Book Reviews

What Every Man Wants in a Woman; What Every Woman Wants in a Man
John and Diana Hagee, ISBN 1-59185-723-6, Charisma House
This a dual book bounded into one, written by a husband and wife, but not from the viewpoint of
the authors but from their experiences and research done and the things written down by men and
women about what they want in a partner. In both the sections of the book, each of the authors
also draws a parallel to the section written by the other to illustrate the differences in the way a
man and a woman thinks.
What Every Man Wants in a Woman John Hagee
The author starts his book by listing the top ten things a man wants in a woman in order of
importance and then bases the rest of the book there upon. In addition to the information shared
with men, each chapter also contains a special section for women titled Hints for Her to assist
women in giving a man what he needs.
Conflicting expectations are the source of most unhappiness in marriage. If you are entering into
marriage with high expectations but with low preparation, you are going to be disappointed. A
hasty courtship can often lead to a marriage relationship that is a disaster. Allow enough time for
infatuation to die and for true love and spiritual attraction to develop. Marriage is the act of two
incompatible people learning to become compatible via compassionate compromise. The author
discusses the following four differences every man and woman must learn to accept:
- The womans right-brain caring versus the mans left-brain logic
- Enjoying the process versus accepting the goal
- Spiritual authority versus feminine manipulation
- The Days of Wine and Roses versus the Days of Thunder and Lightning
In 1 Corinthians 7:2 Paul commanded Let each man have his own wife. This means s~x
outside of marriage is absolutely forbidden. The implication in 1 Corinthians 7:3 is that God does
not only expect the man to be loyal, but He also expects him to be a lover. Several Scripture
references to various pages are given to show that the Bible is indeed a book for Lovers.
The author discusses his interpretation of the 7 things listed below he thinks God says Woman
wants from men based on Ephesians 5, and teaches some communication skills in between.
- Women want a man to love them completely, passionately and romantically.

- Women want non s~xual affection.

- Women want a man who can truly understand that women are divinely different and that they
arent going to change.
- Women want emotional intimacy.
- Women want spiritual intimacy.
- Women want mutual submission.
Love fades in the environment of neglect, hostility and resentment. What you are willing to walk
away from will determine what God can bring you to. Dont be afraid to walk away from a
relationship in your life if that person does not meet your spiritual requirements for a lifetime
partner. Love is not a license to change or to control your partner. Stop believing that you do
understand her, because she does not understand herself. Stop playing the blame game. If you
cannot accept responsibility for what you have become and for the things you do, no marriage
counsellor could keep your marriage together. When you make a mistake, acknowledge it and
apologize. Learn to forgive yourself for not being perfect.
Learn to laugh It is important to learn to laugh together, not at each other. A marriage built
upon s~xual excitement alone is doomed to failure and jealousy is the way to drive your wife off
without trying. Jealousy turns conversations into inquisitions.
Stop putting up with problems in your love relationship and take steps toward change. Change is
painful but if there is no pain, there is no gain. Dont let your parents marriage control yours, but
together with your spouse, walk your own road. Put love first to make love last. There will come
a time when you will need to give love to your spouse even if it is not deserved. Have the
unconditional love of God one for the other.
In accordance with Proverbs 23:7, what you believe to be so becomes so. Your attitude is
contagious and is never content until it is expressed and determines your success or your failure.
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Take charge of your life or someone
else will. Happiness is a choice and you will only be as happy as you make up your mind to be.
Feel great about yourself. It is certain that if you do not like yourself, you will not like your
neighbor. The love you refuse to give, you will lose.
The author narrates three real-life stories about marriages in situations of adultery, abuse and
imprisonment that survived and became stronger than what they ever were. There is no adversity
that cannot be overcome if two human beings are willing to totally forgive each other and not
allow the past to control their future. God is greater than anything you may face in your
marriage.
Marriage problems related to addictions, alcoholism and homos~xuality can all be overcome if
you are willing to confess everything in your life that resents and resists the perfect will of God.

