Pastors Guide

Stress and Burnout

in
Christian Ministry

Dr Stanley Arumugam

Counselling & Community Psychologist

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 Foreword

25 May 2010

Copyright

Dr Stanley Arumugam
Counselling & Community Psychologist

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

1. Pastors at great risk

2. What is stress and burnout

3. Causes of burnout

4. Self care and coping

5. Recovering from burnout

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 CHAPTER ONE

PASTORS AT GREAT RISK

“Why have you brought this trouble on your servant?

What have I done to displease you that you put the burden of these people on me?
Moses speaking to the Lord in Numbers 11:11

Introduction

The call to ministry as a pastor is a wonderful blessed experience for many. Yet for other pastors
ministry is so demanding that many leave injured and disillusioned. Many pastors leaving the
ministry feel alone, hard done by and bitter at the end of this road and abandoned by their
congregants and by God. Yet others going through tough times and experiencing stress and
burnout take this time to reflect and rediscover the joy of serving God in the pastoral role and
make necessary adjustments in their ministry and lifestyle. I think those who can reflect and
rediscover the joy of serving God at the point of burnout are an exceptional breed who have deep
inner strength and in my experience few and far between.

All of us, irrespective of our vocational role will experience stress at some time or the other.
However some professions have been found to have a higher incidence of stress and burnout.
This is true for people-intensive roles such as psychologists, social workers, nurses, teachers,
police, doctors and pastors. In the case of pastors, it is more so the case because there are no
clear lines of demarcation in their job description. As St. Paul put it, “I become all things to all
men in order that some may be saved.”

Some International Statistics

Is stress and burnout a fad, something that psychologists have conjured up or is it a reality that is
an enemy of Christian workers? There are many research studies internationally showing that
stress and burnout is a reality amongst pastors and with devastating effect.

Here’s just a sample of research study findings. A study in the United States found that of 4,908
pastors in 27 Protestant denominations, 75 percent reported one or more periods of major stress
in their careers. Another survey of a major denomination found that three out of four pastors were
experiencing stress severe enough to cause depression, alienation, fear and anger. Other studies
show that large numbers of pastors are responding to these high levels of stress by leaving the
ministry. The South African situation reveals similar trends although not many research studies
have been conducted here.

MacDonald in a 1980 Gallup Poll reported that one-third of pastors surveyed seriously considered
leaving the ministry, citing the following reasons:

• inability to face the enormous diversity of responsibilities and activities;

• entering the ministry for the wrong reasons;
• resistance to change on the part of the local congregation;
• lack of support from spouses who wanted their own independence;
• lack of support from fellow ministers.

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20 Hazards in the Life of a Pastor

So what makes the pastors work so risky? H.B. London and Neil. B. Wiseman, two seasoned
pastors have identified 20 hazards which pastors need to be aware. I will share these briefly in
this section:

1. Walk on the water syndrome. The pastor is expected to be a superman, expected to do

the impossible and be all things to all people.
2. Divergent expectations. The expectations on a pastor are not only many but often
conflicting.
3. Disastrous personal problems. The personal problems of pastors if unattended impact
not only them but families and their ministry.
4. Church member migration. Congregants vote with their feet if they are unhappy.
5. Global TV and Technologically. The television church comes into most living rooms
today bringing a ‘super church’ expectation.
6. Distracted people. Getting people to church now is much more difficult as the
competition for time and attention is shared with a hundred other things.
7. Consumer mentality. We live in a supply and demand age where we can get everything
at convenience stores and at fast food outlets; church becomes one of the outlets for
spiritual commodity.
8. Decimated absolutes. There is no place for absolute truths; being a Christian is relative
and spirituality is a personal brand of comfortable motivational messages.
9. Money struggles. Maintaining churches are becoming more and more expensive. Many
small to medium size churches have to deal with the harsh reality of depreciating income.
10. Dysfunctional people. Churches attract dysfunctional people because this is where
they feel they will be accepted, loved and nurtured. This places an enormous demand on
the pastors
11. Pastoral defection. More and more pastors are going AWOL (away without leave) as
they become frustrated by the growing worldliness of the church and competing cultural
demands.
12. Sexual temptation and infidelity. The technological age brings sexual temptation into
an accessible space for pastors. Often the emotional and intimate nature of pastoral work
brings an added vulnerability to pastors; especially those that are not sensitive or trained
in understanding issues of boundaries.
13. Loneliness. The work of pastors can be lonely as they hold the intimate secrets, pains
and fears of people. Many pastors admit that they feel lonely, with few friends who they
can really trust; friends who really understand their work and hearts.
14. Leadership crises. People are looking foe men and women with integrity in the church
as they see secular leaders collapsing all around them.
15. Institutional baby sitting. Congregants that refuse to grow; who remain cynical critics
consume a lot of the pastor’s energy, demanding constant attention.
16. Self-saturated ministry. When the pastor becomes the centre of attention and
attraction, the presence and place of God is compromised.
17. Emerging evil in society. The postmodern environment for ministry is changing rapidly.
18. Lost church members. People professing to be Christians aren’t really so.
19. Disempowered ministry. The frustration of a pastor leading a church on his own
strength.
20. Clergy abusers. Most churches have wonderful and loving people who sincerely care
about their pastor. Sadly in some churches, there is a minority of antagonistic, cynical
and abusive people who seek to control the pastor

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Learning the Hard Way

Pastors that take seriously the hazards of ministry are better prepared and more effective in their
work. Jesus said that He would be sending us out as sheep among the wolves, but few are
actually aware of the erudition and deep sense of understanding that He had of the human mind
and human capability.

Surely ministry is not all doom and gloom. There are many examples of pastors that are thriving
in their ministry and are able to manage stress and avoid burnout. They are examples of
excellence and fruitfulness. Many of them didn’t get there without trial and lifestyle and ministry
changes. I believe that we need to learn from the lives of these pastors because Christ intended
for his yolk to be easy and his burden to be light.

The reality is that many pastors have sadly lost this deeper meaning and connection to divine
resources for many reasons. How can pastors rediscover their zone of anointing, where they are
in the place that God wants them to be; depending fully on the strength of God for their ministry
effectiveness? These are pastors who practice self care and have a biblically based approach to
ministry. We can learn from these positive examples as much as we learn from other pastors’
negative and painful experiences.

My research topic for my masters and doctoral studies was ‘stress and burnout amongst pastors’.
In my interviews with pastors in my study, many told me that they realised rather late that many of
the sacrifices they make for their calling are unnecessary and the demands made upon
themselves and their families have little to do with furthering God’s kingdom. Often these
demands come from misguided expectations of self and others.

As part of the research, I conducted stress management workshops with pastors. Many pastors
were grateful for the new learning and wished they had learned this in seminary and bible
colleges. “This knowledge could have prevented unnecessary pain.”

I am not saying that pastors through this knowledge will become immune from the attacks of the
enemy rather to consider that wisdom comes from hearing the Word of God and the counsel of
fellow believers. My friend who is a pastor and studied post graduate theology sadly laments that
‘they don’t teach such things in theological faculties (I know, I was there for round about 7 years)
and I think it worse for the guys in Bible colleges where they are under the notion that as long as
God is on their side, they themselves are superhuman / god?’

Stress and Burnout: A Question of Perspective

How we think about stress and burnout amongst pastors will determine the benefit we derive from
this resource. Key to transformation is our thinking. Our perceptions and beliefs are at the heart of
the stress and burnout experience. In my view there are three broad approaches to clergy stress
and burnout amongst pastors:

Denial: ‘in the world – but out of the world’

Denial is a destructive hazard. One of the big reasons pastors find it difficult to admit they are
stressed out relates to the spiritual nature of their work. Admitting stress and burnout is seen as a
weakness. This leads to the thinking that the pastor is not disciplined or spiritual enough to
manage the work that God has called him to. So they go on, working even harder, ignoring their
unhealthy lifestyles and their stress increases until they get to breaking point.

