Torn

Copyright © 2013 by L.C. Small.

Library of Congress Control Number:     2013909360

ISBN:     Hardcover     978-1-4836-4497-4

Softcover     978-1-4836-4496-7

Ebook     978-1-4836-4498-1

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted

in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system,

without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the

product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance

to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Rev. date: 05/20/2013

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CONTENTS

CHAPTER 1

CHAPTER 2

CHAPTER 3

CHAPTER 4

CHAPTER 5

CHAPTER 6

CHAPTER 7

CHAPTER 8

CHAPTER 9

CHAPTER 10

CHAPTER 11

CHAPTER 12

CHAPTER 13

CHAPTER 14

CHAPTER 15

CHAPTER 16

CHAPTER 17

CHAPTER 18

CHAPTER 19

CHAPTER 20

CHAPTER 21

CHAPTER 22

CHAPTER 23

EPILOGUE

DEDICATION

This goes to my husband John for putting up with my long nights and long hours in writing this book; thank you for being understanding. You are wonderful.

To my children, thank you for being understanding and letting Mommy do her book; she loves you very much.

A special thank you to Lee and the team, what can I say, simply the best! We did it again, and here goes to many more. Without you guys I couldn’t have done this; you are the best team I could have on board.

To my readers, a big thank you and please carry on reading. It is a joy to write and see so many people enjoy my books.

CHAPTER 1

Standing and watching the crowd of people dancing on the dance floor brought a smile on Connor’s face as he perused his club with his brother Patrick somewhere patrolling the ground floor. The music was blaring out of the speakers that were everywhere in the ceiling as the people were dancing, having fun. The booths where they could get some privacy were all full with the red lights on, meaning that they were all taken up; they had been an idea that they had introduced three years ago, proving to be a huge hit. It had been a pole dancing club when they had known it before they had taken it over, but the license had been revoked so they turned it back to a normal nightclub. The clientele wanted the adult theme brought back in, so to cater to the request, they applied for the special license and they got it surprisingly enough. The booths were scattered just around the edges with special lighting and special walls to block out most of the noise from the dance floor area, as they were meant to be quiet booths after all. It was classed as an adult club even though nothing erotic went on, but the element of adult fun was there nevertheless.

In the office where he was standing by his big window—that he could look out of, but nobody could look into—he smiled while holding his Big Boss cup of coffee; the cup actually said ‘The Big Boss’ on it, and this always made him smile as he never thought from the day he got a job there as a barman that he would be the boss. The club was going down when the police had raided it and found drugs that a punter had brought in. The reputation then went downhill, and the rest was history. The profits plummeted, and eventually, as it was about to close down, Patrick and Connor decided to buy it, making the bank an offer they couldn’t refuse. They had purchased the club for two euros. The bank had looked shocked at the offer, but they agreed as the two brothers were willing to take the debts that came with the club as well. The staff all kept their jobs, so the hard work then began and that had been six years ago. Connor was only twenty-two years old with Patrick being twenty-four. They had the nickname of the Irish Kray twins when they had taken the club on, but they proved everyone wrong, gaining the respect and gratitude of the whole staff over the next few weeks.

Five foot eleven inches with deep brown come-to-bed eyes, clean-shaven with a little silver ear-piercing in his left ear, he stood there imagining what life would be like now without the club. As he straightened his silk gray tie that complimented his dark gray suit, he thought he had done a good job of the club as everyone was happy, but yet he lacked something—someone to love and share all this with. He ran his fingers through his messy-looking hair that looked like the come-to-bed hair; it made him very seductive in many ways, but he still hadn’t found the right woman that had captured his heart since Rose.

Closing his eyes, he could still imagine her dancing on the dance floor one Friday night; she was with her friends on a night out for Christmas. She looked beautiful and captivated his heart instantly. He had been standing by the bar, and her deep blue eyes had invited him within minutes as she looked at him from across the floor. Until then, he had never had an interest in any woman, and after she left, he was still single and alone. He had been twenty-two when he met Rose. Within twelve months, he had so many plans, but she was killed tragically outside when a drunkard stabbed her, thinking she was someone else. She didn’t suffer any pain as she died instantly in his arms; since then, he had not trusted his heart with anyone else. She was the first love he would never forget. Four years later and still alone, yet not alone, he was now ready, he felt, to love someone and share what he had. He had a nice home and half a nightclub, and when he wasn’t at the club, he wrote in a column for the local rag; the column was on the Irish news that was happening that day. He enjoyed what he did as it was different from the nightlife that was used to for all these years. He only did two nights a week now as he found that was enough, but he still did the accounts and handled any day-to-day business with the club when he was needed during the week.

Opening his eyes again, he could see his brother walking back up the big and winding steel staircase that led up to the office. Looking at his watch, he smiled, realizing that it was his turn to go downstairs and make sure all was well. He had to show his face as well, so at least the staff and the people all knew that he existed and was alive and well. He smiled with a coffee in his hand for Patrick as he walked in through the door.

