Enneagram Type 3 - The

Achiever
Focused on the presentation of success, to
attain validation

People of this personality type

need to be validated in order to feel worthy; they pursue
success and want to be admired. They are frequently hard
working, competetive and are highly focused in the pursuit
of their goals, whether their goal is to be the most
successful salesman in the company or the "sexiest"
woman in their social circle. They are often "self-made" and
usually find some area in which they can excel and thus find
the external approbation which they so desperately need.
Threes are socially competent, often extroverted, and
sometimes charismatic. They know how to present
themselves, are self-confident, practical, and driven. Threes
have a lot of energy and often seem to embody a kind of
zest for life that others find contagious. They are good
networkers who know how to rise through the ranks. But,
while Threes do tend to succeed in whatever realm they
focus their energies, they are often secretly afraid of being
or becoming "losers."

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Threes can sometimes find intimacy difficult. Their need to

be validated for their image often hides a deep sense of
shame about who they really are, a shame they
unconsciously fear will be unmasked if another gets too
close. Threes are often generous and likable, but are
difficult to really know. When unhealthy, their narcissism
takes an ugly turn and they can become cold blooded and
ruthless in the pursuit of their goals.
Because it is central to the type Three fixation to require
external validation, Threes often, consciously and
unconsciously, attempt to embody the image of success
that is promoted by their culture. Threes get in trouble
when they confuse true happiness, which depends on inner
states, with the image of happiness which society has
promoted. If a Three has a "good" job and an "attractive"
mate, she might be willing, through an act of self-deception
which is also self-betrayal, to ignore the inner promptings
which tell her that neither her job, nor her mate are fulfilling
her deeper needs. Even the most "successful" Threes, who
generally appear quite happy, often hide a deeply felt sense
of meaninglessness. The attainment of the image never
quite satisfies.
Threes can sometimes mistype themselves when they
mistake the more superficial features of their personalities
as indicators of their type. So, for instance, an intellectual
Three might mistype as a Five; a Three who is devoted to
her role as mother might think she is a Two; a Three in a
leadership position might mistype as an Eight and so on.
Regardless of the manifestation however, the core of the
type Three fixation is the deep need for external validation.

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TYPE THREE: THE PERFORMER

Threes need the attention of others: they need to be recognized and even
admired by others. Their own personal value comes not so much from how
they view themselves as from the prestige and status that other people
assign to them. They are compelled to avoid failure.
Success is more important to Threes than just about anything else in their
lives, and so they tend to invest themselves totally in their work. They often
sacrifice themselves to their jobs and careers and expect the same of others.
They are good at rallying people because of their dedication to success,
which they define in terms of achieving a goal or realizing a vision. They
do not get bogged down in details. Although usually cooperative, they
typically have difficulty forming intimate relationships and they are
frequently uncomfortable with their own feelings.
Threes need the attention of others: they need to be recognized and even
admired by others. Their own personal value comes not so much from how
they view themselves as from the prestige and status that other people
assign to them. They are compelled to avoid failure. Success is more
important to Threes than just about anything else in their lives, and so they
tend to invest themselves totally in their work. They often sacrifice
themselves to their jobs and careers and expect the same of others. They
are good at rallying people because of their dedication to success, which
they define in terms of achieving a goal or realizing a vision. They do not
get bogged down in details. Although usually cooperative, they typically
have difficulty forming intimate relationships and they are frequently
uncomfortable with their own feelings.

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Possible origins. Threes were the children who were prized for their
achievements. They remember coming home from school and being asked
about how well they had done, rather than how they felt about their day.
Performance and image were rewarded, rather than emotional connections
or a deep involvement in other people's lives. They eventually learned that
the way to approval and love was successful performance, so they became
adept at self-promotion and at projecting an image that incorporated the
ideal characteristics of a role.

Flawed Threes are competitive to a fault. They possess an overwhelming

need to be Number One. They can become tough, unrelenting taskmasters.
They will be long on making demands and short on offering support as
other people try to meet those demands. They often lose friends in their
competitive frenzy and are unable to enjoy success once they have
achieved it. They are also unduly concerned with impressing their
superiors and tend to flaunt any favored standing they achieve. Because
they use exploitative tactics to get what they want, their greatest fear-the
fear of rejection--is often realized.

