Living In Tolerance

Beginning to mould myself into a T-shape personality

Intolerance and I were non-different.

As he held my collar I give a tight slap on his face. Next I was caught by another five
classmates, who I had believed to be my friends, who were punching me
everywhere. There was a cycle chain around my neck and my shirt was torn apart.
This happened in the middle of history class in the presence of the teacher whom my
class was most frightened of. I was crying like a baby and the teacher just watched
me helplessly.
My intolerant condition
I can vividly remember such countless incidences from my teenage and later when I
couldnt tolerate an insult in the form of a remark or joke on me and I busted into
anger; damages were serious always. Until teenage I didnt know how to deal with my
anger and later it formed into a habit. It was my auto pilot mode to become angry. I
paid heavy prices for my anger and reconciled by taking up Krishna consciousness but
very soon the same nature came back in dealings with devotees also and my
attempts to use Krishna consciousness as a bandage to hide my shortcomings were
exposed.
Beginning towards Tolerance
By holy arrangement I met Vrajalila Mataji and Ekavira Prabhu who introduced me to
practice of Compassionate Communication and to my another teacher Sukhavaha
Mataji that I took up this practice which begins by communicating with self. I started
observing my mind and how patterned it is to respond in some particular ways. I have
changed completely but drastically for I have embarked on my journey towards
conscious practice of devotional service. Though, the pattern of intolerance keeps
coming back but it has loosened much and I can see it alive and different from my
pure self.
Srila Prabhupada on Tolerance
Srila Prabhupada writes number of times tolerance as one of the essential brahminical
qualities for devotees of Krishna amongst truthfulness, humility and others. And it is
the one of the qualities described by the crest jewel of all verses from Sikshastakam

prayers Trnad api sunicena, taror api sahisnuna, one has to be humble like a blade
of grass and more tolerant than a tree. A tree gives shadow happily even to a
woodcutter who has come to cut it off or one who has come to plunder its fruits,
leaves, branches, bark or the complete existence.
Examples
Srila Prabhupada repeatedly mentions Hari Das Thakur and Prahlad Maharaja for they
exhibited extreme tolerance. And he also mentions us to be like Nityanand Prabhu in
preaching for the tolerance exhibited by him in delivering Jagai and Madhai while even
Chaitanya Mahaprabhu became agitated.
More dimensions of tolerance
Bhaktivedanta Purports have many aspects of tolerance beginning from tolerating
dualities in the form of happiness and distress, victory and defeat like hot and cold in
life. Tolerance is also identified as a quality to forgive others by tolerating insults and
dishonour, giving up vindictive mentality, having no expectation for reward and
coming out of bodily conception.
Other places it is mentioned as ability to conquer desires, giving up controllership
tendency and accepting inconveniences for carrying out the injunctions of the
scriptures. Compassion and tolerance are the two most essential qualities for a
devotee and this entitles one as a Sadhu. Wrath supersedes Kama and thus it is a very
essential aspect of Vaishnava character. Thus, it is mentioned to be a quality that
appears in second stage of Devotional Service and further grows into forgiveness, not
wasting time, detachment from sense gratification and lack of false pride.
Highest bar of tolerance
It is also an absence of desire to give up duties and to become rich, famous and
beautiful like others. Radhanath Maharaj sets a very high barometer in a discourse as,
As we grow in devotional service, tolerance is inability to tolerate honour. With
above discussion, tolerance emerges a very prominent quality that lies at the base of
our Bhakti creeper. In SB 2.7.37 Srila Prabhupada mentions that we can cultivate
tolerance after we have become humble. Strikingly, sunicena appears before
sahisnuna in the Shikshatakam third verse.

Though Prabhupada writes that all good qualities appear for who takes us devotionals
service and he mentions chanting of holy name also as the only effective means to
develop tolerance. But he repeatedly emphasises on developing all these Brahminical
qualities also. Now, I have to decipher what else happens between chanting and my
desire to develop tolerance.
T-shaped personality
As a student of Design-Thinking while

pursuing my post graduation in Business

Design were introduced to the concept

of a T-shaped personality. A person

who grows wide while he is growing

deep in one area. For an example, a

cricket player is expert in playing cricket

but he does a bit of singing, modelling..?

Arjuna was expert in archery and dance

but he knew other arts as well. Bhima was

expert in suing mace but he knew

archery and other skills. For devotees it

would mean to key focus on the aspect

of Krsna eka saranam, while considering

developing other aspects and qualities also. In due course as the Krishna conscious
practices grow deeper, the other qualities will manifest, provided they are practiced
consciously.
Devotees, primary function is to Always remember Krishna and never forget Krishna
but to assist that goal they do numerous other things like playing musical
instruments, cooking variety of foods, printing books, teaching, organising and many
more. There is whole diaspora of activities which manifests in the form of a culture
and a community but the primary function of all this is to connect self and others with
Krishna.

My program for developing tolerance

c
There was a man who thought it would a marvellous to cover the whole earth with
soft linen and walk over it without hurting his feet; an impractical idea. A wiser man
would make soft cushioned shoes that will allow him to walk anywhere without pain.
When intolerant we want to change the whole world to suit or false ego but in
tolerance one identifies real ego as the servant of Krishna and His devotees.

