Lauren Skaretka-Mendoza

Professor Graves
LANG 120
090716
Then and Now: Writing, Reading, and Thinking
What is the background regarding how I came to be the writer, reader, and thinker that I
am today, you may ask? Well, its rather complex, various events strung together to get me where
I am today. Reading, writing, and thinking are all similar as they are different. Over the course of
eighteen years of my life, only being able to remember from the age of two to now, its a large
range of learning, observing, and absorbing.
This is the way to do it. This is how you plan to write, who to read, how to write
a rough draft, all until you finish the project, my 4th grade teacher explained, or what I could
specifically remember and piece together to create a coherent sentence from my memory. That
was around the time that we needed to start to buckle down and start knowing how to properly
write stories because we werent 3rd graders anymore. We were close to summer and 5th grade
would be around the corner. She wanted us to do the best we could and encouraged story writing
in our journals in the beginning of our English portion of school. That was the bulk of it. The
outlines, brainstorming, awfully doodled circles with short ideas connected by not-so-straight
lines. They looked like spiders. Spiders to help us get from point A to point B, or more like the
beginning, rising, climax, falling, and resolution. It was rather a way to conform to school
standards of writing and it altered our thinking processes to be limited to a certain way of
planning. The fact that we were also graded on our thinking processes made me feel exposed,
they could see how much or how little I thought. Too much detail that I didnt have enough room
for, or too vague and short. Then again, Ive always struggled in an English class. I love writing,

