LETS TALK ABOUT

MENTAL ILLNESS
PAGE 2

Why You Actually Dont Want To

Be Prescribed Adderall | PG 5
The Many Faces Of OCD | PG 7
Why Im Not Ashamed Of Receiving
Treatment For My Mental Illness
And You Shouldnt Be Either | PG 15
M EN TA L H E A LT H A N D W E LLN E S S IS SUE // APRIL 22, 2016

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TAYLOR DRYSDALE
Taylor is a freshman studying psychology and Spanish.
You may contact her at drysdale.t@husky.neu.edu.
Northeastern

Lets Talk About Mental Illness

Its time to start a dialogue.
The first time I had a panic attack, I thought I was going to die. I had received a somewhat
upsetting text from a friend but nothing most people couldnt handle. Next thing I knew, I was
lying on the bathroom floor sobbing, shaking and hyperventilating uncontrollably. I couldnt
move, and couldnt speak; I was completely paralyzed with absolute terror. It lasted about 20
minutes, and I didnt tell anyone what happened. I was 15.

HOW GIRLS WITH

ANXIETY LOVE
DIFFERENTLY

?
8

HOW TO BECOME MENTALLY

AND PHYSICALLY HEALTHY

6
15
?

10

THE STRUGGLE OF HAVING

A NERVOUS HABIT

Creative Team

From that experience, I learned about the stigma of mental illness. I didnt want my friends to
know. I didnt even tell my family that I was becoming overwhelmed with anxiety and depression.
I didnt want people to look at me differently. I became shockingly good at hiding parts of myself
from others. I missed school the day after having a panic attack at a sports event because I didnt
want anyone to wonder or ask what had happened.
This is why the conversation must begin.
Mental illness is one of the most taboo topics of discussion in the current vernacular. Having
such an illness is considered shameful and people who suffer are often blamed for their condition.
A depressed person is told, just get out of bed and youll be fine. Anxiety attacks are brushed off
as insanity or even worse, an imagined event. However, these diseases are not excuses to be lazy
and they cant just be gotten over. Mental illness is a battle within the mind, against the mind.
According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, 1 in 5 adults will struggle with mental
illness in any given year. One in five. Chances are that you know someone with a mental illness
whether you are aware of it or not. The list of possible disorders includes, but is not limited
to: adjustment disorder, panic disorder, phobias, OCD, PTSD, generalized anxiety disorder,
ADHD, Aspergers, autism, Tourettes, eating disorders, depression, bipolar disorder, dementia,
Alzheimers, personality disorders, schizophrenia, and substance dependence. While this list
might seem extensive it is important to acknowledge the wide reach that mental illness has.
Since having my first panic attack, I have had approximately a dozen more in the past three
years. Comparatively to many others, my experience is rather mild. My panic disorder and
depression are well controlled by taking daily medication, and I live a rather normal life. However,
I am one of the lucky ones. I have found great therapists and my family and friends have been
so supportive of me. Yet, for others, still living in the shadow of their guilt, too afraid to speak up
about what they are dealing with, are not as well off. According to the American Foundation for
Suicide Prevention, 42,773 Americans die by suicide each year. That puts it as the tenth leading
cause of death in our nation which is above death by liver disease and homicide. For youth ages
10-24, it is the second leading cause.
How many more people have to die before mental illness becomes a national conversation? On
January 5, 2016, President Obama spoke out about mass shootings and their relations to mental
illness. He said, We must continue to remove the stigma around mental illness and its treatment
and make sure that these individuals and their families know they are not alone. Hopefully this
will open up conversation about those who are struggling with a disease of their mind and allow
sufferers to come forward and get the help that they deserve.

-CREATIVE DIRECTOR: CLAY REBBER -LEAD DESIGNER: // SAMANTHA WILSON

-MANAGING EDITOR: NIA DECAILLE

Imagine being suffocated and still being able to see the world around you. Imagine not being
able to muster up the courage to leave your house every day. Imagine seeing invisible demons
all around you who you think are out to get you. Imagine needing to wash your hands six times
before eating. Imagine shouting uncontrollably when deep down you know that you shouldnt.

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Put yourself in those shoes and now imagine someone saying it is all made up. Hearing people
say they are so OCD in a joking manner. Seeing a tweet about how someone wants to kill
themselves because they have too much homework. Mental illness is not a joke. Mental illness
is no laughing matter. It is a serious threat that must be addressed with respect and compassion.
Because until you experience it firsthand, you just have no idea.

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SCENE

The mind is a fascinating and amazing thing. It has created great works of art, built grand
architecture, cured sicknesses and invented the technology we love today. We owe our livelihood
to various minds Isnt it time we started caring about them? Raise awareness for mental illness.
Stop the stigma. Raise awareness for mental illness. Stop the stigma. And if you or someone you
know is struggling, dont be afraid to ask for help.

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We Need Better Counseling Centers

If We Want To Stop College Suicides
LAUREN KELLY
Lauren is a freshman studying
biomedical engineering. You
may contact her at Lauren.
kelly@gatech.edu.
Georgia Tech
Student suicides need to stop.
Homework, tests, projects, clubs, sportsall of it is
enough to make anyone have a nervous breakdown, but for
the students with anxiety, all of it is overwhelming beyond
the point of reason. As were heading into the final stretch
of the spring semester here at Georgia Tech, professors
hastily try to cram in that final project or test before finals
week. The piles of homework are getting higher and our
grades are getting lower. Most people are at least managing
to tread water, but I feel like Im drowning far below the
surface where no one can hear me.
Within my mind, I am at a crossroads. Part of me still
wants to do well in school and attempt to make it out with
As and Bs, but the other part of me just wants to hide under

ODYSSEY AT THE UNIVERSITY OF ALABAMA

my covers and cower until

the semester is over. I am
trapped in my own personal
civil war, and I have no idea
who is going to win.Trudging
through the piles of schoolwork and tests and projects
feels impossible, but I have to keep going if I dont want
to either repeat a class or fail out of Tech entirely.
So many students are diagnosed with anxiety or
depression or any other number of mental illnesses, and
it affects us every day of our lives. Going to class when
you physically cant get out of bed because of depression
is nearly impossible. Drowning in homework sucks, but it
gets even worse when anxiety rears its ugly head. College
is stressful for everyone, but its even more so for those
of us struggling with a mental illness. But the worst part
about all of this is the lack of mental health centers on most
college campuses.
College campuses have begun
to realize just how important it
is to have mental health centers
on campus, but it isnt enough
to have just one or two licensed
therapists on campus. Recently,
Huffington Post reported that
the problem doesnt just stop
there. College communities
are finding it hard to meet
the demand that comes with
higher enrollment. For example,
Georgia Tech is notorious for

being overly busy and for turning away students who dont
have a serious enough problem. This happens in schools
across the country. College suicide rates are increasing due
to increasing pressures to do well, increased homework load,
and a lack of proper mental health care. At stressful top-tier
institutions like Georgia Tech, mental health of students should
be a top priority.
According to collegedegreesearch.net, six percent of
undergraduate students have seriously considered
attempting suicide, and half of that six percent didnt tell
anyone. When the counseling center wont see you, who
will you tell? College suicide rates are rising, and we need
to do something about it. Imagine your best friend gone
because she couldnt get the help that she needed. Imagine
your own light fading out because you just couldnt handle
it anymore. Think about how many people could have been
saved if they had only had the help that they so desperately
needed.
We need to do something about
the lack of mental health
centers in colleges. We
need to start caring about
the mental health of
students all around the
country who are so close
to ending it all because
they dont feel like they
can do it, or they feel like
they have no other choice.
End the stigma, and stand up
against suicide.

