Ortega 1

Danira Ortega
Professor Batty
English 28
13 December 2016

In this essay, the main changes that I needed to do was to add more detail and dialogue in
my second and third paragraph. For the second paragraph, I added quotes from the article to give
the reader a better understanding of the summary and, present the main ideas that stood out to me
from the article like the part where the author says that William had to walked to the nearest
library which was miles away. I decided to include this part of the article as a quote because it
would give the reader an example of how hard was for a person to have access to a book while
here in the United States, there is a large number of books and the people dont read them. I also
added a specific example of one of my classmates who tried to tell me that grades werent
important and I connected the quote that I implemented into this paragraph to the sentences I had
before. I added a title to the article because it would give the reader a better understanding and an
idea of what the article was going to talk about. I change some of the grammar mistakes that I
had from the rough draft that I did during the in-class essay. Because it was a timed essay, I
rushed while I was writing it which lead to the problem where I forgot to put some letters or I
forgot to put commas and the title of the essay.