‘Here’s your coffee, Bro!’ he said as he placed it on his desk on the other side of the room.

‘Thanks, Conn. You will make a good husband, you know. Find a woman, man. You need one. You have been alone too long now, four years, isn’t it?’ he said, raising his eyebrows as he sipped his black coffee that was on his desk.

‘I will find one, don’t worry. Just worry about yourself. I am fine. Anyway, that wonderful woman of yours is all you need to think about. Is she all right with baby two on the way?’ he asked. Patrick smiled as he sat down in his big black leather swivel chair that was at the back of the desk. Patrick stood the same height as Connor; he just had lighter hair than Connor, as Connor’s was dark. He also had a dark complexion; Patrick was more a mousy brown but still had the dark complexion. He was wearing a black suit and a deep blue tie. His wife, Claire, was expecting their second child; she was only five months pregnant, but they all worried about her as her morning sickness had taken her so poorly at first.

‘I will. Besides, she insists on looking after you as well. She thinks we are still young boys under the suits. She makes me laugh many times. Anyway, don’t change the subject. Find a woman you need to be happy again. We all worry, you know,’ he said, looking at Connor, who agreed as he felt that what his brother was saying was all true. He just wondered if this woman existed out there. With Patrick thanking him for the coffee as he tucked into some paperwork that had his name written all over it, Connor made his way to the door. He looked in on his brother one last time before the loud music came blaring through the open door again. Once the door was closed, the office was silent again as the music couldn’t be heard in there. Walking down the staircase, he smiled as he saw all the dancers and the drinkers at the bar, all chatting and smiling. The bar was in the middle of the ground floor, so everything was based around it and the staff could see everything that was going on. But it was proving to be a good night with no troublemakers or anything so far. Maybe he could leave the club on time that night; that would be a first.

Walking through the crowds, he smiled at his staff behind the bar as they served the punters that were waiting for drinks. He stood at one end of the bar and leaned forward to ask the head barman if things were all okay. He nodded that all was okay and said it was pretty busy as well and that had made their night go faster. The staff were all still the original staff with a few new faces, so they had all kept loyal to the club. That had pleased Connor as he could trust them, which in this day and age meant a lot to him. Connor was handed over a bottle of alcohol-free beer; he always had one when he walked round to see if everything was okay. He thanked the barman and carried on his way to the DJ. He was standing there with his headphones on, moving his head from side to side as Connor gave him the thumbs-up. The DJ gave back the thumbs-up to say he was okay as he spoke into the microphone to announce a birthday and embarrass the poor girl in front of the whole nightclub. All eyes went to a poor woman that had blushed just as red as the lights in the booths. All the booths were full, so he walked past them, giving them some privacy, wondering what they actually did get up to. but that was only things that they could tell, leaving the imagination going wild.

With the bottle of beer in his hand, he made his way outside, where the bouncers were standing and doing their jobs. They were big lads, taller than Connor and built bigger than he was. Connor was not slim; he was well built but not too solid, just right he thought as the gym never called him, though good food always did. These boys at the door were both bald-headed six-foot-two boys that you wouldn’t want to argue with at anytime of day or night, yet Connor knew that underneath they were just as soft as him. They were human after all. They had been there since Connor could remember too. These boys were loyal and had protected the staff when the times were rough; there had been some rough times without any doubt, but they had got through together. They considered themselves to be a big extended family as that was what they were now after all the years that they had all been together. They had been his rock when Rose was killed just outside the club. It was an accident, yet it was what had been left behind, the sorrow and the heartache, but life went on and so did everything else.

With a pat on the back for the boys, Connor left them to do their job after chatting with them for a while. They were getting busy again outside with some girls that were trying to get in; they were underage, and even Connor could see that. The club was popular now, more than it had ever been. Clock-watching wasn’t normally a thing that Connor did, but he just wanted to be home that night. He couldn’t pinpoint why; something was telling him to just go home. Looking at his gold watch on his wrist and seeing the time, he smiled. It showed 12.45 a.m. He knew that he only had fifteen minutes to go; then he could go home. Kilarney was only an hour away from his beach house, so the drive was quite pleasant in the early hours; he found that his was the only car on the road many times going back home.

Making his way back to the office, he smiled as all the women gazed at him with the look of desire and mmmmm. But none of them made his heart click or even made it alive; the flame was lit in there, but it was low and the glimmer of light was so subtle that even he wondered if anyone would ever ignite it brighter. One day, he thought.

Connor opened the door to the office. Patrick was on the computer, looking over some paperwork and sighing. He looked at Connor, wondering where to start. They had advertised for a barman two weeks before, not expecting many applicants, yet they had short-listed twenty. It must be a popular place to work. Now they just had to decide who could come to the tryout that Saturday night. In three nights’ time, Connor would do the induction and see who was good enough for the job, so Patrick smirked.