SCENE

Why You Actually Dont Want

full-fledged conversation with her mom about

her boyfriend in the middle of the quiet section.
The girl thats talking so loud that its all you
can think about, occupying all of your focus.
Well, thats what every single person in the
room is like when you have ADD. Distractions
that are easy to ignore to someone without ADD are intensified
and, instead of focusing on the task at hand, Im listening to the
girl three seats down from me eat her barbecue kettle chips. When
you have ADD, its not just schoolwork you cant focus on. You
cant focus on anything. I tried to watch a foreign film one time
without my medicine, and I forgot to pay attention to the subtitles.
I realized about halfway through the movie that I had no idea what
was going on.

To Be Prescribed Adderall
MARISSA MCCORMICK
Marissa is a senior studying
media arts/design/journalism.
You may contact her at
mccor2ma@dukes.jmu.edu.
James Madison
ADD isnt all that its cracked up to be.
As Im writing this, I can feel my concentration slipping. Noises
have become enticing, I feel distanced from my phone, and every
time someone walks by me in the library, I turn around seeing if its
someone I know. My extended release Adderall is starting to wear
off and my brain is starting to relax back to its natural state. My
ADD is climbing out from underneath the blanket of focus I had
for 10 hours today.
ADD is not all that its cracked up to be. Sure we get prescribed
the precious Adderall so many people want, but at what cost? Let
me put this in context for you. You know when youre at the library
and theres a one really, really loud girl talking on the phone? You
know the one. The girl that, for some reason, thinks its OK to have a

LIFESTYLE

What almost everyone that asks me for my Adderall doesnt

understand is that I take Adderall to focus how you would normally.
When you take my Adderall you feel like you can solve the worlds
problems. You can bang out an entire project in one night. You can
cram for an entire exam fueled by this surge of motivation that seems
super-hero-like. You take my Adderall and ask me, Is this how you
feel all the time? And, unfortunately, my answer is no. Ill never
feel like a limitless mastermind. When I take Adderall, I become a
normal human being. I can finish a normal amount of work, in a
normal amount of time.
My brain works in two modes: on Adderall, and off Adderall. On
Adderall, Im attentive, motivated and energetic. Off Aderall, I can
barely get up the motivation and focus to clean my room or send an
email. And its frustrating. Im frustrated with my lack of drive. Im
frustrated that this is how my brain operates. Scattered, spastic and
very, very unorganized. Theres nothing desirable about not being
able to finish a sentence because you lost thought mid-way through.

The worst thing that you can say to anyone with ADD is, I think
I should start taking Adderall. Having ADD isnt a free pass to
get super-pills, having ADD means you have a disability. I take
Adderall because I have a disability, and it wasnt a choice I had a
say in. I was tested for ADD my freshman year of college. My parents
were skeptical because they didnt know exactly what ADD was. To
them, the kids with ADD were the bad kids in school that caused a
scene and were constantly sent out of class. Not an above average
student in her first year at a university. I went to a counselor after I
was diagnosed with ADD, and they told me with a straight mouth,
Marissa this is something youre going to have to take for the rest
of your life.
When the late night assignments and cramming for the tests are
over, and were all out in the real world, Im still going to be taking
Adderall. When Im raising a family and have to take the right kid to
the right place for soccer practice, Im still going be taking Adderall.
And when Im trying to remember the numbers they just said for
bingo at my nursing home, Im still going to be taking Adderall.
So you tell me youre jealous that I get prescribed Adderall?
Dont be. Im jealous that you can drink a cup a coffee and motivate
yourself once you lose focus. Im jealous that the success of your day
doesnt depend on whether or not you took a pill that morning. The
idea of waking up and performing a full day without my medicine
is foreign to me.
My brain works in two modes, and I dont know which one is the
right one. I dont know which mode is the one the big man upstairs
wants me to operate in. So before you say you want to be prescribed
to Adderall, ask yourself if you need and want to operate in two
different modes. Ask yourself if you want to rely on medicine to
make your entire life work. If I had a choice, I would choose coffee
like the rest of the world.

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Stop Telling People

To Meditate Away
Their Mental Illness
TESLA NEUMANN
Tesla is a freshman studying
psychology. You may contact
her at thneuman@uci.edu.
UC Irvine
No, a green smoothie will not fix depression.
As a current psychology and future psychiatry student, I
have encountered my fair share of individuals who are antimedication. I very often hear criticisms regarding my career
choice. I have heard countless stories of corrupt psychiatrists
over medicating individuals for profit and yes, I admit it, there
are indeed psychiatrists that prescribe with their wallet in
mind instead of the patients best interest. In turn, people
have stigmatized psychiatric medication. To these individuals,
psychiatric medication is simply a source of profit for big drug
companies, and they make their distaste of those substances
well known.

I was discussing this topic with

my sister a few weeks ago after she
told me that she was going to see a
psychiatrist for the first time in order to
treat her diagnosed bipolar II disorder.
To my horror, she detailed multiple
accounts of coming into contact with
individuals who are anti-medication
and additionally described their
ignorance and shame regarding her
mental illness (usually through the
form of suggestions).
Have you even tried exercising?
You should try meditation! It can work wonders.
If you just think positive, it will get better.
Try kale! Healthy body, healthy mind!
Cue me tearing my hair out. This loose grasp on mental
illness is doing far more harm than good. Statements such as
these are insinuating that ones mental illness is something that
they can easily change, they just arent trying hard enough.
This is, in turn, invalidates the severity of their symptoms
and denies the existence of an actual mental illness. We use
anesthetics when getting cavities filled in order to reduce the
pain of the drill, so why would we invalidate the need for
antidepressants that reduce the crippling effects of depression?
It is true for neuro-typical individuals that a good jog can
lift our spirits, or meditation can put us more at peace. For
someone who is suffering, these activities are not enough. A

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kale smoothie or a good workout every so often

will never be a quick fix for a mental illness.
This is where psychiatric medication comes into
play. I wont bore you with the actual science
behind psychiatric medication. In short, the
medication will help balance the levels of neural
chemicals called neurotransmitters. When these
neurotransmitters are at abnormal levels, we
are likely to see mental illness.
Psychiatric medication, while paired with
cognitive behavioral therapy, will help reduce
the symptoms of mental illness and make
the illness seem much more manageable. If
someone can handle the symptoms and trials of their mental
illness without the use of medication, then thats excellent!
However, every case is unique and requires unique treatment,
some of which include psychiatric medication. That is a matter
that is to be discussed between the patient and their psychiatrist.
My sister has reached a point in her bipolar disorder where
she feels like she cannot manage it on her own anymore, and
she has decided that she needs a little help to get it under
control. I have friends that probably would not still be on
this earth had it not been for their medication. Friends
who were a few days away from taking their own life, but
thankfully sought help. With the help of proficient therapists
and medication, they are absolutely thriving. This is the case
with thousands of individuals who suffer from a variety of
mental illnesses, and they do not deserve to be shamed for
reaching out for help.
Stop telling people to just meditate away their mental
illness, trust me when I say that they do not need your input.

