Anthony Fellows

COMM-2110
Submitted to Professor Phillips
Submitted: 12/10/2016
Overview
I set out on this project to reduce my negative judgements upon individuals during the first
encounter. However, it gradually expanded to include reducing how often I stereotype, and also
increase my overall liking for people. Finally, gain further control over my "Impression" of
others. I was provided with strategies to apply from the course and text which have a foundation
to build upon for working on these plans. I had the opportunity to implement them on a daily
basis, and had the opportunity to evaluate my own mindset. These implementation efforts paid
off, and were conducive to getting me into the habit to make these strategies become closer to
second nature. However, I have yet to do so completely, which is what I'd like to see. I have
created a plan of attack which will provide me with the additional support I need to do so by
following up with myself at the end of each day in holding myself accountable for direct results.
Unwanted Communication Pattern
Prior to this course, I didn't have a particularly strong desire to interact with strangers around
me, let alone those individuals who I already knew. The other part that accompanied this was
my tendency to pre-judge, stereotype, and thin slice by placing them into unchanging groups.
This lack of desire would take place in settings such as the work break room, hallway,
restaurants,and Individuals would be standing around, and I would rather just not initiate
conversation. Secondly, an example of my stereotyping for individuals occurred while I was
parked at a red light, and saw a boy with black pants, a beanie, headphones, and other "Gothic"
attire. I couldn't help but wonder, "Why are you trying so hard? What do you have to prove? Do
you think the world cares?" What a nonsensical thought! My mind condemned him to the
unchanging group of "Punk-Goth-kids-who-dont-care-but-care". By doing these two things, I
was cutting off my future opportunities for myself and opportunities to help others, while creating
a negative paradigm within myself from judging and stereotyping.

Strategies
I began by seeking to reduce my negative and categorizing thoughts. No more thoughts of "He
must be like this, because of this...", She must do this, because she said this etc. I started
with the Halo Effect, (pg. 74) which is to hold others in a positive light, rather than a negative.
Furthermore, you view someone not only initially in a positive light, but continually. This was a
huge undertaking in giving others the benefit of the doubt. I expected this to break my pattern of
negativity, giving a chance for new habits to grow. This point was critical not to be naive, but still
act logically and accordingly
to overcome my stereotyping, I set out to begin asking questions to those I was sterotyping in
an attempt to help me see more of the picture before condemning the individual to all

Anthony Fellows
COMM-2110
Submitted to Professor Phillips
Submitted: 12/10/2016
unchanging group for the rest of time in my mind. This is similar to the purpose of asking
questions, that being to gain added understanding, further knowledge, and information about
the individual. Questions became a great starting point, and caused me to suspend judgement. I
also planned to reduce my prejudice, and "Thin Slicing". My strategy to overcome these was by
"stopping" (pg. 137). This is to "Stop focusing on your own mental messages and be other
oriented."This was the opportunity to get out of my own head and get into theirs. By so doing, I
became much more empathetic, understanding, and finally, slower to view others negatively. If
we are so caught up in our own thoughts, we give little way to whats actually happening in
reality. On an external rather than internal level, this would look like someone pausing mid
sentence in the middle of a rant, then resuming on a more calm, more educated level.
All of these strategies tied into my attempts to increase in the number of interpersonal
interactions I have. By first liking the individual, I would then find the desire to communicate with
them to come easier. Viewing them better with the positive light I talked about would help me to
do so. To do so, I began working on my "willingness to communicate" (pg. 43), causing me to
reflect upon my own internal will to create these interactions. This would look like the friendly
waitress who chats with you over your meal becoming your friend, even though you'll likely
never see eachother again. Having a willingness to communicate works by having the individual
open up, and be open to engaging in conversation. I clearly needed to begin engaging in those
conversations. Again, I planned to start asking questions to make the interaction more enjoyable
by getting to know the individual better, learn new things, and gain new opportunities.
Unfortunately, everything didn't go as smoothly as I just made it sound. (As nice as that would
be). However, because of the struggles that went into applying these strategies, they have more
been further engrained into my being. The biggest struggle I encountered during this process
was simply remembering to do it. I'd often get so caught up in my day to day routine of living the
way I always have that I missed a lot of days to apply the material I was learning. Also, even on
the days I was remembering to do these things, I'd find I wasn't exactly getting the results I
wanted. The conversations I'd initiate was short, and lacked depth. In connection with this, the
people I'd try to interact with always seemed busy, like they had some place to be, and it felt
burdensome to try interacting. For example, I would see the cashier attempting greetings which
were likely required by her employer, while she was trying to work through the seemingly never
ending line, struggling to bag at the same time. My first thought on this occasion was to engage
in conversation, but I'd observe the list of her chores before her, and just move along.
Furthermore, I often times wasn't able to realize I was stereotyping prior to the first interaction
until I'd already formulated my opinion of the target. Being able to catch myself during or before
the labeling process Id created for them was difficult.
Implementation
One of the most clear opportunities I had to apply my "Halo Effect" came as I was sitting in a
High School classroom (my work) and hearing a student say an off the wall comment that was
attempting to be humorous, yet came off as annoying and immature. I knew where this goes -

