Vega Lomeli1

Daniel Vega Lomeli

English 115
Professor Beadle
October 2, 2016

Essay 1

What gender was chosen for you? You did not choose your gender of your own will since
the minute you were born your gender was decided for you by your parents and society. When
your parents learned your sex, you where immediately put into a gender category and where
made to follow the gender stereotypes of your society. You decide what you wear, what you play
with, what you watch, and who you play with almost every aspect of what you do is controlled
by your parents. So how exactly did you choose what you like ? Your Gender was created by
society and its stereotypes and greatly influenced by your parents whether they tried to or not.
Judith Lorber and Emily W. Kane write about these gender stereotypes in the book Composing
Gender. Both write about this because of how relevant it is in our society. Everyone goes through
the process of figuring out their gender and facing society's stereotypes, I have my own
experiences with it especially because of my Hispanic heritage.
Judith Lorber in her article "Night to His Day" addressees these gender stereotypes with
an example of her subconsciously using gender stereotypes during a normal day in her life while
riding the bus. Lorber says Today, on the subway, I saw a well-dressed man with a year-old
child in a stroller. Yesterday, on the bus , I saw a man with a tiny baby in a carrier on his chest.
seeing men taking care of small children in public is increasingly common- at least in New York
City. But both men were quite obviously stared at- and smiled at, approvingly . Everyone was
doing gender" Lorber(2) this shows that when a man is in charge of child care which is usually

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seen as a females job society takes notice, Lorber states that this is becoming common which
means that the gender stereotype that only a women can take care of a child, changing so that
childcare is now acceptable for both genders. Even Lorber uses gender stereotypes to figure out a
baby's sex. She gives an example that happened the same day she saw the father on the subway,"
The child in the stroller was wearing a dark blue T-shirt and dark print pants. As they started to
leave the train, the father put a Yankee baseball cap on the child's head. Ah, a boy, I thought.
Then I noticed the gleam of tiny earrings in the child's ears, and as they got off, I saw the little
flowered sneakers and lace- trimmed socks. not a boy after all. Gender done"Lorber(2) this
shows that even Lorber who is an author who writes about gender stereotypes and the norms
society creates, subconsciously still abides by the "rules". These examples reiterate the fact that
society creates gender stereotypes and children and are subjected to following the stereotypes
because their parents dress them in gender specific clothing that is approved by society.
Emily W. Kane writes in her article "No Way My Boys Are Going to Be Like That" about
gender stereotypes that are enforced by parents and parents that do not enforce gender rules.
Kane also includes data from interviews she conducted with 44 parents of different sexual
orientations and of financial status. These parents where asked about what toys their sons are
allowed to play with and what would their response be if their son wanted a toy or participate in
a activity that is seen as an activity for girls. Of course a wide range of responses were given.
Some parents expressed the fact they try to raise their child in a gender neutral environment and
let them decide what they like, and of course on the opposite side of the spectrum, some parents
said their boys will be raised to be men. This interview concluded that society is in a transition
period between the old gender stereotypes and a society where the new norm is to let kids decide
what they like. This is concluded based on the responses given, that some where almost complete

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opposite of each other. " a white, low-income, heterosexual mother who said, regarding her
three-year-old, "He had been curious about dolls and I just said, you know usually girls play with
dolls, but it's okay for you to do it to" Kane(3) and a white, low-income, heterosexual mother
said" He's asked about wearing girl clothes before, and I said no" Kane(7) this shows the
transition that has happened in society. Some parents do not follow the old gender norms and
now have set up new gender rules. Vise versa some parents still follow the old Gender
stereotypes and pass them on to their children.
Kane and Lorber have a central idea that society creates gender and parents are big
influencers of children that follow their examples which are the gender stereotypes created by
society. Both articles had examples of parents that bought their children toys or clothes that
where gender specific. Parents doing that instills gender stereotypes into children because from
that point on children will associate their gender with that specific stereotype. The children will
then grow and recreate the very same gender stereotypes they learned. This supports the common
idea between the two articles that gender is constructed by society. If society did not have gender
norms and stereotypes there would be no need for gender it would only be one human race. This
is not possible because humans have a subconscious need to classify and categorize.
Both of my parents are Hispanic and born in Mexico. My mother came to the U.S when
she was only three months old. My father came when he was seventeen. Both come from
cultures that gender children extremely. Most Mexican men have the same views. Boys do the
manual labor, heavy lifting, or anything dirty. Girls do only delicate things, cooking, cleaning,
childcare, and most things in the home. One specific point of view most Mexican fathers have
is, earrings are for girls and if a boys has them he is gay. My father is no exception, so when
asked to get my ears pierced he wanted to hear none of it. My mother grew up in LA so she

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understood more and it did not take long to convince her. My father on the other hand took six
months to convince. During that time, he said things along the lines of "are you a girl?", "only
girls wear earrings", and "are you gay?" it got even worse in the months right after I got my ears
pierced. I remember once he introduced me to someone as his daughter. He said this jokingly but
it does not change the fact he said it. To me wearing earrings is not a big deal, but to my father it
was as I was disrespecting him. His point of view is because of his Mexican heritage and the
gender norms he knows.
Gender is created by society and has no biological roots. Gender has no biological roots
because if it did then every man and women would act in the exact same way in every single
place in the world. Men in Japan do not act the same as men in Chicago, Women in a small town
in Minnesota do not act the same way women in North Korea do. Every society is different and
have their own Gender norms and stereotypes. Parents are the greatest influence on children and
are the reason most gender stereotypes stay relevant. A mother and father recreate the gender
norms that they learned from their parents. Then the Gender norms will be recreated again by
their children. Eventually new gender norms are created and then those will also be recreated
over and over again. This pattern is what proves that our society is in a transition period between
the next gender stereotypes that will become the new norm.

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W. Kane, Emily "No Way My Boys Are Going to Be Like That: Parents' Responses to Children's
Gender Nonconformity." Composing Gender edited by John E Sullivan 3, A Bedford Spotlight
Reader Pg 91-97
Lorber, Judith "Night to his Day: The Social Construction of Gender." Composing Gender
edited by John E Sullivan 3, A Bedford Spotlight Reader Pg 19-30