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Pastors are not immune from stress because they are called to do God’s work. Pastors get sick;
end up in hospital depressed, some take drugs to cope. Others enjoy good health, are strong in
mind and body and have a zest for life. This is not a super-spiritual happening. We are all mortal
creatures irrespective of our calling or as some pastors would like to believe, their ‘higher and
separate calling.’ Great men and women of God full of faith and devotion have been afflicted by
the stresses and strains of this life. There is reality for all of us.

Defeatist: ‘in the world – captive by the world’

So others might take the more somber part and resign themselves to the cares of the world. They
reason if we are mortal and will die someday then we have to live with and accept all the
negativity of the world. So they become powerless in the face of adversity in all dimensions;
physical, mental, emotional and spiritual.

Instead of taking charge of their lives, they adopt a fatalistic approach, “what will be – will be”.
This either leads to melancholy or depression where outlook to life is generally gloomy or it could
lead to a hedonistic lifestyle where we live for the day. In this mindset people are controlled by the
outer circumstances, referred to in psychology-speak as having an external locus of control. What
I do doesn’t really matter, so let me go with the flow.

Deliberate: ‘in the world – not of the world’

There has to be a third group. Not the middle, in-between group but I believe people that are
deliberate about their lives. These people and especially pastors are well aware and tested by the
strain of this mortal life. Like Job they know the meaning of suffering and that God is with them.
Like David they know the joys and anguish of a life fully lived in castles and caves. Like Solomon
they know that all their work, achievements, possessions, church growth and size of building is all
transient, yet they build, eat, live and love with an eternal perspective, committed to bringing glory
to God and not self aggrandizement.

These men and women are fully human, fully alive and know that they are citizens of two
kingdoms, there and now and in the not yet. They have learned over time that their stewardship
of their bodies brings glory to God after all we are living temples of a holy God. These pastors
know that they are not immune from the dangers of ministry and take practical and spiritual
measures to safeguard themselves and their loved ones. They have chosen to take a personally
responsible approach of self care, make necessary adjustments in their lives and enjoy the fruits
of their ministry.

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 CHAPTER TWO

UNDERSTANDING CLERGY STRESS AND BURNOUT

What is Stress?

Imagine that you have an elastic band in your hand. If it is not stretched, it is useless, limp and of
no value. But if you stretch it, you can hold things together. When there is some tension or
pressure being applied, the elastic band becomes useful. What will happen if you stretch the
elastic band wider and wider? At some point it is bound to snap! When this happens, the elastic
band is completely useless but now for a different reason. This often describes the experience of
burnout, where the elastic has been worn out over time or stretched beyond its capacity too many
times.

A certain level of stress is good-it gets us going, doing things, acting positively. But if the stress
we experience goes beyond the point we can cope with, then we are in trouble! When this
happens, we may experience stress-related symptoms, which cause us pain in all areas of our
lives. We are affected in our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual lives.

Stress simply defined is the ‘condition we experience when the situation we are in
demands more from us than we can cope with.’

Too little stress Eustress High Stress

Useless Healthy Distress

Too little stress is unhealthy. There is no demand on the person; they become lethargic and
unfruitful in their lives. In many ways they are described as ‘going with the flow’. This is often a
state of boredom and referred to as passive stress. Performance is usually low.

Eustress is healthy stress. This is required for optimal or peak performance. Every athlete,
mother, manager and student needs stress to get the best out of them. This is described as
‘being in flow’ where the persons capability is matched by the demand of the task.

People experiencing eustress describe being ‘in the zone’. They are in a state of flow, where their
capability meets the demands placed on them. The brain also operates in a different physical
state with the increased release of endorphins. Many people have a happy, light feeling.

Distress is unhealthy stress where the persons coping ability is exceeded by the demands of
life. This often is a state of frustration and a sense of overload. During this period the person
experiences the negative symptoms of stress and if this goes unattended over time could lead to
the experience of burnout. Performance in this state is also low. There is a lot of effort, time spent
but the results are not there.

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What are the symptoms of stress?

Symptoms serve a useful purpose in giving us an early warning that our bodies are not coping
well. It’s very much like the gauges in our cars which indicate oil level, temperature and fuel level.
The wise person pays attention to recurring symptoms and takes the necessary action. Ignoring
symptoms could result in a more costly consequence.

Researches describe symptoms of stress usually in different categories: physical, emotional and
spiritual. The presence of two or more of these symptoms combined with a high severity could
indicate an area of concern that is best attended to. The following are typical symptoms
associated with unhealthy stress.

Physical Symptoms Emotional symptoms Spiritual symptoms

• Exhaustion and • Mood swings • Loss of faith in God,
fatigue • Easily frustrated church and self
• Recurrent headaches • Suspiciousness • Loss of prayer and
• Gastrointestinal • Rigidity meditational disciplines
disturbances • Apathy • Developing moral
• Weight loss • Negativism judgementalism
• Sleeplessness • Inability to relax • One track preaching and
• Depression • Feelings of isolation teaching
• Increased marital discord.

# Mark all the symptoms you are experiencing from this list.

# Rate the severity on a scale of 1- 5 (1 = not so serious and 5 = very serious)

What is Burnout?

One of the foremost researchers in the field of burnout is Christina Maslach. She describes
burnout as a condition with three core categories: emotional exhaustion, depersonalization and
reduced personal accomplishment.

Emotional exhaustion is seen as the core of the burnout syndrome which results in a pattern of
emotional overload through becoming too emotionally involved. The pastor overextends himself
to a point of feeling overwhelmed by the emotional demands imposed by his members. This
situation leads them to feel drained with no source of replenishment for their emotional needs.
They tend to isolate themselves and become detached.

The consequence of detachment leads to the second aspect of the burnout syndrome, i.e.,
depersonalization. When this happens, one often finds that the pastor has an active dislike for
his congregants. The people that are in his care are the ones he wants to be most removed from.

This progressive feeling of negativism towards others gradually leads to a negative feeling of self.
Maslach describes this third component of the burnout syndrome as a feeling of reduced
personal accomplishment. There is a persistent sense of inadequacy about the helper's
competence in working with people. As the pastor becomes more withdrawn, detached and less
involved in ministry, his sense of worthlessness starts to erode his being.

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A Biblical Case Study: Moses and Burnout

The three classic symptoms of burnout described by Maslach are illustrated in the life of the first
pastor-leader Moses. Read Numbers 11:11-17. The people of God are in the desert, looking back
at the ‘good life’ of Egypt and wailing at the doors of their tents for meat! Its not just a few people,
Moses is given charge of 600 000 men (not counting women and children). I cannot imagine the
stress He would have experienced with the moaning and groaning of this people day in and day
out for forty years! So he gets to the place of burnout, like all vulnerable human beings. So how
does Moses’ burnout manifest in psychological terms. Here’s how I see it:

• Emotional exhaustion: Moses asked the Lord ‘Why have you brought this trouble on your
servant? Here is Moses totally overwhelmed by the demands of the people. He feels
emotionally troubled and burdened. He is worried about how he is going to satisfy the needs
of these people feeling fully responsible for them.

His thinking becomes distorted as is typical in the case of depression which accompanies
burnout. ‘What have I done to displease you that you put the burden of all these people on
me?’ He begins to feel God is displeased with him therefore he has chosen to punish him
with the leadership task of over a million people. This thinking doesn’t make sense but this is
the reality of a troubled mind. Then he goes on to acknowledge that the task is too big for
him. ‘I cannot carry all these people by myself; the burden is too heavy for me.’ This
statement is typical of the quantitative and qualitative overload that often leads to burnout.

