Midsummer Night's Sex Comedy Script - Transcript From The Screenplay and - or Woody Allen Movie

9/18/2016
MidsummerNight'sSexComedyScripttranscriptfromthescreenplayand/orWoodyAllenmovie
MidsummerNight'sSexComedyScriptDialogue
Transcript
Voila!Finally,theMidsummerNight'sSexComedyscriptishereforallyouquotesspoutingfansofthe
WoodyAllenmovie.Thisscriptisatranscriptthatwaspainstakinglytranscribedusingthescreenplayand/or
viewingsofMidsummerNight'sSexComedy.Iknow,Iknow,IstillneedtogetthecastnamesinthereandI'll
beeternallytweakingit,soifyouhaveanycorrections,feelfreetodropmealine.Youwon'thurtmyfeelings.
Honest.
SwingonbacktoDrew'sScriptORamaafterwardsformorefreemoviescripts!
MidsummerNight'sSexComedyScript
(Mendelssohn's"WeddingMarch")
Ghosts?Littlespiritsorpixies?
Idon'tbelievein'em.
Doyou,MrFoxx?
No,sir.
Yousoundit,withall
yourmetaphysicalgibberish.
Ididn'tmeanghostsasspirits,Professor.
http://www.scriptorama.com/movie_scripts/m/midsummernightssexcomedyscript.html
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Nothingisrealbutexperience
thatwhichcanbetouched,tasted,felt
or,insomescientificfashion,proved.
Wemustneversubstitute
qualitativeevents
thataremarkedbysimilarproperties
andrecurrencesforfixedsubstances.
MrSnell,sincethesearethelastfew
momentsbeforethesummervacation,
Iwouldappreciateitifyoucould
remainawakeuntilthefinalbell.
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9/18/2016
I'msorry,sir.
Itakeityouruleoutmetaphysics
asunworthyofseriousconsideration.
AsIstatedquiteclearly
inmylatestpaper,
metaphysicalphilosophersaremenwho
aretooweaktoaccepttheworldasitis.
Theirtheoriesofthesocalled
"mysteriesoflife"
arenothingmorethanprojections
oftheirowninneruneasiness.
Apartfromthisworld,
therearenorealities.
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Butthatleavesmanybasic
humanneedsunanswered.
I'msorry.Ididnotcreatethecosmos.
Imerelyexplainit.
(bellchimesthehour)
Leopold!Congratulations!
Thankyousomuch.Thankyou.
Doyouhaveaphotooftheluckywoman?
Theweddingistomorrow?
Thedayafter.Sunday.
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We'regoingtomycousin's
foracountryceremony.
She'smagnificent!
She'llbethefinaljewelinyourcrown.
Isitboorishofmetoaskyou
toinscribeyourbooks?
IagreewithyouaboutBalzac.
He'svastlyoverrated.
Shehasthefaceofanangel.
Andthedispositionofone,aswell.
Assomeonewhohasresolutely
resistedmatrimony,
Inowmustadmittobeing
thefortunateindividual
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onwhomfortuneshowersherfavours.
Shemustappreciatewhat
anextraordinarycatchshe'sgetting.
Youflatterme,Ambrose.
Iflatterhim!
Aphilosopher,anartcritic,anastute
politicaltheorist,anoutspokenpacifist.
Amanofculture!
AndasingerofSchubertlieder.
Comenow,amItobeoverpraised
merelyforbeingacivilisedhuman?
Whatafterthewedding?
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Weareonlyhavingoneweekofleisure,
whichwewillspendinLondon
alongawaitedopportunity
toshowherThomasCarlyle'sgrave.
Followingthat,
wedepartforthecontinent,
whereIhaveconsentedtogive
aseriesoflecturesonRenaissanceart.
ItwillbeapleasuretobringTintoretto
intoperspectiveforhismanysycophants.
(birdsong)
(clattering)
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(squawking)
(woman)Andrew,areyouallright?
Yeah.No,I'mfine.
Ican'tseemtogetairborne
withmywingsforsomereason.
AndI'vehadwonderfulsuccess
withmyflyingbicycle.
Whydoesabeautifuldayliketoday
givemesuchasadfeeling?
Adrian,Idon'twanttohearanythingsad
now.Iwantthistobeaterrifictimeforus.
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Ijustwannarelaxandhaveagoodtime
andgofishing
andworkonmyinventions,
andIdon'twannathinkaboutWallStreet.
Thisissupposedtobeavacation.
Inevernoticedthisthingbefore,
Andrew.Whatisthat?
That'smyspiritball.Ifitworkswhich
Idoubtitpenetratestheunseenworld.
Oh,yeah?Whichunseenworldisthat?
Youdoadmitthatthere'smoretolife
thanmeetstheeye?Eitherthat,orIweep.
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Yeah,well,likewhat?
Likeectoplasmandvariousenergies.
Iwantthatthingtoemitlightrays,
andtocapturethefutureandthepast.
Incidentally,I'mputtingmycousin
Leopoldandhisfianceinourbedroom.
We'lltaketheguestroomforthenight.
It'llbemuchnicerbeforetheirwedding.
Imaginesharingabedbeforemarriage.
It'salittlebitdepraved.
I'mveryanxioustomeetyourcousin,
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cosItriedtoreadbothhisbooks.
Icouldn'tgetthroughthefirstone
orthesecondone.
IsMaxwellgoingtocomeupalone
orwillhebringaguest?
Maxwellappearwithout
femalecompanionship?
Youknowbetterthanthat.
Youlookadorable.
Oh,Andrew.Um...
Idon'tknowwherehecomesup
withsomeofthesewomen.
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He'sadoctor.Thesepoorwomenin
thetubercularwardshowhimgratitude.
Don'tthinkIdon'tnoticeyouleering
athisbuxomweekendguests.
Ileer.Iadmitit.
Ilook.Ileer.Isalivate.
IsalivatedthedaythatImetyou.
Andrew,whatareyoudoing?
Comeon,Adrian.
It'shighnoon!
This'llgiveyouanappetite.
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Oh,Maxwell.
Sweetheart,listen.
Wecan'tgoonlikethis.
Whynot?
Becausemyhusbandisbeginningto
realisethere'snothingwrongwithme.
It'smedicallysound
tohaveperiodiccheckups.
Yes,butnotsomany.Thepresident
doesn'thavethiskindofhealthcare.
Comeawaywithmethisweekend.
Oh,Ican't!
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Why?YouknowhowIfeelaboutyou.
YouknowhowmuchIwannacome,
butit'sjustnotpossible.
Thisisthebestweekend
ofthewholesummer.
Oh,Maxwell!
What?
Ifthereareotherguests,
we'llhavetohaveseparaterooms...
That'sOK.Youcanalways
leaveyourdoorunlocked.
Ican't.
We'dhavefun.
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It'simpossible!Stopaskingme.
Another...
Anothertime,Ipromise.
Youswear?
Iswear.NowIhavetogoout.
Thankyou,Doctor.
It'sallright,Charles.
It'sonlyamusclespasm.
ComeinnextTuesdayatthree.
I'dliketotakeonemorelook.
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Whatareyousmilingat,MissFord?
Iwasthinkingaboutsomething
IreadinTheKatzenjammerKids.
Whatareyoudoingthisweekend?
Me?Oh...
I'llprobablygotoConeyIsland.Why?
Comeawaywithme.
Where?
Tothecountry.Thecousinofmy
bestfriend'swifeisgettingmarried.
Afewofusaregonnacelebrate.
Really?
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IsitallrightifIcalledyouDulcy?
(laughs)Yes.I'mjustsurprised.
DidyounotknowthatI'vehadmyeye
onyoutheselasttwoweeks?
I'veonlybeenworkinghereforfivedays.
Ilosetrack.
Youalwaysseemsoshyaroundme.
Thenursesonthefloorsayyou'refast.
Me?
Imean,Ithinkyou'rehandsome.
Comewithme.We'llhaveafabulous
weekend.We'llsun,swimanddrinkbeer.
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Naturally,I'llmakesure
wehaveseparaterooms.
Wedon'tneedseparaterooms.
I'msorryaboutthisafternoon.
It'snotyourfault.It'sprobablyme.
Idon'tknowwhat'swrongwithme.
What'swrongisthat
wehaveabadsexlife.
Butwhy?
Becauseweneversleeptogethernow.
Butwhatwentwrong?
Don'taskme.
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Everythingseemedgreattillaboutayear
ago,thenyoujustsortofcooledoff.
I'veapologisedtoyou
aboutahundredtimes.
Youdon'thaveto.Imusthavedone
somethingtomakeyoufeelthatway.
No.Ican'texplainit.Ijuststarted
havingthosemoodsandoddfeelings.
Andtheannoyingthingis
thatIgettenseandIcan'trelax
andthewholethinggetsdestroyed.
Iknow.It'sbecomeachore.
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Right.It'snotthekindofthingthat
shouldbehangingoverourheadsallday,
thatwe'regonnabeinbedtogether.
It'snotfairtoyou.
It'snotfairtoyoueither.
That'swhytodayatthebarnItried
todoitquicklyandgetitoverwith...
Idon'tmean"getitoverwith"
inahorribleway.
Imeanthat...Idon'tknowwhatelsetodo.
Adrian,I'msorry.
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Comeon,I'msorry.
It'sOK.
Couldyougetmeaheadachetablet?
WeshouldaskMaxwell.
He'safriendandadoctor.
God,no!Idon'twanteverybody
toknowourpersonalproblems.
Whataboutyourcousin?
He'saphilosopher.
Dogeniuseshaveproblems
withtheirsexlives?
(Adrian)Oh,please,don'tbringitup!
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(Andrew)I'monlykidding.
Sowho'shemarryinganyhow?
Whatdoesshedo?
Isshealsoaphilosopher,
anastronomerorsomething?
