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I n t e l l iG e n e

F irst published by IntelliG ene 1997


R eprinted 1998
Second R eprint 2002

a .
book
on
writing

C opyright Sam M cC arter and The N uffield Self-access Language lYpjcci


for O verseas D octors at Southw ark C ollege, L ondon.

IS B N 0 9519582 1 6

Sam McCarter

t HnHHrirt
*s lu m s iiiu im

For Alison, Deborah and Johnathan

( ontcnls
P rcfiiee............................................................................................................. >
A cknow ledgem ents........................................................................................ ii

Section 1: Focus on coherence


1.
2.

I low to interpret essay title s ........................................................................ 4


Mow to link your introduction to your essay title .................................. 5

3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.

Language sa lv a g e ........................................................................................ 6
Controlling your id e a s ................................................................................ 7
How to organise and control your essay ................................................. 8
Giving names to sen ten ces........................................................................ 9
Naming sentences in a paragraph...............................................................10
Awareness of coherence in a p a rag rap h ................................................... 12
Organising a paragraph by q u e stio n s........................................................14

10.
11.
12.

More questions for organising...................................................................... 16


Creating questions for organising a te x t..................................................... 17
The sequence of te n s e s...................................................................................18

13.
14.

Making c h o ic e s ............................................................................................... 19
A chaos m a z e ................................................................................................... 20
K e y .......................................................................................................... 86-106

Section 2: Focus on cohesion


15.
16.
17.
18.
19.
20.
21.
22.
23.
24.
25.
26.
27.
28.
29.

Sentence relationships - knowledge check 1 .......................................... 26


Sentence relationships - knowledge check 2 .......................................... 27
Some areas of confusion ............................................................................. 28
Split te x ts .........................................................................................................30
Lost connecting words and p h rases............................................................31
Sentence relationships in a t e x t .................................................................. 32
Text with gaps ............................................................................................... 34
Text with no gaps .......................................................................................... 35
Reference with sy n o n y m s............................................................................36
More reference with synonym s...................................................................37
Words and phrases that are not exactly c o rre c t........................................38
The definite article as a connecting w o rd ..................................................39
The articles: fill the g a p s ..............................................................................40
Reference awareness and connections in a text .......................................41
Awareness of old/new information in a sentence: 1 ................................ 42

30.

Awareness of old/new information in a sentence: 2 ................................ 42

31.

C ontradictions................................................................................................ 44
K e y .........................................................................................................107-121

32.
33.
34.
35.
36.
37.
38.
39.
40.

Formal letter checklist Part 1 .......................................................................48


Formal letter checklist Part 2 .......................................................................49
Formal letter a n a ly s is.................................................................................... 50
Sequence of tenses in a te x t...........................................................................51
Reading for writing ........................................................................................52
Formal and informal aw aren e ss...................................................................54
Translation from informal to formal ...........................................................55
Dressing up an informal le tte r...................................................................... 56
Formal to informal translation..................................................................... 57

41.

A writing d r ill.................................................................................................58
K e y .........................................................................................................122-129

Section 4: Correcting written English


42.
43.
44.
45.

Recognising spelling m ista k e s.................................................................... 62


Recognising the correct word p ictu re....................................................... 63
Recognising words with a different appearance..................................... 64
Editing sentences with different m istak es............................................... 65

46.

Speed e d itin g ...................................................................................................66

47.
48.
49.
50.
51.
52.

A teachers rev e n g e !...................................................................................... 67


Correcting a te x t.............................................................................................68
Correcting and improving a te x t.................................................................. 70
Learning to see mistakes in a t e x t ............................................................. 72
Finding irrelevant in fo rm atio n .................................................................... 73
Another m a z e ..................................................................................................74
K e y .........................................................................................................130-136

Section 5: Punctuation
53.
54.
55.
56.
57.

Punctuation n am es..........................................................................................80
Questions about p u n ctu atio n ........................................................................ 81
Missing pun ctu atio n .......................................................................................82
Punctuation correction................................................................................... 83
Capital L etters.................................................................................................. 84
K ey.......................................................................................................... 137-139

l u m m u m i eh n o0si f

Section 3: Writing letters

Preface
T h is p u b licatio n is a self-stu d y b o o k on w ritin g . It is b a se d on th e a u th o rs w o rk o v e r
m any years in E nglish as a S eco n d /F o reig n L an g u ag e an d E n g lish fo r S pecial P u rp o ses,
first in S ierra L eo n e, W est A frica, and th en in the U K .
The book is d esig n ed prim arily fo r E n g lish lan g u ag e stu d en ts at an a d v a n c e d lev el,
i.e. th e C a m b rid g e C e rtific a te in A d v a n c e d E n g lis h ,C a m b rid g e P ro fic ie n c y and th o se
stu d e n ts p re p arin g to a ch ie v e ap p ro x im a te ly b etw een 6.0 an d 7.5 in th e IE L T S ex am
m an ag e d and a d m in iste re d by the B ritish C o u n c il, the U n iv e rsity o f C a m b rid g e L ocal
I ix am in atio n s S y n d icate (U C L E S ) an d by IE L TS A u stralia. N ativ e sp eak ers o f E n g lish
m ay also find so m e asp e c ts o f th e b o o k o f use.
T h e book h as been w ritten from a c o g n itiv e , rath e r than a g ra m m a tic a l, p o in t o f view .
T h e g u id in g p rin c ip le th ro u g h o u t is to m im ic th e u n d e rly in g m ech a n ism s a n d th o u g h t
p ro c e sse s that m a k e u p the act o f w ritin g . T h e re fo re , it is h o p ed th at if y o u fin ish th is
b o o k you w ill re m e m b e r th e m e c h a n ism s ra th e r th a n th e la n g u ag e an d ad a p t th e m to
suit y o u r o w n n eed s.
T h e re arc five S e c tio n s, fo cu sin g on th e fo llo w in g areas: co h e re n c e in a te x t, co h esio n ,
letter w ritin g , c o rre c tin g a tex t and p u n ctu atio n . A ll th e e x ercises m ay b e u se d in
iso latio n , b ut you arc m ean t to read th em as fa r as p o ssib le in seq u en ce.
T h e e x e rc ise s a rc , in the m a in , d e sig n e d to m ak e you slow d o w n a n d th in k about
org an isatio n in w ritten texts. You m ay fin d , th erefo re, th at you hav e to rep eat an exercise
sev eral tim es. O n o c c a sio n , y o u m ay ev en feel th e n e e d to use th e K ey to h elp you
c o m p le te a p a rtic u la r ex ercise; d o not b e afra id to do th is. T h e im p o rtan t th in g is that
you are ab le to d o th e ex e rc ise s w ith ease a fte r so m e p ra ctice.
O n e w ay p erh ap s to a p p ro ach the ex e rc ise s is to th in k o f th e m as creatin g a m ech a n ism
fo r you to ab so rb the in fo rm atio n in the K ey. R e m e m b e r th a t you are a lso try in g to
a b so rb the m ental p ro cesses in v o lv ed in w ritin g . T h is is o b v io u sly m u ch m o re tim e
c o n su m in g , an d so m e tim e s m o re fru stra tin g , th an learn in g b are facts. Y ou sh o u ld not
th ere fo re e x p e c t to d o each e x e rc ise p erfectly , n o r a lw ay s at th e first a ttem p t.
l*'or e a ch e x e rc ise in this b o o k y o u sh o u ld read all th e in stru ctio n s v ery carefu lly .
A s you d o the ex e rc ise s try not to m ark the book so th at you can re p e a t th em .

Sam M cCarter
August 1997

Acknowledgements
I w ould like to th an k th e fo llo w in g c o lle a g u es a n d frie n d s fo r th e ir h e lp an d sup p ort
d u rin g th e w ritin g and p ro d u c tio n o f th is b o o k .
Ju d ith A sh , D o ris B a y b u tt, W e n d y B isik e r, J u lie E a s to n , H ila ry F in c h , C a ro lin e
H a m m o n d , P h il Ja k e s, R o g e r T o w n sen d , M ic k y S ilv e r a n d B e rn ie W all.
I w ould also like to th an k all th o se stu d en ts o v e r th e y e a rs w h o h a v e h elp e d in m any
w ays to d ev e lo p the id eas in th is b o o k . It is im p o ssib le to n a m e th em all, but I w ould
like to n am e th ree p eo p le in p articu lar: H iro K h o sh n a w , Z o ran M o m c ilo v ic and S hujaat
A1 N ath an i.
A sp ecial th a n k s is also d u e to th e m e m b e rs, p a st an d p re s e n t, o f th e C o m m itte e o f the
N u ffie ld S e lf -a c c e s s L a n g u a g e P ro je c t fo r O v e rs e a s D o c to rs , n a m e ly : A n a h ita
A m in o s se h e , J u d ith A s h , A le x a n d ra D a v ie s , S tu a rt E v a n s, T o n y H o o p e r, F arh a d
Ib r a h im , D o ro th y J o n e s , J o y P a r k in s o n , J u lie t R a y n e r, W e n d y R ile y , H c rn a n
R o sen k ran z, A z a r S h eib a n i, T oni S c o tt, R o b y n Y oung.

SECTION 1

T w o m em b ers o f the said C o m m itte e , w h o a re n o lo n g e r w ith u s, D r K a th e rin e E llio tt


and K en C rip w e ll, also d e se rv e a m e n tio n .
D rs G ill and B ru ce H a d d o c k d e serv e m o re th a n k s th a n I can say fo r th e ir lo n g p atien ce
a n d fo rb earan ce.
F in ally , I w o u ld like to say a v ery sp ecial th a n k y o u to M arg o B ly th m a n fo r h av in g
faith .

a book on w ritin g

Contents

Page

a book on writing

1.

H ow to in terp re t essay t i t l e s .............................................................................. 4

2.

H ow to link y o u r in tro d u c tio n to y o u r essay t i t l e .....................................5

3.

L a n g u a g e s a l v a g e .................................................................................................. 6

4.

C o n tro llin g y o u r i d e a s ..........................................................................................7

5.

H ow to o rg an ise and co n tro l y o u r e s s a y ........................................................ 8

6.

G iv in g n a m e s to s e n t e n c e s ................................................................................. 9

7.

N a m in g se n ten ces in a p a r a g r a p h ...................................................................10

8.

A w areness o f co h e re n c e in a p a r a g r a p h .................................................... 12

9.

O rg a n isin g a p a rag rap h by q u e s t i o n s ......................................................... 14

10.

M ore q u e stio n s fo r o r g a n is in g ....................................................................... 16

1 1.

C re atin g q u e stio n s fo r o rg a n isin g a t e x t ...................................................... 17

12.

T h e se q u e n c e o f t e n s e s .......................................................................................18

13.

M ak in g c h o ic e s .................................................................................................... 19

14.

A ch a o s m a z e ......................................................................................................... 20

a book on w ritin g

Exercise 1
How to interpret essay titles

Exercise 2
How to link your introduction to your essay title

The first step in writing any essay is to read and interpret the essay title correctly. Let us look al
the following example:

In the last exercise, you looked at interpreting essay titles and writing a suitable introduction.

1.

What steps do you think should he taken to reduce pollution?