IDEAS

How Girls With Anxiety

Love Differently
MACKENZIE MEADOWS
Mackenzie is a sophomore
studying journalism.
You may contact her at
mackenziemeadows23@
gmail.com.
Northern Illinois
You will never regret us.

As a result of constantly feeling like this, girls with anxiety have their
guard up. We handle almost everything with worry, and we are on edge,
wondering what will set off our anxiety next, and just like that, were
back feeling like were in that ocean.
Girls with anxiety love differently. But I promise you, we will love
you like no one else ever will. We will love you like you are our one and
only, youre our safe space, youre the person we know we can trust, and
our love for you and our appreciation for you will never go unnoticed.
We need reassurance.
Please be patient when we ask you for the tenth time if youre leaving.
We are not in control of our anxiety most of time, so we always want
to know what you are thinking, so we are not blindsided because we
want to be in control of something in our life. Even though we make
you repeat yourself, do not ever think we are ever doubting you. The
feeling we get when you know you arent leaving is so calming. We will
love you for it forever.
We need to feel safe.

Youre swimming in an ocean, and without notice or warning

you begin slipping under the surface. You kick and kick, slowly
losing your breath. You cant breathe, but you keep kicking. No
matter how hard you kick, how hard you try to scream, no one
can hear you or help you. Your lungs are burning from the lack
of oxygen; you cant reach the surface. You keep reaching toward
the sunlight; you see the surface, but you cant get there. Youre
stuck 10 feet under. Youre without air; youre without your breath;
you black out.
Thats anxiety. Anxiety consumes you; anxiety becomes you,
and for hours youre alone. Youre drowning, and no one can save
you, no matter how loudly you yell.

Overprotective? Yes, please. Girls with anxiety need to feel safe in

their relationships. We are independent, so dont get confused. We just
need a little more safety. We need to know you are there, and you care.
When we are out in public, we really dont like randoms hitting on us
or making us feel uncomfortable, and wed really like for you to step
in and handle it calmly. Because we need to feel safe, girls with anxiety
will never go out of their way to converse with randoms. You are our
safety net, and you are the only one we will ever want. Please always
remember that forever.
We form close bonds.
We lean on you a little more than normal girlfriends. When were
happy, were happy; when were sad, were a mess. If we feel an ounce

of anxiety, you are the first person we need. You are the only person
we trust to handle us when were shaking, and when we are gasping
for breath. Because you see us so vulnerable, we form a bond with
you that you wont ever have again, I promise you.
We will love you like no one else.
We tend to be a little much at times, yes. However, we trust you
with our entire lives. Anxiety is real; what we feel is real, and knowing
we have someone there who is attempting to understand and not
leaving no matter how many times we question it. We love you
because you are our protector, our lover and our calmer. You are
so much more to us than a significant other. You are our world, and
we are so incredibly thankful for it, and we will tell you 10 million
times a day.
We will never let you go to sleep without feeling loved. No matter
how many times you ask if we are OK, we always say yes because
your happiness is more important than our own, even though you
always know when something is wrong. We will hold you like
no other woman will, and we will appreciate all the small things
you do.
Anxiety controls your body. Anxiety controls your heart. The
simple we need to talk throws our body in flight-or-fight mode, and
we lose feeling. The simple I dont know anymore turns our hearts
inside out. Breakups are hard, but girls with anxiety will struggle to
find themselves again because they put so much faith into you. They
love you more than you can ever comprehend, and once you love like
that, its almost impossible to ever love like that again.
So if you are dating a girl with anxiety, she is not a mess; she is not
a prisoner; she is not a burden like she always thinks she is. She is a
gift that should be treasured. We tend to need a little more TLC, but
we will cherish you for it. Girls with anxiety love differently. But I
promise you, we will love you like no one else ever will.

Orthorexia: An Eating Disorder In Disguise

After this people are still skeptical? They are staying away
from processed foods, wouldnt that be good?

The majority of us are aware of the most common types

of eating disorders, such as Anorexia Nervosa and Bulimia
Nervosa. But if the term Orthorexia Nervosa was brought
up, could you define it?

In all cases of an eating disorder, mental effects take place

as well. The disorder is, at first, motivated by health and
many times, a better fitness level. This, then, can transfigure
into a need for control caused by low self-esteem and fear
of weight gain.

RACHEL ZSARNAY
Rachel is a sophomore studying
Spanish. You may contact her
at rzsarnay@emich.edu.
Toledo
Is obsessing over clean foods really unhealthy?
We live in a a culture where thinness is not only in, but
its praised. All around us we see evidence of this on social
media, in magazines and on television. Thigh gaps and hip
bones are becoming what a young girl considers a goal, and
the F word (popularly known as fat) is now something to be
feared. The terms clean eating and diet have become a
religion to some.
Many young women see the plethora of ads, thin
models, skinny celebrities and think Thats what is
considered beautiful, I need to look like that. These
girls believe the best way to do this is to slash their daily
calorie needs in half, and exercise for hours on end, seven
days a week. Foods they once enjoyed are now labeled as
good or bad, and if the bad foods are consumed,
their chance at that dream body is ruined.
In response to this, a lot of people might say, Hey,
theyre getting healthy and in shape, right? Whats so
wrong with that? In reality, this could be an eating
disorder gone unnoticed.

LIFESTYLE

Othorexia Nervosa: a fixation on righteous eating

According to NationalEatingDisorders.org, Orthorexia
Nervosa starts out as an attempt to eat more healthfully, but
then sufferers become fixated on food quality and purity.
Their life becomes consumed with what and how much they
eat, and if any slip ups occur, their whole world turns
upside down.
Orthorexia is a fairly new disorder. Coined by Steve Bratman,
MD, in 1996, It is not as widely known as its sisters, Anorexia
and Bulimia. Karin Kratina published in her article Orthorexia
Nervosa, that Orthorexia is not included in the DSM-5,
popularly known as the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual
of Mental Disorders. Thats a huge problem, considering the
prevalence is growing.

Even a sufferers social life is affected. Orthorexia sufferers

have very little room in their life for social events and
relationships because the disorder is so consuming. In most
social events, food is a given, which makes it hard for sufferers
to attend. Imagine thinking to yourself Oh I cant eat that, its
processed/has fat/has carbs/has sugar, at every social event
you attend. Pretty difficult, right?
So how can we be more aware of this disorder?
1. Educate yourself further. We have loads of
information at our fingertips, thanks to technology, and
the facts and figures on Orthorexia Nervosa are just a
click away. Visit nationaleatingdisorders.org for more.
2. Be aware of what normal behavior is. None of
us should consider foods as good or bad, rather
than necessary energy our body needs. Food should
not be feared. Exercise is not punishment for eating.
If someone you know or care about says something
that triggers you to think there is something out
of the ordinary, talk to them about it. More than
likely, they are really struggling and need someone
to listen.
3. Implement healthy habits in your everyday life.
Know that no type of food is the enemy, fat is not a
curse word, and exercise should be used as a way to
improve health and if desired, aesthetics.
Stay healthy, and most importantly, stay happy!