Common personality traits existing among alcoholics are traits developed after the addiction, not
before. Alcoholism has no known physical cause and an unhappy childhood is not a primary
cause of addiction. Alcoholism or drunkenness of any kind is clearly forbidden in Galatians 5:1921. The alcoholic plans his day around drinking and hides behind excuses. The author provides
some clear practical steps as a way out of alcoholism.
Poor communication is generally the result of poor hearing. When it stops flowing, your
marriage dies. You can win an argument but lose your marriage. In accordance with Matthew
12:34-37, words are a transcript of the mind.
The first step toward making your marriage an affair-proof marriage is to determine that both of
you want to improve your marriage. Your marriage can sizzle, but not without you planning to
make it happen.
The author discusses the following steps to Marriage Survival:
- Totally forgive and forget the past
- The Husband is the King, Priest and Prophet of his family
- Realize that submission in the Bible means mutual submission
- Eliminate the absentee father
- Start communicating today
- Live in s~xual freedom
- Reference for the marriage relationship
Love is not what you feel, love is what you do. The Bible says in 1 John 4:8, He who does not
love does not know God, for God is love. Without love, you are nothing. John Hagee concludes
hid part of the book with an in depth discussion of love as described by the Apostle Paul 1
Corinthians 13.
What Every Woman Wants in a Man - Diana Hagee
The most important decision you will make in your life is whether you receive Jesus Christ as
your Savior. The second most important decision you will make is who you will marry. These
choices will contribute to your future happiness and whether you will be able to serve the Lord to
your maximum potential.
There are many reasons why people get married, but Diana sums up God reasons for marriage
as:
- To become one flesh

- For committed love

- For mutual service
What women want in a man may not be what God wants them to have. The author tries to equip
women to receive from others what they need in order to be the best women, wives and mothers
God intended them to be. Each chapter also provides a section titled, Hints for Him. The
author also supplements her section with additional information contributed by Dr Anne Reed, a
pastoral care counselor.
Every woman wants to know without a doubt that her partner is completely loyal to her in
thought and deed. Adultery does not occur overnight. The man usually begins conversing with a
close female friend and this friendship then develops into a deeper relationship of trust and
desire.
The author discusses the following Biblical facts about s~x that should be acknowledged:
- S~x is God-given and designed to be pleasurable.
- God created s~x to be both a physical and spiritual bond.
- God created s~x to have purposeful boundaries.
- The God-given purpose for s~xual intimacy are unity, comfort, procreation and as a defense
against temptation.
A husband is commanded to find satisfaction (Prov 5:19) and joy (Eccles 9:9) with his wife and
to concern himself with meeting her unique needs (Deut 24:5 and 1 Pet 3:7).
A wife is responsible for availability (1 Cor 7:3-5), preparation and planning (Song of Sol 4:9),
interest (Song of Sol 4:16 and 5:2) and sensitivity to her husbands needs (Gen 24:67). The
author expands and discusses the above in depth.
A woman wants a man who is confident in himself, in her and their relationship, who can lead
her and her children with kindness and understanding and who consults the Lord and her before
any major decision is made. However, to be a leader, you must have someone to lead. It is the
womans responsibility to submit to his leadership. Submission is one of the most difficult
actions you will ever undertake as a Christian woman. Submission is a mandate, not a
suggestion. The antonym of submission is resistance. Submission is not an act of the will, it is a
condition of the heart. You must submit to God before you can submit to any man.
The author describes and discusses two forms of respect. The first is a form of regard for the
position held by an individual. A wife should respect the position of husband as father and priest
and the husband should respect the position of woman as wife and mother. The Word of God
states that wives should respect their husbands through submission to their authority, and that the
husband should love and respect his wife. The second form of respect is linked to the person and