• Depersonalisation: There is active dislike for the very people Moses is called to serve.
These people have now become a ‘burden to him.’ He wants to be left alone, separated from
these people and distances himself from them as though he doesn’t have a relationship with
them. He asks God why the people of God have now become his responsibility. ‘Did I
conceive them or give birth to them?’ ‘Why do you tell me to carry them in my arms as a
nurse carries an infant from here to the Promised Land?’

Moses is so upset with the people that he prefers God puts him to death rather than for him
to be with these people. They become totally despicable in his eyes. He doesn’t want to have
anything to do with them.

a) Reduced accomplishment: He clearly has a persistent inadequacy about his competence.

Right from the start Moses was questioning his capability for the job and as the journey
progresses from Egypt to Canaan, his doubts about his ability continue until he gets to this
point of eventual burnout.

He tells God that the job is too big for him. ‘I cannot carry all these people by myself; the
burden is too big for me’. Then he goes onto to speak of his inadequacy to provide for the
need of the people and even extends his sense of inadequacy to God. ‘Here I am among six
hundred thousand men and you say I will give them meat to eat for a whole month!’ By this
time Moses is totally broken, his confidence in himself and God is sunk. He is so
overwhelmed by the demands of the people that he forgets whose mission this is. It’s the
Lords. God reminds him that His arm is not too short and He will provide for the people.

Moses is described as the most humble man that lived on the face of the earth (Numbers 12:
3). Yet his sense of worth was in his accomplishment. He was asking God right from the start
‘why choose me’. Then as the journey progresses, he does not want to fail the people or
God. So he strikes a deal with God ‘if I have found favour in your eyes do not let me face my
own ruin’ (15). This is the sad story of many of us including myself, where we chose to rather
resign than being seen to have failed.

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DEPRESSION

One of the most common symptoms of stress and burnout amongst pastors is
depression. Dr Archibald Hart (a Christian psychologist at Fuller Theological Seminary, USA)
has written extensively on the topic of depression amongst clergy. Depression is usually a sign of
burnout. It is a normal human experience and not something inflicted on us by the devil or God’s
punishment for our sin. The emotional dangers of the ministry make the pastor vulnerable to
depression. Here are some of the factors:

1. Many pastors fail to take proper care of their bodies. Depression may have both physiological
as well as psychological causes. There are many causes of physical depression such as poor
diet, fatigue, not exercising.

2. The nature of pastor’s work can produce depression. Ministry done with deep sincerity is open
to attacks of despondency. This is also combined with the feeling of being responsible for the
souls of others. People can be disappointing and fickle.

3. The pastor’s position in the church leads to loneliness. A leadership role tends to set one apart
no matter what the vocation and this is especially true for the pastor. The loneliness of ministry
can influence the pastor from being cut off from support systems. It is true but ironic considering
that pastors are surrounded by people all the time.

4. Pastors don’t know how to relax. Work that is continuous can lead to depression. One common
form of depression usually follows the busy Sunday duties. On Mondays the pastor experiences
‘post-adrenalin blues.’ It is a purely physiological response sometimes spiritualised by the pastor.

Burnout and the Pastors Family

The experience of burnout is like a ripple effect when you throw a stone in a pool of water. The
point of impact is the life of the pastor; the next ripple is the wife, then the children, leadership,
congregation and community. Have you noticed that the ripples become bigger and bigger as the
concentric circles move out? This is the reality of stress and burnout. It’s not just about the pastor.

Stress and burnout always impacts the pastor’s family. The pastoral couple and children are
always under the spotlight and one wrong move can be quite damaging especially in immature
congregations.

Marital Impact

Marital problems and feelings of failure and inadequacy correlated high with burnout in the
ministry. Marital stress and family conflicts are common reasons often cited by pastors who leave
the ministry to pursue other vocations. There is a high incidence of marital discord among
ministerial couples during burnout. This is often masked as the pastor and wife feel they have to
put on a good example for their congregants. Sadly the pain of unresolved conflicts takes its toll
in other ways. Pastors become more hardened and cynical in their leadership, get involved in
extra-marital affairs as an escape from the strain at home or eventually separate or divorce.

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Clergy Wives

Wives of pastors experience significantly more loneliness and poor marital adjustment compared
to non-clergy couples. The intense demands placed not only on the minister but also on his
family make it difficult for the minister’s wife to serve adequately as a source of social support.
Even when the wife wants to support her husband (pastor) it is impossible for the wife to bail the
minister out when he faces burnout. She has neither the resources nor the want to, in most
cases; neither should she be expected to do so. As a matter of fact, she also experiences
burnout because you cannot be near the fire and not get scalded at the very least.

The allegiance of the minister to the church (in many cases the husband) leads to a situation with
the spouse (the wife) feeling uncertain of the commitment of her husband to her and the family. In
many of the stress management workshop that I facilitated with clergy couples, clergy wives in
separate sessions often complained of a sense of neglect, being second and less important than
the work of ministry.

Wives described this situation as the pastor (male) being married to the church first and to them
second. Husbands (pastors) likewise considered that their first calling is to the work of the church
and then to their wives. Many male pastors were quite irritated by the suggestion that their wives
should come before the church. They lamented that this is their difficulty – not getting the desired
support from their wives! They too misunderstand that God put them together and that nothing
should separate them, not even God or the church for the divine is shown forth in their union.

Clergy children

Clergy families are under the constant scrutiny of demanding congregants who expect them to
live to a higher standard. Children of clergy parents have an additional strain in having to satisfy
not only the expectations of congregants but also their parents who are anxious that they hold up
a good image.

Clergy children often act out by passive-aggressive behaviour or outright rebellion and rejection
of the faith and all that their parents are expected to stand for. This in turn raises the critical eye
of the congregants who feel that the clergy family is not setting the appropriate role example. The
vicious cycle of guilt and feelings of inadequacy continue to feed off this unhealthy sentiment of
congregants.

Burnout and Sexual Issues

It has been found that pastors experiencing high stress and burnout are vulnerable to sexual
misconduct. The consequences can be quite devastating not only for the pastor but also the
family. In a summary of several statistical studies conducted in the 1980s and 1990s in the USA,
reported incidence rates of sexual misconduct ranging between 9% and 25% of clergy surveyed.
Inappropriate sexual relations can often stem from the phenomenon of counter-transference in
counselling or in the pastoral relationship in general. Often this is a hazard for pastors not trained
professionally in counselling practice. It also results where clear and healthy boundaries are not
established between the pastor and congregants.

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 CHAPTER THREE
Causes of Stress and Burnout
There are many causes related to the nature of the pastors job. We discussed these in the
section the hazards of ministry earlier. In this section we will focus on the intrapersonal
dimension or the pastors inner world. How you are inside affects how you minister outside. We
will also look at the interpersonal dimension, or how the pastor relates to others.

Intrapersonal Dimension
The Pedestal Syndrome

Eugene Peterson, pastor and author of the Message Bible, says that the work of the pastor is so
demanding because every man and his dog have a view of the job description and they are not
all the same. This is the single most energy-draining pressure point that for the pastor, i.e., the
gap between expectations and reality. Pastors are often idealistic, especially when they first come
out of seminary. Burnout in the ministry is more likely to occur when unrealistic expectations of
the minister are not met.

Being on a pedestal requires a certain type of image which is not always easy to maintain and
when the pastor seems to fail. He is not treated graciously by his members. He feels guilty and
tries to keep up with the demands placed on him He knows the expectations are unrealistic but
he is afraid to admit he is only human.