FOR FULL STORIES, GO TO www.theodysseyonline.com

The Many Faces Of OCD

My particular OCD is called primarily obsessional obsessive compulsive disorder,

or Pure-O. It gets its name from being purely obsessional there are a few
observable compulsions with Pure-O. Whereas the more
well-known OCD rituals can be observed someone
washing their hands or checking their locks Pure-O is
almost entirely cognitive. You get stuck on thoughts
usually intrusive thoughts, which are horrific.
Intrusive thoughts are often violent, sexual, or both.
One worries they will act on these thoughts, which
are actually quite common. OCD takes hold when
one begins to fixate on these thoughts.
An important disclaimer: intrusive thoughts
do not mean people with OCD want to do the
terrible things. The ritual is in the worry. Its
like this: do not imagine the sweetest old
woman you know masturbating. Dont do
it. You already did it. Intrusive thoughts
work in the same way, except they
arent triggered by a sentence like I
helpfully provided. They just come
to you, and the more you try to not
think about them, the more you
think about them. With OCD,
you become obsessed with the
why why are these thoughts
happening? What does this say
about me? How do I get them to
stop? Am I going to hurt someone?
The good news is, the more worried
the thoughts make you, the less
likely you are to actually act on them.
Intrusive thoughts tend to represent our
deepest fears, not fantasies.

I have obsessive-compulsive
disorder and no, I wont clean
your room. Thats not my type
of OCD.
I am mentally ill.

JAY LOSCAR
Jay is a junior studying
creative writing and childhood
education. You may contact
her at heidiloscar@gmail.com.
Hunter College

This is no secret, really. Many

of the people in my life know
this already. I dont try to hide it.
Like many mentally ill people, I
have co-morbid disorders. Ive
been dealing with mental illness
for over 10 years now, so Ive had time to work through and accept this part of me except for one.
I have obsessive-compulsive disorder.
I rarely speak about it. Even typing those words feel strange.
My OCD doesnt look like what I was taught OCD is supposed to look like. I have
been officially diagnosed by OCD by a therapist, and Ive gone on drug regimens to
treat it. Yet, I still struggle to accept its a real diagnosis because the stereotype has
stayed with me.
People with OCD are portrayed as being obsessively neat everything in order,
everything cleaned, never touching things or shaking hands. They clean constantly.
Sometimes, they do the same thing over and over counting is a common one. These
are certainly valid manifestations, but they arent the only ones.

FOR FULL STORIES, GO TO www.theodysseyonline.com

I do have intrusive thoughts that are

violent and frankly unspeakable that I fixate
on. My fear can be paralyzing and impossible
to express. However, my most prominent and
horrific intrusive thoughts focus on loved ones
dying. I am almost constantly worrying about the
death of my loved ones. I have nightmares about
it several times a week. I go over the calls I would
get in my head. I fear to be responsible somehow. I
find it difficult to shake the images from my mind.
Tied to this is a compulsion to check in to text or
call and ensure all is well. Sometimes, people I havent
talked to in years will get stuck in my head, and I have
to either deal with the thoughts or try to figure out some
way to explaining this situation and get the reassurance I need. Stress makes it worse.
Hoarding which I have early signs of, because my mental illness cocktail hasnt
peaked yet is also a form of OCD. Most people have seen an episode of Hoarders,
or at the very least, know the premise. A person (male or female, never conventionally
attractive) is ruining their own lives and their families by keeping everything. Extreme
cases include animal carcasses and obviously destroyed objects. Their homes are
hazards. They cry, and so does their family. Its captivating because its so destructive
and disgusting. Its obsessive compulsive disorder at its messiest, literally. The
differences between someone who washes their hands until they bleed and the hoarder
paraded on primetime TV are minor details. The dysfunction behind it is the same.
When you have OCD, you know what youre doing doesnt make sense. Its not
like delusions where your view of reality is incorrect. Its like losing control of your
body and your mind. You have to complete the ritual, or the anxiety does not go away.
Youre a machine being piloted by a very scared external force.
Stereotyping can feel instinctual as human beings, we look for patterns. Stereotypes
are one way of trying to identify patterns, even if they arent reliable. With mental
illness, this is even easier to do. Misinformation and misrepresentation abound.
Stereotypes about mentally ill people being violent make it hard to talk about my
intrusive thoughts. Even within OCD, there are certain stereotypes of what this
disorder is like, and I fit none of them. Im disorganized and messy (though I do
check my locks several times before leaving home); I rarely strive for perfection. By
detangling ourselves from stereotypes, we allow ourselves to broaden our perspectives
and become more understanding.

IDEAS

How To Become Mentally And Physically Healthy

to feel good. When obligations and distractions block
the progress of health, though, it starts to suffer.

JAMIE DOUBLET
Jamie is a senior studying
theatre . You may contact her at
jamiedoublet@gmail.com.
Piedmont College
Life is always going to get in the way. Your health should
never suffer because of it.
Life can so often get in the way of what is really important.
Responsibilities, papers, meetings the figurative laundry list
can be endless. The longer the list, the more frequent the neglect
of the subtle necessities. One of the most commonly discarded
concerns can be health.
The concept of health seems to carry the connotation of doctors
office visits and prescription medication. Health is contemplated
on a daily basis in a number of ways some may experience
headaches and take pain-relieving medication to stop the aching;
others may browse a pharmacy in search of the most effective acne
medication. Regardless of the nature of the relationship one has
with health, the conceptualization of daily maintenance and care is
relevant to every single human being, and the end goal is usually

IDEAS

crux of the true basis of health that all other categories should
branch off of striving for mental health and hygiene is just as
important as working for physical health and hygiene.

The predominance of health concerns in

society today especially with WebMD at
the fingertips of web browsers should
indicate the absolute importance of
attentive care, but the opposite can
sometimes be true. According to a
2011 study by the Centers for Disease
Control and Prevention, 69 percent
of adults ages 20 and over are
overweight or obese. Additionally,
the CDC reports that 13 percent of
women and 12 percent of men ages
18 and over suffer from poor health
due to smoking or other high-risk
behaviors.

The human body is an intricate and beautiful machine that

houses every part needed to collectively provide life. The heart
works to pump blood through the circulatory system to every
possible destination. The feet attach to the legs to carry the body
where it needs to go. The eyes and ears perceive the surroundings
of the body. The bladder stores the coffee that is ingested to
wake the body up in the morning. Some may not realize that as
important as all of those body parts are, a supported and sound
mind is just as important. Practicing mental health should be as
common as brushing teeth or taking a multivitamin.

The indisputably crucial need for

proper health and habits does not have
as limited of a scope as this, though. While
there is a widespread acceptance of striving
for proper physical health and hygiene, the vocal
pursuit of the need for mental health and hygiene
seems to be less common. Many people might wake up in
the morning and know that in order to prevent an acne breakout,
it is necessary to wash their face. Far fewer people might wake
up and know that in order to be happy and healthy, they should
practice loving themselves even before breakfast. Therein lies the

Therapist Sharon Martin states that to achieve good mental

health, there are a number of different things one can do, just as
there are a number of things (such as exercise and proper diet)
that can be done to achieve physical health. Some methods of
practicing mental health include, but are not limited to, treating
oneself with kindness, avoiding comparing oneself to others,
being truly present, celebrating success, asking for help when
needed and making fun a priority.
This is the diagnosis: society is suffering as a whole physically
and mentally. A strong prescription of continued practice of
healthy habits should be administered daily along with a
large dose of attention to developing mental health. Neither
is more important, and both work in tandem to create health
and happiness.

FOR FULL STORIES, GO TO www.theodysseyonline.com

Life Is Not A Race:

Move At Your Own Pace
Letgooftheabsurdexpectation
to align every detail of your life
perfectly.

