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Hi Jack,

Excellent work on your letter! Here are some quick things:

Glows:
Youve clearly spent a lot of time working on your voice and tone while writing. You come off as deadpan and dry, but thats good for a
reader when they need a good laugh.
Excellent use of your sources. You have three really solid sources that you utilize to fit your argument well.
Grows:
Although all of the information was interesting, you may have overworked yourself. The letter only need to be 2-3 pages double
spaced, and you maxed out at 3 single. Although all true and relevant information is good information, it might have been easier on
you to cut some of the info that you might have used later or didnt need. For instance, in your first paragraph, you explain the three
main points that you go on to explain in your body paragraphs. This might get slightly redundant for the reader, causing them to lose
interest.
Overall, excellent work here, Jack. Good effort. DSA is going to be a perfect fit for you.

Persuasive Letter Rubric


Introduction
Points: 20
Earned: 18

Advanced

Proficient

Developing

Emerging

Your introduction
paragraph includes a
strong thesis statement
that includes claim and
evidence.

Your introduction
paragraph includes a
thesis statement that
includes claim and some
evidence.

Your introduction
paragraph includes a
thesis statement that
includes claim or evidence.

Your introduction
paragraph does not include
a thesis statement.

Your claim is strong,


based on an opinion, and
identifies the issue.
You have a strong hook
that engages the reader

Your claim is based on


opinion and mostly
identifies the issue.
You have a hook that
attempts to engage the

Your claim is loosely based


on opinion and makes the
issue unclear.
You have a hook, but it
does not engage your
reader nor is it relevant to

Your claim makes it


unclear what youre trying
to persuade your audience
to do.
No hook is presented.

and points them in the


direction of what your
argument will be.

reader and point them in


the direction of what your
argument will be.

the argument.

Comments

You only lost points here because the hook, although good, could have been better. How can you direct your
reader to the topic immediately? What if the reader came up with a different answer than the school system?

Reasons/Sup
port

You have three excellent


reasons stated with
strong support. (Strong
textual evidence.)

Points: 20
Earned: `18

Shows evidence that


time and effort was put
into the research.
Presents a well
developed counterclaim
that speaks to the
opposing sides
argument. A rebuttal is
included with textual
evidence.

You have at least two


reasons with support.
(Textual evidence.)
Shows evidence that some
time and effort was put into
research.
Presents a counterclaim
that somewhat speaks to
the opposing sides
argument. A rebuttal is
included.

Your have one or two


reasons with some
support. (Some textual
evidence.)

You have one or no


reasons with barely any
support. (No textual
evidence.)

It is clear that not a lot of


time was spent on
research.

No research was done.


Does not present a
counterclaim.

Somewhat presents a
counterclaim that does not
speak to the opposing
sides argument. No
rebuttal is included.

Comments

There was a counterargument there, however, you want to make sure that youre designating a large chunk of
your letter to that counterargument. In doing so, youre offering legitimacy to your readers opinion and stance.

Audience

Your argument
demonstrates a clear
understanding of the
audience.

Your argument
demonstrates a good
understanding of the
audience.

Your argument
demonstrates a minor
understanding of the
audience.

Your argument
demonstrates you have no
understanding of the
audience.

You use logos, ethos,


and pathos to strengthen
your argument.

You use logos, ethos, and


pathos.

You use one or two of the


three rhetorical appeals
(logos, ethos, pathos).

You use one or none of the


three rhetorical appeals
(logos, ethos, pathos).

Points: 30
Earned: 26

Your conclusion includes a

Your conclusion includes


a call-to-action that also
restates the letters
thesis.

call-to-action. The
conclusion also restates
your letters thesis.

Your conclusion does not


include a call-to-action, but
does restate your letters
thesis.

Your conclusion does not


include a call to action nor
does it restate your thesis.

Comments

You have a solid argument, but I wasnt clear on who specifically your audience was. Remember that this is a
letter to a specific group of people. Who do you most need to target in order to appeal to them and switch them
over to your side? How can you do that?

Sources

You have three strong


sources that you use to
support your argument.

You have two or more


sources that you use to
support your argument.

You have one or two


sources that may not fully
support your argument.

Earned: 18

Your work cited page is


free of errors.

Your work cited page may


have a few errors.

Your work cited page has


many errors.

Comments

You kind of did extra work by putting in endnotes for your annotations. All you need for MLA format (youll probably
only encounter a different style of citation when you get to college) is the name of the author and the page number
on which that information can be found.

Grammar,
Mechanics,
and Spelling

There are no errors in


grammar, mechanics, or
spelling.

Points: 20

Points: 10
Earned: 10
Comments
My score: 90/100

There are few errors in


grammar, mechanics,
and/or spelling, but they do
not interfere with the
audiences understanding
of the text.

There are several errors in


grammar, mechanics,
and/or spelling.

You did not use sources.


You do not have a work
cited page.

There are numerous errors


in grammar, mechanics,
and/or spelling.