Coming into this class without a direct passion for a career in theatre, I

didn't hope to spontaneously find my calling in directing or acting. Instead, I

hoped to draw from the experiences and insights from leaders in different
disciplines. A director is arguably the leader and manager of any stage
production. Taking on the role of a director, even for a short while, was a
difficult task in unexpected ways.
Prior to delving into brainstorming for a scene or running through lines,
I had believed my personal challenge as a director would be lack of
creativity. I feared that I would lack innovation and merely follow the text,
that is, there would be the absence of unique interpretation. However, to my
surprise, what I found most difficult leaned toward the managerial tasks of
directing. When the time came to pick scenes, I was timid. I thoroughly
enjoyed reading the play Mud for its drama, intensity and emotion but I
lacked the courage to pick a scene with these elements that I found so
interesting in the first place. I regret that I didnt pick a scene that I was more
passionate about, in fear that I would force someone out of their comfort
zone into the ridiculousness that is Lloyd, Henry and Mae. I didnt know how
to approach asking my peers to be embarrassed and to approach supervising
them through that embarrassment. There was a lesson here: leadership and
managers of all disciplines must be able to push their team and guide them
out of their own personal boundaries if it calls for it.
Another facet of directing that I had a hard time with was promoting
shared responsibility. This means convincing the actors to have a personal
investment in their characters and roles. In the first and second run through

of the scene, there wasnt much personal commitment coming from the
actors. Looking back, I take responsibility for that fact. As the director, I
didnt consistently check up on the actors to see if they knew their cues and
lines. However, I found my strength in communication. I could assertively
voice how I envisioned my actors to look, speak and move but I had reasons
and anecdotes for every one of my directions. Also, I asked for ideas to cocreate a vision because I could admit that the scene that I visualized in my
head was not perfect or the best. I encouraged critique from my actors and
facilitated conversations where they could explain and defend their ideas. A
foundation for creative dialogue encourages thinking and fruitful
improvements to the directing of the scene. Researching the play and
thinking through design aspects made me realize that all of this information
creates a ripple effect of burgeoning ideasthat the research is integrated
into the directors vision. It may be explicit or implicit. I see that the opinions
of the actors and members of the production team is very much like
research. Even if it is not used, it is somehow considered and incorporated.
Watching the final scenes solidified the importance of a directors
innovation. The innovation relates to a different take of expressing themes,
emotions and motivations. I realized that the director is the primary factor
that differentiates stage productions of the same play. The same Mud scene
in class was delivered in drastically different ways. Directors can make their
work and style a brand in the sense that they have a signature touch to
create a product that cannot be replicated by anyone else. Developing a
signature touch takes work and it doesnt come spontaneously or inherently.

Some people are innately drawn to the arts. However, genius in directing is
definitely a skill to be learned, practiced and honed as much as possible.
Directorial success is determined by leadership in many ways: leadership of
generating a vision but also leadership in managing the process and
production of that innovation. I entered the class thinking, narrowly and
naively that people just had a talent and knack for theatre. As in some were
born to exclusively act and others were born to exclusively direct. My
experience on both sides as an actor and director for scenes showed me
there is no barrier of entry to either sides. It is merely that people prefer to
pursue one role to the other. Also having experience on both sides gives
greater insight as an actor and a director. This class has educated me on
what it takes to be a director, not through text books and lectures but
through experience, trial and error, and discussion. By simply having a taste
of what it is like to take on the job of a director, I have a deeper
understanding of theatre and not just the product of what the audience sees
but the process that starts and ends at the hands of the director.