My encounter with Cancer

Is cancer a boon or a bane

In the year 2014 I was going to realise success of hard work
in my profession, it was then I confronted with a lethal
diagnosis of pancreatic cancer. The diagnosis gave me a jolt.
There were few questions reverberating in my mind.
Why me?
What would happen to the family?
What I should go through?
What mistake did I do?
The magnanimous quantum of loss?
How I and my family would a float financially?
The answers were not evident upfront but gradually during
the course I sort of got tangible answers and solutions to
these concerns.
Why me?
When we see success or happiness we generally don't ask
why me but then its only during our setbacks we tend to
pose this question.
One need to understand elementary truth that success and
failures, happiness and sorrow are all complementary: one
cannot exist without the other.
It simply may be proportions might vary from one's life to the
other. Its best to accept the randomness in nature.
What would happen to the family?

One of the strongest emotional aspect that grips a person

after diagnosis is what's the fate of the family.
I could particularly overcome this crippling thought by having
certain salvaging thoughts.

That earth wouldn't stop spinning even if I am

not there.
Nature will have lot of compensatory mechanisms
to keep the life move on.
God is the provider.
Coming to terms with losses.
It's God who gave success and luxuries. He has every right
to withdraw it.
An example would be if one is born with mental disorders
there is no question of success so it is all gods provisions.
Financial challenges.
For many it would be next to impossible to handle this
matter all alone especially when it strikes unprepared.
For me this aspect was bridged with the help of empowered
and loving wife. Flow of resource from the family quarters
friends and even many unknown good Samaritans.
I came to realise, I was not alone in the fight there were
many in the form of angels supporting and backing in the
time of test.
At this point one has to slash the ego and seek help, at the
same time should not over burden anyone in the process.
Final question is what one has to go through?
The thought can be very terrifying.

Instead of Thinking a catastrophic end.... live One Day at a

time and enjoy the moments in the best possible way.
The present day medicine might not have total control over
this disease but the beauty is it can alleviate pain and
suffering to a large extent.

Once I finished with wrestling the questions, I started

wondering having cancer is a boon or a bane.

With time I realised it gives a lot of time to put things in

order.
Helps in Spiritual alignment.
Repentance and reconciliation.
Prepare the family for the eventuality.
This is never the case if its a sudden death due to any
reason even though at the cost of a protracted suffering.
Definitely it's a blessing in disguise that God gives, a second
life to live no matter how short.
What does cancer affect?
It affects health, wealth, mind, spirituality, vocation and
social aspect.

One might conclude it has only negative effects; however I

experienced many positives in each of above.
Coming to health it might seem total negative but a cancer
patient would definitely enjoy and thank God for each
healthy day lived, normally otherwise it would be taken for
granted.
With respect to wealth there is every chance that the family
would lose out a lot but because of the necessity one would
be driven to do something innovative, also help comes from
so many unexpected quarters.
Deconstruct the life style cut-off luxuries to tide the
situation.
Coming to spirituality.
Eternally one can question God's existence and lose peace,
on the other hand when we accept there is a greater divine
purpose and a moment to pay our debts, it gets translated to
peace and tranquillity and a closer relationship with God.
On the psychological front get engaged in deeper spiritual
realm that instils courage and hope in hopeless situation.
Follow modelling technique psychological technique that
helps a person get through by seeing somebody who is
dealing with it positively and effectively.
Cancer doesnt always mean impending death however
there could be a possibility its better to accept death
because that is the sure end point in everyones life its only
matter of time and cause. By accepting it one should not
grow week, distressed and negative but effectively and
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constructively use the time. Major aspect of acceptance is

setbacks in treatment will not affect you psychologically as
the ultimate is accepted.

Don't get freaked out but thinking too many things at a

time. Break it into small manageable task.
With respect to vocation you might not be able to perform
the way you used to, here you should capitalise on your
experience and think alternatively to be productive or
change the vocation itself.
Social aspect many relationships can get strained because
of the demand of disease however you will also experience
compassion, love and affection from many people that is
something unique to this disease.
How to deal with pain and suffering?
Remember if God has brought you to this he will also
take you through this.
He would not subject you to something beyond your
endurance.
Think of Christ on the tree who suffered brutality
without anaesthesia and pain killer, at least we have
medicines and doctors to reduce suffering if not
eliminate.
Consider no trouble is going to be permanent.
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 Distract yourself by engaging in hobbies music etc.

What did I learn from experience?

Give importance to medical counselling and screening
protocol.
Have a good amount of health insurance cover.

Have a term life insurance cover.

Try to establish passive income early in life.

When in Pink of health be good to people and be

generous you will see the reciprocation in your bad
time.
Empowered spouse keeps you buoyant in difficult time
like this.
I hope this message can give some sort of orientation to deal
with a seemingly impossible ailment.
With warm regards Dr Joe V.Mathew