Anger

Management
cum
Conflict Management

ERICO M. HABIJAN , PUBLIC SERVANT

Ang Bida at Ang Kontra Bida

The Protagonist and the Antagonist

Kaaway and Kakampi

Puti and Itim
Tama at Mali o Masama at Mabuti

lets Recall . . .

Great Man: Genes

The Great Men Theory
Leaders are Born . . .
Not Made

FASCISM
It is not Fascism when we do it

 Leaders are born . . .

Not made

Reflections, Implications and Considerations:

a) Leadership is directly correlated to breeding

and it is innate.
b) Mythic notions in times of need, a great
man world arise, almost by magic
c) Great man male, white and from
aristocracy.
Often linked to Thomas Carlyle
(19th century philosopher and historian who said):

the history of the world is but the biography

of the great mean.

Film Showing

The Behavioural Theory

(The ROLE)
Behavioural theories of
leadership do not seek inborn
traits or capabilities. Rather,
they look at what leaders
actually do.
If success ca be defined in
terms of describable actions,
then it should be relatively
easy for other people to act in
the same way. This is easier to
teach and learn that to adopt
the more ephemeral traits or
capabilities.

Successful leadership is
based on definable,
learnable behaviour

The Managerial Grid

***Considerations:
Leaders may be
concerned for their
PEOPLE and they
also have some
concern for the
WORK to be done.
The question is, how
much attention should
they pay to one or the
other?

The Managerial Grid (Blake & Moulton,, 1962)

HIGH
C
O
N
C
E
R
N
For
P
E
O
P
L
E

Country Club
Management

Middle of the Road Management

Impoverished
(Poor/worst quality)

Management

LOW
Relationship
Orientation

Team
Management

CONCERN FOR PRODUCTION

(Task Orientation)

Authority/Compliance
Management

Situational Contingency

Leadership style is
determined by its
context.
THE SITUATIONALCONTIGENCY
THEORY

Decision Making Style

Situational Contingency

Leadership style is
determined by its
context.

(THE SITUATIONALCONTIGENCY
THEORY)

Decision Making Style

The Leadership Continuum

How do you define your own continuum?

Contingency Theory
(Fiedler 2000)

***An individuals leadership style depends upon

his/her personality and is, thus, Fixed.
The effectiveness of a leader is dependent on:
1. the leaders interacting with the group
2. favorableness of the group-task situation
- leader-member relations: quality of the
interpersonal relationships
- task structure clearly specified goals/lack
of ambiguity
- Power of the leader degree of control,
authority

Relational/Reciprocal Theory

- focus on the relationship

between leader and follower.
- One or more people
engaged with each other to
achieve a shared purpose or
to achieve results.
- relationship between
follower and leader is in
focus
- Influence is KEY.

Influence

Transactional Leadership
Seeks to motivate followers
by appealing to their own
self- interest
Its principle are to motivate
by the exchange process.
-Business owner exchange status and
wages for the work effort of the employee

- Politicians exchange favours or

government jobs for votes.

How would you explain the graph parallel to Leadership S?

***Transformational Theory
1. Developing vision
2. Selling the vision: in order to have followers,
creating trust and personal integrity are critical;
in effect, leaders are selling themselves as well
as the vision
3. Finding the way forward focus on team and task
4. Leading the change: remain visible and central
during the action; leader seeks to infect and reinfect their followers with a high level of
commitment to the vision.

Is charisma
necessary in
the exercise of
leadership?

. . . seen as
necessary but . . .
not sufficient!!!

Transformational Theory
Two key charismatic
effects that
transformational leaders
achieve is to evoke strong
emotions and to cause
identification of the
followers with the leader.
Use ceremonies, rituals,
slogans and other cultural
symbolism to evoke strong
sentiments

Quadrants of Transformational Philosophy

***Transformational
Leadership
(By Briones, ADMu)

LIGHTS and SHADOWS

As inextricably linked
with higher order
values in the
realm of morality and
ethics
As a moral, and attributed
transformational skills to people
success

The Heroic Leadership (ADMU)

Based on

Ignatian/Jesuit
spirituality,
heroic
leadership is
anchored on
4 core
leadership
pillars . . .