‘Your deed for tomorrow, Bro, twenty applicants left from what we had. You decide who gets the tryouts and then let me know who has the job. I just can’t do the looking anymore. My eyes have gone square,’ he said as he laughed, rubbing his eyes. He truly had had enough as he hated computers and paperwork at the best of times; that was why he left all that to Connor. Connor didn’t mind as he enjoyed doing the paper side of the business. He enjoyed the challenge, as all life was a challenge. Connor took the papers from Patrick and smiled, knowing that he would be busy with these the next day. They trusted each other, so Patrick just left Connor to do what he thought was best.

‘Okay, Bro, leave this one with me. I will get it all sorted. Right, I will be going if that is okay. I will do the books as well tomorrow, so you know where I am if you want me,’ he said as he hugged him and let him sit down to finish his coffee.

He left the club smiling, knowing that Patrick was still inside so all was okay. He walked over to the car park, the bouncers smiling and saluting him good night, Connor returned the salute. He was quite appreciative of his truck as it had been loyal like the family at the club. It had never let him down. His uncle had given him the truck when he had turned twenty as a present for his birthday, and now though the truck was eight years old, it was still just as reliable as the day he had been given it. The off-red color made it something that he could spot in a car park a mile away, which was nice. It was a nice color and he felt it was not so noticeable as normal trucks. His Chevy truck was like his lady until he decided that another lady would have to share the limelight.

With his key fob, he unlocked the central locking and smiled as he knew he was going home. Placing his briefcase on the passenger’s side of the truck, he belted himself up with his seat belt and put the key in the ignition. As soon as the engine of his truck roared to life, Jack Johnson came blaring through the speakers, putting a smile on his face. He liked to listen to Jack Johnson and John Mayor when he was driving around; he found them therapeutic to listen to. He was just a normal guy making his way home; the things in life that he wanted were what everyone else wanted. His fuel light was about to come on in ten miles, and he knew of a petrol station on his way home to fill up. He found that filling up at night was much better as it was quieter and Kilarney was the closest to the club to fill up anyhow. On reaching the petrol station, he knew he was only thirty-five minutes away from home, and that didn’t seem so bad. He pulled up next to a pump and got out of the truck and smiled at the attendant who was behind the security glass in the shop. Connor waved to the attendant, and the attendant waved back. Picking up the diesel, he filled up the truck till the clicking noise set in, indicating that it was full. The attendant authorized the payment of his card through the pump machine and let out another wave so Connor knew that it was okay. Climbing back into his truck, he restarted the truck, and Jack Johnson came back on to escort Connor home. He was now feeling tired.

Working nights always was different, but trying to explain it to someone who had never done night shifts was always hard, as they couldn’t understand that the body clock wasn’t like normal sleeping patterns anymore. He would be in bed for 2.30 a.m. and up again at 5.30 a.m. He had a column to do and hand in by ten o’clock that morning, so he couldn’t have his six hours’ sleep that day; normally he didn’t get up till 8.30 a.m. He didn’t mind as it was now Thursday and then it would be Friday. He was dreading Saturday as he had to do the tryout for the barmen and show them how it was done. He liked the hands-on training, but he just felt that he wished that he didn’t have to do it; he just didn’t have the energy or the wanting to do it now. His energy was draining at this time of night.

Pulling out of Kilarney and onto the roads that bent and twisted around, he smiled as he knew he was on the short stretch home and at this time of night, he could put his foot down a little and just get himself home. He just wanted to get home for some reason. He couldn’t say why, but something was telling him that something was going to happen. He hadn’t had that feeling in a long time, yet he couldn’t say what it was. The lights of the streets got less and less as he came into County Kerry. The smell of the sea was in the air, and the sky looked beautiful with the stars just sitting there looking beautiful and natural, just as they were intended.

Pulling into his drive, he switched off the engine and felt relieved on reaching home. It was only 1.50 a.m.; he had made good time as he had got home ten minutes before time. He could manage some coffee time before bed then. His routine never changed; he wished deep down that it would as he wanted so much to have someone waiting for him when he got home. Why was he feeling like this? He hadn’t felt like this for such a long time; maybe his heart was feeling fed up with the loneliness and just wanted to be loved again. He couldn’t perform miracles, so it would have to cope like it always did.

He let himself into the house and locked the door behind him, glad he was home. He kicked off his shoes and put them by the bottom of the stairs, out of danger. He walked to the kitchen and switched on the kettle and looked around. He had worked hard to achieve what he had. He had bought the beach house five years ago; it was just a shell that needed someone to own and possess it. It needed someone to put a little love into it, someone like Connor. He had stained and stripped all the floorboards and put rugs everywhere so it gave the floor a warm feeling. The deep red rugs and the dark stained floors made the house look warm and cozy.

Looking around, he saw a home with the big black leather corner suite that could seat eight people and more by squeezing them in. The coffee table was made from real oak, matching the dining set and the mantel above the fireplace. The house was not so much a bachelor’s pad, nor as homely as a house with a woman’s touch. It showed who Connor was and the home comforts he had. The figurine that stood by the fireplace was of two lovers holding each other, and in the corner was his guitar. He could play and sing along to his guitar; he found that relaxing and therapeutic as he could always escape into another world. Some people lose themselves in a book or a film, but he found that the guitar was the thing for him. As he made the coffee, he decided to step out onto the porch and sit in the rocker for a few minutes while he drank his coffee; he just needed to appreciate the natural and the free things in life, as nature had intended.

