ASTRAL TRAVELS

Written by A Lazy Writer

CONTENT
*Chapter One - Food
(verse 1) Deep Fried Marathon
(verse 2) A Need For Greed In The Face Of Abundance
(verse 3) Yellow And Brown Swirly Chocolate Pie And Custard
*Chapter Two - Care Support Working
(verse 1) Arti Intel The Care Support Worker
(verse 2) Looking after the vulnerables
(verse 3) The Visit
(verse 4) What Did He Reply?
*Chapter Three - Holiday Vacation
(verse 1) Dream Logic
(verse 2) Inspired
(verse 3) The Cockles Of His Heart
*Chapter Four - Criminal Behaviour
(verse 1) Taking Cover
(verse 2) The Scene
(verse 3) 'This Geezer'
*Chapter Five - Astral, Family And Friend
(verse 1) Reluctant
(verse 2) Met Het Yet?
(verse 3) Grow Up!
(verse 4) Neighbourhood Watch
(verse 5) Screams And Dreams Witin Dreams
(verse 6) What?
(verse 7) Tested
(verse 8) An Orgy And Family Fun
*Chapter Six - Astral Thoughts
(verse 1) Old School
(verse 2) Talking Is Incorrect
(verse 3) Tiny Planet
(verse 4) Inductive Reason Is Not Proof
(verse 5) 'Fold It'

*Chapter Seven - Unwanted Musician

(verse 1) Positions Please
(verse 2) Back In The Warehouse
(verse 3) There Was Only Distain
(verse 4) With That, That Is Within The Delivery
(verse 5) Wake Up!
*Chapter Eight - Down In The Toilet
(verse 1) This Crap Job
(verse 2) Oi! Fart Arse!
*Chapter Nine - Off Track
(verse 1) Terms And Conditions
(verse 2) Arti Intel Goes Rouge
*Chapter Ten - The Asian Aspect
(verse 1) The Piss Take
(verse 2) Manipulation
(verse 3) Public Transport
*Chapter Eleven - Presentations
(verse 1) Presenting himself
(verse 2) Remember Roy Castle?
*Chapter Twelve - Other Consciousness
(verse 1) Dog Fish
(verse 2) A Ghostly Appearance
(verse 3) The Technician
(verse 4) Shifting Realities
*Chapter Thirteen - I'm Happy And I Know It
(verse 1) Roll Up, Roll Up
(verse 2) The Book Of Life
(verse 3) Women Who Orginise
(verse 4) Astrals Dream Girl

Chapter One - Food

(verse 1) Deep Fried Marathon
(verse 2) A Need For Greed In The Face Of Abundance
(verse 3) Yellow And Brown Swirly Chocolate Pie And Custard

(verse 1) Deep Fried Marathon

Astral was with his friend Muhammad at the pavilion. They were going
out on a motorcycle. Astral was going pillion, but before they did

they had to take the panions off, then this old lady called them.
Muhammad had been quizing this lady previously. She showed them a
fancy twenty pence piece with colourful enscriptions on it and
Astral asked her if she had seen the new plastic five pound note. So
Muhammad was asking this old lady some questions and she was
interested to answer. Astral was fascinated by her hair and the way
that it had been cut. It had been cut really short at the back, but
there were small fuzzy dots within this really short hair at the
back and sides and the rest of her hair was longish and a dark brown
in colour. Astral was doing some deep fried cooking outside. Some
other people had set it all up. Astral was very conscious of those
people around him. He was concerned that he would get in their way
as he was putting all sorts of food in the deep fat fryer, but he
could not find all the utensils that he needed, so Astral was
running about trying to find these utensils. It was like a marathon
where every so often there are tables set up, but instead of cups of
water they had food and deep fat fryers. There was a tray full of
dough for making pizza afterwards, for when they had done with the
deep fat frying. So when Astral did finally find the utensils and
some plates and he had got back to the deep fat fryer, the food that
Astral had put into the deep fat fryer had been taken out and there
was no trace of the food anywhere.
There used to be a chocolate bar called a 'Marathon' before the
name was changed to 'Snickers.' If you took a chocolate bar like
this into your local fish and chip shop then they would batter it
and deep fat fry it for you. Probably the fattiest and most
unhealthy meal imaginable.
(verse 2) A Need For Greed In The Face Of Abundance
Dreaming of an abundance of words, the abundance of words was
represented by the word 'all', which sat on the top of a pile of
other words and these words became a slice of bread. So Astral ate
the slice of bread and the problem was solved.
(verse 3) Yellow And Brown Swirly Chocolate Pie And Custard
It was a quiz on food. You had to answer the question in two parts.
If you got the questions right, you got the food. Astral had his eye
on a yellow and brown swirly chocolate pie And custard. There was a
black lad and Astral was being polite. He was wondering did the
black lad want the pudding? Astral smiled at him as he made his way
to hold the silvery spoon in the yellow and brown swirly chocolate
pie And custard. The black lad was okay with Astral and so he was
thinking that it would be okay for him to have this pudding, but
then Astral had to disappear before he could get a chance to eat it.

