Editors:

Writer:
Group 1: Edwin, Greta, lily
Check for spelling, punctuation, grammar errors. Correct mistakes for them. Red pens only.
Group 2: Grace, Amanda, Evan
1. Cut long sentences in two
Read sentences out loud do you run out of breath halfway through? Make them two!
2. Axe the adverbs (a.k.a. -ly words)
Adverbs weaken copy because these excess words are not truly descriptive. Rather than saying the girl runs quickly, say
she sprints. Instead of describing the cat as walking slowly, say he creeps or tiptoes. The s creen door didnt shut noisily,
it banged shut.
3. Stick to one voice
Do it start in 1st person? Then it should probably finish with it! Start with 2nd or 3rd? Then finish with it!
4. Remove redundancies
You dont need to say the exact same thing with two words. Did you catch the redundant words in that sentence? Heres
a better version: you dont need to say the same thing with two words.
Circle all of these and mark what you are requesting them to do. Blue pens only.
Group 3: Robert, Joree, Nehya, Ian
1. Cut in order to
You never need it. If youre going to the kitchen in order to make a sandwich Your sentence could be tighter. Because
youre really going to the kitchen to make a sandwich.
2. Dont use start to
Did you start to walk the dog, or did you walk the dog? Is the car starting to roll down the hill, or is it rolling down the
hill? Start to is a more difficult phrase to deal with than in order to, because sometimes you do need it. But more
likely than not, you dont
3. Nix that
In about five percent of your sentences (total guess from the grammar police), that makes your idea easier to
understand. In the other 95 percent, get rid of it! I decided that journalism was a good career for me reads better as I
decided journalism was a good career for me.
4. Replace thing with a better word
Usually when we write thing or things, its because we were too lazy to think of a better word. In every day life, we
may ask for that thing over there, but in your writing, calling anything a thing does not help your reader. Try to
replace all thing or things with a more descriptive word.
Circle any of these you find and then mark what you are requesting them to change. Black pens only.
Group 4: Ismahan, Dani, Jaden, Rizan
1. Try really hard to spot instances of very and really
This is a very difficult one to remember. I almost never get it right, until I go back through my copy, and the word jumps
out at me, and then I change the sentence to This is a difficult one to remember. Becaus e really, how much is that
very helping you get your point across?
2. Refer to people as who not that
John is the guy who always forgets his shoes, not the guy that always forgets his shoes. Its easy to make this mistake
because that has become acceptable in everyday conversations. But its more noticeable when its written down.
3. Avoid currently
Currently is virtually always redundant. Dont write: Tom Jones is currently a communications director. If Tom Jones
is anything, hes that at that moment; you dont need currently to clarify. Just get rid of it.
4. Eliminate there is or there are or Then at the beginning of sentences
This is often a symptom of lazy writing. There are lots of better, more interesting ways to start sentence s. Oops. See how
easy it is to make this mistake? Instead of starting a sentence with there is, try turning the phrase around to include a
verb or start with you.
Circle any of these you find and then mark what you are requesting them to change. Green pens only.

Editors:
Writer:
Group 5: Andrea, Dalton, Alexa, Ernest
13. Use contractions
Which sounds more personable: I am heading to the market that is close to my house, or Im heading to the market
thats close to my house? Contractions make your writing sound friendlier, like youre (not you are) a real person. And
that makes it easier to connect with readers.
14. Steer clear of the ing trap
We were starting to or She was skiing toward Whenever you see an ing in your copy, think twice about whether
you need it because you probably dont.
15. Check your commas with that and which
When used as a descriptor, the word which takes a comma. But the word that doesnt. For example: We went to
the house that collapsed yesterday or We went to the house, which collapsed yesterday.
16. Replace over with more than for numbers
Over 200 people did not like your Facebook page more than 200 people did. Of course, everyone will know what you
mean if you use over. But using more than is one of those little details that will help your writing shine.
Circle any of these you find and then mark what you are requesting them to change. Purple pens only.
Group 6: Gabi, Tyler, Brynna
Does the lead pull the reader into the story? Yes/No
Did the writer avoid a question lead? Yes/No
Try to get readers thinking without asking questions.
Did the writer avoid using questions and so as transitions? Yes/No
Please circle all so words on their page.
Is there detail? Yes/No
If no, circle three places on their page you would like detail. Think colors, smells, size, etc.
Has the writer painted visual images? Yes/No
Is the story focused on one incident or idea? Yes/No
Or, is there more than one idea? Yes/No Number all of the ideas.
If there is more than one idea, are they all connected? Yes/No
Does the ending leave you with a lasting thought? Yes/No
If no, suggest a way the writer can make their ending powerful.
Has the subject of the interview been directly quoted at least once? Yes/No
How many times? ____ Check which ones they have: ___direct quote ___indirect quote ___partial
Are the quotes attributed correctly? Yes/No
Does the story flow? Is it organized in a logical manner? Yes/No
Correct all of these. Pink pens only.