(Adrian)Shedoesn'tdoanything.
Ithinkthatherfamily'sinpolitics.
IbelievehernameisArielWeymouth.
(glassshatters)
Didyoudropsomething?
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Yeah,Idroppedaglass.
Ibettergetthebroomandmakesure
allthesliversareupoffthefloor.
(tinkling)
(Mendelssohn's"SymphonyNo.
inAMinor")
(carapproaches)
(Andrew)Hi!Hey,Maxwell!
Andrew,mygoodness!
Howareyou?Becareful.
ThisisDulcy.Andrew.
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Don'tkillyourself.Wejustgothere.
Hello!
Hedelightsinmakingimpracticalbut...
Adrian!
Hello.
ThisisDulcy.
Howdoyoudo?
Charmed,I'msure.
(crashing)
He'sdown.
Don'tworry.Ialwayscarrybandages.
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Youmustbetiredafteryourmotortrip.
CanIshowyoutoyourroom...rooms?
It'suptohim.
We'lljustuseoneroom.
(Andrew)Maxwell!
Andrew,youOK?
I'vefracturedmylastremainingnose.
Youshouldn'tfly.You'reamammal.
Thankyou,Maxwell.Adoctor
withalicenceisnosmarter.
Themanalwaysinsultsme,
butwhenhe'ssick...
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Yeah,whooverchargesme?
Butyoualwaysgetwell,don'tyou?
Iwouldgetwellevenwithouttheleeches.
SayhellotoDulcy.
Hello,Dulcy.
Charmed,I'msure.
Maxwell,I'llhelpyouwiththat.
I'llshowyoutothehouse.
Oh,it'sabeautifulhouse.
Thankyou.
ItwasAndrew'sbeforeweweremarried.
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Mm,smellthatair.
Oh,ahammock.That'ssonostalgic.
Ilostitinahammock.
Pardonme?
Youreallyhavetohavegoodbalance.
Dulcy'scute.
Whatisshe,yearsold??
She'stwicethat.She'sveryexperienced.
Shecouldn'tkeepherhandsoffme.
Willyougrowup?You'relikeacharacter
inGreekmythologywho'shalfgoat.
Youonlyliveonce.
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Yeah,Iknowyourtheory.
Iseewhatgoesonatthehospital.
I'vehadahellofaweek.
Really?
Peoplewithtumoursandbraindamage,
aguywithsuddenheartfailure...Young
people.Wetell'emthey'regonnadie.
Andtheyneverseizedthemoment,never
hadalife."Gatheryerosebuds",Andrew.
Soyouneverhaveanyinterest
ingettingmarried?
Idon'tstickaround
longenoughtofallinlove.
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Marriageformeisthedeathofhope.
PlusIcan'tseemtofindthatoneperson.
Oh...
Whatisit?What'sthematter,Andrew?
What'swrong?
Maxwell.
Maxwell,thingsareverybad
withAdrianandmyself.
No!
Yeah.Wedon'tsleeptogetheranymore.
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Thatcouldbejusttemporary.
It'sbeengoingonforsixmonths.
Idon'tknowwhattodo.
That'salongtime.
MaybeIshouldtakeyourpulse.
Oh,Jesus...It'sawful.
Shewasneverlikethat,
andthenonedayitjustsetin.
Doyoucheat?
OfcourseIdon'tcheat.
WhatIdoisIpourallmyenergy
intomyinventions.
Becauseofmyprobleminbedwithher,
Icannowfly.It'sawful.
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Maybeshe'sanaemic.
Althoughitsoundslikeit'smental.
They'redoingsomeamazingthings
withhypnosisnowinEurope.
Really?Hypnosis?
Hi!Maxwell,comeonup!
She'saveryprettylittlegirl,isn'tshe?
Who?
Dulcy,Maxwell'sguest.
Why?Whowereyouthinkingof?
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Yes,she'sadorable,Ithink.Sheis.
Whatwasgoingthrough
yourmindjustnow?
Just...Nothing.Why?
Lastnight,whenyoubrokethatglass
andIcameupstairstosweepit,
youwerejustsittingontheedgeof
thebathtub,lookingoffintothedistance.
Iwasexhausted.
DoyouknowArielWeymouth?
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Howisitpossibleforme...Ofcoursenot.
Don'tbesilly,Adrian.
She'sveryfreethinking
andforward,isn'tshe?
Who,ArielWeymouth?
No,Dulcy.
Sheseemstogiveoffanimalvibrations.
Yeah,well,she'sanurse.
Well,noteverynurseissexy.
Butthey'reveryknowledgeable
aboutthebody.
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Theyknowexactlyhowalltheorgans
function,sothey'rewonderful.
MaybeIshouldaskforlessons.
Ibetshe'dbewillingtoanswer
anyquestionsthatyoumighthave.
Oh...
Iwasjustjoking.
YouthinkIneedlessons?
Doyoulikeit?
No,notabit.Mybloodpressure
isalwaysover.
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ItdrivesthemwildatConeyIsland.
Butifwe'regonnabeinacountrystream,
whydoIhavetowearanythingatall?
Well,itmightshockAndrew.He'selderly.
Oh.
Ibroughtsomecontraceptives
withmeincaseyouforgot.
Oh,good.CosIonlybrought.
(carhorn)
(Maxwellsighs)
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(carhorn)
Leopold,hello.
It'swonderfultoseeyouagain.
Hi,there.
YoumustbeAriel.
I'mAdrian.ThisismyhusbandAndrew.
Yes,we'vemetbefore.
Arieltoldmeaboutit.
ItwassuchacoincidencewhenLeopold
saidyouwerehiscousin'shusband.
Itoldhimwewereoldfriends.
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Acquaintances.We're...
Ididn'tknowitwasthesame...Icouldn't
imagineitwasthesameArielWeymouth.
I'llgettheluggage,right?
(Leopold)Likeeachsnowflake,
thereisonlyoneArielWeymouth.
Haha!
(stuttersbreathlessly)
"OnlyoneAriel..."Didyouhear?
Everysnowflake...
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It'sbeenalongtime,CousinAdrian.
Hello.
Hello.
(Adrian)ProfessorLeopoldSturgis,
DrMaxwellJordan.
Charmed.
(Adrian)DulcyFord,ArielWeymouth.
BlueMoonGlow.
That'sexactlyright.I'mamazed.
Ididn'tthinktheysolditinthiscountry.
Well,anoldloveofmineworeit.
AballerinafromSpain.
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Andthescentyou'rewearing,
isthatBayRum?
Yes,exactlyright.
Straightfromthecornerdrugstore.
Werecogniseeachother'ssmells.
Intheanimalkingdom,we'dbemarried.
AreyoutheDrJordanwho
wrotethebookonnaturalscience?
Yes,it'smyhobby.
Imustbehonest.Ithoughtitwaspoor.
Itwasn'tgreat.I'mjust
anamateurspeculatoronscience.
Ilikedyourbook,Professor.
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Bothof'em.Ilikedbothof'em.
Thefirstonewaschosenasthebest
philosophicaltreatiseoftheyear.
Whichone?
ConceptualPragmatism.
Ihaven'tgottentothatyet.
Exactlywhatisit?
ThehouseisexactlyasIrememberit.
You'vebeenherebefore?
Justonce.Yearsago.
Whatanoddcoincidence.
ShallIshowyoutoyourroom,
ordoyouknowtheway?
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(laughs)"Doyouknowtheway?"
Didyouhearthat?
Come,wife.
"Sumerisicumenin,
Lhudesingcuccu!"
"Growethsed,andblowethmed,
Andspringththewudenu."
"Singcuccu!"
So,you'vebeenherebefore.
You'vemetAndrew?
Yes.Alongtimeago,
beforeIleftforParis.
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Wespentalittletimetogether.
Verylittle.
I'vebeentoParistwice,
butIwasmiserablebothtimes.
ProbablybecauseIwasthere
withthewrongperson.
That'simportant,
becauseit'ssucharomanticplace.
Iftwopeoplearereallyinlove,
acitylikeParisbecomesagreatmedium
throughwhichtoexploretheirfeelings.
Don'tyouthink,Leopold?
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Ilikelargecities.
Oh,andintherain...
Tellmeaboutyourbook,Professor.
What'stheplot?
Whatdoyoudo,Miss,uh...?
Dulcy.
MissDulcy.
I'manurse,butIgettodoalotofreading.
Thepatientsallhavebooks.
Alotofthemaretooweaktoread,
ortheydieandIgettokeepthecopies.
Look,whydon'twechangeourclothes
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andplaybadminton?
(Adrian)Howcouldyoulietome?
(Andrew)Ididn'tlie,Adrian.
Iwasnotlying.
DoyouwannaknowwhyIlied?
Youtoldmeyoudidn'tknowher.
Yes,thatpartIadmit.
Whatdoyoumean,"admit"?
Icaughtyou!Youwereexposed!
MayImakemypoint,please?
Whydidn'tyouwantmetoknow?
Thewaythingsareinourmarriage,
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Ithoughtyou'dbefull
offearandsuspicion.
Ithoughtyou'dbeuneasyallweekend.
Becauseyou'reguilty.
Guilty?That'salaugh.HowamIguilty?
HowcanIbeguiltyifIdidn'tdoanything?
WhyshouldIbeuneasy
unlessyouwerelovers?
Lovers?Ineverlaid
afingeronthewoman.
Didn'tyoueventhink
shewasgonnagiveyouaway?
Ithoughtitwassoinsignificantshe
wouldn'tremember.Itwassolongago.
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YouthinkthatIwouldcare?
IknowIwasn'tthefirstone.
It'sjustthatyouliedtome
thatmakesmewonder.
Youdroppedthatglass
atthementionofhername.
Ourmarriageisnotgoingwell,
soIthoughtthelesssaid,thebetter.