The sound of the sea with the waves crashing on the waves sounded so beautiful that as he closed his eyes, he could picture them; a tear came down his face as he saw Rose smiling at him. She loved the ocean and the way it was just free and natural. Oh, how he missed her even now. Even after all this time, when he was lonely, she came in his thoughts, only for a split second, but it was enough to make him realize that he was human and he needed to be loved as well. He was a man after all, not a robot. Destiny would show him the way, fate and God would all do their magic. He had to keep believing in his dreams that they would happen again, one day they would, he thought as he wiped the tears from his face.

As he stood up and made his way back inside, he heard something in the house next door. Maybe the person living there had moved in now, as there had been noises of drilling and moving furniture over the last few days. He was glad that he had a neighbor now; it had been empty too long, for more than two years now to be precise. He hoped that this neighbor was nicer than the other one; the old man that lived there before never came out and called everything and everyone a humbug. He was a very angry old man that just wanted to be left alone, so maybe this neighbor was nicer. He could always hope.

CHAPTER 2

The room was dark, and the voices were getting louder in her head; the tears rolled down her face as she saw him getting angry with her. She kept on saying no, but he could not understand or just didn’t want to understand. He was shoving her around, and she felt herself being pushed into a corner with no escape. She had to get away from him; she didn’t like him when he was drunk and high on drugs like he was now. His friends had led him to be like this. She hated them for it, but she knew he wouldn’t change and yet she didn’t know what kept her there. She didn’t love him anymore; she hated and despised him if anything. She had to get away as it was her only escape. She kneed him in the balls, and he held his penis and private areas, keeling over with pain and shock. She moved away and aimed for the door; she was walking toward her freedom when she felt a sharp pain in her shoulder. She shut her eyes, and her hand instantly moved to her left shoulder. She felt pain, then there was darkness.

She could hear voices again, but these were not the voices of before. These were comforting voices, yet she couldn’t open her eyes. She was trying so much to see the faces behind the voices. All they kept saying was ‘Keep still, darlin’, he is never going to hurt you again. The police have him. He will not hurt you’. Then suddenly she opened her eyes and looked around with sweat pouring from her and leaving her cold. Caitlin had another nightmare. Luckily, she didn’t have many of them anymore, but they seemed so real as she sat up in bed, wiping the tears from her face with the hankies that she kept at the side of the bed. Why did this same nightmare haunt her every time where she couldn’t see the faces and could just hear the voices? Craig was the monster in all of this. She touched her scar and cried deep into the pillow. After sobbing for a few minutes, she saw that the time 1.45 a.m. She knew that she wasn’t going to sleep straight away, so getting up and putting on her plain cream dressing gown with red roses, she made her way downstairs.

Her neighbors must have got home as she could hear the truck pull up on the drive. She wasn’t one to introduce herself unless she knew who they were; maybe she would say hello tomorrow. But with them coming in this time of the morning, she might never see them, as they must be night workers for them to get home this time of the day. Their lives had to be more exciting than hers. She was always fed up after having a nightmare, but she had to pick herself up so she put the kettle on. Making sure the kettle was on, she stood by the back door to watch the sea and the waves crash against the rocks. The kitchen light was the only light on. There were no lights in that part of the street at all; it was like nomands land, the way she liked it. Nobody would ever find her there, which was reassuring as she felt safe and secure for the first time in a long time. Craig had hurt her inside and out without even realizing it, and he had nearly destroyed her. He had not won completely as she was 99 per cent there; that last per cent was finding the man she could trust again. She wondered if he even existed, but she had to have some faith somewhere.

Through the patio glass door she could see her reflection as the light shone onto the glass. She could see herself as a young woman that needed a man, but she was in no rush. She stood at five feet five inches with chin-length dark red hair and had an olive complexion and normal. She wore pajama bottoms with a matching camisole top and a dressing gown. Nothing to write home about, yet she wished she was. She was petite and wished she had more up front but was grateful to have been given what she had; she had curves in all the right places that God had intended, so she was content with herself. It was the way she was meant to be.

Making herself a coffee, she looked around. She could see just one box left in the corner out of what seemed thousands. Moving house had been traumatic. That was one thing she wouldn’t do in a hurry again. She was just grateful to have been given another chance to live. She could have died she was told. The knife had missed her main artery by only an inch. She was lucky.

