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Lyna's Children

By Dinah Long
14/11/16 Edit

Chapter 1
15th May 1927
Show by describing setiing that it is 1927
Silence is all that can be heard from Leynolville. The sun
scorching over the population of 134. Shutters pulled as wide as
they can go to let the nonexistent breeze into the houses
(describe) and shops (signs ) of Leynolville. Add in more
descriptive detail add description of sun and shde and sunshine
and heat. Build heat of tension
Suddenly a woman in a floaty white dress, broken brown boots
and a pentacle around her neck ran up the road. Dust billowed
towards the sky as her feet slapped along the ground , her dress
whirling around her. People began to stick their heads out
doorways and windows hissing "whore", "witch", "devils spawn".
Put here Her brown hair matted with threads going through it,
sticking to the sides of her face because of tears which pour from
her ominous eyes.
She lets out a death churning scream, her high pitch filling the
street. She is like a kettle boiling, screeching to let you know she
is ready. Yet nobody comes. Angry eyes stare at the distraught
woman, praying to God that the believer in Wicca would leave
their sacred town.conflict= womanvs. society
"Please, you have to help me. I need a doctor. My son he is sick,
he is going to die please, somebody, anybody!" She cries out
But nobody come. instead the shutters are closed. The heat did
not stop the people of Leynolville from closing their doors for
nothing could be worse than seeing that wench shrieking. Three
times she called, three times she begged. Sshe pleaded, yet
nobody came

Describe how she walks away or how she gives up she walked
away in despair, back towards her dying son. (present tense)
more effective / immediate
As soon as she was gone the shutters were reopened and the
town people poured onto the streets disgusted taking up their
disrupted business at the intrusion on a Sunday afternoon, Gods
day. how dare that lover of Satan show her face. Make some
dialogue here Women talk about their fear for their children and
babies and how she coulda cursed em' or worse. The men talk
about protecting their wives and children and how they won't let
some tramp walk along their streets and if it wasn't Gods day
they woulda killed that witch.
Children huddle in corners relaying stories, snickering about the
pagans who are going to hell where they belong. Thankful that
their future children wouldn't have to worry about being to close
to a diabolist.
Describe using 5 senses
Introduce the first family here As evening fell the street cleared
up as the wives prepared dinner and children played with their
dolls and toy cars, while the fathers sat in the living room chair
reading the newspaper or a novel, the way a family should be.
Not concocting potions and sleeping with lonely travelers as a
form of income. Mayor's daughter
Create the characters that return later plusd add dialogue
between them

Chapter 2
The church bell rings to signal 6 o'clock. Dusk is beginning to set
and the sky is turning pink. Children are on the streets skipping,
running, hopping and laughing. repeat same street scene
A sudden chill rippled through the air, wrapping its self around the
necks of anything it can get its hands on and slowly choking them
to death. The clouds began to pull together linking up to block out

the light and mist started to swish around their ankles, darkening
the beautiful sky. The children can feel her presence as she gets
closer to the town, slowly making her way up the hill.
Bring a character from chapter 1 into hereThey screamed for their
parents in fear but the mist held their tongues from making a
sound. As her footsteps became nearer the mist began to pull at
the children's hearts, up to their throats then down to their
diaphragm, twisting them into submission.
The mist disperses to create a pathway, the children fall to their
knees at the sight of the figure striding towards them. Her dress
billowing around her, dark eyes stormy and dangerous, hair
whipping in the hurricane that enfolds her, in her bony hand she
holds a silver athame.
She stares into they eyes of five children. Their eyes glazing over
at the touch into their souls. Singling them out among their peers
and her voice echoing through their heads.
"Your parents have taken my son, I shall take your children. An
eye for an eye. But your children so I won't be forgotten and their
mistake shan't ever be forgiven. I curse you with misery, hate,
poverty and misfortune. May the sky rain upon you the curses of
evil. I am Lyna and you shall never forget me as long as my blood
stains your town!"
With that she lifts the athame above her hand and chants to the
moon goddess, her guardian and her horned god. Speaking in
tongues unrecognisable to the children, she pulls the athame
down from the sky, towards her torso. As the blade pierces her
abdomen, the sky rumbles with thunder and lightning illuminates
the darkness. Her knees buckle and she sinks to the ground in
folds of white. Her blood protrudes from the gaping hole in her
middle, coating her in crimson. Her eyes flutter to a stillness ,
darkness raging from them, a crazed smile spreads across her
dying lips and she closes her eyes, body relaxing as she
welcomes death with open arms.

Tense = present
Describe street scene so we show its
Change the highlighted areas
Success is when you let the descriptive
element out
Families should be introduced earlier
Character introduction is crucial so
they develop throughout story
Wheere does the mist originate from
( her spell ) weather has to be odd and
change e.g mist on crops = crop failure
You are in the middle of things =in
media res
Chapter 3
15 May 1947