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SIGNATURE ASSIGNMENT: SOCIAL PSYCHOLOGY 2500

ANTHONY FELLOWS
SUBMITTED TO: PROFESSOR THOMAS
PSYCHOLOGY 2500
11/30/16

"To bare defeat with dignity, to accept criticism with poise, to receive honors with humility

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- these are marks of maturity and graciousness." If there's one thing humans are great at, it's
finding fault with one another. This can either be a destructive wrecking ball in our lives, or the
ultimate blessing to improving our lives. It's up to the individual to find the silver lining. Having
had the opportunity to reflect and evaluate myself upon my past actions in how I deal with
feedback has been greatly beneficial. I have seen a good deal of what has contributed to my
mind in a subconscious level, and how I've struggled with feedback, and accepted it. I think
feedback is something that should be sought after by all, and it seems the human race has a
tendency to react negatively to it. However, as I had the chance to experience if first hand, it
truly is a gift.

"It's a six!" "No, it's a nine!" "No! It's a six!" - argue the two people standing on opposite
ends of a number painted on concrete. The two genuinely see things differently, and aren't
willing to heed the other. At the root of this, is pride. Pride in being too caught up in their own
desire to be right to heed to the other. It was in my teenage years than my pride and ego
skyrocketed. If it wasn't my way, it was the wrong way. This was a destructive habit in my life,
and halted my individual growth. When I left to Arizona for two years for a mission to serve the
Deaf, I was forced to humble myself. If I wanted to get anything done, I had to become one of
them. This meant actively seeking out their correction, and making a conscious effort to apply it.
In fact, they seemed more eager to give it more so than a small boy wanting his Mother to open
his poorly crafted but thoughtful mothers day craft. In the end, this was the switch to opening
the doorway of accepting feedback for the rest of my life.

As I reflected upon my last week's efforts to note down points of feedback, I came to a
surprising conclusion. I've gone from one extreme of being so unwilling to take anything to heart
unless it was my way, to now possibly taking too much to heart. A particular instance was when I
was showing a friend whome I respected in the field of music my material that I'd been working

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on. He was rather quick to shoot it down. I figured he must be right, and it must not be of great
quality. A week later, I showed another respected friend who I look up to in music, and he said
nearly the opposite. I observed a new feeling of hope and excitement. Is this really all it took to
have power over my own personal feelings? The opinions and perspectives of another? I'll
admit the "who" it came from played a big role. But even at this point in the here and now, it
doesn't sit well with me. For this reason I think it's critical to take what we will, take our own
feelings and beliefs into account, and then reflect to see if we truly agree with the feedback
given, and plan to implement it or not.

Upon observation of my own self conduct in the presence of someone giving feedback, I
see that I outwardly show that I am appreciative of it, and value it by nonverbal and verbal
ques/gestures. Head nodding, eye contact, reaffirming statements, and gratitude. I'll often point
towards "I agree", without actually saying it. My reasoning is that I want people to continue to
give me honest and direct feedback without feeling the need to "sugar-coat" it. For myself, when
people beat around the bush too much, I lose sight of what they're really trying to say. Direct
feedback works best for me. At the point if establishing an interaction to where they feel they
can be honest, I myself can then choose whether to believe, agree, and accept it, or decide they
are off in their own observation. Ultimately, the best of both worlds.

As I stated earlier, feedback is essential to our individual growth. We can go through life
with the things we know and feel, or we can be open to others insights, and their sharing of life's
lessons learned, which can literally give us years of experience, knowledge, and further insight
in just a short time. As I have chosen the later, I've gained a greater appreciation for others,
learned the "easy way" rather than the "hard way", and have been put on the fast track to being
my best self. In addition, people find it more enjoyable to associate with those who don't have a
brick wall barrier - similar to your favorite restruants, the open are often more liked than the

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closed.

A particular hard time for me to accept feedback is when I already know that I've already
done something wrong. I get into an attitude of "Obviously it was wrong, in going to make the
necessity corrections myself". The only real enemy here is myself in trying to protect my pride
and save face from embarrassment. However I've found that the best way to recover in the
event of such, is to cut losses, acknowledge fault and criticism, and leave it alone. Going to
great lengths to shift fault and blame will usually exacerbate the situation and limit the amount of
future feedback you receive. In addition, you'll suceed in looking childish. I've discovered this in
my romantic relationships.

Because of the significant role that feedback plays in my life, I've had a great desire to
provide others with the same. Upon reflection of how these events have gone, I've found a mix
of positive and negative responses. The positive have usually resulted as I've more thoughtfully
considered how to provide it, rather than being direct (like I prefer).

In conclusion, I have had the chance to come to the realization that I need to continue actively
seeking out feedback for my own personal progression, despite the benefits Ive already gained
from past experiences.Feedback should be offered and requested in the appropriate timing and
setting. No one is going to force any of us to be great, but feedback provides a nice shove
towards fulfilling our higher potential.

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REFERENCES

Franzoi, S. L. (2008). Social psychology (5th ed.). McGraw Hill.

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