She poured the water into the cup, keeping an eye on Billy, her dog, who was fast asleep in his bed. It made her smile; she had someone that needed her. He was loyal and always there for her. She had rescued him two months ago from the dogs’ home as she always wanted a dog, she had said to herself. He was the best thing she had done. He was a godsend. He was her loyal companion, and when she was low, he would be there for her. She couldn’t ask for more really. He was the closest thing she had to having a man in the place. Taking her finished coffee and sitting down on her armchair, she looked around her home and at the three-piece suite that she had chosen herself from the designs. She liked what she had chosen. The sofas were cream and red with a gold strip just on the edges of the cushions; the off-white floors had red rugs just to take away the coldness and harshness of the wooden floors. She liked the cozy look of a cottage, not a beach hut. The kitchen was all in the modern white gloss-effect wood with black granite worktops. It was done to her taste as she had wanted it to be her home, and that was what it was. The dining table was made of wood that matched the mantel of her fire; it was made of a light wood with white chairs that had red trimmings in the form of cushions tied at the back. It was where she was safe and nobody could hurt her. The box that remained had just photographs that she hadn’t had time to hang up yet. They were of the whole family, her rock. Without them she would never have been able to go through what she had and survive as strong as she had.

Deciding to venture outside as the sea was calling her to say hello, she opened the door and heard the sea call out as the waves came crashing against the rocks. The sea had a will of its own. She felt jealous of nature and how free it was; she envied what it could do. But then she looked at her second chance of life as a tear of joy came running down her face. She had become what she was now—strong and independent, a woman who knew what she wanted—yet she still just needed someone to love. She was human, and she needed to know that her heart was alive again. It was beating, but the light was so low that she didn’t know if anyone could ignite the flame to get it relit.

She heard her neighbor close the door as they retired for the night; she thought but she didn’t recall hearing any voices outside. She hoped that the neighbor wasn’t a loony living there or a hermit that never came out. She had heard stories about the old man that had lived where she was now living. He had never ventured out, and one of the women from the shop that she owned with her sister had said he was like a real-life former Scrooge in modern times. That put a smile on her face.

She owned a bakery with her sister in the local village down the road, and her folks lived ten minutes away from her house. Traveling was not a problem as she had an eleven-year-old jeep that never let her down. It was reliable, and it was all hers and paid for, just like the house. She had paid for it from her compensation money that she had received from Craig as he had admitted to what he had done. Anyway, she thought, that was the past. She had a beautiful business that was flourishing; she was the bread maker and her sister was the cake maker. Connie was wonderful, two years younger but a grown-up twenty-four-year-old. She had to be as she had to support Caitlin when her world was crumbling in front of her very eyes. She had picked up the pieces and shown Cait that still had something good to offer.

Cait hated having sleepless nights like this as she knew she would keep awake all night and suffer the next day, yet what else could she do? Even the drink wasn’t helping; normally it did, but not this time. She would try reading her Kindle, but then the concentration was not that great. She knew that the words would just go over her brain, and not one word would be absorbed to say what the book was about. She just wanted to know what life was going to throw at her now. She just wanted to know the future. Even though she believed in destiny and fate, she found it hard to trust. She had to find the right man to see if she ever could; she was sure she could.

It was 2.30 a.m., and she was fully awake now. She decided to do the books as that would be something that she was sure would make her feel tired, she hoped. She walked over to the box with the shop receipts and the big blue accounts book and sat herself at the breakfast bar, hoping that it would do the job.

*     *     *

Connor lay in bed with just his boxer shorts on, hoping that he would fall asleep soon as it was now 2.30 a.m. The fact that in three hours he would be awake was not an enjoyable thought in itself, yet it was something he had to do. He found that writing the column was like a stress therapy in itself. He was given a topic the day before in the hope that the general public would comment on it to him so he could write his thoughts, creating a column that was argumentative yet conservative as well. The topic he had to write about that day was ‘the euro’. Smiling, he wondered what would happen with that as everyone had hated it when they had been introduced to it. They all wanted the punt back in as it was worth more, but they had to go with the flow to a point. Nevertheless, it was the public opinion that mattered that day; he would see what the opinion was.

Connor lay on his side in bed, looking at the empty side of the bed, reaching over with his arm to feel it cold and heartless. He wished it was holding somebody that he loved. Maybe one day, he thought as he closed his eyes and eventually dropped off to sleep, as he had to be awake in only a few hours’ time.

*     *     *

Caitlin sat at the breakfast bar looking at the receipts and recording them as she had been taught to do. She had been a bookkeeper for her family’s small business when she had come back home, so she knew how to do the books. Connie appreciated that as she hated doing the books and wouldn’t even know where to start. She was just glad that Caitlin had decided to come in with her on the business. Connie had always wanted to have her own business but not with a complete stranger working with her. Caitlin had felt honored to have been asked, and it made her feel wanted. Eventually, after an hour of doing the books, she felt tired, so closing the blue book and closing the box up, she decided to see if sleep was calling. She hoped so as she felt tired and needed her sleep. She had already had five hours’ sleep so another two hours would do her fine. Her watch read 3.30 a.m., so if she woke up at her normal time 5.30 a.m., she would have got enough sleep; she thought she would try.