Youwentoutwithher?
No,never!
Yeah,once.
Once,andyoutookherhere?
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Sotwice,threetimes.Yougonnaquibble?
Idroveheruphere.
Itwasasimplething.
IshowedherthepremisesandIdroveher
backtoNewYorkCity.Itwasveryeasy...
Iswearbymymother.
Youdidn'tmakelovetoher?
No!Iwouldrememberthat.
AndwhatifIdid?
WhichIdidn't.Ineverdid.
I'vegotareallyterribleheadache.
I'mgonnagogetmoretablets.
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Listen,sohowdoyoufeelabouthernow,
whenyouseeherafteralltheseyears?
ThisiswhyIdidn'ttellyou.Ifthingswere
OKbetweenus,thiswouldn'tbotheryou.
Butyou'resovulnerable,
andthey'llbehereallweekend,
andwedon'tsleeptogetheranymore...
Oh!Notsoloud.
Andshe'ssobeautiful...
Oh...
That'sasimplefact.
Ablindmancouldseethat.
Adrian,Iloveyou.Iwasneverinlovewith
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ArielWeymouthandIdon'tlovehernow.
Hey,trustme.
(Maxwell)
SohowdidyouandLeopoldmeet?
(Ariel)Wewerebothtourists
atStPeter'sinRome.
(Maxwell)Youpickedherup
attheVatican?
(Ariel)MywholelifeIwanted
toseetheSistineChapelceiling.
(Leopold)Imetherin
thebasilicabeforeamadonna.
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Icouldn'tresisttheimpulse
tospeaktothisheavenlycreature.
(Ariel)Leopold'sanexpertonItalianart.
(Leopold)Ihadtheprivilegeofescorting
ArielthroughtheSistineChapel
andexplainingtoherexactlywhy
Michelangelo'sceilingwasindeedgreat.
(Ariel)WhenRaphaelfirst
laideyesonit,hefainted.
(Maxwell)Hadheeaten?
(Mendelssohn's
"ViolinConcertoinEMinor")
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Tosummer.
Tosummer
(Leopold)"Thespring,thesummer,
Thechildingautumn,
angrywinter,change
Theirwontedliveries."
OK.Trysomethingelse.
Gotit.
CanIstopnow?
Doyourememberthesewoodsatall?
Doyourememberthebridgedownthere?
Ofcourse.Itwasoneofthemost
beautifulsummernightsI'deverseen.
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Itwasveryromantic.
Ithinkaboutthatnightallthetime.
No,really?
Yeah.
AndwhenIdo,Iwanttokillyou.
Killyouormyself,butmuchmoreyou.
Whatfor?
Doyouhaveanyidea
howmuchIlustedafteryou?
Whydidn'tyoudosomething?
Iwantedyouto.
Youwerethisdiplomat'sdaughter,
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raisedbynuns.
Iwasshy.Wewerenotinlove.
Itwaspureanimallust.
That'sjustwhatIwasinthemoodfor.
Iknow.Imissedanopportunity.
I'veregrettediteversince.
That'sthesaddestthinginlife,
amissedopportunity.
Andparticularlyrotteninthiscase
becauseafteryouleft,
amonthafteryouwenttoEurope,
Ilearnedthatyouwere,andhadbeen,
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9/18/2016
sleepingwitheveryone.Everyone!
Noteveryone.
Well,maybeitwaseveryone.
Iwouldn'thavebeenthefirst,
I'dhavebeenthest.
Writers,bankers,poets,theentire
infieldoftheChicagoWhiteSox.
Youhavetoadmit,Iwasn'toneof
yourshrinking,mousy,inhibitedvirgins.
Theunderstatementofthecentury.
Didyouwantmetotakecharge?
Youdidn'tactlikeyouwantedanything.
Iwasusedtoslowerwomen.
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AdrianandIhadnosex
tillweweremarried.
Whyarewerehashingallthis?Huh?
It'sover.We'retwoolderpeoplenow.
Bytomorrowthistime,I'llbemarriedtoo.
WhatisitwithyouandLeopold?
He'ssomucholderthanyou.
Leopold'sverybrilliant.Agenius.
Sowhat?Ifyou'resuchafreespirit,
whydoyouwanttotieyourselfdown?
Youknow.Forawoman,
theyearsslipawayquickly.
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9/18/2016
Don'ttellmeyou'regettingscared.
Maybe.
Butwhy?Idon'tunderstand.
You'resobeautifulandcharming.
Youcouldgetanymanthatyouwanted.
No,that'snottrue.
Thatwasalwaystrue,Ariel.
Notyou.
Me?
Ithinkamongstalltheloveaffairs
Iwasrunningthroughthen,
youweretheoneperson
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9/18/2016
thatcouldhavestoppedme.
Icouldhave?
Yeah.I...
Iwasreallybeginningtocareforyou.
SometimesIwonderwhatwouldhave
happenedifwe'dmadelovethatnight.
Themomentwassoperfect.
Peoplefindoutthingsabout
themselvesthroughlovemaking
thattheyneverdreamedof.
What?Whatareyouthinking?
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9/18/2016
Nothing.Onlythatourwholelivesmight
havebeendifferentifonlyIhadacted.
Tellmesomething,Andrew.
Ifyoulustedaftermeso,
whyweren'tyoualsoinlovewithme?
Canthetwofeelingsreallybeseparate?
(Andrew)Didyouseethetrout
thatIgot?Itwasgreat!
(Leopold)Look,Ariel,afossil!
(Maxwell)Hemeansyou,Andrew.
Millionsofyearsold,whenprehistoric
manroamedherenakedandsavage.
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9/18/2016
Givemethegood,olddays.
You'dliketosee
somelonghairedNeanderthal,
hisprimitiveweaponinhand,
stalkingthroughthebrushlikeananimal,
neverdreamingthat
somedayhewillbeextinct
andculturewillbetheorderoftheday?
Well,I'dliketotryitforonenight.
Look!There'sayellowbelliedsapsucker.
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9/18/2016
Wegetalotofgreatbirdshere.
Ilovenature.Icouldliveinthewoods.
Maxwellwasraisedbywolves.
Andhewasraisedbyskunks.
Maxwell,whynotdo
thedanceofthemerrypeasants?
(Leopold)Thereare
toomanypeasantsasitis.
(Dulcy)There'sanothersapsucker!
(Maxwell)Thatsoundsdirty.
Thesewoodsareespeciallybeautiful.
(Andrew)They'reenchanted.
Onsummernights,youcanseethings.
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9/18/2016
(Adrian)Shadowsandglowingthings.
(Andrew)Yeah,spirits.
(Leopold)Shadows,
glowingthings,spirits...
Whatpatheticdelusions
wefrightenedhumansclingto.
(Ariel)Leopoldhasnopatience
withthespiritworld.
(Maxwell)Ibelieveinthespiritworld.
(Andrew)Youhaveto.
That'swhereallyourpatientswindup.
(Maxwell)Veryfunny,Andrew.
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9/18/2016
Veryfunny.
YouwerefishingwithAriel
forsuchalongtime.
Icouldn'tgetthefishtobite,that'sall.
Wereyoureminiscing?
Iwasoutwithheronceyearsago!
Wehadacoupleoflobsters,
somebeersandthatwasit.
Youstillrememberexactlywhatyouate?
Adrian,I'mgonnabegladwhen
thisweekendisoverit'sadisaster.
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9/18/2016
LeopoldandMaxwellhateeachotherand
youI'mgonnahavetotaketoahypnotist.
Why?
Sowecanstartmakingloveagain.
You'llbeinatrance,butthat'sOK.
That'sterrible!
Youhaven'treadmyideas.
Yourviewiseducated,butit'snarrow.
That'swhyyourbookwassecondrate.
Ayellowbandedbutterfly.
I'vebeenlookingforonemywholelife.
Don'tscareit.Bringthenet.
(Ariel)Itwentthatway.
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(Dulcy)Whichwaydiditgo?
(Maxwell)Everybodyquietandfanout.
(Andrew)WhatamIsupposedtobe
lookingfor?Ididn'tseeanybutterfly.
(Dulcy)Thereitis!
(Andrew)Whatcolourisit?
Didyouhurtyourself?Didyou...
Everybodystandback.Giveherair.
Doesthathurt?
It'sprobablythemetatarsal.
Relax,it'snothingserious.
Maxwell,stopfondlingherinstep.
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Thebutterfly'sgone.
I'msorry.
That'swhatcomesfromhorsingaround.
RunningaroundthewoodslikeIndians.
She'sgonnabefine.
Thismanisamajorquack.
Oh,oh,oh!
Oh,thatfeelsgood.Oh,yes.
Rightinthere,isn'tit?
Yes.
Doyoutwowanttobealone?
Areyouwellenoughtowalk?
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Ithinkso.
Justholdit.
It'smuchbetter.
Youdon'twantittocomeback.
Shesaidshewasfine.
OK.Allbetter.
It'sfine!It'sgood.Iused
togetthisatdanceclassallthetime.
Youstudieddance?SodidI,
butmyfolksinsistedonmedicine.
I'mtiredofstandingaroundamidst
poisonivy,snakesandtoadstools.
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9/18/2016
Ijustwantedtomakesure
shedidn'tpullatendon.
Besides,it'snotpoisonivy
andthey'renottoadstools.
Youarewrong.
Toadstoolsisexactlywhattheyare.
Yes?Well,these
happentobemushrooms.
Thosearepoisonousfungi.
Ibelieveyou'remistaken.
Doesitmatter?
Idon'tthinkyou'dbewillingtoeatone.
No?
(Ariel)Don'tberidiculous.Let'sgo.
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9/18/2016
Thosearetoadstools.Adoctorwhowrites
aboutnatureshouldknowthedifference.
Yeah,giveusallathrill.Popone
intoyourmouthandgointoconvulsions.
