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Gradualism: Testimony of Marina

For precept must be upon precept, precept upon

precept, line upon line, line upon line, here a little,
there a little (Isaiah 28:10).

Gradualism is moving toward a desired end through

small steps or degrees, often over a long period of
time. Gradualism is closely related to the learning
curve experience. The more teachable and humble
you are the faster you come to the functional
knowledge of the truth. It has taken me many years
to be of use in the kingdom of God. Time was not
the decisive factor but the rate at which my heart
has changed. What I am experiencing today after
many decades of serving the Lord, I could have had
within three years if I were more teachable and
humble of spirit. Gradualism is not a function of
time but of how teachable and flexible to change
you are.

I know somebody that came to the Lord just over

five years ago that do not know the Bible nearly as
good as I do but the depth of this person’s
relationship with God and the resulting wisdom that
flows from her mouth is astonishing. I speak
frequently with her to learn the meaning of
knowing the Lord, love, faith, hope and to live a
simple life of childlike faith in God. When she opens
her mouth you experience the Lord. I prophesied to
her on New Year’s Eve, according to the revelation
of the Holy Spirit I have received, that the year
2010 will be a season of rapid spiritual growth for
her. It is now June 2010 and the Lord has already
changed her more than I can express in words. The

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rate at which the small gradual steps of change
take place depends on how teachable and flexible
to change you are. To illustrate that the steps of
change can almost take place at the speed of light I
will use the real life testimony of Marina.

Testimony of Marina

I lived in Dnepropetrovsk, a large city in Ukraine. I

got divorced because my ex-husband was
perpetually unfaithful to me. I had no material need
because he is wealthy. Besides the pain of betrayal,
I had also experienced a great emptiness inside of
me.

For exercise, I ran between 6 and 12 kilometers

most days of the week. During my running sessions
I began to tell God how unhappy I was and that
there must be much more to life then what I was
experiencing. At the time I knew there was a God
but I did not know Him. Then I got divorced.

After my divorce I thought I was alone in this world

with my problems and my pain. I only had my son. I
left my husband everything because his heart was
like stone and material wealth was important to
him.

I started to look for somebody else to love me. I

carried so much pain in me that I needed love
desperately. I went to my sister, Inna, who is a
born-again believer. She started to lead me to the
Lord. Though I could not understand the love of
God at first she planted good seed in the fertile soil
of my heart. Then it become clear to me that only
God could give me love and joy and fulfill all my
need and take away my pain. This mindset was the
basis for my decision to leave my ex-husband all
our earthly assets. I was busy to come to know
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God. Then I got baptized in the death and
resurrection of Jesus.

I got married on 25 February 2005 to a godly man

and we settled in South Africa. Then I remembered
two or three dreams I had where I have seen myself
in another country speaking English. Then I knew
this was all in the plan of God for my life.

In South Africa is a man of God who gave me sound

Bible teaching and constantly directed me to
search out the Scriptures for myself. He did not
wish to make me dependant on him, but beseech
me to turn to Jesus. I did not start reading the Bible
immediately as I perceived it too complicated. I
developed a need to understand more of God and
to live with humility in His kingdom through faith,
hope and love. I started to understand much more
of God as the man of God was teaching me the
Bible.

It was May 2007 that I felt that I was ready to start

reading the Bible for myself. It was an exciting
jaunt through the lives of the ancient people of the
Bible. In spite of being busy seven days a week in
my business it took me four months to read
through the Bible for the first time. Then I started to
read it again and have never stopped ever since.
Initially, the things that live for me in Scripture
were the parallels that exist between our present
life and that of the people of the Bible. I discovered
that nothing has changed; only the times moved
on. The faith of Abraham living most of his life in
a dry desert and the patience of Moses in the
midst of the rebellious house of Israel left a
permanent mark on my life. Abraham kept the
focus of his faith on God while seeking for a city
whose architect and builder was God while being on
his journey, probably losing livestock and some
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servants in the infertile and parched deserts that
he travelled. Moses persevered in patience,
keeping the faith, in the midst of an obstinate
people that often seek to kill him.

The Bible is not about the past but about the

present. Initially I started to compare our lives with
those people of the Bible. The things that touched
me were various divine virtues of some faith
heroes.

