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by Somrennah Lok

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ENG_301_EDIT ORIAL.PDF (392.02K)

T IME SUBMIT T ED

10-NOV-2016 01:06AM

WORD COUNT

2090

SUBMISSION ID

735111388

CHARACT ER COUNT

10397

like treating . . .

cool graphic !
to do what?

combine with
previous
explanation to
avoid repetition.

"differentiate"? it's ok to use

the scientific word as long as
you define it, as you have here.

for many people?

explain "leftover," without saying "leftover"

bcs it sounds heartless.

good

why is this
better/easier?
Explain.

so, it's not the

most
common.
Type II is,
right?

awesome!
and your
explanation
and
attributions
here are
excellent!

wonderful explanation

great research
and fair
representation

you're very
good at
explaining
another's
words. :)

Although all
of this is well
stated, I
hope in your
revision that
you can
condense it-reduce its
size and
prominence
in your
argument.

I think it's important to say

why we shouldn't just use
adult stem cells, or maybe
umbilical ones, to avoid
using embryos.

all without risk to a patient--very cool

define

Untitled
GRADEMARK REPORT
FINAL GRADE

GENERAL COMMENTS

90

Instructor

/150

PAGE 1

QM

delete
some words or phrases here are unnecessary; they may even cloud your meaing.

QM

delete
some words or phrases here are unnecessary; they may even cloud your meaing.

Text Comment.

like treating . . .

Text Comment.

combine with previous explanation to avoid repetition.

Text Comment.

cool graphic !

Text Comment.

to do what?

Text Comment.

"dif f erentiate"? it's ok to use

the scientif ic word as long as

you def ine it, as you have here.

Text Comment.
Text Comment.

f or many people?

explain "lef tover," without saying "lef tover"

bcs it sounds heartless.

PAGE 2

QM

Frag.
Fragment:
A sentence f ragment is a phrase or clause that is in some way incomplete. Such f ragments
become problematic when they attempt to stand alone as a complete sentence. T he most
common version of this mistake occurs when a writer mistakes a gerund (a verb that acts like a
noun) f or a main verb, as in the f ollowing sentence: "In bed reading Shakespeare f rom dusk to
dawn."

Text Comment.
QM

good

Run-on
Run-on sentence:
T he sentence contains two or more independent clauses. Separate the clauses with a period or
semicolon.

Text Comment.

so, it's not the most common. T ype II is, right?

Text Comment.

why is this

better/easier?
Explain.
PAGE 3

Text Comment.
QM

awesome! and your explanation and attributions here are excellent!

Concise
Practice our sentence revision techniques here and throughout your report (e.g., reduce
prepositional phrases, use vigorous verbs, etc.).

QM

||
Problem in Parallel Form:
Coordinate ideas should be expressed in parallel f orm. All expressions that are similar in
content and f unction should be expressed similarly.

PAGE 4

Text Comment.

wonderf ul explanation

Text Comment.

great research and f air representation

Text Comment.

you're very good at explaining another's words. :)

PAGE 5

Text Comment.

Although all of this is well stated, I hope in your revision that you can
condense it--reduce its size and prominence in your argument.

Text Comment.

I think it's important to say why we shouldn't just use adult stem cells, or
maybe umbilical ones, to avoid using embryos.
PAGE 6

Text Comment.

all without risk to a patient--very cool

Text Comment.

def ine

PAGE 7
PAGE 8

QM

apa mla ref list

Use Purdue OWL to discover the proper content and f ormatting of these entries.

PAGE 9

RUBRIC: EDITORIALS RUBRIC

RHET FOCUS

Advanced

Write f or a specif ic audience and purpose.

ABSENT OR BELOW Audience's needs are of ten not recognized: terms and ideas need explanation and
BASIC
language needs adjustment f or the audience. Purpose (to argue a position

persuasively) isn't clear or achieved.

DEVELOPING

Shows some attention to audience's needs, sometimes def ining necessary terms and
ideas and using audience-appropriate language. Purpose (to argue a position
persuasively) may be unclear at times, and it may not be achieved convincingly.

PROFICIENT

Usually shows attention to audience's needs, def ining necessary terms and ideas
and using audience-appropriate language. Purpose (to argue a position persuasively)
may be implied, but it's clear and achieved.