Chapter Two - Care Support Working

(verse
(verse
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4)

Arti Intel The Care Support Worker

Looking after the vulnerables
The Visit
What Did He Reply?

(verse 1) Arti Intel The Care Support Worker

Astral was back in his old job looking after people who had
challenging behaviour. He was spending all his time stopping a
female client from scratching people and himself with her nails. The
other staff were mostly leaving it to Astral to deal with her. He
met another staff member who he had not seen for a long time, but
she looked different to how she used to look. She had become much
calmer, more distant. He looked into her eyes as she was helping him
to restrain this lady. He wondered if she still recognised him, but
she was cool and unreadable.
(verse 2) Looking after the vulnerables
Astral was traveling with a group of people. Some of these people
were care support workers and some of these people were Their
service user clients. They were discretely discussing how their
service user clients were getting on and some of the difficulties
that they were facing. So as the care support workers were sharing
their concerns for their service user clients. It was all a bit
vague, but there was another female care support worker who Astral
was talking to and they were talking about somewhere called
Liverplace, not Liverpool but Liverplace. This all appears bland now
because the sublties of their discussions have been lost in the
vauguity of Astrals recall.
(verse 3) The Visit
Astral went away with his old work friend Muhammad. Muhammad took
Astral for a spin in his car at very high speed. They checked into a
hotel and went to their seperate rooms. Astral left his card in a
machine reader in his room and the staff behind the desk reminded
Astral to take out his card and he thanked her for reminding him.
The hotel then became more hospitaly. It became clinical. Astrals
mum and his sister were there. Astrals sister was relying on her mum
and she was telling her mum how helpful she was, just by being
there. Astral was getting bored just listening to their
conversations so he decided to go off. So he walked away and in this
clinical setting was a lad in a wheelchair who Astral had gone to
visit, although he did not know who this lad was? This lad was
messing around strapping Astral up with straps from the lads
wheelchair. Astral was going along with this knowing that he could
easily get out of it, but then the lad in the wheelchair suddenly
seemed to have a siesure. Astral called staff. A male nurse came
rushing over, then the lad in the wheelchair miraculously became
okay again and Astral let him out through a door into the next room.
Astral asked him, are you allowed in this room and the lad in the
wheelchair reassured him, but Astral was not too sure about this so
on leaving Astral told the male nurse what he had done and the nurse
said that that was okay. Astral went outside, it was nice and sunny.
There was a school next door and behind a very high brick wall you
could see a fountain shooting up behind the wall. Astral had a
packet of cigarettes in his hand and he was struggling to get into
the packet, because he had opened them up upside down, or so
Astral thought, but then the cigarettes were the right way up,

but the silver foil was folded over them so they had been packed
wrong. Then Astral pulled out a skinny roll up that he had put in
there previously. He thought as he pulled it out 'I don't know why I
have saved that in there because I will not want to smoke it.' So
then he pulled out a filter cigarette and he was smoking that.
Suddenly over the wall where the school was these fountain spouts
started to act strange. There was a massive pressure of water and it
came out like a water cannon high up into the air. Suddenly there
was a rumble and someone shouted, "What's that!" and as Astral
looked into the distance there was a massive tidal wave. Astral
thought 'that's a tsunami' and someone said, "We are living in
strange times." At first Astral was concerned with his safety but
then he became more relaxed and carried on enjoying his cigarette
and as he looked out into the distance the wave became irridescent.
It was blurring into rainbow colours. It was a very impressive
sight. Later it started snowing and Astral watched the flakes of
snow gently descend to the ground as he carried on smoking his
cigarette. The distant view had become grey.
(verse 4) What Did He Reply?
Astral wasn't fully asleep but in his dreaminess he was cycling down
a road and he passed these people coming the opposite way. One of
them said, "Hey! watch it, he is liable to lash out, he will direct
it" and this man demonstrated this in slow motion with his own fist
up to his own jaw line. Astral got the sense that this man was more
of a correctional officer than a care support worker and this man
had five dodgy people with him. There was a tall man to the right of
the correctional officer and he looked like he might be autistic.
This was the man that Astral was warned about and the man that
Astral had cycled closest to from the opposite direction. There was
another man to the left of the correctional officer and three more
in a wheelchair being pushed along. They were all sat in a row. One
in the front, one in the middle and one at the back. By this time
Astral had cycled past and he was looking back. Astral said to the
correctional officer, "They make you work don't they?" The
correctional officers reply was incoherant and Astral was trying to
understand what had just been said when ...

