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The Best Of

Aaron Lemon
The Best Of

Aaron Lemon

Pithy visual puns, from the sub-lime to the acridiculous

Pithy visual puns, fromCaf

by The the sub-lime to the acridiculous
From an original concept by R. Nilsson7
by The Caf
Foreword by Jamie Redknapp

FOREWORD by Jamie Redknapp

William Shakespeare, no fool himself, literally wrote, “What’s in

a name?” - and how unbelievably true that is. Well this book
takes that concept and totally runs with it to a certain extent.
The result is what you see before you: The Best of Aaron Lemon.
The fruit – literally! – of a labour of love, it shows the ingenuity
of a group of lads of whom we don’t often hear much of: I’m
talking about the online gimp community. It is no exaggeration
whatever to say they represent a vast untapped reservoir, literally,
of creative talent. To me it’s totally inspiring to see what can be
achieved when they put their minds together and their cocks

Jamie Redcap away for a few minutes or in some cases weeks in all fairness.

The work falls into two categories, it says here in these notes I’ve been given: “Some images, like
the eponymous Aaron Lemon, delight in the raw superimposition of incongruous images whose very
shoddiness of presentation constitutes much of their hilarity.” Others are more polished, literally,
while some images, such as Terry Butcher, haven’t been added to at all. As someone once said -
probably Shakespeare again no doubt - “If variety is the spice of life, I’ll have the Chicken Jalfrezi.”

But above all, this collection says something about footballers, which are a subject I know a certain
amount about, having been fortunate to have been one myself for a fair few years, barring injury.
Players take a lot of stick at times – literally - but at the end of the day they’re decent lads who just
like a bit of fun, whether they find it playing, roasting, pursuing a quiet career in the media, or out
walking a dog with the head of Des Lynam. If this book goes some way to getting that message
across, then it won’t, ironically, have been a waste of time.

Aaron Lemon
Giuseppe Mascara Cesc Fibreglass

Yoyo Toure Gong Fangzhuo

Hérita Ill-lunga Craig Bell-Amy

Owen Half-Greaves
Jimmy Grieves

Neon Osman Stuart Ripply

Pat Rice Evra
Feel Brown

Thierry Henry
Sotirios Carry-Argos

Jamie Car-rager Ron old O

Marco Paperazzi Hugo Rod-a-Sega

David Bentley
Ricardo Car-value

Joseph Hobo Jimmy Bollard

Stephen Warcock

Nigel Rio-Choker
Clarence Sleigh-dwarf

Paul Mince Terry Butcher

Grincha You Say B.O.



Diego Madonna
Bobby Carlton Bobby Mwaor!

Michel Plateeny
Van delay Luxembourg – oh! Lars Lagerback

Dino’s off!

Roberto Mankini

Dick Avocado
Aussie Ardiles German Defoe

Gael Cliché Nigel de Bong

Hasan Sally-hammered zits Diniyar Billy-he-let-Dean-off

Andrei Can-Chelskis
Sinisa Me-hail-a-witch
Geordie Cruyff Johann Crufts

Kenny Dog-leash and Danny Shit too

Darren Fetcher

Des Walker
Javier Her-nan-Des
Luis Boa More-tea?

Pascal Chimphonda
Phil Jaggy Elk, aargh!

Nicolas An elk? Ah…

(Celebration explained.)

Bastian Swine’s-tiger

Held a Posh tiger

Mike Feline

Bruce Gobble-argh!

Temuri Cats-buyer

Henk Ten Cats

Dan Pet Rescue

Robin van Persil

Karel Po-Borg-Ski

Julien Faux-bear
Celestial Baby, arrow Marcus Bubble

Sir Alex Fergie’s-son

Lionel Messy
Sean Write-Phillips

Gabriel Batty’s tutor

Eric Canton ‘R’

Frank de Bore
Denis Borg-camp

Peter’s Mike Hall

Ole Gunnar’s Sol Shire

Knobby Stiles

Rude van Nistelrooy

Landon Doner van

Lee Cater-mole


Bobby Can I Have Zamorra

Alessandro Delpy-Aero
Jimmy Carr’s Suburban Toff

Scimitar Turbot’s off

Limit Marr’s Burger-scoff

Ricardo Fuller

Papa Boob Job

Gabriel Ubertan

Roque Banter Cruz

Just in Fashion, ooooooooo!!

Jorge Camp-pose
The Kevin Nolan Sisters Esther-fan Cambiaso

Andrés In Fiesta Martin Dahl-in

Nyron Notworthy
Andrei Arse-shavin’ Mark van Bum-Mel

Shag a Hislop

Carlos Defiled-a-llama

George Gayram
Dean Windass Tim Gayhill

Stewart Drowning Pierre Lit-bar-ski

John Highthinker Jermaine Genius

Tom Hubble-Throne
Marc Overmars

Obafemi’s Martians
Pierluigi (Hadron) Collida
Trevor Sink-Lair & Danny Higgs-Boson

Alain Boom-song

Younes Kaboom
Joely on Les cut
Less Ferdinand

Post-Mortem Gamst Pedersen

Sulky Moon-Terry Jason Macca-tears

Joseph Desire a Job

Jan Mend the Door and Then the Sink

Ronnie Wallwork

Silvain Distant

Pier Luigi Cleaner

Jimmy Floyd Hassle-bank Bertie Votes

Anti-Niemi Stefan Cunts

Jam, vinegar of Hess sell ink

Martin Ledley King Jurgen Klansmann

Gary Palestine Gaza

Georgitoss Some-Arabs

Bedouin Van der Sar

Giovanni trap-a-Tony
Alf Injure Haaland

Alan Why, Lee?

Guys echo “Mendy ate her!”

Júlio César
Stefan Freud & his Superego

Cruella Neville

Neil Warlock

The Adams Family

Javier Mass-Cyrano

Ken Monk-cow

The Archbishop Desmond Mutu

Fernando Hierronymus Bosch

Ryan Babel
Mark Kin-seller
Silvain Wheel-tard
Adrian Moo Two

Martin Lol

Steve Bold Cafu

Thomas Berthold

Praise for The Best of Aaron Lemon:

Praise for The Best of Aaron Lemon:
“Had me in peels of laughter” – TLS “Ex-squeeze-it!” - Nigella Lawson
“Had me in peels of laughter” – TLS “Ex-squeeze-it!” - Nigella Lawson
“Some segments are pretty juicy” “It’s just a bitter good fun” – Barbara Windsor
– News
“Some segments are pretty juicy”of– the
of the World “It’s just a bitter good fun” – Barbara Windsor

“If“If you’relooking
you’re looking for
terriblepuns, thisthis
puns, book will really
book do citric.”
will really - Arsene-Wenger
do citric.” Arsene Wenger
“Skill. Creativity. Technique. And when you talk about commitment...unbelievable.” – Alan Hansen
“Skill. Creativity. Technique. And when you talk about commitment...unbelievable.”
“Su’agoaws.” – Frank Lampard – Alan Hansen
“Su’agoaws.” – Frank Lampard
“Quite the “Quite
amusingread.” – Nick 0208
coffee-table Ldn – Nick 0208 Ldn
“There are absolutely no copyright issues here – and you can quote me on that.” - Mike Up North
“There are absolutely no copyright issues with this book – and you can quote me on that.”
“Hey, wasn’t this, like, my idea?” – Evan Dando - Mike Up North
“Hey…wasn’t this, like, my idea?” – Evan Dando
“I’m finding it hard to read.” – Aaron Lemon
“I’m finding it hard to read.” – Aaron Lemon