Tolerance and other good qualities are a natural to a Krishna conscious person. Thus,
a plan to become tolerant will be to become Krishna conscious while deeply desiring
to develop the quality of tolerance for it facilitates being Krishna Conscious.
Before embarking on such a mission I asked following questions1. Am I doing it the right way? Yes, I am following Srila Prabhupadas instructions
under the guidance of devotees.
2. Do I have the right tools? Chanting is most effective tool but with guidance we
can develop some doable ways.
3. Have I set my expectations right? Only expectation that I have is to please
devotees and Lord and not of becoming a Superman devotee.
4. Are there any Role models? Yes, there are role models whom like Srila
prabhupada. In 1970, Rath Yatra in San Fransisco Prabhupada was offered a new
dress by devotis. Dhoti was too long, a cowboy shirt with pearl buttons
emridered I gold and a hat which was short for him and he gracefully wore it. He
is our Founder Acharya.
And the program needs to have following features:1. Clear and specific In Srimad Bhagvatam we can see, several devotees how
devotees had clear and specific goals like Prahlada Maharaja, Vrtrasura,
Pracetas amongst other and thus they never deviated from their goal.
2. Appropriate placements Kashyapa placed the Pumsavana vrata in Ditis life
at an appropriate timing and in a way that Diti had to follow it for her need was
urgent. Creating an urgency and intensity creates a mood to follow a schedule.
3. Gradualism In Dhruva Maharajas penances we can see that he gradually
increased the degree of intensity, so is to be followed by us. Nothing will change
on the first day or may be in the first year.
4. Persistence- Impediments may come but if the faith is fixed in Lord as
exhibited by Pandavas, Kunti Devi and Bhishma Deva then success is
guaranteed.

What would I do everyday?

1. Reminders Reminding myself everyday that I have to work on this. I have put
post its in my room. On my locker in Brahmachari ashram I have pasted a quote
words that are true and kind can change the world. Because for me it has to
begin by controlling my speech.
2. Shastra Caksu Scriptures help me to get an absolute picture of my
identification. Intolerance arises of material hopes. Reminding me of the futility
of material hope is also essential. Pingala regrets Santam Samipe ramanam
rati-pradam, vitta pradam nityam imam vihaya, akama dam dukha bhayadi

shoka, moha prdam tuchham aham bhaje jna, she mentions to serve
insignificant people and desires she neglected the lord in heart who can bestow
al the happiness on us.
Later, due to her realization her state changes as described by the verse asha hi paramam dukham, nairashyam paramam sukham, yatha sanchidya
Kantasham, sukham susvapa pingala. After giving up material hope she was
pacified and slept peacefully.
Remembering these verses and others can relieve us from the hope of material
enjoyment.
3. Attentive Chanting Chanting with the prayers and mood to develop this
quality of tolerance. Srila Prabhupada has recommended chanting as the only
solution for developing all the qualities. Because it awakens our spiritual identity
where all the qualities naturally belong to it.
4. Everyday Inspiration Reading lives of personalities like Kunti Devi, Bhishma
Dev, Srila Prabhupada, Yamuna Devi can inspire us to take our lives un right
spirit for the difficulties they faced our humongous as compared to mine.
5. Positive affirmations revisiting some positive affirmations like, There is
hope for me., Krishna loves me, I am not this body but a spiritual associate of
Krishna, are hope giving.
6. Right Association Friends are very essential for a healthy Krishna conscious
living. I have few people in my life who can give me right feedback, their time
and association. And fortunately, they have great tolerance.
7. Creating bridges Between tolerance and intolerance is a scope for
expression as often intolerance is expression of unfulfilled needs. Anger can be
bridged by learning tools like Non-violent communication which help to express
our needs and fulfil them spiritually.
8. Milestones estimating the progress with time and maintaining a daily diary or
chart will help me to see how much I am endeavouring. It could be done with
the help of the format in Appendix.
9. Prayers Tolerance could be a veiled menace, it can change its temperament
anytime. Ultimately, it has to be bridled as compassion and love and prayers are
an effective way to achieve that transformation. Everything above is a
sadhakas endeavour but Krishnas mercy will make it complete. I pray to Lord
by first glorifying him and then expressing my wretched condition, hoping to
get his mercy.

c
I have started consciously integrating the above elements in daily life but the success
depends if I have the blessing of devotees of the Lord Krishna.
There was dog suffering from mange, itching skin disease. Would run here and there
for relief. First, he would sit in shade, but it would soon uncomfortable and then

would run to a bush. From there it would go to beach and dig sand and from there in
sunlight in open and then under a park bench. But nothing brought relief, it was
miserable. Because it is not the place but it his condition which made it
uncomfortable.
Material condition can be cured if we take shelter of Krishna or Guru, like a dog
master would apply balm to heal its itchy condition, and heal our material disease.

APPENDIX
Parameters/
Days
Have I
revisited my
reminders?
Daily reading/
1 hour
Did I attempt
to chant
attentively?
Was I
prayerful in
chanting?
Mangal Arati
SB Class
Did I pray
today?
Have I
revisited my
affirmations?

Submitetd by:Madhu Madhav Das

(Word Count 2011)