ADVANCED

Shows sophisticated attention to audience's needs, def ining necessary terms and
ideas and using audience-appropriate language. Purpose (to argue a position
persuasively) is clear and achieved with style.

ET HICAL RES

Prof icient

Using the appropriate majors customary citation style, ethically cite and communicate inf ormation f rom a
variety of discipline-appropriate sources.
ABSENT OR BELOW Omits or uses discipline-appropriate in-text and end-of -text citations and quotation
BASIC
marks incorrectly. Drops quotations and ideas into text without introducing source.

Frequently uses irrelevant or unpersuasive sources or relies exclusively on one

source.
DEVELOPING

A f ew errors in discipline-appropriate in-text and end-of -text citations and quotation

marks. Of ten includes sources without introduction in cases when introduction is
necessary and discipline appropriate. Sometimes relies too heavily on a single source
or uses irrelevant or unpersuasive sources.

PROFICIENT

Correctly uses discipline-appropriate in-text and end-of -text citations and quotation
marks. Usually introduces each source f ully (as necessary and discipline-appropriate)
reader knows who did the research or communicating, f or whom, and why. Use of
sources is usually diverse, relevant and persuasive.

ADVANCED

Correctly uses discipline-appropriate in-text and end-of -text citations and quotation
marks. Introduces each source f ully (as necessary and discipline-appropriate)
reader knows who did the research or communicating, f or whom, and why. Use of
sources is always diverse, relevant and persuasive.

PERSUASION

Advanced

Compare, evaluate, synthesize, and communicate caref ully, objectively, and persuasively the relative merits
of alternative or opposing arguments, assumptions, and cultural values. Integrate this evaluative work into
a persuasive argument.

ABSENT OR BELOW Fails to support claims with relevant reasoning and/or specif ic evidence. Objectivity,
BASIC
balance, and a controlling idea may be lacking.
DEVELOPING

Attempts to support claims with reasoning and evidence, but specif icity and/or
objectivity may be lacking. A controlling idea may be missing or implied. Objectivity and
balance may be weak or f lawed.

PROFICIENT

Usually supports the controlling idea and paragraph claims with relevant, thorough,
and insightf ul reasoning and specif ic evidence. Usually maintains objectivity and
balance in argumentation.

ADVANCED

Supports the controlling idea and paragraph claims with relevant, thorough, and
insightf ul reasoning and specif ic evidence. Maintains objectivity and balance in
argumentation.

ORGANIZ AT ION

Prof icient

Organize, f ocus, and communicate ones thoughts clearly and ef f ectively to address a rhetorical situation.
ABSENT OR BELOW Organizational devices (controlling idea, headings, subheadings, topic sentences,
BASIC
transitions) may be absent, unrelated to the prompt, or illogically connected. Ps

contain multiple topics or are disorganized.

DEVELOPING

Organizational devices (controlling idea, headings, subheadings, topic sentences,

transitions) f it the prompt, but may be vague, too broad, or inconsistenly or illogically
linked. Ps may not be unif ied.

PROFICIENT

Clear organizational devices (controlling idea, headings, subheadings, topic

sentences, transitions) f it the prompt and tie ideas and topics together adequately.
Ps are usually unif ied.

ADVANCED

Clear, specif ic organizational devices (thesis, topic sentences, headings, transitions)

f it the prompt and tie ideas and topics together logically and seamlessly. Paragraphs
are unif ied.

LANG & DESIGN

Prof icient

Recognize, evaluate, and employ the f eatures and contexts of language and design that express and
inf luence meaning and that demonstrate sensitivity to gender and cultural dif f erences.
ABSENT OR BELOW Spelling, syntax, diction, or punctuation errors impede readability. Lanuage may ref lect
BASIC
a gender or cultural bias. Design may be unconventional and inef f ective.
DEVELOPING

Spelling, syntax, diction, or punctuation errors of ten impede readability or otherwise

distract f rom meaning. Lanuage may occasionally suggest a gender or cultural bias.
Design may be inconventional or inef f ective.

PROFICIENT

Spelling, syntax, diction, or punctuation errors are f ew and do not distract f rom
meaning. Lanuage respects gender and cultural dif f erences. Design is conventional
and ef f ective.

ADVANCED

Outstanding control of language, including ef f ective diction and sentence variety.

Lanuage respects gender and cultural dif f erences. Design is conventional and
ef f ective.