Maxwell!
OK,Leopold.Yeah.
Foronceinyourlife,doyoustand...
(Maxwellsplutters)
Getsomecoffeeorsomething.
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9/18/2016
Dowehaveanythinginhere?Quickly.
There'ssomeaspirin.
Getsomeplainwhitebread.
(Andrew)Idon'tknow
whathewastryingtoprove.
(Adrian)Leopold,putdown
thetelescopeandcomehelpus.
Thesummerlightissobeautiful
atthishour,isn'tit?
Ilovethelongdays.
SodoI.Itmakesmethink
ofwhenIwasalittlegirl.
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9/18/2016
Metoo.Fullofdreams.
Yes.Mostlyaboutfallinginlove.
Minetoo.
Doyouthinkthatwhen
twopeopleareinlove
itmustalwaysexpressitselfphysically?
Idon'tunderstand.
Doyoumeanthat,um...aman
couldlustpassionatelyforawoman
butstillhemightnotloveher?
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9/18/2016
Idon'tknow.It'sveryconfusing
whenyoutryandthinkaboutit,isn'tit?
Tellme,Idon'tmeantobeforward,
butwasitadifficultdecision
to,youknow,comefromaconvent
andeverything,andguardyourchastity,
todecidetosharethebed
withLeopoldbeforethewedding?
N...N...Nottootough.
IwishI'dhavebeenthatbrave.
It'sfunny.Ialwaysconsidered
myselfamodernwoman,
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9/18/2016
andthenIseesomeonelikeNurseDulcy.
(Adrian)Yeah.Ihearsheknowshowall
theorgansfunctionandjustwhattodo.
(Ariel)Ithinkmen
appreciatevigorouswomen.
(Adrian)Yes?
(Ariel)Andyoungones.Thisbeautiful
summerlightdoesn'tlastforever.
Iwaswatchingyou.Youshootwell.
It'sallinthepectoralmuscles.
Healthypectorals.Youshouldtryit.
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9/18/2016
Ratherthanusing
weaponsofdestruction,
myaggressiveimpulsesaregivenventin
themoresociallyacceptablechessboard.
Iwouldn'tmindlearningchess.
Ifeelitwouldbetameforyou.
Ilikethewaythestallionslook.
They'recalledknights.
That'saknight.Notastallion.
They'rewatchingus.
Who?
Leopold.Hetriedtopoisonme.
Yeah.Right,sure.
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I'minlovewithAriel.
Iknow,she'sbeautiful.
No,ImeanI'mreallyinlovewithher.
Idon'tblameyou.She'sexceptional.
Youdon'tunderstand.
Idon'twanthertogetmarried.
Maxwell,makeyourshot.
Iwannatakemybath.
I'veneverfeltlikethis.
ThemomentIsmelledher,Ilovedher.
Smellsomeoneelse,
becauseshe'staken.
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9/18/2016
Jesus,he'ssuchapompousass!
Iknow.
Butthistimetomorrow
she'sgonnabeMrsPompousAss.
What'sthematterwithyou?
Don'tyouknowwhatshe'sthinking?
Whatdoesthatmean?
Ikissedher!
Youdid?
Yeah,inthewoods.IthinkLeopoldsaw.
He'swatchingmelikeahawk.
Sheletyoukissher?
Notexactly,butIcouldfeel
herlipstremblewithfeeling.
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9/18/2016
Don'ttellmeaboutit.Adrian'sjealous
enough.I'vehadanexperiencewithAriel.
Whatwasthatexperience?
Itwasnothing.
Whatdoyoumean"Itwasnothing"?
Itwasbriefandplatonic.
Bringhertothebrook.
Don'ttellherit'stomeetme.
Whythebrook?
What'sthematter?Relax.
Youjustlustafterher.You'renotinlove.
Youwannasleepwithher.
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9/18/2016
Howcouldanyonejustwannasleepwith
suchadream?NotthatIdon't.She'shot.
They'reincredibleinbed,
theonesraisedinaconvent.
Maxwell,goplaywithyourbutterflynet.
TakeawalkwithAriel.Gotothebrook.
Ican't!Adrian'stoojealous.
Whatdidyoutwodo
thatwassoincriminating?
Nothing.
Don'tsaynothing.You'reblushing.
Leavemealone,Maxwell.
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9/18/2016
Yousleptwithher,didn'tyou?
Ididn't.
Youstilllikeher,don'tyou?
No.Goaway.
God,Andrew,I'msuffering.Imeanit!
Allright!I'llbringhertothebrook.
I'lltalktoheronyourbehalf.I'lltry.
Stopit,they'relookingatus.
Didn'thesay
thattheynappedbeforedinner?
(Dulcy)Check.
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9/18/2016
(Leopold)Veryaggressive.
Youlearnquickly.
AndifIdothis?
(Dulcy)Trapped.
Youhaveawonderfulflair
forspatialrelationships.
Canyougetawaylateron?
Whatdoyoumean?
Imeancanyougetawaylateron
tobealonewithme?
Whatfor?
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9/18/2016
Thesearemylastfewhoursoffreedom.
Professor!
Iprayyou,donotregister
untowarddismay.
Ihaveknownmanywomen,anditis
onlybecauseIcherishArielsointensely
thatIam,withsometrepidation,closing
thebookonmybachelorhoodforever.
Iholdthemarriagevowssacredand,
oncewed,wouldneverbeunfaithful.
Idon'tknowwhattosay.
Please,
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9/18/2016
theshameIfeelovermydesires
isalreadytoomuchtobear.
Don'tbeashamed.
I'mjustsurprisedit'smeyouasked.
YouhaveanopenpersonalityandIfeel
you'remodernenoughinyourthinking
nottomakemoreoftheexperience
thanisintended.
And,althoughI'msurely
notthefirsttotellyou,
you'requiteattractive
andyouradiateacertainrawenergy.
I'mnotsayingthatitwouldn'tbe
aninterestingexperienceforme.
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9/18/2016
Whatifyourfiancefindsout?
Shemustnever.
IwantArielformywifeand...
yetthepullisstrong.
Icannothelpimagining
whatitwouldbelikewithyou.
I'mflattered.
Haveyouevermadelove
withamucholderman?
Yes.
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9/18/2016
Illicitly?Inthewoods?
Yes.
Washeagenius?
Hewasadentist.
Doyoufindmeunattractive?
No,you'reelegant.
Wouldyoumeetme
whereweswamtoday,atsix?
Yes.
I'mgrateful.
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9/18/2016
(Andrew)Ariel!Psst!
Ariel!
Ariel!Ariel!
(stonesclatteronwall)
Areyougonnabeinthereforawhile?
(Maxwell)Ijustgotinthetub
abouttwominutesago.
Ireallylikesoakinginagood,hotbath.
IthinkI'llstayinhereforhalfanhour,
costhewaterfeelssogoodonmyback.
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9/18/2016
Mm.Well...
I'mbushed.IthinkI'lljust
takenap,sojust,youknow...
relaxandtakeaslong
asyouwantinthetub.
Don'tworryaboutme.I'lltakeanap
forabout,maybe,halfanhourorso.
(waterflows)
(Dulcy)Oh!
(Adrian)Ihavetospeaktoyou.
(Dulcy)Now?
(Adrian)Please.It'sanemergency.
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9/18/2016
(Dulcy)What'sthematter?
Ididn'tknowwhereelsetoturn.
(Dulcy)Calmdown,please.
I'manurse.It'sOK.
Sorry.Thisisveryhardforme.
(Dulcy)Don'tworry.
Hecan'thearyou.It'sfine.It'sOK.
Allright.Thethingis...
Iwanttolearnhow
topleasemyhusbandinbed.
Ariel!Ariel!
86/185
9/18/2016
Andrew!Whatareyoudoingthere?
MaxwellJordanisinlovewithyou.
He'samedicalCasanova.
No,he'sawonderfulguy
andaterrificdoctor.
Really.Neverlostapatient.Gotacouple
of'empregnant,butneverlostone.
I'mgettingmarriedtomorrow.
Youdon'tloveLeopold.Youknowthat.
You'rejustinlovewiththeideaof
marryingagreatscholar.Iknowyou.
You'vegotalotofnerve.
Thatwasyourgoalevenwaybackthen.
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9/18/2016
Youweren'tlisteningtoanything
Iwassaying"waybackthen".
Allthatwasonyourmind
wasanimalpassion.
Andwhatwasonyourmind?
It'smyfault.
Ishouldn'thaveflirtedwithMaxwell.
Itjustcomesnaturally.
NowI'vestartedsomething.
Helikesthewayyousmell.
Oh,Andrew.I'msomixedup.
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9/18/2016
That'swhythesoonerImarryLeopold
andsettledown,thebetter.
You'vegottagiveMaxwellfiveminutes.
He'spiningawayforyou.
Ineversawtheguysoseriousinhislife.
Unlessyou'reabsolutelycertainthatwhat
you'redoingtomorrowistherightthing.
It'salittlelateforme
tobehavingthosethoughts.
Butnottoolate.
IwasfinetillIsawyouagain.Fine!
Comewithmetothebrook.
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9/18/2016
Here,I'vebroughtahat.
Hopon,really.Forfiveminutes.
Andrew,we'llgetkilled.
No,don'tbesilly.Trustme.
It'sme,Andrew.
Trustmeanyhow.
(Ariel)MyGod,we'reflying!
(Andrew)Iknow.It'sperfect.
(Ariel)It'sgreat.Betternotlookdown.
(Andrew)Hangontight.
(Andrew)Iknewitwouldwork!Iknewit!
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9/18/2016
(Ariel)It'swonderful!
You!
Iwas,uh...
Iwasjusthereandlooking
atsomemossformations.
Icouldn'tsleep.Ifeltlikeastroll.
Whatacoincidence.
Areyoustaying?