In this essay question, the word steps is the organising word and the general subject is puliation.
You do not need to describe pollution itself; the title assumes that you already know what
pollution is. The title also indicates that pollution, at the mom ent, is bad. You could, therefore,
use this idea as part o f your introduction:

In other words, you were looking forward from the essay title to the introduction. As you write,
however, you also need to look back at what you have written, as well as forward.
In the introductions below, look for the organising words and decide what the general subject
is. Then write down a possible essay title for each one.

Example:
To many people boxing is a cruel sport, which ought to be banned. In my opinion,
however, it should not be stopped fo r many reasons.

Pollution is nowadays one o f the most serious threats to all living things on the planet
There are, however, many steps that can be taken to remedy this situation.
The first sentence is a general statement about the general subject. The second sentence is the
topic sentence: it gives the direction of the essay and tells you how to organise it.

It you look at the topic sentence first, you will see that there are several clues to the title. The
essay is about your opinion and the reasons. The general sentence shows you that the general
subject is boxing. Look at the following titles and you will see that the introduction expresses
(lie general subject and focus or topic o f the title:

Now study the essay titles below and:

- Boxing should be banned. What is your opinion o f this statement? Give your reasons.
- What is your opinion o f boxing? Give your reasons.

(a) find the word(s) in each question which will help you to organise your essay
(b)

decide what the general subject o f the essay is.


1. Capital punishment is an issue about which people fe e l very passionately. However,
there are many strong arguments against this issue.

2.

W h a t are th e m o st e ffe c tiv e w ay s to re d u c e u n e m p lo y m e n t in E u ro p e ?

2. Banning smoking in public places is an issue that gives rise to endless controversy.
There are, therefore, many arguments fo r and against.

3.

W h a t are th e d isa d v a n ta g e s o f u sin g c o m p u te rs in the w o rk p la c e ?

3.

Road deaths in Europe are still a major problem. This situation could, however, be
improved enormously by adopting a wide-ranging package o f measures.

4.

F o o d a d d itiv es sh o u ld b e b a n n e d . D isc u ss.

4.

5.

W h a t are the m ain b en efits o f in v e stin g m o n ey in sp ace re se a rc h ?

Over recent years, poverty has increased in many parts o f the world with disastrous
consequences.

6.

T h e m ain c a u se o f th e d e stru c tio n o f th e e n v iro n m e n t is th e b u rn in g o f

5.

The legalisation o f cannabis is a subject that has aroused considerable debate. There
are, however, a number o f benefits to be derived from making the drug legal.

6.

Recycling waste paper, glass and scrap metal is obviously a sound m ethod fo r
reducing pollution. Even so, a number o f equally important measures exist to tackle
the problem.

fo ssil fu els. D iscu ss.


7.

D is c u s s th e a d v a n ta g e s o f se x e d u c a tio n in th e s c h o o l c u rr ic u lu m at
seco n d ary level.

8.

T h e b est solution to u rb an traffic p ro b lem s is to b an all cars fro m city c e n tre s.


W h a t is y o u r o p in io n ?

9.

T o b acco a d v ertisin g in th e m e d ia sh o u ld b e b a n n e d . W h a t is y o u r o p in io n ?
G iv e y o u r reaso n s.

a book on writing

7. In some cases a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but there are also certain
circumstances where it can be o f enormous help.
8.

Both public and private means o f transport have advantages and disadvantages.

9.

Corporal punishment, in one form or another, has been part o f the educational system
in many countriesfor a long time. As fa r as I am concerned, however, such punishment
is unacceptable.

10.

Now that oil resources are becoming rapidly depleted, more attention is being focused
on alternative form s o f energy.

a book on w ritin g

Exercise 3

Ex eicise 4
L ^ j rolling your ideas_______

Language salvage
Now it is time for you to try to write your own introductions, with some help. All the essay
questions below have the same general subject. The focus of each essay, however, is different.
In each case, decide first what the focus is. Then look below. You will see that you have a list of
introductions with another general subject. Find an introduction, or introductions, with a similar
focus and adapt the text to fit the titles.

___________ _

You h |vc |()0|<C(j ilt ^ow t() jn(CrprC( cssay questions. The next stage is controlling your ideas.
hen you read an essay title, you may sometimes have lots of ideas, but y u may not know
w hleho fth c m are relevant.
Look at the following titles:

E xam ple:
1. Do you agree that euthanasia should be made legal? Give your reasons.

W hy do more and more people w ant to live in cities?


What are the disadvantages o f living in cities?

You can adapt a (and also e and h) as follows:


Making euthanasia legal is an issue which arouses enormous controversy. However, I
[largely] [disjagree with such a practice and fe e l that it should not be legalised
2.

Euthanasia should be made legal. What are the arguments fo r and against, and
what is your opinion o f this statement?

3.

Discuss the risks o f making euthanasia legal.

4.

How fa r do you agree with the statem ent that euthanasia should be made legal?

5.

Euthanasia should be made legal. Discuss.

6.

What are the benefits o f making euthanasia legal?

7.

Discuss the advantages and disadvantages o f making euthanasia legal.

8.

What are the arguments against making euthanasia legal?

9.

What are the arguments fo r or against making euthanasia legal?

N(,w look al the map below. It shows the general subject, living in cities and the focus o f each
issay above: reasons and disadvantages. Around the map is a chaotic juinblc f ideas. Look at
j"'n b lc and decide which ideas can follow each direction.
List your answer on a piece of paper. D o not mark the bohgreater variety of jobs
noise

dont know
your neighbours

better facilities
living in small towns is boring

b.
c.
d.
e.
f.
g.

h.

Experimenting on animals is an issue which arouses enormous controversy. However,


I largely disagree with such experiments and feel that they should be banned.
Experimenting on animals is an issue which arouses enormous controversy. There
are, therefore, many arguments for and against.
Experimenting on animals for medical purposes is a controversial issue. However, in
my opinion, such experiments should definitely be banned for many reasons.
Experiments on animals have brought mankind not only many advantages, but also
some disadvantages.
Although many people are violently opposed to experiments on animals, they have
brought many benefits to mankind.
Experimenting on animals is a controversial issue. There are, however, many strong
arguments against such experiments.
Experimenting on animals is an issue which arouses enormous controversy. There
are, therefore, many arguments for and against, but, in my opinion, such experiments
on animals should definitely be banned.
Experimenting on animals is an issue which arouses enormous controversy among
the general public. As far as I am concerned, however, such experiments are necessary
for a number of reasons and should not be banned.

a book on writing

crime

entertajnm ent \
is accs85*'!5!6

pollution

more jobs/better prospects

Introductions:
a.

overcrowding

better health facilities

better services
living in cities (j h

isolation

greater variety of
leisure facilities

less friendly

better edicational
facilities
more exciting

cities can
be very ugly
hazards
greater variety o
entertainment
greater anonymity

a book on w ritin g

Exercise 5

3.

Euthanasia is immoral. Discuss.

How to organise and control your essay____________________

4.

Many people now try to keep fi t by jogging or working-out in a gym. What are the
dangers o f such exercise?

5.

Some people fe e l that all medical personnel should be tested fo r HIV. What would
the problems o f such a programme be? Give your own opinion.

6.

Animal organs should not be used fo r human transplants. What are the main
arguments against this statement?

7.

How can accidents in the home be prevented?

As you develop your essay, you also need to keep your ideas under control. Look at the essay
title and plan below:
What are the differenttfypeho f alternative energy?
As the world looks to a future without o il, more attention
is being focused on alternati vefource?i
of energy.

8.

War can never be justified. How fa r do you agree with this statement?

9.

Describe your pet hates.

The most commontfornftof alternative energy is


hydro power.
\
Another abundant^ffergy soiircftis the sun.
There is also, o f^ d u rse, wind power, of which the
best known(xampIbis windmills.

.....

As we have seen, there are many differentflandsi of


alternative energy.

If you examine the above plan carefully, you can see:


(i)

the focus word in the title is highlighted. This word shows the specific direction of
the essay.

(ii) the focus word in the introduction is highlighted to show the direction of the essay.
(iii) each paragraph begins with a topic sentence. In each o f these sentences, there is a
focus word which links the paragraph to the topic sentence in the introduction and
shows the direction o f the paragraph. The focus words are also highlighted.
(iv) the synonyms for the word types: sources, form , energy source, example and kinds.
These are interchangeable and help you to avoid repetition o f the word ty p elsl.
(v) the underlined phrases w hich introduce ideas in the paragraph. Students often
complain that they have ideas, but they do not know how to put them down on paper.
This inability to introduce ideas is a central problem in writing and, for the most part,
goes unrecognised. Compare this with the difficulties you have beginning essays, i.e.
writing introductions, and putting your ideas on paper.
(vi) you have a basic mechanism to help you control your writing.
Now, it is your turn to make essay plans. Below is a short list o f essay questions. Work out the
focus and the general subject o f each essay. Then write an introduction with no more than two
sentences and an essay frame for each one as above. Pay careful attention to the way you
introduce your ideas in the plan, and also to the synonyms you use. For the synonyms, you may
need to use a thesaurus.
1.
2.

Exercise 6
Hiving names to sentences___________________________________ _
This exercise focuses on the meaning of individual sentences and giving them names. You have,
in effect, been doing this already in this Section so far, perhaps w ithout realising.
Som etim es, people have difficulty w hen they are reading or w riting, because they do not
recognise the signs in a text w hich pinpoint m eaning. T he result is that there is too much
unknow n inform ation to process at one tim e. If you learn gradually to recognise text m arkers,
whether they are obvious or hidden, it will improve the amount of detail you are able to process,
and absorb. T his, in turn, will influence your w riting, as you learn to m anipulate the signposts
you need to m ark your own w riting.
Look at the sentences below. In som e cases, the sentences stand on their ow n and, in others,
they have been rem oved from a larger text. G ive a nam e to each sentence (e.g. a general
statem ent, a topic sentence, a fact, a suggestion) and give a reason fo r your answer. Some
sentences have m ore than one nam e.
Example:
Water boils at 1001C.
The sentence is a fact. Note the use of the Present Simple, boils, which is used to express a fact.
1.

The sun rises in the East and sets in the West.

2.

I f only you had come a little bit sooner!

3.

My main argument fo r the ban is that personal stereos are a nuisance to all
passengers.

4.

The main argument fo r the ban is that personal stereos are a nuisance to all
passengers.

5.

Such a policy could, I feel, take quite a fe w young people o ff the streets.

Discuss the measures to reduce obesity in rich countries.

6.

Such a policy would, I feel, take quite a fe w young people o ff the streets.

Euthanasia is immoral. Discuss your opinion.

7. Such a policy will. 1feel, take quite a fe w young people o ff the streets.
8. These properties could even be renovated by the homeless themselves.

a book on writing

a book on w ritin g

9. The most important advantage is the safety o f the fo o d .

u.

introducing the general subject of pollution

10. As a result, Antarctica w ill be saved fo r future generations.

b.

a topic sentence

11. The law might be difficult to enforce.

c.

a proposal

d.

an organising sentence

1.

12. He might have told you about the proposed changes.

u.

introducing the general subject of pollution

13. He might have told you about the proposed changes!

b.

a topic sentence

14. Shaniqua prom ised to come.

c.

a proposal

d.

an organising sentence

2.

15. For example, now it is possible to keep people alive on m achines fo r a considerable
time.

3.

Exercise 7
4.

Naming sentences in a paragraph


This exercise looks at the meaning o f sentences as they relate to each other in a continuous text.
In other words, you are going to look at coherence in writing a passage.