VICTORIA KABERNAGEL
Victoria is a sophomore studying

I have always planned out my

dance/arts management/
life. I felt like in this fast paced
world it was necessary to do so.
hospitality and tourism
There seemed to be a natural
management. You may contact
sequence of steps guided by
her at fkabernagelte@g.cofc.edu.
our early academic life into our
college career, followed by a job
College Of Charleston
that I would hopefully land after
a successful senior internship
immediately following graduation. That is what I always envisioned when looking into the future.
I have started feeling trapped in a way.
I felt like one of those rides at a theme park where you get to drive a car, but really, you get to
steer a car under extreme restrictions. The car is allowed to veer only so far off on one side before
it hits a track in the middle that aligns it right back onto center. In other words, I felt like while I
had little lead way, I was never allowed to do anything drastic, like turn the car around completely
or make a 90-degree turn to the left. These restrictions were partially set on because of societal
expectations as well as expectations of myself.
A lot of kids in the U.S. today, like myself, are expected to continue on to college after high school graduation;
its just the way the world operates now. I do have strong feelings opposed to this because the academic world
is truly not for everyone, nor every job opportunity for that matter. There is only so much a college classroom
can teach you. Personally, I find the experiences outside of the classroom just as valuable in many cases. Of
course, I would not be exposed to specific volunteering or internship abroad opportunities if it were not for my

FOR FULL STORIES, GO TO www.theodysseyonline.com

college and major of choice, but that was my

personal experience. I am not regretting
my college decision or path by any
means. I absolutely have made the
right choice and have gained so
many incredible experiences.
However, I am trying to
not put so many shackles
on myself. It is important
to have long-term and
short-term goals in order
to assess your progress
and make sure you are
taking the necessary
steps in order to strive for
something you desire to
obtain. But, I am tired of
following my plan. I am
tired of lining everything
up so that it works out
perfectly, and I am talking
about as big as making sure
I find the perfect internship
(amongst hundreds of options)
that will line up to the perfect career,
to as small as making sure I plan out
my day perfectly by the minute.
Wake up. Life does not work that way. Life is not perfect!
I have put these crazy expectations on myself, and boy does it feel so liberating to take them off.
Do not get me wrong, I am still a Type-A, motivated, ambitious person who has a multitude of plans
for the future.However, I am removing the absurd expectation off of myself to align every detail out
to fit an exact itinerary. I have learned to have faith; faith in the idea that everything is meant to be
for a reason, and everything will happen at the time it is meant to.

IDEAS

The Struggle Of Having A Nervous Habit

Oh, you think its annoying
I pick at my skin? Try having
no control over doing it every
single day.

NICOLE LARUSSO

Nervous habits are one of

the most annoying things
Nicole is a freshman studying
a person will have to go
marketing. You may contact her
through in his or her life.
at nicolelaroose@Hotmail.com.
Nervous habits are extremely
distracting and almost
Catholic University of America
impossible to overcome.
Although most people dont
have a serious nervous habit, others (including myself) struggle with these habits on a daily
basis. No matter what your nervous habit may be, those around us may never fully understand
how hard it is to have to deal with a nervous habit during our daily routines.
Part of the problem with nervous habits is that the people performing the habits arent selfaware meaning they dont know theyre doing it unless someone directly tells them. The
less aware the person is, the more they will continue to do it. For example, for people who
subconsciously bite their nails, they can bite at almost their entire hand in a matter of minutes
and wont become aware of it until someone tells them.
With this, there also comes the struggle of being constantly yelled at for the nervous habit.
People will say, If you hate your habit so much then just stop doing it. Well, it isnt that
simple. We cant just tell ourselves to stop biting or to stop picking if it were that simple,
we would stop. Believe me, it is so extremely frustrating having to deal with a nervous habit
on a day to day basis. In no way can we just stop doing it. People with nervous habits
have similar tendencies that people with addictions have. Although this comparison can
be seen as extreme, the two concepts go hand in hand. I personally have a nervous habit of
picking at the skin on my fingers and I know that when Im not picking, Im thinking about

10

LIFESTYLE

picking, just like how when an addict isnt using, they are more
than likely thinking about using. At the same time, while Im
picking at my hands, it becomes nearly impossible to
make myself stop. Unless someone pulls my hands
or really yells at me, I wont have enough selfcontrol or willpower to stop picking. This is
also similar to the habits of an addict, for
they have a hard time making themselves
stop using in a particular moment unless
someone forces them to do so.

Nervous habits are also used as a way to cope

with stress. Some people may turn to outlets such
as music or the outdoors to relieve their stress,
but others use their nervous habit as a way to calm
themselves down. This can often be seen with high
school and college students. Rather than focusing on the lesson being taught or the questions
presented on an exam, students will begin the routine of their nervous habit as a way to take
their mind off of something they dont want to do. This can be extremely frustrating because
those with nervous habits dont necessarily want to do their habits during these times, but
cant control themselves.
So for all of you out there who get annoyed at your friends or family for their nervous habits,
put yourselves in our shoes. Nervous habits arent fun things to have and in no way, shape, or
form do we enjoy possessing these habits. By all means, continue to try to help those around
you quit their habits, but do so in a way that is understanding. It may take time to get someone
to stop, so dont expect it to happen all at once. I also have had my skin picking habit since
fourth grade and I am now a freshman in college and the habit has only gotten worse. The
most important thing to do is try to become more self-aware of the habit, that way you can
begin to find a way to cut down on the amount you perform it.
And if youre struggling with a nervous habit, dont be ashamed of it. Everyone has qualities
about themselves that they are self conscious about, but dont be ashamed. It is only a matter of
time until you quit the habit or lessen the amount you do it - and we all have to start somewhere!

FOR FULL STORIES, GO TO www.theodysseyonline.com

What Dyslexia

Means To Me
RACHEL WYLIE

Rachel is a freshman whose

major is currently undecided.
You may contact her at
rwylie@fandm.edu.
Franklin & Marshall
Im tired of having a stigma define my life.
A few weeks ago, I found myself scrolling through Facebook
as I normally do when trying to procrastinate. However, this
time, I noticed something rather odd. Dyslexia was trending
as number one on the popular social media platform. I found
myself immediately clicking on the word to see why a topic
like this could be getting so much attention. Alas, someone
had created a website that supposedly simulates what it is like
to have dyslexia. I hesitantly clicked on the link and became
engulfed with anger. All I wanted to do was scream.
You are probably wondering why I would have such a
strong reaction to something that was intended to help people

understand something that is so misunderstood and why you

should even be caring about what some random college girl
who you dont even know writing for Odyssey has to say
about this.
Well, for starters, I know from my own first-hand experience
what it is like to be dyslexic. I have such vivid memories of all
the days I would come home from school feeling frustrated,
angry, and confused as to why school was such a daunting
task and nearly so impossible. I remember hating the fact that
I was different and not understanding why. I have grown
up in a society where many people look down upon those
of us who learn differently and if you dont fall under this
notion of normal, you are considered less intelligent than
others. It baffles me how much of a problem this still is in
the 21st century.
When I was younger, I was taught that it was better to hide
my own identity rather than own it to not seem different from
my classmates. However, this proved to be nearly impossible
when I was growing up because of how our educational
system is and the fact that, in public school, everyone who
learns slightly differently is treated the same way. I was forced
into a remedial English class in second grade with all of the
other kids who were having difficulty learning how to read. We
were having difficulty not because we werent smart enough,
but simply because we learned differently than most other
second graders. However, we were all lumped together in this
remedial reading class where the teacher was so busy trying to
control the behavior of some of the children and teach to the
majority, who she concluded needed assistance with reading
comprehension, that she could not instruct those of us who
needed help with decoding.