Self Awareness understanding strengths, weaknesses,

values, and worldview. (Sino ako)

Ingenuity confidently innovate and adapt to a changing

world
(Anong Anyo mo?)
Love engage others with a positive attitude that unlocks
their potential
(Kaya mo ba?)
Energize yourself and others with heroic ambitions and a
passion for excellence (Sinong Magaling?)

The Pillars . . . The pillars . . . The pillars

Servant Leadership
Great leaders serve

the group they lead, by

creating and
maintaining an
environment w/c
encourages and
supports everyone in
maximizing their
potential, especially
vis--vis group goals.

Adaptive Leadership
Leadership is an activity,
not a set of personality
characteristics
The activity of leadership is
defined as the mobilization
of the resources of a people
or of an organization to
make progress on the
difficult problems it faces.
(Heifetz 2000)

Resonant
Leader
by Goleman Framework
Mastery of Purpose and Vision
Self-Awareness and Control
Empathy
Social Expertness
Personal Influences

Inward

Inward

Outward

Relationship Management
13. Inspirational Leadership
14. Influence
15. Developing competencies
16. Change catalyst
17. Conflict Management
18. Teamwork and Collaboration

Resonant Leader

Social Awareness
10. Empathy
11. Organizational Awareness
12 Service
Self-Management
4. emotional self control
5. transparency
6. adaptability
7. achievement
8. Initiative
9. Optimism

Self Awareness:
1. Emotional self-awareness
2. Accurate self-assessment
3. Self-confidence

Anger Management
(The Film)

A. The angry man opens his mouth and shuts

his eyes.
B. Whenever you look, theres something to be
seen-(Talmund.)
C. You must never be ashamed that you sought
help for yourself. This is not a weakness.
D. Temper is the one thing you cant get rid of
by losing it.
E. Goosfraba this sound is a deviation of an
old Eskimo word that mothers use to calm the
children.

Source, WHO 2013

Research has shown that stress can lower the bodys ability to do each of those things,
according to Dr. Lorenzo Cohen, Ph.D., assistant professor of behavioral sciences at the
University of Texas, M.D. Anderson Cancer Center."

Solving Problem Creatively

(a Leadership Style: Stress and Anger Management)

SUPERVISORS/
PRINCIPALS

LEARNERS

PARENTS
ASAWA
O
BIYENAN
CO-TEACHERS

Who is sucking your ENERGY?

DISAPPOINTMENT (PAGKABIGO)

-HINDI NAKUHA O NATUPAD ANG

INAASAHAN
- HINDI NAGING MAGANDA ANG
INAASAHAN

(Example: nasulot ang Promotion

Di napagbigyan ang Suggestions,
Di naaprubahan ang Projects etc.)

***Dahil dito, ninanakaw ang mga ss:

kaligayahan
pagpupursigi
Resulta:
nagkakaroon tayo ng kaaway
nawawalan tayo ng tiwala sa ibang tao
(happiness, enthusiasm, friends, trust)

KAIPOKRITOHAN (HYPOCRISY)

- Hindi pagkakaroon ng
- KATOTOHANAN!
ang RESULTA:
- Kaplastikan;
- taperweyr;
- orocan
- Pagkukunwari,
pagbabalatkayo
- Kasinungalingan
(Lost of Truth)

PAGIGING MAHIYAIN (SHYNESS)

- Pagkakaroon ng takot
- Pagmamaliit sa sarili
Maaaring ito ay bunga ng mga ss:
- pinagmanahan
- kaawa-awang karanasan
- pagkawala ng modelo o kulang sa
paghikayat

Pagka-GALIT (Anger)

