The stories told and valued by older adults are often epochal in nature. By the
term epochal, we refer to the fact that embedded within such stories is an appreciation for the sweep of history, and for individuals and the familys place
in generational time. Ryan and colleagues (this volume) detail accounts where
historical events such as war are often background to stories of personal loss
and survival. The authors speculate that when grandparents use such historical frames in their family reminiscences, grandchildren may develop a greater
appreciation for history in general. Often, however, the accounts were not
necessarily related to the history of the world as much as they were tales of
family history. Grandparent stories were used as opportunities to introduce
grandchildren to relatives and events that preceded the birth of the grandchild. The authors cite one grandparent who considers his forebears achievements as a source of encouragement when faced with challenging situations.
One could speculate that some adolescents (given the need to process and
reXect over time on a sense of self ) may eventually take these stories of grandparents as part of their own personal history (e.g., Hilbers, 1997). In many respects, the stories of older adults provide tangible evidence of family legacies.
17.
M E TA PH O R S A N D M E A N I N G S O F FA M I LY S TO R I E S
409
The drive to preserve family history and share advice is clearly evident in
the chapters by Ryan and colleagues, and by Norris, Kuiack, and Pratt (this
volume). One gets the sense that grandparents feel obliged to share their wisdom in the hopes that the younger generation will beneWt (and survive!).
There are important stylistic diVerences, however, that moderate the potential force of these stories. Norris and colleagues report that more generative
grandparents create more detailed and engaged stories about their grandchildren than do less generative grandparents. They suggest that generative
grandparents may enact their goals for the family more eVectively through
storytelling. Gould (this volume) also reports individual diVerences in older
adults styles of recounting personal experiences, similar to stylistic diVerences
noted in parent-child reminiscences. Overall, then, the stories of older adults
are used as opportunities for personal reXection and to deal with the question
of what ones life means for the next generation.
Surprisingly, there was less attention to the notion of coherence in the research reported here on the stories told by older adults. Gould attends to the
potential for memory loss in later life to aVect story content and structure.
However, the chapters by Ryan and colleagues, and by Norris and colleagues,
focus more on the content of stories told between generations. The focus
appears to be on connections and collaborations between generations rather
than on individual coherence and its implications. In this regard, the illocutionary force investigated so far seems aimed at drawing generations together
in the hopes that values are transmitted. Future research may attend to
whether the coherence of the narratives told by individual older adults is
related to generativity, ego integrity and eVective value transmission. Certainly previous research has indicated that more coherent life stories, as told
by older versus younger adults, may be better appreciated by readers and listeners (Kemper, 1992; Pratt & Robins, 1991).
Table 17.1 summarizes the ways
in which stories are told during diVerent periods across the life span and suggests something of their meanings. The narrative environment is rich with
opportunities to engage others in family stories. Building blocks of storytelling are evident in early childhood, with a focus on reminiscences and
recountings of shared experiences, largely guided by adult partners. This type
of storytelling sends the message that sharing everyday memories is a part of
relating to others and provides an opportunity for problem solving. This process of storytelling builds linguistic, cognitive, and social competence in the
developing child (e.g., McAdams, 2001).
Family Stories Across the Life Span.
410
F I E S E A N D P R AT T
TABLE 17.1
Elements of Family Stories Across the Life Span
Lifespan Period
Medium
Meaning
Metaphor
Coherence
Childhood
Reminiscence
Sharing everyday
memories is
relational
How do I learn
to behave?
Narrative
and social
competence
Adolescence
Dialogue
Synthesizing
diVerent
experiences lays
foundation for
coherence
Who am I?
Coherence of
personal identity
Adulthood
Prosaic
Relationship
histories
What do others
mean to me?
Coherence across
immediate
family
relationships
Older Adult
Epochal
Family
preservation
What does my
life mean to
others?
Continuity
across family
generations
17.
M E TA PH O R S A N D M E A N I N G S O F FA M I LY S TO R I E S
411
storytelling may become less prosaic and more challenging as children grow
into adolescence, as demonstrated in the chapter by Thorne and colleagues.
