SOCIAL LIFE IN THE PHILIPPINES

Social relationships in the Philippines have been described as a mosaic of

personal alliances molded out of real kinship ties, ritual kinship relations,
relationships based on special debts of gratitude, market-exchange partnerships,
patron-client bonds, and friendships.
As is true with Latin Americans, Filipinos enjoy being with other people and are
very sociable. People like to hang out and socialize on the street. Conversation is
a major pastime and people enjoy joking around and teasing one another. There
is relatively little segregation by age and gender at parties. Teenage boys dance
with their mothers. Little girls dance with old men. Adults dance with each other.
Things occur spontaneously without a set plan. People arrive unexpectedly or
don't show when they are supposed. People may be a little annoyed by tardiness
or perceived broken promises but they dont get bent out of shape over rit.
Whoever is missing usually shows up eventually. Because individuals are
considered far more important than schedules, punctuality at meetings may be
admired but not strictly observed.
Filipinos are extremely social and hospitable; they also like to eat and drink
often. You are likely to be offered a drink (coffee, soft drink, juice or water) and a
snack (biscuit cake etc.) almost immediately on first meeting. It is socially wise to
accept the offer; at least of the coffee or soft drink. If you are the host you should
also be prepared to offer and serve a coffee/soft drink and snack. If invited to a
family or other social occasion it is Filipino practice to bring along a small gift for
the host and/or hostess, typically a cake or other small gift of very modest value.
[Source: Canadian Center for Intercultural Learning +++]
Filipinos have a knack for humour. They can always find something to laugh
about. They even love to craft funny anecdotes about socio-economic-political
situations and adversaries in life. Filipinos love to tell jokes in social settings, but
less so in the context of business. Humour may be self-deprecating, often relies
on puns, but is rarely dry or cynical. Irony is often not understood or is
misinterpreted. +++

According to humanbreeds.com: Filipinos are friendly and sweet. It is just true,

they are so happy and friendly and sweet and they honestly remind me of the
hobbits in the Lord of the Rings....Filipinos love to live and enjoy life and like to go
out. This means that Filipino individuals with very little money in the bank or the
wallet are more likely to go and spend a big chunk of this money on a Starbucks
coffee, a movie or a night out with their friends rather than saving it for a time that
the money is needed. [Source: humanbreeds.com, February 7, 2014]

Friendship in the Philippines

Friendship often is placed on a par with kinship as the most central of Filipino
relationships. Certainly ties among those within one's group of friends are an
important factor in the development of personal alliance systems. Here, as in
other categories, a willingness to help one another provides the prime rationale
for the relationship. *
Filipinos usually make friends easily. They are warm and hospitable. They smile
a lot, which makes it easier for strangers or foreigners to feel at ease with them.
They can easily strike up a conversation with the person seated next to them, for
example. Filipinos can communicate with peoples of other nations with ease
because the majority of the population can fluently converse in English.[Source:
Canadian Center for Intercultural Learning]
According to the blog casualsavant: In Filipino, the word "barkada" means a
group of friends. As with many things Filipino, the delineation of closeness is not
exact. I've heard it described as a group of close-knit friends or simply a peer
group. The best definition I can come up with is that to a Filipino, one's barkada
is another form of family. This may sound frightening to foreigners, since surely
one group of relatives is enough! While it must be admitted that our loyalties do
beget corruption and nepotism, the upside is strong networks. The barkada has
the best of both worlds, people who know you and love you anyway, but who will
allow you to take them for granted... to a certain extent. This motley crew is my
barkada. [Source: casualsavant.typepad.com]
According to humanbreeds.com: Filipinos get friendly with each other so quickly
but are so noisy when in a group. Filipinos are generally very friendly, so it is so

easy for two Filipinos who have just met to turn into instant friends. The social
experiment: If you bring 1 Filipino to a crowd of people, he/she is likely to blend
in, be friendly and nice and sweet. But bring 10 individual Filipinos into a bigger
crowd, these 10 individuals, who had never met before, are likely to greet each
other, become instant friends and form their own mini gang. A group of Filipino
people easily stands out of the crowd with its loud Tagalog dialect and even
louder laughter. [Source: humanbreeds.com, February 7, 2014]

