"A Vicious Lick" (2000)

A Vicious Lick
By
Geoffrey M. Gardner
Email: gm.gardner@gmail.com
EXT. HIGH TENSION ELECTRIC WIRES - NIGHT

The dry, desert air CRACKLES with escaping electrons.
Towering silver behemoths, with their impossibly long limbs,
stretch out into the scrubby landscape and disappear into
the darkness. A rusty sign pockmarked with bullet holes
reads:
PROPERTY OF TUCSON ELECTRIC POWER. KEEP OUT.
Headlights from an approaching vehicle silhouette SAMUEL
GRAY, 17. The high school senior is smoking a cigarette, and
flicks the butt away as a white SUV pulls up to a stop.
Twenty yards away, the SUV idles. The drivers side door
opens.
SAMMY GRAY, 17, steps out of the car. He slams the door shut
and walks towards Samuel.
SAMUEL GRAY
Youre late.
CUT TO:
EXT. MOUNTAIN TOP - SUNRISE
The morning is bright, and the sky is blue. Samuel is
dragging a body up the side of a mountain. He stops to wipe
his brow and take a breath.
CUT BACK:
Samuel and Sammy face off. Both boys are the same height and
build, both with oak brown hair. They could easily be
brothers, but with distinctive tastes in clothes. Samuel is
wearing a red lacrosse shirt with a pair of ratty jeans,
while Sammy dons a baby blue Izod and khakis.
SAMUEL GRAY
What happened to you?
SAMMY GRAY
Me? Im not the one who started
skipping school and smoking dope.
An UNKNOWN MAN, presumably homeless, awakens from behind a
shopping cart full of cans. His RATTLING causes the boys to
jump back, but Samuel soon continues.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
2.
SAMUEL GRAY
No. No, you were the one who
decided long term career goals were
more important than your best
friend.
SAMMY GRAY
Oh, fuck you. You have no idea what
Ive had to give up for my
father... the sacrifices...
SAMUEL GRAY
Sacrifices? You lead a pointless
and shallow life, Sammy. Your
sacrifices are wasted on a senile
Mayor and a high school principal.
Congratulations.
SAMMY GRAY
So, what? I stole your report. Get.
Over. It.
CUT TO:
EXT. MOUNTAIN TOP - SUNRISE
Samuel continues to drag the body. The sun is getting
higher, and Samuel looks wiped out. The bodys hands are
tied together with thick rope, and the top half is covered
with a black tarp. From beneath the tarp, the bottom half of
a BABY BLUE SHIRT is visible.
CUT BACK:
SAMUEL GRAY
You asshole, this has nothing to do
with the report. Stop attacking me
on your news show. Take your series
off the air!
Sammy caresses his forehead and chortles to himself.
SAMMY GRAY
Huh, yeah? I guess somebody missed
the last hurrah of Sammy Gray,
Special Correspondent. I wouldnt
worry about any more reports.
Samuel licks his lips.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
3.
SAMUEL GRAY
My Dad deserves an apology.
Publicly.
Samuel pulls a .38 SPECIAL from his inside coat pocket, and
points it at Sammy. At first, Sammy looks startled, but
quickly gets mad.
SAMMY GRAY
Your Dad is a quack. If you want to
correct a life decision so bad, why
dont you coach him?
Sammy gestures to the UNKNOWN MAN, who is now sitting up
behind his cart watching the show. The man waves to Samuel,
who ignores him.
UNKNOWN MAN slowly gets up and tries to wheel his cart away.
Stuck in the dirt, he gives up and sits back down.
Sammy walks towards Samuel, who continues to hold the gun
up. Sammy gets in his face.
SAMMY GRAY (contd)
You dont know shit about anything.
Samuel considers, and shrugs.
SAMUEL GRAY
I know skulls.
Samuel PISTOL WHIPS Sammy in the side of his head. The
finely dressed boy stumbles back, clutching his head.
SAMMY GRAY
Ow, god! My eyes...
Sammy rubs his eyes and reaches into his pocket. He pulls
out a RED POCKETKNIFE and flicks it open. Squinting.
SAMMY GRAY (contd)
You, Samuel, were never meant to
be. Its high time we correct that
error.
CUT TO BLACK at the sound of a GUNSHOT.
TITLE
"A VICIOUS LICK"
4.
INT. SAMUEL GRAYS KITCHEN - DAY

Two elderly hands gently crack an egg on the side of a
mixing bowl, and the yolk slides out on top of some flour.
Looking up from the bowl, we see GRANDMA JAY, 70, a spry old
witch with a twinkle in her eye. Her whitening hair is done
up in a bun, and she wears a floral patterned dress.
GRANDMA JAY
Oh, mercy. You know, its not like
the boy was all bad - I want to
make that much perfectly clear.
Why, I can remember the time when
my Samuel rescued that bird bird
from the clutches of Tiger, the
Harris cat. Or that time he helped
Old Man Peters with his groceries,
all the way to his little cabin on
Pine Creek Hill. Didnt even ask
for a tip! So put that in your pipe
and smoke it. Its important you
see, as I fancy myself a fairly
competent weaver of tale and lore.
As anyone who does the same will
tell you, its all in the details
and specifics. Samuel Gray is my
grandson. He listens to me. He
trusts me. Hes the one still
alive. The other boy, the dead
one... odd as it may seem, his name
is also Samuel Gray. We always
called him Sammy to make life
easier. Just coincidence you say?
Well, easy to go spoutin that now
isnt it? Mighty bizarre thing,
coincidence is. Such a fine line
between just shrugging it off and
taking it for serious.
INT. HOSPITAL DELIVERY ROOM - 1983
Two women are sharing a delivery room, giving birth at the
same time. A team of doctors and nurses run back and forth,
tending to each expectant mother to the best of their
ability. Noise and confusion rule the day.
GRANDMA JAY
(v.o.)
The date was May 23rd, 1983. Two
women who had never met one another
were being rushed into St Marys
Hospital - labor bay 5. The one on
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
5.
GRANDMA JAY (contd)

the right is named Dorian, at the
time a burgeoning literary critic
for the University, and her husband
Richard, my son, on the verge of
graduating from medical school. To
our left we have Miranda, the
stunning florist, and wife of
Tucsons most notable entrepreneur,
Lucius - not present.
Dorian begins to experience difficulties. The doctor is busy
tending to Miranda. Everyone is yelling. Chaos.
DORIAN GRAY
Its coming! God help!
RICHARD GRAY
Doctor! Doctor!
Dorian begins to have a seizure, and the hospital lights
flicker on and off. Richards VOICE is now an echo. Dorian
rocks back in the hospital bed. The sounds of that
tumultuous day slowly FADE OUT.
Grandma Jay kneads the dough and continues to speak.
GRANDMA JAY
Well, after the accident life went
on as usual for Miranda, Lucius and
little Sammy. Life for us, the
other Grays, never was what it
should have been.
INT. ELEMENTARY SCHOOL
Its the first day of school. MRS. WALTERS stands at the
front of the room, calling out names.
GRANDMA JAY
(v.o.)
But as fate would have it, the two
Samuels would meet up again in the
4th grade.
MRS. WALTERS
Samuel Gray?
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
6.
Both boys, who are sitting next to each other, raise their
hands at the same time. They look across their desks and
share a smile.
CUT TO:
SERIES OF SHOTS
1) THE TWO BOYS RIDE BIKES TOGETHER DOWN A SUBURBAN STREET
2) IN CLASS, SAMMY LOOKS OVER AT SAMUEL WHO IS STARING
INTENSELY AT HIM
3) TAKING A TEST, SAMMY FINISHES FIRST AND GETS UP TO HAND
IN THE PAPER. THIS CAUSES SAMUEL TO HURRIEDLY FINISH HIS OWN
TEST, RANDOMLY FILLING IN THE SCANTRON BUBBLES
GRANDMA JAY
(v.o.)
Now, in my Samuels case he never
had some of the educational head
starts that little Sammy Gray was
offered, what with my son Richard
having given up entirely on Western
medicine and his crazy old Grandma
raising him. Oh, the boys did the
best they could under their
respective circumstances.
Grandma Jay is back on screen, still kneading the dough.
GRANDMA JAY
Yet despite their differences, the
two boys managed to grow into their
young lives without too much
conflict. That is to say, as time
went on they were never near enough
to one another to cause trouble.
They marched to different drummers,
so to speak. Sammy with his honor
societies and volunteerism, and my
Samuel with... well, he just had
fun being a kid.
CUT TO:
7.
MONTAGE--THE DIVIDE GROWS WIDER

--SAMUEL IS NOW HIGH SCHOOL AGE. HE SITS WITH HIS BEST
FRIEND, RORY GRANGER, ON TOP OF SOME BLEACHERS. RORY IS A
TOTAL SLACKER, WITH POINTY BLONDE HAIR AND A ROGUISH CHARM.
THE PAIR PASS A BOTTLE WRAPPED IN A BROWN PAPER BAG BACK AND
FORTH. TWO GIRLS SAUNTER PAST, AND THE BOYS HOP DOWN TO GIVE
CHASE
--A PAPERBOY RIDES HIS BIKE, FULL SACK OF PAPERS OVER HIS
SHOULDERS. HE TOSSES A ROLLED UP PAPER TOWARDS A FRONT DOOR,
WHICH OPENS RIGHT AS THE PAPER MAKES CONTACT. PRINCIPAL
HANNIGAN, 45, PUTS HER BRIEFCASE DOWN AND PICKS THE PAPER
UP. SHE FLIPS OPEN TO A SMALL ARTICLE THAT READS "GRAY WINS
TRI STATE SCIENCE FAIR"
--INSIDE A HIGH SCHOOL SCIENCE ROOM, A CLASS LISTENS TO THE
TEACHER ATTENTIVELY. SAMUEL GRAY, LOOKING BORED, MOMENTARILY
DIPS UNDER THE LAB TABLE HE SHARES WITH RORY
--THE MAYOR AND TWO ASSOCIATES ENJOY LUNCH AT A LOCAL DINER.
ONE ASSOCIATE IS READING THE PAPER. HE FOLDS THE FRONT PAGE
BACK AND A BIGGER HEADLINE READS "MAYOR FOLLOWS GRAYS LEAD
TO VICTORY"
--BACK IN THE SCIENCE CLASSROOM, SAMUEL JUMPS UP FROM
UNDERNEATH THE TABLE. HIS MOUTH IS NOW FULL OF WHITE FOAM,
WHICH HE SPEWS EVERYWHERE. RORY, IN ON THE GAG, FREAKS OUT.
THE TEACHER DRAGS THE RABID SAMUEL OFF SCREEN
--IN A MEETING WITH THE MAYOR AND CITY COUNCIL, AN EXCITED
SAMMY GRAY GIVES A PRESENTATION. HE REVEALS A CHART THAT
READS "WHY RAISE MINIMUM WAGE?" AND AT THE BOTTOM READS
"BECAUSE IT FEELS GOOD!" THE MAYOR AND HIS CITY COUNCILMAN
ALL NOD IN AGREEMENT
--NOW IN DETENTION, SAMUEL READS TO HIMSELF AS RORY PLAYS
WITH A PENCIL. LINING HALF THE PENCIL OVER THE EDGE OF A
TEXTBOOK, RORY SMACKS IT AND SENDS THE PENCIL FLYING, END
OVER END, DIRECTLY INTO THE HEAD OF THE DETENTION COUNSELOR
--SAMMY IS IN HIS BEDROOM, A BRIGHTLY LIT AND CLEAN SPACE.
HE IS ATTEMPTING TO FASTEN A LARGE FAKE KEY, A GIFT FROM THE
MAYOR, TO HIS WALL WHICH IS ALREADY FULL OF FRAMED LETTERS,
AWARDS AND OTHER ACHIEVEMENTS. SAMMY MAKES ROOM FOR THE KEY
BY TAKING SOME OLDER DOCUMENTS OFF HIS TACK BOARD. HIDDEN
BENEATH SEVERAL LAYERS, AN OLD POLAROID STILL HANGS. IT IS A
PHOTO OF SAMMY AND SAMUEL GRAY FROM ELEMENTARY SCHOOL. SAMMY
EXAMINES THE PHOTO FOR A MOMENT, BEFORE TOSSING IT INTO THE
TRASH
--SAMUEL WALKS INTO HIS OWN BEDROOM, WHICH IS THE POLAR
OPPOSITE OF SAMMYS. MESSY AND GRUNGY, THERE ARE OIL
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
8.
PAINTINGS AND RANDOM MOVIE POSTERS TACKED ON HIS WALL. HE

SITS AT A DESK AND PULLS A BONG OUT FROM BEHIND A FAN.
BEFORE TAKING A HIT, SAMUEL CATCHES HIS OWN EYE IN THE
MIRROR. HE THEN PROCEEDS TO TOKE UP
END MONTAGE
Grandma Jay opens the oven door. She slides the pan of dough
in, closes up, and slowly wipes her hands clean.
GRANDMA JAY
Now most folks could just shrug off
all these past events without too
much thought. The birth, the
names.. all of it just random
occurrence, mere coincidence. Well
if thats all it is, and all it
was, and my grandson werent fated
to be... then this story Im about
to tell yall aint nothing more
than fanciful debauchery. You see
it as you may.
INT. SAMUEL GRAYS LIVING ROOM- EVENING
The 10 OClock NEWS is back from commercial. RICHARD GRAY,
45, sits cross legged on his favorite recliner. He holds a
pair of BAODING BALLS in his left hand, and a remote control
in his right.
DORIAN GRAY, 43, is stitching on the opposite end of the
room. She wears an empty smile and nods along to the 10
OClock Action News theme SONG.
CLARISSA GRAY, 11, is drawing on the floor. Samuels little
sister doesnt look up at the sound of weekend news anchor,
JENNIFER SWANSON, 34.
CUT TO:
CU TELEVISION--LOCAL NEWS SET
JENNIFER SWANSON
Thanks for that report, Gary. Im
sure were all a little wiser now
on the varied effects of rat
poison. Well, the temperature is
still climbing in Tucson and Phil
will have your complete five day
forecast.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
9.
TWO SHOT: The beautiful, if not totally qualified, news

reader shifts her focus to Sammy Gray, who shares the anchor
desk.
JENNIFER SWANSON
But first, lets turn to Tucsons
youngest egalitarian: Sammy Gray!
SAMMY GRAY
Thank you Jennifer.
SINGLE SHOT: Sammy Gray, high school senior, corresponds.
SAMMY GRAY (contd)
Tucson, last week I brought you a
story that dealt with the real
human side of the city. That of a
Mr. Brad Hardaway. This modern day
hero, and please excuse the cliche,
brought to light the tragic and
sordid underbelly of our oft times
neglected youth.
JENNIFER SWANSON
Yes, that was something special
alright.
SAMMY GRAY
I believe it made a difference. So
this week I am asking the question
of "Why?" Why do our youth go
unnoticed still? Why do our
community centers routinely turn
"punks" away from their doors? Is
it this heat thats causing our
blood to boil so easily?
JENNIFER SWANSON
It may just be that...
A sudden burst of ROCK MUSIC drowns Jennifer Swanson out.
CUT TO:
INT. SAMUEL GRAYS LIVING ROOM- EVENING
The loud MUSIC coming from Samuel Grays bedroom causes
Richard Grays Baoding balls to plop on the ground.
RICHARD GRAY
Damn that boy. Does he have to play
that racket so loud?
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
10.
DORIAN GRAY
(philosophically)
Isnt racket supposed to be loud,
dear?
RICHARD GRAY
(uncrossing his legs)
I hate missing Gray Matters. You
would think Samuel would like to
watch Sammy on TV. Theyre friends
for goodness sakes.
Clarissa rolls her eyes at that misstatement.