Chapter Three - Holiday Vacation

(verse 1) Dream Logic
(verse 2) Inspired
(verse 3) The Cockles Of His Heart

(verse 2) Dream Logic

Astral was meditating on a sandy beach by the sea and as he did so
he tried to work out how long he had meditated for. Through a
diagonal lattice, in his minds eye Astral could see if he had
meditated for an odd number of days or an even number of days and to
see if he had meditated for an odd number of nights or an even
number of nights. The diagonal lattice was a map of linear and non

linear timelines and so in his meditative state he did his

subconscious calculations.
(verse 3) Inspired
Astral was dreaming about the sunny foriegn beach as a relaxing
piano jazz song. Mahammad was there, the god like womanizer, cool
dude. Astral was determined to get to the sandy sunny beach as he
checked out of this building with a circular doorway entrance. He
made sure that he was on that dream beach and enjoying the sunshine
freedom of his travel. Astral then made his way back to the large
building. He came back through a different entrance. Two privilaged
people got in Astrals way briefly as they walked across his path in
front of him to get to a table and sit down resting their baggage.
Astral had witnessed Mahammad the god like womanizer, casually and
cooly socialising on the beach. 'So why could I not be that cool?'
Astral thought to himself as he made his modest way in comparison to
Mahammad. Mahammad was truly an inspiration.
(verse 4) The Cockles Of His Heart
Astral had his little white tub of cockles as he drove up in his
massive motor home. He made a wrong turn, looking back he could see
the arrow pointing to the double doors that he should have driven
through, but he carried on driving on a pedestrian way. There were
signs and symbols and arrows pointing here there and everyway as he
drove ever higher up the green slopes. As he found himself and his
motor home in the highest room in the house. Astral had a problem
though. There was only parking for the disabled. He looked around
and all the parking spaces had disabled symbols in them. He took his
sealed white round tub of cockles out of his pocket and place them
on a table in the room before descending the steep decline in his
motor home down the green ramps. Astral was aware of a large group
of pedestrians outside the building. So he descends the steepness
of the decline, it was a bit overwhelming for him, and so cautiously
he slowly managed to manouver his huge motor home, his massive
motor down these green cliff like ramps. Astral had a knowing that
he would meet the pedestrians ascending as he made his descent. He
also knew that they would be going up into the room where he had
left his cockles. 'I should really have put those cockles in the
fridge and here I am driving down a pedestrian way.' These were his
thoughts and he was unsure of himself.

Chapter Four - Criminal Behaviour

(verse 1) Taking Cover
(verse 2) The Scene
(verse 3) 'This Geezer'
(verse 1) Taking Cover
Astral could hear noisy aircraft so he was hiding out from the
aircraft as a voice in his head said, "Do you think that they cannot
get you from there?" Astral hid a little better and the voice in his
head said, "Good." It looked like it was a helicopter. Cream in

colour as Astral saw it breifly between two buildings in the

distance.
(verse 2) The Scene
People wanted to know details about a bridge and the police force
who were represented by this man with a megaphone, was shouting
out the details. People came rushing to get the details, but only
the first person to arrive got the details, 'because people wanted
to know.' But on giving the details across they were fumbled and the
details tumbled and the people were unhappy as to how the details
were handled. Astral was on the bridge during the whole time. It was
a pedestrian bridge with ramps either side. What the bridge was
going over is a bit unclear as it was foggy, but Astral thought that
it might have been a river? This is probably one of the details
mishandled by the police. Astral was an observer in this scene. He
was not the police and he was not the public rushing forward for
details. It was a young lad about twenty years old who arrived at
the police first followed by some women. The fumbling between the
lad and the police was represented by a square which was about an
inch square and as it tumbled, it tumbled down through a model of
the foot bridge. It was clear to see in the publics eyes that they
were annoyed. It was a silent disgust aimed at the police through
the eyes of the public who were indignant. As with so many other
details there was much more to this story that has been
unremembered. what has led up to this scene has been unremembered?

(verse 1) 'This Geezer'

They were having a bit of banter 'This Geezer' and Astral. 'This
Geezer' had thick dark side burns and a dark mustache and spoke in a
gruff voice. They were slowley chasing each other in old fashioned
gangster cars and coming up with catch phrases. 'This Geezer' came
up with "Don't chase me round again" and Astral came up with "Don't
say those words again." There were others there too who were also
involved. It all came to a head when 'This Geezer', who Astral had
never met before, pranged his car. The next thing Astral notices
that the pavement is opening up and 'This Geezer' drives himself and
his car under his own house. Astral watched in detail as the
pavement closes back up and seals back up with 'This Geezers' six
foot high house wall. With that Astral finds that he is on his own,
everyone has gone.