As a result of attempting to meet this multitude of demands, the minister often functions a great
deal on his persona. This is the mask that we all wear at some time or the other. Sanford says
that the persona on the one hand serves an adaptive function in that it protects the minister from
the outer world by enabling him to assume a certain outer posture but at the same time keeps
other aspects of the minister's life hidden from others and in this regard. The persona is often
useful and necessary.

However, the excessive dependence on the persona leads to a point when the real self is not
experienced any more. This role is false and is predestined for burnout. I don’t think that there is
anything wrong with being idealistic as the Christian life is in essence that (Mt. 6:33) but the
problem arises when you couple idealism with unrealistic expectations for the latter will eventually
overwhelm the former.

Personality and Burnout

An individual's personality may influence both the manifestation of burnout as well as one's
predisposition to burnout. In general the interaction between the individual's personality and the
stress encountered will determine how an individual reacts to job stressors. Individuals
undergoing significant life changes may also be particularly vulnerable to burnout.

Research studies show that pastors generally tend to have more psychosomatic and stress
related illnesses than the general population. Other studies showed that a high incidence of
clergy displaying Type A behaviour manifest the coronary prone pattern. Type A behaviour
patterns are characterized as exaggerated aggressiveness, impatience and competitiveness.
These are people constantly and unhealthily driven.

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Minirth & Meier, respected Christian psychiatrists have said that Evangelical churches today are
populated with many people with Obsessive –Compulsive traits. These people tend to make good
church workers and church leaders. Many of these people are pastors. They tend to be reliable,
punctual, cope with responsibility, and concerned about doctrinal integrity and theological
accuracy. Despite these noble characteristics there are significant negatives associated with this
trait:

• Emphasis on theory – letter of the law – great with doctrine – poor with people
• Develop a tendency to oppositional thinking and debate – critique everything
• Inability to trust and embrace the grace of
• Bitterness and idealism characterize their personal struggles

Demographic Variables

Several studies were conducted which examined if demographic variables made pastors more
prone to stress and burnout. The results are not conclusive but give useful clues:

Age. Younger pastors generally experience more stress and lowered personal accomplishment
than older ministers. Even though age appears to correlate well with burnout this variable does
not discriminate between the experiences of high and low levels of burnout.

Tenure. How long you are serving as a minister is related to your potential for experiencing high
and low burnout levels. Pastors experiencing a high level of burnout had a mean age of 8,5 years
in the ministry as compared to the 15,6 years of service among pastors experiencing moderate
levels of burnout. This finding indicates that the potential for burnout is much higher in the first ten
years of ministry.

The Early Years. The first five years of the ministry as critical years of the ministry. The major
sources of stress in these early years of ministry are the problem of competence, interaction with
congregants and a professional isolation. It is during these early years a lot of the initial idealism
at entering the ministry is tested. These early experiences are the seeds for problems in later
ministerial life. It is during these years that habits and styles of operating are formed, often
modelled by the supervising pastor. It’s also most often in the first ten years of ministry that many
pastors are beginning a marriage and family.

Small vs. Big Churches: A study of clergy in Australian churches conducted by Kaldor and
Billput in 2001 found that burnout scores are higher amongst pastors in smaller churches than in
bigger churches. Bigger churches have more to do but also have a bigger resource base – often
with larger full time staff and often active lay ministry team. Stress of staff and volunteers are
likely to occur in very driven, performance oriented churches.

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Interpersonal Dimension
Archibald Hart observes that as a built-in source of frustration, other people are a major cause of
burnout, and yet people are what ministry is all about. Whenever people work together there are
bound to be intense interactions, misunderstandings, mis-communications, ulterior motives and
the like. But nowhere in the human services is this more likely to occur and be as damaging as in
the ministry.

Poor Conflict Management

The many conflicting demands of the ministry give rise to a great deal of anger. Yet many
pastors feel they cannot or should not express these feelings of anger. This problem tends to be
twofold. On the one hand many congregation members find it hard to accept that the minister is
human and has every right to experience and express these emotions. Yet on the other hand,
pastors tend to feel that the expression of anger is sinful. However the non-expression of anger
and the denial is also sinful in itself in that the minister is not relating genuinely with his
congregants.

Poor Training in Relational Skills

Archibald Hart notes that training for the other helping professions places a high priority on
human relationships, and skills in these areas are deliberately developed. This is not usually the
case in seminaries, which tend to place more emphasis on theological studies and preaching. In
both my masters research with Pentecostal pastors and doctoral research with a group of pastors
from various charismatic and evangelical churches, a common theme was the poor training in
people skills.

Two major areas of stress were reported by pastors, i.e. counselling and leadership. Both tasks
are people skills intensive and require both competence and character. As first line counselors,
pastors are not equipped to deal with the demanding emotional and psychological issues that
they will encounter. Often the strain of counselling and poor boundary setting takes its toll on the
pastor who feels overburdened by the trouble of his/her congregation.

Volunteer Relationships

Another potential source of conflict is related to the voluntary nature of the church. Congregations
are made of people who choose to be there, and could just as easily choose not to be there.
Many members participate actively when the going is good. However when problems develop,
there is a tendency to withdraw support and vote with their feet.

Healthy churches are able to encourage and release volunteers for active ministry in the local
church. This requires a confidence in the pastor that other people can also do the work. It also
requires a theology of Christian ministry that equally values all work and does not separate the
sacred (work of pastors and full time ministers) from the secular (work of volunteers/lay people).
Where churches genuinely embrace the talents in the Body of Christ there is evidence of
fruitfulness not necessarily according to superficial targets but in life change and transformation.

I have also in more recent years began to witness a high turnover amongst volunteers. Like
pastors, many are leaving local churches burned out. They feel overworked, used and not cared
for. They are valued for what they can contribute to the agenda of the church rather than being
appreciated as family members working together in the service of the Lord. Often this volunteer
burnout is the result of over functioning pastors who tend to be driven, perfectionist and
obsessive-compulsive. The task becomes more important than the person.

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 CHAPTER FOUR
Self Care & Coping Strategies

Taking Care of the Self

One of the dominant themes highlighted in the workshops by the clergy was the need to take care
of self. At the heart of the neglect of self appears to be the conflict of among clergy that somehow
taking care of self is unchristian or at least unnecessary. This concern calls for a reasonable
balance between the two unhealthy extremes of self neglect and destructive self-indulgence.

Pastors are some of the worst when it comes to taking care of their bodies. There is an alarming
incidence of heart diseases and other conditions due to neglect. Many of us witness unhealthy
eating and lifestyles resulting in overweight. I remember one pastor, a senior leader in a
denomination bragging about his desire for food. He believed that this body will pass away and
that his only responsibility was to be concerned about spiritual matters!

Rationale for Self Care

Roy M. Oswald addresses self care in an excellent resource for pastors entitled ‘Clergy Self Care,
Finding a Balance for Effective Ministry.’ He regards self care as a responsible response to the
calling to ministry. “I take care of myself, not only for my sake, or in gratitude for the life given me
by God, but also for the sake of others. If I don’t take care of myself, I not only hurt myself, but I
let others down as well.’ Oswald tells us the rationale for self care is based on some of the
following basic assumptions: Clergy are in the health and wholeness ministry. The healthier they
become, the more effective they are in ministry to others. Who and what clergy are as persons is
their most effective tool in pastoral ministry.

How can pastors present a message of wholeness if they themselves are not experiencing the
wholeness of Christ? The concept of self-care is not self-serving in that it does not seek to place
personal comfort above the obligations of service, as was a common notion expressed by the
clergy in the workshops. Self care seeks to retain and restore the resources of pastors so that
they may remain effective servants of Christ.