Richard gets up from his chair and heads for Samuels room.
RICHARD GRAY (contd)
Samuel! Turn that down!
The Gray house is well maintained by Grandma Jay, but the
general smallness of the space gives the home a cluttered
feel. Walls are decorated with artwork from Clarissa and,
much older pieces, by Samuel.
Richard reaches Samuels room, only
doing JUMPING JACKS while wearing a
mask. Richard, seemingly unfazed by
stereo off. Samuel turns around and
to find his teenage son

RED ALIEN Halloween
this scene, turns the
whips the mask off.

Samuel, turn that down. Sammys on
TV.
SAMUEL GRAY
Ooh. Am I missing a report on,
lets see, some old guy who ate a
can of dog food because he couldnt
read the label? Or no, no, wait! Is
this the one where the 4th
grader called 911 because her
Uncle "accidentally" chased down
those tranquilizers with a fifth of
gin?
Samuel leaves his father looking confused, and walks over to
a small TV where an OLD SCHOOL NINTENDO is hooked up.
RICHARD GRAY
Samuel, its Wednesday. That means
Gray Matters is on...
Samuel picks up a NES game cartridge and blows into it to
clear out the dust.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
11.

... they save the community stuff
for the Friday report, Gray Does
Tucson.
SAMUEL GRAY
Thats right. I guess Im the only
one in this town that cant keep
that kids societal activities in
check. Is Mom making anything for
dinner?
Samuel turns the Nintendo on and starts to play.
RICHARD GRAY
Lets not mention that. Your
Grandma is whipping something up
quick.
SAMUEL GRAY
Was it the blender or the
microwave?
RICHARD GRAY
Microwave. She forgot to take her
one oclock pill and decided to
mail the water bill by nuking it.
CUT TO:
CU burnt out MICROWAVE, still smoking. The timer DINGS.
CUT BACK:
Quite a mess. Could you possibly
ride down tomorrow and drop off the
check? Its already a week late.
SAMUEL GRAY
Week late, huh? Thats pretty late.
I dont know. Got a busy day
tomorrow. Rorys dad is paying me
to pick up his shirt at the
laundromat.
RICHARD GRAY
John Granger pays his son to pick
up his laundry?
Samuel continues to play the video game.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
12.
SAMUEL GRAY
No, thats what I said. Hes paying
me. You know Rory. Hes way too
lazy.
Richard sighs.
RICHARD GRAY
Well can you do it or not? I dont
want Clarissa to ride her bike all
the way downtown.
SAMUEL GRAY
Heaven forbid that kid actually get
some fresh air. Tell you what. I
get the car on Friday and the
bills as good as gone.
Before Richard can respond, a loud CLANK noise comes from
the living room. Dorian BANGS on a pot and starts SINGING.
DORIAN GRAY
Shes a lady... whoa whoa whoa
whoa!
Samuel stops playing. Richard looks concerned. Samuel gets
up and touches Richards shoulder.
SAMUEL GRAY
You go. Ill help Grandma.
INT. SAMUEL GRAYS KITCHEN - DUSK
Grandma Jay stands at the kitchen sink, slicing vegetables
into a large bowl. TAROT CARDS are spread out on the counter
to her side. Samuel walks in from his bedroom, and opens the
refrigerator door.
SAMUEL GRAY
Whats cookin good lookin?
GRANDMA JAY
Something better than that water
bill. I do believe your mother is
sliding down the dark side of the
slope.
Samuel takes a snack from the fridge and hops up to sit on
the counter opposite Grandma Jay.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
13.
SAMUEL GRAY
Nah, she just needs to stop taking
Dads kooky pills and get some real
medicine.
GRANDMA JAY
Dont go doubting the healing power
of nature. Them concoctions your
father makes are better than
anything she could get at the
doctor and it aint gonna cost her
an arm and a leg.
Grandma stops slicing her vegetables and turns to her
grandson. She walks over to adjust the stove.
GRANDMA JAY
Which reminds me. Its about time
for a refill on your stomach
medicine isnt it?
Grandma Jay stirs the contents of a pot.
GRANDMA JAY (contd)
That ulcer of yours acting up?
Samuel chews on a hunk of BEEF JERKY.
SAMUEL GRAY
Still cant eat your cooking.
Grandma Jay snatches the bag of jerky from his hands.
GRANDMA JAY
Yeah, no wonder.
SAMUEL GRAY
I just cant wait until one you
dies from lack of proper medical
attention, and Child Services can
come and take me away.
Samuel hops down off the counter and grabs Grandmas apron.
SAMUEL GRAY (contd)
(pleading)
Penicillin! Sweet, life saving
penicillin.
Grandma takes the wooden spoon from the pot shes been
stirring and shakes it at Samuel, who cringes at the brown
goo on the spoon.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
14.
SAMUEL GRAY (contd)

Oh God, whats that?
Grandma Jay and Samuel examine the BROWN GOO.
GRANDMA JAY
Another batch for Mr. Doherty. I do
believe the man suffers terribly
from jock itch.
SAMUEL GRAY
Youre making dinner alongside a
batch of jock itch cream?
GRANDMA JAY
Mmmm....
SAMUEL GRAY
I swear, one phone call and this
place gets shut down.
GRANDMA JAY
You oughta be happy I dont mix the
two of em up. Besides, its the
likes of that jock itch cream that
keeps food in your belly. You
oughta thank Mr. Doherty for
trusting your Dad with that itch of
his.
Grandma Jay walks back to the sink. As soon as she walks
past, Samuel reaches over and grabs his beef jerky snack.
SAMUEL GRAY
Nope! I should thank Mr. Doherty
for being too cheap to buy a tube
of Lotrimin.
Grandma Jay cackles.
GRANDMA JAY
Heh, you got the Devil in you, if
nothin.
SAMUEL GRAY
Yeah, right. Ill be spitting up
pea soup any minute. Speaking of, I
think were the only two people in
town not watching Gray Dorks
Tucson. Kinda makes you feel all
bad inside, but that good kind of
bad. Like when you key a Jag at the
mall.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
15.
Grandma Jay ignores that.

GRANDMA JAY
You know I dont like the
television. Especially those silly
reports your friend does.
SAMUEL GRAY
Hes not my friend.
GRANDMA JAY
Oh, right. Your sworn enemy then.
SAMUEL GRAY
Something like that.
Samuel takes a big bite from his beef jerky.
SAMUEL GRAY (contd)
Say, did you order that voodoo head
deal yet?
GRANDMA JAY
You oughta focus on your semester
tests and let me worry about ol
Mr. Voodoo head. Besides that, its
a human skull - be good for when
you apply to medical school.
SAMUEL GRAY
Ok fair enough.
Samuel starts to get back down off the counter and pauses
midway.
SAMUEL GRAY (contd)
Medical school?
Grandma Jay smiles and continues cutting vegetables. Samuel
heads back to his room, after not really helping much at
all.
SAMUEL GRAY (contd)
Just tell me when the slops ready.
INT. SAMMY GRAYS MANSION - DAY
The palatial Gray estate is tucked away within a small
canyon at the foothills of the Tucson mountains. An
elaborate water fountain gushes non-stop near the two, large
front doors. Sammy Gray, bent over under the weight of his
backpack, enters the main foyer. Classical MUSIC wafts
through the spacious home.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
16.
Quite different from Samuel Grays modest abode, this gaudy

masterpiece sparkles with gold trim and lace. Sammy walks
through the first floor, drops his backpack off, and makes
his way to the back patio.
Dinner is being served. MIRANDA GRAY, 39, scoops salad on to
glass plates. The blond beauty is kind, if not a push over.
Sitting opposite to her is LUCIUS GRAY, 50. This self-made
millionaire has slick hair, a slick suit, and a smug look on
his face. He does not thank his wife for serving him.
As Sammy walks on to the back patio, Miranda looks up and
smiles.
SAMMY GRAY
Mother, Father. Smells wonderful.
MIRANDA GRAY
I know how you love Japanese,
Sammy. Have a seat.
Sammy cautiously takes a seat between his parents. Lucius
continues to eat.
LUCIUS GRAY
Your report seemed a bit rushed
tonight, son.
Sammy takes a deep breath and unfolds his napkin over his
lap.
SAMMY GRAY
Oh, did it? I figured as much. I
wrote it twenty minutes beforehand.
Lucius lets his fork hit the plate.
LUCIUS GRAY
What do you mean? You had all week!
MIRANDA GRAY
Lucius...
Lucius turns his steely gaze to Miranda.
MIRANDA GRAY (contd)
Hes a busy boy. We can cut him
some slack now and again.
Miranda touches Sammys arm.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
17.
MIRANDA GRAY (contd)
I thought the report was fine,
dear.
Lucius sips his champagne before responding.

LUCIUS GRAY
No, Miranda. We can not. Without
proper motivation, children suffer
in the long term. We must always
think in the long term.
SAMMY GRAY
Youre right, of course. I should
have prepared better. Its just, I
was editing my entrance essay for
Princeton and lost track of time.
Lucius nods, chewing.
SAMMY GRAY (contd)
I just cant seem to keep my mind
straight these days. So much to do
and all.
LUCIUS GRAY
I wouldnt spend too much time on
the Princeton essay. Id
concentrate more on Harvard. They
will scrutinive... ahem...
scrutinize it more, I believe.
MIRANDA GRAY
Sammy, have they given out your
senior assignment projects yet?
Sammy wipes the corner of his mouth.
SAMMY GRAY
We find out tomorrow at home room.
Although I had lunch today with
Principal Hannigan and she let me
in on a few details.
Lucius looks pleased.
SAMMY GRAY (contd)
Apparently, its going to have
something to do with solving a
societal ill... which is right up
my alley... and the idea with the
highest grade gets sent up to the
City Council. Its something new
theyre trying, to erase apathy.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
18.
LUCIUS GRAY
Fantastic. Youll win, naturally.
This will give you more time to get
to know the Council. They all think
very highly of you, from what they
say to me at the office. I think
you could at least get a Letter of
Recommendation from the Deputy
Mayor.
MIRANDA GRAY
(giggles)
Lucius, lets not get ahead of
ourselves. The project isnt due
until May, and we dont even know
the topic yet.
Lucius slowly chews his food.

The sound of a SCHOOL BELL rings loudly over him.
CUT TO:
INT. HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY - NEXT DAY
The SCHOOL BELL fades out as a large BANNER is being taped
up to the wall by the janitor REGGIE, 40. The banner reads:
SENIOR PROJECT: CLEAN UP HOMELESSNESS IN TUCSON!
Samuel Gray and Rory Granger walk up to Reggie, who is
standing on a small ladder. He is struggling to get the last
corner of the banner taped up.
Samuel and Rory nudge each other. Finally, Samuel steps up.
SAMUEL GRAY
Hey, Reg. Doin OK?
REGGIE
Be doing a lot better if you two
ass wipes would stop knocking my
ladder. The hell you staring at
anyway?
RORY
Uh, were just admiring your craft
Reggie. Although youre a little
crooked on this side...
Rory starts to point out the error, when Samuel slaps his
hand back down.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
19.
SAMUEL GRAY
Yeah, Rory and I really appreciate
your work Reg. Just last week we
were discussing, over a glass of
Merlot, how fresh and sparkly the
urinals have been lately. Not a
drop of piss or misplaced pube in
sight!
Rory puts his fingers to his lips, and kisses them like an
Italian chef.
REGGIE
I know you two boys. Always dancing
around here like you own the place.
Laughing at the old smelly janitor.
Huh? Look at the monkey go!
Reggie tries to make a monkey motion but slips and nearly
falls off his ladder. The boys stifle a laugh.
REGGIE
Wait until I get off this damn
thing.
Reggie carefully gets off the ladder.
RORY
Oh, cmon Reggie. Were merely
attempting to send our kudos to
you. Being Seniors and all, weve
seen you busting your hump a long
time now.
SAMUEL GRAY
Thats it, Reg! I know my locker
hasnt been any kind of fun
cleaning out every summer, what
with the gym socks and sour milk
balloons...
Reggie looks disapprovingly at Samuel.
SAMUEL GRAY (contd)
Honestly, can we help you? Consider
it making amends.
REGGIE
Alright, let me tell you something.
I got things in that broom closet
you boys dont even want to
experience. Janitors right not to
have to take this kind of shit,
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
20.
REGGIE (contd)
especially from two wannabe losers
like yourselves.
Rory and Samuel feign hurt feelings at this remark. They

both try and look sincere. Reggie considers it.
REGGIE
Back is starting to hurt a little
bit. Guess I could use a break.
Rory nods like he totally understands.
REGGIE (contd)
You boys really want to help me
out?
RORY
Anything!
SAMUEL GRAY
Anything!
REGGIE (contd)
Fix this damn banner for me then.
Im gonna be keeping a real close
eye on you two scaliwag ditch
diggers.
Rory and Samuel now just look confused.
REGGIE (contd)
Im gonna ease on down to see Nurse
Crenshaw... bout my back. The hell
with this shit.
Reggie heads off to see the Nurse. Samuel looks around to
make sure nobody is watching. Rory grabs the ladder and they
run off in the opposite direction.
INT. HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY - SAME DAY
Now in a different hallway, Rory places the ladder directly
underneath an overhanging row of fluorescent lights. Samuel
acts as the look out.
Rory climbs the ladder and reaches for something in the
lights.
RORY
So, what are you going to do about
that bullshit project?
Rory locates a FLASK resting on top of the light casing, and
pulls it down.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
21.
SAMUEL GRAY
Probably nothing.
Rory starts to climb down the ladder.

RORY
Dude, you gotta do something.
Nobody gets out of here until they
write that essay.
SAMUEL GRAY
Im not too corked up about it. If
I dont graduate, Ill just move to
the Bahamas and set up my foot
massage parlor on the beach, as
planned.
Rory rolls his eyes.
SAMUEL GRAY (contd)
Honestly, if the dutifully elected
City Council cant put together a
social program without the help of
a bunch of punk kids, then why
should I remain under their rule?
Fuck em!
Samuel places his back against a wall and slides down on to
his butt. Rory walks over to him.
RORY
Just do something, will ya smart
ass? I want to get drunk on
graduation night, and it wont be
any fun without you.
Rory sits down next to his best friend. They each take a sip
of liquor from the flask.
RORY (contd)
So... Clean Up Homelessness, huh?
Jesus, thats tough. Bums cant do
much of anything, just sit on their
asses holding their filthy hands
out.
Rory sticks his free hand out, in mocking gesture, and
notices that his own hand is quite dirty. He rubs it on his
jeans.
RORY (contd)
Poor souls.
Samuel takes a pull from the flask.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
22.
SAMUEL GRAY
I think the only way to clean up
the homeless is to give them all a
bath.
Rory chuckles at the thought.