Chapter Five - Astral, Family And Friend

(verse
(verse
(verse
(verse
(verse
(verse
(verse
(verse

1)
2)
3)
4)
5)
6)
7)
8)

Reluctant
Met Het Yet?
Grow Up!
Neighbourhood Watch
Screams And Dreams Witin Dreams
What?
Tested
An Orgy And Family Fun

(verse 1) Reluctant
Astral was put into a position where he had to look after a baby.
The parents just went off without taking their baby and he was left
with this baby in the street. Astral could not just leave the baby.
Somehow he found himself in someones house and these people were
fussing the baby. Astral felt guilty that he had not looked after
the baby properly. Astral had a melt down and exclaimed, "I can't
look after the baby I'm only 12! Not really I'm 35." The people
laughed at Astral and he retorted, "I need to get the police. Does
anyone know whose baby this is?" But nobody knew the parents of the
baby.

(verse 2) Met Het Yet?

Astrals sister said, "I was talking to Hetty Hothead yesterday and I
said to her, you are the drama queen and she said, "Oh no I'm not
the drama queen, thank you."" Astrals sister was talking to Astral
on the phone which was different, because they had just been talking
face to face in the previous instance. This was also unusual because
Astrals sister does not know Hetty Hothead, as Hetty Hothead is
Astrals ex girlfriends friend. Astrals sister has never met Hetty
Hothead as they live thirty miles away from each other and are in
very different social circles. Previously before the telephone call,
Astrals memory had gone vague, but he did remember that there was
Muhammad and Astrals sisters husband there. Astral thought that
Muhammad and he were talking about music? Astral is not too sure
about that though.

(verse 3) Grow Up!

It was like Astral was in a discussion group. There were three of
them. Astral, Astrals dad and some chap who was saying that the
lyrics of old songs are better. They were also talking about how bad
it was to play practical jokes on fathers' day. As they were talking
Astral had made a model out of nails and he was playing with it.
Moving it around with his hands like a child would to animate it and
he was saying, "Exterminate, exterminate." Like a Dalek from Dr Who.
Astral thought to himself 'I'm being childish' and so Astral
casually threw the model of nails to the ground. There was more to
this discussion group, but this last scene is all that Astral can
remember after searching his mind for a little while. Astral thought
that the premise of the discussion group was that things had not
progressed for the better, which was a case in point about practical
jokes on fathers' day and that the lyrics to songs were much better
written than the lyrics of the new songs that we get now.

(verse 4) Neighbourhood Watch

Astral had the feeling that he was living on a caravan site and he
was playing his guitar. He noticed that there was someone, down hill
across the way. Astral thought, 'I hope that I am not disturbing the
neighbours with my guitar playing.' The next thing he knows the

neighbour is showing him his rifle and it is fixed to a stand and

the neighbour is demonstrating to Astral how the rifle and stand
works. His neighbour is leaning on his rifle and stand whilst aiming
to fire, but he is aiming in all directions quickly as if there are
moving targets. Astral would go out with his guitar in a cloth case
that he strapped to his back and so Astral was thinking, 'I bet he
thinks that it is a fishing rod and that I go fishing.' So Astral
explained to his neighbour that he does not go fishing, but that he
likes to go down by the river to play his guitar. So then Astral was
looking for a guitar amp. He had the choice of two amps, he chose
the smaller one. His neighbour said, "That's a small amp." and
Astral said, "Yes, It's a practice amp." Astral noticed that the
plug was broken. It did not have the copper earth pin in it. So
Astral was looking for another plug to fix this one and he noticed
another plug without an earth pin in it. He was thinking, 'Why are
all these plugs without earth pins?' So then they just hung out and
listened to music and had a chat before his neighbours children
came. On their arrival his neighbour said that he would have to go.
Astral did not know who this man was. He remembered his personality
and what he looked like, but he does not know him. He does not
recognise him from anywhere. When they were chatting Astral was
explaining how he was not working. Astral was trying to find some
common ground. Astral asked his neighbour "what sort of music do you
like?" His neighbour didn't quite hear Astral with the music on. The
neighbour asked Astral, "What did you say?", but Astral did not
repeate himself. He got the impression that his neighbour was more
into hunting and fishing. Astral was living on his own so it was
good to have a short casual chat with a neighbour that he had not
met before.

(verse 5) Screams And Dreams Witin Dreams

Astral was asleep and in his sleep he was dreaming that he was
asleep dreaming. In that dream Astral was consciously trying to be
happy by singing in his sleep. He was singing so that the darkness
could not get to him. This was a lucid dream because in his sleep he
knew that he was asleep and he was concerned that he might be
singing in the waking world whilst he was singing in his sleep.
Astral imagined that he was loud and noisily disturbing the
household as he was sleeping, then there was a short scream from the
bedroom next door. It was Astrals sister, Astral thought, 'that is
not the first time that she has screamed. I wonder if she is having
a nightmare or maybe she can hear my singing and I am disturbing
her?' Astral was singing a song that he had made up in the moment:
'Forever Is Where I Go Now.' There was a chill down Astrals spine as
he woke up. Astral thought that he was in his old bedroom, waking up
in his old bed from forty years ago. Astral was looking around to
get orientated when he woke up in his real bed. There were chills
still going down his spine as he started to recall what had just
happened. He was hoping that his sister was okay.