Pakikisama and Group-Oriented Filipino

Perry Gamsby Harvie wrote in his blog filipinawives.wordpress.com: Filipino
research into the psyche of the Pinoy is very much like the society itself, very
group oriented. That shouldnt be surprising as group behaviour is preferred to
doing things on ones own by all Filipinos. Even going across the street to the sari
sari store, I have observed Filipinos take a companion with them. Even if it is just
a baby who can do very little to assist them should the need arise, having
someone with you is more comforting than going it alone. Now you might begin to
understand why your Filipina is hesitant to do anything on her own, at least for
the first year or two when she arrives in your country. [Source: Jeff Harvie, Perry
Gamsby, D.Lit, M,A filipinawives.wordpress.com, August 26, 2014 <<>>]
This is a core value of Filipino culture and life and it has a name; kapwa.
Togetherness. Just like the old joke of how many Filipinos can you fit in a jeepney
(one more) there is always room for more people in the group. Individualism,
kanya-kanya, is something that was introduced to Filipino society by western
colonisers. Perhaps now you can see why incompetence and the inability to get
things done that seems so endemic in everyday situations is virtually non-existent
among Filipinos abroad. Let me explain. <<>>
There is a thing called pakikisama, or group harmony that means it is more
important for everyone to feel good than for anyone to feel bad. Doing something
as a group, however badly or ineffectually, is always better than doing anything,
no matter how well, individually. When the pinoy becomes an OFW or migrates
abroad, this group harmony is no longer as important and the same individual

who earlier couldnt get the job done right and on time, all of a sudden becomes
the most valuable employee in the business! <<>>

Pakikiramdam and Filipino Moral Obligations

Underneath the veneer of change wrought by colonization and modernization,
Filipinos moral values have remained intact and continue to influence behavior.
Filipinos are more moralistic than foreigners generally believe. The most powerful
moral obligation in Filipino culture is utang na loob or debt of gratitude. It is the
essence of loyalty, commitment, and moral order. Utang na loob is a form of
reciprocity, i.e., a favor must be repaid adequately and properly to show gratitude.
Quantifying the original debt may be difficult, but repayment is expected to
supersede the original or else acknowledge that payment is partial and needs
further reciprocation.Other moral obligations include dangal (honor), puri (also
honor), pananagutan (responsibility, accountability), and katapatan (loyalty).
[Source: Philippines Australia Business Council ^^]
On the Philippine concepts of pakikiramdam and utang, Perry Gamsby wrote in ,
filipinawives.wordpress.com: Pakikiramdam is all about empathy, putting yourself
in the others shoes, or flip-flops. It is a heightened awareness of how the other
person feels and is a very key element of the mental make-up of the Filipino, no
matter how rich or poor or how well educated or otherwise they may be. As you
can see, it is a complex social structure that hopefully explains a lot of things that
may have been puzzling you. Like why do they smile or even giggle when they
make a mistake or you point out an error? How come they are so touchy about
being at fault or blamed for something, even when they clearly are the culprit?
[Source: Jeff Harvie, Perry Gamsby, D.Lit, MA(Writing),
filipinawives.wordpress.com, September 2, 2014 <<>>]
Another concept, that of Utang na Loob, means a debt or obligation of honour,
yet utang is also the word (at least in Visayan) for debt of money, when you owe
something to someone. If you have a suki, or regular shop like a butcher or
greengrocer, then they have utang to you for being a loyal customer. If you lend
someone money, they have utang to you, not that that is any guarantee youll get
repaid but well leave that topic for another article. Doing favours for others is a

big part of the culture and having utang, or utang na loob, means these
obligations are usually taken very seriously. <<>>

