I grew up in a home with two amazing parents who provided me with a great example of

a loving, God centered, and Christ-like marriage. There was never any question or doubt that my
Dad loved my mom with an intense passion, and it was ingrained into me that my mom would
never pass up an opportunity to go the extra mile for my dad. My parents raised me to believe
that I have value in God, and that I deserved to be that in the eyes of a boy. I was taught to honor
God in all the things I do, but especially with my body. As I started middle school and high
school, I quickly realized that that is not the way everyone is raised. I was taught that one day,
after I take my vows for a life of love, sex was to be something shared with one very special
man, but the people I was surrounded by grew up learning that sex is a teenage rite of passage. I
was taught that parents fight, but they always find a way to work it out; however, many of my
friends went to their Moms house during the week, and their Dads every other weekend. Now,
as a college freshman who loves Jesus, His word, and His people with fervor, it is so obvious to
me that what the Bible says about womens role in marriage can be easily misinterpreted, and
todays society has strayed quite far from what the Lord intended when he created this thing
called marriage: the life long union of a man and a woman.
In this paper, I will be looking at the way God intended marriage to be from a religious
approach, using the Bible, along with articles written by pastors, scholarly theologians, and
credited magazine authors as my source of information. I will start by describing what the Bible
says about a womens role in marriage. Then I will explore how Biblical passages about
womens role in marriage can be misinterpreted and taken out of context. Finally, I will argue
that what the Bible says about womens role in marriage is very different from what todays
society says about women in regards to marriage.

There are many marriage role models that exist in todays culture, but not all of them are
positive. According to Andrew Bernhardt in his article, The Biblical Model for the Marriage
Relationship, most of todays media is largely a negative influence. For the most part, the
secular media promotes some very poor ideas for marriage. A large portion of what makes a
healthy marriage according to the worlds standard is physical beauty, with a strong emphasis on
physical intimacy.(Bernhardt) He then argues that the best example of how a marriage should
look in the Bible is found in Ephesians 5:21-25. This verse can easily be taken out of context,
specifically verse 22 in which Paul, the author of Ephesians, states:
22

Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.

Many people will misinterpret this verse as Paul instructing wives to be submissive to their
husbands in a slave like way, however you must pay attention to the verses before and after 22 to
understand what Paul is trying to say. Verse 25 instructs the husband on his role:
25

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for

her
Which, when you compare the husband to Jesus, you can argue that Jesus submitted himself fully
to the church by giving up his life. Giving up your life is the deepest way that you can submit
yourself to someone. Therefore, even though verse 22 appears to suggest that it is the wifes role
to be the submissive counter-part, both the husband and wife are called to submit to one another,
as Paul states in verse 21:
21

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

The bible states that wives are supposed to love their husbands as Christ loved the church, and
the same is expected in regards to the husband.
In 1 Corinthians, Paul devotes the entirety to chapter 7 to providing instructions to the
Corinthians on what a marriage should look like. Paul clearly makes a case that marriage should
be rooted in attitudes of selflessness when he says in verses 3-4:
3

The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her

husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In
the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.
When he says that a wife nor husband has authority over their own body, he is claiming that
marriage and sex are not things that belong to us, but instead should be given freely to our
spouse. This illustrates the selflessness of marriage, which should be a reflection on Jesus and his
marriage to the church. In todays society, the culture of marriage and relationships have become
primarily self-seeking. Jay E. Adams says in Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage in the Bible,
Now that we have the pill and legalized abortion on hand, men [and women] can do away with
marriage. Implying that today, committing to a husband in life long unity is no longer necessary,
confirming the selfish nature of todays relationships. more
The media idolizes the idea of women having independent control over their bodies. Even my
all-time favorite show Friends promotes the idea of sexual freedom, with all three of the female
characters each having several partners in which they engage in regular and casual sex. Its
incredibly clear in the Bible that sexual promiscuity is not what we were meant for.