(verse 6) What?
Astrals ex partner and her sister were looking for each other to
become water sisters?

(verse 7) Tested
Astral was lamenting how spiritually undeveloped he was, but then he
had the idea that he was limitated and that maybe it was not as bad
as he first thought. Astral was sat on a bus next to his ex partners
sister and his ex partner was there too. They were testing their
blood and there was a trace of a drop of blood. Astrals ex partner
said, "Yes, that's how it goes." They pricked their thumbs and
that's how they were testing to see if a drop of blood showed up in
a black tray that looked a bit like an egg box with its individual
compartments. At the bottom of these individual compartments was
where they looked to see if they could see a drop of blood and in
one of these compartments there was a drop of blood.

(verse 8) An Orgy And Family Fun

Astral met his cousin and he gave her a kiss and they talked whilst
he went to bed. His cousin was sat on the end of Astrals bed whilst
they were talking just as an unknown girl joined him in his bed. She
was playing with him and they were having fun. There were other
people there, many other people noisily having fun, laughing and
screaming it was an orgy of fun ...
... Astral had travelled and there was himself, his sister and his
dad. Astrals sister said, "Astral's brown. I bet he's as brown as
you dad, yes he is." as she took a closer look.
Although there was nothing untoward going on here. Astral realised
that orgy and family fun made dodgy bed fellows.

Chapter Six - Astral Thoughts

(verse
(verse
(verse
(verse

1)
2)
3)
4)

Old School
Talking Is Incorrect
Tiny Planet
Inductive Reason Is Not Proof

(verse 1) Old School

Astral was sitting a test in class and he had written many
paragraghs before handing it in. Later in the class as the tutor was
marking the tests he held up Astrals test and said whilst laughing
"You know you are very lucky with this one." Astral knew what he
meant because he had written in a style that was so genric that it
only answered the test in a very superficial way. Astral was
wondering if he would get away with it, but then he thought to
himself, 'Well that IS my style of writing.'

(verse 2) Talking Is Incorrect

x plus x equals talking. He went crazy writing on Astral stabbing

him with his pen. Astral was with a lady and she was suprised at
what he did to Astral, but that is what you get when you do
mathematics with challeging behaviour.

(verse 3) Tiny Planet

There was a pea on a spherical octahedron walking around on it like
it was a tiny planet. Astral thought that the pea was reading a news
paper, but on further inspection he realised that it was a map of
equilateral triangles each of which had a different colour that
corresponded to the triangles on the spherical octahedron that the
pea was walking on. This tiny planet was infinitly large because it
could rotated with any infinite number of degrees and so it had a
dark side that the pea could never walk to.

(verse 4) Inductive Reason Is Not Proof

Astral had been talking to extra terrestrials. They were Pleiadian
and he could only remember a problem that he was given. The
Pleiadians just said, "Create 28 from 47?" Astral soon came up with
(2^2)((2^3)-1) = 4 x 7 = 28 and the answer was perfect. After a
little more thought Astral decided that (2^(P-1))((2^P)-1) is always
perfect if P is a prime number, but he did not know how to prove it.

(verse 5) 'Fold It'

Astral was in a group of people beings called 'number beings', just
a 'fold it.' The collective noun for number beings. Astral could be
any number, just like he can be any number base in which to work
from.

Chapter Seven - Unwanted Musician

(verse 1) Positions Please
(verse 2) Back In The Warehouse
(verse 3) There Was Only Distain
(verse 1) Positions Please
Astral had a double bass and he was really trying to play the double
bass nicely. He was thinking that he was playing okay. It was in a
big hall full of people. There were a lot of Chinese people there.
The double bass had holes in it to sing through about an inch or two
and a half centimeters in diameter. So as Astral was playing his
double bass, he was not confident and there were some youngsters who
were laughing at him and his playing of the double bass. Next thing
there was an activity. Astral had never heard anyone say anything to
him, he just knew that he had to assemble with some of the other

people in the hall. Astral was walking across the hall with his
double bass and as he was assembling with the other people he
realized that he was the only one with a double bass. It was then
that Astral realised that they were all to meet up to sing. They
were supposed to sing through these holes. So Astral clumsily rested
his double bass by the wall under the window and then he finally got
himself into place.

