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T H E M AG A Z I N E T H E P L AY E R S R E A D

DAVID LLOYD ANDREW CHRIS BROAD


“IF YOU’RE OUT OF BED FLINTOFF “IT WAS A LITTLE STRANGE
AFTER 9.30PM, YOU’RE “I’M A MASSIVE WHEN I WAS FIRST
UP TO NO GOOD!” JAZZ FAN. INTRODUCED AS STUART’S
P. 82 HONEST” P.31 FATHER, BUT HEY…” P.26

WIN!
AFRAMEDBAT
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SEEP68
GADGETS, GIZMOS AND
WEIRD EPHEMERA THE
INNOVATORS
ASHES WATCH TILLAKARATNE
DILSHAN
What are the KEVIN PIETERSEN
Aussies up to? AJANTHA
MENDIS

BEST AND
WORST
OF IPL 2010

PLUS
CURVEBALL!

THE STRAUSS THE ENGLISHMAN


WHO HANDLED
SHANE WARNE

CAPTAINCY COOK
ISSUE COLLINGWOOD
EXCLUSIVE COMMENT DOES THREE INTO ONE GO?
FROM BREARLEY, GATTING
AND BOTHAM
PLUS AOC EXPERT Issue 68 June 2010 £4.25
SWOT ANALYSIS www.alloutcricket.com
THE BIG SHOT ISSUE 68

10.04.10
NEW ROAD,
WORCESTER
YOU’LL NOT SEE
NOTHING LIKE THE
MIGHTY FINN
Fresh from a fiery England debut in
Bangladesh, Middlesex’s Steven Finn
rocks up for his first Championship
match of the season and takes 14
Worcestershire wickets, including
9-37 in the second innings, the best
innings figures in county cricket since
2003. Andrew Strauss watches the
full masterclass from first slip.

www.alloutcricket.com | AOC | 03
The leader
All Out Cricket, TriNorth Ltd, Unit 3.23,
Canterbury Court, 1-3 Brixton Road,
London, SW9 6DE
He said, captain? I said wot?
www.alloutcricket.com
EDITORIAL I consider myself particularly lucky to
“England’s greatest captain ever is...”
Editor: Andy Afford – Dead-Shot Keen
have only captained sides on relatively few
Deputy Editor: Phil Walker – Nasser occasions. I am indeed fortunate in that regard,
Design: Ian Findlay@iforma – Mike Brearley because captaincy turns your ten subordinates
Publishing Editor: Matt Thacker - Vaughany
Publisher: Patrick Fuller
– nigh-on to a man – into complete idiots. They
News Editor: Sam Stow – Graham Gooch strop about if things aren’t going their way. They
Reviews Editor: Ed Davis – Bobby Moore question every decision you make when your
Contributors: Toby Bailey (Brearley), Scott
Collen, Barry De Silva, Jamie Ellis, Jo Harman,
back is turned – sometimes not-so subtly.
Jim Hindson (Jardine), Ed Kemp (Athers), Rob And they bowl almost wilfully the wrong
Key, Elliott Pinkham, Barry Ross, Will Smith, line to the field you’ve set them. Then bat for IP...HELL? The best and worst
Paul Terry, Richard H Thomas
themselves and not the team. Or is that just 12 (geddit?) of this year’s Indian
Photography: Getty Images, unless stated Premier League
when I’m in charge?
COMMERCIAL Anyway, we feature three men who obviously
Commercial Director: Ian Sykes suffer from none of the above. England’s current
T 020 3176 2053 E ian@alloutcricket.com
– Paul Collingwood holy trinity of captains, in their own way, make
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General enquiries and comments In the bad old days of England cricket, the side
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Bails to all that! The game’s top ten
further details. £42.50 for annual subscriptions, Supporting appraisals of the Strauss-Cook- 18 greatest artefacts revealed
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card subscriptions; mainland Europe £66;
other England captains. In Mike Gatting, Mike
worldwide £87.50
Brearley and Ian Botham, AOC covers all points
of the captaincy continuum. We think it makes
for a fascinating all-points-of-the-compass read.
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John Lever dons the Vaseline-
66 impregnated gauze (accidentally)
to prove himself better than sex

06 | AOC | JUNE 2010


‘As a captain, whatever hand is dealt, the important
thing is to make the most tricks possible’
Mike Brearley illustrates the importance of knowing when
to hold ‘em, and when to fold ‘em page 49
CONTENTS ISSUE 68

THIS ISSUE
20 FROM NEW JERSEY TO NEW
SOUTH WALES…
Six ‘crystal clear’ connections between
‘The Shore’ and Sir Donald Bradman
42 CAPTAINCY: THE AUDIT
Strauss, Cook and Collingwood under
the AOC microscope
62 WALKING WITH BEEFY
A wheezing AOC staffer tries to catch up
with cricket’s force of nature

I bought a log cabin in the Lake


District. Lovely it is. My first wife
enjoys it every weekend…’
David Lloyd comes over all misty-eyed on the
subject of house purchases page 82

