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Students today can easily access information online, so libraries are no longer necessary.

Do
you agree or disagree?
Stepping into the 21st century, the Internet has set its foot in almost every walk of life and education
is not beyond its scope of influence, with many people maintaining that today students no longer
depend on libraries for their information acquisition. Although it cannot be denied the calibre/

Comment [1]: tip cn tri thc cn t no k

importance of the Internet, I do believe that libraries also has an important IRREPLACEABLE role to

Comment [2]: ad ui calibre c phi ngha l


tm quan trong hng , dng ging importance
c k

play in this day and age Ko cn t ny, nhiu ng ght t ny.

On the one hand, it goes without saying that modern students can very well have an access to the
pool of knowledge at the click of the button. In the past, doing research used to require/ entail a very
laborious process of finding better : searching for// seeking necessary information on such traditional
sources as newspapers or books; however, today students can easily approach desired/desirable
information with just one click of a mouse This is quite repeated , try to better clarify = 1 click on google

Comment [3]: ad ui v d mem mn ni l


libraries kiu n vn "gi nguyn v th quan
trng ca mnh" ad, mem ni nh no by gi

Comment [4]: with one click of a mouse c


hng ?, kiu vi 1 cht click cht ad hix
Comment [5]: ok
Comment [6]: thay t ny bng traditionally
c k , kiu trong qu kh

= millions of results pop up in ones naked eyes + from very old to very new developments.

Comment [7]: ad i cn t no paraphrase


cho find na k

Besides, the Internet also helps students to access information from different angles, ranging from

Comment [8]: desired ny dng thay cho


necessary c k

official sources to personal opinions. For example, without online information on the War World II
from various sources repeated clarify it : from wikileaks + bbc and so on, chances are research
students will end up blindly believing in what their textbook says rather than finding out hidden truths

Comment [9]: ad ui ngoai resources ch t


ny cn t no th na k ?

related to this historical event.

On the other hand, just because the Internet is undeniably critical to information access does not mean the
importance of libraries should be overlooked nice transition. Firstly, students are bound to obtain
orthodox and censored knowledge from libraries, whereas news on the Internet is of mixed quality
given that anyone can publish news without any censorship. As a dire consequence, false source of

Comment [10]: mem l tp nham ad, dng


cm ny c hum

information may even give rise to students mistaken attitudes towards their research issuessao li
i ph nh pha trn th, libraries = more reliable = books are examined carefully before being
available to the public (author/contents) chng hn . Secondly, there are such information sources
as trade magazines, trade journals or professional newspaper which are in fact limited on the
Internet, just as there seems to be no way to find first-class thesises THESES or dissertations via
the Internet. However, these valuable resources are diversified in libraries.

Comment [11]: hix thesis m s nhiu c ad


vy l ng i ng k

All things considered, I once again reaffirm that while the Internet has been increasingly of great
importance to students knowledge approach, libraries are equally significant, especially in the field
of scientific research among learners.

Comment [12]: dng ny c k

Task response: 7

Coherence and cohesion: 6

unclear at many places

(the flow is lost in main point1 body 2)

Lexical resource: 8
Grammatical range and accuracy: 8
~7,0

BI 19

My bi m na qu kh, na tng lai ny mnh chia th g vy a ? chia thnh 2 bodies, body


qua khu , bd 2 tuong lai
Given is the line graph comparing four separate countries in terms of the population proportion
in urban areas since 1970s= OVER 5 DECADES STARTING FROM 1970S, with the
expectation/EXPECTED PERCENTAGES to 2030. Overall, it is evident that the figures for all

Comment [13]: hix vik li y chan ci lun n


ad ui, ad paraphrase h mem vi

the surveyed countries follows SHOW/DEMONSTRATE/DISPLAY/EXHIBIT an upward


trend,with a gradual levelling-off during the last FINAL years of the period.>> ci trend u phi
all countries level off u nh, n tng m
A more detailed look at the provided graph reveals that the USA population rate dominates the
chart during the period shown, standing/STARTING at 70% in 1970 and then increasing steadily
to nearly 90% in the first year of the 21st century. From then on, the projection is for this figure
to flatten out at this point until the year 2030. It is also interesting to note that this ending point of
the USA is expected to be precisely the same as that of Korea in 2030 although at the outset,
the proportion of population in Korean cities was only 40%, nearly a half of the USA figure.
Moving onto the other countries, as can be clearly seen that the figures for BOTH China and
India began at precisely 20% for each and these rates remained unchanged till the year 1990
for Chinese data IN/FOR CHINA and till 1980 for Indian INDIA. Since then, however, the trend
towards THE two countries population percentages is cu lng cng each demonstrated a
relative different trend in population changes relatively different. While China experienced a
sudden rocket to 60% in 2010 before being forecasted to rise slowly to 68% in 2030, the figure
for India goes up steadily, ranging from 30% in 1985 to 38% at the end of the period.

Comment [15]: ad ui nhng nm cui ca giai


on dng ny c k ?

Comment [16]: ad ui kiu mem mn ni l bt


u bng 70% , dng t g h ad ui

Comment [17]: nc m l The usa hay usa


thui
Comment [18]: c THE , uk cng nn dng
the UK
Comment [19]: dng zy ng k
Comment [20]: l cho mi dy m k bik ni
sao
Comment [21]: for c k ta ?
Comment [22]: k bik chia th lun
Comment [23]: chia th g h
Comment [24]: l cui giai on ad, c
m k bik ng k na

Task achievement: 5/ 6 if you write bad overview , it cant reach 7

Coherence and cohesion: 6/ 7


to reach 7 ,
Lexical resource: 7
Grammatical range and accuracy: 7
~6-6,5

Comment [14]: khng bik chia th ng hay


sai lun :(

i think it is logical enough

Chia thnh 2 giai on nh di trnh repeat words , v m t slieu theo cng categories