Areyou?No!
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9/18/2016
Uh...Whydon'twestrolltogether?
Yes.
No!Notthatway.
Ithinkthere'ssomething
moreinterestingupthere.
Yes?
Oh,yes.
There'ssomeveryinterestingleaves.
I'dliketoshowthemtoyou.
It'smuchbetterthatway,especially
ifyou'reinthemoodforastroll.
Yes,that'stheonlyreason
I'mabout.Iusuallynap.
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9/18/2016
Ifyou'dprefertowalkalone,
Icouldgiveyoudirections.
Wouldyouratherstrollbyyourself?
Certainlynot!Notme.
Wecantalkaboutnature,
evenifwedon'tagreeoneverything.
(Leopoldchuckles)
(Ariel)Oh,God.WhatamIgonnado?
NowIknowmyflyingbicycle
won'thandlethatweight.
Wecouldhavebeenkilled.
Notkilled.Crippled.
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9/18/2016
Thatlakeiscold.
You'reshivering.
Comeon,you'reshaking.
Youknow,you'rewet.
IknowI'mwet!
IthoughtIsawaredwingedblackbird.
Yes.
Thesewoodsarefascinating
andbeautiful.
Thereissomething
magicalaboutthem.
Fourmilesisratherlonger
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thanIanticipated.
We'rehalfthere.
So,tomorrow'sthebigday,huh?
Mmhm.
YouknowwhatIjokinglycallmarriage?
"Thedeathofhope".
Jokingly,ofcourse.Although
nojokeisevercompletelyuntrue.
I'mawarethatyouhavedesignsonAriel.
What?!
It'spointlesstodenyit.
Iobservethewayyoustareather
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9/18/2016
andtakepleasureinherbehaviour.
Icanalmosthearyourheartbeat
whenshe'sclosetoyou.
Youhavesomeimagination.
IassureyouArieldoesnotreturnthese
ratherdesperateandvulgarfeelings.
You'renottooovereducated
togetapunchinthenose.
Goahead,hitme.
You'vewantedtoallday.
Don'tbeafraid.Ineverresistviolence.
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9/18/2016
Irealisethatoftenitis
thesolerecourseofprimitives.
It'slikeswimming.
It'sameasuredstroke.
Andremember,here'sthekey.
Whenthespermcountislow,
theywon'tlistentoreason.
Butwhenthespermcountishigh,
they'lldoanythingyouwant.
Itsoundsawfullyclinical.
Well,we'rejustgoingoversomebasics.
Butifyoulovetheguy,
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9/18/2016
itshouldallcometogether
withacertainsense
ofdangerandexcitement.
Youshouldn'tjustlimit
yourselftothebedroom.
Itshouldbefullofsurprise
andspontaneity.
Itshouldn'tberoutine.
Mmhm.
(Andrew)Iunderstand
Maxwellkissedyoutoday?
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9/18/2016
(Ariel)Yes.Verysuddenly,inthewoods.
(Andrew)Howdiditfeel?
Itfeltgood.
(Andrew)Whatdoyoumean?
Youaskedhowitfelt.Isaidgood.
(Andrew)Sohowcanyou
thinkofgettingmarried?
(Ariel)I'malwaysmixedup
whenitcomestotheoppositesex.
IthinkIknowwhatIwant,
andthenIdon't.AndthenIdo.
Whataboutyou?How'syourmarriage?
Mymarriageisfine.
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9/18/2016
It'snotworking,butit'sfine.
I'msorry.
SoyoufindMaxwellattractive?
Well,kindof.Inhisownway.
You'rekidding.Thekid'stubby.
Haven'tyounoticed?He'sabutterball.
Afewminutesagoyouwere
tellingmehowgreathewas.
He'sgreat.Don'tmisunderstandme.
It'sjustthathe'sblubber.
Iguessheis.
IfIhadonlyactedthattime
whenwewereatthebrookthatnight!
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9/18/2016
Yeah.
Itjusthauntsme.
NotaweekhasgonebythatIhaven't
dreamtaboutyouorthatevening.
Weshouldn'tbetalkinglikethis.
Igottagetmarriedtomorrow.
Why?Whatareyourunninginto?
Stopforasecond.
I'mnotrunningintoit.No.
He'sperfectforme,really.
He'ssolid.He'staughtmealot.
Likewhat?
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9/18/2016
LikehowtolistentoMozart.
Withyourears,right?
Isthatareasontomarry...
(sneezes)
Hey,areyouOK?
Wegotwet.Weshouldgoback.
(knockingatdoor)
Maxwell,it'sflooding!
Maxwell,areyouallright?
Max...
Ifellasleepinthetubanditoverflowed.
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9/18/2016
Igoteverythingundercontrol.
Didyouhaveagoodnap?
Yeah,Ijustdecidedtochange.
Oh.
I,uh...didn'tfeeltired
soItookabriefstroll.
You'vebeenintherealongtime.
Oh,I...I...I...
Ifellasleepinthebath.
Didyouhaveanicestroll?
Yes.Veryenlightening.
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9/18/2016
Didyouhaveanicebath?
Oh,yes.Veryrefreshing.
Wherehaveyoubeen?
Thetable'sstillnotset.
Iwas...choppingice.Iwasinthebarn.
Iwasjust...
Therewasahugeblockofice
andIchoppedit.
We...We'llhavetheicefordinner.
OK,Iunderstand.
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9/18/2016
Hey...
Dinner'snowherenearready.
Oh.No.
Ihadtocleanthefish.
Ithoughtyousaidyoucleanedthefish.
Oh,Ididn'tmeantosaythefish.
Imeanttosaythechicken.
We'rehavingfishandchicken,
becauseLeopoldhatesfish.
Moretrout,Leopold?
Please,yes.
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9/18/2016
Thetrellisisbroken.Haveyou
beenclimbingonitagain,Andrew?
No,Iwasjusttryingtofix
somethingthere.It'saterriblestory.
Ioncegotlockedinthebathroom.
Andrewclimbedupthetrellisandgot
meoutthewindow.Itwasveryromantic.
I'dliketosaythat,
alsothatI'malittledrunk.
Thewineisalittleheavy.
It'sgonestraighttomyheadtoo.
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9/18/2016
You'llturnintooneofthosedoctors
whosehandsshakewhentheyoperate.
Domesticbrandsarealwayslesssubtle.
Didanyoneseethatbig,strangebird
thatwasflyingaroundbeforedinner?
Whatbird?
Theonethatdivedintothelake.
Youknowwhatthereisuphere?
There'shawksandeagles.
Youhaven'tbeentrying
yourwingsonagain,Andrew?
Yeah,sure.Ialwaysspinaroundthelake
acoupleoftimesbeforedinner.
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9/18/2016
Itbuildsmyappetite.
Soyou'reaninventor,eh?
Crackpotinventor.
Inactuallife,Ihelppeoplewiththeir
investmentsuntilthere'snothingleft.
Whatwasthatoddlookingcontraption
withtheballontopthatwesawearlier?
Thatwasmyspiritbox.
It'sakindofamagiclantern
thatpenetratestheunseenworld.
Whatunseenworld?
Forestspirits?Littleglowingthings?
108/185
9/18/2016
Youcanmakefunifyouwant,
butyouallwilladmit
thatthere'smoretolifethan
whatweperceivewithourfivesenses.
I'mafraidnot.
(Ariel)Oh,Ithinkthereis.
I'veseenthesespiritsonsummernights.
Truthisnobodyreallyknows.
ThatthinglookedlikesomethingIsaw
atamagicshowatConeyIsland.
Thereisnothingmagicalaboutexistence.
Itgrowsmoreunderstandableeveryday.
109/185
9/18/2016
Greaterfamiliaritywithsomeof
ourbestmindsmightmakethatclear.
Idisagree.Ithinkthatifanythingcan
besaidtobemagical,it'stheuniverse.
(Andrew)Me,too.
Whatapitythatpeoplerequire
morefortheirexistence
thanthewonderfulworldaboutthem.
It'snotalwayssowonderful
downatthehospital.
Sowhenareyougonnashowus
thislittletrickofyours?
110/185
9/18/2016
It'snotatrick.I'mgonnatryitlater.
It'sgottabedarkbeforeIcandoanything.
Andrew'sinventedaweddingpresent
foryouandAriel.
Oh,really?What?
Tellthemaboutthat.
It'snothing.It'sasillyapparatus
thattakesthebonesoutoffish.
Orifyouprefer,althoughthere's
nopointtoit,itputsbonesinfish.
That'sgreat.
ToLeopoldandAriel.
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9/18/2016
Tomorrowtheywillbemanandwife,
forsakingallothers
tilldeathdothempart.
Maytheybeveryhappywithone
anotherfortherestoftheirlives.
(Adrian)Areyouallright?
Areyouchoking?AreyouOK?
Justalittlewine
wentdownthewrongway.
You'regulpingitdownlikeitwasmilk.
I'llbeallright.I'mjustalittledizzy.
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9/18/2016
It'snotabone?
Isheanalcoholic?
No.Hejusthadalittletoomuchtonight.
(Dulcy)Hestartedonanemptystomach.
Hejusthastowalkitoff.
(Adrian)So,wherewillyou
settleafteryou'remarried?
I'vetakenatownhouse
neartheuniversity.
Ican'twaitforArieltomeetthe
professors.I'mtheenvyofthefaculty.
You'lladoreProfessorEddyandhiswife.
They'reveryentertaining,
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9/18/2016
withakindofathemetotheirmarriage.
HespecialisesinDrJohnson
andsheteachesBoswell.
They'reanentertaining
andamusingcouple,
andIlookforwardto
manywonderfulchats.
Well,towonderfulchats,
andBoswellandJohnson,
andLeopoldandAriel,
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9/18/2016
andthissummernight,
andyoutwo,ofcourse.