Settling herself into bed, she snuggled up against the warm duvet and closed her eyes, dreaming of her Mr Right—tall, dark-headed, and just smiling at her with love in his eyes for her. She wasn’t asking for too much, was she? Before long, she was fast asleep as the night started to turn to day. The sun was trying to come out as she rubbed her eyes, and while stretching, she found she wasn’t as tired as she thought she was going to be. She was quite awake as the June sun came through the window, making the warm peach walls give the effect of warmth and coziness in the room. The bedroom was furnished with a big double bed that had the softest duvet she could possibly get as she was liked her comforts, she was a girl, and she wanted her home to be what she wanted.

She stepped out of her bed onto a soft rug that made her go uhhh as her feet felt soft underfoot. She liked the early-morning feel normally, but she needed a shower to wake up that morning. Walking into the shower, she stripped her nightclothes and put them in the laundry basket. She stepped into the shower where there was warm running water. Standing there with the water cascading over her body, she closed her eyes, placing her hands on the wall with the tiles pressing against her palms. She let the water just wash away the shower gel and shampoo, relaxing her and getting her ready for the day. She didn’t know what lay ahead. She felt ready for whatever life threw at her that day. Stepping out of the shower and into a warm towel that hugged her body, she dried herself off in the bedroom and got dressed in some tight running shorts with a vest top and some plimsolls. Rubbing her hair virtually dry, she just messed it in place with her fingers; she liked the results. She wasn’t M/s Prim and Proper—never was and never would be.

With perfume on, only lavender, and lip gloss, she was ready for the day. The bumbag that she wore around her waist contained all she needed for her run. Her MP3 player played the music into her ears as she ran with Billy. She was now ready except for the dog lead that was hanging up near the back door keys. She made her way downstairs and opened the door, as she put the dog lead around her neck. Billy sat on the top step of the porch, waiting for his master. She stepped onto the porch and closed the door, making sure it was locked. The keys went into the bumbag, and off she went, switching on the music, listening to Westlife as she ran down the beach with Billy. Running past Connor’s house, she couldn’t see anyone awake, so she didn’t have to embarrass herself if he was an old man or an ogre or even someone that frightened her. She was relieved in many ways as she ran along till the house couldn’t be seen.

*     *     *

Connor opened his eyes as he had rolled onto the other side of the bed, feeling very tired as three hours’ sleep was the best he could do that day. He would catnap in the morning once he had done what he had to do; he had done it before on no sleep at all before, so three hours was a bonus. He stepped out of bed as he stretched, showing his body that was cuddly but firm at the same time. He wasn’t the gym type as he didn’t get the time; besides, he loved his food too much. He was determined to have a good day; he owed it to himself. Yawning, he stood up and, feeling the soft rug under his feet, he uhhhed as it felt nice.

Walking toward the bathroom, he found he needed the shower more than he realized as it was the only thing that would have woken him up that morning. Stripping his boxer shorts off, he stood under the hot water as it cascaded over his body in the shower; he could have stood there all day. He liked to be sitting down and writing his column by eight o’clock in the morning, but he had all the applicants to go through as well now. He had a full busy day that day. He sighed as he wished he could get an easy day just once. He had been in the shower for a good twenty minutes, when his phone bleeped for incoming message. Who was that now? he thought.

Stepping out of the shower, he switched it off as he towel-dried his hair and placed the towel around his waist. He walked into the bedroom, smiling as he now felt awake. Connor went for his phone that was on the bedside table and smiled as it was the editor of the paper just reminding him that the opinions for the column were downloaded on his e-mails so he could access them and complete the column. Connor smiled as he knew that a response at 6.00 in the morning wasn’t a good time, but he felt like a cheeky boy at that moment; even though he was a freelancer, he still had to answer the editor for the contact.

Okay, Brian,

Received and understood.

Cheers,

Connor

He texted back so the response was sent back with approval. He knew he had to give the best he could, which he did as he didn’t know any other way. He was a perfectionist, maybe a fault in some people but he found it a good trait. He liked strong people that could look after themselves and stand up for themselves, but he also wanted to be the hero, saving the damsel in distress. Getting up and drying himself, he got dressed in some jeans and a checkered polo top; he always liked wearing long sleeves as he just felt more comfortable with them. He knew what he wanted, and he got what he wanted most times. He just was determined to achieve the best he could.

Once he was dressed and shaved and ready to start the day, he walked downstairs, seeing the beautiful day ahead of him. Making himself a cup of coffee, he found the outside was calling as it was now 6.30 a.m. There was no noise next door, so he knew he could enjoy the quietness but he was curious to see who it was that lived next door. He would find out soon enough. Living next door, he couldn’t really avoid them; they were neighbors after all. Sitting in the rocker, not expecting anyone to come past, he sipped his coffee and just looked at the view so he could picture what he had dreamed of, as it was in front of him.

