Carly Kovach

Professor: Adam Padgett

English 102
September 13th, 2016

Criminal Justice
Context: My topic of interest resides within the boundaries of the Criminal Justice
System. For starters, I have always been intrigued by what truly goes on during an intense court
case, mainly from the Judges prospective,(;) however, the lawyers who represent the criminals
also grab my attention as well. When I was in high school I had the opportunity to take a trip
through the Virginia Beach, Virginia Court House (might sound better if you say Virginia
Beach Court House). I was allowed to sit in on any court case taking place that day, and also
talked to a few of the inmates who were willing to share their stores. Of course these stories were
not about doing time for murders, rather, more realistic events that could happen to us if we were
to go down the wrong path in life. For example, one of the men we listened to speak told us how
he was doing time for three DUIs. He told us how, just like us, he was an innocent kid,
graduated from high school, enrolled in college, and trying to find a financially stable job for
after graduation, when one summer changed his life for the absolute worse. He told us how one

Comment [KM1]: This is a really long sentence and it

makes it hard to focus on the point of the sentence.

bad decision led to many after, and before he knew it there was no way to fix the damage he had
created. I know that sometimes people go through really rough times in their lives only to reap
from their sorrows in the years to come, but I couldnt stop thinking about his situation after his
talk. I wanted to feel sorry for him, but I know that DUIs are not something that accidentally
happen to people. Driving under the influence is a choice he decided to make, and with that
comes necessary consequences. After listening to inmates (no apostrophe in inmates), we were
taken into an example of what one of the cell bunks looked like that the inmates were required to

Comment [KM2]: Maybe use a different word than

reap? It just sounds weird in this context.

live in. We then received a tour of the underground jail that held the criminals who were
undergoing trials before getting their definite sentence. To the average person, that might not
have been something they would have liked to have participated in, but to me, that was one of

Comment [KM3]: Reword this part of the sentence,

maybe change that to this

the most interesting things I have ever gotten to do. It really allowed me to break out of my
comfort zone and see what life is like as either a judge or an attorney. That was the day I decided
when I went to college I would minor in criminal justice! Having given (I would omit the word

Comment [KM4]: This seems like you should put this

sentence in a different part, just because most of the
information before this sentence is describing criminal life?
(Maybe put it earlier in the paper?)

given) that experience, the specific area of the Criminal Justice System that I want to research
more in depth has to do with the number of different reasons people today are becoming
incarcerated. (This is a really good transition) It seems as if more states are legalizing marijuana
nowadays, and I wonder, if the incarceration rates would decrease if all 50 states were to legalize
it. This is not to say that I am trying to convince my audience that I think marijuana should be
legalized. This paper is strictly about the criminal justice aspect, with incarcerations due to
marijuana being used as evidence. This topic seems as if it would not be worthy of an entire
research paper being written about it. (New paragraph here and omit however?) However, one

Comment [KM5]: I dont know if you should stay away

from this because we are not supposed to be writing about
marijuana? But I totally agree with the point you are
making. Maybe just talk about how states are (in general)
becoming more lenient on drugs?

Comment [KM6]: I might omit this sentence just

because it makes your arguments seem less important

article I found talks about how the states whose prisons house the majority of convicts are more
willing to rethink the drug laws and become more lenient. The leniency comes from the fact that
more people are beginning to believe in finding help and treatment for low-level drug offenders
rather than forcing them to do time with people who have committed much more serious crimes.
This is not to say that if someone started using hard core (hard-core) drugs such as heroine on a
regular basis they should not be penalized. That situation is completely different because the
person using and/or dealing is putting their self and others (omit lives?) lives in danger. I feel
like since the article focuses on low level drugs, marijuana is definitely the first drug that comes
to mind that fits under that category. (After this sentence I would explain more why you think

Comment [KM7]: Omit this just to make you sound

more credible?

this) The author of this article, Drew Desilver does not seem to out-right give his opinion,
however, you can tell that he supports the rethinking of drug laws due to the bias (confused as to
how it is bias? Maybe explain?) evidence used as support. (new paragraph?) Another article
found that indirectly relates to my research topic talks about how more people are starting to
believe that drug offenders need to be given help for their addictions rather than jail time. With

Comment [KM8]: I like this!!

regards to low-level crime drugs such as marijuana, the article states, As a growing number of