Older adults extend this charge, and seize the opportunity to reXect on
the unique nature of their own family in the context of a broader historical
moment. Indeed, they may be the most time-conscious members of the family, and often have the strongest investment in preserving family history for
the next generations (Putney & Bengston, 2001). Bengtsons idea of generational stake stresses that the oldest generations have the most investment in
preserving family harmony and tend to emphasize this in their views and
activities. Our concept of the epochal nature of family stories for the oldest
generation is meant to stress this idea of family intergenerational process in
historical context (see Table 17.1).
As depicted in Table 17.1, then, this book is premised on the notion that
Eriksons (1950) framework of life-span development is a useful organizing
perspective for viewing the role of family stories across the individuals life
course. Early in life, the young child acquires both a competence in narrative
and a sense of social relationships through the medium of participation in
family reminiscence activities. As Fiese and Bickham (this volume) show,
parental story content even seems to vary somewhat in parallel with the stages
of development in the childs personality, as outlined by Erikson. In adolescence, the issues of identity are addressed by the construction of a sense of
coherence in the life story, with the family as a central context for this process
(e.g., McAdams, this volume, 2001). In adulthood, the sense of self enlarges
to encompass relationships with partners and others, and a concern with
socializing the next generation, following the Eriksonian framework, and
family stories reXect and illuminate these intimacy and generativity themes.
Finally, in late adulthood, a concern with the self s legacy is reXected in family
stories designed to pass on the family, its values and history across generational lines, perhaps as a way of coming to terms with the issues of ego integrity in the sense described by Erikson. As several of our chapters point out,
however, and as Erikson (1950) himself clearly recognized, these broad lifespan processes are situated within diverse cultural contexts that may shape
their expression diVerently.
Our second topic reXects the fact that there are lessons to be learned about
families in general from these chapters on family stories. For one, the content
412
F I E S E A N D P R AT T
17.
M E TA PH O R S A N D M E A N I N G S O F FA M I LY S TO R I E S
413
the case of the family legacies recounted by older adults, or they may be more
universal, as in the case of creating secure and trustworthy bonds between
parent and child in the service of attachment. The stories depicted and analyzed in the chapters in this volume, then, may provide a window into this
important meaning-making process that extends beyond dyadic relationships
to the wider family unit.
As described in our introductory chapter (Pratt & Fiese, this volume),
family process can be distinguished along the two intersecting dimensions of
family practices and family representations. The act of engaging family members in storytelling extends across the life span, with variations in elaborative
style, in how eagerly individuals take on the task, and in how emotion is
regulated in the telling. These stylistic features evident in storytelling are
oftentimes concordant with interactions observed outside of the speciWc narrative exchange (e.g., Dickstein, this volume; Fiese & Marjinsky, 1999; SherCensor and Oppenheim, this volume). Thus, there may be quite plausible
cross-situational consistency between behaviors observed in a narrative context, and those observed during everyday routine interactions.
Partly because of this, family stories can serve as a method for investigating
important dimensions of family life, as noted in chapter 1. This is so because
such stories may reveal consistencies in their tellings with practices within the
family, as well as across underlying representations of family models. In addition, coherence between narrative style and overall family style in practices
may aid in cementing the images and messages portrayed in the story. As
suggested in the introductory chapter, family stories are also important as a
medium for conveying key information between individual members, and
this role is inXuenced, perhaps interactively, both by stories practicing and
representing aspects. Finally, the act of storytelling may lead, or transact, with
the meaning or representational model of the family implicit in the story
told. Stories thus serve the key role of constructing meaning and a sense of
identity, both for the individual and for the wider family. Stories, as depicted
in these chapters, are thus all of these simultaneously method, medium,
and meaningand future research should continue to explore all of these
potential aspects of narrative within the family.