- Lubha o sobrang kawalan

ng kontrol sa sarili
- Sobrang pang-aapi o di
pagkilala sa kabutihan ng
tao
- Kawalan ng pagkakataon
para sa pag-unawa at
pagpapatawad

- Dahil dito,
- nagiging sanhi ito ng
ating pagkalugi sa mga
bagay na dapat ay
makabubuti sa atin
- nasisira ang ating
pisikal na buhay

Pagka-Perpektiyonista
(Perfectionism)

- Kawalan ng pagunawa na ang

lahat ay
nagkakamali at
natutuo sa
kamalian:
kasanayan,
moral,
kaalaman.

- Dahil dito, nangyayari ang:

- paghahanap palagi ng mali
- aayawan tayo ng kapwa
-nawawala ang ating
pakiramdam at
nagiging insensitibo.

- Nagiging bulag tayo sa

positibo; bukas palagi
sa negatibo
- Nawawalan tayo ng
kapahingahan sa ating
sarili dahil palaging
may kulang.
- Nagiging idiyalista
subalit di nagiging
masaya sa reyalidad.

Pagiging Mahilig (Lust)

- Kawalan ng kontrol sa
pangangailangang
sekswal
- Pagdinig sa tawag ng
pita o laman

- Dahil dito, sinisira nito ang mga ss:

- relasyon sa Diyos
- relasyon sa mga minamahal
- relasyon sa sarili: dignidad at
kredibilidad

HIGH WILL
HIGH SKILL

HIGH WILL
LOW SKILL

(KONSIYENSIYA AT KASANAYAN)

LOW WILL
LOW SKILL

LOW WILL
HIGH SKILL

(Quadrant of LEADERS Skill and Will, ASCD 2012)

ANGER AND STRESS MANAGEMENT

THE PROBLEM (WHAT/INPUT)

LEADERSHIP STYLE

THE SOLUTION (HOW and WHY)

THE RESULT (OUTPUT)

Executive Leadership and Managerial Competence

(CESPES 2010)

Creativity and Innovation

Critical and systemic thinking
Environmental acumen
Honesty and Integrity
Judgment

Leadership

The ESSENTIAL QUESTIONS (re: Problems Solving)

How clear is the PROBLEM to you?

What makes this a PROBLEM

Why is this a problem

What are things that would help you to solve the PROBLEM?

Remember . . .

THE ORGANIZATION

CO OWNERSHIP

Top five things leaders fail to do

1. Failing to provide appropriate feedback (praise,
redirection)
2. Failing to listen to or involve others in the process
3. Failing to use a leadership style that is appropriate
to the person, task, and situation (over-supervising
or under-supervising)
4. Failing to set clear goals and objectives
5. Failing to train and develop their people
http://www.kenblanchard.com/img/pub/pdf_critical_leadership_skills.pdf

Top five things leaders fail to do

Not just feedback, but appropriate feedback

1. Failing to
provide
appropriate
feedback (praise,
redirection)

Siguraduhin mo lang na ito ay hindi

personalan. Maliwanag dapat ang
intensiyon ng puso.

Top five things leaders fail to do

2. Failing to
listen to or
involve others
in the process

Huwag kang palaging EPAL

Hindi lang naman ikaw ang may galing, kung
tutuusin, ISA lang naman ang magaling.
Pasalamat ka at pinahiram ka.

Top five things leaders fail to do

3. Failing to use a
leadership style that
is appropriate to the
person, task, and
situation (oversupervising or undersupervising)

Okay lang sana kung sala sa INIT

o sala sa LAMIG. Ang mahirap di
mo man lang nakita kung sala
SALA ka nga o hindi, kasi nga
DUWAG ka!