SAMUEL GRAY (contd)
You know, throw em in a big
swimming pool. Give them some soap.
And we could hire guards to scrub
the bums with oversized mops. They
get clean. They get jobs. They get
off the street. Its a three tiered
plan.
RORY
Dude, I would give you twenty bucks
if you wrote that for your project.
It would just be worth the look on
Hannigans fat face.
SAMUEL GRAY
Well see.
Samuel takes another sip as a pair of doors open up at the
end of the hallway. Walking backwards into the hallway,
leading a group of students, is Sammy Gray. He is giving a
big speech.
SAMMY GRAY
People! People!
The sound of Sammys voice causes Rory and Samuel to sit up
and put the flask away.
SAMMY GRAY (contd)
You have six months to complete
your Senior Projects, which should
be plenty of time if you begin now.
Samuel and Rory are now standing a few feet behind Sammy,
who hasnt noticed them.
SAMMY GRAY (contd)
As your Student Body Samuel fakes a loud cough.
SAMUEL GRAY
- Wanker!
Sammy spins around. Rory laughs.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
23.
SAMMY GRAY
Ah, Samuel. Of course.
Sammy clasps his hands together, professorially.
SAMMY GRAY (contd)
I was just talking about the Senior
Project that was recently assigned.
Im sure we can expect great things
from you, no? Why I can remember
your projects from previous years.
All masterpieces.
Samuel nods approvingly.
SAMMY GRAY (contd)
The exploding frog Freshman Year?
CUT TO:
INT. SCIENCE FAIR
A young Science Fair judge leans over to examine a project
titled simply "FROG," which explodes and sends GREEN GOO
flying into his face.
CUT BACK:
SAMMY GRAY
The, what was it? Vomiting Volcano
last year?
CUT TO:
INT. SCIENCE FAIR
The same judge, looking wary, examines a project titled
"VOLCANO," which abruptly belches and sends RED SLIME flying
up into his face.
CUT BACK:
SAMMY GRAY
And I cant seem to remember if you
even had one as a sophomore.
CUT TO:
24.
INT. SCIENCE FAIR
The judge is not present, but there is a project titled
"MIRACLE OF DIGESTION" which, after a moment, also explodes
and sends BROWN GOO flying everywhere.
CUT BACK:
SAMUEL GRAY
Lets see if we can find a way to
jog your memory.
RORY
Brass knuckles?
SAMUEL GRAY
Brass knuckles.
SAMMY GRAY
Ooh, such hostility. Keep it up,
champ.
Sammy turns back to his group of students.
SAMMY GRAY (contd)
So, like I was saying... as your
President, I can assure you that
teachers will be on hand at all
times for assistance during the
school day. This project is second
in importance only to the SATsSammy turns his head towards Samuel and Rory.
SAMMY GRAY (contd)
If, naturally, you plan on
attending college.
Smiling, he turns back to the students.
SAMMY GRAY (contd)
So buck up, and get to it. Thank
you.
The students half-heartedly CLAP and slowly wander off.
Samuel and Rory clap the loudest.
RORY
Good speech, Sammy. Good speech.
Youve got a bright future training
retarded poodles how to lick
themselves.
Samuel and Rory slap hands and SNICKER.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
25.
SAMMY GRAY
Too crude, Mr. Granger. But that
type of humor just might save your
ass in prison. So keep em
laughing.
Rorys smile quickly fades. Samuel slaps his shoulder.
SAMUEL GRAY
Come on Rory, well leave the worm
to his dirt so to speak.
RORY
Yeah, fine.
The pair turn to leave.
SAMMY GRAY
Good move, Samuel. You wouldnt
want to bring any more shame to
your family by getting expelled six
months before graduation for
drinking on school grounds.
Samuel and Rory stop, and turn back around. Samuel does not
look pleased.
SAMMY GRAY (contd)
Not that your family could be any
more shamed.
Samuel rushes towards Sammy, fists raised. Sammy looks
startled and moves backwards. Rory tries to stop Samuel.
SAMUEL GRAY
Say one more word about my family.
Expulsion or notAround the corner, at the worst possible moment, walks
PRINCIPAL HANNIGAN, 44. The portly female Principal, single
and child less, is carrying a manila envelope. Her hair is
up in a bun.
PRINCIPAL HANNIGAN
Gentlemen! May I ask whats going
on here?
SAMMY GRAY
Principal Hammigam -- Hannigan! How
are you?
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
26.
PRINCIPAL HANNIGAN
Fine. Mr. Gray... Samuel Gray.
Arent you supposed to be in
English?
SAMUEL GRAY
Yeah, but I figured I could take
the day off, seeing as how I
already know the language and all.
PRINCIPAL HANNIGAN
By your last report card, I say you
could still use some work.
Rory and Samuel dont move.

PRINCIPAL HANNIGAN (contd)
Mr. Gray! Stop your lolly-gagging
and take Granger with you.
RORY
(bows)
Yes, mlord.
Samuel gives Sammy one last look before exiting with Rory.
With them gone, Principal Hannigan turns back to Sammy with
a wide smile.
PRINCIPAL HANNIGAN
Now, Sammy! I wanted to talk with
you a little more about the Senior
Project. I think you have the best
chance of anyone in your class to
win. Do you have any ideas so far?
Sammy gets excited.
SAMMY GRAY
Oh, yes Principal Hannigan. Ive
been in the library since home room
researching other citys successes
and failures with the matter. It
seems St. Louis has had mild
succe-Principal Hannigan interrupts.
PRINCIPAL
Very good, Sammy. I
on the ball. Thats
to help some of the
HANNIGAN
knew youd be
why I want you
other students.
Sammys shoulders slump a bit. He doesnt look pleased at

what hes about to hear.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
27.

I have here a list of peers in
particular that need extra
attention. Nicole Bartell, Randy
Magiera...
Sammy and Principal Hannigan continue to walk, but Sammys
enthusiasm has clearly waned.
INT. SAMUEL GRAYS BEDROOM - NIGHT
Samuels room is bathed in moonlight as the young man
dreams. He tosses and turns.
BEGIN DREAM SEQUENCE:
INT. NEWS STUDIO - NIGHT - DREAM
Samuel walks through the local news station holding a lit
candle. The overhead lights are off, and the only
illumination comes from the candle and a bank of monitors
stuck on color bars.
Samuel approaches the anchor desk. Lights flash from beyond
the desk. One anchor chair slowly turns towards Samuel,
revealing a POMERANIAN dog wearing a PINK RIBBON.
The second anchor chair then slowly spins around, revealing
a MODEL SKELETON dressed as Sammy Gray.
END DREAM SEQUENCE
CUT TO:
CU TELEVISION SCREEN--TV COMMERCIAL
EXT. USED CAR DEALERSHIP - DAY
Old RANDY JENKINS, 67, bounds across the screen riding a
hobby horse. His limitless energy demands our attention. He
stops mid-way, turns to the camera and whips off his cowboy
hat with a big WHOOOP!
RANDY JENKINS
So, come on down folks to Old Randy
Jenkins Chevrolet and Nissan where
you can count on the best dang
deals in the valley! Did you say
something about that Wilma?
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
28.
The camera quickly pans over to find WILMA, 103. The senior
citizen is sitting in a wooden rocking chair, wearing a pair
of Blue Blockers and holding a prop shotgun over her lap.
She struggles to read her lines.
WILMA
I said... dang it, Randy. I cant
read them cards. Who printed these
anyway?
Wilma takes off her Blue Blockers and leans forward. The CUE
CARD GUY looks down at the placards he holds up and shrugs.
WILMA (contd)
The letters are tiny. Like meadow
bugs.
The camera jolts back to Randy.
RANDY JENKINS
(awkward)
Yes, yes... this is live
participation. You folks know about
ol Wilma. But to show you that
December in Tucson doesnt have to
mean frigid savings, Ill match
this crazy heat wave by continuing
Hot Deals on Wheels Month right
here at Old Randy Jenkins! What was
that, Saaammmmyyy Gray?
The camera pans over, past Wilma, to find Sammy Gray sitting
on a big stack of fiberglass hay that pours from the back of
a pick up truck.
SAMMY GRAY
Thanks, Randy! Hey, folks, its
true that December is still a Hot
Deals on Wheels month and its also
true that when you purchase a new
Chevrolet or Nissan pick up truck,
Old Randy Jenkins here will make a
donation to the Sammy Gray
Foundation, which helps our
Mexican-American friends find homes
and jobs. Its a worthy causeRANDY JENKINS
Times up kid!
Sammy abruptly stops and the single camera pans all the way
back to Randy Jenkins.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
29.
RANDY JENKINS (contd)
So come on down to Old Randy
Jenkins, Hot Deals on Wheels Month,
Chevrolet, Nissan, and buy a dang
car! Where else you gonna go? Yee
haw!
INT. PRINCIPAL HANNIGANS OFFICE - DAY

Principal Hannigan is tidying up her desk when Samuel Grays
head pops into the doorway. Hes holding a GREEN SLIP.
SAMUEL GRAY
You rang?
Principal Hannigan closes her desk drawer and sighs.
PRINCIPAL HANNIGAN
Yes, Samuel. Come in and have a
seat.
Samuel nonchalantly makes his way into the office.
SAMUEL GRAY
You know, Im missing Math for
this.
PRINCIPAL HANNIGAN
No, youre missing Biology. Math is
next period.
Samuel thinks about this as he sits down.
SAMUEL GRAY
Jesus, youre right. Oh well, so
what did I do? Im assuming Im in
trouble...
Samuel picks up a FUZZY PEN from Hannigans desk and twirls
it in his fingers.
SAMUEL GRAY (contd)
... unless youve changed your mind
and decided to give me an honorary
plaque for being such a fun guy?
Hannigan doesnt smile.
PRINCIPAL HANNIGAN
I received your treatment on my
desk this morning. Mr. Hopkins
rushed it over as soon as he read
it.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
30.
SAMUEL GRAY
You know that guy has a crush on
you, right?
Samuels faux sincerity actually catches the Principal off
guard for a moment.
PRINCIPAL HANNIGAN
Wha...? No, now, come on Samuel!
This is serious business.
CUT TO:
INT. HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY
Sammy Gray is walking down the hallway, towards Principal
Hannigans office. He is carrying a box of holiday
decorations. As he approaches, he begins to overhear the
Principal yelling at Samuel.
PRINCIPAL HANNIGAN
(o.s.)
You have six months left in your
mediocre academic career, thats
it. Then youre out of here. Its
what youve wanted since the first
day of Freshman Year.
Stopping, Sammy puts the box down and peers into the office
from the hallway. Front row seat.
CUT BACK:
INT. PRINCIPAL HANNIGANS OFFICE
PRINCIPAL HANNIGAN
All you have to do is complete one
essay. One final project. Its even
subjective for Gods sake. The
answer to your prayers lies in one
fifteen page essay, plus diagrams
if necessary. A little research, a
little elbow grease, and youre
done. You graduate! Barely. And
what is your response to this
golden ticket?
Hannigan shakes Samuels report in the air.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
31.
Operation Scrub Bum.
SAMUEL GRAY
I thought you said it was
subjective?
PRINCIPAL HANNIGAN
Yes, Samuel. Subjective to a
reasonable point. Did you honestly
expect us to consider gathering up
all the homeless people in Tucson
and bathing them in the Desert
Oasis indoor pool? Not only would
it be a logistical nightmare, its
just plain stupid. It doesnt solve
the fact that theyre homeless,
clean or otherwise.
CUT TO:
Sammy is enjoying the show and doesnt notice Reggie the
janitor turn the corner. The man with the mop bucket notices
the student eavesdropping and walks towards him.
CUT BACK:
Hannigan clears her throat and calms down before proceeding.
PRINCIPAL HANNIGAN
After reading this I can see you
didnt put much time into it, but
Samuels there some good stuff
here. Youre a natural writer. Now
lets go over this and see how you
might present it to the City
Council. Only the good parts.
SAMUEL
Are you serious?
could never win.
probably already
GRAY
Thats retarded. I
Your boy Sammy
has.
PRINCIPAL HANNIGAN
Thats not true, Samuel. If you
expanded some of this, narrowed
your focus down you might actually
have a reasonable plan here.
32.
CUT TO:
Sammy looks most distraught at this turn of events.
Unfortunately, he doesnt have time to think it through
before Reggies wet mop comes soaring towards his head.
REGGIE
Thats right creep-o. This time
youre mine.
The mop connects with Sammy and bowls the boy right over on
to his butt. Reggies proud expression drops once he
realizes who he has mopped.
REGGIE (contd)
Oh, Mr. Gray! Ooh, uh oh.
Principal Hannigan and Samuel rush out of the office, into
the hallway. Samuel is already laughing.
PRINCIPAL HANNIGAN
Sammy? Whats going on here?
Reggie grips his mop handle nervously.
Reginald?
SAMUEL GRAY
Looks like the monkey took the
banana on this one. Nice hair,
Sammy.
Hannigan rubs her temples.
PRINCIPAL HANNIGAN
Samuel, you may go. Sammy, into my
office. Theres a towel in my desk,
go dry off. Reginald, may I have a
word?
Principal Hannigan leads Reggie away by the arm. Samuel
skips away in the opposite direction, and Sammy enters the
office.
33.

Sammy opens the top drawer and pulls out a towel. He pats
his head, before pausing. He picks something else up from
the desk: SAMUELS REPORT. Glancing around, he tucks the
paper into his shirt and exits.
INT. SAMMY GRAYS BEDROOM - SAME DAY
Sammy is now in his brightly lit bedroom, Samuels report in
hand. He flips the report open to page one, which is a
nicely drawn diagram illustrating "Bums" swimming in a pool.
They all look happy. Samuel also diagramed the CLEAN BUMS in
new SUITS, getting handed BAGS OF MONEY.
At the top of the paper reads: A THREE TIERED PLAN
Sammy seems concerned.
CUT TO:
EXT. SAMMY GRAYS MANSION
The large front doors of the Gray Estate swing open and
Sammy Gray runs out. The report is clenched between his
teeth as Sammy tries to both run and straighten his tie.
He hops into a white SUV and speeds away down the road.
INT. CITY COUNCIL CHAMBERS - SAME DAY
The staid atmosphere of the Tucson City Council chamber is
momentarily disturbed as Sammy Gray enters, slightly out of
breath. He begins to approach the Council.
MAYOR ROBBINS, 42, a short, jolly fellow who wears a cowboy
hat at all times, takes notice of Sammy.
MAYOR ROBBINS
Sammy Gray! Is that you?
SAMMY GRAY
Yes, Mayor Robbins, it is. Sorry to
just burst in like this. I hope I
wasnt interrupting anything
important.
Mayor Robbins looks at his notes, shrugging.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
34.
DEPUTY MAYOR GRATTAN
No Sammy. We always have time for
you! We were just discussing the
upcoming Water Bill, in fact.
Shot of a COUNCILMAN looking extremely "spaced out."