AndMaxwell.
AndDrMaxwellJordan.
Doctorofhighjinks.
AndtoAdrianandAndrew.
(gunshot)
Wheredidthatcomefrom?
Maxwell!Maxwell!
Maxwell,whatisit?
Didyouhurtyourself?
115/185
9/18/2016
You'rebleeding.
Ijustpickeditupanditwentoff.
Ididn'tknowitwasloaded.
Putthatthingdown!Becarefulwithit!
Jesus,areyouOK?
Yeah,I'mallright.
Andrew,youkeepitloaded!
No,Idon't.That'swhatIdon'tunderstand.
I'mOK.Goonbacktodinner.
There'snoharmdone.I'mallright.
Everybody,go.
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9/18/2016
We'llputabandageonit.
Gobacktothehouse.We'llputsome
alcoholonit.Justrelax.He'sOK.
Maxwell,letmesee
thatthingforasecond.
Maxwell,areyoucrazy?
Ineverkeepbulletsinthatthing.
Sowhat?
Soareyouinsane?
Issheworthputting
abulletthroughyourheadfor?
Iloveher.
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9/18/2016
Idon'tknowwhoI'mtalkingto
anymore.Idon'tknowyou.
Nobodyknowsme.
Don'tbemelodramatic.Areyoucrazy?
MaybeI'mdrunk,butIhaven'tbeenable
tothinkofanythingelsebutherallday.
Ihavetobealonewithher.
Whatareyoutellingme?
Whatwouldhavehappenedifyouhadn't
missed?Whatatragedythatwouldbe.
Wouldn'tyoudieforAriel?
Me?
Iseethewayyoulookather.
I'mnotapoet.
118/185
9/18/2016
Idon'tdieforlove.
IworkonWallStreet.
Iwaitedforher.Youneversenther.
Itried!
Wasshewillingtocome?
Yes!Itriedtotakeherbyair.
Wefellintothelake.Itwasridiculous.
Wehadtogetout.Wewalked.
Ourclothesweresoakingwet.
Itsoundsveryromantic,
walkingaroundwithwetclothes.
Didyoukissher?
119/185
9/18/2016
Kissher?Isneezedonher.
Whydoyoublushwhenwediscussher?
Maxwell,leavemealone!
IfIdidloveher,itwouldn'tmatter.
She'smarryingLeopold.
Whatdoyoumean,ifyoudidloveher?
Doyouloveher?
I'msaying"if".IfIlovedher,
ifIwasn'tmarried,then...
Then...
Well,thenwewouldhavesomeproblems.
120/185
9/18/2016
Lasssingen,Gesell,lassrauschen
Undwandrefrhlichnach!
EsgehnjaMhlenrder
InjedemklarenBach
EsgehnjaMhlenrder
InjedemklarenBach
Lasssingen,Gesell,lassrauschen
Undwandrefrhlichnach!
Frhlichnach!
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9/18/2016
Frhlichnach!
(Dulcy)That'swonderful.
Ichgrollenicht
UndwenndasHerzauchbricht
Ewigverlor'nesLieb!
Ewigverlor'nesLieb!
Iloveyou.Don'tgetmarried.
Ssh.
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9/18/2016
Ican'tlivewithoutyou.I'mserious.
Whatachildishthingtodointhebarn.
Doyouhaveanyfeelingsformeatall?
Idon'tknow.
Howwillyoueverifyougetmarried?
Iwon't.
Meetmelater.
Goaway.
Bythebrookatmidnight.
Don'tcausetrouble!
Givemeachance!Ihaven't
hadasinglefreemoment
toshowyouhowcharmingIcanbe.
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Yourcharmisapparent,
butthat'snotenough.
Whyareyousostubborn?
DoyouloveAndrew?
Howdareyou!
Youprotesttoostrongly.
IloveLeopold.
Youdon't.He'drunapoorthird.
You'rerude.
You'readorable.AndAndrew'smarried.
(Leopoldcontinuessinging)
(Maxwellwhispers)
124/185
9/18/2016
Goaway,willyou?
We'vebothhadtoomuchwine.
Howcanyouresist?Themoonisfull.
You'reabouttobemarriedforever.
Thisisyourlastfreenight.
Spenditwithme.
Tenminutes,justtalking.Iknowif
youknewmebetter,you'dlikeme.
Youdon'twanttogetmarriedwiththe
naggingthought"MaybeIshouldhave."
"MaybeifI'dgivenhimtenminutes,
hewouldhavechangedmymind."
"Butnowit'stoolate.
125/185
9/18/2016
I'mtheprofessor'swife."
"Secure,it'strue,yetsomething's
missing.MaybeifI'dacted..."
Stopit!
Marriageisthedeathofhope.
Itisnot.
No,notwiththerightperson.
Idon'tloveyou.
Becauseyoudon'tknowme.
Givemetenminutes.Tenlousyminutes.
Ifyoudon't,I'llkillmyselfrightafter
thewedding.ThistimeIwon'tmiss.
126/185
9/18/2016
(whisperingcontinues)
Allright!OK,I'llmeetyou.
Youpromise?
Goaway.
Ifyoudon'tcome,
theguiltwillhauntyouforever.
(Adrian)Ariel,comeplayforawhile.
Allright.
Yes,whydon'tyou?
Ifeellikesomethingdevotional.
Iloveyouraccompaniment.Youhave
awayofcaressingthewordsIsing.
127/185
9/18/2016
(Arielplays)
OurFather
Whichartinheaven
Hallowedbe...
(doorcloses)
Whatareyouslammingthedoorfor?
Hedoesn'tsoundthatbad.
Issomethingthematter?You'vegot
afunnylookonyourface.AreyouOK?
Andrew,kissme.
128/185
9/18/2016
(Andrewgasps)
Whatareyoudoing?
Iwanttomakelovetoyou.
Adrian,what'sthematterwithyou?
Adrian,stop!Adrian!Adrian,stopthat!
Adrian,we'vegotguestsinthehouse.
Yeah,thatmakesitalittledangerous.
Adrian,stopit.Adrian!Thisis
thekitchentable!Whatareyoudoing?
Adrian!Icannothaveintercourse
whereweeatoatmeal.
129/185
9/18/2016
Iwantyourightnow!
Adrian,stopthis.You'recrazy.
Stopit!
Adrian,there'saforkunderme.
Oh,stopthat.
Look,Ibrokeanegg!
ThisislikeaFlemishpainting.
Getthosepantsoff!
Ssh,quiet!
130/185
9/18/2016
There'samaninthenextroomsinging
theLord'sPrayer.We'llgoblind!
Adrian!Adrian,I'montheburner.
Kissme.
(Leopold)Leadusnotintotemptation
Butdeliverusfromevil
ForthineistheKingdom
(moaning)
Whatareyoudoing?
Don'tstop.
(Adrianpants)
131/185
9/18/2016
Isuddenlyfeelpanicky.
Youcan'tstopnow.
I'mpastthepointofnoreturn.
Ifeelalotoffear
inthebottomofmystomach.
Yeah,butyou'regonna
havetopackmeinice.
Ican't.It'sdisgusting.
Howcanitbe?
Idon'thavemyclothesoffyet.
I'msorry,Andrew.
Ireallywantedto.Youknowthat.
132/185
9/18/2016
Ijust...suddenly...
Ibecameawareofmyself,oftheothers.
Icouldfeelmyheartbeating.
Youdon'tfeelitformeanymore.Faceit.
Oh,look.
MaybeIdon't.Idon'tknowwhatIfeel.
Iknowonething.
Ican'tgoonlikethisanymore.
(Leopold)Whataboutthespiritworld,
Andrew?We'reallwaiting.
133/185
9/18/2016
(Andrew)OK,everyone,Ican't
guaranteethisthingisgonnawork.
You'reamanofscience.
Whatareyourviewsonanunseenworld?
Idon'tbelieveinghosts,
thoughIalmostbecameonebefore.
Ibelieveinscienceandsex.
Notlove?
Yes.Loveatfirstsight.
Cantherebelovewithoutsex?
Ithinkthetwocanbetotallydifferent.
How?
Sexalleviatestensionandlovecausesit.
134/185
9/18/2016
Thinkaboutthatforaminute.
OK,joinhands,everyone.Everyone,
justholdyourhand.Everyone,relax.
I'mdealingherewithectoplasm
andanimalmagnetism.
Everyone,concentrateontheball
andmakeyourmindablank.
Canwelookatit?
Youcanlookatit,yeah.
OK,relax.Please,takethisseriously.
Keepconcentrating.
135/185
9/18/2016
Justrelax.
Concentrate.
Concentrate.
Justrelax.
(tinkling)
Lookatthat!Look,isn'tthatfantastic?
(Dulcy)Oh,it'swonderful.
It'sworking!
Wewentswimmingthere.
136/185
9/18/2016
It'sthebrook.
(Ariel)It'saperson.Someman.
(Adrian)It'sAndrew!No,it'sMaxwell.
It'sAndrew.It'sneitherofthem.
(Ariel)He'swaiting.
(Adrian)Forwho?
(Dulcy)Awoman.
He'salone.Shenevercame.
(Andrew)Isthislookingintothepast?
(Leopold)It'sanopticalillusion.
There'ssomeoneinadress.
They'rejusttalking.
137/185
9/18/2016
Whydoesn'thekissher?
Iknowhewantsto.
Iwonderwhyhedoesn't.
He'stootimid.
Shereallywantshimto.
(Ariel)Shedoeswanthimto.
Youcansee.She'sstrainingtoo.
(Adrian)Buthejustisn't.
(Maxwell)He'smissinghischance.
(Adrian)It'ssosad.
(Dulcy)Isn'tittrue,thebest
opportunitiesonlyhappenonce?
138/185
9/18/2016
Careful,Andrew.
Yougotsomethingtopouronit?