One day the man of God asked me what the secret

of my rapid divine transformation was. What was
the secret behind my speedy radical change by just
praying and reading and meditating on Scripture
while others that do the same, change at a much
slower pace and many do not change. I told him
that I take every scripture in the Bible personal. I
see myself in the people of the Bible, especially the
obstinate Israelites under Moses during their stay in
the desert. I apply the word of God to my own
heart. If I do not persevere in patience but in
rebellion and arrogance my end will be the same as
those who died in the wilderness. I can only come
into what God has for me if I am of a different spirit,
persevering in faith like Joshua and Caleb. Those
people were fierce in their faith yet humble before
God and man. I desire the same quality of faith and
humility that they had. So, I am constantly praying
God to be like these faith heroes and through
unyielding faith pursue their way. As long as I am
bold in faith as they were, I will inherit the same. If I
choose the path of life above death the Holy Spirit
will lead me in that way.

I know if I want a good life from God I need to come

to Him that I may change. If I will not come to Him I
will live a rebellious life in the desert of my fleshly
heart and in my suffering I may strive with God. If I
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am not obedient to God, I relate to Him with my
flesh and not with my spirit. You ask and do not
receive, because you ask amiss, that you may
spend it on your pleasures (James 4:3). The path of
live is recorded many, many times over in the
Bible. If I do not receive the Bread of Life everyday
how will I live?

I have decided to choose life over death that God

may bless me as I pursue His will. When I entered
into God’s rest through faith I entered into the
Promised Land. His word says, He will give me
cities which I did not build, houses full of good
things, which I did not fill, hewn-out wells which I
did not dig, vineyards and olives trees which I did
not plant (Deuteronomy 6:10-11). I have chosen to
believe Him. This is more than just words for has
the Lord not given me already two businesses, a
roof over my head, food on the table and vehicles
for transport.

The Church in the West, need to get away from

their erroneous prosperity doctrine and learn how
to persevere in trusting the Lord in all humility.
Sowing a seed is not a business transaction or a
moneymaking scheme but an action of faith,
birthed out of love for Christ. God does only
respond toward you when you persevere in faith,
hope and love like a farmer who prepares the soil,
plant the seed, nurture the crops and then only
harvest the increase. It is man through faith that
plants and waters the seed but God gives the
increase. When man gives His heart to God and
diligently persevere in prayer and intercession, and
meditation on the word of God, God gives both
spiritual and material increase. Before you give
your money away to some preacher examine your
heart. First give all of your heart and life to God. I

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do not say you must not sow into the kingdom of
God; I say do it God’s way.

Flesh do not want to wait, therefore it tests God

and murmur against Him. Flesh wants to see
instant answers. God is purifying my life by testing
me as I persevere patiently in the work of my faith,
labor of love and patience of hope in the Lord Jesus
Christ. I cannot understand God’s love if I have no
patience to wait in expectation until I receive what
He has promised. That is why some harvests are
scourged by the sun of impatience and it dies. I
need to care for the seed I sowed through faith,
hope and love. My walk today is the seed for
tomorrow’s harvest.

If people understand the ways of God as recorded

in the Bible and believe it, they will change.
However, some people look but do not see, listen
but do not hear and do not understand godly
matters. If I divorce myself from the word and I do
not identify with the fact that God is speaking to
me personally, how illogically it may sound I fail to
see God – that was a chance forgone by which I
could have changed. This is the subtleness of an
arrogant fleshly heart. Unless I truly humble and
accept all things, good and bad, as from God I will
not change. I cannot divorce myself from the word
and think I am going to change. When I think this
word is not for me but for so and so, I miss God. For
indeed the gospel was preached to us as well as to
them; but the word which they heard did not profit
them, not being mixed with faith in those who
heard it (Hebrews 4:2). Faith is not to agree or
disagree with a concept but is living works. Was not
Abraham our father justified by works when he
offered Isaac his son on the altar? Do you see that
faith was working together with his works, and by
works faith was made perfect? (James 2:21-22).
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In spite that I sometimes not seeing or
understanding things, I have chosen to believe God.
In this way I take up the cross of Christ that I may
live. I am entreating the Lord everyday to show me
His love and to give me the grace to love Him just
as much as He loves me. How can I persevere in
faith, hope and patience if I am not compelled by
love for Him? How can I believe if my focus is not
on Him? I can only have a pure focus on Christ if my
life is fueled by love for Him. How poor will I be if I
do not have a deep and intimate prayer life?