(o.s.)
Perhaps youd like to sit in?
Sammy smiles graciously.
DEPUTY MAYOR GRATTAN (contd)
The Council is always open to new
ideas, as you know.
SAMMY GRAY
Yes, Deputy Mayor Grattan, I know
all about that. In fact, thats why
Im here now- to talk with you all
about the Senior Project that was
recently assigned.
MAYOR ROBBINS
Yes, yes, Sammy! Clean Up
Homelessness. Weve had a heck of a
time tackling that one. Hopefully
you whipper snappers will come up
with something grand. Course, we
have very high hopes for you,
Sammy.
Mayor Robbins looks admiringly at Sammy.
SAMMY GRAY
Well thank you Mayor Robbins, I
appreciate that. And I know you
gentlemen always have the towns
best interests in mind. Otherwise,
why would you ask for so much
outside suggestion?
Mayor Robbins nods in agreement.
Naturally, Sammy. The Council feels
that, who better to serve the
public than the public themselves?
SAMMY GRAY
I couldnt have said it better
myself!
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
35.
MAYOR ROBBINS
So Sammy, why are you here exactly?
SAMMY GRAY
As you know, the Senior Projects
arent due for another six months
and, trust me, the students at
Tucson High are hurriedly getting
to it.
CUT TO:
EXT. BACK PORCH - DAY
Two scruffy high school slackers, JOE and RICKY, are sitting
on a dusty love seat watching an old TV. Flies buzz around
their heads.
CUT BACK:
INT. CITY COUNCIL CHAMBERS
MAYOR ROBBINS
Why of course they are. We wouldnt
have trusted such an important
issue as homelessness to a group of
nitwits.
Sammy pauses.
SAMMY GRAY
Right. Well, gentlemen, Id like to
make a proposition to you all right
now, on the spot. Ive come up with
the ideal plan to clean up the
homeless in this city. Now, its a
three tiered solution so, please,
bear with...
Im sure your idea is fantastic,
Sammy. But son, the project isnt
due for another six months. It just
wouldnt be fair to the other hard
working students.
Sammy cant help but roll his eyes.
SAMMY GRAY
Yes, Deputy Mayor, but... I feel
personally that its not fair for
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
36.
SAMMY GRAY (contd)

the homeless of this city to suffer
for another six months. Havent
they suffered enough already?
MAYOR ROBBINS
Yes, they have Sammy.
Mayor Robbins pushes his comfy plush chair back and stands
up to give a speech.
MAYOR ROBBINS (contd)
And your heart is in the right
place, son. I feel for them. Damn
it how I do. The wretched
creatures, what with their
addictions and various aromas. I
can remember a time when the
homeless were a happier lot, Sammy.
Riding on trains, eating sardines
and the such.
Sammy smiles patiently.
My but those days are gone, Im
afraid. Its the age of herpes and
dust mites, young man.
The Mayor looks around at his Council.
Gentlemen! I believe our young
friend here deserves a soap box to
stand on. For the bums of this city
have suffered enough!
Mayor Robbins slaps his hand down on the desk, hard.
Rise up, penniless beggars, and
hear the war cry of a Mister Sammy
Gray!
The Mayor sits back down.
You may proceed, dear boy.
Sammy isnt sure where to begin.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
37.
SAMMY GRAY
Um. Uh, yes, of course Mayor
Robbins. (beat) Gentleman, of the
Council, I come before you today
with an... unusual... request. Now,
at first it might seem like a
logistical nightmare, but I assure
you it is more than plausible. I
call this mission, Operation Scrub
Bum.
Mayor Robbins starts to CLAP and sits up tall in his chair.
MAYOR ROBBINS
I love it. Sammy, do you have the
necessary paperwork to put this
plan into action?
SAMMY GRAY
Well, uh, yes Mayor Robbins I could
have them on your desk in twenty
minutes. Dont you want to see what
the actual plan is first?
Ho ho, Sammy. Now of all your
ideas, how many have we voted down?
SAMMY GRAY
None, Deputy Mayor. All the bills
Ive written have been passed, and
have since proved successful.
MAYOR ROBBINS
You see, Sammy? Nearly ten years
youve been waddling in here, and
never once have you been wrong. So
forgive us, in this crazy disco
age, if weve begun to take you for
granted. Im sure this Operation
Hub Bub will be brilliant, and Im
willing to put my entire weight
behind it, as I feel the whole of
the Council will, too.
The Councilman all nod in agreement. Sammy is elated.
SAMMY GRAY
Thank you, sir! Thank you, Coucil.
I wont disappoint.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
38.

Of course not Sammy. Disappoint
isnt in the Gray vocabulary, as
your Father likes to say.
SAMMY GRAY
Right, as my Father likes to say.
Well then, gentlemen, Ill be on
way. Phase One of Operation Scrub
Bum will begin in one weeks time!
Well have this problem on its way
out before Christmas. Thank you
all.
Sammy exits the City Council chambers. Mayor Robbins turns
to his Councilman, and claps his hands together.
MAYOR ROBBINS
Now! Anyone up for a game of...
Scrabble!?
They all nod in agreement.
Grandma Jay wipes down the counter with an old rag. She
looks up, speaking to the audience.
Ooh,
This
Its
done
GRANDMA JAY
that devious little Sammy.
part always curdles my milk.
blatant and obvious that he
stole my Samuels report.
Grandma Jay stops wiping the counter.

GRANDMA JAY (contd)
Yknow, it aint like the report
was very good, but the principle of
it remains the same! Now, Sammy had
but one week to organize this
Operation Whats-it-Scrub and get
himself a place on the front page
again.
EXT. TUCSON CITY PARK - DAY
Sammy is holding court with a group of homeless men. A table
is set up with food and punch. Sammy shows off a large
diagram explaining what will happen when they get
Scrubbed. The diagram is insulting, to say the least.
39.
An UNKNOWN MAN with a SHOPPING CART decides hes had enough.

He throws his free bagel on the ground and turns to leave. A
SECURITY GUARD grabs his shoulders and forcibly turns him
back around.
INT. SAMUEL GRAYS LIVINGROOM- EVENING
Dorian and Richard sit in their recliners, basked in the
glow of their flickering TV set. Clarissa is lying on her
stomach, drawing.
Oddly, Samuel is present during family TV time. He hovers at
the back of room, standing behind Richards armchair.
JENNIFER SWANSON
(v.o.)
OK Tucson, we are about to go live
at the Tucson Oasis where our very
own Sammy Gray is awaiting our
feed. (beat) Lets see...
CUT TO:
CU TELEVISION SCREEN--LOCAL NEWS SET
SINGLE SHOT: Jennifer Swanson, looking good as usual, reads
the news.
JENNIFER SWANSON (contd)
(squinting)
Hes about to present a new fight
in the era against homelessness in
Tucson.
SAMUEL GRAY
(v.o.)
No way...
JENNIFER SWANSON
(having trouble reading)
Last week, the City Council
approved a new bill entitled...
Operation Scrub Bum?
Jennifer shakes her head and turns to someone off screen.
(whispering)
Is that correct?
CUT TO:
40.
INT. LOCAL NEWS STUDIO

The same dopey CUE CARD GUY from the Old Randy Jenkins
commercial looks down at the small letters on his cards, and
then back up at Jennifer. He shrugs.
CUT BACK:
JENNIFER SWANSON
OK, I think it says Phase One of
Sammys highly regarded plan is
about to commence. Of course, Sammy
hasnt let us down in the past.
Lets see what hes been up to. I
hear were ready to receive him.
Sammy, are you there?
SAMMY GRAY
(v.o., distorted audio)
Yes, Jennifer. Hello!
INT. TUCSON OASIS INDOOR POOL
Sammy Gray, dressed in a blue button down and sharp tie,
stands in front of a medium sized indoor swimming pool. The
water is calm.
SAMMY GRAY
And hello to all of you at home.
CUT TO:
EXT. BACK PORCH
The two slackers, Joe and Ricky, are asleep on the love
seat. The NEWS is playing on their little TV.
SAMMY GRAY
My name of course is Sammy Gray...
The sound of Sammys distorted, scratchy voice wakes Ricky
up. He begins to watch.
CUT BACK:
41.

A line of HOMELESS MEN wearing red bathing suits marches in
from the locker room. Guards, armed with oversized mop-like
brushes, push them along like cattle.
SAMMY GRAY
Tonight, we are broadcasting live
from the downtown Tucson Oasis,
where Phase One of Operation Scrub
Bum is about to begin.
UNKNOWN MAN does not look pleased to be there, and stops in
his tracks. One particularly brutish guard pushes him hard
in the back to keep him moving.
SAMMY GRAY (contd)
This plan was conceived thanks to
the generous help of the Tucson
City Council, and especially Mayor
Robbins.
CUT TO:
INT. MAYOR ROBBINS LIVING ROOM - SAME EVENING
The Mayor and his wife occupy two recliners in their living
room, and standing behind them, in the shadows, are the men
of the City Council. The TV is on, and the light flickers
off their faces.
Everyone WHOOPS and HOLLERS at their mention by Sammy Gray.
CUT BACK:
The line of homeless men are now positioned alongside the
pools edge. Each man holds a bar of soap.
SAMMY GRAY
As you can see behind me, Jennifer,
weve gathered a large group of
homeless men together.
CUT TO:
42.
INT. PRINCIPAL HANNIGANS HOME - SAME EVENING
Principal Hannigan is sitting alone at her kitchen counter,
eating a microwave dinner and drinking a glass of wine.
SAMMY GRAY
These men have been issued standard
swimsuits...
As she watches Sammys plan unfold, her fork falls to her
plate.
CUT BACK:
SAMMY GRAY
... for modesty sake, and a bar of
soap.
CUT TO:
INT. SAMUEL GRAYS LIVINGROOM- SAME EVENING
Samuel watches from the back of the living room, mouth
agape.
SAMUEL GRAY
You have got to be kidding me!
CUT TO:
CU TELEVSION SCREEN--LOCAL NEWS SET
JENNIFER SWANSON
Yes, with this weather weve been
experiencing lately, a swim doesnt
sound like a bad idea! But
seriously Sammy, what are you
hoping to accomplish with this?
CU TELEVISION SCREEN--TUCSON OASIS INDOOR POOL
The camera switches to Sammys feed. Sammy is holding his
ear piece.
SAMMY GRAY
(distorted audio)
Well, Jennifer, its a three tier
plan...
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
43.
SAMUEL GRAY
(v.o.)
That little asshole!
At that moment, Sammye ear piece emits a high pitch SQUEAL.
He cringes in pain.
SAMUEL GRAY (contd)
(v.o.)
I cant believe him!
Sammy fumbles with his ear piece and looks back into the
camera.
SAMMY GRAY
(distorted audio)
Uh, sorry?
JENNIFER SWANSON
I said, what is the point of
washing the homeless? I mean what
are you hoping to accomplish?
Now a TECHNICIAN is out by Sammys side, trying to fix the
audio issue.
SAMMY GRAY
(distorted audio)
Uh, sorry Jennifer. No go on the
communication front. Were about to
begin anyway.
Behind Sammy, the UNKNOWN MAN makes his move. He tries to
run around the pool, but is immediately stopped by the
brutish guard. The guard pushes him back with the mop-like
brush. UNKNOWN MAN takes a swing at the guard, who ducks the
punch and retaliates by hitting the UNKNOWN MAN in his ribs
with the mop handle.
UNKNOWN MAN hits the ground like a ton of bricks, and all
hell breaks loose at the Tucson Oasis.
44.

Jennifer Swanson looks off screen again, shocked.
JENNIFER SWANSON
Oh my God...
Several homeless men jump into the swimming pool, throwing
their bars of soap in the air. Sammy tries to manage the
guards.
EXT. BACK PORCH
Laughing, Ricky slaps Joe on the chest, waking him up. Ricky
can only point towards the TV.
CUT TO:
The smallest homeless man sneaks under the guards arm and
races around the pool in Sammys direction. Sammy,
microphone still in hand, tries to grab the man. Instead,
the small man grabs Sammy and they both topple into the
swimming pool.
Samuel explodes with laughter.
INT. MAYOR ROBBINS LIVING ROOM - SAME EVENING
The Mayor leans forward in his armchair, a worried look on
his face. The City Council all react with disgust.
Jennifer Swanson looks frantic and unsure.
JENNIFER SWANSON
Are we sure those people are all
right?
45.

UNKNOWN MAN is still on the cold, wet concrete clutching his
ribs. He glares at the camera.
CUT TO:
JENNIFER SWANSON
That was an interesting turn of
events for Operation Scrub Bum.
Samuel is still laughing hard. Tears are streaming down his
cheeks. He leans on Richards recliner, causing the chair to
rock back and forth.
SAMUEL GRAY
What a sneak! What a thief!
Everyone looks at Samuel, who is out of breath.
SAMUEL GRAY (contd)
Dad, that Operation Scrub Bum idea
was mine!
Catching his breath, but still laughing, Samuel clutches his
stomach.
SAMUEL GRAY (contd)
Jesus, my stomach.
His smile turns into a pained look. Samuel kneels down
beside Richards chair.
RICHARD GRAY
If thats true, son, I wouldnt be
going around town taking credit.
Kind of back fired, didnt it? Are
you OK?
From across the room, Dorian Gray puts her crochet down and
stands up to make a proclamation.
DORIAN GRAY
As the late, great, Winston
Churchill once said, "The bums of
this world will one day rise up and
inherit thine flaccid womb."
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
46.
Dorian begins to weep. Richard looks at Samuel, and shakes

his head.
DORIAN GRAY (contd)
(crying)
Oh how I miss that man!
Clarissa leads the emotional Dorian out of the room. Samuel
fumes.
INT. PRINCIPAL HANNIGANS OFFICE - FOLLOWING DAY
Sammy Gray has his head down, sitting in front of Principal
Hannigans desk. He remains silent as Hannigan finishes up
some paperwork.
Samuel literally skips into the office, a smile glazed
across his face. He pauses mid-skip when he reaches
Hannigans desk. Samuel looks at Sammy, who does not return
his look.
SAMUEL GRAY
Im sorry, am I interrupting
something?
Principal Hannigan doesnt play along.
PRINCIPAL HANNIGAN
Samuel, have a seat.
Samuel hops into the empty chair next to Sammy.
SAMUEL GRAY
Hi, Sammy. Having a good day?
PRINCIPAL HANNIGAN
Thats enough, Samuel. Ive already
spoken to Sammy about his recent
actions, I dont need any help from
you.
SAMUEL GRAY
Right, right. So sorry.
PRINCIPAL HANNIGAN
Now boys, I wanted to speak to you
both about this hostility Ive
noticed recently. I just dont
understand it.
Hannigan waits, and waits, but neither boy responds. She
sighs.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
47.