At the heart of self-care is the need to maintain physical, emotional and spiritual well-being by
constant utilization of preventative action. The experience of stress causes a significant drain on
physiological resources and pastors need to maintain an effective rest, relaxation, physical fitness
programme and good nutritional habits.

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Meaning and Spirituality

One of the striking findings from my study of pastors was this: “although there was significantly
high levels of stress, not all pastors were burned out.” As I explored why this would be so I came
to an understanding that the pastor by the nature of his calling and personal spirituality has an ‘in-
built’ coping mechanism which ‘comes with the job.’

Access to spiritual resources does make a difference and should be reconsidered in the life of
the pastor and not taken for granted. Spirituality has been shown to moderate the relationship
between experience of stress and well being.

Spiritually based beliefs and practices provide strategies for finding solutions to life problems as
well as peace of mind. Spirituality results in this peace of mind because it involves faith and
willingness to believe despite circumstances. This personal search for meaning and purpose
allows a person to transcend the self and find a deeper connection between what is temporal and
eternal. There are many spiritual disciplines that pastors are well aware which practiced could
assist them mediate their experience of stress.

Coping also requires making tough decisions. Don Cousins in his book ‘Experiencing LeaderShift’
speaks about his personal experience of stress as a founder pastor of the now famous Willow
Creek Church. He had to make some tough decisions at his crossroad which eventually led to
him not continuing as a pastor at this church.

As Cousins looks back on the high performance ministry demands, he makes a vital recognition
that unless a pastor is in the zone of anointing his work will be burdensome. After all Christ said
‘my yolk is easy and my burden light’ The zone of anointing is ‘the place of His [God’s] felt
presence and manifest power.’ He warns that we should be aware of institutional entanglements
that distract us from the true call of God. Performance based ministry is one such distraction
where we are attracted to success both in congregation numbers or the size of our ministry
campus instead of being in flow with the specific purpose of God for our lives.

Coping and Social Support

“No one is an island.” In our life and vocational journey, two are clearly better than one. The
social support of various people like spouse, immediate family, leaders, congregants and friends
can be immensely valuable. Alan Loy McGinnis in his highly recommended book ‘The Balanced
Life’ identifies four laws of success. They are: commitment, discipline, adaptability and
collaboration.

One of the elements of collaboration is eliciting help from other people. He reminds us that highly
effective people are good at building relationships at many different levels. We grow and
accomplish most in the company and support of loved ones.

He goes on to share examples of great achievers and people we consider genius who achieved
their success through collaboration. Some of these people are Niels Bohr and apprentice Werner
Heisenberg who established the foundations of quantum physics; Picaso and Braque worked
together to develop Cubism; Ford Maddox Ford was a great strength to novelist Joseph Conrad;
Stephen Spielberg’s mother Leah encouraged his interest and imagination.

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The Pastor’s Spouse.

In the 2001 Australian clergy study conducted by Kaldor and Bullpit, they found that around 80%
of pastors identified their spouses as somebody useful to talk with and helpful in managing the
stress and strain of their work. Sadly we learned earlier, pastor’s marriages are the ones most in
need of help.

A 1992 survey reported in Leadership journal showed that 81 percent of pastoral couples
responded that they have insufficient time together. Committing to quality time is essential for
healthy marriages. Forty-nine percent reported that their spouses desired more frequent sexual
intimacy.

John Maxwell says that he has made it clear with his congregation that his love for his family
comes first. He warns against having a needy congregation who substitute family. Making clear
your priorities helps other people around you also understand their boundaries and more
importantly gives them a clear message of how to negotiate your time and availability with you.

Saying ‘No’ to someone should be considered in the context of saying ‘Yes’ to someone else and
something more important. This always helps with making right choices.

Peer Accountability and Mentoring.

Apart from spouse support, the other most common category of people that most pastors prefer
to talk to was other clergy. Pastor’s fraternal meetings used to be a useful networking and
accountability structure. Where these worked well, there was great fellowship, encouragement
and mutual learning and accountability. Sadly with many independent churches springing up, the
need for peer accountability is lacking. Mature co-workers can be of tremendous help.

Spiritual mentoring is another opportunity for support, formation and direction in vocational
ministry. The benefits of mentoring and coaching are widely recognized in the corporate sector
and put to good use as less experienced managers are groomed for more senior positions or
peers challenge and support the growth of one another. In fact most Fortune 500 CEO’s have
had a mentor somewhere in their career and many still have a business and life coach.

The classic biblical example of mentoring is that of Paul and Timothy. This form of support can be
useful especially to younger ministers but is not limited or bound by age. As we have learned the
first ten years of ministry are the most challenging. Finding a good mentor in this time is
invaluable. Being a mentor is an even greater blessing as you see the growth of young Timothy.

Medical and Psychological Support

Clergy have often expressed their discomfort with seeking medical and psychological assistance
as they consider this contrary to their faith system. This is an unfortunate position as clergy often
are forced to seek medical help when they breakdown physically and mentally. Surely, there is a
different perspective as some clergy have embraced as part of a holistic approach.

The stress process is primarily a physical process with symptoms showing up in different body
parts. Symptoms are signals of the body to pay attention. Ignoring physical symptoms or denying
the physical leads to further destruction of our bodies. All clergy should be having regular health
checks especially considering their vulnerability to stressful experiences. However treating stress
symptoms purely from a medical perspective is inadequate. We understand stress is also an
emotional condition which can also benefit from counseling.

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The use of medication in treating stress and depression is important for clergy to reconsider.
Appropriate use of medication can assist in managing some of the chemical issues related to
stress and depression. Dr Archibald Hart, a respected Christian psychologist who has worked
extensively with clergy recommends the use of medication as part of a complementary treatment
programme.

Counselling and psychotherapy can also be of great benefit to clergy. There is much literature of
studies that ask the question ‘who cares for the caregiver?’ Choosing to be counseled by a
professional Christian based therapist or counselor has value.

Much of the challenge of seeking help from other helping professionals is not so much about the
value of their support. It is largely about the mindset of the pastor who has been taught or may
even be teaching that medical and psychological help is anti-Christian. This paradigm needs to
be challenged.

Physical - Recreational Strategies

Keeping the Sabbath

God in his divine wisdom instituted a principle that is good for our wellbeing. At the end of his
creation work, he called a day of divine rest and invited us to enter into this rest. Sadly in our
fallen nature we will not experience this full and everlasting rest but will when we are in heaven.

The principle of the day of rest competes with our performance – driven fast-paced lifestyle.
Anytime spent ‘chilling out’ is seen as frivolous and a waste of good time. Yet, God established in
Jewish life and custom this pattern of work and rest.

Keeping the Sabbath is more than a ritual; it should have personal meaning for each one. It is not
necessarily a fixed day but rather a conscious and deliberate setting aside of time for rest,
reflection and revitalization. I am aware that many pastors set aside Monday as their free day.
This is a great practice. Try to get away if you can. Keep away from the phone and e-mails.

Eugene Peterson refers to the two major reasons of Sabbath as praying and playing. The Exodus
reason is that we keep the Sabbath because God kept it. This is the contemplative reason and it
leads to prayer and worship. The other reason comes from Deuteronomy where the Israelites
worked non-stop and lost their dignity as human beings. Here God directs us to social leisure,
which becomes play. Remember that as often as we work, we involve others either by directly
involving them or indirectly by being unavailable to them.

• Take time to experience life

• Cultivate meaningful leisure time
• Develop a consistent exercise programme
• Develop a healthy eating pattern

Nutrition and Stress

There is a definite link between nutrition and our experience of stress. Poor eating increases our
stress and stress often leads to poor eating patterns, weight loss or sudden weight gain. Usually
people constantly on the go tend to eat poorly prepared meals and not consistently. Over time
these lead to poor eating habits and can be the cause of stress.

