Ms. Marlowe Expository Reading and Writing Period 1 22 October 2016 Self-Worth Comes from Within For the majority of my life other people have told me what has value or what is important, however self-worth can only come from within. Like many others I dealt with low self-esteem, lack of self-confidence, and self sabotage which caused the fine line between selfworth and self-loathing to blur. Recognizing my own self-worth was especially challenging because I did not fully understand what it meant to value myself. Eventually I realized that if I was to truly recognize my own self-worth it was crucial that I acknowledge my value as a person, practice self-compassion, and challenge my inner critic. There are many influences that shape self-worth, and one specific influence that had the most impact on how I viewed myself were the people I surrounded myself with. I lived and breathed for the way that other people viewed me, and if something was not up to scale with them I would change in order to be more acceptable. I am not alone in wanting to fit in and find my place, but I was nave in thinking that I needed the approval of others to justify my sense of self-worth. Insecurities were ever rampant in my life, and in a way I was partly ashamed of who I was. It took me a while to acknowledge that the value I possessed was not based off of what other people thought of me, that it was okay to love myself, and that all that really mattered was how I viewed myself. It was detrimental that I accepted myself for who I was despite my flaws because the only expectations I had to live up to were my own. As challenging as it may be to ignore the opinions of other people, the one thing that is important to remember is that self-
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confidence lays the foundation for self-worth. Dependence on other peoples validation is not only crippling, but also limiting to ones self-esteem. Ironically enough another major influence that affected my own self-worth was myself. I was my own worst critic which caused me to be overly judgmental when it came to my failures. Initially I did not realize that my harsh critiques contributed to my lowering self-esteem, but when I did I understood that I needed to have a sense of compassion toward myself. I needed to forgive myself for any past failures, and change my mindset in order to allow myself to be happier, and healthier. My inner critic affected my behavior due to the unceasing negative commentary that came in constant waves, and finally I had to take action and stop this demeaning thought process. It was important that I understood with any experience I would encounter losses, become frustrated, and make mistakes, but that these different setbacks did not have to define who I was. These losses and failures have helped develop my character, and have also given me the confidence to know that I can survive adversity. Naturally when people realize that they are imperfect anger and frustration present themselves increasing stress levels, but it is vital to comprehend that experiencing difficulties in life is inevitable. Despite the reality of this situation it is essential to recognize that these momentary difficulties throughout a persons lifetime will not diminish the self-worth they possess. Self-worth comes from within, and any outside influences that say otherwise are wrong. Initially I let other factors define my self-worth, but I eventually realized that I establish the value I possess. In the same respect, other people must understand that no one person can tell another how much value they have because it is up to that person to figure it out for themselves.