Sammy, will you at least tell
Samuel youre sorry for stealing
his report?
SAMMY GRAY
Sorry? Of course Im sorry. That
was the most ridiculous thing ever
put on paper.
SAMUEL GRAY
I dont know, Miss Hannigan. That
doesnt sound like much of an
apology to me. Tell it like you
mean it, Sammy boy.
Hannigan holds her hand up.
PRINCIPAL HANNIGAN
Sammy, please, we need earnest
closure here. Youve been given
your punishment, you must accept it
and move on. You must follow your
fathers advice.
SAMMY GRAY
Why? He no longer has any interest
in being my father. Hes ashamed.
SAMUEL GRAY
Son, were all ashamed.
PRINCIPAL HANNIGAN
Samuel! I will ask you to leave if
you keep that crap up. Sammy...
SAMMY GRAY
Principal Hannigan, may I be
excused? I really dont feel like
discussing my familial problems
around him.
SAMUEL GRAY
Why not, dipshit? Youre the one
with the perfect family, right? Im
the one with the retard mother and
quack for a dad?
PRINCIPAL HANNIGAN
Samuel-
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
48.
SAMMY GRAY
Youre retard mother is none of my
concern. And as far as your father
goesPRINCIPAL HANNIGAN
Both of you! Alright, alright!
Thats enough from both of you.
The boys turn back towards Hannigan, who is visibly

frustrated.
Obviously this was a mistake.
Sammy, your permanent record will
reflect this thievery. I just dont
know what to say to you anymore.
Samuel, you may be excused.
SAMUEL GRAY
Sure thing, hot stuff. Sammy, dont
worry about it. I hear Harvard has
a soft spot for academic pirates.
Samuel gets up to exit the office. He begins to sing on his
way out.
SAMUEL GRAY (contd)
Someones going to J.C. / And his
name is Sam-my!
INT. SAMUEL GRAYS DINING ROOM - CHRISTMAS EVE
The family Gray is settled around the dining room table for
a big Christmas dinner. Everyone looks a bit anxious as
Dorian serves up the food. The GRAVY BOWL is chugging around
the table atop a TOY TRAIN. This might not be a bad way to
get gravy around, if the train werent adorned with lit
candles.
Richard, at the head of the table, CLAPS his hands together.
RICHARD GRAY
Dorian, this looks like a lovely
meal!
Grandma Jay sits next to Samuel. She whispers to him.
GRANDMA JAY
Whats with the train?
Dorian raises her glass of water in salute.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
49.
DORIAN GRAY
This Christmas meal is in honor of
Sammy Gray!
SAMUEL GRAY
What?
RICHARD GRAY
Dear?
DORIAN GRAY
I thought it would be a nice
gesture. That poor boy works so
hard, dont you know? And I think
we all need to remember what a good
person he is. A fine citizen too.
RICHARD GRAY
Very well.
Richard raises his own glass of water.
To Sammy!
SAMUEL GRAY
Fuck that.
GRANDMA JAY
Oh, mercy.
RICHARD GRAY
Now, Samuel, your mother has cooked
a very nice meal.
SAMUEL GRAY
Dad, theres a train going around
the table. Is that normal?
GRANDMA JAY
No... its not.
SAMUEL GRAY
Mom, Sammy stole that report. Hes
a thief, cant you see that? We
shouldnt be toasting him, we
should be burning him in effigy!
And I repeat, theres a train going
around the fucking table - is that
normal?
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
50.
CLARISSA
Im the Engineer.
SAMUEL GRAY
And Im the damn lion tamer. Lets
just turn this place into a circus!
Grandma can be the bearded lady and
Dad, you can be the guy who bites
heads off chickens.
DORIAN GRAY
The geek!
RICHARD GRAY
Oh for Gods sake...
SAMUEL GRAY
Yes, Mom, very good. I guess you
dont have to be anything but
yourself in the Gray family circus,
since we dont already have a
chemically imbalanced lay about!
Dorian immediately bursts into tears. Samuel bites his lip
and looks down at his feet.
RICHARD GRAY
Now, Samuel, thats just about
enough! I want you to leave the
table.
SAMUEL GRAY
Fine.
Samuel blows out one of the trains candles before angrily
getting up to leave.
INT. SAMUEL GRAYS BEDROOM - SAME EVENING
Samuels curtains are partially drawn, and the lights are
off. The angst-ridden teen lies in bed, wearing a pair of
headphones that are not attached to anything.
A soft KNOCK at his door, followed by a second, causes
Samuel to sit up and take the headphones off.
SAMUEL GRAY
Who is it?
GRANDMA JAY
(o.s.)
Land shark.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
51.
Samuel smiles as Jay cracks up at her own joke.

SAMUEL GRAY
Come in.
Grandma Jay opens the door and walks in, gingerly stepping
over the mess. She sits down at the end of Samuels bed.
GRANDMA JAY
I was thinking maybe we oughta have
one of our talks aboutSAMUEL GRAY
Im not really in the mood for one
of our talks.
GRANDMA JAY
Oh, well, you dont have time for
your old Grandma? Hm?
SAMUEL GRAY
Times are a changin, Grandma.
Soon Ill be graduated, out of the
house, on the road... you might not
see me again.
GRANDMA JAY
Oh, now.
SAMUEL GRAY
Im just trying to make things
easier in the long term. Letting
go.
GRANDMA JAY
Since when do you think in the long
term?
SAMUEL GRAY
I dont know, maybe its time I
did.
Samuel moves closer to Jay, and sits by her side.
GRANDMA JAY
Thats all fine and dandy, but you
dont need to go making enemies of
your family in the meantime.
Especially this time of year.
SAMUEL GRAY
Come on. Tomorrow were going to
wake up and have a happy Christmas
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
52.
SAMUEL GRAY (contd)
filled with joyous songs and
roasted nuts. She wont even
remember this.
GRANDMA JAY
That may be so, but I will. So will
your father. That wasnt very nice.
SAMUEL GRAY
I guess Im just a little pissed
off.
GRANDMA JAY
Thats a surprise. I thought you
didnt much care about that
project?
Samuel lowers his head, shuffling his feet. No answer.

GRANDMA JAY (contd)
Now I say to myself, "Self, why is
my Samuel so upset over a joke when
it was his sworn enemy who got the
cows behind in the deal?"
SAMUEL GRAY
And what does your self tell you?
GRANDMA JAY
Tells me, "Well, Jay, its about
time for one of your patented
stories."
SAMUEL GRAY
Here we go.
Samuel lies back down on his pillow.
GRANDMA JAY
You just lay back and relax. Ill
tell you a story that happened many
years ago when I was just a little
girl.
Jay adjusts her glasses.
It was
when a
Shanks
French
GRANDMA JAY (contd)

during the Second Great War,
G.I. by the name of Armitage
took a leave to the tranquil
countryside.
CUT TO:
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
53.
SERIES OF SHOTS--DRAWN STORYBOOK ILLUSTRATIONS

1) THE STORY OPENS WITH A WIDE SHOT OF ROLLING GREEN GRASS
AND A ROUGH LOOKING AMERICAN SOLDIER WALKING THROUGH IT
GRANDMA JAY (contd)
(v.o.)
Armitage was a good boy. He was
loyal to his country and fought
bravely in the war for many months.
2) MEDIUM SHOT OF SOLDIERS HUNKERED DOWN, TAKING ENEMY FIRE
GRANDMA JAY (contd)
(v.o.)
But a lot of soldiers in the
company didnt much care for
Armitage and, well, he didnt much
like them either.
BACK TO SCENE:
GRANDMA JAY (contd)
He had a cold heart, wouldnt let
any warmth in. The war kind of did
that to people. So it might seem
odd that he chose to take his leave
in France.
CUT TO:
3) WIDE SHOT OF TYPICAL FRENCH VILLAGE, REPLETE WITH BAKERS
AND ARTISANS
GRANDMA JAY (contd)
(v.o.)
As the French were the one group of
people that Armitage disdained more
than any other.
SAMUEL GRAY
(v.o.)
Dont blame him.
BACK TO SCENE:
GRANDMA JAY
Armitages appetite was renowned
throughout the Armed Forces as
insatiable. The man, it was told,
could eat sixty fried eggs at one
time... followed by a main course.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
54.
SAMUEL GRAY
Sounds like a load of shit.
GRANDMA JAY
Either way. The boy could eat. So
when he met that old man...
CUT TO:
4) CLOSE UP OF AN OLD, ROTUND BUT CHEERY FRENCH CHEF
GRANDMA JAY (contd)
(v.o.)
It was a perfect match.
5) MEDIUM SHOT OF ARMITAGE STUFFING HIS FACE AND THE CHEF
BEAMING WITH PRIDE
GRANDMA JAY (contd)
(v.o.)
As it turned out, Chef BolognaSAMUEL GRAY
(v.o.)
Did you just say bologna?
GRANDMA JAY
(v.o.)
Yes, Bologna. He was the best chef
in France. Probably in all the
world!
6) MEDIUM WIDE SHOT OF CHEF WALKING ARMITAGE TO A FARMHOUSE
GRANDMA JAY (contd)
(v.o.)
But it wasnt until the Chef
introduced Armitage to the lovely
young woman...
7) CLOSE UP ON CLAIRE, A BEAUTIFUL AND PETITE FARMGIRL
GRANDMA JAY (contd)
(v.o.)
...named Claire, that the hardened
soldiers heart began to soften.
And he learned to love his
embattled life.
8) MEDIUM SHOT OF CLAIRE AND ARMITAGE AT A WELL
9) MEDIUM SHOT OF ARMITAGE MILKING A COW WITH CLAIRE
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
55.
10) WIDE SHOT OF THE CHEF PREPARING A FEAST FOR THEM ALL
GRANDMA JAY (contd)
(v.o.)
Naturally, as the story goes, they
were soon married. They lived
together. Armitage had grown,
accepted his past as just that, and
moved on. He was living the good
life. Until one day...
11) CLOSE UP OF US ARMY TELEGRAM, WHICH READS:
"LT. ARMITAGE SHANKS IS HEREBY ORDERED TO THE WESTERN
FRONT."
GRANDMA JAY (contd)
(v.o.)
...he received a post.
BACK TO SCENE:
GRANDMA JAY (contd)
Armitage traveled to the front
lines, where he fought bravely in
the war for two weeks. Just as
things were looking up...
CUT TO:
12) MEDIUM SHOT OF ARMITAGE IN A BUNKER, HOLDING HIS GUN,
LOOKING FIERCE. THE RAIN IS POURING DOWN
GRANDMA JAY (contd)
(v.o.)
Armitage Shanks was shot in the
head.
We hear the sound of a RIFLE SHOT.
13) MEDIUM WIDE SHOT OF THE RAINY BUNKER. A PAIR OF LEGS,
PRESUMABLY ARMITAGES, STICK OUT AWKWARDLY. HIS GUN RESTS IN
THE MUD.
SAMUEL GRAY
(v.o.)
Thats awful, Grandma.
BACK TO SCENE:
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
56.
GRANDMA JAY
It sure is, son. It was called a
tragedy in the news reports and
everyone agreed. And it would have
remained a mere tragedy except, as
it was, two days after Armitage
left his tranquil village...
CUT TO:
14) WIDE SHOT OF FRENCH VILLAGE
GRANDMA JAY (contd)
(v.o.)
...departed from Bologna...
15) CLOSE UP OF HAPPY CHEF
GRANDMA JAY (contd)
(v.o.)
...and Claire with all her baby
kitties...
16) CLOSE UP OF CLAIRE AND KITTENS
GRANDMA JAY (contd)
(v.o.)
...the Nazis carpet bombed the
entire area.
17) FRENCH COUNTRYSIDE ON FIRE, FARMS BURNING
GRANDMA JAY (contd)
(v.o.)
Bologna died while making a cake.
18) CHEF BOLOGNA LOOKING SHOCKED AS CAKE BATTER GOES FLYING
GRANDMA JAY (contd)
(v.o.)
Claire died while feeding her
lambs.
19) CLAIRE AND LAMBS LOOKING UPWARDS AS THE BOMBS FALL,
SHOCKED
BACK TO SCENE:
GRANDMA JAY (contd)
It was much more than a tragedy at
this point, Samuel. Its more of
what I like to call a vicious lick.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
57.
SAMUEL GRAY
A what?
GRANDMA JAY
Well, its like when life dont
leave you no options. Doesnt
matter what path you choose, youre
screwed. Armitage made the decision
to go back to warSAMUEL GRAY
And he died. And he would have been
killed if he had stayed with Claire
and Bologna? Jesus, thats
depressing!
Grandma Jay adjusts her glasses.
SAMUEL GRAY (contd)
I thought you were trying to cheer
me up!
GRANDMA JAY
Nope. Just wanted to make you
think.
Samuel rolls his eyes and plops back on the pillow.
GRANDMA JAY (contd)
Choose your paths wisely Samuel.
Always. But dont forget- sometimes
theyre already chosen for you.
She pats her grandsons leg and gets up.
GRANDMA JAY (contd)
And remember, the same thing
applies to everyone else. Good
night baby cheeks.
INT. SAMUEL GRAYS BEDROOM - SAME EVENING
The same night, Samuel Gray has another disturbing dream. He
tosses and turns in his bed.
CUT TO:
58.
INT. HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY -- DREAM

The high school hallway is pitch dark except for one
solitary beam of light that illuminates a sliver of floor
and lockers. Samuel walks along that slim path, silhouetted
by the beam of light. His ghostly figure brushes against the
row of lockers, causing all the padlocks to chatter for a
brief moment.
He reaches an open locker. Inside, a REVOLVER. Samuel
reaches inside, but the gun is forever out of reach.
END OF DREAM SEQUENCE
INT. SAMMY GRAYS MANSION - CHRISTMAS DAY
Sitting alone, Lucius Gray glares at his whiskey. He takes a
sip from the small glass, then slams the rest. His lip
curls.
Sammy walks into the living room, holding a paper. He looks
anxiously at Lucius.
SAMMY GRAY
Hello, father.
Lucius looks at his son, but doesnt respond.
SAMMY GRAY (contd)
Merry Christmas.
LUCIUS GRAY
Look who it is.
Sammy clears his throat and takes a few pensive steps
forward.
SAMMY GRAY
Father, I was wondering if you
wanted to read my Harvard essay. I
just finished it this morning.
LUCIUS GRAY
And the point of that would be,
what?
SAMMY GRAY
Im sending my final application in
Monday, I would have thoughtLucius sits up, livid.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
59.
LUCIUS GRAY
You thought what? Thought that I
would spend this wonderful holiday
reading your essay? Now why should
I do that, Sammy? I might as well
go bury my shoes in the backyard,
and hope they turn into a crock of
gold.
Lucius pours more whiskey.
LUCIUS GRAY (contd)
Better odds than you getting into
Harvard.
SAMMY GRAY
Father, thats not fair.
LUCIUS GRAY
Fair! Whats your definition of
fair, Sammy? Does it coincide with
my definition of fair? Is it fair
when your only child, an ungrateful
son of a bitch who youve spent
seventeen long years teaching,
molding, and preparing, turns
around and stabs you in the back?
Sammy has no words.
LUCIUS GRAY (contd)
Is that your definition of fair,
Mr. Sammy Gray?
SAMMY GRAY
I dont deserve this.
LUCIUS GRAY
No, you deserve the world damn it!
You deserve to be king of the hill.
And youll do anything to get
there, wont you?
Sammy throws his paper down.
SAMMY GRAY
I did what you told me to do.
LUCIUS GRAY
No, no. No! You did not do what I
told you to do. Do you have any
idea where I was this morning? Huh?
I was down visiting the Mayor and
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
60.
LUCIUS GRAY (contd)

his wife, speaking to them about
what you did. Hes a laughingstock
Sammy. Youve ruined him, cant you
see that? Are you blind?
SAMMY GRAY
Im not blind. I can see what Ive
done.
LUCIUS GRAY
Good. Then what are you going to do
about it?
Lucius drinks more whiskey. Sammy shrugs.
LUCIUS GRAY (contd)
Think in the long term, Sammy.
Think like me!
SAMMY GRAY
I am not you! I dont want to be
you! Damn. You.
Sammy fumes towards the front door. Lucius is surprised at
his sons forcefulness.
LUCIUS GRAY
Sammy, ISAMMY GRAY
Stop calling me Sammy.
Sammy reaches the door and opens it.
LUCIUS GRAY
But SammySAMMY GRAY
My name... is Samuel.
Sammy slams the door shut.
Grandma Jay, back in narrator mode, opens the oven door to
check on the bread. She pulls the pan out and waves her oven
mitt to waft the steam away.
GRANDMA JAY
Things are starting to heat up
around here. Just thought Id check
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
61.
GRANDMA JAY (contd)
in, make sure everyones alright.
As you can see, ol Sammy is about
to lose it. Hope he doesnt do
anything too drastic. But that
hullabaloo of a Senior Project got
everybody under the gun, running
around with their panties in a
knot. Enough to drive anybody
buggy.
INT. SAMUEL GRAYS LIVINGROOM- CHRISTMAS DAY