FOR FULL STORIES, GO TO www.theodysseyonline.com

Being misunderstood is what continuously bothers me

to this day. Unfortunately, there is still a stigma attached to
learning differences and this is a major reason why so many
children struggle with their own self-esteem. And, for any of
you who believe there is no problem with the definition of
learning disabled, how come it wasnt a problem when my
fifth-grade science teacher actually defined it as a mental
disease and compared it to Alzheimers? Why wasnt it a
problem every time I was forced to read out loud and ended
up getting laughed at by my own classmates and being called
stupid and retarded? I find it incomprehensible that
we live in a society where it isnt mandatory to educate all
educators about the different ways students learn and need
to be taught so that all students can achieve their potential.
Dyslexia is not some disorder that makes you perceive
words and letters upside down. Rather, it has to do with
the phonological component of language and can directly
affect areas accurate and/or fluent word recognition and
by poor spelling and decoding abilities (International
Dyslexia Association). Nowhere is it defined as a lack
of intelligence and, in fact, there are many brilliant and
successful people who are dyslexic. The notion that dyslexia
makes you visually flip words around is inaccurate. Sure,
for some individuals with dyslexia it can feel as though
syllables of words are moving around even though this is
not the case. However, it is unrealistic to formulate some
simulated experience that connects to a feeling rather
than an actual experience, and only covers such a small
range of people with dyslexia. This is why I was so angry
when I clicked on the link to that website. It was further
disseminating myths and misinformation about dyslexia
rather than sharing accurate information.

IDEAS

11

Why Its Hard To Be In

Love And Have Anxiety
Dont let your anxiety define
you.
Being in love is supposed to
be this exciting, bubbly, lovey
dovey type of feeling, right? If
youre with the right person,
it can be. But when you deal
with an anxiety disorder, it can
be hard to feel this way. Youre
supposed to love and trust this
person because theyre your
other half. They love you and
would do anything for you.

SAVANNA COBB
Savanna is a junior studying
human services and criminal
justice. You may contact her at
scobb9077@ucumberlands.edu.
Cumberlands

But one day, they dont text you back for a while. For a normal person, this wouldnt be a big
deal. One might think, Hmm. Theyre probably busy. Theyll text me back when they want
to. Seems like a rational thought, right?
Thats not how someone with anxiety thinks. They think that theyve done something wrong.
They go back through messages to make sure that they didnt say something to make the other
person mad. Or maybe theyre with someone else? That has to be why theyre not texting back.
Should I double text? No, then Ill look needy. I cant run him off.
And then they text back. They were doing homework and didnt hear their phone. You dont
let them know that you were panicking. You play it off cool and breathe a sigh of relief that
theyre not mad at you.

Why I Have Survivors Guilt

The one and only conflict
of surviving cancer.
One of the worst feelings
ALLIE HAMILTON
I have ever felt, besides the
crippling anxiety I feel on a
daily basis, is survivors guilt.
Allie is a freshman studying
No one should feel guilty for
journalism. You may contact her
being alive. Why do I even feel
at amhamilton@westliberty.edu.
this way? Well, having cancer
at 15 and watching various
West Liberty
relatives and friends die from
the same disease I survived
hasnt left me in perfect mental health. I ask myself often when someone I know dies of
cancer, why them and not me? Why was I given a second chance to live a crappy life when
they had so much to aspire to? These thoughts of guilt always become more prominent when
I find out a friend I met at Childrens of Pittsburgh has relapsed or if someone has lost their
fight against the disease.

12

LIFESTYLE

This is something that I deal with

every day. My boyfriend is an amazing
person who treats me like a princess
on a daily basis. So honestly, theres
no reason for me to feel like this.
Thats where anxiety comes in.
You can be having the most
perfect day, and anxiety can
decide to rear its ugly head and
attempt to ruin everything.
But thats where the person
that youre with rides in like
a knight in shining armor and
makes everything better. I feel like
Im this massively dysfunctional
person when I have an episode
when my boyfriend and I are
together, but he does whatever he can
to calm me down and make me smile.
Being in love with someone doesnt
mean that they only love you on the good days. They love you through the tears, and panic
attacks because you dont want to talk to someone on the phone or go to class with someone
that you dont like, and they love you for you. Not your anxiety.
Anxiety is not something that you can just get rid of with medication, no matter how hard
you try. It doesnt just magically go away with a pill. Itll go away for a little bit, but youll still
have to face your triggers on a daily basis. Thats why it makes life so much easier when you
have someone by your side to face the bad days and the demons with you. They say that you
need to find someone that can be your boyfriend and your best friend at the same time, and
this is a perfect example of why.
Dont let your anxiety define you. Embrace it and take life head on.

My aunt just recently passed away. She had cancer for many years, going in and out of
remission multiple times. She gave me a wig of hers when I was sick and always told me I was
her hero. In reality, she was my hero. With how much she had gone through, she was one of
the strongest women I have ever met. I find myself asking why this strong, gracious woman
had to be taken from her grandkids before they can even fathom the idea of death when I have
no aspirations at all.
Why was I stuck with a cancer that had an 85 percent survival rate, while so many others
are given a death sentence before they can even attempt chemo? I cant really say why, not
even my doctor could. I did extensive research when I was sick and there were absolutely no
answers at all as to why these things happen. Lifes funny like that; it takes the good people
away and leaves the bad ones here to suffer.
I suffer from generalized anxiety disorder and due to cancer, it has worsened. It is very
common for survivors to experience this kind of feeling as they live in fear of relapse, and other
long-term complications due to cancer treatment. Personally, I live in fear of heart disease as
a side effect of the chemotherapy I received in the fall of 2012.
Unless you have lived with this, you wouldnt fully understand. It is a hard concept to grasp;
it is essentially the same feeling as being guilty for eating a donut when you are on a diet, but
much, much worse.

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A Letter To #AerieREAL From My Eating Disorder

SHARON FISCHER
Sharon is a freshman studying
nursing. You may contact her
at fisches@simmons.edu.
Simmons
The worst part is that I know youre right.
Dear Aerie,
I have a bone to pick with you regarding your #aerieREAL
campaign. The real you is sexy? Really? That completely
undermines my entire doctrine here. You see, I am an eating
disorder, and I have made it my lifes work to convince Sharon
Fischer that the real her is not sexy, that the ultimate in beauty is
being skinny, that her strong legs are gross, her face is ugly when
its not emaciated, and that a tummy is only crop-top worthy if
its basically concave.
You see, Aerie, you have launched a terribly successful
campaign that promotes exactly the opposite idea, and its
sort of harshing my mellow. Youre making my job really
hard. You have these models with thick thighs and round

bellies and they look gorgeous. Theyre even unretouched!