REGULARS 87 REVIEWS
14 GETTIN’ JIGGY When planning to steal
WITH IT from your local library,
Durham’s Will Smith find out what’s worth
finds himself actually sticking up your jumper
playing some cricket 96 CAPTAIN SLOG
26 THE INTERVIEW Jimmy Hindson can’t
Chris Broad steps into put the cricket season
the hotseat off any longer
30 NEXT MAN IN 100 FACE OFF!
Ben Stokes is this Lovely cricket kit?
month’s hip young Compared and
gunslinger contrasted? For your
40 GET YOUR information and
SUBSCRIPTION HERE! entertainment? By
Think of it as an crikey!
investment in EXTRAS
happiness… 69 AUSTRALIA HERE
WE COME!
Ahead of this winter’s
Ashes, AOC presents an
Tillakaratne Dilshan talks
79 flipping the ball over his eight-page special
own head, as one of the feature on why Australia
new generation of great has to be the ultimate
innovators cricket tour
106 LAST KNOCKINGS
It’s the final page and it’s
much like every other
magazine’s last page in
that it marks the very
end of the pages. Apart
from a couple of ads

NEXT ISSUE
Life’s a beach – well, a strip of Our keeping expert
60 shingle on the banks of the 100 tests the best new THURSDAY
Thames at least. AOC’s Ed and gauntlets on the
JUNE
Sam are at it again market 3

www.alloutcricket.com | AOC | 07
COMMENT

As England’s last captain


to win down under, Mike
Gatting’s tour to Australia
in 1986/87 has become
a winter of legend. The
former Middlesex man
speaks of his experiences
as the man in charge.

Mike Gatting
if i ’m honest, captaincy gave me
confidence. It gave me a bit more belief
in myself. Knowing that I was going to
of the World Cup final against Australia in
India in 1987. His record against them was
unbelievable, but I’d picked Tim Robinson
plans and have the courage
of your convictions. I also felt that it was
important to uphold all sense of fairness.
be playing – after my early international for the semi-final and I wanted to be Telling players that they weren’t doing
career was spent on the periphery – was consistent. My heart was saying to go with well enough to remain in the team was the
huge for me. Broady, but my head was saying to pick his hardest thing I ever had to do as a captain.
In terms of doing the job, I learnt a lot Nottinghamshire opening partner. I should It felt like you were abandoning them and
from Mike Brearley at Middlesex. But I was have gone with my gut. banishing them, telling them they weren’t
also lucky enough to play in an era of very The same sort of thing happened, doing well enough.
good captains. I liked the way that Keith but in reverse, with the selection of That was a lesson that again bore fruit
Fletcher looked after things at Essex and Worcestershire’s Rhodesian-born seamer on the 86/87 tour. Although it was a settled
the way Clive Rice led Nottinghamshire. I Neal Radford. Radders was getting loads side, we realised that the likes of Bruce
think every captain would like to think of of wickets at New Road, bowling his skiddy French, Neil Foster and Gladstone Small
themselves as good at their job. The biggest seamers on pitches that moved around a would have important parts to play as the
thing is – and it’s difficult to take at times – lot. We were facing India at Edgbaston on tour wore on. Manager Mickey Stewart and
that you can be the best captain in the world a surface that was likely to be incredibly I tried to do something with the support
but if you don’t have good players around flat and a real challenge to contain the likes players at least once a week, to make sure
you, you’re not going to be recognised. of Sunil Gavaskar and Dilip Vengsarkar. I they felt part of things. It’s very easy to
I think that on the whole I handled players told the chairman of selectors, Peter May, become adrift if you’re not playing any
pretty well. The likes of Phil Edmonds and what I thought, that Neal would bowl too cricket. On a slightly different tack, we did
Phil Tufnell had their moments, as I’m straight – trying to get the ball to swing the same in looking after Phil DeFreitas
sure you can imagine. And I’d have to say from middle-and-leg – and would get hit all and Graham Dilley – but that was to keep
that I handled Beefy [Sir Ian Botham] well. over. We talked long and hard about it and them from going out with the likes of Beefy
Differently to how Brears handled him, he overruled me, saying that he was picking and Allan Lamb! You didn’t mess around
but I tried to include him in all decisions the man in form. I think Radders went at with that pair, not on an evening out…
and get his buy-in. Most people just tried seven-an-over! And in that decision, I’d With regards the England set-up of today,
to tell him what to do. All I did was to treat have to say that everyone lost out that time. I can only assume that Andrew Strauss will
him like a human being. For Beefy to say it If I believe in anything as a captain, it’s return to captain the 50-over side. That
was his favourite tour, I felt spoke volumes to trust your intuition. If you feel it, do it. would leave only the 20-over captaincy
for our relationship. And that’s with him And just be strong enough to carry out your separate. And you’d have to say that it is a
being injured during completely different job to
the Ashes too. Though the other two – especially as
typically, he came back for If I believe in a batsman-captain.
the Melbourne Test, bowled With all the will in the
a pile of rubbish and got
anything as world, and with all due
five-fer! I can tell you, that a captain, it’s respect, as great a captain
doesn’t happen when you’re to trust your as Mike Brearley was, you
a batsman. If you bat badly, intuition. If you wouldn’t have him in your
you get nothing! feel it, do it 20-over side. Test and
If you were to push me for one-dayers, definitely. But
a decision I got wrong as a not the shortest form of the
captain, with hindsight it’s game. That’s for a different
when I left Chris Broad out breed altogether.