When I came to Christ, I have still experienced the

deep pain of my suffering and I knew I was in need
for His blessing to make me whole and prosperous.
I pray daily to God to show me the answers of life in
the Bible. If I do not ask I know I will not receive.
After I have prayed I meditating carefully on the
word of life. If I do not meditate on the word I will
only receive the word in shallow ground of my heart
and I will easily forget the word. When I meditate
sufficiently on the Word of God (Jesus), I receive
seed in the deep fertile soil of my heart and then I
remember the Lord. Then I stay with the word, by
praying it through and meditate more on it, until it
brings forth joyful change in my life.

I know I need to hunger and thirst after God before

I will receive. My desires must not be after the
dictates of my flesh but according to the will of
God. If God answer me after my soulish and selfish
desires I will forget God easily because the fleshly
life is a shallow life. I am honest with God. I tell
God specifically what I need. Then I give God room
to decide what I need, how I need it and when I
need it. I do it by meditating on my need without
losing my focus on the Lord. Focusing on the Lord is
imperative to walk with Him. I do it in this way that
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when God provides for my need or the desire of my
heart that I remember Him.

The proving of my faith through fire, works patience

and endurance. If I get things easy I forget it easy. I
have in the past received things easily from the
Lord but I receive mostly the blessing through
perseverance in faith and patience that I may come
to the understanding of the wisdom of the love of
the Lord. If I do not love Him I cannot walk with
Him. The more I come into contact with His love the
deeper I walk with Him and the easier His yoke
become and the lighter His cross. Faith pleases
Him. My patience was not in vain and as my trust in
Him grows stronger I grow in the knowledge of His
love. I cannot trust Him deeply and manifest deep
faith if I do not love Him. This love comes from a
constant deep relationship with Him. Believe me
there is no deep relationship with the Lord unless it
is tested in the fire of perseverance in patience and
trust.

I cannot see myself without a living mirror. Both the

people in the Bible and those that come across my
path are my living mirrors. I will see those that walk
according to the flesh and I will discern some of
their undesirable manifestations in my own life. I do
not like those sins and I do not judge those people.
However, I am thankful to God that he shows me
how ugly it appears and then I use it as food for
repentance. In all of this I do not lose my focus on
the Lord and enter into a deadly legalistic
introspection. I know the Lord is not looking for
“fleshly perfection” but for faith. So-called “fleshly
perfection” does not move God, faith does. Without
faith it is impossible to please God. The difference
between legalism and faith in God is a matter of
where the attention of your focus is. If your focus is
on yourself or some formula to improve yourself, it
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is legalism. If you focus your attention on the Lord
to be changed by a revelation of His grace and the
help of the Holy Spirit it is faith.

When I see people manifesting the fruit of the Holy

Spirit I enjoy their kindness and love. I can sense if
it is from God. That which is from God I desire. I
have suffered too much in my live by the hand of
my own flesh and the flesh of other people. I will
repent by starting to confess the lack of God’s Spirit
in my life. I pray and plead everyday with God that
the fruit of His Spirit may be manifested in my life.
If I do not ask I will not receive. I will not exchange
this life with God for anything in the world.

Faith is manifested in living works. Then the King

will say to those on His right hand, “Come, you
blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared
for you from the foundation of the world: for I was
hungry and you gave Me food; I was thirsty and you
gave Me drink; I was a stranger and you took Me in;
I was naked and you clothed Me; I was sick and you
visited Me; I was in prison and you came to Me….
inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these
My brethren, you did it to Me” (Matthew 25:34-36,
40a). This is how I take the kingdom. When I talk
theory to people and it is not backed up by
authenticity of a walk with God people discern that
it is not weighty and solid. When I speak the word
that I walk before God and man, people discern the
reality of the Holy Spirit.

