Cory Vu

English 0492
Professor Eisner
11-23-16
Where is the Love?
There are many different crimes and issues around the United States of America, some issues
interests me, but the issue that grabs my attention is police brutality[NE1] . The issue police
brutality did not affect me while growing up, but lately on social media like facebook and
twitter[NE2] , I see videos and post about police using brutal such as punching, kicking, and even
shooting at civilians. After watching those videos, I realized my family and I are not affected by
police brutality, but it is important to me to investigate the issues to try to understand why police
officers used unnecessary force on civilians. This unnecessary force is one of the biggest
felonies today that is affecting the community all around the United States. Police brutality is
ruining peoples lives and causing racial profiling, but some people think that police are not
doing anything wrong.
To start with, this unnecessary force is commonly known as police brutality. The word police
brutality has multiply[NE3] meaning but [NE4] the main reason is police officers use excessive force
when dealing with civilians. Police officers have been using excessive force on civilians since
the late 1970s (Obeydah). Since the 1970s, police brutality has increased across the United
States, which shows how police ruins ones life.[NE5]
Secondly these numbers show that police brutality has been ruining people families and lives.
[NE6]

In the article Police violence hurts Black families, the author writes that Esaw Garner

husband was killed by a police officer who was using force such as a chokehold on Eric Garner.
A bystander saw this and recorded the attack. In the video where a civilian capture the moment a

Cory Vu
English 0492
Professor Eisner
11-23-16
police officer put Eric Garner into a chokehold, Eric Garner told the police officer that he can not
breathe. While Eric was being choked by a police officer, he had a seizure which later on
conclude his death. Garners death devastated his wife. During a press conference, a reporter
asked Esaw Garner if she could ever forgive the police officer who killed her husband but she
said to him Hes still feeding his kids, when my husband is six feet under, and Im looking for a
way to feed my kids now, it shows that now her family is depending on her to keep her family
alive (Farber). Police brutality ruins peoples lives by taking away the important family members
or love ones in peoples lives.
Thirdly the term racial profiling mean using one race or ethnicity to determine if that person have
committed a crime. Another term that shows racial profiling is driving while black, meaning a
police officer pulls over an African-American driving a car under the perspective of the driver
doing a crime. The term driving while black is not right for police officers to pull any AfricanAmerican over just because of the person's race, ethnicity, or even just pulling them over just
because police officer think theyre doing a crime. Being pulled over for being African-American
is not fair to be pulled over because the police think theyre doing something illegal. Since police
officers pull over African-American, in 2012, about 313 African-American were killed due to
racial profiling in the United States (Chavez). Another example that shows racial profiling is in
Arizona, there is a law that about illegal immigrants where police officer can pull over Mexicans
if the officer think they are an illegal immigrant(Chavez). The law in Arizona destroys ones
freedom and privacy they have in the United States of America. Before police officers check

Cory Vu
English 0492
Professor Eisner
11-23-16
civilians for being an illegal immigrants, police officer should have evidence that show people
are illegal immigrant so that they are not just wasting peoples time or hurting someones
freedom. Racial profiling ruins peoples live by judging people based on their race and ethnicity.
In the end, police brutality has ruined peoples lives by so many different ways. Some of the
ways police brutality ruined peoples lives are by using unnecessary force on civilians and
causing racial profiling. Police officers used unnecessary force on civilians to deal with the
problem, but racial profiling is a lot different. How racial profiling is different because police
officers judge civilians based on their race and ethnicity. Due to the fact that racial profiling is
when judging on ones race and ethnicity, it is not right for the police officers to ruin someone for
being racist. This is why police brutality ruins peoples lives and why racial profiling is a big
problem.
Cory,
I see that you are working on using the old/new strategy in your
paragraphs, but I dont see very strong transitions between
paragraphs (To start, secondly, thirdly, in the end).
Your introduction probably would have been stronger without the
first sentence, which doesnt grab the readers attention and help
him understand your topic. Your conclusion is just a repetition of
your three main paragraphs, and does not leave the reader with
anything new to think about.
Your Works Cited page and in-text citations are formatted correctly;
watch out for copying and pasting I demonstrated in class how to
correct this.
Grade: B-

Cory Vu
English 0492
Professor Eisner
11-23-16

Work Cited

Boyd, Herb. "History of Police Brutality in New York Part 8." New York Amsterdam News 11
May 2000: 4. Academic Search Complete. Web. 22 Nov. 2016.
Chavez, Obeydah. "Police Brutality: Excessive Force and Racial Profiling Guardian Liberty
Voice." Guardian Liberty Voice. Guardian Liberty Voice, 27 Oct. 2016. Web. 22 Nov. 2016.
Farber, Michelle. "Police Violence Hurts Black Families." SocialistWorker.org. The International
Socialist Organization, 24 Nov. 1970. Web. 22 Nov. 2016.[NE7]

[NE1]This

is still not a catchy, engaging introduction like we discussed in class.

[NE2]Facebook and Twitter
[NE3]Multiple you had it correct in your draft
[NE4]Meanings, but
Again, this was correct in your draft
[NE5]This paragraph does not show how it is ruining lives; it just shows how long it has existed.
[NE6]This repeats the above sentence without adding new information.

Cory Vu
English 0492
Professor Eisner
11-23-16
[NE7]In

class I explained how to delete the highlighting when you copy and paste the citations