08 | AOC | JUNE 2010


right: Gatting
captured in a
reflective mood
during the 1987 World
Cup campaign
left: It was to be one
reverse-sweep too
many for England’s
skipper during the
World Cup final v
Australia in 1987.
At the time the shot
caused an outrage as
England were beaten
by Allan Border’s men

www.alloutcricket.com | AOC | 09
E v E r y T H i N g i N c r i c k E T T H a T ’ s s H O r T, s H a r p a N d r i s i N g

MOMENT
OF THE
MONTH

FEROZ SHAH KOTLA STADIUM, MARCH 19, 2010

hayden
lets
loose
the
’goose

we weren ’t sure at first, Australianism, righteous chunk of wood on the end of above : Hayden out in the fourteenth over,
beefs another
watching the match from advocate of the Aussie way. an extended handle sends through the
the Mongoose has produced
the back of the office with Cricketers like Hayden the ball up to 20 per cent legside as the seven sixes – some of them
the sound turned down. But don’t use gimmicks. further than a normal bat, Mongoose enormous – in his 93 from
there it was, camouflaged Here in a sponsored and without any change makes its 43 balls. And all without
incredible
by a riot of gaudy yellow nutshell was the essence in technique. As far as debut any change in technique.
and almost buried inside of IPL3. Unburdened by quirky inventions go, it’s It’s surreal, but it’s
Hayden’s huge mitts: the the hassles of heritage, top bracket. But surely it happening. The ball looks
suddenly very famous this tournament has wasn’t going to work, not at like it’s made of rubber
Mongoose MMi3. developed a kind of genius this level. Half a bat can’t be (anything to declare, Mr
This was amazing even for dispensing with pretty better than one. Modi?), as a piece of wood
for the IPL, a tournament much all of cricket’s sacred But this is where the IPL steals the show. As he
that would re-brand the cows, and in this feral keeps having the last laugh. strides off, job done, Hayden
Taj Mahal if it brought atmosphere, not even the Because what happens is raises his tiny-huge bat, and
more cash. And it was bat itself was spared. this: Hayden mullers it. the crowd go bananas.
amazing because the So here’s Hayden, under After getting his eye Then we cut to the Maxx
bloke wielding this brick lights, taking aim with his in with the conventional Mobile Strategic Timeout
on a stick was no less than funny little mallet. The blade, Hayden calls for it in and the next festival of
Matthew Hayden: legend idea behind the Mongoose the fourth over. He’s on 19, adverts. Welcome to the
of the game, statesman of is that this concentrated with four fours. When he’s future, folks!

www.alloutcricket.com | AOC | 11
11
THEIPLAWARDS
The number of sixes hit
by Murali Vijay during his
127 from 56 balls against
Rajasthan
THE BUMPER

THE GOOD, THE BAD,


AND THE PUNJAB
AOC HANDS OUT THE
AWARDS FOR IPL 3
ON THE FIELD at least, in 2008, the Kings XI
where MS Dhoni’s Chennai have been on a steady
Super Kings defeated slide. Despite boasting
Sachin’s Mumbai Indians the talents of Sangakkara,
in a garlanded fi nal, IPL3 Jayawardene, Chawla,
didn’t so much live up to the Yuvraj Singh and our
hype as belch it out by the very own Ravi Bopara,
Orange Helmetful. But the they never really got
IPL has always seen itself going. Terrible fielding
as a wild liaison of on-feld encapsulated an
brilliance and off-field embarrassingly early
razzle, and so it was almost elimination.
inevitable that the fi nale BEST BATSMAN:
should be overshadowed SACHIN TENDULKAR
by allegations of fi nancial Despite not deigning to
irregularities made by an grace India’s Twenty20 side
IPL stakeholder against with his regal presence, a
Lalit Modi and his minions. string of perfectly paced
When we went to print it knocks reminded us why
was unclear if these claims Tendulkar is the master
would be backed by proof. no matter the format of the
But whatever the outcome, game. Eclipsing even the
IPL3 has whipped up limpet-like Jacques Kallis,
another almighty storm… Sachin stroked 618 runs in
15 knocks.
BEST TEAM: MUMBAI BEST BOWLER:
The best team until it all HARBHAJAN SINGH BEST INNINGS: two wickets and just seven ABOVE :
March 23,
unravelled in the fi nal. Plenty of wickets and YUSUF PATHAN, 100 runs. The best knock in 2010. “Royal
Sachin at the top, Kieron superb control as an V MUMBAI a winning cause goes to Challengers
Pollard devastating at the occasional opening This early encounter Murali Vijay’s 56-ball 127 Bangalore!
Make! Some!
end, and in Harbhajan and bowler, Harbhajan’s subtle saw Rajasthan’s ‘floating in a crazy match that saw Noise!”
Malinga, the bowlers of variations and love of a smoter’ club his side to the Chennai and Rajasthan Another
the tournament. Only a good scrap helped Mumbai brink of the unlikeliest of share 469 runs. night of IPL
shocking misjudgment in through to the fi nal. victories. With the Royals’ BIGGEST action sees
the crowd, as
the fi nal, leaving Pollard BIGGEST FLOP: pursuit of 213 dead in the EXAGGERATION: ever, at fever
grazing in the hutch until VVS LAXMAN water at 40-3 in the seventh SHANE WARNE pitch. RCB v
it was too late, prevented With just 64 runs in over, Pathan unleashed Usually not one for Chennai Super
Kings, MA
them taking their fi rst title. six innings, it looked eight maximums and hyperbole, Warney’s Chinnaswamy
WORST TEAM: like Deccan’s stylish nine boundaries, only for description of Yusuf’s knock Stadium,
KINGS XI PUNJAB strokemaker just couldn’t Malinga to produce an ice- as “the best I’ve ever seen” Bangalore,
India
Since making the semis bring himself to win ugly. cold fi nal over that yielded was a little over the top.