Change into the likeness of Christ is life, light and

truth. When I sense there is no growth in me I know
I am busy to die. Death is when my heart is not
with Christ. I will pray and God will not hear me for
my heart is not in harmony with His. I cannot
receive the goodness of the Lord if my heart is not
His. What type of relationship is that? For me to live
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is perpetual change into His likeness. I prepare my
heart everyday for the King. There is such a need
and desire in me to love, to give, to forgive, to
serve and to help. My enjoyment and reward is to
see the thankfulness when you love the needy; it is
more worth than silver and gold. I cannot
understand how people evaluate life’s success in
terms of dollars and power. A wrong focus hardens
the heart that it cannot see the Lord or hear His
word or understand His wisdom. When you put your
trust in riches and power you cannot receive God’s
word; you cannot see and receive the King of
heaven.

Shortly after my conversion I would pray saying,

“Lord I believe.” I said that not because I believed
God but because I wanted God to answer my
prayers. It did not work for me. I had to learn to
trust the Lord from deep inside my heart; that is
true faith.

I did not trust the Lord deeply all of a sudden. It

was developed in a perpetual and deep relationship
with Him and it is maintained and strengthened in
an unending intimate relationship with Him. In the
beginning my relationship with the Lord was not as
solid as now and I tended to panic in unbelief when
He did not answer my prayers swiftly. As I learned
to love and trust God in my relationship with Him I
learned to persevere in patience and faith. I know
as long as I am imperfect, in the dispensation of
God’s grace, He will test my faith and in doing so
shapes me more in to the image of His Son. O the
wisdom of God’s love often overwhelms my mind
and emotions!

I know if I believe God I will trust Him. I have

learned to persevere patiently in faith, like Job, lest
I sin with my mouth by uttering words in unbelief.
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The more I repent and walking transparent before
God and man the more I hear the Lord speaks to
me. He speaks to me in Scripture, hearing His voice
in my heart, dreams, visions, lives of people,
through nature and everything that is. Blessed are
the pure in heart, for they shall see God (Matthew
5:8). Repentance to me means to intensify my
focus on the Lord that I may remember Him lest I
sin against Him in unbelief. He is my highest joy.
When I am very close to Him I fear nothing, for
nothing can snatch me out of His hand or harm me
without His permission.

I need to love other people, to be a servant, to be

humble. I know what I am sowing I will reap. This is
my joy; it is all I need.

When I started to change, God started to bless me

in every area of my life. The Bible is the manual for
my life, even in my business. It reveals the Lord to
me and keeps me on the path of life. I belief if I
walk close enough with God I can walk on water. I
truly and honestly believe that one day I will walk
on water.

If I consider myself a disciple of Christ I deem it

essential to know His words. The first five books of
the New Testament are very, very important to me
because it contains the words and acts of Jesus as
well as His acts in the believers of the early New
Testament Church. To me the first five books of the
New Testament is the Pentateuch of the New
Testament and are as equally important to me as
the first five books of the Old Testament.

I must ask the Lord to reveal Himself to me. God

will not easily come to me without my permission. If
I hunger and thirst after Him, He will come to me
and reveals Himself to me in love. Rich people
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cannot buy His love or poor people cannot draw His
attention through the bitterness of their suffering
but He will pay attention to the faith of the humble,
regardless if they are rich or poor. I do not care for
money because the God of miracles cares for me; I
know He loves me and that is enough for me. I do
not care about tomorrow because I believe His
word. When I come to Him I know He already knows
my need. Therefore I pray very often many times a
day but my prayers are short and to the point yet
filled with emotion and love.

I had the following dream on June, 04, 2010: It was

dark. There was a ship on the sea. I was running on
the waters toward the beach. When I thought
about this miracle I stopped for a brief moment to
ponder why I am not sinking. When I stopped, I saw
people swimming in their clothes, battling in their
efforts to get to the beach and to the ship. They
wanted to get away from the water. After I saw the
people swimming, I started immediately to run
afresh. I thought if I will lose my momentum to run I
will sink. I did not want to sink and then to swim in
this water and darkness like all the others.

The dream means that a walk in the supernatural

realm of God’s Spirit (running on the water) is
maintained through the momentum of childlike
faith in God which is only sustained through a
vibrant intimate relationship with Him. The
laborious swimming of the others in their clothes
are those that need to trust God deeply that they
may know the resurrected Lord in His power.

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