Anthony Fellows
COMM-2110
Submitted to Professor Phillips
Submitted: 12/10/2016
my next thought is Why is he being so childish.. His parents should have raised him to be more
respectful But instead, I paused my internal thoughts for a moment, and thought "He's a High
Schooler... His priority is likely his friends, and if he is able to get a laugh from his friends, he
feels he has thus far succeeded. So, I was able to view his comments much differently
(although I still didn't support or agree with them), which helped me to view him more positively
as a whole. This also required "stopping", (pg.137) and interrupting my own chain of thought. I
feel like this is one of the few occurrences that I handled nearly perfectly. In another event, as I
began explaining the beginning of this text, I gave the example of the boy crossing the street
with headphones, a beanie and Gothic attire while I was parked, and I observed and formulated
an opinion. However there is a better end to this story. It was after this thought that I analyzed
my own thoughts, and saw that I'd just made a judgement call if "Thin Slicing", (pg. 37) and
stereotyping. Because of his demeanor and facial expression, I placed him into this made up
"we don't care about anything" goth group. The few observations I'd made were enough for me
to come to that conclusion. Again, I attempted to "Stop", however a bit too late on this one. At
this point, the best I felt I could do was to learn from this, and be more prepared to seize the
opportunity in the future.
In accordance with this example, I had a chance to redeem myself in an interaction with a fellow
colleague during break. With the presidential election going around, the exchange was heavily
centered on politics. This individual disclosed their position to me, and internally I thought "Oh.
Here we go. One of THESE people.." preparing to place her in this category I'd created for
these people who side with this political perspective. However, it was then that I choose to start
"Asking Questions" (pg. 140). I asked "Does your family [side as the same political belief] as
well? She replied with an emphasized "NO", and continued to explain why. This was a nice thing
to hear, as I saw her as more of an individual who wasn't just going along with the crowd. I
asked further How she managed to hold the beliefs she does when growing up in a household
where her family was not on the same page, and I think she saw this as an invitation to share
with me all of her perspectives along with her experiences. Upon examination of this interaction,
I feel I did great in having a desire to at least hear her out, and have an open mind to her
remarks. The best way to have gone about this would of course have been to refrain from
stereotyping in the first place, but this was progress nonetheless. It would also seem that I
engaged in a bit of "Indirect Perception. Checking"(pg. 85) as well, without disclosing my
innermost thoughts.
Referring back to my "Willingness to communicate" stratagem, I began creating more
opportunities for myself to have these interactions where I could meet new people, make new
friends, and engage in simple conversation. My day to day routine is relatively isolated - I
commute two hours for work, work in a High School, return home and record music. So I began
going out of my way to create these in displaying my own willingness to communicate to myself.
I started doing some open mic sessions instead of staying at home recording, going through the
cashier when shopping instead of self-checkout, and hanging out in the employee break room
for lunch. In all of these interactions, I feel as though I stuck too much to basic surface level
questions and conversation. Had I done this, maybe I would have gained a greater appreciation