12 | AOC | JUNE 2010


‘I didn’t like it. Bruce Willis may look good bald, but I
didn’t. If you look good you feel good’
In his latest role as brand ambassador for Advanced Hair studios,
Shane Warne recalls the trauma of discovering his bald patch

accolade. Unexcitable, created an award so vague


unflappable and able to that it could be distributed
hold your attention during several times an over and
a 10-minute pitch-side so broad that it acted as an
chat with the local chief of umbrella term for every
police, the man who never other bit of commercialised
lost a series as the Windies nonsense (DLF Maximums,
keeper took his game to the Karbonn Kamal catches
next level with a Scarfacian etc). Genius… in a way.
“Say hello to my little BEST ENGLISHMAN:
friend” in description of one PAUL COLLINGWOOD
particularly towering six. Michael Lumb made it
WORST into England’s Twenty20
COMMENTATOR: squad on the back of some
DANNY MORRISON impressive knocks at the
With a voice like KBBL’s top of the Rajasthan order,
Bill and Marty, the one- and Kevin Pietersen had his
time Kiwi seamer managed moments (an angry 29-ball
to infuriate and bemuse in 62 after being dropped),
equal measure. Spotting but it was England’s T20
a man-of-the-match captain who proved a rock
motorbike, Morrison in Delhi’s middle order,
left the usually ebullient ousting AB de Villiers and
Laxman Sivaramakrishnan Dilshan in the process.
speechless as he exclaimed BEST CATCH:
“That’s one for you Shiv! AB DE VILLIERS
You can take that back to David Hussey made all the
Che-naiiii! And ride it! headlines for his fleet feet
In the city of Che-naiiii!” and quick mind either side
And his claim that “We’re of the boundary rope, but
duck hunting” as he walked for sheer athleticism and
around the boundary hand-eye co-ordination
wielding a bat like a gun de Villiers’ one-hand grab
suggested it’s only a matter stretching at long-on to
of time before Danny’s remove Praveen Kumar
locked up for his own safety. takes the day.
BEST PUNDIT: BEST CELEBRATION:
MIN PATEL MARK BOUCHER
In a sea of familiar faces, The benched Bangalore
ITV4 pulled a diamond stumper couldn’t contain
from the rough by giving his excitement, smashing
BEST HEADLINE (FROM BEST CAMEO: Min Patel, a go on the blue his hand into the dugout
INDIAN PUBLICATION KIERON POLLARD, 45* couch of plenty. Taking with such force that he was
‘CRICKET TODAY’): V DELHI time out from his duties as left cradling it for several
Five sixes in a 13-ball riot ECB Unicorns selector, Min minutes.
enabled Mumbai to add 50 formed a sizzling bond with BEST LINE:
runs in the last three overs Mark Pougatch. Honorable MANDIRA BEDI:
of this heavyweight clash mention must also go to “Normally safe as buckets”
as the big lad fi nally came to Graeme Hick for his sheer A wonderfully mangled
the party in match 47. ubiquity. metaphor from cricket’s
BEST COMMENTATOR: BEST SPONSORSHIP: second prettiest TV
JEFF DUJON CITI MOMENT OF presenter (after Mark
Just for making you SUCCESS Nicholas), as ITV’s star
wonder what Jim Laker By putting their name gives a whole new meaning
would have made of the to the very concept of to Matty Hayden’s dropped
IPL, ‘Duje’ deserves this achievement, Citigroup slip catch in the fi nal.

www.alloutcricket.com | AOC | 13
33
WILLSMITH
Runs scored in one over from Ravi Bopara’s bowling,
in the Kings XI Punjab versus Kolkata Knight Riders match.
The onslaught included four sixes by Chris Gayle.
Two balls were lost in the process
THE BUMPER
LEFT: Will relief that most of the lads
Smith shifts spend the hours before
a fieldsman
during
departure in Greggs, Burger
Durham’s King or Wetherspoons.
opening
County
Tuesday March 23
Championship
match against We arrive at the hotel in the
Essex at dead of night and hurriedly
Chester le check in. Depending on
Street
RIGHT: Abu which receptionist you were
Dhabi – tall presented with, depended
buildings, on whether you were
clear blue
water and lots ordered to pay AED2000
and lots of (Arab Emirate Dirhams),
sand… equivalent of about £400,
in order to cover ‘any
extras’. One receptionist
was clearly expecting
Premiership footballer-
style parties to be thrown
nightly, while the other
quite simply smiled and
Skipper Will Smith writes about gave us our room keys. Were
the strangest start to a domestic we not so jet-lagged, this
season, ever. The Champion County would have been met with
v MCC in the Middle East… great consternation, at least

GETTIN’
by those not planning such
carousing. ABOVE : we are ‘five minutes away,
A few hours sleep later Saadiyat five minutes.’ Very rarely

JIGGY
Beach Golf
and the squad depart for Resort: tall pin are we five minutes away,
the Sheikh Zayed stadium positions, clear and even when we are, a
– the venue for all practice blue water new spate of roadworks or