is expressed with love, trust and gratitude. Respect at this level is earned. One of the greatest
services a woman can perform for her husband is to respect him in thought, in word and in
action.
Raising a family that loves the Lord takes a three-way partnership the husband, his wife and
the Lord. A family man spends quality time with the whole family as well as with each child. A
parent is only as happy as their saddest child. A wife must partner with her husband and not
compete for his leadership over the children. Set goals for your family and stay focused on them.
Pray daily with your spouse for your children. Bless your spouse and your children daily. Pray
for your childrens spouses early in their lives.
In 1 Timothy 5:8, the Bible teaches that the man who can, but wont provide for his family, is
one who has abandoned the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. A man who rejects the
principle of tithing cannot understand the feelings of a woman who believes and trusts in the
Word of God regarding prosperity. In this case the woman must wait on the Lord to convince her
husband, and in the mean time she must be obedient to her husbands decision. This is a question
that must be settled before the marriage takes place.
A woman will be held accountable for how she helps her husband maintain financial order within
the marriage. Her husband should be able to have full confidence in her and should lack nothing
of value because of her management of the household budget in accordance with Proverbs 31:1112.
The thing a woman wants most is security on all levels. God provided for our needs to be met by
defining the roles of men and women. It is important that a woman makes her husband feel
needed. A man who doesnt feel needed is not going to provide. A clean, neat appearance and
home, a wife with a smiling face, clean and well behaved children and a car clear of debris gives
a husband encouragement.
Truthfulness and Honesty are absolutes in life and they must never be compromised. They can be
broken and they can be mended, but they can never be the same again without the restoration of
Jesus. Honesty is defined as a refusal to lie, cheat or deceive in any way. Without trust, a solid
marriage foundation cannot be build. Some men struggle with honesty and some husbands find it
easy to lie to their wives about minor things. Others manipulate or control their wives by the lies
they tell. When a problem with dishonesty is acknowledged, a man can with the help of God and
his wife, learn to be honest in the marriage relationship. Lies will always be exposed sooner or
later and they will do irreparable damage to the marriage. In order to get an honest relationship,
you must contribute honesty to the relationship. It will be difficult for a husband to give
emotional support if the wife does not openly express her emotions to him.
It is not honesty that drives a wedge into a marriage, it is dishonesty. Be willing to share with
each other the things in your past that happened to you, even if it is things you consider to be
failures or weakness. A husbands biggest disappointment is not what happened to his wife in the
past, but in her not trusting him with the truth. Recalling the events of a day allows both to
practice current honesty. To forget something is not the same thing as avoiding to tell about
something. Revealing your thoughts, plans, hopes, dreams and goals for the future is to

experience future honesty. Not telling the whole truth is the same as telling a lie. To provide
partial information that leads your spouse away from the complete truth is deception. To
manipulate the facts to create a false impression is dishonest.
It is very difficult to have a great sense of humor without being a happy person. Humor is not
laughing at someone elses expense. In Matthew 5:1-12, nine kinds of people are listed who are
happy. The word Blessed in this passage also means Happy. Learn to laugh at yourself and
allow laughter to diffuse anger. Laughter can change everything. Humor requires that two people
see the same thing as funny.
The author quotes the columnist Ann Landers who makes a clear distinction between infatuation
and romantic love: Infatuation is instant desire one set of glands calling to another. Love is
friendship that has caught fire. It takes root and grows, one day at a time. The author then shares
seven things a woman can do for her man to generate romance in her marriage based on Song of
Solomon:
- Tell him you love him (Song of Solomon 1:7)
- Praise him (Song of Solomon 4:7)
- Prepare a special meal for him (Song of Solomon 2:5)
- Give him gifts (Song of Solomon 7:13)
- Surprise him (Song of Solomon 2:10)
- The power of your touch (Song of Solomon 1:2)
- Loyalty (Song of Solomon 6:3)
The author sketches some scenarios of what it might have been like to be married to a Godly
man like Noah, Abraham, Moses or David. They were all flawed individuals chosen by a
flawless God to do His will. In order to accomplish their purpose, these men had to have a very
supportive and godly woman by their side. The author then discusses what it means to be a
Godly man in todays time and how a woman can help her husband becoming a Godly man.