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Lauren Skaretka-Mendoza
Professor Graves
LANG 120
090716
dont get me wrong, but it was really difficult when I was younger; in kindergarten when kids
would start to write and learn their ABCs and 123s.
Youre mixing up your as and es, Lauren, my stepfather would angrily slide
my paper back to me. I didn't understand my lack of the ability to understand and maintain
proper use of the new knowledge I had acquired, but it didnt stick. I got numbers like 123
backwards and wrote it as 321. As for letters, I would spell my name as Leuran, mixing the e and
a up. I was told that I showed symptoms of dyslexia, but I apparently grew out of it. At times, I
will mix letters and numbers up when writing my novel, short stories, or doing math homework.
In a form, these would be considered as word salad; writing things that I was able to understand,
but others couldnt. This was the beginning of my writing and reading, and in a sense, my
thinking. No, this is for a fact the start of it all. At a young age, I knew I had a difficulty when I
would play School at recess and pretending to be the teacher would not work out in my favor. So
in total, Ive moved on from that, challenging myself more and more. In 3rd grade, I was reading
Magic Tree House, Spiderwick Chronicles, Lemony Snickets Series of Unfortunate Events, and
towards the start of Harry Potter. I knew that pushing myself this hard, reading things that were
above my grade level, as well as being number one in AR reading out of my whole school was an
accomplishment. That I knew that it was worth all the hard work and effort that I would put in to
get to be at my main goal. To be ahead of everyone my age.
Grades 5 to 6 were meshed together, focusing more on certain things pertaining to
essays and research papers on animals and book reports. It still was the brainstorming of 4th
grade, but now we took in the new puzzle piece of editing and revising. To change words from
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Lauren Skaretka-Mendoza
Professor Graves
LANG 120
090716
good to great or stupendous, expanding our vocabulary, similar to the studies of Nancy
Sommers. I truly did enjoy learning grammar and all of the little annotations and marks to make
when properly editing a paper. Being able to write a paper in pencil, mark over it in red ink, and
write the completed draft in black ink made me feel completed, in a sense, that I was doing
something right for once. I knew I was on the path of wanting to be a teacher again, more of an
art teacher due to a huge influence of my art teacher in grades 3 through 5, but I knew it was
something I wanted to do. To teach kids, to watch them grow and be the best they can be, to
reach their fullest potential and not let certain standards to hold them back. To have them open
minded. In total, a way of being the unique teacher to slightly go against the standard curriculum.
Someone memorable.
Moving across the states made it difficult for me. Reading took up so much of my time.
Being barely twelve to make the choice of leaving all my friends back in Las Vegas to move to
Charlotte gave me the mentality that oh shit, its time to grow the heck up and know what I
want to do already. Im almost a teenager to make decent decisions. That event led to my
thinking to open up and I had to grow up faster than most people my age; independence. To
make such a decision, to leave my dad (who eventually moved out here) and to go to a new
environment, new people, new learning curriculum, I had to be mentally ready for this choice.
So, as mentioned before, the long road trip over here, I read so many ebooks from my phone to
occupy time, and I found a website to upload my own writings. Thus, causing me to observe
other writers in the age range of 13 and up and grasped the concept; how to properly write and
how to write as a whole.
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Lauren Skaretka-Mendoza
Professor Graves
LANG 120
090716
When high school started, the typical poetry of The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost and
various writings of the Gothic poet/writer Edgar Allan Poe were huge influences on me. I
enjoyed the genre of writing and soaked up their successes, applying them to my own, regardless
if it was a research paper or an essay about different species of wood that can be used to build
chairs for a final exam. In all honesty, fictional writing is rather difficult to apply to a research
paper, but I enjoy challenging myself and I would get the job done. I would look at it as a form
of writing in third person and nothing but facts. I cannot entirely recall freshman and sophomore
English classes since they were entirely not memorable, just the books we read. Thats when I
found out about memoirs. The Glass Castle by Jeanette Walls and The Things They Carried by
Tim OBrien were two of my favorite books, so again, two more huge influences on my writing.
They were like autobiographies, but it seemed to be like writing a fictional story with facts as
well. At that point, I felt that I would easily write and read anything that came to me. As for the
thinking aspect of it, it would come naturally as it seemed to have for such great writers of my
liking.
Once junior year came, it was such a huge impact on my life. Family issues, as well as
needing to switch schools and be on lockdown. I felt like I was overwhelmed, my mind caused
me to think that I was in Alcatraz. I couldnt do the things that brought me, of what I believe to
be, the concept of happiness. I felt dead inside, I have been diagnosed with various mental
disorders. I turned to use of coping methods of writing, reading, art, and music to start to pull me
out of the fog, to its extent. I began to slack a bit with the will to do the things I enjoyed since I
felt that it would easily be taken away from me. It managed to alter my thinking. I was prohibited
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Lauren Skaretka-Mendoza
Professor Graves
LANG 120
090716
to do things that came naturally to me, or what I worked hard to accomplish to make me how I
am now. I took on reading Stephen King towards the end of my junior year, being the biggest
influence, more than the other writers that I have mentioned earlier. I took on the psychological
aspects of the fictional genre of horror and mystery, since I took AP Psychology my sophomore
year. I was truly nuts for that class because it helped me understand more about myself and
helped regarding writing my stories, as well as having that background information to help me
with research papers. How to properly reach out to a certain audience of my choice. Even taking
AP Literature and Composition, which was a Senior AP class, I had the basis for rhetorical
thinking, but my teacher was awful and I have no regrets admitting it. I needed someone or
something to let me find that inner voice, the purpose, the way of thinking as a writer.
Write how you feel, and feel your writing. Get lost in your words, let them engulf you.
Not all those who wander are lost, Mr. Long, my creative writing teacher told me when we had
an in depth conversation during my only semester my senior year. He opened my mind up once
again and he most likely had a plug in fan to blow the fog away that consumed my personal
bubble, clouding my thoughts and being the worst critic ever towards myself. He allowed me to
freely write without judgement. He would only give 99 percent grades as the highest because 100
was perfection, perfection being something unachievable. He let me embrace the writers I
enjoyed, never scolded me that it was too dark, too detailed, or too long. If I never had him as a
teacher, I think I would wander and truly be lost. I found my purpose. My voice. My thinking.
My writing. My reading. All from him. Im dedicating the novel that Im writing to him. It was
originally a short story in his class that he liked enough and told me to expand it, to challenge
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Lauren Skaretka-Mendoza
Professor Graves
LANG 120
090716
myself more than I did with only a 3500 word count limit. Thus far, its over 26000 words and
not finished. With him as almost a mentor, I wrote prompted short stories, my first memoir, and
various other things to get me to the point Im at now.
Over the course of eighteen years of my life, only being able to remember from the age of
two to now, its a large range of learning, observing, and absorbing. Ive came to the end point to
reflect back on what I have taken in and be thankful to be where Im at now, but there is still
more to learn, given the new reading materials and rhetorical thinking that I must do now.
Hopefully this sums it up without directly telling how in a single sentence because I would be
lost for words and write a whole paper instead. I honestly thought that I had reached the point
that I knew I could learn nothing more of my writing, but college opened up my mind. Especially
the community college that my professor pushed me to apply my short story for a scholarship,
which I still have no idea to this day, that I magically won 1st place in the short story category.
Now being here in a university, with what feels to be real professors, instead of dumbed down
teaching that was equivalent to standard at a college level, this class is what I needed to rip my
mind in half to open it entirely, as well as to contribute to my creative writing minor. In
conclusion of this narrative, I still have more to learn, to read, to write, as well as to think.
Nothing is finalized, due to new things that will cross your path and cause you to rethink your
past, to apply this new acquired knowledge to the future.

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