WITH IT
and, you’ve
days and matches – which guessed it, oddly-positioned dead ends
we are assured is only lots and lots of will hamper our progress.
DURHAM’S ABU DHABI DO ten minutes away. Our sand…
BELOW:
tour liaison officer then Durham’s Scott
Thursday March 25
Monday March 22 hotel, purpose-built on explains that this ten- Borthwick: These frustrating but
Finally the day has arrived the doorstep of the Abu minute journey would removes amusing journeys are not
James Foster
for us to depart for the Dhabi F1 circuit. We are be when the tunnel was only to face
limited to and from the
Emirati desert, just as the about to play the MCC v constructed to subverse death-by-bear cricket stadium either.
daffs’ fi rst green shoots Champion County fi xture. the stretch of ocean that lay hug from Phil Having a spare afternoon
emerge from the north Mustard
And we’ve been transported between the hotel and the allows us to take in a round
eastern tundra. Virtually ‘desertside’. cricket stadium. No such of golf at one of the lavishly
a full complement of While the last few pre- tunnel currently exists, and lovingly constructed
players set foot on the season jaunts have seen and instead the journey golf courses in the area,
plane – itself a rarity for Durham deep in Afrikaaner consists of covering seven organised by Harmy and
pre-season tours, as usually country, this year’s sees sides of an octagon, when courtesy of the kindness
international commitments us amid the oil-funded the crow would simply fly and generosity of Dubai
and injuries curtail the playground of the rich and the remaining un-traversed resident Andrew Flintoff.
numbers – making this a the even-more-rich. Half corner. Nevertheless The course is at one of the
notably different trip to expecting this sudden these bus trips are met countless resorts that have
most others. The usual departure in status to bring with admirable patience, sprung up, are springing up
low-key early season on more lofty and, it would humour and slight or will soon be springing
accommodation is replaced22/1/10
GM941_left_righthand_pages have to be said, forced
10:57 Page airs
1 suspicion at the drivers’ into being. These resorts
by the plush Crowne Plaza and graces, it is of great constant reassurance that do not just supply exquisite

get into shape for 2010 at


®
www.gm-cricket.com
14 | AOC | JUNE 2010
My friend Steve McKenzie used to set his pin number to Bert Sutcliffe’s
Test aggregate, and I used to make the occasional withdrawal from his account’
Jeremy Coney continues his quest to overtake Bumble as the world’s foremost
purveyor of eccentric genius in the guise of the cricket commentator

golf courses. From the attractive ladies in flat caps


billboards and signs it is and plus-fours appearing NOWT SO QUEER AS FOLK
clear that come the year regularly to attend to our South American-based coach,
2020, when the Abu Dhabi every need. Needs of the
‘masterplan’ is nearing refreshment variety I might
Toby Bailey, lets us in on the
completion, that living here hasten to add. latest bit of argy-bargy. This time
will transcend nirvana – The day was capped off it’s about a bloke called Bernie…
and not that grungy check- by a couple of sun-downing
shirted lot from Seattle. Coronas on the club’s MOMENTS OF HILARITY seem to occur more regularly
Anyway, upon leaving veranda, courtesy of the in Argentina cricket than any other I’ve been part
the Sheikh Zayed stadium, golf professional, who was of. To that end, the name of Bernie Irigoyen seems
having given the jovial but in the midst of his wedding to fit hand-in-hand.
directionally-challenged reception held at the course Irigoyen managed to contribute ‘minus five’ runs
driver instruction to take us – a gesture that was way to one game he figured in. He arrived late due to
to the Gary Player-designed above necessity and the call traffic jams and eagerly ran on to the pitch to field.
Saadiyat Beach Golf of duty. The umpire immediately turned to the scorers and
Resort, spirits are high in took five runs off the fielding side’s score. Bernie
anticipation of an afternoon Wednesday March 31 was then able to spend the remaining 45 overs
on lush, sun-kissed Our young leggie Scott thinking long and hard about his actions before
fairways and pampered Borthwick has an going in to bat.
Augusta-style greens. (Or undoubted future in the A hard-hitting opening batsman with an
more realistically, amid the game. He has just taken his unorthodox technique, Bernie then bounded to
bunkers that are in copious fi fth wicket of the MCC v the crease with his partner, wanting to reclaim the
sizes, shapes and depths – Champion County game, runs which he had lost earlier. Keen to get to the
not surprising given the fact and eight in total, and is striker’s end and out of the red, Bernie was backing
that sand supply round here particularly jubilant. He up when a perfect straight drive was deflected
will never diminish.) has trapped James Foster into the non-striker’s stumps. Bernie was run out
One wrong course, three lbw, the man who was without facing a ball. If Argentina cricket had shirt
dead-ends, two U-turns responsible for giving numbers, Bernie would be sporting ‘-5’ on his back.
and countless phone calls Scotty a bit of a mauling During the season’s final game the madness of
in Arabic to taxi-driver in a Pro40 game last year. Irigoyen re-emerged. This time at the expense
friends (or more likely His instant reaction is to of one of his team-mates. Just turned 14 and
his mother) later and our close his eyes, throw his already a highly-effective leg-spinning allrounder,
likable yet inept driver has head back, his hands in the Lautro Musilini came to Bernie for a bit of advice
delivered us safely-and- air and scream at the top about running between the wickets. Bernie, an
eventually to the Saadiyat of his voice. In looking to experienced Argentine international, talked
Beach clubhouse. The fun embrace the nearest person, Argentina’s great leg-spinning hope through the
is not over for the members unfortunately for Scotty art, covering off turning blind, running techniques,
of the squad who aren’t that person is our brilliant calling, ply metrics, and finally equipment. Bernie,
playing golf, as they have keeper Phil Mustard. thinking outside the box, suggested the teen tyro
the journey back to the hotel Hugging anyone in this would be quicker between the stumps wearing
to look forward to. manner comes with risks, wicketkeeping pads. All problems solved, or so the
This is no simple round but when it is The Colonel it pair thought.
of golf: this is nothing short comes with a strict health Unfortunately, when Lautro went out to bat
of relaxation perfection. warning! We win the game against St Georges, he reduced all 11 fielders, both
It includes brand new and for a time Scott is the umpires and his batting partner to fits of laughter
Callaway clubs hired for leading fi rst-class wicket- upon sighting the new batting innovation in the
every single one of us, taker in the country. While flesh. Things got worse when the Belize opening
personalised lockers in a he has since been usurped, bowler Conway Young hit Lautro just above the
changing room reminiscent there will be times this left knee when prodding forward. Lautro went
of a health spa, golf carts year when he takes a hatful down but refused to change to batting pads. He
equipped with everything more. And hopefully for eventually made 25 off 91 balls, but with not as
(including a fully stocked many years to come. As much as a quick single to show for his bruises.
coolbox), views of the 22/1/10
GM941_left_righthand_pages long as he keeps
10:57 away
Page 2 from Irigoyen – a name to conjure with in every way.
Persian Gulf AND… Colonel he should be fi ne...

