Elsa Dillman

10/27/2016
Unit 4 Essay 2
The Choice of Parenthood
Intro to Human Sexuality
Divorce is a strange concept for someone who does not entirely believe in marriage.
Divorce had remained relatively low until the 70s; since then it has dropped, though it still
remains higher than it once was. Our book gives a couple of scenarios that may be contributing
to our higher than before divorce rates. Marriage is changing; marriage is becoming more
diverse, the family ideal is changing, and the lifestyle of American people is changing. People
are more likely to get married older, have fewer children, both partners working full time, and
more. People are not marrying out of religious pressure, at least not as much, dependence on
another parent, they are marrying out of love (Crooks, 362). The meaning of marriage has
changed.
I think it is easy to get divorced, to some extent. Emotionally, I dont think it is easy at all,
but in terms of the law, it is a simple process. I also think that it should be an easy process. I
dont think it is really my place to judge anothers decision to get a divorce and I definitely dont
think two people should have to struggle to get a divorce if that is what one of them wants. To
think of this personally, I can see that if I was married to my girlfriend, I would want her to take
the notion of divorce seriously, but if she were angry enough, I can see her being very impulsive
about it. I also, however, know that whatever she wants is her choice, and I do not ever want to
stand in the way of her being able to make a choice. Nothing is worse than feeling trapped, and
if there was an impulsive decision made, there would always be a day after to talk.
The notion of staying together for the kids, in my opinion is horrible. Many people in my
life have talked to me about their parents getting divorced and how they wish they hadnt, but I
still very much think that staying with a person you dont love for the sake of the children is

harmful for the whole family. It teaches children that marriage is not about love, but about
stability. I think kids should definitely be discussed, and in most cases the kids should be able to
have both parents a part of their life. Divorce can be really hard for kids, but I have seen many
friends with parents who waited to divorce till they moved out, and kids whose parents did not
wait, and I think the parents who waited did more harm to their children than the others. As I
child, I always wanted my parents to get divorced. I was jealous of the kids who had two
bedrooms, or the choice of being with mom or dad. My parents were never near divorce and
despite arguing, I think I knew that they would not ever get a divorce, at least they havent yet. I
think my admiration in other kids whose parents had divorce was set mostly in my issues with
my mother. As a child she and I struggled very much, and I adored my dad, I cant really think of
what caused me to be much less fond of my mother, but now we are friends and I am glad my
parents are happily married.
Divorce should not be taken lightly, but neither should marriage. I think a lot of people
get married at a very young age, at least in this state, and I think this is bad. I also think that
people get married before they really know themselves or their partner. In our book it states that
cohabitation before marriage is usually an indicator that the marriage will fail (Crooks 368), but I
cannot imagine marrying someone who I havent lived with.

Citations:
Crooks, Robert, and Karla Baur. Our Sexuality. 10th ed. Belmont, CA:
Thomson/Wadsworth, 2008. 189. Print.