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Be aware of your eating patterns. Visit a nutritionist if you need to in restoring a healthy nutritional
pattern. At the least try to get the following right:

• Eat a well balanced diet

• Eat a good breakfast and space meals evenly through the day
• Avoid or limit the consumption of sugar and caffeine
• Eat food that provides adequate levels of vitamins and minerals

Practice Relaxation techniques

A key component of successful stress management is the practice of relaxation techniques.

Some Christian leaders in my workshops have expressed concern that relaxation is the same as
hypnosis and they were uncomfortable. Others consider it the same as yoga and also appear
skeptical. Relaxation techniques simply allow you to exercise time out for your mind and body.

Breathing techniques are also useful in relaxing. Usually when we are stressed we are not
breathing properly, often short of breath with tight stomach muscles or the feeling of butterflies.
By practicing deep breathing we teach our body to appreciate the fullness of the breath of God
which brings healing to our bodies. Try it, slow…deep….inhale….hold the breath….and release.

Physical Exercise

A healthy body goes with a healthy mind. It is clear that physical fitness contributes to health, long
life and improves the quality of life and self esteem. Health and fitness is the new revolution that
is sweeping across a stressed-out globe.

We are made to be active. Remaining inactive results in incredible strain on internal systems
causing various organ tissues to go into metabolic ‘overdrive. Just as the body requires a state of
calm and homeostasis it equally demands physical stimulation or it will go into dysfunction. Find a
physical exercise routine that suits you and stick with it.

A regular exercise routine increases energy levels. You feel happier and able to take on more.
The older pastors get, it becomes more essential that they stick to an appropriate level of activity.
Depend on your age or health, you may participate in an active programme such as marathon
running, sports or weight training. Others may take up a regular game of tennis, or walking. Find
what works for you and stick to it. Ideally, find a partner to join you. It makes exercise much
easier.

Time Management

Many of the stress of pastors come from overload, doing too much, focusing on the urgent
demands and neglecting more important priorities. Time is the only commodity we all have
equally. How we spend it can determine our success or failure. We can drive ourselves like rats
on the run, not taking a break or we can find a way of working hard and playing hard.

Steven Covey has laid an excellent foundation in his teachings ‘7 Habits of Highly Successful
People.’ He teaches basic life principles which we are well advised to consider. If this is not your
cup of tea, study and apply the Proverbs of the Bible.

Steven covey illustrates the use of time using 4 quadrants of urgent and important. Let’s look at
Covey’s 4 quadrants:

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not urgent but important urgent and important

These are often the maintenance aspects of
our lives. Making sure our licences are paid,
that we take regular health checks, take our
families for holiday, exercising regularly.
These actions are value adding to our lives. In
these cases we have time to plan and prepare.
Give number one priority to this. These are the
20% of our lives that when we do well, we
harvest a rich reward.
Things here are related to the things that really
matter: our relationship with God; our family
and friends.

not urgent – not important urgent – not important

These are time wasters. Sadly our consumerist
society has developed excellent techniques in
keeping us busy with the things that don’t
matter. Watching TV is one of the big culprits in
this regard
These are often the day to day things we have
to attend to. Answering the phone, reading e-
mails, meeting everyone that wants to see you.
The list goes on.

• Where are you spending most of your time right now?

• Write down things you are doing in each of the four areas?
• How do you want to spend your time to be effective?
• How can you re-programme your ministry day to be more effective?

Procrastination

Procrastination is the thief of time. I met a young chap at a restaurant whose motto was ‘don’t
leave for tomorrow what you can drink today’. At one level there is a lot of truth in this statement.
Putting off to tomorrow only make things more difficult, issues remain unresolved and decisions
are not made. God is a decisive God and He wants us to take control of every day. Making a
mistake is much better than not doing anything at all.

What do you need to do today? Make a small start and ask God to help you follow through. Make
the first move. He is king and willing to help you succeed.

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Developing a Personal Stress Management Plan
Moving from Information to Transformation

It is my hope that this toolkit will serve to both inform and to challenge you to action. I would like
to suggest that we take a coaching approach in using the toolkit. As you critically read through the
toolkit, identify personal challenges, consider the lessons of others both from research and
experience. Above all develop a personal stress management plan in which you take your
learning into action. I would like to suggest that you don’t go through this journey on your own. If
you are married invite your spouse to join you. Others can consider the participation of a peer or
mentor.

Goal: what do you want? As you revisit the toolkit, I would like to invite you to identify/confirm a
personal goal/s for yourself as a Christian leader. Write it down.

Reality: what is happening in your world right now? Are you realizing your goals, if not what is the
impact of stress and burnout in your personal world? What are the barriers to you operating in
your ideal zone? Describe this now.

Options: what could you do about your situation? As you work through the toolkit, you will identify
many alternative strategies that could be used to effectively manage your experience of stress
and burnout. Identify what could work for you with the greatest impact. List options available to
you as you discover them through the following pages.

Will: what will you do? This is the million dollar question. What will you do with what you know?
Managing stress and burnout is a personal choice. Be not only hearers but doers of the truth.
What commitment and accountability will you undertake? Write these down.

Revelation Interpretation Application

Jack Deere in his book on the prophetic ministry shares three important phase in the process of
moving from what we know to doing. The first phase is Revelation. We need to hear God’s voice
in our situation. This can be through His Word, the testimony of others or the natural world.

Then we go through the second phase which is Interpretation. So now that you know all that you
do about stress, burnout and ministry what does this mean for your personally. What is God’s
word to you? As you ponder the knowledge shared in this book, go back to scripture and take
note of specific and general guidance God is giving you.

Finally, the third stage is Application. What will you do based on what you know. Application
must be based on God’s revelation, and your biblically based interpretation. For some of you this
might mean slowing down, taking a ministry retreat or holiday. For others this might mean a more
serious time of reflection and break from the ministry in the form of sabbatical for six months,
maybe a year.

So the bottom line is that each of us respond to revelation in different ways. I pray that you bring
your situation to God’s attention and allow Him to guide you in the small or big step you need to
take. In the next section, we will explore practical strategies for the management of stress and the
prevention of burnout. This is not rocket science but requires discipline and good stewardship.
There are other matters outside of our control and this I will address in the last chapter on
personal healing and recovery. Let’s do what we can and must do as good stewards and allow
God to lead us to our place of healing and victory in Him.

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A) WHERE AM I NOW?

Symptoms of Stress

List all your symptoms and mark them in order of severity

Sources of Stress

List all the sources of stress and mark them in order of severity

Burnout Levels

What symptoms of burnout have you experienced? How would you rate your burnout?

Mild

Moderate

Severe

What is this picture telling you?

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B) WHERE DO I WANT TO BE?
The Bible says that where there is no vision, the people perish. Our God is a long term
planner. He had a vision for us before he set the sun, moon and stars in their places. In
Isaiah 37:26 God asks us ‘have you not heard? Long ago I ordained it. In the days of old I
planned it; now I will bring it to pass.”

• Where do I want to be in (insert time period 30/60/90 days)?

• Describe how you will be physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually different. Be
specific.

C) WHAT MUST I DO TO CLOSE THE GAP

Set Goals and Find an Accountability Partner

Like a bridge, goals provide the structure to move from one side to the other. Setting goals is not
just common sense, it also requires some method. Most people are well intentioned and often set
goals at the start of a new year. Somehow these goals are not always realized. The thing that
may help to keep a person working toward their goals is someone from outside, someone reliable
because you know how people are weak with keeping resolutions. After all, one cannot get out of
a hole by oneself.