Takethatawayfromthere.
Thehouse'llburndown.
You'vereallyinventedsomething.
Yeah,butwhat?
Giveittime.It'lldiedown.
Ihopeso.Ican'tseemtoputitout.
There,yousee?Thatexplainsit.
Movementisnomiracle.
Theretinaretainsanimagefor/th
ofasecond,flickeringlights...
Quiteexplainable.
Isit?
139/185
9/18/2016
Butwhatdidwesee?
Thepast,thepresent,thefuture?
Maybeitwasthespiritworld
andthoseweretwoghosts.
Therearenoghosts,
exceptinShakespeare.
Andmanyofthosearemorereal
thanmanypeoplethatIknow.
Comealong,Ariel.Timetogotobed.
Thankyou,everyone.Lovelydinner.
Thankyoufordinner.
140/185
9/18/2016
Marvellousdemonstration.
IthinkI'dbettergotobedtoo.
Adrian,dinnerwassuper.Thankyou.
Goodnight,Andrew.
Iwasalwaysscaredofghosts.
Andrew'sgoteverythingundercontrol.
(Andrew)Aren'tyoucomingtobed?
(Maxwell)I'mgonnastayupforawhile.
I'mnottired.
(Andrew)Really?You'rejustgonna...
(Maxwell)Getalittleair.
(Andrew)Nokidding.
141/185
9/18/2016
Alittle.It'ssuchaprettynight.
Oh.Where'sDulcy?
She'sexhausted.
Uhhuh.
It'sfunny,Maxwell.Youdon'tseem
asdepressednowasyouwerebefore.
I'mnot.
No?
I'mmuchbetter.
Good.Iliketohearthat.
Howcome,Maxwell?
142/185
9/18/2016
Whydoyoufeelbetter?
Well,Iguessifmarriage
isthedeathofhope,
thenthenightbeforemarriage,
there'sstillhope.
Wheredoyouthink
you'regonnawalkatthishour?
Justaround,underthestars.
Youthinkmaybedownbythebrook?
Whyareyousoconcerned?Gotosleep.
I'mnotconcerned.
I'mgonnatakeawalk.
It'sgoodforthedigestion.
143/185
9/18/2016
MaybeIshouldwalkalongwithyou?
No,no,don'tbother.
Whynot?I'dliketo.Iliketodigest.
Iprefertobealone.
Yeah,butwhy?
Look,gotobed.
I'mgoingtomeetAriel.
Youare?
Yes.Bythebrookatmidnight.
Sincewhendidthathappen?
Ispoketoher.
She'sgonnameetyou?
Yes.
144/185
9/18/2016
Whatdidyoutellher?
ItoldherIlovedher.
ItoldhernottomarryLeopold.
Itoldhertomeetmetonight.
Andsheagreedtothis?
Andrew,IthinkIhaveachancewithher.
Youdo?
Yeah.
Igotanidea.I'llbringhertomeetyou.
No,yougotosleep.
No,I'mnottired.I'llbringher.Ma...Ma...
Wishmeluck.
145/185
9/18/2016
Goodluck.
Maxwell,I'mnottired.
(Leopold)Ariel?
Yes?Yes,Leopold?
(Leopold)Ariel...Doctor...
Andrew...sing...music...
(Leopoldmumbles)
Ariel!Ariel,overherebythetree.
Ariel,bythetree!
146/185
9/18/2016
Whyareyouhere?
I'mheretoseeAriel.
IsaidIwannabealonewithher.
It'snouse.I'minlovewithher.
What?!
Ican'tfightitanymore.
IsaidIthoughtyoulovedher.
Iknow.Don'tgetupset.
Youdeniedit.AndI'mnotupset.
She'sbeeninlovewithmealongtime.
Yousaiditwasplatonic.
Itwas.
Inevertouchedher,butIcouldhave.
Shewantedmetoyearsago.
147/185
9/18/2016
IsaidIthoughtyoulovedher!
WhatamIgonnatellAdrian?
Iaskedyoutohelpme.
Itriedtobringher.Itdidn'tworkout.
Weflew,welaughed.Itturnedromantic.
Didshetellyoushelovedyou?
She'slovedmesince
Itookhertoabaseballgame.
I'llkillyou!
Iknewyouwouldtakethisbadly.
YouknewhowmuchIcaredforher.
Nobodyplansthesethings.
148/185
9/18/2016
Theyjusthappen.
Yougottabealittlemature.
I'llshowyouwhatmatureis,
youbackstabbingrunt!
(Ariel)Hey,what'sgoingonhere?
Ariel,Iloveyou.
Youdo?
Yes.
She'snotbowledover.
Ican'tfightitanylonger.
Ariel,Iloveyoutoo.
Stopconfusingthings.
I'msurprised.
Whendidthisfeelingcomeoveryou?
149/185
9/18/2016
I'vehaditforalongtime.
Ijustdidn'tknowwhattodo.
He'shavingsome
domesticproblems,that'sall.
Don'tmarryLeopold.
She'snotgoingto.
Youcan'tdothat,youwon'tbehappy.
He'snottherightguyforyou.
Itoldyoushe'snotmarryinghim.
I'mtalkingtoher.
AndI'mtalkingtoyou.
ArielandIhadarendezvous.
150/185
9/18/2016
You'remarried,Andrew.
Themagichasgoneinthebedroom.
Howcanyourevealintimatesecrets?
Whatdoyoucare?
Ariel,westoodhereyearsago
andIfailedtoact.
He'llalwaysfailtoact.
He'saprocrastinator.
Hetalksbigschemesanddoesnothing.
Don'tgetmeangry.
Iloveyou,Ariel.
Ijustneedtimetoshowyouhowmuch.
Onething'sforsure:
Ican'tmarryLeopold.
151/185
9/18/2016
No,youcan't.
AndIgottasaysomethingtoAdrian.
Listentohim!
Iwouldn'ttellAdriananything.
That'smybusiness,OK?
Wehaveasecondchance.
Let'snotmessitup.
It'snouse.Shemayhave
caredforyouonce,butthisisnow.
Ariel,Iloveyouand,inspiteof
allhisnauseatingbegging,Iwantyou.
152/185
9/18/2016
I'msorry,Maxwell.
Maxwell,yougottaunderstand.
Maxwell,I'myourbestfriend.Forgiveme.
Ishouldhavekilledmyself.
Don'ttalklikethat!
Onlyadrunkenidiotshoots
himselfoverlove.Notaninternist.
You'llforgetme.
No.
Youwill,we'llhelpyou.You'llcome
over.Wewon'tletyousitandbrood.
IfIcomeover,howamIgonna
153/185
9/18/2016
forgether?She'llbehere.
That'sapoint.Sodon'tcomeover.
Maxwell,weknoweachother
forsolong.Thiswasinevitable.
Maxwell,youknowIloveyou.
BetterAndrewthanLeopold.
Atleastyou'llhaveafewlaughs.
Whatareyougonnado?
I'llgoforawalk.I'llthrow
arockinthebrook.I'llgotosleep.
Don'tworry,I'mnot
154/185
9/18/2016
adrunkeninfantileidiot.
I'llgobackandI'llgetanaesthetised
withmeaninglesslovemaking.
Maxwell,Ididn'tmeanit.
Willhebeallright?I'mworried.
Whydoesithavetobesocomplicated?
Theguy'smybestfriend.
Ariel?
Ariel!
(Ariel)Rememberthistree?Westood
underitandlookedatthestars.
(Andrew)Theconstellationsare
155/185
9/18/2016
inthesameplace.There'sGemini.
(Ariel)Yeah,Iremember
youpointedthatouttome.
Webothhadwine,andyoushowed
meyourlatestinvention.
DidI?Oh,ofcourse!
Mymusicalhouseslippers,right?
Asyouwalked,theywouldplay
"MyOldKentuckyHome".Neversold.
Rememberwhatwetalkedabout?
Wetalkedaboutthebrook
andthestars...andyourdress.
156/185
9/18/2016
Youhadboughtanewdress.
Yes.Thisisit.Thisisthesamedress.
Itlooksmorebeautiful.
Youlookmorebeautiful.
Thankyou.
You'velostalittlehairfromthetop.
I'mworkingonahairrestorer.
Butyoustillhave
thatlittleboy'slook.Youdo.
(footsteps)
It'sonlyLeopold.There'snoneed
toworry.I'mnotaspirit.
157/185
9/18/2016
Icouldn'tsleep,soIcamedownstairs
toreadTheKatzenjammerKids.
TheKatzenjammerKids?
That'sextraordinary.
That'swhathappenedinthedream.
Whatdream?
Justnow,beforeIawoke.
Iwasdreamingthis.
Me?
Preciselythis.That'sincredible.
158/185
9/18/2016
Wewerealoneandyouwerelying
acrossthesofa,andyouwerereading.
Iaskedyouwhat,andyousaid
"TheKatzenjammerKids".
AndIthoughtitwasfunny.
Andthenyourrobefellopenslightly.
Onlyslightly,thewayitisnow,
andIwastakenwith
agreateroticfervour.
Andalltheterriblethoughts
ofmywholelife,
thatI'dbeenafraidtounleash,
159/185
9/18/2016
pouredforth.
HowdidIreact?
Youpressedyourlipstomine...
Andthenthescenechanged,andwe
weretwosavagesinthewilderness.
Itwasaprehistoricera.
IwasaNeanderthal,hunting
myenemieswithprimitiveweapons,
andlovingyouuninhibitedly.
160/185
9/18/2016
Jesus.Whatdidyoueat
beforeyouwenttobed?
Whatareyoudoinghere?
Icouldn'tsleep.
Ididn'twanttoreadaloneintheroom.
Allthatghosttalkmakesmenervous.
Alone?Whyalone?
Maxwell'soffwalking.
Heis?
Yeah.