5.
Read the first two paragraphs o f the essay title below. As you read, think about the relationship
between the sentences. Then do the exercise which follows.

W hat measures do you think should be taken to reduce pollution?

6.

(1) The very survival o f all living things on our planet is now under threat from
pollution. (2) In my opinion, however, there are a number o f very effective measures
that can be taken to remedy the situation.
(3) The introduction of a carbon tax, i.e. a tax on coal and oil products, such as plastics,
petrol and fuel for domestic and industrial consum ption, is, I feel, the most important
measure. (4) Such a tax would have a number o f benefits. (5) First o f all, the reduction
in the consumption o f fuel would give us fresher air to breathe. (6) At the same time,
it could raise money far cleaning up the environment and make the general public more
conscious o f pollution. (7) H aving said th at, how ever, this tax w ould be rath er
unpopular among the general public, as it w ould reduce their spending power. (8)
Moreover, there would be a strong industrial lobby against it because of the extra costs
and, thirdly, the government would be against it, as it would result in increased inflation.
(9) So politicians w ould not support such a measure. (10) N evertheless, I strongly
believe that a carbon tax is an essential step in the fight against pollution.

7.

8.

9.

On the opposite page are ten multiple choice questions with four alternatives.
10.
Read the passage again and decide which alternatives best describe the purpose of each sentence
and why the others are not suitable. In same cases, more than one alternative may be correct.

10

a book on writing

a.

introducing the topic o f the paragraph

b.

a proposal

c.

a tentative proposal

d.

expanding the word measures in sentence 2

a.

a development of the previous sentence

b.

a conclusion

c.

a result

d.

a recommendation

a.
b.

a result
an explanation o f the organising word: benefits

c.

an expansion of the previous sentence

d.

a suggestion

a.

a result

b.

an explanation of the organising word: benefits

c.

an expansion o f the previous sentence

d.

a suggestion

a.

a reservation

b.

a suggestion

c.

a result

d.

a contrast

a.

a conclusion

b.

a recommendation

c.

a cause

d.

additional reservations and reasons

a.

a tentative result

b.

an example

c.

a generalisation

d.

a conclusion of sentences 7 and 8

a.

a contrast

b.

an opinion

c.

an example

d.

a conclusion for the whole paragraph

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li

i
function list

Exercise 8
Awareness of coherence in a paragraph

On the page opposite, there is a list o f words and phrases to describe the purpose or function o f
each sentence. Study the list and decide which purpose or function describes each sentence.
Note that a sentence may have more than one function.

Experiments on animals should be banned. What is your opinion?


(I) Experiments on animals may have contributed enormously to the
welfare of the human race. (2) Nevertheless, I personally feel that such
experiments are totally unacceptable for many reasons.

12

a book on writing

c. supplying background information


d. giving an example
e. an explanation
f. an argument against animal experiments
g. a topic sentence for the essay
h. an organising sentence
i. a concession

k. suggestions
1. an opinion
nt. an expansion of the word reasons
n. introducing the general subject of the essay
o. an argument for animal experiments

111 o u t u 11

(II) Another argument against is that animals also have rights.

b. an expansion of the previous sentence

j. alternative solutions

(3) By far the most important reason is the suffering that animals have
to endure during tests. (4) Every year, many thousands of innocent
creatures are used in laboratory experiments. (5) Cosmetics companies,
for instance, test many of their products on rabbits and dogs to make
sure they are safe for humans. (6) Such testing, however, means that
harmless animals have to endure appalling pain and torture for the
vanity of human beings. (7) Surely, the cosmetics industry should use
other techniques now available, like computer models; or, instead, they
could develop new methods. (8) The main counter argument is that a
human life is more important than that of an animal. (9) Furthermore,
the countless lives saved by animal experiments cannot be overlooked.
(10) Still, in my opinion, experiments on animals do not justify the
suffering caused to innocent creatures.

ii n 11

Below is the beginning o f an essay. Read the text carefully and, while you are doing so, keep in
mind what you learnt in the previous two exercises. Think specifically about the coherence in
the text.

a. a conclusion

p. a contrast
q. introducing the focus or topic of a paragraph
r. introducing a reason

Reminder
Write yctur answers on a separate sheet for all the exercises so that you can repeat
them.

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13

Exercise 9

a. There are, however, many arguments for and against banning


blood sports.

Organising a paragraph by questions


In this exercise, you are going to look at some o f the thought processes involved in writing a
text. Read the instructions below.
Instructions:
1.

Imagine that you have to write an essay on the following title:


All blood sports should be banned. Discuss the main arguments fo r this statement
and then give your own opinion.

2.

Imagine that you are writing the introduction and the first argument for the above
essay title.

3. Imagine that the questions below are your own.


4. Read the questions one at a time.

b. In this instance, an innocent animal is chased by men and women


on horses and by a pack of dogs. When the poor creature is trapped,
it is then inhumanely killed and may even be viciously torn to
pieces by the dogs.
c. Consequently, peoples tolerance of brutality is increased and
other violent activities, including crime, are encouraged.
d. As far as I am concerned, sports are quite civilised.
e. There are, however, many reasons why blood sports should be
made illegal.
f.

5. Match each question with an answer from the jum bled text on the opposite page.
6. Answer the questions in sequence.

Every year many thousands of helpless animals and birds are killed
in this country, not primarily for food, but for pleasure.

g. Finally, blood sports cannot really be considered as sport at all and


are a waste of time.

Three o f the sentences opposite do not match any o f the questions.

h . Fox-hunting is probably the best example of the sheer brutality of


such entertainment.

1. The first statement in the essay title above is written in such a way
that it will create a discussion, and is, therefore, controversial. As
a starting point, can I write a general statement about blood spoils
to include this idea?
2.

How many arguments are there supporting a ban on blood sports?

3.

What is the main reason for banning blood sports?

4.

Can I give some background information about thenumbers of


helpless creatures killed for pleasure each year?

5. What do people think about blood sports? Are they barbaric/


uncivilised?
6. There must surely be many examples to support this view. Can I
give one?

i.

For my part, after considering the arguments above, I feel there


can be no justification whatsoever for allowing blood sports to
continue.

j.

Few issues arouse more bitter controversy than attempts to ban


hunting animals for sport.

k. To many people, this practice is barbaric, because innocent


animals are tortured and killed for the amusement and gratification
of human beings.
1. The most obvious justification for the ban is that blood sports such
as fo x -h u n tin g , shooting birds and, in fact, any form of
game-hunting, are uncivilised.

7. Can I explain this example more fully?

14

8.

What does such cruelty do to people in general?

9.

Can I draw a personal conclusion from this?

a book on writing

book on w ritin g

15

Exercise 10

Exercise 11
Creating questions for organising a text

More questions for organising


Look at the text below and the list of jum bled questions which follow. Mulch nu h qtu Hue
a sentence in the text.

The responsibility for reducing juvenile crime in the UK lies as much with paicnh and
teachers as with the government. Discuss.
(1) Crime committed by young people in the UK is an ever-increasing problem (2>
Although there is some suggestion that the governm ent should take the lead in reducing
juvenile crime by. say, introducing more severe forms o f punishm ent, parents and
teachers certainly have a greater role to play in this process.
(3) Statistics show that young offenders frequently come from unstable, uncaring ot
violent family backgrounds. (4) A comfortable family environment is, therefore, one
o f the most important factors in helping to reduce crime committed by the young. (5)
It is obviously the parents responsibility to teach and bring up their children to follow
the law and to behave as respected members o f our society. (6) O f course, not every
family can create the ideal surroundings for educating their children. (7) In that case,
teachers could share the burden of teaching young people how and why they should
obey rules. (8) The government, of course, also has a very important part to play. (9)
It is surely the states role to provide the environment necessary for a stable, caring
society.

Q uestions

16

a.

Is it possible fo r all fam ilies to create an appropriate environment fo r their children?

b.

Has the government any role to play? I f so, how great?

c.

What are the responsibilities o f parents?

d.

What is the governm ents role specifically?

e.

What is the rate o f juvenile crime in the United Kingdom at the moment?

f.

What do the statistics say about juvenile crime in the UK?

g.

I f this is so, what is the m ost important fa cto r in helping to reduce juvenile crime?

h.

Who else could share the burden i f parents cannot do it all themselves?

i.

Which o f the two groups, parents and teachers or the government, has the greater
role to play?

The text below is part o f an essay written by a student. Read through the passage quickly. Then
read it again, carefully, and decide what questions the writer asked him self to develop the essay.
Write your questions, in full, on a piece of paper.

What would you do to improve the lot of the elderly in this country?
The UK, like other countries in Europe, has an increasingly ageing
population, yet it is a pity that the elderly are not properly looked after
or cared for. There are many ways, however, in which the lot of elderly
people in this country can be improved.
The first step that needs to be taken is to improve the living conditions
of all old people. According to statistics, there are over one million
dwellings which have been declared unfit for habitation. Out of these,
at least half a million are occupied by the elderly. Special houses
should, therefore, be built, which are cheap, and designed in such a way
that they are easily accessible. By this I mean, they ought to have special
provision for those who have joint problems or difficulty in walking.
Moreover, all the basic amenities should be nearby, so that the old will
not have any trouble purchasing their food and other articles of daily
use. The provision of adequate heating is a further improvement that
could be made. These homes should be provided with proper heating
facilities, as the elderly are susceptible to cold. It is estimated that
hundreds of people who are old and frail die of hypothermia in their
homes each winter.
Another area which requires attention is food.

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17

Exercise 12

Exercise 13

The sequence of tenses

Making choices

Verbs also reflect and reinforce the relationships between sentences in a text.

Read the following essay title:


Drug addiction among young people in the UK is daily becoming more and more
serious. How, in your opinion, should the problem be tackled?

In the passage below, choose the correct verb form from the alternatives given to fit the
relationship between the sentences. Decide also why the other alternatives are not suitable.

Now read through the Maze below. At each number choose the correct sentence to develop the
first paragraph o f the above essay title. The sentences are in the correct order.

Relations between different countries are now better than they have
been for many years. Even so, there is a lot of tension in the world.
W hat do you think governments should do to relieve this tension?
In my opinion, the tension in the world [1 comes/is comingJ from
ignorance and the lack of contact between different people and com
munities. To overcome this situation, there [2 is/are/would be J much
that the international community can do. First of all, I [3 am think
ing/think| governments [4 should/would/might] encourage their peo
ple, especially young people, to learn more languages. This [5 would
bring about/might bring about/brings about] closer contact between
different cultures and people. For example, at the moment many
countries [6 would give/will give/should give/give] scholarships to
enable people from other countries to study their languages. Most of
these scholarships are for adults, but they [7 would usefully be/could
usefully be/are usefully] extended to cover school children, or rather
groups of school children.
Second, there [8 could/would/might] be more informal sporting events.
F o r e x a m p le, sp o rts o rg a n isa tio n s in d iffe re n t c o u n tries
[9 could/would/might] organise regional and international events on an
amateur basis. Already, we [10 are having/have/do have] the Olympic
Games, but, worthy though they are, they [11 have become/would
become/could become] too political or too competitive. More informal
sports meetings, however, in the true spirit of the Olympic Games
[12 would go/go] some way to bringing people from all over the world
together.