CHAPTER 3

Connor had to look twice as he saw a black Labrador retriever come running past. The dog stopped, wagging his tail at a very fast speed. He seemed a very happy dog. He hadn’t seen him run across before, but it was ideal for dogs. He was expecting an older person to come walking behind the dog; instead, he was surprised as he saw the opposite. He could see something that he never thought he would see. He stood up, speechless. He hadn’t felt like this since he had seen Rose. She was beautiful, she was gorgeous, and what a body, he thought. Her legs and bottom showed off all the curves that a woman should have, and she had the most beautiful skin color that was perfect for her. He couldn’t stop looking at her as she stopped and turned to see him too. She had sensed that he was looking at her. His heart had stopped for just a minute as he was so fascinated by her. Where did she come from? Had she been sent from somewhere to test him? Because if she was, it was working; he hadn’t felt like this for a long time. The women he saw at the club never had the effect that she was having on him.

Now the questions all started to get into his head: Who was she? Where did she come from? And Where did she live? He had to start breathing as he put his cup down on the table next to the rocker. Holding onto the banister of the decking porch, he just smiled at her and kept looking, realizing that he probably looked like a total idiot, as he couldn’t even speak.

Caitlin looked at the man that was looking at her with a feeling of gladness and excitement; she had not felt like that for a while—in fact, never. She was experiencing some new feelings that she never knew could exist. Who was he? She knew where he lived. He was her neighbor. Wow, what a neighbor to have. Billy had run up to the house and was sitting on the decking of their house. Connor hadn’t noticed Billy as all he could see was Caitlin. Caitlin couldn’t take her eyes off him; she should have been feeling scared and be running away, but she just wanted to be pulled closer and see who he was and what he was called. She didn’t have the guts, but she couldn’t move her legs. Pulling out the MP3 music earpieces from her ears, she smiled back at him, letting him know that she had acknowledged him. He certainly had done something, she thought, trying to get her breath as she just felt like, she didn’t know. All she knew was that she had to do something as she couldn’t stay where she was standing; she would have become a statue in time.

Connor didn’t know what to do next; he had never been in a position like this before. All he could see was an angel sent down from heaven to test him. He didn’t know what to say. That was a first, as he always knew what to do and be in control, yet now he felt useless. He couldn’t move his feet. He was frozen in that position too, but she looked mighty fine.

Billy ran around her feet as he barked, trying to get Cait’s attention. It didn’t work at first; then, as if he broke the trance, Billy ran toward Connor. Connor moved and stood on the top step of the decking steps as Cait came walking toward him. Billy had decided that they both had to be together one way or another.

‘Billy, come here!’ said Cait in a soft Irish accent that Connor liked. He hadn’t seen something so beautiful in such a long time. As she stood closer, he could see her beautiful red hair and petite little face with the perfect lips. Her body was proportioned perfectly for her physique. as he could take a closer look at her now.

‘I am sorry for Billy coming up like this. He doesn’t normally approach strangers. I am so sorry,’ she said. Connor was still smiling.

‘That’s okay. Don’t worry, he is a lovely thing, isn’t he?’ said Connor as he could see that Billy was guarding his owner who was very beautiful, but Connor didn’t even know her name.

‘I am Connor, Connor O’Sullivan!’ said Connor as he held out his hand for her to hold, longing to touch her skin to see what it felt like. Her skin looked so soft that it was calling to him to just touch her.

Shaking his hand, she relaxed a little as she could see that he was harmless; if anything, he was more scared than she was. ‘I am Caitlin Kennedy,’ she replied as she shook his hand, feeling his soft skin. He smelled so nice too; she had never smelled that aftershave before, but she could get used to it quite easily. She had to stop these ideas in her head as he might not actually like her or even be available as the house was huge and too big for one person to live in.

‘Glad to meet you, Caitlin!’ he said, still holding her hand. He didn’t want to let her hand go, as she felt so nice. She smelled so nice; he adored natural smells that reminded him of how a woman should smell; lavender and roses were what he could smell as he liked the scents of a woman.

‘Nice to meet you too!’ she said as she released the handshake realizing, the time as she managed to look at her watch. She had to open up the shop in twenty minutes, or Connie would be lost and stuck in her car till she got there.

‘The pleasure is all mine!’ he said, trying not to sound too pushy or forward, even though all he wanted to do was kiss her lips and just hold her. He wanted to just say how lovely she was, but he couldn’t yet. Part of him longed to tell her, yet they had met just five minutes before; all he had was her name.

‘I am your new neighbor. I moved in yesterday, so if you need any sugar or milk, just knock on the door. We are neighbors, besides,’ she said, hoping he would take her up on the suggestion.

‘Welcome to the neighborhood!’ he said.

‘Thank you. It is only me and Billy, so if you hear Billy in the day, please don’t worry. He is normally okay,’ she said, waiting for him to say if he was spoken for. She had put her neck on the line and probably was about to find out he was happily married with two children or something, even though she couldn’t see a wedding band on his finger.

‘Well, it is only me in this big house too. So the offer is here as well. If you need anything, you know where my door is,’ he said. He could see the smile on her face; they both knew that they were single and free.

What a start to the day, thought Caitlin, but she really had to go to work.