Write down your goals and share them with someone close to you. Goals should be:

Specific

Measurable

Achievable

Realistic

Time-bound

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 CHAPTER FIVE

THE HEALING JOURNEY

RECOVERING FROM SEVERE STRESS AND BURNOUT

“If you have raced with men on foot, and they have wearied you, how will you compete with
horses? And if in a safe land you fall down, how will you do in the jungle of Jordan?

Jeremiah 12:5

The Place of Desperation

Some of you may have been through an experience of burnout in the past or some are
experiencing burnout now. This section will help you reflect on some ways you can deal with your
situation Our experience of stress and burnout can bring us into the place of desperation. Have
you been really desperate? These are places of deep desperation, ripe with promise for
transformation. We come into a place of desperation either out of deep pain or deep promise.
Either way we need the touch of God to propel us into a new dimension that we cannot achieve in
our own strength.

The Gospels are full of stories of desperate people. We read of the Canaanite woman pleading
for the deliverance of her daughter (Matt 15 v 22-28). Jairus, ruler of the synagogue frantically
pleads with Jesus to heal his dying daughter (Luke 8 v 41-42, 49-56). Blind Bartimaeus would not
be silenced by the crowds as he shouts out to Jesus (Mark 10 v 46-52). The man sick of the
palsy has his friends dismantle the roof to lower him into Jesus presence (Mark 2 v 1-5). Perhaps
one of the most moving stories concerns the woman with the issue of blood.

As we read the woman’s story, it seems to me that she went through several phases in her
journey over a period of time. These phases can also serve as a guide for us as we navigate from
our place of burnout back to restoration and fruitfulness in and through Christ.

We meet the woman in the story at her place of desperation, being chronically ill for 12 years.
She makes a life changing decision to go to Jesus and touch his garment in faith for her healing.
Her decision demanded an incredible spirit of determination as she broke through individual,
social and religious barriers in pursuing her desire to be made whole. She in turn is wonderfully
touched by Jesus and is immediately physically healed. More than that, she is also restored in
her dignity and relationship with The Messiah. She continues in her journey of restoration and
wholeness with an attitude of dedication as a disciple of The Christ. This journey from
desperation to dedication is a journey that we can all take in our different lives. Ultimately God
brings us into desperate places so we may discover Him as followers in faith – as true disciples.

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THE CASE STUDY OF MOSES
The apostle Stephen described Moses as a most incredibly gifted individual (Acts 7:20-22). The
young Moses growing up in the Egyptian courts was endowed with physical, intellectual and
leadership strength. He had the human ability for the job of leading the people of Israel.

Yet, it was one encounter in the second and latter part of his life that gave him a new ability that
far surpassed his ability of youth. This event is recorded in Exodus 3 in the encounter of the
Burning Bush. Moses was eighty years when he returned to Egypt out of the wilderness/desert to
lead the people into their freedom.

The burning bush encounter brought Moses first hand to experiencing the presence of the
preincarnate Christ. The burning bush defined Moses mission. The bush that burned brightly and
never burned out (burnout). What made the difference in Moses life that enabled him to
accomplish at eighty what he could not at forty? Hebrews 11: 27, “He persevered because he
saw him who is invisible.” Moses lived his life in the continued presence of God drawing on divine
enablement and not his own strength.

Moses had a desert experience. He came to a place where life was desperate and only God
could bring about a change. He had to learn the life of a shepherd, be alone with himself, and
know what it is to be a fugitive as God prepared him for a divine leadership role. The work of the
Holy Spirit is essential in our desert journeys. In the Old Testament the Holy Spirit is described as
the ruach – creative, restoring and empowering spirit. In the New Testament he is described as
the paraclete: Jn. 14, 15 and 16. The spirit teaches, announces the future and he convicts. He
also speaks to us – I think in my experience, I only came to later on listen more to the spirit than
work on my own steam and this was sustaining to me because the work that we do is largely
physical and emotional but ultimately spiritual. The Spirit intercedes for us in moans and groans
that we cannot understand.

Jesus and John were also in the desert. The desert experience is often spoken of by great saints
and philosophers as a necessary part of healing and growth. It is essential for our healing,
discovery and recovery. Stress and burnout often bring us into this desert experience where we
discover the burning bush, God’s eternal presence, a new refreshing in our souls and
confirmation of our calling. Burnout can be a blessing as it allows entering God’s waiting room
where we take time out. It’s the Intensive Care Unit where God lovingly restores us. I strongly
advocate taking time out without feeling guilty because no one is indispensable and the work (sic)
of God does goes on.

Burnout Recovery: Practical Strategies

One of the major consequences of burnout is completely giving up. Elijah the great prophet of
God came to this place of declaring ‘I’ve had enough’. How do we get on from this place of total
defeat to recovery? Myron Rush calls this the ‘Elijah Decision’ and provides some useful
guidelines to move on.

Call a Friend

Who is your confidant on call? Often by the time we are burned out, we have also lost our good
friends and support systems along the way because we have become so absorbed with our work.
So calling a friend may not be that easy. However, a true friend the bible says sticks closer than a
brother. You may be surprised to find God working through your old friends.

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The friend can take the form of a wise friend or professional support from a psychologist or
counselor. Whatever form it takes, we need to partner with someone as we move from our
burnout state. Partnering with someone is also a sign of our humility and our willingness to be
supported by someone else. It’s also about accountability. This is probably quite hard to do
especially for people that have been high achievers and sailing the sea on their own.

God is our greatest friend and He wants us to enjoy the blessing of friendship. Often our high
achievement and results driven lives take us away from friendships. Our friendship with God is
also slowly eroded as we have no dependence on Him and so too our friendships with other
brothers and sisters. In a paradoxical way burnout gives us the space to regain and restore these
important relationships

Separate yourself from the Problem

This is common sense but we need to reminded. If you’re in burnout because of your local
church, you need to separate yourself. Here is the challenge. How do you do this? What if your
church leadership is not understanding or supportive? What if they are a major cause of your
burnout? How long to you go away? How will you take care of yourself in this time? What about
your family?

Suddenly as you contemplate all of these issues you can become overwhelmed. It’s easy just to
fall back the Elijah trap and say ‘I can’t do it’. This is why you need to get the support of a wise
advisor who can help you work through the key decisions and choices you need to make. The
first choice is to move away. Your recovery cannot start if you continue to remain in the same
situation.

Have a Time of Rest and Relaxation

When you are burned out you are exhausted both mentally and physically. Recovery from
burnout requires you dealing with emotional issues. However this is nearly impossible if you are
physically exhausted. Just imagine a marathon runner that has collapsed from fatigue on the side
of the road. Along comes a psychologist and offers counselling to the runner warning about the
dangers of excessive ambition and pushing oneself. This is no use to the runner. In fact it can be
quite harmful. What the fatigued runner needs is lots of fresh cold water, someone to put him on a
stretcher, massage his cramped legs and give him fresh air.

This is just what God did for Elijah when he was burned out. Read 1 Kings 19:5-8. As he lay
exhausted under a tree the Angel of God asked him to get up and eat and drink. He ate and
drank and slept again. He must have been totally exhausted. Then the Angel of God comes back
at a later stage and asks Elijah to get up and again eat and drink. Then the Angel reminded Elijah
that there is a long journey ahead of Him.

Take care of the basics. I remember in my burnout recovery, all I wanted to do was just sleep. I
would take a walk in the morning, have something to eat and sleep. My body so much needed the
rest! Then as I grew stronger, with more energy, I spent more time meditating on my situation. It
was in this time that I was reminded that I too have a long journey ahead and that I need to be a
good steward of my body and my mind. Taking time out could mean going away to someplace
where you have peace and quite; a place where your mobile phone is turned off and there is no
television. You will be blessed if you can go to a Christian retreat centre which takes care of
pastors and their families. Otherwise a spa treatment, hotel out of the city are all good ideas.