The #aerieREAL campaign is proof that every body type
-- big or little, curvy or straight, whatever you can imagine
-- is beautiful, and its doing a really great job convincing
Sharon that her muscular legs are the result of hard work
and years of dancing and running. Every time she sees one
of your ads on the train, she grows a little more confident,
a little more reassured that her body is beautiful.
My job used to be so easy. Sharon used to look in the
mirror and see Jabba the Hut. Three years ago, she was
down to eating 400 to 600 calories a day, purging if she ate
more, and weighing herself religiously and cursing herself
when that number inched above 108. I was winning,
hooray! It was great for me, at least, but Sharon was
miserable and very sick. Now, though? She eats cupcakes
because theyre delicious and salads because veggies are
good for her body. She exercises because it brings her joy
and peace, not to burn off her last meal.

Youre killing me, man. How will we, the eating

disorders of the world, ever find success if you keep
convincing our girls that their bodies are sexy no matter
what they look like?
The worst bit is that I know youre right.
Sincerely,
Sharons eating disorder

Aerie, I am losing this battle. I dont need your body

positivity shenanigans making this that much harder
for me, because heres the deal: your campaign works.
Showing girls rocking thunder thighs and bellies in
bikinis and sarongs makes it clear beyond a shadow of
a doubt that all bodies are beautiful. You are shutting
down the societal beauty standards that are the hallmark
of an entire industry and throwing away the idea that
skinny is beautiful.

I Was Admitted To
A Mental Institution,

And I Found Inner Peace

What I discovered through

trauma was more than I
couldve bargained for.

AMA GORA

They say the truth shall set you

free. So, here it is: a serious recap to
recall experiences I will never forget.
Ama is a junior studying dance.
Recently, I was admitted to a mental
institution for my depression. My
You may contact her at
first impression is that our mental
ama.ayanna@gmail.com.
health institutions need lots of
attention and work.Another
Georgian Court
was how did I end up
here, it feels like a dream.
I remember, it began with feeling sad, isolating dwelling and then a break. Id like to think of it as breaking
dams, explosive and sustained somehow.
Id been to places like this before. A place similar to where I visited my brother. On my
birthday, I was wheeled from one facility to another. The night before, I had waited six hours
for someone to give me two options: go home or come here. So I was here, in the loonie bin,
they called it. Meeting people I wont forget in a whole lifetime.
A homeless woman disabled and addicted to drugs. A man who watched his daughter
die in his arms. A woman with red hair, three bottom teeth, and eyes you got lost in. A girl
three days healed from an abortion and bruised by the hand of a lover, addicted to heroine.
A graphic designer for Nissan. A mother of three fully employed. Then there was me, a
college student.
Theyd call me scholar, mini dancer, brown eyed beauty. They told me I was going to be
something. I believed these strangers. When they rolled me into this facility21, young,
and lostI had not expected this. I stopped the two men rolling me in and begged them
for some sun. Reluctant at first but they nicely guided me to a sun patch saying happy
birthday. That sun was surreal as it hit my skin and this experience followed much the same.
Although a little traumatized by reality I found so much beauty in this place. Sleepless
nights and not knowing who would flip out first had me on edge. At any moment, chairs
could break through a window. A patient belligerent and irate, organized chaos. So here I
was, learning about all these beautiful people and being forced to adapt.
Sometimes you realize things after a period of trauma or adapting to a new environment. Reality
gets a little scary, but I got a heck of a lot of good from it. It is empowering and enriching because
I chose that path, so I walked righteously. I ended up learning more than I couldve bargained for.

FOR FULL STORIES, GO TO www.theodysseyonline.com

LIFESTYLE

13

Loving Yourself

Isnt As Easy
As It Sounds
ELIZABETH MILLER
Elizabeth is a jsophomore
studying communication. You
may contact her at millerea18@
mounties.mansfield.edu.
Mansfield
But its worth a shot.
Dear You,
Yes, you. I know youre having a bad day or a bad week
or a bad year, but dont worry, its OK. I know youre feeling
selfish right now for thinking about yourself. I know its
hard to balance your job and your life and your family and
still feel good about yourself, but thats OK and youre not
alone. Its difficult to learn how to love yourself, but here
are some things to remember.

14

LIFESTYLE

You are so strong. You got out of bed today, and that takes
guts. You told yourself to get up and face the world and
all its challenges. You could have chosen to shield yourself
in the comfort of your own self-doubt, but you didnt. Go
you! Its a powerful thing to be mentally strong, and it takes
much more training than being physically strong. Half of the
time you dont even know that you are training yourself to
be mentally strong, but it just sort of happens. You stood up
to your boss today, thats mental strength training. You told
yourself no to buying just one more pair of shoes, thats
mental strength training. You told yourself that you feel
awesome today and thats more mental strength training.
If you become mentally strong, that confidence can wear
off onto those around you.

awesome you did after graduation. You have become a

fresh mold, and now you get to create something new. You
can keep the parts of the old you that you liked, but that
doesnt mean you cant leave (as much as you want) space
for improvement.

You are capable of being on your own. While relationships

can be great, it can also be really great to be independent. I
mean, think about it. Thats only one set of dishes to wash,
you can watch whatever you want, getting the entire blanket
to yourself, and the list of perks goes on and on. On a serious
note, though, being alone could actually help improve the
way you feel about yourself. Even though it is nice to have
a little help, nothing feels better than paying a bill on your
own with the money that you earned yourself, and having
that alone time at the end of the day could help either make
or break you. Plus, a sense of independence helps boost
confidence, which equals a love for yourself in knowing
that you can do anything or be anyone.

Lastly, even though you are, being beautiful isnt the

most important thing about you. You are going to have
days where you look in the mirror and think, Wow! I look
awesome today! and there are other days where you will
look in the mirror and regret even putting a mirror in your
home. The thing is, though, you are beautiful every day.
Contrary to the medias belief, you are not defined by a
shoe, shirt, pant or sock size. You are not defined by skin
color, first language or place of origin. You are not defined
by where you live or who you love but rather by how much
you love yourself and how you show it. When you show the
world that you are confident in the way you see yourself,
you are truly beautiful.

You are not who you used to be. High school might have
been rough, but graduation gave you a clean slate. You are
no longer a loser or a nobody. Now is your chance to
become somebody. Now is your chance to create the new
you that can tell everyone at the class reunion everything

Remember this: You are not selfish for loving yourself.

Its OK to walk away. Part of learning to love yourself

is learning to rid your life of those who make it harder to
do so. This can be difficult because some of those people
mean a lot to you, but its a big part in the process. The good
part about walking away from those people is that the ones
that truly care about you will accept the fact that you are
changing to become a better you and are willing to step
away and maybe even eventually come back.

Sincerely,
One recovering heart to another.