Drug addiction among the young in the UK is. unfortunately, on the increase.
B
A
The problem, in my opinion, comes
2. The problem, however, is not
not just from the break-up of the
insurmountable, if it is approached
family, but from other sources as well.
realistically.
1.

3.

Peer group pressure is. I feel, one of the


most likely causes of addiction among
young people.

In my opinion, the most effective


method to combat drug addiction
among young people is through health
education.

4.

Such education can be divided roughly into


two broad categories, namely health
education in school and out of school.

What often happens here is that


youngsters start playing around with
drugs, because they see their friends
taking them.

5.

At school, children and teenagers can be


shown the dangers of drug addiction in
health education classes.

They do not want to be left out or, as is


frequently the case, taking drugs
becomes a kind of badge of acceptance
within a group.

6. Then, if someone does not do what the


others in the group are doing, they may
be ostracised or cut off by their friends.

The older pupils could do projects on


addiction; watch videos on the topic;
speak to ex-addicts, and so on.

7.

All one has to do is to look at the


prevalence of smoking among
youngsters to realise the extent o f the
danger from such pressure.

Education outside the school could take the


form o f advertising on television and the
radio, as well as in magazines aimed at
young people.

8. The advertisers could use well-known


figures that young people admire, and
are likely to listen to, like pop stars and
footballers.

Money is another cause of addiction.

9. Nowadays, the younger generation have


more pocket money and are able to earn
quite a bit from part-time jobs.

In this way, drug addiction would then


be prevented before it starts.

10. Thus, when something novel like drugs


comes their way, they can often afford to
try it out, at least once.

18

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19

A chaos maze

In Rogers English class recently, he and his fellow students had a


lively discussion about whether intelligence is inherited or not.
During the debate, Roger supported the opinion that it is impossible
to separate the inheritance from the environmental factors when
discussing intelligence.
One student in the pro-inheritance group raised the point that there
are many examples of people who are very gifted and who rise to
the top no m atter what happens. This was an argument which
Rogers group could not disagree with.
Roger, however, also raised the point that there are many talented
people, but, without the right environment and influences, they are
held back. He then observed that intelligent parents tend to encour
age their children and provide an environment favourable to devel
opment.
He went on to quote examples of families where the parents are not
considered generally to be bright, yet their children are top of the
class at school. Conversely, as he also mentioned, there are students
who are not very good academically, but whose parents are both in
intellectually demanding professions.
At the end of the lesson, the teacher asked the class to express their
views in an essay entitled:
Is intelligence inherited?

Bearing in mind the opinion of R oger's group, choose sentences opposite that would make up
the first paragraph o f his essay. You may use only eight o f the sentences to reflect the points
above. Text number 14 is the third sentence which Roger wrote.

20

a book on writing

I3yI5!5uIi5u5I5aya!Syuuu5

Exercise 14

I . All this leads me to conclude that the


interplay betw een environm ental and
hereditary factors is crucial in the
d evelopm ent o f hum an intelligence.

2. Intelligence is very difficult to


m easure, but, if we look at the issue
carefully, w e can identify certain
criteria for assessm ent.

3. In oth er w ords,intelligent parent m ean


intelligent children.

4. N evertheless, there are countless


others w ho are talented, but w ithout
the right environm ent and influences
they do not realise their full potential

5.

For exam ple, m ost professional fam ilies


produce children w ho are very
successful and follow a professional
career.

7. b o oking at the issue from another angle,


there arc m any intelligent children w ho
do not have intelligent parents, and vice
versa.
9. Som e people rightly feel that intelligence
depends solely on hereditary factors.

6. Further, surely parents w ho are


intelligent and are successful are
m ore likely to try to provide an
environm ent w hich nurtures the
developm ent o f their children.
8. T his gives rise to the statem ent that
doctors are born, not m ade.

10. I accept that there are som e people


w ho are very talented and they
succeed no m atter w hat happens.

11. 1low ever, I personally believe that


intelligence is based on a m ixture o f
both hereditary and environm ental
factors.

12. A n exam ple o f this is fam ilies where


the parents and children are doctors.

13. The debate about w hether intelligence is


inherited has been raging for quite som e
tim e.

14. In fact, these factors are so


inextricably interlinked that it is
im possible to separate them .

15. In other w ords, they believe that people


in certain professions, like m usicians,
teachers, doctors, etc., are born, not
m ade.

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21

SECTION 2

a b o o k on writing

a b o o k o n w ritin g

23

Contents
Page

a book on writing

15.

Sentence relationships - knowledge check 1 ................... 26

16.

Sentence relationships - knowledge check 2 ................... 27

17.

Some areas of co n fu sio n .................................................... 28

18.

Split tex ts...............................................................................30

19.

Lost connecting words and phrases................................... 31

20.

Sentence relationships in a te x t......................................... 32

2 1.

Text with g a p s ...................................................................... 34

22.

Text with no g a p s .................................................................35

23.

Reference with synonym s.................................................. 36

24.

More reference with synonym s..........................................37

25.

Words and phrases that are not exactly c o rrect............... 38

26.

The definite article as a connecting word ......................... 39

27.

The articles: fill the g a p s .................................................... 40

28.

Reference awareness and connections in a t e x t .............. 41

29.

Awareness of old/new information in a sentence: 1 .........42

30.

Awareness of old/new information in a sentence: 2 .........42

31.

C ontradictions...................................................................... 44

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25

Sentence relationships - knowledge check 1


As you are writing, it is worth bearing in mind that it helps your readers if they can see clearly
the relationship between your sentences. Quite often you can show this relationship with parliculm
joining words or phrases. Not only are you then guiding the reader through your thoughts in
written form, but you are also directing yourself.
In this exercise, you are going to test how much you know about some basic connecting devices,
or text markers.
Answer the questions below as far as you can. Do not expect to know all the answers. One aim
of this exercise is to help you check and then organise your knowledge.
Avoid writing in the book so that you can do the exercise several tim es, if necessary.

1. To connect sentences you can use basically two types o f connecting words or phrases:
adverbs and conjunctions. In the list below, which words are adverbs and which
conjunctions?
while, and, besides, consequently, moreover, although, if, where, when, but, however,
though, thus, what is more.
2. What is the difference between an adverb which links sentences and a conjunction?
3. W hich o f the two sentences below is correct?
(a) The steps that have been taken are admirable, but they m ay be too late to do
any good.
(b) The steps that have been taken are admirable, however they may be too late to
do any good.
4. Is the text below correct?
The steps that have been taken are admirable.
But they may be too late to do any good.
5. W hat is the difference between although and but?
6. W hat is the difference between yt and but?
7. In the list below which word or phrase is the odd one out?
similarly, furtherm ore, on the other hand, moreover, in addition, what is more.
8. W hen can you use much as to link sentences together?
9. W hich is the odd one out:
such as, like, namely, fo r example?
10.

There is a problem in the text below. W hat is it?


Take rugby, fo r example, it is also a sport which can cause considerable injury.

26

a book on writing

s B o n n m s n n t u m n n

Exercise 15

Exercise 16
Sentence relationships - knowledge check 2
This exercise is also a test of your knowledge of basic text markers, which help to lead both
you and the reader through your writing.
Answer the questions below as far as you can. Again, do not expect to know all the answers;
the exercise is to help you check and organise your knowledge.
Avoid writing in the book so that you can do the exercise several times, if necessary.

1.

I t s n o t e a sy to d e a l w ith a situ a tio n like th is. I t s a b it m u ch , th o u g h , to


p u t a ll th is p ressu re on y o u r fr ie n d s .
Is the w o rd th o u g h in th e seco n d sen ten ce an ad v erb o r a co n ju n c tio n ?

2.

E x p lain th e c o n n e c tio n b etw e e n the th ree se n ten ces b elo w . T h e th ird


se n ten ce is a lso u n fin ish e d ; fill the gap w ith o n e w ord.
A m a n a p p e a re d ro u n d the c o rn e r a n d w a lk e d b risk ly a lo n g the street.
T he m a n s lo p p e d su d d e n ly a n d w as a b o u t to e n te r a s h o p .
door
w a s o p en , a n d s o ........

3.

T h e te x t b elo w is not w ell c o n n ected . W h ere d o es th e p ro b le m lie an d


can you c o rre c t it?
A n o th e r rea so n w h y is th a t a lc o h o l a d v e rtise m e n ts are re sp o n sib le f o r a
la rg e n u m b e r o f h ea lth p ro b le m s . In fa c t, a lc o h o l a d v e rtise m e n ts ca u se
m illio n s o f d e a th s in a n y o n e year.

4.

U se th e te x ts b elo w to ex p lain th e d iffe re n c e b e tw e e n in the e n d an d


finally.
(a)

A t fir s t, sh e w as u seless a t d rivin g , but, in the end, sh e b e c a m e a


very g o o d driver.

(b)

F irst, he b o u g h t a ll th e d eco ra tin g eq u ip m e n t he n e e d e d . N e x t, he


w a s h e d d o w n th e w a lls a n d , th e n , h e p a in te d th e m . F in a lly , he
c le a r e d up the m ess.

(c)

F irst, re a d a ll the q u e stio n s v e ry ca refu lly. S eco n d , c h e c k h o w m a n y


q u e stio n s y o u h a v e to a n sw e r; a n d , fin a lly , w rite o n ly the n u m b e r
o f w ords required.

5.

W hat d o the fo llo w in g w o rd s and p h rases h a v e in co m m o n :


s o l th erefo re!a s a re su lt/a s a co n seq u en c e !a c c o rd in g ly /c o n se q u e n tly !
n o w /th e n /b e c a u se o f th is/th a t/th u s /h e n c e /fo r th is/th a t reason

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27

6 . L o o k at th e se n te n c e s below . In w h ic h se n te n c e is th e u se o f o th e rw ise
co rrect?
(a) T his m a tte r
p ro b le m s in
(b) T his m a tte r
p ro b le m s in

n e e d s to be e x a m in e d ca re fu lly ; o th e rw ise , th ere w ill be


th e fu tu r e .
n e e d s to b e e x a m in e d ca refu lly, o th e rw ise th ere w ill be
th e fu tu r e .

7 . W h a t is th e d iffe re n c e b e tw ee n d e sp ite an d in sp ite o f an d a lth o u g h . Join


the tw o sen ten c e s b e lo w to sh o w th e d iffe re n ce .
H e p la y e d a m a jo r ro le in th e p e a c e p r o c e s s . H is a c h ie v e m e n t w e n t
u n reco g n ised .
8. There are a lo t o f m e a su re s ca n b e in tro d u c ed to re m ed y th e situ a tio n .
W h a t is w ro n g w ith th is sen te n ce ?

2a. T h e arg u m e n ts fo r re strictio n s


o n gun o w n e rsh ip a re , as w e
h a v e se e n , o v e rw h e lm in g .
T h e re fo re , th e law sh o u ld be

2 b. T h e arg u m en ts fo r restric tio n s on


gun o w n ersh ip are, as w e have
seen , o v e rw h e lm in g , th e re fo re ,
th e law sh o u ld be ch an g ed .

changed.
3a. A lth o u g h you have been
e x p re ssly fo rb id d e n to leav e

3b.

b e fo re 3 p m , yet you c o n tin u e

d o so.

to do so.
4 a . P lan tin g trees in cities w ill
m ak e the e n v iro n m e n t m o re
p leasan t to live in. B e sid e , it
w ill m ak e th e a ir c le a n e r as

A lth o u g h you h av e been


ex p ressly fo rb id d en to leav e
b efo re 3 p m , b u t you co n tin u e to

4b.