Bayanihan
Bayanihan ("buy-uh-nee-hun") is a Filipino word derived from the word bayan
meaning town, nation, or community in general. "Bayanihan" literally means,
"being a bayan," and is thus used to refer to a spirit of communal unity and
cooperation. Although bayanihan can manifest itself in many forms, it is probably
most clearly and impressively displayed in the old tradition of neighbors helping a
relocating family by getting enough volunteers to carry the whole house, and
literally moving it to its new location. They do this by placing long bamboo poles
length-wise and cross-wise under the house (traditional Filipino houses were built
on stilts), and then carrying the house using this bamboo frame. It takes a fairly
large number of people -- often 20 or more -- working together to carry the entire
house. All this is done in a happy and festive mood. At the end of the day, the
moving family expresses their gratitude by hosting a small fiesta for everyone.
[Source: groups.csail.mit.edu/cag/bayanihan]
According to the Philippines Australia Business Council: The concept of bahala
na enables Filipinos to tackle difficult problems. Bahala na is a source of
psychological strength when options are few and a decision must be made.
Bahala na is calculated risk. It is not fatalism or resignation, but an inner strength;
it is the force that makes Filipinos daring and resilient. A person must extend not
only material help to someone suffering from misfortune, but also emotional
support. Sometimes awa is used to draw attention to ones self or to influence
decisions, Sir, maawa na kayo sa akin?| (Sir, have pity on me?) [Source:
Philippines Australia Business Council]
The Canadian Center for Intercultural Learning says: Filipinos cherish the
ancestral trait of "bayanihan" which means cooperation. However, this can be
used to the extreme through "pakikisama" which means that Filipinos prefer
smooth relations with colleagues, friends and relatives, even when those others
are wrong. They also have a high sense of gratitude ("utang na loob"): showing
appreciation or returning the favour to someone who did something beneficial to

you. The "padrino" (godfather) system is still in force. In this case, a "padrino"
who is a person of position will get things done faster for you through his clout. It
should be noted though that a non-local (expat) is not expected to abide by the
unwritten rules of "utang na loob". Be firm about operational standards and
procedures and be transparent with these.[Source: Canadian Center for
Intercultural Learning+++]

Utang na Loob (Debt Cycle)

Obligation and responsibility are often viewed in terms of reciprocity ( utang na
loob), comprised of debts ( utang), and inner-self-free will ( na-loob). The process
begins with an unsolicited gift and continues going often into to the next
generation. According to Wikipedia: Utang-na-loob (pronounced u-tang na loob) is also sometimes translated as a "debt of gratitude." In the study of Filipino
psychology, utang na loob is considered an important "accommodative surface
value," along with hiya (shame) and pakikisama (togetherness). That is to say, it
is one of the values by which the Filipino accommodates the demands of the
world around him, as opposed to confrontative values like "lakas ng loob" and
"pakikibaka". [Source: Wikipedia +]
The essence of utang na loob is an obligation to appropriately repay a person
who has done one a favor. The favors which elicit the Filipino's sense of utang na
loob are typically those whose value is impossible to quantify, or, if there is a
quantifiable value involved, involves a deeply personal internal dimension. This
internal dimension, loob, differentiates Utang na Loob from an ordinary
debt("utang"); being an internal phenomenon, utang na loob thus goes much
deeper than ordinary debt or even the western concept of owing a favor. Filipino
psychology explains that this is a reflection of the "kapwa" orientation of shared
person-hood or shared self, which is at the core of the Filipino values system. +
Kevin Limbo wrote in his blog: 1.) Utang na loob in the context of moral and
social traditions in Filipino culture. In general, the concept of utang na loob is
akin to karma because Filipinos value the idea of returning the favor to those
who have done good deeds. There is also a saying in Tagalog, Ang di
marunong tumingin sa pinanggalingan ay di makakarating sa paroroonan. This

proverb serves as a kind of reminder that one has to be thankful, grateful, and
always remember those people who have helped them reach their goals in life.
This is the basic context of utang na loob, where one has to have an attitude of
gratitude and a commitment to return the favor of being the recipient of good
deeds and moral support from his family, relatives, and community. [Source:
kevinlimbo.blogspot.jp, June 7, 2011 \^/]
2) Utang na loob in the context of blind loyalty. Used in the context of blind
loyalty, utang na loob has negative ramifications. This includes blind loyalty to
ones family (blood is thicker than water, my family, right or wrong), friends (he
is my best friend, he is my sons ninong), political leaders (he has done so
much for my family, he gave us money when we needed it). Often this blind
loyalty is invoked by those who have the powerand material resources to sustain
a dependent relationship, and by those who have not been empowered to break
from these ties or relationships. Thus, one finds many poor and uneducated
people in the Philippines in this kind of dependent relationship, and utang na
loob is a tie that binds them for a long while. \^/
3) Utang na loob in the context of enlightened loyalty. There are Filipinos who
are able to look at utang na loob as a social concept without having to be blind
to the limits of loyalty. They appreciate the meaning of utang na loob as a moral
concept, but it does not mean that they will give up the higher set of principles
that they value for the sake of family, friendships, and community loyalty. Utang
na loob may be invoked by some people to demand favors from someone, for
the right or wrong reasons. One is free to return the favor or not, but must take
the risk of burning his bridges. Social conformity in Filipino culture is valued (the
term pakikisama captures this virtue), and one has to face the possibility of
being ostracized for not being loyal. This is the immediate drawback. In the end, it
is a choice between social conformity and ones valued principles.
In Filipino culture, one way to avoid social conflict is to explain things with
sincerity and honesty, without being confrontational. As in other Asian cultures,
saving ones face is very important, and this is also true in the context of fulfilling
social obligations, even in the context of utang na loob. In our culture, talu-talo
na kapag nagkasubuan na. (No more pakikisama when things get too heated
up). Now, majority or almost all of the Filipinos use these two words as an