‘Well, the house is beautiful, Connor. I don’t mean to be rude, but I must run, or I will be late for work. But remember the offer of the door being open. It stands, okay?’ she said as she turned around, making her way to her door, which he could see as he stood on the bottom step of his steps to the decking. She knew he was looking at her as she stepped foot into her house, smiling and wishing that she had met him before Craig. He was what she needed, not the monster that Craig had been. As she stepped inside, she waved and smiled, letting him know that she was glad to have seen him, as he was to have seen her.

Caitlin stood by the door, leaning against it, and sighed. Wow, she thought. What a man! How did she have a neighbor like that? She must have done something good in life to get that. She wondered what it was, but she was glad that she had. He was sexy and so hunky that she didn’t know how to feel. She hadn’t felt like that before. How she was going to cope that day not even she knew, as he was already on her mind and she had only seen him ten minutes ago. She was going to struggle today. She made her way up the stairs, making her way to the bedroom to get ready for work. What a man, she thought. How was she going to hide the lack of concentration from Connie? She picked up on everything. She had to try; besides, baking the bread always kept her busy, so she was never ever thinking of other things, except that day as she realized that she had put on her T-shirt inside out. He was having an effect on her already. What was he doing to her? She would like to know, she thought. Putting her T-shirt on the right way, she managed to eventually get dressed and look the part. She was ready and managed not to run late, much to her surprise. She got her car keys and made sure that Billy had enough water and treats for the day so he would be okay. She was ready to leave for work; she unlocked the front door and looked again to see that everything was okay.

Unlocking her car was a simple thing she found, keeping her mind on the driving was the hardest. It was like his image was tattooed on her brain already: his big brown eyes, messy brown hair that she just wanted to put her hands through, the come-to-bed look in his eyes, the smile that was cheeky, and the attention he paid to her. He was so divine. She was going to struggle, she knew, as she could see that the image was not going anywhere in a hurry. Starting the car engine up, she slowly did her seat belt up and put the jeep in gear. Reversing back slowly, she straightened up the car. Looking back in her mirror, she could see his truck that she had heard in the early hours of the morning; she could picture him driving it now as she had seen it yesterday when she moved in, wondering what the family were like, but now she knew it was only him.

She made her way down the road; she knew she had a full day’s work ahead of her. She had to try to concentrate, and she had to just to avoid being interrogated. But Connie was clever, picking up everything that she could. Caitlin had to be clever. Within a few minutes she was at work, pulling into the space that said her name and Proprietor. She still couldn’t get used to that even now after six months, but it felt good as between them they had achieved something here. The business was doing well, so they didn’t have too much to worry about. Caitlin sat in her car for what seemed a minute and started to daydream about Connor O’Sullivan. She liked the name very much as it suited him; everything suited him in her opinion. She had to click herself out of the daydreaming trance as she had work and a business to run. Stepping out of the car and locking it up, she walked toward the door and saw that Connie had arrived. She pulled the car into her space, and as she switched off the engine, she waved and smiled to Caitlin. Caitlin waved back as she unlocked the door, opening it ready for her sister, who was the best sister she had hoped for; she was her rock when she needed someone there.

‘Ready for another day, Sis?’ asked Caitlin, trying to get her talking about things so she could daydream about Connor and not have to talk too much.

‘Yeh, I think so. Besides, I am looking forward to making my chocolate pudding with the chocolate oozing in the middle. I know that Mrs O’Sullivan will come in for one today. It is a favorite of the whole family, she keeps telling me so I will keep baking,’ she said as she smiled.

‘That sounds good. You will have to make me one too. I have never tried your pudding. I think it sounds delicious,’ said Caitlin, really hoping that she could serve Connor a piece of it when he did come around. She was hoping so much that he did. She had to stop thinking of him. She had bread to make, lots of it.

‘I can do that without a problem, Sis. Just let me know when,’ said Connie, who seemed to go off the scent of her lack of concentration. But now she had to make bread. She threw herself into making the dough. She poured the ingredients into the big mixing bowl and carefully added the ingredients. The smell of yeast always made her go mmm as it reminded her of fresh toast in the morning, and that was such a delightful smell. While mixing all the ingredients together, she was daydreaming of Connor, wondering what he was doing. He was there in her head, and she couldn’t shift him out of there. Connie kept looking over at her, wondering what was wrong as she knew something was on her mind, but she couldn’t figure out what it was.

‘Cait, are you okay?’ she asked but got no answer. Cait was deep in thought, daydreaming about Connor.

‘Cait, come back to planet earth, Cait!’ she shouted so Cait could hear. Cait looked at her in a daze, and smiled back at Connie.

‘Cait are you okay?’ she asked, looking concerned and very worried. She hadn’t seen her like this before; in fact, this was a first for her.

‘Yeh, I am fine, just tired, didn’t get much sleep last night, had the nightmare again,’ she said as she wondered if she had got away with it. For a second, she thought that she had, but Connie kept on looking at her. She knew that after the nightmares she was okay, so something else was on her mind. She would interrogate her all day slowly to find what it