P la n tin g trees in citie s w ill m ak e


the e n v iro n m e n t m o re p le a sa n t to
liv e in. B e sid e s , it w ill m ak e the
a ir c le a n e r as w ell.

w ell.

9. W h a t is the d iffe re n c e b e tw e e n first an d at firs t?


10. In the e x tra c t b elo w , th e w o rd A n o th e r te lls y o u th a t th is is th e seco n d
su b ject u n d e r d isc u ssio n . W h ic h n o u n o r n o u n s c a n y o u p u t in th e sp ace
b elo w ?
A n o th e r d e lic a te ____________ n e e d s to b e c o n sid e re d h e re: a t w h a t a g e
ch ild ren sh o u ld b e g iv e n in fo rm a tio n a b o u t se x . To m a n y p e o p le , g ivin g
su ch in fo rm a tio n a t an ea rly a g e is m u ch to o d a n g e ro u s.

5 a. M an y im p ro v em en ts h av e

5b.

6 a. Ja n e an d D iv a got u p e arly so

M a n y im p ro v e m e n ts h a v e been
m ad e to the in fra stru c tu re , ev en
so m o re h as y et to be d o n e.

b een m ad e to the
in fra stru c tu re . E v en so , m ore
has yet to b e d o n e.

6 b. Jan e an d D iv a got up early , so


th ey w o u ld be ab le to c a tc h the

th e y w o u ld be able to catc h
th e first train .

first train .
B ec a u se the talk s on n u c le a r
d isa rm a m e n t w e re su c c e ssfu l, w e
can n o w lo o k fo rw a rd to a m ore

7b.

Exercise 17

7 a. A lth o u g h th e talk s on n u c le a r
d isa rm a m e n t w ere su c c e ssfu l,
w e can n o w lo o k fo rw a rd to a
m o re re la x e d w o rld .

Some areas of confusion

8 a. M u ch as I sy m p a th ise w ith

8b. E v e n I sy m p ath ise w ith th is

From the last two exercises, you have probably realised that you do, in fact, know most connecting
words and phrases. However, you may have discovered that there is often some vital information,
about even very common connecting devices, o f which you are not aware. So, when it comes to
putting these linking words into a text, you may find it difficult to use them correctly.
This exercise looks at a few areas where students are sometimes confused. In each pair o f
sentences below, one sentence is correct and the other is wrong. Decide which answer is correct
and why.

l a . T h e g o v e rn m e n t tig h te n e d the
law s on c e n so rsh ip , b e c a u se th e
m e d ia c o u ld be b ro u g h t u n d e r
stric te r co n tro l.

lb . S o th at th e m e d ia c o u ld be
b ro u g h t u n d e r stric te r c o n tro l,
th e g o v e rn m e n t tig h te n e d the
law s on c e n so rsh ip .

a book on writing

p o sitio n , I c an n o t ac c e p t that
e u th a n a sia is really the answ er.

th is p o sitio n , I c a n n o t ac c e p t
th at e u th a n a sia is really the
an sw er.
9 a. T h e re are fo u r m ain sk ills in
la n g u a g e le a rn in g , lik e,
sp e a k in g , liste n in g , re ad in g
and w ritin g .

9b.

T h e re are fo u r m ain sk ills in


la n g u ag e le a rn in g , n am ely :
sp e a k in g , liste n in g , re a d in g and
w ritin g .

lO a.S om e p e o p le , n am ely
A ris to tle , L e o n ard o da V inci
an d E in ste in , have
c o n trib u te d m uch to the
d e v e lo p m e n t o f m an k in d .

10b. S o m e p e o p le , lik e A risto tle ,


L e o n a rd o d a V inci and E in ste in ,
have c o n trib u te d m u ch to the
d e v e lo p m e n t o f m an k in d .

1la .H e h ad d riv en all n ig h t, so he

1 lb . H e h ad d riv en all n ig h t, th e refo re

w as tired .

28

re la x e d w o rld .

a book on w ritin g

he w as tired .

29

Exercise 18

Exercise 19
Lost connecting words and phrases

Split texts
Now you are going to look at connections in another way. M atch the text on the left with a
suitable clause or sentence on the right.
As you do the exercise, think about the relationship between the two parts o f the text.

1. D espite the fact that he arrived in

a.

this country as a penniless


refugee,

30

that thousands o f people fled


from the area.

2. T he outbreak o f the disease


caused such a panic,

b.

that he w on the N obel Prize for


Physics.

3. N ow that m ore and m ore people


have access to the Internet,

c.

N evertheless, I cannot b ear him


personally.

4. The roads w ere jam m ed ,

d.

he w as finally arrested and sent


to prison.

5.

e.

they will be able to find their


w ay here quite easily.

6. T here is no doubt th at the law


needs to be changed

f.

she is able to understand the


problem s that h er students face.

7. I adm ire him as a politician.

g-

so that people w ith physical


disabilities can have greater
access to all public buildings.

B eing a com petent linguist,

8. It w as such a brilliant
developm ent,

h.

the num ber o f injuries w ould


have been dram atically reduced.

9. O n account o f his violent


behaviour tow ards his w ife and
children,

i.

yet the am bulance m anaged to


reach the scene o f the accident.

10. H ad the w earing o f safety belts


been com pulsory on coaches as
well as in cars,

j-

11. In the end, he bought the


building,

k.

the am ount o f inform ation


m oving around the globe is
phenom enal.

12. Som ething needs to be done


about w ater conservation in
m any parts o f the w orld;

1.

o therw ise, there m ay well be


w ars in the near future.

13. Provided they follow the


instructions,

m.

even though it w as practically


falling dow n.

In the sentences below, the connecting words and phrases are missing. Read through the
exercise first and see if you can identify where you need to add an appropriate connector. The
punctuation will help you to decide what you need and where. Note that you can only use
connectors which the punctuation allows. Sometimes, you may be able to use more than one
item to connect the sentences.
Use only words and phrases from the list below the exercise. If, however, you feel confident
enough, try to do the exercise without using the list.
Example:
In sentence I , you have to put a connecting word at the beginning o f the sentence,
because he_ has a sm all letter. You can use W hen. Once or As soon as.

1. he had found the key, he was able to get out.


2. action had been taken sooner, this tragedy would not have occurred.
3. the exams are over, I can relax.
4. There are many things you can do to get exercise, walking, swimming, cycling, tennis
and so on.
5. a referee sees that a boxer is hurt, he should stop the fight.
6. television has had a detrimental effect on society, it has brought many benefits.
7. There are many steps can be taken to make public transport safer.
8. the law on gun ownership in the UK should be more strictly controlled is now being
seriously considered.
9. the leak is mended, the structure o f the house will be severely damaged.
10. They ate their meal quickly and left the restaurant the owner could close early.

he has m anaged to overcom e


all his difficulties.

11. Maureen teaches botany Violet teaches history.


12. the number o f car accidents is decreasing in the UK, in other countries, it is increasing.
13. The plane was delayed; the hotel was a mess and it rained most o f the time; the holiday
was a disaster.
14. the violence occurred rarely. Then over the years it became worse.

Item bank

a book on writing

if/unlcss/when/if only/like/so that/and/whether/that/at first/whereas/but/


although/howevcr/all in all/now that/since/which/as soon as/once

a book on w ritin g

31

Sentence relationships in a text_____________


This exercise will help you focus on marking the relationships between sentences in a text.
Obviously, highlighting such connections is much more complex than just joining a few sentences
or clauses together.
First of all, read the introduction and the first paragraph o f the essay below. As you are reading,
try to feel where there is a need for connecting devices to mark the sentence relationships in the
passage.
Then, use the guidelines which follow the text and write out the passage, connecting the sentences
where possible.
Avoid marking the book.

What are the arguments for and against private vehicles? What is your
opinion in this matter?
(1) Private vehicles play a key role in our lives. (2) They provide
independent transport, freedom and many jobs. (3) They cause pollu
tion, traffic jams, noise and death.
(4) Private transport, especially the car, gives us freedom to move. (5)
We no longer need to organise our lives around bus or train timetables.
(6) Many people think that their cars are indispensable machines. (7)
They cannot live without them. (8) People who live in rural areas need
private vehicles to go to towns for shopping, socialising, taking children
to schools, etc. (9) Without a car their lives would be very difficult.
(10) They would be forced to rely on infrequent public transport, if it
existed at all. (11) Many families who live in the country have one or
more cats. (12) They would be cut off from the rest of the world. (13)
For many people a car is a necessity.

32

a book on writing

tiiimiBiuuimium

Exercise 20

(Guidelines for sentence relationships

Sentences 1 and 2. You can join these sentences together; the second
sentence stales the reasons why such vehicles play an important role.
Sentence 3 shows the opposite side of the picture, so insert an adverb
that brings out the contrast. Be careful with the punctuation! You will
find in the Key that the author has added another phrase, because he
finds that the contrast is not strong enough, and because there is a
problem with the rhythm of the sentence. Can you add something
yourself to the sentence?
Sentence 4 is the first argument of your essay. Add a word or phrase to
indicate this.
Sentence 5 is a consequence of Sentence 4. Use a conjunction to join
them together.
Sentence 6 is an extension of the previous one. It states another true fact
about private vehicles. Can you add a phrase to help show this?
Sentence 7 is a result of Sentence 6 .
Sentence 8 is an example of the previous sentence.
You can join Sentences 9 and 10 with a simple conjunction that
indicates the two are of the same value.
Sentence 11 is a consequence.
Can you think of an adverb to join Sentence 12 to the previous one?
Use a word that means or else. Be careful with the punctuation.
S e n ten ce 13 is a co n c lu sio n .

a book on w ritin g

33

Text with gaps


You are now going to connect the sentences in a text by inserting suitable words and phrases,
but, this tim e, you will have no help.
A.

Look at the items in the following list:


1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.

Further
and consequently AIDS
Take the threat of AIDS, for example
In my opinion
especially young girls
First of all, I believe
To me, however

8.
9.
10.
11.

To put it another way


Thirdly
Admittedly
whether sex education should
be introduced
12. Even so, I strongly believe that it needs
13. W hat is more

Now read the passage below and write the numbers o f the items from the list in the appropriate
blanks. You may use each item once only.

B.

W hat is the title of the essay?

The issue o f
(a)
for quite some ti m e .
curriculum at this level.

in all schools at secondary level has been an on-going debate


(b)
, such education is a necessary part o f the

(c)-------pupils need be given lessons on sex education, just like any other field
o f study
(d)-------- , they should not be protected from this subject, as it is one of
the most important matters in our everyday life
(e)
Sex education would
go a long way in preventing the spread o f the HIV v iru s,
(f)_____ , among the
younger generation.
(g)_____ , there may be some reticence, and even antago
nism, among certain groups o f people, as to the way and the degree this subject is
presented
(h)
to be part of the curriculum.
(i)------- , we have to remember what other hazards ignorance about sex may
bring for pupils, at secondary sc h o o l,
(j)______
(k)_____ , it is better to
know everything about this taboo subject than to seek knowledge when it is too late,
for example in the case o f unwanted pregnancies.