excuse to reason with you when they want to get something from you.
Pakikisama and pag tanaw ng utang na loob arent really bad. But just like other
issues that become a problem in the society, It becomes bad when you take
advantage of these words and manipulate them for your own gain. Even if it
means using your relationship with other people to get what you want.

Tampo and Magtampo: Filipino Sulking

The Tagalog term tampo has no English equivalent. Magtampo is usually
translated as 'to sulk', but it does not quite mean that. 'Sulk' seems to have a
negative meaning which is not expressed in magtampo. It is a way of
withdrawing, of expressing hurt feelings in a culture where outright expression of
anger is discouraged. For example, if a child who feels hurt or neglected may
show tampo by withdrawing from the group, refusing to eat, and resisting
expressions of affection such as touching or kissing by the members of the
family. A woman may also show tampo if she feels jealous or neglected by her
beloved. Tampuhan is basically a lovers' quarrel, often manifested in total silent
treatment or not speaking to each other. The person who is nagtatampo expects
to be aamuin or cajoled out of the feeling of being unhappy or left out. Parents
usually let a child give way to tampo before he/she is cajoled to stop feeling hurt.
Usually, tampo in Filipino culture is manifested in non-verbal ways, such as not
talking to other people, keeping to one's self, being unusually quiet, not joining
friends in group activities, not joining family outing, or simply locking one's self in
his or her room. [Source: Center for Southeast Asian Studies Northern Illinois
University, seasite.niu.edu <>]
John Miele wrote in liveinthephilippines.com, Tampo is, essentially, sulking or
pouting, but with a unique Filipino twist: It starts suddenly and for often no
apparent reason. For someone with two American ex-wives, I know the
difference There is no Western equivalent. Tampo time is usually silent. Things
go very quiet all of a sudden. Brows scrunch up. Plates and other items start
being set down noisily. Angry Filipina voices start being heard, outside doors in
Tagalog, on cell phones in Ybanag, and so on. Female neighbors or the maid
may raise an eyebrow when they see you. Hey! Im just a stupid Kano here! My

friend, your goose is now, officially, cooked. [Source: John Miele,

liveinthephilippines.com, March 2, 2010 ^+^]
The thing about tampo is that it can often creep up on you and surprise you.
What did I do? How would I know that? Well, my friend, whether you know
what caused it or not, you had better figure out why, because until you do, and
proper penance and contrition on YOUR part has been served, tampo will
continue. ^+^
So, aside from the obvious crimes, like cheating or coming home drunk, tampo
can be caused by a myriad of factors: tone of voice in an innocent conversation,
losing face, or even if it is rainy outside and not sunny. My fellow expats, it is just
something that you had better learn to deal with, because, eventually, no matter
how lovey-dovey your relationship is, it WILL happen. So, how long does it last?
Well, in my case, Im a pretty good boy. I commit very few serious crimes. So, it
usually lasts for a day or so, IF, and only IF, I can figure out what I did. Notice I
said I did getting defensive will never help and only serves to lengthen your
time in tampo purgatory. So, since I normally am good, it can take a while for me
to figure out what caused the tampo to occur in the first place. Ive normally done
nothing truly obvious, to me at least. ^+^
So, how do you deal with something like this? Well, I usually hide in my office for
a while and either catch up on work or play video games for a while, all the time
running down a mental list of things I MAY have done. Then, I try apologizing for
things Ive mentally selected that I may have done. It is always my fault, such is
the nature of tampo: There simply is no defense and you just need to suck it up
and be contrite. It is worth noting, however, that if I guess wrong and apologize
for the wrong thing, tampo continues and is probably lengthened on account of
being so stupid as to not KNOW what I did. ^+^
I already know what my crime was: Speaking disrespectfully last night. Im
already planning my penance. My stay in tampo purgatory should be short. It
may take Bobs flower delivery service to make proper amends.