www.alloutcricket.com | AOC | 15
MANOF THEMONTH I’m not going to lie; in my first game I was really nervous. It
gets easier, you start to get a few balls away and you think:
“Hey, I might actually belong out here”’
Michael Lumb after his first experience of the IPL

THE BUMPER
LEFT: Lumb in After a decade treading
action for the water in county cricket, the
England Lions
this winter;
30-year-old left-hander was
the senior side hoisted into the spotlight.
have since The son of former
come calling
Yorkshire opener Richard,
Michael Lumb made his
fi rst-class debut for the
White Rose a decade
ago, showing enough
early promise to make the ECB National
Academy in 2003 following 1,000
Championship runs that year.
But then the runs dried up. By 2005 the
scores had all but vanished completely.
Lumb appeared to be drifting through an
unfulfi lled county career. It took a gamble
by a gambler to reignite his career.
It was Shane Warne who took the punt
on bringing Lumb to Hampshire. Under
Warne, Lumb blossomed in the shortest
form of the game. A prolific 2009 in the
Twenty20 Cup, with 442 runs including
a thunderous unbeaten 124 from 69 balls
against Essex, led to Warne snapping up
the strapping opener to the IPL for just
$50,000, as one of only two uncapped
English players, along with Graham Napier.
Lumb has repaid Warne’s faith in the
best way possible, going toe-to-toe with
his more illustrious peers and forming a
genuinely dangerous opening partnership
with Naman Ojha. A series of rapid knocks
culminated in an explosive 83 from 43 balls
against Kings XI Punjab.
No sooner had Warne clicked his fi ngers,
than Lumb was named in England’s 15-man
squad. Suddenly the squad looked well
equipped with innovative and aggressive
batsmen, with Lumb joining the likes of
Kevin Pietersen, Eoin Morgan and fellow
new boy Craig Kieswetter.
On paper, England have assembled
a batting line-up capable of clearing
the rope with the consistency required

Michael A CAST OF LUMINARIES had already been


assembled to strut their stuff and fi ll their
wallets. But among the IPL’s biggest draws,
to be successful in Twenty20 cricket,
and the selectors should be praised for
picking Lumb ahead of more established

Lumb
Meet Michael Lumb, an overnight
often hitting it further and more regularly, a
new face was making himself known.
For those pockets of curious English
candidates.
His success should resonate through
the English county game. Lumb has proved
sensation a decade in the making. viewers peering in at the new world, that genuinely destructive players lurk
Michael Lumb would not have been on in English T20 cricket, a format that can
WORDS | ELLIOTT PINKHAM
most of their radars. But the IPL is now sometimes seem like the rather dowdy
the ultimate shop window, and no sooner sibling of the glamorous IPL. Aged 30,
had Hampshire’s hitter opened his burly after a decade on the treadmill, Lumb has
shoulders at the top of the Rajasthan Royals suddenly become an unlikely advert
batting order, than England’s Twenty20 for the merits of the county system. With
think tank were earmarking him into the short form now well established as the
their World Twenty20 plans. IPL success domain of left-handed openers who hit it
is becoming the clearest barometer for out of the park, what can Lumb achieve in
judging a player’s value and worth. the colours of his country?

16 | AOC | JUNE 2010


WORLDVIEW
QUARTET SCOOP WISDEN
AWARD
England stars Matt Prior,
Graham Onions, Stuart Broad
Amazing selection
and Graeme Swann have
been named in Wisden’s
of Cricket Bats.
Five Cricketers of the Year for
2010. Alongside Australian
vice-captain Michael Clarke
– whose 448 runs at 64 was
the standout performance by Huge range of
a tourist during the English
summer – the four were
recognised for their efforts in
Protection
helping England to win the
Ashes. Swann, who became
Accessories.
Four of England’s Ashes stars the first English spinner to
were recognised by Wisden
claim 50 wickets in a calendar
year, was also named in Wisden’s Test XI of the year alongside
Andrew Strauss. Virender Sehwag who scored at over a run
a ball in Test cricket in 2009 became the first player to retain All the latest
his place as the Leading Cricketer in the World.
Cricket Footwear.
MALIK DITCHES PHONE EX
FOR TENNIS ACE
In a bizarre soap opera that has
captivated the public on both sides
of the border, banned Pakistani
cricketer Shoaib Malik has married
Indian tennis star Sania Mirza. The All the best
Cricket Luggage.
union had been in doubt after the
family of Malik’s first wife – whom
the former international captain had
met on the Internet and married over
the phone – pressed charges over Indian stunner: Malik
has married Mirza
the wedding plans but these were

The
dropped when Malik divorced her,
claiming that photographs she had
sent him during their courtship were
of someone else.