5 5 1 5 515 5 52 3 5 5 2 55 5 1

Exercise 21

As we can see, there are many aiguments to support giving lessons in sex education at
secondary school.

34

a book on writing

1 SIIU

(1)------- , we all know that young people are especially vulnerable to stress as
regards sex. Proper education would. I feel, help to prevent frustration in certain
circum stances
(m)_____ , it may also stop young people from seeking nonscientific ways o f solving their problems, and halt the development o f superstition.

Exercise 22
Text with no gaps
f rom Iixerciscs 15 to 2 1, you have been concentrating on connecting words and phrases which
contribute to (he texture o f what you write. This exercise attempts to focus your attention more
on this quality to help you improve your writing. Below are the introduction and first two
paragraphs o f an essay on Knowledge is power. D iscuss. The text is grammatically correct, but
it is not well connected. Put the numbers which relate to the words and phrases below into the
most appropriate place in the text, as in the two examples. The punctuation will help you to
complete the exercise. If you are not able to put in all the words and phrases in the first few
attempts, use the Key to help you.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.

Work is another obvious area where


knowledge bestows power.
In a similar way,
For example.
In fact, in all areas of life,
Looking at the matter from another angle,
above
When the successful candidate finally
starts working,
, thus,

Few people would deny the validity o f th e


a considerable force.

9. so that
10. A very good example is the field of
politics.
11. At the interview itself.
12. , for instance,
13. are then more likely to
14. With this power.
15. This
16. such as
17. , among other things,

saying, the power of knowledge exerts

As som e politicians have access to m any sources o f inform ation, they possess a
formidable weapon: power, they are able to control the lives of the general public, when
politicians want public support for a particular cause, all they have to do is put forward
the positive aspects o f their proposals and hide the negative. The public, ignorant of the
whole picture, lend their support to the politicians cause, other politicians are also
controlled, the general public and other politicians, through lack of knowledge, are at the
mercy of the politician who possesses knowledge, and power.
When someone applies for a j o b
12 the success of the application depends on the
knowledge of the person who applies, knowledge involves skills, knowing how best to
complete the application form; using the correct language; or how to write the accom
panying letter, the success o f the application will depend on the applicants display of
knowledge about the post applied for. success or failure will largely be dependent on
his/her accumulation of knowledge, he/she can deal effectively with others and not be
manipulated by them, too much.

Check your answers with the Key and correct any of the numbers. Then read the text to yourself
and try to put in the words and phrases above automatically. Repeat the exercise several times
so that you can learn to feel where there is a gap in the text.

a book on w ritin g

35

Exercise 23
Reference with synonyms

Exercise 24
More reference with synonyms

The use of synonyms to link sentences also improves the quality and texture of a passage.
W hen you are writing, synonyms help you summarise part of the previous text, and, thus, link
sentences together. Furthermore, they help you to avoid repetition and stop you from relying
over much on adverbs and conjunctions to make connections.

This exercise gives you further practice with synonyms. Read the sentences below and think of
a suitable word for each of the blanks. Note that in some cases it is possible to use more than
one word. Only this time, try to do the exercise without any help, if you can.

Below is a list o f such words that are often used to help link sentences. Put the words into the
appropriate spaces below. Note that in some cases it is possible to use more than one word. You
may also be able to think o f other words from outside the list.

As you read, try to predict which words will be translated into a synonym in the next part of the
text. Then as you choose each synonym think about the text which it looks back to. Let us take
an example from the previous exercise:
6.

solution/ entertainment/ problem/ proposal! policy/ group/ violence/ measure/ move/


idea/ situation/ ploy/ amenities/ recommendation/ fa c t/ suggestion/ crime/ damage
Try not to write the answers in your book. W hen you have compared your answers with the
Key, repeat the exercise over a period of time until the words come automatically.

a Scenes o f murder and physical assault are now commonplace on TV.


b Such entertainment/violence, unfortunately, has a negative effect on the minds
of young people.

In (a), the underlined text looks forward to both the synonyms in (b). The synonyms, in turn,
look back to the text underlined in (a).
If you cannot find a word which fits, then select one from the list on the next page.

1. Old people should be given a higher pension during winter months. This seems to be
the best possible__________to the problem.

1.

Animals are kept in appalling conditions during transport from one country to another.
S u rely ,
o f this kind cannot be tolerated in a civilised society.

2. Millions of people are dying each year because of a lack of basic medicine; a _________
that surely cannot be ignored.

2.

Violent attacks by young people are increasing alarmingly, but little is being done to
address th e
.

3. Many inner cities have been disfigured by insensitive office developments, but the
__________, I feel, is not irreparable.

3.

Poverty and ill-health are inextricably bound together, yet t h e


them does not appear to be recognised by those in power.

4. Safety belts should be made compulsory on all coaches. If t h i s __________ were


adopted, it would certainly help reduce injuries in road accidents.

4.

5. More swimming pools, leisure centres and sports clubs are being built all over the
country. Even so, there are still not e n o u g h __________ like this to satisfy demand.

In 1945, there were 100,000 vegetarians in the United Kingdom and now there are 3
million. With 2000 people changing to a meat-free diet each week, it is a _____
that is set to continue.

5.

6. Scenes o f m urder and physical a ssau lt are now com m onplace on TV. Such
__________, unfortunately, has a negative effect on the minds of young people.

Euthanasia may have to be considered as a possible solution to overpopulation in the


future; at the moment, fortunately, it is not a serio u s
.

6.

7. The Department o f Transport has decided to introduce a green tax on fuel. There are,
o f course, many people who would object to the introduction of th is __________.

One way to solve the problem would be to legalise the use of cannabis and other soft
drugs. T h is
could, o f course, prove to be rather risky.

7.

8. Making petty criminals wear electronic tags has been a failure in the United States.
Surprisingly, th e __________is being considered by the Home Office in the UK.

lie said that I should have taken up the job. If I had followed h i s
I would have been completely worn out by now.

8.

Through the media, people are now being encouraged to recycle different materials
like bottles, paper, plastic bags, etc. S u c h
doesnt always work.

9.

The Project can only go ahead, if 75% of the funding is found from the private sector.
In the present climate such a
will be difficult to fulfil.

10.

If speed limits on motorways were reduced, the number o f car accidents would fall
dramatically. This is obviously a highly desirable
.

11.

The world is in imminent danger of being destroyed by the greenhouse e ffe c t. Yet

12.

With the rising costs o f medicine, the question of whether to allocate scarce resources
to the elderly or the young is a
many hospitals now face.

9. Young people nowadays have many forms of technology to amuse them. Teachers
often disapprove of su c h __________ , as it tends to make students lazy and unable to
think for themselves.
10. Society often fails to m eet the needs o f physically handicapped people. Yet they are
a __________that obviously deserves more help.
11.

36

The government introduced the new rule while everyone's attention wasengaged
elsewhere. It was quite a c lev e r__________.

a book on writing

little is b e in g done to counter t h i s

a book on w ritin g

between

, though,

37

Below is a list o f words you can use to help link the sentences on the previous page.
disaster, outcom e, dilem m a, craze, action, advice, issue, danger, relationship,
encouragem ent, problem , cruelty, threat, trend, link, step, condition, situation,
connection, p ra c tic e s, optio n , p o licy, p red ica m en t, treatm ent, catastrophe,
requirement.

Exercise 26
The definite article as a connecting word
You have looked at joining sentences together by various means. It is now time to focus on
another linking device, the definite article.
In the exercise below, explain the use o f the articles, the/a/an. and the lack o f articles, as far as
you can. Then read the Key carefully. You may need to do the exercise several times.

Exercise 25
Words and phrases that are not exactly correct

1.

W hen you are writing, it is difficult to think about the gram mar and spelling as well as the
different connecting devices, all at the same time. However, if you can learn to control the
reference and connections in your writing, it gives you greater freedom, and more time, to
concentrate on the content and the ideas.

A man was walking slowly along a dark street of low cottages. The
street was narrow and unwelcoming. As he glanced into the alleys
between some of the cottages, the man looked quite scared.

2.

The advice you gave me was unsound.

3.

The blind may benefit from new developments in technology.

4.

The walk to Studland along the beach from the ferry takes just over
an hour.

5.

I usually hear from him twice a year.

6.

We were sitting in an old cafe. The sun was shining in a blue sky,
but it was bitterly cold. The room was very cosy and the hot
chocolate was warm and rich.

7.

Islands are romantic places and the Seychelles are no exception.

8.

The most important bee in a hive is the queen.

In this exercise, you are going to look at a mixture o f connections. Some words or phrases are
almost correct; some are completely wrong; and yet others are repetitions. Read the text below
once and then read it again, replacing, where possible, the underlined words with suitable words/
phrases. Try not to mark the text so that you can repeat the exercise.

Why are people turning more and more to alternative medicine?


Alternative, or non-orthodox, medicine is now attracting an ever-increasing number of
people. There are, (11 however, many (21 causes behind this (31 custom .
The most important argument is the publics increased awareness o f their (41 condition.
(51 The public are no longer willing to bear the mildest of pain, (6) as headaches, or
(71 bear even minor illnesses like flu. (81 On the other hand. (91 the public spare no
effort looking for help by any means available. As orthodox medicine often does not
work or needs time to work, (101 they do not hesitate to seek help from an acupuncturist
or osteopath in the hope o f better relief. ( I l l And in chronic situations, (121 namely
arthritis, headaches or backache, where (131 orthodox medicine can often do little,
some forms of (141 unorthodox medicine are favoured by an increasing number of
people.

9. In the following exercise fill the blanks with a suitable word.


10. I was set upon from behind. The attack lasted only about five
minutes, but, believe me, it seemed like a very long time.

(151 Other important reason is that (161 in contrary to orthodox medicine, non-orthodox
forms o f treatment do not usually involve much intervention. (17) They also fear being
admitted to hospital for any length of time, taking drugs or chemicals, which may do
harm . A bove all, they (18) fear operations o f any kind. (19) In ad d itio n , when
something simple promises relief, they naturally (20) switch to it.

a book on writing

a book on w ritin g

39

The articles: fill the gaps


Now you have a chance to use the information you learnt in the previous exercise to complete
a series of texts. For each blank in the texts below, decide whether you should add either a/an/thc.
or leave the space empty. Rem em ber to ask yourself the questions you learnt in the Key in
the previous exercise. Again try not to mark the text so that you can repeat the exercise.

1
advice is often difficult to accept fro m
2
friends, b u t
3
advice Samir
gave me was surprisingly helpful. The next time 1 n e e d
4
help I shall know where
to go.

7__ discipline; maybe its


5------ old people always think th a t_6______young la c k
b ecau se
8
young people are free fr o m
9
shackles that h in d ered
10
previous generations.

11
first time she saw him she was only thirteen. His curly auburn hair and sailors
uniform were what did it
12
year later she was out deliverin g ___ 13___ milk on
her bicycle, when she saw him fo r
14
second time. He was also o n
13
bike.
If you are going in
16
opposite directions,
17
bicycles are not very convenient
for starting
18
love affair!

19

whales are i n

20

danger of becoming extinct.

Sarah and Matty w e r e


24
great friends. W henever Sarah went out to see her at
25
big house, Matty would always make her tea i n
26
large kitchen. Then,
if Lady Margaret were not around, they would slide d o w n
27
banisters o n
28___
staircase i n
29
front entrance hall. How difficult it is, when you are young, to resist
30
banisters, especially if they look dangerous!