For example, when considering members representations of family life
and its meanings, it is clear that these are works in progress. Consistent with
Bowlbys (Bowlby, 1969) notion that repetitive interactions between caregiver
and child become internalized and re-evaluated over time, families create
working models of relationships that become integrated into the individuals
sense of self and belonging. An examination of the diVerent topics conveyed
in these chapters expands the realm of working models to include guides for
414
F I E S E A N D P R AT T
17.
M E TA PH O R S A N D M E A N I N G S O F FA M I LY S TO R I E S
415
A NEW BEGINNING?
416
F I E S E A N D P R AT T
17.
M E TA PH O R S A N D M E A N I N G S O F FA M I LY S TO R I E S
417
plar. How wrong indeed was Macbeth, in his bitter and despairing, though
perhaps understandable, soliloquy on his wifes death: Lifes but a walking
shadow, a poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage, and then
is heard no more; it is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. Instead, as the authors of the chapters in this book have shown,
the tales of family life, told both by the wise and the foolish, often prosaic,
can signify much about the processes and meaning of individual and family
development. We look forward to learning more in the future about how the
metaphors of daily personal experience, as revealed in stories shared, provide
meanings and rhythms to family life across time and generations.
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Author Index
A
419
420
Bennett-Kastor, T., 317, 320
Bennion, L., 176, 183
Benson, M. S., 403, 417
Benoit, D., 216, 230
Berg, C. A., 333, 349
Berlin, L. J., 58, 60, 75, 82, 102
Berman, R., 317, 320
Bernheimer, L. P., 205, 209
Bettini, L. M., 262, 277, 356, 357, 372,
378, 383, 392, 395, 397
Bickham, N., 4, 6, 7, 19, 21, 406, 407, 411,
412
Bielby, D. D. 335, 339, 347
Biggs, M., 41, 53
Biringen, Z., 119, 129
Bishop, D. S., 225, 231, 232
Black, W. C., 141, 161,
Blehar, M. C., 78, 85, 102, 216, 230
Blieszner, R., 380, 398
Block, J., 189, 208,
Bloom, H., 3, 20, 416, 417
Bluck, S., 10, 12, 13, 21, 57, 74, 136, 161,
166, 184, 188, 208, 238, 239, 254,
281, 282, 297, 407, 417
Blum-Kulka, S., 318, 320
Boden, D., 335, 339, 347
Bogdan, R., 264, 277
Bohanek, J., 95, 267, 272, 402, 403, 412
Boich, L. H., 342, 350
Bond, M. H., 296, 297
Boon, S. D., 376, 396
Botvin, G., J., 317, 320
Botyanski, N. C., 216, 232
Boucher, C., 216, 230
Bower, A. R., 336, 339, 347
Bowlby, J., 59, 74, 78, 79, 80, 95, 102, 103,
214, 230, 413, 417
Bowman, P. J., 206, 208, 242, 248, 255,
362, 372
Bowman, P. T., 242, 248, 255
Boxer, A., 241, 253
Boyes, C., 335, 350
Boyes, M., 178, 183
Boyle, P.,58, 74
Bradley, C., 241, 253
Bradshaw, D., 213, 217, 232
Braithwaite, D. O., 269, 276
AU T H O R I N D E X
421
AU T H O R I N D E X
422
AU T H O R I N D E X
423
AU T H O R I N D E X
424
Harwood, J., 377, 378, 394, 396
Hasher, L., 328, 329, 351
Hasson, M., 112, 130
Hauser, S. T., 168, 184