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Well-adapted Threes are able to get beyond the need for an external
affirmation of their worth and to come to a personal acceptance of
themselves including their limitations. They no longer need the applause of
an audience and they learn to find gratification in committing themselves
to someone or something outside themselves. Healthy Threes are selfassured, have good social instincts and good relations with higher-ups, and
an ambition to improve. Their natural enthusiasm and their ability to serve
as role models make them excellent team players. Well-balanced Threes
have transcended their self-focused tendencies and their single-minded
preoccupation with their projects The healthy Threes learn to form close
relationships for their own sake They also overcome any tendency to take
credit not due them and to withhold credit due others In accepting their
own fundamental worth as persons, they no longer are so susceptible to
envying the accomplishments of others.

Occupations. Attractive environments include small businesses that have

been built up through effort and long hours Jobs that require the
consolidation of known ideas into workable systems -- packaging,
promotion, marketing and sales As managers they specialize in building
organizations, in turning their organizations into objects worthy of respect
and high praise They gravitate toward environments where they can excel
and avoid those where they cannot achieve.

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Finding Oneself.
Threes will probably agree with most of the following statements:
1. I like to keep myself on the go.
2. I identify with achievement and performance.
3. Being able to get things organized and accomplished just seems to
come natural to me.
4. "Success" is a word that means a lot to me.
5. I like to have clear goals set and to know where I stand on the way
toward those goals.
6. I firmly believe that status and respect must be earned.
7. Projecting a successful image is very important to me.
8. Making decisions are not a problem for me.
9. I usually do not stop working long enough to ask myself how I feel
about what I am doing.
10.I'll be happy after the next promotion.

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Enneagram Type 3: The

Performer
Lost essential quality: A connection to a universal hope that everything that
needs to be done will get done according to universal laws or principles.
Compensating belief: The world rewards doing, not being. To be loved, you must
become a human doing" instead of a human being."
Attention/coping strategy: Going for accomplishment, success and a good
image, since love comes from the approval generated by your performance.
Focusing on tasks and goals, and pressing forward with little attention to your
feelings.
Trap: Believing that becoming super-efficient will assure success, recognition, love
and acceptance.
Driving energy: Deceiving yourself in order to accomplish the goal by altering
yourself, telling a good story and projecting a good image. Self-deception about
your true feelings.
Avoidance: Being a failure, becoming incapacitated by your strong, true feelings
(an unconscious fear that you will be unable to accomplish anything).
Strengths: Achievement, competence, enthusiasm, leadership.
Paradox: Outer success does not bring inner fulfillment or the feeling of true wellbeing.
Path of development:

Moderate pace

Welcome feelings

Understand failure is not disaster

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Realize that love is for you, not for what you accomplish

Ultimate task: Reclaiming the truth that love comes to you because of who you
are, not because of what you do.

Type 3: The Performer

Image
How has looking good or creating an image been present since I last stopped to
self-reflect? In what ways have I been adjusting to others? Selling myself? Wanting
recognition? (These can be quite subtle. Often Threes dont think about image, they
perform unconsciously.)
Basis: Threes rely on positive feedback and a good image to feel good about
themselves.
Focus on task
How much has my focus been on getting things done or accomplishing my goals? In
what ways have I kept active and busy? How have I concentrated on the fastest
way to completing tasks?
Basis: For Threes the focus of attention is on what they need to accomplish since
they believe that success is the basis for love and approval.
Feelings
What feelings have I had? What happened when a feeling came up? Did my
attention go to feelings? What am I feeling now? What attention did I give to
others feelings?
Basis: Threes need to suspend or push aside feelings as they might get in the way
of efficiency, accomplishment and success.

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Type 3: The Performer

The Basic Proposition
You lost sight of the original state of hope where everything works and is
accomplished naturally according to universal law. You came to believe instead that
what gets done is dependent on each persons individual effort. You learned to get
love, acceptance and recognition by working hard to be the best and maintaining a
good image. At the same time, you developed a driving, go-ahead energy of selfdeception to match to your image of success and approval. Your attention naturally
goes to tasks and accomplishments.
The central issue for healing
The task for Threes is to avoid making life into tasks. Performers are not just
human doings, but human beings. So the simple prescription here is to slow down
enough to allow your feelings to emerge and to realize that love and acceptance
come to you for being as well as for doing.
Performers depend on active force and mistrust being receptive. Hooked on
producing and succeeding, they do what it takes to get to the goal, automatically
adjusting their image to become what they perceive will bring the rewards. This is
where deceit comes in. Performers take short cuts and sometimes soften the truth
to get the job done, which makes sense since the focus is on gaining approval and
creating an image of success through the accomplishment of tasks.
Six healing and growth commitments for Performers:

Slow your pace and allow your feelings to emerge

Welcome the feelings, realize that doubt and anxiety often arise first

Develop empathy and understanding

Develop receptivity and patience

Be truthful to yourself and your own true feelings

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Allow for failure

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Personal Growth Recommendations

for Enneagram Type Threes

For our real development, it is essential to be truthful. Be honest with yourself and
others about your genuine feelings and needs. Likewise, resist the temptation to
impress others or inflate your importance. You will impress people more deeply by
being authentic than by bragging about your successes or exaggerating your
accomplishments.

Develop charity and cooperation in your relationships. You can do this by taking time
to pause in busy day to really connect with someone you care about. Nothing
spectacular is requiredsimply a few moments of quiet appreciation. When you do
so, you will become a more loving person, a more faithful friendand a much more
desirable individual. You will feel better about yourself.

Take breaks. You can drive yourself and others to exhaustion with your relentless
pursuit of your goals. Ambition and self-development are good qualities, but temper
them with rest periods in which you reconnect more deeply with yourself. Sometimes
taking three to five deep breaths is enough to recharge your battery and improve
your outlook.

Develop your social awareness. Many Threes have grown tremendously by getting
involved in projects that had nothing to do with their own personal advancement.
Working cooperatively with others toward goals that transcend personal interest is a
powerful way of finding your true value and identity.

In their desire to be accepted by others, some average Threes adapt so much to the
expectations of others that they lose touch with what they are really feeling about
the situation. Develop yourself by resisting doing what is acceptable just to be
accepted. It is imperative that you invest time in discovering your own core values.

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Type 3. Motivator

The Achiever (the Three)

Achivers are energetic, optimistic, self-assured, and goal oriented.
How to Get Along with Me

Leave me alone when I am doing my work.

Give me honest, but not unduly critical or judgmental, feedback.

Help me keep my environment harmonious and peaceful.

Don't burden me with negative emotions.

Tell me you like being around me.

Tell me when you're proud of me or my accomplishments.

What I Like About Being a Three

being optimistic, friendly, and upbeat

providing well for my family

being able to recover quickly from setbacks and to charge ahead to the next
challenge

staying informed, knowing what's going on

being competent and able to get things to work efficiently

being able to motivate people

What's Hard About Being a Three

having to put up with inefficiency and incompetence

the fear on not being -- or of not being seen as -- successful

comparing myself to people who do things better

struggling to hang on to my success

putting on facades in order to impress people

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always being "on." It's exhausting.

Threes as Children Often

work hard to receive appreciation for their accomplishments

are well liked by other children and by adults

are among the most capable and responsible children in their class or school

are active in school government and clubs or are quietly busy working on
their own projects

Threes as Parents

are consistent, dependable, and loyal

struggle between wanting to spend time with their children and wanting to
get more work done

expect their children to be responsible and organized

Dynamics of Type 3: Motivator

World View: The world values a champion. Avoid failure at all costs.
Basic Desire: to be admired
Basic Fear: of being rejected

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Healthy loop controlled by Basic Desire:

Need to be admired -> self-improvement -> admired -> Need to be admired

In the healthy state, the need to be admired induces Type Threes to work hard to
improve themselves and succeed, which often cause others around them to admire them.
When Threes feel admired, the need is satisfied and a balance is reached.
In the average state, when Threes' are not working hard to improve themselves, others
admire them less, which increases Threes' need to be admired. Thus this helps Threes to
again work hard to improve themselves. Thus the balancing loop can help Threes to
recover.

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Unhealthy loop controlled by Basic Fear:

Fear of being rejected -> compete -> admired -> Fear of being rejected
In the unhealthy state, the basic fear of being rejected can cause Type Threes to be
competitive and hostile towards others as a defense, which makes them even less
admirable, and further increases Threes' basic fear. The cycle continues to build up.

Insight:

We can see from the diagram that a way to help break the control of the basic fear is to
weaken the unhealthy loop. Threes can refrain from being competitive but focus on selfimprovement instead. This will lead to genuine admiration from others and lessen the
fear of rejection.

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