31

On

40

arrival a t

32

a irp o rt,

G iants Causeway is one o f

35

33

first thing he did was phone home.

most beautiful places in

36

Europe.

a book on writing

m utnm um m nut

Exercise 27

Exercise 28
Reference awareness and connections in a text
Below is part o f an article for a school magazine on: Life in 100 yea rs time; a personal view.
Read the texl through carefully; you will see that the passage is not very well connected.
Just as it would have been difficult to predict, a hundred years ago, life in this century, so
now it is not easy to say what life is going to be like in 100 years time.
First of all, I must say that I think life will be very different in many ways by the year 2096.
People will be living on other planets, perhaps even on planets outside the solar system.
Obviously, therefore, travelling will be incredibly sophisticated and people will be able to
travel vast distances in space; perhaps, even in a matter of seconds.
Secondly, communication is also bound to be so sophisticated, that people will be able to
communicate by telepathy. A nother possibility is that people may be able to communicate
visually with each other w herever they are. For example, people will be able to send
holographic messages to each other; these holographic messages will be able to be stored
for play back later, just as answering machines do today.
Thirdly, a planet is certain to be free from disease and, as a consequence, we will have a
longer lifespan. M any people may fear the introduction of euthanasia as the earth becomes
more crowded, but, if it is introduced, I believe that it will be only a temporary measure, as
more and more men and women will be needed to colonise other worlds.
Now try to improve the article by completing the following exercise:

1.

The writer has repeated certain words and phrases. Use the synonyms below, in the
order they occur in the list, to improve the text.
(a) the m ajor events that have taken place; (b) our lives; (c) worlds; (d) cover; (el
highly developed; (f) we; (g) everyone; (It) human beings; (i) one another; (j) images
For example, (c) worlds = planets in Paragraph 2.

2. Are the words and phrases below necessary in the text?


First o f all, in many ways, Secondly, Thirdly, For example, as a consequence,
3. The writer couldnt decide whether to add .therefore, to the beginning of the second
sentence in the fourth paragraph. In your opinion, is it necessary?
4.

In one place in the fourth paragraph, the indefinite article a is used instead o f the?
Why is it wrong?

5.

Note also that the writer has repeated the structure will be able to four times. W hat
other alternatives can you use in the third paragraph?

6.

Which other two structures d o es the w rite r u se to a v o id th e re p e titio n o f th e

construction w ill b e ?

a book on w ritin g

41

Exercise 29
Awareness of old/new information in a sentence: 1

M atch the two sections and you will have a complete paragraph. As you do the exercise, think
about the balance of the information in each sentence.

Not till people in the world enjoy equal standards of health care, simply
because not everyone in the world has equal access to such care.

Below is part of an article entitled Violence in our Society. The sentences o f the first paragraph
are divided into two parts. The part on the left is in the correct order, but the part on the right
is jum bled.

it. This treatment is available, because there are

This exercise helps make you aware of the organisation o f the information in a sentence.

Introduction

b. In the latter, however, there are


First of all, the rich can afford to go to

d.

What is more, those living in

c.

Second, for people living in big cities it is

f.

Thus, for poor people living in remote areas

c.

is the inability of society to tackle


the root of the problem, namely
poverty.

a.

b.

operate in isolation.

3.

Lack of discipline in the home and at


school

c.

to many different causes depending


on ones particular viewpoint.

4.

The break-up of marriages and the


increase in one-parent families

d.

is often quoted as a reason for the


disintegration o f our society.

5.

B ut without doubt the primary cause

e.

are also blam ed fo r the in creasing


violence in our lives.

6.

Poverty is often the source o f a host of


other contributory factors,

f.

like the lack of opportunity, squalor


and unemployment, to name but a
few.

7.

However, rarely does one o f the above


causes

g-

facing our society today is the


increasing incidence o f violence.

g. Poor patients, on the other hand, have to go to


u

This increase can be attributed

1. a private hospital where they are able to have better investigations


and treatment without delay.
2. a government hospital where they may encounter many difficul
ties, including long waiting lists for treatment, or even a lack of
basic supplies like bandages.

2.

One of the most pressing problems

1.

Second paragraph

3. easier to find modern treatment.

Exercise 30

4. many highly equipped hospitals available in large cities compared


with small towns.

often no hospitals at all and public transport is non-existent.

(). large urban areas have access to more specialists in different fields
with modern technology like CT scans, dialysis machines, etc.
7. access to health care is not easily available.

Read through the part of the text on the opposite page carefully. Use the connecting words and
phrases, the grammar and the sequence o f information, to help you find your way through the
text.

3.

This exercise helps you to focus on the organisation of the information in a sentence from a
different angle. Below is part o f an essay: Inequalities in health care cannot he avoided. Discuss.
The sentences of the second paragraph are divided into two. The parts indicated by letters,
which contain the text references, are jum bled, but those indicated by numbers, containing the
ideas, are in the correct order. Match the two sections o f each sentence and you will have it
complete paragraph.

Awareness of old/new information in a sentence: 2

As you do the exercise think about the relationship between the two parts o f each sentence and
how they connect.

a book on writing

a book on w ritin g
H

42

Exercise 31
Contradictions
As we have seen, it is difficult to think about the content, as well as the grammar and the
connections, when we write. It is not surprising, therefore, that we sometimes contradict ourselves
in m inor detail.
Read through the text below quickly. Then read it again carefully and find the contradictions.
Note that the first fact in the text is always true. One o f the contradictions is marked for you.

Kimberley was born in 1953 and brought up in Hackney, north London, the
only girl in a family of four boys. She had a happy childhood with parents
who were very caring and easy going. Being rather well-off, the family lived a
totally carefree life in a large, rambling house.
5

10

SECTION 3

Then, in 1972, at the age o f sixteen. Kimberley began to blossom. The plain
girl turned into a very handsome young woman, but still very much a loner.
She w asnt exactly elegant, as, coming from a poor background, she could not
afford to buy many expensive clothes.

15

She had always been a model pupil of average intelligence, but now she began
to shine in the class, especially in languages. In her first attempt at her
A -Levels, she did rather well, much to everyones surprise.

20

Kim, as she was known to her many friends, couldnt decide whether to stay in
south London, where she was born, or go to Exeter. She went to the latter,
where she studied French and Italian. She lasted only two years, as she hated
the student life in London. As part o f her course, she spent a year abroad: six
months in Moscow and six in Athens. W hen she came back to England, she
found it very difficult to settle down. Being decisive, at first, she didnt know
what to do, but gradually Kimberley found her feet.

25

44

Kimberley was quite an ordinary child, rather dull, in fact, with no real interest
in any school activity. She was very mischievous and always getting into
trouble. Her behaviour caused her parents no end o f anguish, as her other
brothers and sister were doing extremely well. At school, insects, drawing and,
o f course, boys were her main obsessions.

She started an acting career, which took off rather quickly. After a
considerable time, she had a lucky break in a comedy called Right Monkey,
about a family who bring up a baby chimpanzee. The film was a huge success.
She is now also a big hit in a romantic comedy, called Hello and Bye.

a book on writing

a book on w ritin g

45

( o u t cuts

32. F o rm al le tte r ch e c k list P a rt I ........................................................... 48

33. F o rm al letter ch e c k list P art 2 ........................................................... 49

34. F o rm al letter a n a ly s is .......................................................................... 50

35. S e q u en ce o f ten ses in a t e x t ..............................................................51

36. R eading for w r itin g .............................................................................. 52

37. F o rm al an d inform al a w a r e n e s s ...................................................... 54

38. T ra n slatio n from in fo rm al to f o r m a l ..............................................55

39. D ressin g up an in fo rm al le t te r ..........................................................56

4 0 . F o rm al to inform al tra n sla tio n .........................................................57

4 1. A writing d r ill......................................................................................... 58

a book on writing

a book on w ritin g

47

Exercise 32
Formal letter checklist Part 1

Exercise 33
Porniiil letter checklist Part 2

This exercise checks how much you know about formal letters. Read the statements below and
decide whether they are true or false.

1. Y ou can p u t y o u r n am e ab o v e y o u r ad d re ss in th e to p rig h t-h a n d corner.

This is another exercise to check how much you know about formal letters. Read the statements
below uiul decide whether they are true or false.

1. In the fo llo w in g se n te n c e , you can u se w o u ld in stead o f sh o u ld :

2. Y ou m u st n e v e r le a v e o u t p u n c tu a tio n in y o u r a d d re ss.
3. T h e d ate sh o u ld a lw a y s be im m e d ia te ly b e lo w y o u r a d d ress.

/ sliou h i b e g ra te fu l i f y o u c o u ld se n d m e a c o p y o f the report.


2.

W hen you are applying fo r a jo b , it is better to include a sum m ary o f your


c u rric u lu m vitae in th e letter.

4 . You can ab b re v ia te th e d ate as fo llo w s: 2 2 .8 .9 6 .


5. Q u o tin g th e re fe re n c e o f the p e rso n y o u are w ritin g to is e sse n tia l.

3.

You c a n n o t use c o n tra c tio n s (e.g. don t/I m /c a n t).

6 . It is alw ay s n ec e ssa ry to p u t th e n am e an d th e a d d re ss o f th e a d d re sse e

4.

H ope to h e a r from you so o n is a g o o d w ay to en d a fo rm al letter.

5.

Y ours faith fu lly , is u se d in all fo rm al letters.

on th e le ft, startin g b e lo w y o u r o w n a d d re ss.


7. Y ou m u st alw a y s g iv e th e p o sitio n o f th e p e rso n y o u are w ritin g to a fter
h is /h e r n am e in th e a d d re s s, e.g.:
M r S ingh
T he M anager

6 . You sh o u ld alw ay s say T h an k v o u /T h a n k in g v o u in ad v an ce at th e end


o f form al letters.
7.

8 . I f you do not k n o w th e a d d re sse e p erso n a lly , b u t y o u k n o w h is/h e r n am e,

It is b e tte r to p rin t y o u r n a m e a fter y o u r sig n atu re at the e n d o f th e letter.

8 . Y ou sh o u ld a v o id co llo q u ia l ex p re ssio n s, e.g . p h rasal v erb s, g e t, etc.

y o u sh o u ld still u se D e a r S ir/M a d a m to b eg in y o u r letter.

9.

9. A ll fo rm al letters sh o u ld b e g in w ith a h e a d in g o n the lin e

10 .

b elo w D e a r .........

You do not need to w rite n u m b ers in w o rd s.


W hen you use ab b rev iatio n s in a form al letter, you should w rite the w ords
in full w ith th e a b b re v ia tio n in b ra c k e ts a fte rw a rd s, e .g . th e U n ite d
K ingdom (U K t. W hen you w ant to use the phrase/nam e again in the text,
you can use the abbreviation on its ow n.

10. Y ou m u st alw ay s in d e n t the b e g in n in g o f e a ch p a ra g ra p h as fo llo w s:

11. F o rm al letters sh o u ld b e fairly n eat a n d tidy.

D e a r S ir!M a d a m ,
I sh o u ld like to a p p ly .....

12.

You m ust alw ay s u se u n lin c d paper.

11. You sh o u ld start a fo rm al le tte r by statin g w h y y o u are w ritin g , e.g.:


I am w ritin g to c o m p la in a b o u t/a p p ly f o r . ..
1 sh o u ld /w o u ld like to a p p ly f o r the j o b . . .
T h a n k y o u f o r y o u r le tte r d a te d ...
I refer to y o u r le tte r o f . ..