Hayashi, M. M., 334, 350
Haynes, P., 84, 87, 105, 113, 131
Hayslip, B., Jr., 355, 358, 369, 371
Hazan, C., 213, 217, 231, 232
He, A. W., 304, 321
Heath, S. B., 318, 321
Heiman, M., 4, 22
Henderson, C. E., 358, 369, 371
Henderson, C. R., Jr., 116, 130
Hendriks, H., 317, 321
Henning, K. H., 178, 186
Henwood, K., 328, 350
Herman, J., 284, 296, 298
Hermanns, H. J. M., 10, 11, 21, 165, 166,
167, 168, 184, 205, 208
Herot, C., 84, 87, 105, 113, 131
Hesse, E., 77, 78, 103, 104
Hickmann, M., 317, 321
Hicks, C., 18, 175, 176, 183, 404, 410
Highley, A. P., 335, 350
Hilbers, S. M., 5, 17, 21, 23, 172, 185, 408,
417
Hill, J., 164, 184
Hill, R. B., 243, 254
Hirsch, B. J., 241, 244, 248, 254
Ho, D. Y. F., 296, 298
HoVman, M. L., 111, 129
Hogan, R., 100, 105
Hollenbeck, B., 110, 129
Hollingshead, A. B., 263, 276
Hollos, M., 283, 298
Holmbeck, G. N., 164, 184
Holmberg, J., 111, 130
Hoogstra, L., 308, 317, 318, 321
Hooker, K. A., 3, 17, 20, 56, 75, 187, 207,
247, 254, 259, 264, 276
Hooley, J. M., 213, 231
Hostetler, A. J., 241, 253
Howe, M. L., 11, 21, 237, 254
Hrdy, S. B., 5, 21
Hsu, F. L. K., 287, 290, 296, 298
Hudson, J. A., 57, 75, 279, 298
Huh, K., 176, 183
AU T H O R I N D E X
425
AU T H O R I N D E X
Labov, W., 30, 31, 36, 40, 43, 53, 57, 75,
317, 321, 336, 349
Lacasa, P., 13, 23
Lamb, S., 163, 184
Lambek, M., 296, 299
Lamborn, S., 168, 176, 186, 164, 183
Land, P., 164, 183
Langer, E., 16, 21
Lau, D. C., 307, 321
Lawrence, J. A., 333, 348
Layton, L., 241, 257
Leach, M. S., 269, 276
Leichtman, M. D., 279, 280, 283, 284,
285, 290, 293, 295, 298, 299, 300,
318, 323
Leiderman, P., 174, 183
Leis, P. E., 283, 298
Leitch, C. J., 174, 184
Lerner, J., 62, 75
Lerner, R., 62, 75
Levin, S., 225, 231
Levine, C. G., 159, 160
Levy, B., 16, 21
Lewis, M. L., 242, 248, 255
Li, J., 283, 300, 306, 319, 321
Li, K. Z., H., 328, 329, 351
Liang, C. H., 14, 17, 22, 187, 188, 189,
197, 204, 205, 206, 208, 238, 256,
260, 272, 277, 280, 290, 291, 292,
293, 299, 308, 309, 313, 321
Lin, L. C., 238, 402, 403, 408, 414
Lin, M. C., 377, 396
Logan, R., 240, 255,
Londerville, S., 100, 104
Lowenthal, D., 284, 299
Luborsky, M. R., 380, 397
Luckey, D. W., 90, 104, 116, 130
Lutenbacher, M., 119, 130
Lyons-Ruth, K., 98, 99, 104
M
426
MacDermid, S. M., 240, 255
MacWe, J., 82, 84, 87, 104, 105, 112, 113, 131
Mackey, K., 15, 21, 169, 172, 173, 175,
176, 182, 184, 185, 247, 255
MacLean, M. J., 393, 398
Madsen, R., 4, 20
Main, M., 77, 78, 81, 82, 86, 93, 95, 100,
104, 214, 216, 218, 219, 231, 232,
261, 273
Manchester, J., 335, 350
Mandler, J. M., 11, 21, 238, 255
Manoogain, M. M., 358, 371
MansWeld, E., 9, 16, 22, 242, 251, 255,
362, 363, 372, 377, 392, 397
Mantz-Simmons, L., 82, 84, 87, 105, 113,
131
Marcia, J. E., 158, 159, 161, 176, 184, 405,
417
Mares, M., 334, 339, 349
Margrett, J. A., 328, 333, 349, 350
Marjinsky, K. A. T., 6, 8, 20, 56, 61, 62, 75,
273, 276, 413, 417
Markus, H. R., 14, 22, 280, 283, 284, 299
Marshall, V. W., 269, 277
Marsiske, M., 333, 349
Martin, J. A., 168, 184, 245, 255