So'sAriel.Sheslipped
outofbedafterIfellasleep.
Youdon'tthinkthatthey...
Iwillnotplaythecuckoldforthatgoat.
161/185
9/18/2016
Relax!YoumustlearntotrustAriel
ifyou'regonnamarryher.
Itrustnoone.Icanfeelit.They'relooking
intoeachother'seyesorholdinghands.
Icanjustenvisionhisclumsygeneral
practitioner'sattemptstokissher.
Orworse.Worse!Anditis
nowofficiallyourweddingday.
OK,youcanrelaxnow,
costhere'sMaxwellandhe'salone.
He'srightthere.
Butwhere'sAriel?
162/185
9/18/2016
(tinkling)
Thoseshadows...
That'sAriel'sdress.HerFrenchfrock.
ButifMaxwellishere...
Thoseeyeglasses...That'sAndrew!
(Dulcy)Leopold.
(Leopold)AndrewandAriel.
Deceivedbythatthirdrateinventor.
I'llkillhim.
Leopold!
163/185
9/18/2016
Leopold,comeback!Leopold!
Maxwell,gogetLeopold!
Leopold'sgonetokillAndrew.
What?
Was...wasitacompletely
horribleexperience,Ariel?
No.AtleastIdidn't...
Atleastwebulledourwaythoughit.
Yeah.Great.That'sexactlywhatitwas.
Thefrogskeptcroaking.
Iknow,Iknow.Igotaheadache.
164/185
9/18/2016
Yeah,butitwasn't
whatIthoughtitwouldbe.
Didyoufeelitwas?
No.
Ithinkit'strue.
Youreallydolearnanawfullot
aboutyourselfthroughlovemaking.
It'squiteincredible.
It'ssostrange.
Yearsagowhenwewerehere,
thatkindofstuffneverbotheredme.
Iknow.Ithinkifwehadmadelovethat
veryfirstnightwhenwehadthechance,
165/185
9/18/2016
weneverwouldhavedreamed
thattheoutsideworldevenexisted.
Boy,timepasses.
Beforeyouknowit,alittlehairfallsout,
alittlenoisebecomesbothersome...
Iguesswejust...wechange.
Webecomedifferentpeople.
Ahhah,youlittlevermin!
Leopold!
Preparetodie!
166/185
9/18/2016
Leopold,don'tshoot!
Hah!
Leopold,you'reamanofreason.
You'reapacifist.
You'reananimal.
Stopit,Leopold!Comeback!
Leopold!Leopold!
Andrew!
Holdstill,youmiserableworm!
167/185
9/18/2016
Leopold,Icanexp...
Really?
Aaagh!
Blood.
I'vedrawnblood.
WhoamI?
(Andrew)Maxwell!Maxwell!
No.I'mbadlyhit.I'mdying.
168/185
9/18/2016
Oh,Jesus.Help!Help!
It'snouse,Andrew.I'mfinished.
Don'tsaythat.Help!
I'madoctor.IknowwhereI'vebeenhit.
(Leopold)Blood.Blood!
I'vedrawnbloodandIrelishedit!
(Dulcy)Leopold,what'sgottenintoyou?
I'vereturnedfromthehunt.
(Dulcy)What'sanintellectualgeniuslike
youwantwithasimplenurselikeme?
169/185
9/18/2016
(clothesripping)
Maxwell,forwhatit'sworthtoyou,
Idon'tthinkthemagicisthere
betweenArielandmyselfanymore.
Ifit'sanyincentiveforyoutopullthrough,
Ithinkyougotachancewithher.
Ican'tbreathe.I'mdying.
Takeiteasy.
Ihaveaconfessiontomake.
Iwantmysoul,ifitexists,tobeclean.
Don'ttalklikethat.
Wewon'tletyoudie.
170/185
9/18/2016
Isleptwithyourwife.
Pardonme?
IdiditwithAdrian.
Whatdidyousay?
Bythebrook,onenightlastsummer.
Whatareyoutalkingabout?
Theimagesfromthespiritbox.
Didn'tyourecogniseus?Adrianandme.
Didn'tyounotice?Itwasherdress.
Howcouldyou?!
Themomentwasperfect.Iseizedit.
Youonlyliveonce.
Butyou'remybestfriend.
171/185
9/18/2016
Iapologise.
Idon'tacceptit.
Oh,no.Oh,myGod.
It'snothingserious.
Justanarrowinhisheart.
He'sstillbreathing.Whereareyougoing?
Wehavetohelphim.
(Dulcy)Leopold.Biteme...hard.Harder!
(Leopold)Ican't.Thesearenotmyteeth.
(Adrian)Hello!
172/185
9/18/2016
Andrew?Isawalight.
SoyousleptwithMaxwell?
Me?Why?
Why?Coshetoldmeyoudid.
Howcouldhe?
Coshethinkshe'sdying,which
he'sprobablynot,unfortunately.
Idon'tknowwhattotellyou.It'strue.
Wewerealonebythebrook.
Youweren'tpayinganyattentiontome.
173/185
9/18/2016
Youwereobsessedwithyourinventions.
Itwasaperfect,moonlit,summernight.
Heputhishandsonmybreasts
andmybloodjuststartedtoboil.
Andafterwards,I'veneverbeen
abletoridmyselfoftheguilt.
Butyouenjoyedit?
Oh,yeah,definitely.Itwashot.
Ohhh!
Howcouldyou?
That'sexactlywhenallthetrouble
174/185
9/18/2016
beganbetweenthetwoofus.
Iwillmakeituptoyou,Andrew.
Nowthatyouknowthis,Ifeel...
Ifeelreallyrelieved.
Thisislikeaweightisoffmyback.
I'vebeencarryingaround
aterriblesecret.
Don'tlietome.
No,Andrew.Isweartoyou.
Thisislikeacursehasbeenlifted.
Ihateyou.
Youloveme.
175/185
9/18/2016
No.IloveAriel.
IalwayslovedAriel.
No,that'snottrue.
Andrew,makelovetome.
Adrian,don'tmixmeup.
Imeanit.Infact,letmehandleit.
No,I'mfuriouswithyou.
Ireallymeanitthistime.
No,Adrian.Stop.
Andrew,you'regonnalikethis.
Stop,I'vehadaveryroughnight.
176/185
9/18/2016
Excuseme.
Adrian,stop.Whatareyoudoing?
Andrew,Ipromiseyou,
thisisagoodidea.
Adrian,whatisthiswithtabletops?
I'monaloadedpistol!
Itfeelsmuchbetter.
Doesit?
Ican'tbelieveIdidthis.
Thesightofbloodterrifiesme.
Iloveyou.
You'restillwounded.
177/185
9/18/2016
Ineedtimetobewithyou,toprove
toyouthatyoucanbehappywithme.
I'msuchafrivolousperson.First
IthoughtIlovedLeopold,thenAndrew...
ButyouneverlovedLeopold,andAndrew
wasjustadreamoutofthepast.
I,however,amthemanofthemoment.
We'regonnaseizethismoment
andkeepitforever.
Ihavetoadmitthatwhenwefirstmet,
andyourecognisedmyperfume,
178/185
9/18/2016
yousmelledit,
Ididfeelalittleweakattheknees.
Iknow.Youwerescared
andattractedtomeallday.
We'retwoofakind.We'rebothflirts,
butourflirtingdaysareallover.
Aagh!
Careful.Justeasy.
Me,aconfirmedbachelor,
struckdownbyCupid'sarrow.
Unfortunately,itwasshotbyLeopold.
Yousaidyoubelieved
inloveatfirstsight.
179/185
9/18/2016
It'sallinthesmell,
andyousmellwonderful.
Oh,Adrian,I'mstillspinning.
Thatwasadeeplyreligious
experienceonthattabletop.
It'sonlythebeginning.
Waittilleveryone'sgone,
I'llshowyouwhatDulcy
callsaMexicanCartwheel.
Really?Thatsoundsincrediblyfilthy.
Itis!
180/185
9/18/2016
Good.Ican'twait.
Socanyouforgiveme?
Forgiveyou?Icanordainyou.You've
clearedmysinusesforthesummer.
AndMaxwelltoo?
Yes.
ThewayIfeeltonight,Icouldhealpeople.
Oh!WhatishedoingwithAriel?
Doingwell,Ithink.
Really?WhataboutLeopold?
(screaming)
181/185
9/18/2016
Help!Comequickly!Leopold'sdead.
(screams)
Help!Help!Comequickly!
Oh,myGod!
Whathappenedtohim?
Maxwell,what'swrongwithhim?
Weweremakinglove...
Hewaslikeananimal.
Hetoreoffmyrobe.
Hewaswonderful.Wedidit
allviolently,liketwosavages.
182/185
9/18/2016
Hewasscreamingwithpleasure,
andatthehighestmomentofecstasy,
hejustkeeledover
withthatsmileonhisface.
PoorLeopold.
I'msorry,Ariel.
(tinkling)
(Leopold)Don'tfeel
sorryforme,Maxwell.
Mysoulhasmerelypassed
intoadifferentdimension.
Ifeelmyselffloating,liberated.
183/185
9/18/2016
Iam,atlonglast,pureessence.
Leopold?Isthatreallyyou?
Ofcourseit'sme,Ariel.
AndIammostdelightedtosay
thatAndrewandAdrianwereright.
Thesewoodsareenchanted,
filledwiththespiritsof
theluckymenandwomenofpassion
whohavepassedaway
attheheightoflovemaking.
Promiseme,allofyou,
184/185
9/18/2016
tolookformyglowingpresence
onstarlitevenings,inthesewoods,
underthesummermoon...forever.
Look!
Leopold!
That'sincredible.
SpecialhelpbySergeiK
185/185

Midsummer Night's Sex Comedy Script - Transcript From The Screenplay and - or Woody Allen Movie

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