Comment [KM9]: Maybe pick another one as an

example to keep referring to just so you do not seem biased
towards marijuana (like college kids using eachothers
vyvanse or something like that?)

states ease penalties for drug possession, the public expresses increasingly positive views of the
move away from mandatory sentences for non-violent drug crimes. Less (maybe use the word
shorter instead?) sentences for drug cases including marijuana will have a positive affect on the
incarceration rate, and over time we will begin to see a decrease in the amount of prosecutions. I
dont think that this article or the one previously mentioned have any intention of forcing their
readers to agree on a certain thought. Rather, these articles are simply stating information about
the government and war on drugs, and how eventually laws may very well be changed and
certain drugs legalized. I think that these articles serve the purpose of getting people to read more
about the topic and generate their own idea of what they believe and why they choose to believe

Comment [KM10]: This is really good to have here

because it makes it all seem more factual instead of
opinions

what they do. (new paragraph?) The third article I found argues that our country is incarcerating
too many people with too long of a sentence. The article goes on to talk about how in the past
year President Obama and (add the word the?) Attorney General Eric Holder have generated
plans to reduce mass incarcerations and fix the Criminal Justice System as a whole. The article
bases most of their information about United States Citizens being ready to renegotiate the War
on Drugs from a new Pew Poll from Pew Research, which is where the other two articles were
located.

Comment [KM11]: So are all your articles supporting

the same thing? Or do you have ones with opposing
viewpoints?

Inquiry: My inquiry questions stem away from marijuana and focus more on the criminal justice

Comment [KM12]: I would omit this and say My

inquiry questions focus more

system as a whole. The first question I have is, What other aspects other than drug use would
affect the lowering of the incarceration rate? Rather than just saying marijuana should be
legalized, I feel like other areas of interest can affect it as well. For instance, if more people were

Comment [KM13]: Really good how you immediately

start to give examples supporting this claim

intensely educated on the dangers and effects of drunk driving, the incarceration rate could
decrease due to the fewer amount of DUIs that (would) occur. A second question I have is, To
what degree will drug offenders be exempt from jail time and sent to rehabilitation centers? I
completely understand that people with drug problems need to focus on receiving help to become
sober, however, if these drug offenders are experiencing with hard core drugs which (can) lead

Comment [KM14]: Experimenting?

them to receive a DWI or (violation instead of anything) anything of the sort, I do believe
they should receive some jail time. The third question I have is, Would it help the incarceration

Comment [KM15]: You could say lastly instead to

make it flow better?

rate not only to decrease, but remain a smaller number for good if there were stricter rules
regulated that focused on making sure people do not resort back to their own ways once their
treatment is finished? This has to do with the fact that many hard core drug offenders are smart
enough to manipulate their way around receiving help, and once they are released see no issue

Comment [KM16]: hard-core, also you might need to

(earlier in the paper) explain what you differentiate as hard-
core and not hard-core drugs

with going back to their old habits. This issue is something that directly needs to be addressed.
Next Steps: I do think my research questions are in fact researchable because I feel like there are
many people with educated opinions on these topics and helpful ideas that are on their way to
being discovered. I certainly have my own opinion when it comes to these research questions and
I know I will be able to indirectly voice it through my evidence. I specifically like this topic for a
research paper because it forces you to think outside of just seeing this as a vote for the
legalization of a drug to fix our problems. Researching this will allow me to understand both
sides of the argument, whether you believe in giving offenders help rather than jail time, or you

Comment [KM17]: omit?

Comment [KM18]: Omit?

firmly believe that people should pay for their wrong-doings. I would love to find information
from different point of views, including judges, police officers, attorneys, and rehabilitation
specialists. I really do think this research paper will help educate me more on the Criminal

Comment [KM19]: This is really good to mention.

Justice System as a whole, something I am looking forward to the most, while also finding out
more on what directly affects the incarceration rate in the United States.
This is an awesome topic. In the beginning I think you need to go into more detail about like
what job exactly you plan on doing if you think that will help the readers understand more why
you are interested in this? I would definitely pick another drug to use along with your marijuana
references just so you seem less focused on marijuana and more on gateway drugs in general.
Also, I would make sure to make it more obvious which question is your most important / main
one. Also, I do not know about the rules with Works Cited page at the end, but definitely
better to have it and be safe, than to not have it.

Comment [KM20]: Rates*?