Habijan 2015

Top five things leaders fail to do

ang problema sa atin, may target
tayo, pero wala namang malinaw
na lalakaran kasi mali ang gamit
ng paa, mata, at katawan. (Habijan
2015)

4. Failing to
set clear
goals and
objectives

Top five things leaders fail to do

5. Failing to train and develop their people
http://www.kenblanchard.com/img/pub/pdf_critical_leadership_skills.pdf

Maramot ka kasi akala mo

mauubusan ka. Nakalimutan
mong ang nagbibigay ay may
mas mahigit pang
matatanggap.
(Habijan 2015)

The ESSENTIAL QUESTIONS vis. a vis. THE CONVERSATION

How clear is the PROBLEM to you?

What makes this a PROBLEM

Why is this a problem

What are things that would help you to solve the PROBLEM?

Dick Bernard: Politics: An Awkward but Essential

Conversation. Written by admin on September 16th,
2011

This cylinder represents the political

scrum as described by a professor of Jeremy
Powers, someone on one of my internet
conversation groups. This is how Jeremy
described it:
Dick Bernard:
Politics: An
Awkward but
Essential
Conversation
Written by
admin on
September
16th, 2011

I had a college political science professor

who taught that the political spectrum was not
a flat line, but a circle. And most of the people
are inside the circle, rather than on it, as we all
have beliefs that run contrary to standard
liberal or conservative thinking. The further
you get to one extreme it starts to circle back
to the other extreme. Libertarians, for instance,
inhabit both the extreme left and extreme right
of the spectrum.

SOLVING PROBLEM creatively . . .

Anti Principle
Hear ATTACK.
IGNORE any additional
information being offered.

Principle
Dont hear ATTACK.
LISTEN for what is behind the
words.

Philosophy:
What do we choose to listen for in a conflict and how do we hear what is said?
Listen to the sound of silence. Issue vs. Personal
Walang Personalan, pero kapag trabaho ang usapan, dapat personalan!

SOLVING PROBLEM creatively . . .

Anti Principle

Principle

Attach the person.

Resist the urge to attack.

Create and support destructive

patterns.

Change the conversation from

the inside.

Philosophy:
Refusing to engage in cycles of attack and counterattack can seem foolish, possibly
dangerous, and maybe even impossible in a conflict situation.
OFFENSIVE VS. DEFFENSIVE (HUWAG KANG PIKON! MAY IBANG GILID ANG PISO!)

SOLVING PROBLEM creatively . . .

Anti Principle
Provoke the other persons
worst self

Principle
Talk to other persons
best self

Philosophy:
Because attack and defense give rise to more attack and defense and because people
tend to the level on which we engage them, talk to the other persons best self.
MAS MAGANDANG MAALALA KA SA PAGIGING MAAMONG ANGHEL
KAYSA SA MASUNGIT AT MATAPANG NA ANGHEL.

SOLVING PROBLEM creatively . . .

Anti Principle

Principle

Confuse needs, interests,

and strategies.

Differentiate needs,
interests, and strategies.

Philosophy:
We all have the same basic needs, have different interests arising from those needs.
Choose different strategies to meet those needs and interests.
Matrix Revolution: Need vs. Want vs. Know.

SOLVING PROBLEM creatively . . .

Anti Principle

Principle

Ignore emotions or act out

destructively.

Acknowledge emotions.
See them as signals.

Philosophy:
Emotions are not optional. It is usually counterproductive to consider a conflict
w/o considering the emotions involved.
Bantayan mo ang iyong Emosyon. Mararating mo ang dapat marating at di ka dapat
maapektuhan ng GALIT na emosyon. Huwag kang emosyonal.

SOLVING PROBLEM creatively . . .

Anti Principle

Principle

Assume acknowledgement.
Dont acknowledge.

Differentiate between
acknowledge and agreement

Philosophy:
People have a much easier time listening and moving ahead if they feel
that they have been heard.
Makinig ka Para Pakinggan ka. Ito ang umpisa ng pagkakaunawaan. Sa mga taong di
marunong makinig, di nito alam ang KATWIRAN.

Thank you
very much!

Radisson Blue Hotel, Cebu | 19 July 2011