(verse 2) Back In The Warehouse

Two of Astrals friends were round and they were talking music and
playing guitar. Astral asked one of his friends "What can you play?"
As his friend had his accoustic guitar with him and he was strumming
a little. Astrals other friend said "Send me your email when you are
in Germany and we will send you some of our stuff that we do."
Astral said okay and he went off and he was walking out and it was a
warehouse. Astral passed someone else who had just walked in.
Astral aknowledged him, but he did not know him. Astral was just
going to walk out the building when he thought 'I've forgotten my
guitar.' Astral was going back for his guitar and the man who Astral
aknowledeged was opening up some shutters. The shutters were
operated by chains and they hung down to the ground. As the chains
were being pulled down, the shutters were being lifted up
vertically.

(verse 3) There Was Only Distain

Astral was complaining that there was nowhere private anywhere for
him to play his accoustic guitar. There was a lad from Astrals last
place of work. Astral was in some kind of stadium. He was guessing
that it was for horse racing. There were some dodgy people there and
Astral was not confident to play his guitar there. When Astral was
talking to the lad who Astral used to work with, it was like a
battle. The lad who Astral used to work with didn't seem to believe
what Astral told him. He was quite negative in his conversation and
yet Astral cannot remember any specific details about what they
spoke about. There was an air of mistrust, mainly because of those
people in the background that Astral was aware of, but who never
approached him. Earlier on in this episode there was a female
who Astral was shuned by, but it was all very vague and Astral
couldn't recollect it. This episode was a very negative episode.
Everyone in this episode was negative. Even those people in the
background who did not speak were watching Astral from a distance in
a suspicious way. Astral was trying to win them over with his talk
and his guitar playing. Astral was playing the best stuff that he
knew on guitar. He was singing the best songs he knew. He was
choosing his words carefully when he spoke to people, but the people
were not on his side. At first Astral didn't see it. Nothing
negative registered with him, but then after a while, slowly little
snip bits of this episode came together like a jigsaw puzzle, but
with many pieces missing.
(verse 4) With That, That Is Within The Delivery
The post woman was out doing her rounds. Astral greeted her and put
his arm around her. She had a base ball bat and a base ball with
her. She threw them both up into the air and caught the base ball
bat which became short and thick and stubby. The base ball bat had

gotten so short and stubby that at first glance it looked like a

rugby ball. The base ball bounced freely along the ground and Astral
swept it up in his hands to give it back to the post woman. She
smiled at Astral as she went on her merry way and he watched her
cycle off in her mottled black and white clothing which had two
round lumps as the short stumpy base ball bat and the base ball had
been stuffed under her clothes. She briefly stopped to look at two
of Astrals solid guitar cases standing side by side with their
guitars in, that Astral had situated about one hundred meteres down
the road, before she carried on cycling into the distance.
(verse 5) Wake Up!
Astral was at a residential college for music and there were
students with disabilities. There was a girl there who was so small,
she looked like a doll. People were saying that she looked so happy
and Astral was wondering if she had been sniffing something. There
was some dating going on and there was an attractive girl that
Astral was seeing, but the relationship faded off. Astrals mum was
also there. He was aware that she was in the background sometimes as
they all socialized. Astral had a nice bed and he hung his plastic
bag on the end of his bed and went to bed which is then when he woke
up.

Chapter Eight - Down In The Toilet

(verse 1) This Crap Job
Astral was at work and he's talking about how all the doors do not
fit. He was having a right good moan about this. He was talking to
the maintenance man and saying to him, "I think that the others have
heard me talking about the doors not fitting." The maintanence man
gets upset exclaiming, "They know that we've been talking!" Astral
said "Well it is about your job. You are allowed to talk about your
job." Astral was very aware of an attractive lass who worked there.
All the doors that didn't fit were toilet doors and the maintanence
man had a cubical for an office at the end of the row of toilets.
The attractive lass who worked there and a manager would have over
heard Astral talking from another room out of the toilet area and
Astral was aware that he might have been talking too much.

(verse 2) Oi! Fart Arse!

Astral was at this house in the gardens and it was like a crazy
party. There were people chasing each other, people asleep under
shrubery. Astral saw an old work friend and they were having a chat
when Astral farted. It was silent but smelly. Astrals work friend
did not know that Astral had farted at first but then Astrals work
friend smelt it. He made a fuss and ran off. Astrals work friend and

Astral had both done up their push bikes and were there to sell
them. Astrals work friend had not been very confident about selling
his push bike, which Astral thought was odd, because he was usually
confident. So Astral went looking for his friend to tell him that he
too was there to sell a push bike that he had done up and what ware
the chances of that?

Chapter Nine - Off Track

(verse 1) Terms And Conditions
Astral was driving trains and these trains would get damaged. Odds
were being placed on these trains being damaged and it was possibly
to make some money like this. One train was being disputed on how it
was being fixed and only certain fixations were alowed to be used.