Samuel and his family are gathered in the living room,
opening presents. Dorian is playing with two PUPPETS,
Richard is playing with a CUP AND BALL, and Clarissa is
drawing with new CRAYONS. Grandma Jay is reading a NOVEL,
and Samuel is examining his gift: a MODEL OF A HUMAN SKULL.
Rory is also there, flipping through an old copy of RANGER
RICK MAGAZINE. Christmas MUSIC is playing in the background.
RORY
Man, this magazine doesnt have
anything dealing with the homeless.
Hows your creepy head?
SAMUEL GRAY
This thing is great. If I hit you
here, you go blind for like a few
minutes. Thanks, Grandma.
Grandma Jay WINKS at Samuel. Rory shakes his head.
RORY
Surprise, surprise. Ranger Rick is
severely lacking in its coverage of
the homeless. Even these animals
live in little houses and shit.
SAMUEL GRAY
Sorry, thats all the magazines in
the house. Dads kind of against
paper products.
Richard leans forward in his armchair.
RICHARD GRAY
Hemp, Samuel. Ill buy their
magazines when they start printing
them on hemp paper.
Samuel gives Rory a sly smile.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
62.
You know, your Senior Project
should be on hemp I say.
Dorian dances her puppets around, mocking Richard.

DORIAN GRAY
We all know what you have to say
Richard. Weve had to listen to it
for years.
SAMUEL GRAY
How you feeling today, Mom?
DORIAN GRAY
Oh wonderful. Your father gave me a
little stronger dose this batch.
That, along with a little egg nog,
did the trick.
Grandma and Samuel exchange a look of worry. Richard quickly
intervenes.
RICHARD GRAY
It wasnt much of an increase. You
know, the body and mind get
accustomed to medicine. You know
that.
RORY
Yeah, thats true. My dads up a
dose and a half on that muscle
cream you gave him, but hey the guy
swears by the stuff.
RICHARD GRAY
I didnt increase the price either.
Thats good business, Samuel.
SAMUEL GRAY
It is?
RORY
Come on Samuel. This is a waste of
time. Lets go on over to the park
and see how the other half lives.
SAMUEL GRAY
Jesus, dont we sound like a couple
of losers. Hey, Rory, want to come
over and play Magic? My Warriors
got three new levels, and he can
shoot fire, and knows all the lines
to Life of Brian.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
63.
CLARISSA
You used to love the Life of Brian.
SAMUEL GRAY
Will you stop drawing? Its not
natural. She never puts that stuff
down. See you punks later.
The SCREEN DOOR closes.
EXT. TUCSON PARK - SAMMY GRAY P.S.A.
Sammy Gray is holding a bag of trash in one hand, and a
shovel in the other. He walks up a small hill towards us,
talking into the camera.
SAMMY GRAY
Tucson loves its beautiful desert
landscape, the tall mountains
looming overhead, the clean air we
breathe, and the pure water we
drink. This is the world we live in
now. But, if you dont do something
about the litter, this...
INSERT SHOTS OF LANDFILL DUMPS, PILES OF TRASH
SAMMY GRAY (contd)
(v.o.)
...could be the Tucson of tomorrow.
BACK TO SCENE:
SAMMY GRAY (contd)
So take charge citizens!
Sammy picks up a piece of trash.
SAMMY GRAY (contd)
Lets keep Tucson clean. One piece
of trash, at a time.
A cheery SONG plays over Sammy.
Richard and Dorian are watching the PSA on TV. The cheery
SONG fades out and the ACTION NEWS THEME SONG bounces in.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
64.
JENNIFER SWANSON
(v.o.)
Welcome back, Tucson. On tomorrows
show, stay tuned for Gary.
CUT TO:
INT. SAMMY GRAYS MANSION - EVENING
Lucius and Miranda Gray are also watching TV, in their
cavernous living room. Miranda is drinking wine, while
Lucius enjoys a hot toddy.
JENNIFER SWANSON
(v.o.)
Hell be testing the effects of
hydrochloric acid in combination
with various household products.
CUT TO:
INT. MAYOR ROBBINS LIVING ROOM - EVENING
The Mayor and his wife gaze at the same news report. The
normally jovial Mayor looks disheveled, and unkept.
JENNIFER SWANSON
(v.o.)
Should be a blast. But as you all
know, today is Wednesday.
CUT TO:
INT. PRINCIPAL HANNIGANS HOME - EVENING
Principal Hannigan works on a knitting project while
watching the report, alone.
JENNIFER SWANSON
(v.o.)
That means we have the mischievous
Sammy Gray back with us for Gray
Matters.
CUT TO:
65.

Jennifer Swanson and Sammy Gray share the anchor desk. Sammy
is dressed to the nines and has never looked sharper.
JENNIFER SWANSON
Hello, Sammy.
SAMMY GRAY
Thank you, Jennifer. And hello
Tucson. This weeks edition of Gray
Matters has been a work in progress
for quite some time. Its been an
independent project and, unlike
most of my previous reports, has
garnished no aid from the City
CouncilCUT TO:
INT. MAYOR ROBBINS LIVING ROOM - EVENING
Mayor Robbins turns the volume on the TV up.
SAMMY GRAY
(v.o.)
-or Mayor Robbins. This will be the
first report in a six part seriesCUT BACK:
SAMMY GRAY
-concerning your health, Tucson. My
main focus in all six parts will be
concerning a fraudulent branch of
the medicinal community that is run
underground, illegally, and poses
serious risks to the people of this
cityINT. SAMUEL GRAYS LIVINGROOM- EVENING
Richard is watching the news report with a grave expression.
Dorian is knitting, oblivious. Samuel walks in to the room
eating an apple. He sees Sammy on TV.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
66.
SAMUEL GRAY
Christ, more of this?
SAMMY GRAY
(v.o.)
Chiefly, the victims of this unholy
and unethicalSAMUEL GRAY
Whats a matter with you guys?
SAMMY GRAY
-voodooism will be brought out and
given a chance to speak their
various woes, and out against the
man responsible.
A CHROMAKEY PHOTO OF A YOUNGER RICHARD GRAY POPS UP IN THE
CORNER OF THE SCREEN
Samuel is no longer eating the apple. He looks as dumbstruck
as Richard.
SAMMY GRAY
(v.o.)
Mr. Richard GrayRICHARD GRAY
Samuel, what is this all about?
SAMMY GRAY
(v.o.)
-no relation to yours trulySAMUEL GRAY
Dad, Im not sure.
SAMMY GRAY
(v.o.)
-is a well known witch doctor in
Tucson.
67.
INT. PRINCIPAL HANNIGANS HOME - EVENING
Hannigan drops her hands to the table in frustration.
SAMMY GRAY
(v.o.)
His array of clients seek him out
as anPRINCIPAL HANNIGAN
Sammy!
SAMMY GRAY
-alternative to the costly, yet
sound medicinesINT. LOCAL NEWS STUDIO
SAMMY GRAY
-that a real doctor would
prescribe. Are these cures
reliable? Most of the time, no. I
spoke with one local woman who ran
into many problems with an herbal
cream she received from Mr. Gray.
CUT TO:
INT. AGNIS MCCARTHYS LIVING ROOM
The news segment begins to play. Sammy is interviewing AGNIS
MCCARTHY, 68. A lover of cats, there are several roaming the
living room, MEOWING loudly. Agnis and Sammy each hold a cat
in their lap.
AGNIS MCCARTHY
Well it was about two years ago I
went to see this Mr. Gray. My
hemorrhoids, they were bothering
me. I hadnt had a sit in a long
time and so he gave me this creamthat Mr. Gray- and it made things
worse than ever! I broke out with
this rash all over my thighs, both
of em, you should have seen it.
CUT TO:
SINGLE SHOT: The rest of Sammys report plays out.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
68.
SAMMY GRAY
And thats just one of the many
disasters people have come to
experience at the knowledgeable
hand of Mr. Richard Gray. A man who
couldnt even finish his medical
training. (beat) Next week, Ill be
exploring in-depth some of the
actual creams and pills that Mr.
Gray gives out to his unfortunate
customers. Some of the ingredients
will shock you. Jennifer.
TWO SHOT of Jennifer Swanson and Sammy Gray

JENNIFER SWANSON
Wow, really makes you think. Thank
you SammyINT. SAMUEL GRAYS LIVINGROOM- EVENING
Richard is speechless and Samuel is fuming. He clutches his
stomach.
JENNIFER SWANSON
(v.o.)
-looking forward to next weeks
report. Now, back to Gary for an
update on that escaped gorilla.
With an exasperated GRUNT, Samuel grips Richards armchair
with one hand and his stomach with the other.
SAMUEL GRAY
Dad... my stomach.
Samuel falls to the floor. Richard jumps up and Dorian races
to the kitchen.
RICHARD GRAY
Hurry, Dorian.
SAMUEL P.O.V.-- LYING ON THE COUCH
Samuel looks up at Grandma Jay and Richard. Theyre blurry
but slowly come into focus.
GRANDMA JAY
There, there now. Were gonna fix
up everything. Richard, you got any
of them ulcer tablets?
BACK TO SCENE:
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
69.
RICHARD GRAY
Of course, Mom. Samuel, how long
has it been since youve taken your
medicine?
Samuel has a washcloth on his head, and some blood on the
corner of his mouth.
SAMUEL GRAY
Ive been slacking Dad. Im sorry.
Been a week or so.
RICHARD GRAY
You know better, son. I guess
youve been kind of pre-occupied.
You just need to relax.
SAMUEL GRAY
Im tired of relaxing. You always
say thatGRANDMA JAY
Sshh. We know you are. But your
stomachs hurtin for a reason.
Its trying to tell you to slow
down, now. You aint gotta be
nobody but yourself around here.
Samuel sighs and closes his eyes.
SAMUEL GRAY
Dad, about that report?
Richard shakes his head.
RICHARD GRAY
Ive never known anyone by the name
of Agnis McCarthy. Its all a lie.
One thats going to hurt us Im
afraid.
The telephone RINGS. Dorian answers.
DORIAN GRAY
(o.s.)
Hello? (beat) Who is this?? (beat)
What?? Dont call again you
pervert!
Dorian slams the phone down and starts to cry. Richard gets
up and goes to her. Grandma Jay stays with Samuel.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
70.
SAMUEL GRAY
Ive got to do something about
this. You know hes doing this to
get to me, right?
GRANDMA JAY
That might be true, but there are
things to do about this. Well
start by calling that Principal of
his.
Samuel chokes out a laugh.
SAMUEL GRAY
Hannigan? Hannigan loves Sammy. She
wouldnt stop him even if she
could. The school board wont expel
him. Theres only a few weeks left
in school so they cant touch his
grades, and Im sure his college
transcripts are already in the
mail. Goddamn him.
Samuel sits up, slowly. He puts on his shoes.
GRANDMA JAY
Samuel, where you going?
SAMUEL GRAY
Im going over to Rorys. Ill
probably stay the night. I... got
some venting to do.
Samuel gets up and leaves.
GRANDMA JAY
Oh, alright. Thats fine. Your
ulcer acts up, you take one of them
tablets with water, ya hear?
The door shuts without an answer.
GRANDMA JAY (contd)
Dont worry about us, well be
fine.
INT. SAMMY GRAYS BILLIARDS ROOM - EVENING
Sammy leans over his fathers pool table with high speed
felt. The balls are scattered around, but hes not really
playing. Lucius walks in with a whiskey sour, looking proud.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
71.
LUCIUS GRAY
Sammy, my boy! Shooting some of the
eight ball?
Sammy shuffles the cue ball around with his hand, turning
his back on Lucius.
LUCIUS GRAY (contd)
You did fine tonight, son.
SAMMY GRAY
Why do I feel like shit then?
LUCIUS GRAY
No one said being a leader was
easy.
Lucius picks up a stick and examines the tip. He rubs some
chalk on it.
LUCIUS GRAY (contd)
Sammy, every great man stands on
the shoulders of his inferior. And
no one gets to the top without
breaking a few bones. I think
youre finally beginning to realize
that.
SAMMY GRAY
No, I dont believe that. I cant
believe that. Ive always stood up
for the downtrodden. Done the right
thing. Isnt that enough?
LUCIUS GRAY
Theres never enough. You give, and
give, then give some more. And
every now and again, you get the
opportunity take some back. Theres
nothing wrong with that.
Lucius lines up a shot.
LUCIUS GRAY (contd)
Youre not having doubts in regards
to your report, are you?
Sammy looks at his father, doubt written all over his face.
Lucius points his finger at Sammy.
LUCIUS GRAY (contd)
You will finish the series, and get
back in good graces with everyone
youve already hurt.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
72.
Lucius aims for the corner pocket.

LUCIUS GRAY (contd)
That family isnt innocent. Freaks
that need to be called out is all.
He hits the cue ball down the length of the table, knocking
the ONE ball in the corner pocket.
INT. RORYS BEDROOM- NIGHT
Rory is sitting on his crappy couch, with a tray full of
cheap marijuana on his lap. He is breaking the weed up while
Samuel paces the room.
RORY
So, howd your pops take it?
SAMUEL GRAY
As expected. Buddhist to the end.
You know, pissed off on the
inside/calm as a butterfly on the
outside.
RORY
Hes not going to do anything about
it? That report was a bold faced
lie, man. I mean, isnt that
illegal?
SAMUEL GRAY
Rory, what my Dad does is
technically illegal under state
law. The cops dont care. Hell,
half of them are his patients. He
just doesnt keep good enough
records. I doubt he could even
prove that he didnt have a patient
named Agnis McCarthy. God, where
did that little bastard dig up that
old crow from anyway?
RORY
Agnis? Shes that crazy old cat
lady that lives down on Tanque
Verde, near the Swap Meet. Remember
that time we saw her catching
lizards in the park? Sammy probably
just offered her a lifetime supply
of Cat Chow.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
73.
SAMUEL GRAY
Sounds like one of Dads patients
alright.
The friends take a moment to smile. Samuel wipes his eyes.
SAMUEL GRAY (contd)
I dont know. I guess Im just
going to have a little talk with
our dear friend Sammy. Its about
time we straightened some things
out.
RORY
Now when you say "talk"?
SAMUEL GRAY
I mean, talk. Im not going to
invite the slug over for tea or
anything, but I think I can
convince him to take his report off
the air.
RORY
Man, you should just kick his ass.
Invite him down to Agnis lizard
park for one of your talks, and
jump him with a tire iron! Dude, I
got one in the trunk. We can do it
right now!
Samuel lightens up at the suggestion.
SAMUEL GRAY
Yeah that would be real smart.
Samuel makes an imaginary HEADLINE in the air with his
hands.
SAMUEL GRAY (contd)
"Dead Boy Found in Park" No, wait,
wait. "Beloved Boy Found Dead in
Park." And who would have the most
to gain from his demise? I have the
most to lose from his continued
existence- thats probably motive
enough.
Samuel walks to the window, and looks through the blinds.
SAMUEL GRAY (contd)
Rory?
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
74.
RORY
Hm, yes?
SAMUEL GRAY
You still talk to that kid Ricki?
RORY
Little Dickie Rickie? Not since he
joined that Mexican gang. Heard he
shot up some 7-11 down on 43rd.
Why?
SAMUEL GRAY
Just wondering.
Samuel turns around from the blinds.