Cricket
UNICORNS IN THE SADDLE
It’s not often that an underdog comes in
the shape of a horse with a horn on its
head, but this year’s Clydesdale Bank
40 will see the fantastically named ECB

Specialist.
Unicorns – a team made up of players
without first-class experience – take
on county opposition. The squad led
by former Somerset all-rounder Keith
Parsons was whittled down from an
original list of 200 players submitted
to the ECB and will be a mix of youth
Horses for courses: and experience including a number of
The ECB Unicorns
players recently released from county
Enter AOC20102 at checkout
have been drafted
into the CB40 sides. The Unicorns have taken the
place initially offered to Ireland who
declined to compete because of their
international commitments. and get a FREE cricket ball.
www.barringtonsports.com
THEAOCTEN

THE BUMPER
LEFT: If you
like a lot of
handle on
your willow,
use this club
RIGHT: The
Skyer’s the
limit; man
and rubber
combine
to glorious
effect
MIDDLE RIGHT:
Merlyn
limbers up
under the
watchful
eye of Mark
Alleyne
FAR RIGHT: The
sightscreen:
push!

Cricket’s greatest inventions


Those simple chunks of genius that make cricket the best and weirdest game on the planet.
WORDS | ELLIOTT PINKHAM & PHIL WALKER

10 | The Mongoose half of a tennis ball and bunnies will always seize 6 | The Sightscreen
MMI3 giving that side more weight the Skyer and give the balls Of great assistance to the
To all intents and purposes can replicate the properties a hefty whack, and you, batsman, especially when
a Neanderthal club, of the manipulated leather standing there freezing and faced with ‘frog in a blender’
(especially when wielded ball. And it works. In the scared, must be prepared actions and irritatingly
by Matty Hayden), the right hands this can result to catch the hurtling bullet positioned spectators,
Mongoose claims to offer in the kind of carving swing dropping on you from a the stoic sightscreen is
20 per cent more power that Waqar Younis once great height. Tough luck another piece of ageless
than traditional designs trademarked. Now the big if it takes your hand off on furniture that’s found in
and few who witnessed manufacturing companies its way to the turf. That’s every cricket club in the
Hayden despatching have cottoned on and are cricket. land. Much like scoring
Delhi Daredevils into the selling their own versions and slip cradle practice,
stratosphere would argue. of the street classic. As with 7 | The Merlyn Bowling the manoeuvring of rickety
Traditionalists may scoff, all good ideas… Machine sightscreens around
but the Mongoose is a very The viciously turning boggy outfields because
welcome addition in a game 8 | The Skyer deliveries spat from this your new opening bowler
that’s gone power mad. A thick, meaty rubber don of bowling machines fancies “going round” is
mallet brought out in could confound the most another job that should be
9 | Tapeball 2008 as a training tool fleet-footed of batsmen. avoided at all costs. If you
The idea of layering of that launches cricket balls Ashley Giles claimed must get involved, shotgun
electrical tape to one side higher into the sky than is Merlyn helped England win foreman duties and save the
of a soft ball to make it hoop strictly necessary. Cricket the Ashes in 2005 (even inevitable stress fracture.
and swing seems to have balls launched into the air though Warney took 40
sprung up in Pakistan, by the Skyer can hang for up wickets), and the metal box 5 | The Catching cradle
where ‘Tapeball’ has long to nine seconds, providing is supposedly capable of Sitting outside pavilions
been the street’s riposte to some vintage damage to bowling any delivery known across the country
the age-old issue of bat’s frost-bitten English hands to man. And it won’t give ABOVE : Swing
and bearing a marked
Kings: today’s
dominance over ball. The in early April. Machismo you an earful for padding up tapeballs resemblance to the carcass
idea is that taping up one being as it is, beefy gym in the over before tea. of a beached whale, the

18 | AOC | JUNE 2010


I won’t name anyone but I have seen quite a few cricketers
who have been rubbing mud on the ball, and that is tampering’
Wasim Akram, bowling coach of Kolkata Knight Riders, works on his
newly-developed puritanical streak