(verse 2) Arti Intel Goes Rouge

Astral remembered seeing a flying train crash. He watched it as it
came off its horizontal launch pad. The train was high up and
essentially it was driven off a cliff. Astral watched it as the big
clumbering mass arced, arched downwards. Astral wondered what it was
going to crash into at first and then there was an unreal splash as
two columns of water shot up into the air and arced, arched back in
opposite ways to each other like two chunky water snakes. Astral
could hear almighty quenching sounds of the crash as the heat of the
crash reacted quenching it into the river water. Astral was excited
that the train had crashed. It was in the direction where he was
heading back through, but then he felt guilty for being so excited
about a disaster like this. So Astral was heading back and he had
his push bike with him. He had gotten off his push bike and was
walking with it because the ground was grassy and uneven. He was
doubious about going over this land because it was not a public
space and he was not permitted to cross this land. Astral was not
comfortable with trespassing. So as he got close to the crash site,
he first heard a fuss and then some shouting and he saw a military
man pointing his rifle. It was not pointing at Astral. The military
man was silhouetted up to the right of Astral on higher ground and
he was pointing his rifle in the opposite direction to Astral, as he
was shouting and ordering aggressively to people who were out of
sight from Astral. Astral thought 'Shit!' He hasn't seen me, so
Astral gingerly carried on making his way across this waste grass
land and then suddenly he was spotted. Before he knew it he was
intermingling with the other people who were being rounded up and
he, like these other people, was reluctant to go in the direction
that they were instructed to go. So by now Astral was walking
without his push bike and there was a woman who was watching him and
was there to entice them all to go through this narrow pass to be
detained. Astral recognized this woman, it was Arti Intel. He went
up to her and they connected. It seemed to Astral that she was not
happy with her job role, with having to round them all up like they
were sheep and all. So together they made their exit incognito from
this private wasteland and onto a more public space.

Chapter Ten - Ali The Asian Aspect

(verse 1) The Piss Take
All that Ali remembered was that he was talking to someone? He
was telling them about someone who he was talking to on the phone
and Ali started to immitate their accent. It was a cross between
Pakistani and Jamacian. Ali was aware of someone who was sat on a
step. He was wearing white robes and he was smiling at the accent
that Ali was immitating. This was in a predestrianized street and
there were buildings with scaffolding up. Ali had been looking at
different types of vegatables.

(verse 2) Manipulation
'This man' came over to Ali saying that he wanted to talk to him. He
was a foriegn man, because his vernacular was unusual to Ali. Ali
was expecting 'this man' to talk to him, but he wanted Ali to phone
him and then 'this man' went off, just walked away. Ali thought to
himself, 'I don't want to talk to him.' Ali was thinking that 'this
man' wanted his frying pan. This would be a problem because Ali
wanted to do some cooking. It was this lasses wedding that day. So
Ali was doing this cooking with his frying pan, thinking that he
should ring 'this man', but Ali could not bring himself around to do
this. Ali remembered watching this lass with her wedding clothes on
and they were not traditional wedding clothes. Ali mainly remembered
her putting on her very thick platform shoes. She had skinny jeans
on and a cream and silver cardigan, but she was about seven foot
tall and she was about to stand up in these platform shoes. Ali was
thinking, 'She's like a tall girl on stilts.' He noticed she had dark
hair and it just ended there.

(verse 3) Public Transport

Ali was on a crowded bus and people were smoking. There was a
Russian and he was smoking stolen cigarettes. The bus was full of
people and there was a lot of casual chatter. Ali was talking to
someone sat close to the Russian who was smoking and they were
discussing about the Russian smoking stolen cigarettes. Ali was
careful not to be too obvious that they were talking about the
Russian. Ali knew he was Russian because he had previously spoken
to the Russian. They discussed his smoking, but his Russian accent
was strong and it was difficult to communicate. Ali spoken to the
Russian as the Russian was drawing on his cigarette he was thinking
about what Ali had said him. It would take the Russian a long time
to respond to Ali and then he spoke with his Russian accent which
was difficult to understand. There was another lad on the bus who
came walking past them on the bus as they were sat down. The lads
hands and arms were wet and soapy and people were saying to him
"You are always asking about Jamie." It was just a crowded bus full

of lads and they were all just casually talking away.

Chapter Eleven - Presentations

(verse 1) Presenting himself
Astral was dreaming that he was a sports presenter with a co
presenter called Chris. Chris had blonde hair and he was a
traditional style presenter. He likes sport. Astral was not
traditional as he would mess around and be more flamboyant. Astral
was spinning around in his chair. He was singing. Astral was having
a good time, but he did not know sport and he was not interested in
sport and yet he was a sports presenter.
(verse 2) Remember Roy Castle?
Remember how it used to be? When there was Ross and Norris and
Norris and Ross. Roy is standing up presenting in a studio with
dramatic lighting and dramatic music and he is very focused on his
delivery. Roy is a co host and it is very important to get the
timing and delivery correct. Roy is conscious of people watching him
and how he is coming across. Roy can see circles like giant camera
lenses projecting out and flashing down a countdown, three, two,
one. There are facts being presented here first by Roy and then by
the co host and this is all done to the music 'Master Of Puppets' by
Metallica.

