Jose Valadez

Mrs. Zermeno
English 7&8
4/29/16

If people did not have a strong mind, then how would everyone be able to succeed in the
future? Mental toughness is when someone can achieve a difficulty with their mentality. Not all
are confident in themselves, but there are a lot of people who truly think that giving up is not a
choice. Today, people are doubting themselves when they can actually do something they did not
think was possible. Although some people say that people can be physically weak, mental
toughness is more important than physical health because mental toughness encourages people to
never give up and mental toughness helps people overcome their obstacles.
To start off, mental toughness encourages people to never give up. One fantastic example
is Jim Carrey dropping out of school to become a comedian and he became one of the best actors
in his era. Jim Carrey was almost homeless and he wanted to help his parents, so he used his
mind to think of ways on how to help them, for example, starting off as a comedian. Carrey did
not have the strength to leave school and start being a comedian, he needed to be mentally strong
to say I can do this for my family and myself. Another great example is when a man by the
name of Beck Weathers, was stranded and almost died at Mount Everest, but he told himself that
he can get up and move, therefore he stood up and walked to find some shelter and survived the
white out. Weathers himself had to fight through the tough weather but he was to weak, however,
he overheard others say that he was already dead which made him mentally stronger to tell
himself I have to stand up and move. Weathers must have had a tough mind to survive a white
out, but he wanted to survive and he did.

Wonderful start Jose!! You have become a strong writer. You have the format down for the most
part, except that both of your body paragraphs were missing their concluding sentences
(MELLELLCon). Some of your wording is a bit confusing, but this is easy to fix. Make the
changes I suggested and your grade will go up.

I got pretty picky with my comments because you are a strong writer, and I want to push you to
continue to grow as a writer. If you keep working hard, it would not surprise me if you were in
honors English in another year or so.

Argument Writing Summative Rubric

Name Jose Valadez
PS 6.1 (Introduction)

__3__

PS 6.2 (Main Ideas)

__3__

PS 6.3 (Conc Sent)

__0__

PS 6.4 (Conc Paragraph)

__3__

PS 7.5 (Grammar)

__3__

S 3.1 (Transitions)

__4__

S 3.2 (Tone)

__4__

S 6.1 (Evidence)

__4__

S 6.2 (Links)

__2__