3 | Bails Every player at every


While many will tell you level of the game has
that bat’s dominance at some point recorded
over ball is a modern their own averages, and
phenomenon, the existence the scorebook is the
of bails is a constant reason for the feverish
reminder that those who obsession with numbers
wield the willow have that typifies the game. The
always had it good. As if concentration required
having to hit three small to fi ll it in accurately is a
sticks stumps wasn’t genuine skill in itself, and
enough of a challenge, a worthy test of GCSE
early lawmakers decreed Maths for the newest
that bowlers must also members of club sides. Of
dislodge two more tiny course this is only possible
sticks perched on top. The if the young ‘uns can
ritual of removing the bails wrestle it off the lifelong
at the end of each session is scorebook artiste; these
catching cradle is an TV technology. Invented cricket at its theatrical best. often hunched men – club
essential piece of kit. by the English computer cricket heartbeats – carry
Invented by Reverend scientist Allan Plaskett, 2 | The Scorebook their quivers of coloured
Gilbert Harrison, we can this computerised device The humble yet beautifully pens to every match home
only assume this man of shows whether a batsman conceived scorebook, and away, and woe betide
the cloth had a sideline in has got a ‘snick’ through with its strange nooks and anyone who defi les their
breaking people’s fi ngers, soundwaves recorded on crannies and mystifying life’s work with an errant +
as the speed at which balls a computer screen, and codes, is one of cricket’s where there should be an O
rear and kick out of the makes for great drama most fascinating traditions. with a dot in the middle.
wooden slats sends even the when the slo-mo action
most dedicated of trainers replay shows the ball
scampering to the bar. As a approaching the edge,
kind of wooden hammock with Snicko about to
it’s ideal for sleeping in make its call. If we see
after a night on the sauce, a line on the soundwave
and further drunken usage graph, the batsman’s edged
usually consists of lining it, simple as that. More
up some fearlessly stupid reliable than Hawkeye ABOVE LEFT:
lads from the fourth team and more revealing than The Cradle:
to see who can stand the Hot Spot, Snicko allows vicious
ABOVE : Good
closest while balls are flung the armchair fan to assess wood: the
into the grooves at great the most contentious beautiful,
pace. Occasionally someone of caught-behind beautiful bails
ABOVE RIGHT:
catches one; more often the decisions, and listening On the edge,
ball catches them. to commentators stumble Snicko has the
through descriptions of answers
4 | ‘Snicko’ “short noises” is always RIGHT: By the
book: cricket’s
The Snickometer is entertaining. Umpires need wonderful
cricket’s greatest piece of this tool more than ever. language

www.alloutcricket.com | AOC | 19
THEAOCTEN

THE BUMPER
SIX
DEGREES
OF
DON
BRADMAN…
Does anyone know the secret...

JON BON JOVI


Born John Francis Bongiovi, Jr in Perth Amboy,
New Jersey on March 2, 1962, this Italian-
American hair-metaller formed be-spandex’s rock
behemoth, Bon Jovi, along with Richie Sambora,
David Bryan, Tico Torres and Alec John Such in
1983. The band hit it big in 1986 when third album,
Slippery When Wet, sold in excess of 28 million
copies worldwide. Referred to as ‘Blaze of Glory’
by journalists and photographers whose path he
crosses, the moniker relates to the singer’s solo
faux-cowboy hit of the same name as well as an
ironic reference to the seriousness with which
the diminutive star takes himself. Notoriously
humourless, according to legend, the singer
begged to be written into TV series The Simpsons,
only to refuse to do it upon reading the script.
ABOVE : In
1 | The Ball THE SIMPSONS
stitches: the
The construction of the cricket ball, and seam is key Created by Matt Groening, with dysfunctional
its central importance to how each match to the cricket characters based on his only family, this award-
ball’s unique winning animated swipe at smalltown America
develops, is truly unique. Developers of the beauty
has consistently employed celebrity voice
football, for example, are continually striving cameos. For the twenty-first and latest series of
for absolute spherical perfection, each World the show, those stars include Seth Rogen, Anne
Cup preceded by news stories concerning Hathaway, Chris Martin and the late…
the invention of the roundest bag of air ever, EARTHA KITT
and in baseball they change their ball every Born Eartha Mae Kitt (January 17, 1927 – December
few minutes. The cricket ball, however, is 25, 2008) was an American actress and cabaret-
style chanteuse renowned for her highly-
lasting perfection. First manufactured in
distinctive singing style and cat-like purring
1780 by Dukes of Kent, the company that still inflections. She was once famously describes as
provides balls for the first-class game, it has the “most exciting woman in the world” by…
maintained essentially the same properties ORSON WELLES
over the centuries: 5½ ounces of unforgiving Film director, producer and actor, Welles’ 1941
cork covered by four quarters of shiny leather classic Citizen Kane is often held up as the cinema
casing, all held together by six pieces of string industry’s highwater mark and the greatest film
ever made. Kane was also an accomplished
woven together proudly on the outside.
voiceover artist and magician, not unlike…
This is known as the seam, and it’s forever PAUL DANIELS
winking at those crafty fast bowlers with Married to ‘the lovely’ Debbie McGee and made
sturdy fingernails. Only the colour has famous by his catchphrase, “You’ll like this…
changed: first it was the white ball, introduced not a lot, but you’ll like it” wig-wearing magician
to allow for coloured clothing and floodlit Daniels owned the Saturday night TV schedules
cricket, and now we have the pink ball, between 1979-1994, with his self-titled magic and
entertainment show. One of the less unpopular
which inventors hope will solve the problem
elements of the show was the ‘Bunco Booth’, a
of playing day/night Test cricket in white segment that saw magic man Daniels debunk the
clothing. Weirdly, the white ball seems to swing confidence tricks of the side-show hustler. Many of
in the air more than the traditional red. While these exposés involved the use of sleight-of-hand
nothing excites a fasty quite like being handed and silver coins. One such piece – the Australian
a new, rock-hard pill, some amateur quicks on Mint’s 20 cent – bears the face of none other than…
the margins of society have been known to go BRADMAN, the coin
SIR DONALD BRADMAN
commissioned in 2001 to commemorate The
even further, lacquering up their favoured ‘net
Don’s awesomeness.
ball’, and storing it in the freezer for extra jaw-
obliterating hardness.

20 | AOC | JUNE 2010


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