Chapter Twelve - Other Consciousness

(verse 1) Dog Fish
Somehow Astral had met a native person and he was traveling with
them which made three of them altogether, but the third person was
very vague and Astral did not know who he was. They travelled across
a frozen sea which was frozen into corrugated sine waves. The native
man said, "It would only take one explosion and we would all be gone
in an instant." Astral said, "Let's get back then. It looks cold
down there to swim in." They went back, but they still ended up
swimming under water. They were retrieving some goods from under
water with some manual pallet wheels. It was all a bit suspicious as
to, if they should be getting these goods from under water, but they
got them back to dry land anyway. Astral remembered dropping some
goods off near a dogs kennel before waking up. The goods resembled
dog food?

(verse 2) A Ghostly Appearance

Astral went to this womans appartment. She was Scotish and she had a
big playful white dog. Astral was in her appartment and he was
looking out the window at something? It was grassy and he was
watching someone on that field in the distance. Astral thought that
he had been talking to that person previously, but he didn't know
what was said?

(verse 3) The Technician

The technician was a man in a white coat and he was chatting to
Astral. Astral remembered thinking that his teeth felt okay. He
couldn't feel them. Astral said, "Do you want to have a look in the
front?" Astral thought he was going to have to disconnect the
interior light from the front as they were in the back of the
vehicle. Astral thought that he was going to have to turn the
electric power off. Astral had a screwdriver in his hand, but there
were operating machines on in the vehicle. Astral didn't know how
they were going to get the bulb out from the front of the vehicle
without getting an electric shock. The man in a white coat said,
"Let me have a look." So Astral left it with the technician.
(verse 4) Shifting Realities
Astral was really struggling to remember this reality. As he was
remembering it, it was changing. It was wriggling away. He was
trying to remember who he was conscious of. He was familiar to
Astral and yet he did not know who he was? Astral remembered that he
was smelly though. Like a wet plastic mac smell and then Astral
overheard someone say, "He's a bit smelly. He's looking good
though." Astral thought that there was a teaching element to this
consciousness. This smelly consciousness was very difficult to
remember. Astral memories of this consciousness have changed, as
though the way that it presented itself was not possible to express
in this reality. So all Astral could get when he tried to remember
what the consciousness was saying/doing/teaching? was a memory that
wriggled away from Astral. This was the only was to describe the
elusive element of this consciousness. This consciousness was very
abstractly surreal and could not be communicated any better than
Astral had just done here.

Chapter Thirteen - I'm Happy And I Know It

(verse 1) Roll Up, Roll Up
Someone had given Astral some roll up papers that were loose out of
a rizla packet. Astral didn't ask for them someone just seemed to
read Astral mind. Astral was then waiting for tobacco. He was aware
of some things that had been going on with other people who were not
around him.

(verse 2) The Book Of Life

Astral was resting on his bed and he was not quite asleep, but he
imagined in his dreaminess a book and each page represented
something and Astral got the idea to move on and so he turned the
page and the next page was representing "Eye It." This was the title
of the page. Astral was trying to see what the other pages
represented and so he was looking at the titles, but it was not
clear for him to see. Then Astral came out of his dreaminess.

(verse 3) Women Who Orginise

There was a lass from Lincoln and she was doing a party for
children. She had a box full of decorations and she was starting to
decorate the room. Astral was there and this lass from Lincoln was
telling the ladies from Notts That she would be sorting out a
birthday party for Astral. Astral was there listening and he was
greatful for the trouble that she was going to. Astral was at a loss
of words, not really knowing how to react to her generosity, So he
decided to play it cool. Astrals birthday and birthday party was on
Thursday. In the meantime it was Tuesday and so they were
concerntrating on doing the childrens party. As the ladies were
chatting to each other Astral was just in the background taking it
all in and generally keeping a low profile.

(verse 4) Astrals Dream Girl

Astral was at his party. Alison and Kari were there from the Shiny
Show. They were all socialising. It came time to leave the party and
Astral had got all this stuff to take away with him. There was a
large yellow toy truck that he had and it was on a long handle that
Astral pushed or pulled the truck with. Astral was making his way
out of the party and people were saying "Have you got all your
stuff?" He gathered it all up. He filled up his truck and carried
some stuff as he left the party with Kari. First Astral was pulling
the truck then was pushing the truck making his way between people,
out of the party and into the lift with Kari and the truck of stuff.
Kari is wearing a silky green dress. Astral definately had a crush
on Kari, but that's just a dream : )

--------------------------------------------------------------------'Astral Travels' is a short surreal novel written by Adi Cox between

11th September till 8th October 2016.