SAMUEL GRAY (contd)
I need a gun.
RORY
What? What do you need a gun for?
Like, a real gun?
SAMUEL GRAY
Yeah a real gun. A hand gun. Can
you get one? Soon.
Samuel begins to walk from the room. Rory jumps up, spilling
weed everywhere.
RORY
Whoa whoa whoa. Whatever youre
thinking about doing, man, keep
thinking about it and lose the
doing.
Samuel pauses at the door.
RORY
Especially if Sammy Gray is somehow
involved.
SAMUEL GRAY
Can you get me a gun or not,
greaser?
Rory considers the prospect.
RORY
Yeah, uh, maybe. Probably. I dont
know! Will you tell me what for
first?
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
75.
SAMUEL GRAY
I dont need any bullets though.
RORY
Oh youre just going to throw it at
Sammy? Give him a headache?
SAMUEL GRAY
No dumbass, Im just going to scare
him a little bit.
Samuel rubs his stomach.
SAMUEL GRAY (contd)
I gotta go. Get it by Wednesday.
Samuel leaves the room. Rory throws his hands in the air.
RORY
Oh, fine. Fine! You know, at least
youre giving me plenty of time!
Ill just call the friggin Stolen
Gun Warehouse! No problem.
The ACTION NEWS theme song plays over Jennifer Swanson, as
the anchorwoman prepares her notes. The moment the song
ends, Jennifer is smiling at the camera.
JENNIFER SWANSON
Welcome back, Tucson. Im pretty
excited about our next segment,
Gray Does Tucson. Tonight, Sammy
Gray will be unveiling part two of
his already critically hailed
report on the fraud of holistic
medicine. Welcome, Sammy.
The show jumps to a two shot of Jennifer and Sammy, who is
not looking in top form. He is slumped forward, his tie
loose and hair askew. Sammy looks sleep deprived.
SAMMY GRAY
Thank you Jennimer-er, Jennifer.
Um. Tonight, folks, I will be
demonstrating some of the products
used in this illegal practive-er,
practice. Practice.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
76.
JENNIFER SWANSON
Are you all right, Sammy?
SAMMY GRAY
Yes, thank you. May we continue?
JENNIFER SWANSON
Of course, sorry.
SAMMY GRAY
Essentially, the research Ive
done... both in...
Sammy trails off. Jennifer looks concerned.
JENNIFER SWANSON
Do you need some help, Sammy?
SAMMY GRAY
Do you ever feel inadequate?
JENNIFER SWANSON
Ooooh-kkaayyy, Sammy. Thats not on
the teleprompter.
Sammy whips his glasses off in frustration.
Are you sure nothings wrong?
SAMMY GRAY
Jesus will you stop asking me that?
Why wouldnt I be all right, you
totally useless human being.
Jennifer Swanson looks shocked.
JENNIFER SWANSON
Why would you say something like
that?
SAMMY GRAY
Because, lets see. Youre nothing.
Youre insignificant. What exactly
is it that you do, anyway?
JENNIFER SWANSON
What do you mean? I report the
news.
SAMMY GRAY
Ooh, you report the news! So you
neither create the news, nor do you
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
77.
SAMMY GRAY (contd)

react to the news. You "report" the
news. My dear lady, you are the
Queen of Ineptitude!
Now Jennifer looks pissed.
JENNIFER SWANSON
Well youre a son of a bitch!
The CAMERAMAN peeks out from his behind his viewfinder,
smiling.
SAMMY GRAY
Youre a plastic, phony of a
person! Youre so translucent you
dont even cast a shadow, and
everytime you open that annoying
mouth of yours I want to kick your
fucking teeth inCUT TO:
INSERT-- ACTION NEWS "TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES" GRAPHIC
FADE TO:
SERIES OF SHOTS
1) PRINCIPAL HANNIGAN ENTERS HER OFFICE, READING THROUGH A
DOCUMENT. A NOTE IS TAPED TO HER TELEPHONE
2) SAMMY GRAY WALKS ALONE DOWN THE SCHOOL HALLWAY, HEAD DOWN
3) PRINICPAL HANNIGAN READS THE NOTE TAPED TO THE PHONE:
"IM SICK OF SLIDING. STAY TUNED. - SAMUEL GRAY"
4) SAMMY GRAY CONTINUES DOWN THE SCHOOL HALLWAY. HE REACHES
HIS LOCKER AND OPENS IT. INSIDE IS ANOTHER NOTE. SAMMY PULLS
IT OFF AND READS: "TONIGHT, 10PM BUD. YOU KNOW WHERE. JUST
TO TALK"
Samuel sits on Rorys couch, while Rory sits on the floor.
The boys are smoking cigarettes. The lighting is low.
SAMUEL GRAY
The dream last night was the worst
one yet, man.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
78.
RORY
What do you mean exactly?
CUT TO:
INT. SAMUEL GRAYS BEDROOM - PREVIOUS NIGHT
Samuel is tossing and turning in his bed.
SAMUEL GRAY
(v.o.)
All the other dreams were so
disconnected. So out of it. But
this one was real. Really real.
CUT TO:
EXT. DARK PATH -- DREAM
In his dream, Samuel is running from something. A light is
chasing him from behind.
SAMUEL GRAY
(v.o.)
Something was chasing me. Something
or someone.
CUT BACK:
SAMUEL GRAY
It was probably from watching that
movie.
RORY
Evil Dead 2? What, were you Ash?
Man. We need to invest in some
better bud.
SAMUEL GRAY
Yeah, except Ash outruns the Evil
Dead and gets back to the cabin. I
was caught in my dream.
CUT TO:
79.
EXT. DARK PATH -- DREAM

Samuel trips and falls hard. His face smacks the road.
Gravel sticks in his ear. Now on the ground, he looks
behind.
SAMUEL GRAY
(v.o.)
Whatever was chasing me finally
caught up.
CUT BACK:
RORY
Why do you keep calling it a dream?
Sounds like a nightmare to me.
SAMUEL GRAY
Because I wasnt really scared. I
mean, I was running but not really
out of fear. My legs wouldnt stop
until I was tripped up.
Rory takes a drag from his cigarette.
RORY
Man, your Grandma is good at this
sort of thing. Not me. I say we
smoked too much ditch weed, you
overanalyzed an admittedly awesome
film and you had a run-in on, I
dont know, some parallel plane or
whatever.
SAMUEL GRAY
I asked you because my Grandma has
never seen that movie. Figured she
would be out of her element.
Besides, she doesnt like to feel
stupid.
RORY
Just be careful out there tomorrow,
OK? Come back to me- what was his
name?- Armitage. Oh, Armitage
Shanks. Dont stop believing!
The boys chuckle and continue their smoking session.
CUT TO:
80.

We are back at the beginning. Sammy and Samuel FACE OFF.
Sammys RED POCKETKNIFE is drawn, pointed at Samuel, who
returns the favor with his .38 SPECIAL. Samuel has already
HIT Sammy on the head. The UNKNOWN MAN continues to watch
from behind his CART.
SAMMY GRAY
You, Samuel, were never meant to
be. Its high time we correct that
error.
ELECTRIC CRACKLE from the high tension wires.
An INTENSE BURST OF ELECTRICITY alters reality. The LIVE
ACTION dissolves to a WATERCOLOR version of events, like a
story book.
1) SAMMY AND SAMUEL SQUARE OFF. SAMUEL IS POINTING THE GUN
AT SAMMY. A TEXT BUBBLE NEAR SAMUELS HEAD READS: "YOU DONT
WANT TO DO THIS."
2) THE UNKNOWN MAN, STILL HIDING BEHIND HIS SHOPPING CART,
HAS A CLEAR VIEW OF THE ACTION. HE HEARS SAMUEL COCK THE
GUN.
3) SAMMY, LOOKING DEFIANT. HE SAYS: "I KNOW YOU WONT SHOOT
ME."
4) SAMMY POINTS THE RED POCKETKNIFE, WITH THE WORD "GRAY"
PRINTED ON THE SIDE, BACK AT SAMUEL.
5) SAMUEL SMILES. HE SAYS: "NICE KNIFE."
6) SAMMYS FACE IS GRIM. HE SAYS: "ALL IN THE NAME OF SELF
DEFENSE."
7) WITH AN AGONIZED YELP, SAMMY TURNS THE KNIFE ON TO HIS
OWN ARM. BLOOD DRIPS TO THE GROUND.
8) SAMMY GLARES AT SAMUEL THROUGH TEARS. HE SAYS: "NOW ITS
A CRIME SCENE."
9) SAMUEL LOOKS SHOCKED. HE SAYS: "YOURE SETTING ME UP?"
10) SAMMY POINTS THE BLOODY KNIFE AT SAMUEL. HE SAYS: "I
WANT YOU OUT OF MY TOWN!"
11) SAMMY LUNGES AT SAMUEL WITH THE KNIFE.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
81.
12) SAMUEL PULLS THE TRIGGER. THE GUN FIRES, HITTING SAMMY
STRAIGHT IN THE CHEST.
13) THE UNKNOWN MAN SLOWLY DISAPPEARS INTO THE NIGHT.
13) SAMMY LIES ON THE GROUND, DEAD. SAMUEL IS ON HIS KNEES,
HOLDING HIS HEAD. TO HIMSELF: "NO, NO... I SAID NO BULLETS."
CUT TO:
TITLE CARD: TWO DAYS LATER
Richard Gray sits in his armchair, watching the news. Samuel
walks in from outside. He notices Richard too late.
SAMUEL GRAY
Hey...
Samuel quickly spins around to leave.
RICHARD GRAY
Your mother is very sick.
SAMUEL GRAY
Jesus! Lay off it. Dont give me a
guilt trip for coming home late.
RICHARD GRAY
Have you seen the news? Have you
been living in a cave? Theres some
nut with a gun, running around
killing.
Samuel comes back into the living room.
SAMUEL GRAY
What?
RICHARD GRAY
They found a bullet shell down at
the Electric Park.
SAMUEL GRAY
Proves nothing.
RICHARD GRAY
Theres a veritable lake of blood!
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
82.
SAMUEL GRAY
Somebody shot a squirrel.
RICHARD GRAY
It was human.
Samuel throws his arms in the air.

SAMUEL GRAY
God! Just because some guy cant
take care of himself, wandering
around the high tension wireswhich, reports indicate, isnt the
safest place in the world-means I
cant finish watching a mov...
Samuel pauses mid-lie. He looks at his Father, and takes a
different route.
SAMUEL GRAY (contd)
I was smoking pot at Rorys. I fell
asleep. Im sorry.
RICHARD GRAY
Huh?
SAMUEL GRAY
Yeah, its stupid and I apologize.
OK?
RICHARD GRAY
So you were at Rorys all night? Oh
Samuel, dont use drugs. I suppose
you werent in any trouble but...
dont do drugs. Theyre bad for
your brain.
Richard sits back, proud of his parenting skills.
SAMUEL GRAY
Youre not mad?
RICHARD GRAY
Were very worried. With Sammy
missing, and this report... please
promise me youll be careful.
SAMUEL GRAY
Dad, Im most likely the one person
in Tucson not afraid of the
Electric Park Killer.
Richard raises his eyebrows. Samuel sighs.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
83.
SAMUEL GRAY (contd)

I promise Ill be careful.
Richard nods and returns to watching the news.
SAMUEL GRAY (contd)
There is this trip next week, to
Camp Kill-a-Teen. You know, the
abandoned one by Madera Canyon.
Cool?
Richard chuckles.
RICHARD GRAY
Go set the table.
Samuel turns to leave.
SAMUEL GRAY
Dad, I am sorry that Sammy is
missing. You believe that, right?
RICHARD GRAY
Of course, Samuel. I know that you
two had your share of differencesWhile Richard talks, Samuel looks at the TV news for the
first time. His face drops at what he sees.
CUT TO:
CU TV SCREEN--LOCAL NEWS FIELD REPORT
Richard has MUTED the volume, but Action News correspondent
GARY LARUE is out at a park interviewing a familiar looking
homeless person. The UNKNOWN MAN is giving an impassioned
interview. Although Samuel cant hear what hes saying, the
implications are obvious.
(v.o.)
-but its times like these, they
seem kind of inconsequential, huh?
BACK TO SCENE
Samuels face has gone white. He doesnt respond to Richard.
Samuel? Buddy? You all right?
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
84.
SAMUEL GRAY
Huh, yeah. Stupid arguments. Real
meaningless. I regret ever having
them.
CUT TO:
CU TV SCREEN--LOCAL NEWS FIELD REPORT
Gary is still talking with the UNKNOWN MAN, who is
illustrating his story with items from his shopping cart. He
smashes two oranges together, and then throws one to the
ground.
RICHARD GRAY
(v.o.)
Those feelings are understandable.
BACK TO SCENE
Right now, you should concentrate
on graduation. Now, hows your
project coming? Have you seen the
Principal?
Samuel shakes his head.
SAMUEL GRAY
Yeah, were meeting tomorrow. I
just didnt want to slide anymore.
RICHARD GRAY
Samuel... are you allSAMUEL GRAY
Dad.
RICHARD GRAY
Hmm? Yeah?
SAMUEL GRAY
Nevermind. I gotta go to Rorys.
As Samuel exits, Richard leans back in his armchair and
sighs.
85.
INT. RORYS BEDROOM

Rory is sitting on the couch as Samuel anxiously paces the
room, smoking.
RORY
So essentially what we have here is
a potential meltdown?
Samuel tries to interject. Rory holds up his hand.
RORY (contd)
Tit tat, I wasnt finished. Now,
did you hear what the bum was
saying?
SAMUEL GRAY
Thats what Im trying to tell you.
My Dad was right there. Its not
like I could let on that I knew
anything. Like I knew this freaking
bum on TV!
RORY
Naturally. Therefore, you have
nothing to worry about.
Samuel pauses and looks angrily at Rory.
RORY
Listen, if you want me to play the
Wise Old Man, let me talk.
Samuel continues pacing.
RORY
Think about it for a minute, man.
If that bum actually saw anything
that went on in the park, which I
find highly unlikely considering
that just about all the bums in
town were at Reed Park for the Hot
Dog-a-Thon. And if he decided to
say anything to the newsSamuel lets out an audible groan.
RORY (contd)
Which, again, I consider highly
unlikely. Considering the fact they
had that report last year about how
homeless men find sport in
urinating on their feet. I mean,
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
86.
RORY (contd)
even if- you know, Id like to
think- I mean...
SAMUEL GRAY
Can you go back to being the Wise
Old Man please?
RORY
Samuel, listen. What happened
between you and Sammy, theres only
three people who know about it. One
of them is dead, and the other one
is your best friend. Im one
hundred percent positive that the
guy you yelled at in the park is
not the same guy on the news. He
ran far away, probably went to
another park, ate some hot dogs,
and fell asleep in his own
excrement.
Rory looks satisfied.