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Begin Rebuilding Your Self Confidence

When you are burned out, your self image is shattered. You feel like a failure, reduced to nothing
because often our worth is in our work. Take our work away, our status goes, our motivation goes
and our sense of worth also goes. This is the classic case of living by works instead of the grace
of God. Sometimes burnout is a place for us to re-learn this lesson.

So how do you regain your confidence? Start small. Set yourself easily achievable goals. This
might seem mundane but you need to get a sense of completion. For me this meant woodwork.
For a few weeks I renovated my old furniture, sanding, stripping and painting. At the end of every
day I felt good. I could see what I had done and knew what I wanted to do tomorrow. Then it was
keeping a journal of my journey, day by day. I also spent time taking care of my aged mother and
doing household chores. Small actions that gave me a sense of movement and completeness.

Don’t expect too much too soon. This is exactly the trap of high achievement that led to your
burnout in the first place. In this time we have to re-learn new helpful attitudes and behaviours.
We need to take it easy, pace ourselves and not be too demanding and self critical. It’s like
recovering from surgery, you cannot jump out of bed after a major heart surgery and get back to
normal the next day. Often you will be prescribed medication to help your recovery, a programme
of physiotherapy and lots of rest. Healing from emotional exhaustion is no different. It requires
time and care.

Rediscovering the Joy of Being a Pastor

Indeed there are many challenges, stresses and strains of being a pastor. Surely God doesn’t call
pastors to a life of somber mediocrity and dullness, to be in daily mourning. The work of a pastor
is exciting, special and touches people in unique ways. Rediscovering your call is essential as
you learn to manage stress and maybe recover from a season of burnout. H.B. London and Neil
Wiseman in their inspirational book ‘The Heart of a Great Pastor’ encourage pastors to
rediscover and re-ignite the flame and passion of their first calling. ‘A great pastor is not
measured by the size of his congregation – but by the willingness of his heart.’

Neil Wiseman captures this special opportunity as he reflects on his life and ministry. ‘I love the
privilege of living at the front lines of life where grace works and where the peace treaties of
reconciliation are cosigned by God and broken people. As flawed and frail as I know myself to be,
I am privileged to represent Christ at the main events of people’s lives.’ p. 134.

‘Sustained satisfaction starts by recognizing the incredible perks God plants around the edge of
every pastoral assignment. Fulfillment can be found wherever anyone needs ministry. And being
a pastor means God sends us to those places often.’ P.137.

Remembering

I love taking pictures and also have great delight as I share my albums with family and friends.
The Bible is also a wonderful book of memories of God’s working with his people. As I look
through my album, I remember the good and the tough times but always inspired by the good
memories over the years. Do you remember as a pastor your greatest times of joy and
satisfaction. As the stresses and strains of pastoral life wear you down, it’s easy to forget why you
started off in the first place.

All we have when we look back on our lives are our memories. Things perish; love remains
etched in our hearts. Neil Wiseman also shares this when he says “With good memories of deeds
done and kindness received, a pastor is safe in the thick and thin of ministry. He can rise to any
challenge and face anything as a consequence of these two memories.” p. 153.

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On a flight I had the privilege of sitting next to an 81 year old English man on a flight named
Gordon who saw me reading a book on leadership. We got chatting about his life and work and I
asked him about his most challenging leadership experiences. With great delight he told me how
he started off as an engineering student in England and had to work his way through university
having come from a poor family. He had the privilege of studying under an expert engineer and
learned gear technology. He later started building cranes and until 75 years of age consulted
around the world. I was interested to know what kept him going.

He said you have to love the work you do. It must become part of who you are and then the
people you work with will also be encouraged by you and will want to work with you. Find the
passion in your work and live it out. Don’t do something you don’t love. Rediscover your first
love.

He also told me to be gentle with people. No matter how bad they have done or how tough a
decision you have to make, treat them with respect and dignity. This was a hard one for me
having been taught to toughen up over the years in the corporate world. He told me of how one of
his retrenched staff committed suicide. That sad memory like all the joyful ones is still there. They
have been markers in his life learning and future navigation.

What memories do you carry of your ministry life? Pastors tend to down-play your times of
satisfaction, success and thrill. Describe the time you were in zone of fulfillment. What was
happening then?

The Greatest of these is Love

I want to end with the message from Corinthians 13 which reminds us that above all, love is what
matters and is supreme. In this toolkit I have shared much with you which I hope you find useful. I
too take the lessons each time I share them. So, if we both only remember that we should love
the work we do and work for the ones we love, it’s a good start.

McGinnis in ‘The Balanced Life’ shares some insightful research on the value of having a network
of affectionate and mutual friends. A Swedish study published in the British Medical Journal in
1993, studied 752 men over a 7 year period. There was a correlation between the likelihood of
the deaths of the 42 that died during the seven year study period and emotional stress. The men
that reported emotional stress due to financial troubles, lawsuits, and divorce or job loss had a
three times greater death rate than calm and relaxed people.

But the most remarkable part of this study which McGinnis is fascinated by is that among the men
who said they had a dependable web of intimacy – a wife, close friends, children with whom they
were close – there was no relationship whatsoever between high stress levels and death.

Your greatest assets as a pastor are people. Love the ones closest to you first, and then
love the ones in your care in response to our Great Shepherd who first loved you and me.

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SELECTED REFERENCES
Cherniss, C. (1995). Beyond Burnout. New York. Routledge.

Cousins, D. (2008). Experiencing LeaderShift. Letting Go of Leadership Heresies. Cook.

Colorado.

Covey, S.R. (1989). The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Simon & Schuster, New York, NY.

Dawn, M. & Peterson, E. (2000). The Unnecessary Pastor: Rediscovering the Call. Vancouver.
Regent.

Deere, J. (2001). The Beginners Guide to the Gift of Prophecy. California. Regal Books.

Edelwich, J. (1980). Burn-Out. Stages of Disillusionment in the Helping Professions. New York:
Human Sciences Press.

Faulkner, B.R. (1981). Burnout in the Ministry. Nashville. Broadman.

Hart, A.D. (1984).Coping with Depression in the Ministry & Other Helping Professions. Texas.
Word

Kaldor, P., & Bullpit, R. (2001). Burnout in Church Leaders. Sydney. Open Book Publishers.

London, H.B & N.B. Wiseman. (1993). Pastors at greater risk. California. Regal Books.

London, H.B & N.B. Wiseman. (1994). The Heart of a Great Pastor. California. Regal Books.

London, H.B. (1996). Refresh, Renew, Revive. Colorado Springs. Focus on the Family.

Minirth, F., Hawkins, D., Meier, P.& Thurman, C. (1990). Before Burnout. Moody Press

Oswald, R.M. (1991). Clergy Self Care. New York. The Alban Institute.

Peterson, E. (1983). Run with Horses. The Quest for Life at Its Best. Ilinois. InterVarsity Press.

Rassieur, C.L. (1982). Stress Management for Ministers. Philadelphia. The Westminster Press.

Rush, M. (1987). Burnout. Practical Help for Lives out of Balance. Wheaton. Victor Books.

Stevens, R.P. & Collins, P. (1993). The Equipping Pastor. New York. The Alban Institute

Wohlrabe, L.R. (2001). Clergy Burnout: Definitions, Causes, Incidence, Responses. Term Paper.
Luther Seminary.

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Contact

Write to me if you would like further personal support or if you would like to host a workshop for
clergy in your area

Dr Stanley Arumugam

_arumugam@yahoo.com

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END

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