Anthony Fellows
COMM-2110
Submitted to Professor Phillips
Submitted: 12/10/2016
for the conversation that took place. In retrospect, I should have been more bold in showing me
desire to interact.
Results
With all of these strategies and implementations, the fact is I did obtain results. For the most
part all were positive, as even with negative results there is something further to be learned,
allowing for additional positive results down the road. I give people the benefit of the doubt
much more frequently now. Strangely, I find myself defending them [individuals being observed]
much more now to when they are talked down to, even when they are not in earshot to hear the
negative comment, al; the while I don't even know them. While I like to think this has made me
an overall happier person, I can't confirm that it has. However, I do think has helped me become
more approachable by others. In the text, we read about "Reciprocation of Liking" (pg. 266)
which states that we like those who like us. While I can't prove they have an increased liking for
me, I do seem to be approached by those who know me more often, which leads me to give
validity to this theory. In connection, when I illustrated my stereotyping flaw with the Co worker
about politics, after I'd asked more questions and she had finished, I took note of the newfound
respect I had for her. I believe this was also part of becoming other oriented, which ended with
me having an increased level of liking for her. I managed to attain an increase in liking, and
placed her back into the individual category contrary to stereotyping.
My interactions with strangers in day to day conversion (from the self-checkout to cashier
examples) weren't as effective as I hoped they would be. But after reflection, I regret doing it out
of a "chore" or "responsibility" mentality than out of a real desire to love and connect with
people. I think my insincerity was likely picked up on by the individuals, and that may be why the
conversations never really went anywhere. There were a few exceptions from my interactions
however, those who were eager to communicate to begin with. Thus, I trust that there are more
results to be obtained down the road by following the strategy properly.
A key result I observed was that these strategies began to become habitual to me. This was a
huge milestone in looking at how comfortable I was in doing things the way I'd always done, and
constantly forgetting to implement the new strategies I was learning.
In summary, I am both satisfied and dissatisfied with my results. I am satisfied in seeing that I've
likely become a more positive person, and more approachable, but dissatisfied nonetheless. I
wish I would have taken every last drop of opportunity this assignment offered. Had I been more
diligent in seizing every opportunity to apply the strategies and done a better job at holding
myself accountable, I may have gained an increased level of satisfaction with my interpersonal
interactions, and become more outgoing.
Recommendations
At the conclusion of this project, I have been left with thoughts of what I could have done better,

Anthony Fellows
COMM-2110
Submitted to Professor Phillips
Submitted: 12/10/2016
changed, and what I could do next. It is the latter that I'd wish to focus on at this time. I fully plan
to continue working on these strategies such as controlling my first impressions by refraining
from stereotyping and thin slicing. I have factual results to prove my own ability to change and
improve, thus I will draw from that. I also recognize the necessity of at least creating a scenario
where I can interact more with individuals, and make them a enjoyable experience. I will refrain
from taking the "easy" "comfortable" way out, and slipping back into my old routine. In the
future, I would still like to increase the level of habit that these strategies play in how I conduct
myself. I will create a simple notebook in which I follow up with myself at the end of every day.
Certain boxes with options to check off with categories such as "three conversations with
strangers", "Positive light on strangers" etc. will be marked at the conclusion of each day. If that
isn't working, I'll consider involving an accountability partner. The question after all is longer
about knowing what to do, rather a matter of doing it.

Anthony Fellows
COMM-2110
Submitted to Professor Phillips
Submitted: 12/10/2016
References

Beebe, Steven A., Susan J. Beebe, and Mark V. Redmond. Interpersonal

Communication: Relating to Others. 5th ed. N.p.: Pearson, 2007. Print.