SAMUEL GRAY
Maybe youre right.
Samuel sits on the couch and grabs his own hair.
SAMUEL GRAY (contd)
I just cant believe it!
Rory reaches over and touches his shoulder.
RORY
Samuel, dude. Its over. It was an
accident. Kind of.
SAMUEL GRAY
Theres no "kind of" about it. Pure
and simple: I didnt mean to do it!
RORY
Well, look. If he had seen anything
or said anything, the cops would
have sacked your house hours ago.
Samuel groans again. Rory changes the subject.
RORY (contd)
Hey, by the way. You ready for
Hannigan?
Samuel looks up at Rory and exhales.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
87.
SAMUEL GRAY
Yeah, my proposals pretty good I
guess.
RORY
Tell you what. Knock her socks off
tomorrow, be sure to mention my
name in there somewhere, and well
celebrate the evening with a
twelver of Americas finest.
SAMUEL GRAY
You know whats bothering me most
about this whole thing?
Rory chokes a bit on his cigarette smoke.
RORY
What, besides the actual act of
killing somebody?
Samuel looks horrified at his friend. Rorys smile drops.
SAMUEL GRAY
For some reason, there was a line
of rope in my back pack that
morning. I have no idea why.
Grandma Jay covers her freshly baked bread with a towel, and
slowly wipes down the counter top.
GRANDMA JAY
Samuel wasnt the only one confused
about the whole situation. Heck, it
was the topic of conversation in
every diner, at every meal in every
house for weeks. Where did Sammy
go? Whatever happened to Sammy?
Golly, it was a great big mess. But
my Samuel did just fine. In fact,
hed never done better. As far as
Sammy goes, well, the town slowly
turned from shock to the sad weight
of reality. Confusing times for
many folks, oh yes it was. But you
know, in the most mind boggling
times can come a certain clarity.
An unsuspecting vision of the way
things are, and the way things
should have always been, and the
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
88.
GRANDMA JAY (contd)

past that needed correcting. I
guess thats what this whole story
has been about, now isnt it?
MONTAGE--THE RISE OF SAMUEL GRAY
--MIRANDA GRAY IS PACKING UP HER KITCHEN. LUCIUS WALKS IN
WITH A STACK OF BOOKS. HE PUTS THEM ON THE COUNTER TOP.
TAKING A DEEP BREATH, HE KNOCKS THEM TO THE GROUND WITH A
SWING OF HIS FIST
--ON THE LOCAL NEWS, GARY LARUE IS REPORTING. A CHROMAKEY
GRAPHIC READS: "SAMMY GRAY MISSING: A SPECIAL REPORT"
--SAMUEL AND RICHARD SIT AT THE DINING ROOM TABLE, POURING
OVER CHARTS, DATA, AND OTHER INFORMATION. SAMUEL IS MAKING
AN IMPASSIONED SPEECH
--SAMUEL IS NOW IN HANNIGANS OFFICE, WITH THE SAME EXCITED
LOOK ON HIS FACE. HE IS PITCHING HIS IDEA TO THE PRINCIPAL,
WHO LOOKS MIGHTILY IMPRESSED
--ON THE LOCAL NEWS, GARY SITS AT THE ANCHOR DESK. THE
GRAPHIC OVERLAY NOW READS: "SAMMY GRAY: PROBABLY DEAD"
--SAMUEL IS ASLEEP AT THE DINING ROOM TABLE. BOOKS AND
PAPERS SURROUND HIM. MIRANDA WALKS IN AND GENTLY COVERS HIM
WITH A BLANKET, INCLUDING HIS HEAD. SHE KISSES THE BLANKET
END MONTAGE
Lucius Gray sits at the base of a high tension electric
tower. His head is in his lap, and he has never seemed so
small. To his right, a makeshift CROSS with flowers marks
the spot where Sammys blood was found.
The UNKNOWN MAN struggles to push his cart through the sand.
He stops, and notices Lucius. Leaving his cart, he
approaches the businessman.
UNKNOWN MAN
Mister.
Lucius doesnt look up. The UNKNOWN MAN taps Lucius
shoulder.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
89.
UNKNOWN MAN
Hey!
Lucius jumps up, nearly falling backwards. He waves his
hands in the air.
LUCIUS GRAY
What are you doing here?
UNKNOWN MAN
I live here! But you apparently do
not.
LUCIUS GRAY
What do you want, a hand out? Some
money for booze or whatever? Is
that what youre after?
UNKNOWN MAN
Thatd be a nice start.
Lucius regains his footing.
LUCIUS GRAY
Well, forget it. You little
miscreant. Fucking worm. Do you
know who I am?
The UNKNOWN MAN shakes his head.
Lucius points to the small cross that reads: SAMMY GRAY
LUCIUS GRAY (contd)
Do you know who that is?
The UNKNOWN MAN studies the cross, then looks at Lucius. The
hight tension electric wires CRACKLE with intensity.
UNKNOWN MAN
Yeah. I knew that kid.
Lucius holds his head up high.
UNKNOWN MAN (contd)
Quite a little shit if I recall.
The UNKNOWN MAN lifts his grimy shirt. Across his ribcage,
he shows off a deep purple bruise.
UNKNOWN MAN (contd)
I got this from your, I assume,
son. No, let me rephrase. A pig did
this to me. A pig hired by your
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
90.
UNKNOWN MAN (contd)

little shit son. Beat me for not
wanting to swim in a goddamn pool
on television.
Lucius looks confused.
UNKNOWN MAN (contd)
You bet I laughed the night that
chicken head was put in his place.
And you bet I laugh now. HA!
Lucius raises his hands. His eyes water.
LUCIUS GRAY
You killed my son.
The UNKNOWN MAN chuckles.
UNKNOWN MAN
Now you really got me laughing. No,
I wish I had killed that kid.
The homeless man reaches into pocket and pulls out Sammys
red knife. He flicks it open, displaying it for Lucius.
UNKNOWN MAN (contd)
Maybe Ill just kill you instead.
Lucius recognizes the knife. He looks around for help, but
hes all alone.
LUCIUS GRAY
Thats my knife. You did kill him,
you son of a bitch. POLICE!
Lucius yells into the night. No one responds.
UNKNOWN MAN
Shut up. SHUT UP! Nobodys coming!
This was just for demonstration
purposes. Namely, to tell you, that
no I did not kill your pecker
headed little son. But I do know
who did.
Lucius furrows his brow.
UNKNOWN MAN (contd)
And theres no price worth the
aggravation that this little nugget
of truth is going to cause you. So
you can take your money and go back
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
91.
UNKNOWN MAN (contd)

where you came from. Because you
aint welcome here.
The UNKNOWN MAN turns to leave. Lucius weeps, and falls to
his knees in front of Sammys cross.
GRANDMA JAY
(v.o.)
Luck. The boy certainly did have
that on his side, I have no doubt
about that now. Then again, theres
never been anything wrong with a
little bit of luck.
FADE TO:
INT. SAMUEL GRAYS HOUSE
Grandma Jay carries her fresh loaf of bread from the kitchen
to the living room, which is bustling with activity. Dorian
and Richard sit in their armchairs. Principal Hannigan and
Rory are sitting together on the couch, chatting. Clarissa
continues to draw.
RORY
See I always knew he had it in himDORIAN GRAY
Oh hes going to look so niceRICHARD GRAY
(to Grandma)
Oh hurry Mom, come on.
DORIAN GRAY
Bread looks great!
RICHARD GRAY
Looks really nice.
Grandma Jay places the bread down for all to enjoy. She then
takes a seat on the couch next to Hannigan.
RORY
-take it one step at a time, you
know.
Richard glances at his watch.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
92.
RICHARD GRAY
Hush everybody, its almost time.
The group sit up and look at the TV.

CUT TO:
CU TELEVISION SCREEN--OLD RANDY JENKINS COMMERCIAL
Images of Chevy and Nissan cars fly by as Old Randy Jenkins
comes trotting out on his hobby horse. He pulls the toy
horses reigns.
RANDY JENKINS
Whoa there! Oh, hey folks, Old
Randy Jenkins down here at Old
Randy Jenkins Chevrolet and Nissan.
Were continuing Mays Hot Deals on
Wheels Month and your response has
been fantastic! And to show you how
fantastic, I have that young buck
upstart Samuel Gray. Hes the real
deal when it comes to kids, but let
me tell ya- Im the Real Deal when
it comes to cars! And to show you
how real, were continuing Hot
Deals on Wheels month with this
special promotion. Samuel!
The camera pans over to Samuel, looking sharp in a coat and
tie. His hair is combed over neatly, and he eerily resembles
Sammy. A homeless MAN weve never seen stands next to him,
wearing a bright orange safety vest.
SAMUEL GRAY
Thats right, Randy! My name is
Samuel Gray and Im proud to
announce that Hot Deals on Wheels
month of May is sponsoring
Operation Hand Out- a program I
conceived in partnership with the
City Council. It aims to give
homeless citizens a chance to earn
money by selling newspapersSamuel turns to his homeless MAN, who is too busy trying to
light a wet cigarette to notice whats going on. Still
smiling, Samuel turns back to the camera.
BACK TO SCENE
Grandma Jay sits on the couch, beaming with pride. Her eyes
twinkle.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
93.
GRANDMA JAY
(v.o.)
Good boy. Good boy. Always been a
good boy.
CUT TO:
FLASHBACK
--A YOUNGER JAY SITS AT A TABLE, READING TAROT CARDS BY
CANDLE LIGHT. A PHOTO OF BABY SAMUEL IS PROPPED UP. AS SHE
FLIPS EACH CARD, WE SEE A BRIEF GLIMPSE FROM SAMUELS
VARIOUS DREAMS: WALKING THROUGH THE NEWS STATION, REACHING
FOR A GUN IN THE LOCKER
BACK TO SCENE
Grandma Jay continues to watch Samuel.
GRANDMA JAY (contd)
(v.o.)
It was all worth it, as it usually
is in this world.
CUT TO:
FLASHBACK
--SAMUEL IS SLEEPING IN HIS BED. HIS BACK PACK HANGS OVER
THE END. AN ELDERLY, FEMALE HAND REACHES FROM OFF SCREEN
INTO THE BACK PACK AND PULLS OUT A GUN
BACK TO SCENE
SAMUEL GRAY
Our aim is to advance the fight for
homeless aid in this city.
CUT TO:
FLASHBACK
--GRANDMA JAY WALKS INTO THE LAUNDRY ROOM. AN OLD
CLOTHESLINE RESTS ON THE WASHER. LOOKING AROUND BEFOREHAND,
JAY STUFFS THE ROPE INTO SAMUELS BACK PACK
BACK TO SCENE
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
94.
SAMUEL GRAY (contd)

With men and women earning their
own money, we can truly alter the
lives and futures of Tucsons less
fortunate citizens.
CUT TO:
FLASHBACK
--GRANDMA JAY OPENS THE GUNS CYLINDER AND SLIDES A BULLET
INTO ONE OF THE CHAMBERS
GRANDMA JAY
(v.o.)
Folks, take care whereever youre
headed after this. And if you
remember anything, remember this
simple truth.
BACK TO SCENE
Grandma Jays face now fills the frame. She watches Samuels
report, thinking.
GRANDMA JAY (contd)
(v.o.)
Always choose your paths wisely,
but never forgetCUT TO:
Samuel Gray smiles into the camera.
SAMUEL GRAY
So please, be generous with your
pledges.
GRANDMA JAY
(v.o.)
-you just can never tell when
theyve already been chosen for
you.
FADE TO BLACK
THE END

&quot;A Vicious Lick&quot; (2000)

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A Vicious Lick

EXT. HIGH TENSION ELECTRIC WIRES - NIGHT

INT. SAMUEL GRAYS KITCHEN - DAY

GRANDMA JAY (contd)

MONTAGE--THE DIVIDE GROWS WIDER

PAINTINGS AND RANDOM MOVIE POSTERS TACKED ON HIS WALL. HE

TWO SHOT: The beautiful, if not totally qualified, news

Clarissa rolls her eyes at that misstatement.

to find his teenage son

RICHARD GRAY (contd)

RICHARD GRAY (contd)

SAMUEL GRAY (contd)

Grandma Jay ignores that.

Quite different from Samuel Grays modest abode, this gaudy

Lucius sips his champagne before responding.

Lucius slowly chews his food.

Rory and Samuel feign hurt feelings at this remark. They

Rory starts to climb down the ladder.

Rory chuckles at the thought.

Rory and Samuel dont move.

Sammys shoulders slump a bit. He doesnt look pleased at

PRINCIPAL HANNIGAN (contd)

INT. PRINCIPAL HANNIGANS OFFICE - DAY

INT. PRINCIPAL HANNIGANS OFFICE

Shot of a COUNCILMAN looking extremely "spaced out."

SAMMY GRAY (contd)

DEPUTY MAYOR GRATTAN

Grandma Jay stops wiping the counter.

An UNKNOWN MAN with a SHOPPING CART decides hes had enough.

INT. LOCAL NEWS STUDIO

INT. TUCSON OASIS INDOOR POOL

INT. LOCAL NEWS STUDIO

INT. TUCSON OASIS INDOOR POOL

Dorian begins to weep. Richard looks at Samuel, and shakes

PRINCIPAL HANNIGAN (contd)

The boys turn back towards Hannigan, who is visibly

Samuel smiles as Jay cracks up at her own joke.

Samuel lowers his head, shuffling his feet. No answer.

GRANDMA JAY (contd)

SERIES OF SHOTS--DRAWN STORYBOOK ILLUSTRATIONS

INT. HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY -- DREAM

LUCIUS GRAY (contd)

INT. SAMUEL GRAYS LIVINGROOM- CHRISTMAS DAY

Dorian dances her puppets around, mocking Richard.

INT. LOCAL NEWS STUDIO

TWO SHOT of Jennifer Swanson and Sammy Gray

Lucius aims for the corner pocket.

Samuel turns around from the blinds.

SAMMY GRAY (contd)

EXT. DARK PATH -- DREAM

EXT. HIGH TENSION ELECTRIC WIRES - NIGHT

Samuel throws his arms in the air.

SAMUEL GRAY (contd)

INT. RORYS BEDROOM

Rory looks satisfied.

GRANDMA JAY (contd)

UNKNOWN MAN (contd)

UNKNOWN MAN (contd)

The group sit up and look at the TV.

SAMUEL GRAY (contd)

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