Juramentado: Filipino Running Amok?

In the Philippines, amok also means unreasoning murderous rage by an

individual. In 1876, the Spanish governor-general of the Philippines Jos
Malcampo coined the term juramentado for the behavior (from juramentar - "to
take an oath"), surviving into modern Filipino languages as huramentado. It has
historically been linked with the Moro people of Mindanao, particularly in the
island of Jolo in connection with societal and cultural pressures. [Source:
Wikipedia +]
Juramentado, in Philippine history, refers to a male Moro swordsman who
attacked and killed targeted Christian police and soldiers, expecting to be killed
himself, the martyrdom undertaken as an unorthodox form of personal jihad.
Unlike an amok, who commits acts of random violence against Muslims and nonMuslims alike, a juramentado was a dedicated, premeditated, and sometimes
highly skilled killer who prepared himself through a ritual of binding, shaving, and
prayer in order to accomplish brazen public religious murder armed only with
edged weapons. +
For generations warlike Moro tribes had successfully prevented Spain from fully
controlling the areas around Mindanao and the Sulu Archipelago, developing a
well-earned reputation as notorious seafaring raiders, adept naval tacticians, and
ferocious warriors who frequently demonstrated extraordinary personal bravery in
combat. While Moro forces could never match opponents' firepower or armor,
such bands used intelligence, audacity and mobility to raid strongly defended
targets and quickly defeat more vulnerable ones. One extreme asymmetric
warfare tactic was the Moro juramentado. +
See Separate Article MUSLIMS IN THE SOUTHERN PHILIPPINES

Regional Differences in the Philippines

Identification with ones group is regarded as strong and remains strong even
when the groups go over seas. Tagalogs are regarded as proud, boastful and
talkative. Pampangans are considered independent, self-centered and
materialistic. Ilocanos are seen as hardworking, aggressive and worried about
the future. And Visayans are seen as fun-loving, musical and courageous.
Batangueos are known as the "salesmen of the Philippines."

Filipinos have a strong sense of regionalism. Strong ties bind those who come
from the same province or those who speak the same dialect. They support each
other because they consider themselves as "brothers or sisters". Sometimes, it is
whom you know that counts when facilitating papers or when trying to get quick
and positive results. [Source: Canadian Center for Intercultural Learning+++]
There are strong ties between Filipinos of the same area of origin and ethnic
group and language. In Metro Manila, businesses and settlements may be
organized in such groups. Although most Filipinos can converse in Tagalog (the
basis of the national Filipino language), the majority of Filipinos grow up speaking
other Malay based languages. It is only at the high school level that Filipino
(Tagalog) becomes the common language of instruction and at the tertiary level
English is the normal language of instruction. While most major Malay based
ethnic groups do accept each other well, people prefer to interact socially and live
close to workers from their own ethnic group. +++
Although many Chinese Filipinos do not speak any Chinese dialects or are not
aware of their Chinese genealogical origins, there is some resentment of the
success of Chinese-Filipino business and commercial enterprises and, in
particular, of the Chinese communitys support for financing its own businesses
and the high rates of interest some frequently charge on informal loans and loans
for consumption purposes. +++
There are many diverse pockets of indigenous tribal groups in the remote hilly
and mountainous areas of the Philippines. These peoples speak languages
unrelated to Malay and have different ethnic origins than mainstream Malay
culture Filipinos. In the Cordillera mountain provinces of Northern Luzon they are
collectively known as Igorots; elsewhere in Luzon there are Aeta communities; in
Mindoro Mangyan communities live in much of the uplands; in the Visayan
islands of the central Philippines these indigenous minorities are referred in
somewhat derogatory fashion as "Negritos" +++
See Minorities
Image Sources:

Text Sources: New York Times, Washington Post, Los Angeles Times, Times of
London, Lonely Planet Guides, Library of Congress, Philippines Department of
Tourism, Comptons Encyclopedia, The Guardian, National Geographic,
Smithsonian magazine, The New Yorker, Time, Newsweek, Reuters, AP, AFP,
Wall Street Journal, The Atlantic Monthly, The Economist, Foreign Policy,
Wikipedia, BBC, CNN, and various books, websites and other publications.
2008 Jeffrey Hays
Last updated June 2015
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