Martin, P., 3, 22, 247, 261, 276
Martini, M., 272, 276
Maruna, S., 242, 255
Marvin, R. S., 82, 83, 102
Matteson, D. R., 158, 161, 405, 417
Maughan, A., 84, 105, 113, 131
McAdams, D. P., 4, 7, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14,
16, 17, 19, 22, 136, 137, 161, 165,
166, 180, 182, 184, 188, 206, 208,
236, 237, 238, 239, 240, 241, 242,
244, 248, 251, 254, 255, 261, 276,
284, 299, 362, 363, 372, 377, 392,
397, 402, 406, 407, 409, 410, 411,
412, 416, 418
McAdoo, H. P., 109, 115, 125, 130, 361,
372, 383, 397
McCabe, A., 2, 13, 14, 18, 22, 27, 31, 32,
33, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 41, 42, 43, 44,
48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 57, 75, 95,
167, 183, 262, 267, 272, 277, 279,
299, 317, 318, 320, 321, 322, 402, 403
AU T H O R I N D E X
427
AU T H O R I N D E X
428
AU T H O R I N D E X
AU T H O R I N D E X
429
Shaver, D., 116, 130, 213, 217, 231, 232
Shaver, P. R., 58, 75
Shedler, J., 189, 208
Shelton, K. K., 119, 131
Shen, Y. L., 376, 398
Sher-Censor, E., 8, 18, 296, 402, 413
Shore, J. R., 358, 369, 371
Shouldice, A., 80, 81, 82, 105
Sidora, K., 90, 104, 116, 130
Siegel, J. M., 174, 184
Sillars, A. L., 331, 350
Silver, D. H., 217, 231
Silverberg, S. B., 164, 186
Silverman, J., 355, 371
Silverstein, M., 354, 355, 360, 371, 373,
376, 377, 382, 396, 398
Singer, J. A., 206, 208, 281, 294, 300
Singer, N., 317, 320
Skillman, G., 264, 276
Skoglund, R., R., 376, 381, 398
Slade, A., 216, 231
Slobin, D., 317, 320, 346, 350
Slobin, K., 346, 350
Slough, N., 80, 81, 82, 105
Smetana, J., 164, 173, 186, 205, 208
Smirles, K. A., 241, 244, 245, 256, 362,
372
Smith, C., 73, 76
Smith, J., 6, 23
Smith, M. C., 9, 23
Smith, M., 360, 373
Smith, P. K., 365, 373
Smith, R. L., 28, 53
Smith, R., 11, 22, 56, 76
Smith, V., 80, 103
Smollar, J., 168, 186
Smyth, J., 346, 350
Snarey, J., 242, 256
Snicket, L., 73, 76
Snow, C. E., 28, 36, 54
Snow, C., 318, 320
Solomon, J., 78, 79, 80, 81, 86, 87, 98, 99,
104, 105
Soothill, W. E., 305, 322
Spanier, G., 225, 232
Speer, A. L., 111, 129
430
AU T H O R I N D E X
T
V
431
AU T H O R I N D E X
432
AU T H O R I N D E X
Subject Index
433
434
SUBJECT INDEX
Family
cultural diVerences, 1516
ecological context and stories, 34
practicing and representing aspects, 68
role in socialization, 23
Family narratives, 401402
cultural diVerences in, 238
and emotional resilience, 6165, 7273
functions of, 252
obtaining information, 16
perspective taking in, 267268
representative of meaning making, 17
role in socialization, 17
Family styles of narrative, 6571
child-centered interactions, 6869
collaborative interactions, 6566
cooperative interactions, 6869
disharmonious interactions, 7071
facilitated/moderated interactions, 6970
Family systems, 354356
Model, 354356
and narrative, 411415
435
SUBJECT INDEX
P
M
436
SUBJECT INDEX
Self-concept, 283286
cultural construction of, 283286
independent vs. interdependent, 283286
Shared caregiving patterns, 109, 114115
associated with narrative themes, 121,
125, 127128