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Why Im Not Ashamed Of Receiving Treatment

For My Mental Illness And You Shouldnt Be Either
MASEY WHITE
Masey is a freshman studying
English. You may contact her
at maseyann@icloud.com.
Sam Houston
I knew that I simply could not keep living the way I was, nor should
I have to. I knew that I could not help myself.
During the summer, between my seventh and eighth-grade years, my parents
moved us from Texas to Alabama. While this should have been like any of the
other 10 or so moves, I was getting older and this move was harder. When we
got to Alabama, I was sad all the time; I stopped eating, and I began to harm
myself. Two years later, we moved to Texas again, and the feelings worsened. I
began to feel incredibly depressed every day. I couldnt get out of bed. I couldnt
eat. All I could do was sleep. I was so sad, I nearly didnt feel anything. Most
people experience some type of sadness in their lives, but this was more than just
a sadness. This was an overwhelming darkness and at 15, I had no idea how to
cope with it. I felt hopeless and there seemed to be no end in sight.
I hit rock bottom during spring break of my sophomore year. During this
time, I decided that I needed help. My parents checked me into a psychiatric
hospital. There, I received counseling, was taught healthy coping mechanisms,
and was put on medication that was adjusted and regulated during my time

there. I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety

disorder, and obsessive compulsive disorder. Under their care, I was able to
receive help. While I wasnt instantly cured and felt happy when I walked out
of those doors, it was a start. I was able to feel better to the point where I could
begin to take some action to get better.
Even though this made such a big difference in my life, I have only told a
handful of people about my time in the psychiatric hospital. It is something
that I have been ashamed of. I felt like I was weak and I would be judged and
considered insane. I was afraid of the reactions of people around me. But how
unfair is this?
Cancer patients openly go through chemotherapy.
People with muscle or bone issues go to physical therapy without
keeping it a secret.
When you have the flu, you dont have to feel ashamed to go to the doctor
and get medication to make you feel better.
So, why do I have to feel ashamed for going to a trained psychiatrist who
can prescribe me medication that will help me feel somewhat normal, teach
me how to cope with what Im feeling, and be able to properly function with
less difficulty?
About 14.5 million people suffered from cancer in the United States in the
year 2014.
Approximately 43.8 million adults suffer from a mental illness in any given
year in the U.S.
Additionally, 1 in 25 Americans have a mental illness that prohibits them
from living their lives.

Why Hitting Rock Bottom

Was The Best Thing For Me
EMILY ZUREK
Emily is a senior studying
neuroscience. You may contact
her at Emilyzurek@kings.edu.
Kings College
Not hitting it at all would have been nice, but that doesnt
mean you cant then rise.
2014.
Every morning I would wake up.
And I would cry.
As a healthy 21-year-old, Im not sure what I expected to occur in
my sleep, but I was angry to be alive another day.
School was letter Q on my alphabetical list of priorities. A week
had gone by before I realized I never submitted an online exam for
a history course I was taking. I probably would have remembered
sooner had I been showing up to the lectures.
Was this an unconscious slip because I stopped caring about
everything? Or was I intentionally trying to achieve failure in all aspects
of my life so that it would be easier to kill myself? Probably both.
To be clear, I was never this kind of student. I was an
undergraduate physician assistant major with an anything below

98 is failure kind of attitude

before I hit rock bottom.

I had incredible support. People

pulled out every trick in their hats
to try to make me feel better, even if
just for one day. Alas, there was no rabbit that could cure me. I would think,
For the love of God, Emily, smile. Do this for them. They are trying so
hard. Stop being so selfish. Yet, no expression could be found on my face.
On Mar. 9, 2014, I decided I would not burden these people any longer,
and I tried to kill myself.
As I am writing this, I did not die. I did, however, hear voices,
see things that werent there and experienced the most painful
stomachache of my life. During the night, it got so bad that I wanted
to call someone and confess what I had done, but the pain was so
unbearable I could not move from a fetal position to grab my phone
(unless I was running to the bathroom to vomit).
Writing about my attempt never seemed beneficial to me. I know
if I had read an attempt about another person while I was suicidal,
I would have romanticized the event. Looking back, my hope is
anyone who reads this will be strongly deterred.
When I woke up the next morning (still sick), I knew that, one, I
sure as hell not going to try anything like that again and, two, I needed
to get help.
I didnt realize that help would include staying in a psychiatric hospital
for a week. I didnt realize that would include many of the faculty from
school advising me to withdraw from the rest of the semester. I didnt
realize that would include my boyfriend at the time telling me, I cant
be known as the kid dating the suicide attempter (That one still hurts).
And I didnt realize that would include the friends I had been living with
suggesting I stay with family because I was not getting better with their
help. I was seemingly getting worse.
At this point, I had done exactly what I was trying to do, fail in every
aspect of life so that I would have no reason to keep going. But, at rock
bottom, I was still here, and this unexpected feeling came over me. I
wanted to climb back up.

FOR FULL STORIES, GO TO www.theodysseyonline.com

However, of these 43+ million people only 41 percent of them had the
courage to receive medical attention for their mental health issues.
Cancer is nationally publicized. We have walk-a-thons, sell pink ribbons,
and raise awareness of prostate cancer. Heck, I even have a sticker on my car
that says, Feel your boobies! in support of breast cancer awareness. While
I will support this and dont believe cancer should receive any less support, I
do believe that mental illnesses deserve just as much. People suffering from a
mental illness should be able to feel just as comfortable with seeking treatment
as someone with any other illness.
There are tons of people who cant leave their house without touching
their doorknob exactly 17 times. These are our friends, our siblings, our coworkers, our family. And that number doesnt include 14-year-old me, who
couldnt go to school because of her illness, or the countless other teens feeling
the same way.
There are others that feel the same way you do. You do not have to fight this
battle alone. If you have a sickness, you arent expected to suffer from it and
hope it goes away on its own. Likewise, you are not expected to suffer from
your mental illness on your own. There are people who have spent many years
in school and training simply to help you. Dont let the fear of what people
may think of you keep you from being happy and more comfortable. This
is your life, not theirs, and the help that you can receive can change your life.
I am not ashamed that I had to receive help. I knew that I simply could not
keep living the way I was, nor should I have to. I knew that I could not help
myself. I knew that, despite the stigma and judgment I might receive, it was
necessary. So, please, do not ever feel like you cannot ask for help. Do not ever
feel like you cannot receive the medication or counseling you need because
you will be judged. Do not feel like you are weak. You are so strong for the
fight you have put up, and you are even stronger to have the courage to help
yourself. And please, do not ever, ever, ever feel like you are alone. Because I,
as well as the 43 plus million other people in the world that suffer the same
way you do, am there for you. You are not alone, nor will you ever be. Get the
help you need. Dont be ashamed.

My depression became ambition. Everyones decision to fold their

cards allowed me to scoop up all of the chips in the middle. Validation
from others on how to keep on going was no longer necessary. I now
had all I needed in my hands. Little-by-little, I began to utilize this newfound power.
I started exercising outside to combat my low energy (and to get
excited about spring). In doing so, I discovered the beauty of sunsets. For
me, they are the most beautiful prize our souls are given after enduring
a long day.
Admittedly, it was the worst semester for my GPA. I let myself tank
almost every class, but I refused to withdraw. School was something I
had complete control over and results were measurable of the work I put
in. I had to deal with Cs for the first time in my life, but it taught me the
world keeps on spinning.
Those friends I had once lived with are still my friends. I love them and
know they are proud of my progress.
The boyfriend is an ex-boyfriend. While what he said is one of the
most hurtful things Ive ever been told, I do not hold on to any anger. My
revenge has simply been the reminder to keep getting better, for myself.
And, also, writing this to show that I do not care what people may
think of me.
2016.
The two-year mark had just passed. Last year, I made new March
memories by going to California with my best friend for spring break. It
was the best experience of my life, and I would have never experienced that
had I succeeded in killing myself.This year, I spent the day outside, alone,
hiking in a rare sunny-and-75 kind of day in Northeast Pennsylvania.
Looking back, I often say that I would do anything to spare the
exhaustion I put so many through. Yet, I do not fully regret having
been in that dark place because it forced me to build my own fire.
That same fire still burns inside me and drives me towards a better
and brighter future. Sure, the light flickers now and then, but climbing
up from rock bottom has allowed me to obtain all the right tools to
refuel it.

LIFESTYLE

15