48

a book on writing

a book on w ritin g

49

Exercise 34
Formal letter analysis

Exercise 35
Sequence <>i~lenses in a text

In the letter below, there are a number of problem s, which relate to style and layout. Edit the
letter using the true/false checklists in Exercises 32 and 33.

The text below is part of a letter to a newspaper, stating how the writer thinks the incidence of
rape can be reduced.
In the text, there is a problem with most o f the verb forms. Look carefully at the relationships
between the sentences. Then decide what the correct verb form is. In some instances, there may
be more than one correct alternative. Before you do the exercise, you may like to repeat Exercise
12 in Section I .

2 7 S ilv e r S treet
L ondon,
S E 1 6 1CH
12/7/96.
D e a r S ir

!d&eax < S i i / a d a m ,

I m a so cial w o rk e r liv in g in L o n d o n . N o rm a lly , I d o n t w rite to


p a p e rs , b u t I feel I m u st d o so o n th is o cc a sio n .

j l . O m wxite] to e x ji x e a niij concern a f o u t t f e increasing n u m fe x


o f xafie a t t a e f s a g a in s t w o m e n in our society a n d to fia t fo x w a x d

I m u st say th at 1 d o n t ag ree w ith th e w rite rs p o in t o f view . S h e has said


th at, w ith the use o f fetal m aterial fo r tra n sp lan ts, w e are activ ely en co u rag in g
m o re a b o rtio n s . A re c e n t stu d y , th o u g h , sh o w s th at a b o u t 175,000 a b o rtio n s

som e h x o h o s a ts a f o u t f o w t f e incidence, o f xafie f l . w o u f d f e ]


xeduced.

are c a rrie d o u t leg ally e v ery y e a r in th e U K , w h ic h m e an s th a t tissu e fro m


175,000 fetal b rain s is a v ailab le fo r tra n sp la n ta tio n . D o w e th e n really need
m o re ab o rtio n s?

0 [3. a m s u g g e s tin g J tfia t the g o v e x n m e n t [4. w o u f d in c r e a s e f t f e

B y ca rry in g out th ese o p e ra tio n s, w e are h e lp in g lo a d s o f p a tie n ts su fferin g


from P a rk in so n s d ise a se . (T h ere are ab o u t 110,000 p a tie n ts su fferin g fro m
th is co n d itio n in the U K ). T h u s, w e c a n h e lp a large n u m b e r o f p eo p le lead
b etter and purposeful lives. S econdly, after the op eratio n th e patient has to take
few er d ru g s. B oth th ese facto rs w o u ld re d u c e the load on th e N H S as m illio n s
o f p o unds are spent on th e reh abilitation o f p atien ts suffering fro m P a rk in so n s
d ise a se .

fie n a ftie s fo x rafiists a n d tfia t tfe x e f5. w o u f d f e f no fiarofe once a


sentence [6. p a s s e d ] , {f J f i s f 7. s f o w s ] t f e p u f f i c tfia t th e sta te
/S. m a y f e ] sexious a f o u t f9. t a c f f e J t f i e p r o f fern o f s e x u a f a s s a u ft
on wom en. c z /ft t f e sa m e tim e , wfiife in p ris o n , se x offe nd e rs, a t
flO. f a s recent fy x e c o m m en d ed j, f l l . u n d e r g o ] fo n g - t e r m coun-

F in ally , by sto p p in g th ese o p e ra tio n s w e are a c tu a lly try in g to h alt


m ed ical re se a rc h and p ro g re ss. H o w th en can w e h o p e to k ee p u p w ith o th e r
d eveloped nations w here scientific progress is adv an cin g at an incredible pace?

seffing to f e l p tfiem. f l l . f i g f t i n g ] t f e p r o f fern tfe m s e f v e s .

1Ucfl

counseffing f l 3 . is c o n tin u in g ] a ftex t f e r e f ease o f i e x offe nd e rs,


H o p e I can g et th is le tte r p u b lish e d in y o u r paper.

then 0 [1.4. am stro n g ly f e f i e v i n g ] t f a t t f i s [15 . can

Ij e .

J one o f t f e

Y ours sin cerely ,

m o l t effective w a ys f l 6 . x e d u c e ] t f e n u m f e x o f s e x u a f a s s a u f ts on
wom en.

50

a book on writing

cs=

a book on w ritin g

51

Exercise 36
Reading for writing
D e a r S ir/M a d a m ,
One way of improving your writing is to learn to absorb the oiganisation o f a text as you read.
Many of the exercises you have done up to now have, in fact, been teaching you how to do just
this.
The aim of this exercise is specifically to make you read a text actively and to revise some
points you have already looked at.

Read through the questions below and read the text on the opposite page. Then answer the
questions and check your answer with the Key.

1. In line 1, is it p o ssib le to start th e le tte r 1 w rite in ste ad o f 1 am w ritin g ?


2. W h y is it not p o ssib le to re p lace th e first se n te n c e w ith th e fo llo w in g : I
re a d an article in v o u r n e w sp a p e r o n A ID S o n 15 A u g u s t.?

10

3. W h ich o f th e fo llo w in g w o rd s c o u ld re p la c e th e w o rd o p in io n in line 1:


v iew s/c o n c e rn /b e lie f/fe a rs?
4 . In line 3, can y o u w rite th e d ate as fo llo w s: 1 5/8/96?
5. In lin es 4 /5 . the c la u se A s a d o c to r w h o h as sp e n t six m o n th s in re search
on A ID S c o u ld be left o u t w ith o u t affe c tin g the te x t in an y w ay. D o you

15

ag ree w ith this state m e n t? R e a d th e in tro d u c tio n , if n e ce ssary sev eral


tim e s, w ith an d w ith o u t th e p h rase.

6 . D o you th in k the w rite r sh o u ld start th e sec o n d p a ra g ra p h w ith a p h rase


like: F irst o f all, F irstly , F irst? G iv e re a so n s fo r y o u r an sw er.

20

7. Y ou can rep lac e T h is in lin e 8 w ith It. Is th is tru e? G iv e y o u r re a so n s.


C an you th in k o f an y o th e r w ay to co n n e c t th e tw o se n te n c e s?
fo r y o u r answ er.

10. W h a t o th e r w o rd s/p h ra se s can re p la c e th e w o rd T h e re fo re in line 15?


A lso , is the w o rd T h e re fo re really n e c essary here?

T h e w rite r stated th at A ID S is a p lag u e sen t to th o se w h o h a v e an


im m oral life. T h is is n o n sen se. I w o u ld lik e to ask the a u th o r how
w o u ld he ex p la in , fro m h is e x trem ely n arro w p o in t o f v iew , th e
tra n sm issio n o f th e H u m an Im m u n o d e fic ie n c y V irus (H IV ) to
h a e m o p h ilia p atien ts. M o reo v er, w h a t a b o u t the o u tb re a k o f H IV
in fectio n in n eo n ata l w ard s in so m e parts o f the w o rld ?
A quick look at the latest inform ation on A ID S w ould reveal that it is
sp re a d in g th ro u g h o u t th e w o rld am o n g d iffe re n t n atio n s.
T h e re fo re , it is a th re a t to all h u m an b e in g s , re g ard less o f th e ir
lifesty le.
A fte r his initial sta te m e n t, th e w rite r g o es on to su g g est th a t
re so u rc e s sh o u ld n o t b e allo c a te d fo r re se a rc h p ro g ra m m e s o n A ID S .
T h is m ean s a c o m p le te and u tte r su rre n d e r to a very th re a te n in g , b u t
c o n tro lla b le and p re v e n ta b le situ atio n .
T h e article m ust also h av e been a g re a t sh o ck to the v ictim s o f A ID S .
W c sh o u ld b e a r in m in d th a t p e o p le w h o h a v e th is d is e a s e n e e d
s y m p a th y , s u p p o r t, c o u n s e llin g a n d h e lp , r a th e r th a n is o la tio n ,
a c c u sa tio n and p u b lic h u m iliatio n .

8 . In lin e 9, is the w o rd o rd e r h o w w o u ld h e ex p lain c o rre c t? G iv e a reaso n


9. In lin e 11, w hat o th e r w o rd s can y o u th in k o f to re p la c e M o re o v e r? Is it
p o ssib le to o m it M o re o v e r h e re ? G iv e a reaso n .

I am w ritin g to e x p re ss m y o p in io n ab o u t an article on A cq u ired


Im m u n o d eficien cy S y n d ro m e (A ID S ), w h ich a p p eared in y o u r
n e w sp a p e r on 15th A u g u st 1 9 9 6 .1 fe a r th at th ere is a d a n g e r o f y o u r
re a d e rs b e in g m isled by the re m ark s m ad e by th e w riter. A s a d o c to r
w h o has sp en t six m o n th s in rese a rc h on A ID S , I w o u ld lik e to
c larify a few p o in ts fo r y o u r read ers.

25

I d o h ope the w rite r w ill, in fu tu re , c o n sid e r th e eth ical an d h u m an


c o sts o f w h at he w rites.
Yours faithfully,

11. Is it p o ssib le to re w rite th e o p e n in g sen te n c e o f th e fo u rth p arag ra p h as


fo llo w s: T h e w rite r a lso su g g ests th a t re so u rc e s ...? I f so , w h ic h o f the
tw o do you th in k is b e tte r?
12. C o n n e c t the tw o se n te n ce s o f th e fo u rth p a ra g ra p h in a d iffe re n t w ay.
W h ich do you p refer, th is n ew v ersio n o r th e w rite rs?

52

a book on writing

G eorgina M oore.

a book on w ritin g

53

Formal and informal awareness


The first stage o f deciding whether a word or phrase is formal or informal is being aware that
there is a difference between the two o f them . This exercise will help you to recognise
formal/informal language.
Read through the sentences below and you will see that they are all informal. Try to make them
formal and then compare your answer with the suggested versions in the Key.
Example:
Why don Vthey invest more money in the education system?
This is informal.
Formal:
I suggest that more money (should) be invested in the education system.

1. T h a n k s fo r y o u r letter, w hich I g o t y esterd ay .


2 . I f I w ere y o u , I d m a k e a w id e r sele ctio n o f fo o d a v a ilab le .
3 . Ju s t a b rie f n o te to say h o w b ad ly a m e m b e r o f y o u r s ta ff tre a te d m e.
4. You sw itch ed m y flig h t-tim e w ith o u t tellin g m e!
5. Ju st a few w o rd s to say w h a t I th in k a b o u t th a t a rtic le w h ic h ap p ea re d in
y o u r p a p e r th e o th e r day. It w as o n sp o rt fo r th e y o u n g .

6 . A n y w ay , d ro p m e a lin e w hen y o u h av e th e ch an ce .
7 . W h a t he said w as ju s t a lo ad o f ru b b ish .

8 . T h e re are to n s o f th in g s th at w e can d o to so lv e th e p ro b lem .


9. A nd w h at is w o rse is th a t you fin d d o g d irt all o v e r th e a re a w h ere c h ild ren
are p lay in g .
10. T h e th in g th at re a lly g o t m e w as th e w rite rs ig n o ra n c e o f th is m atter.

11 . I reck o n th at th e w rite r has g o t it all w ro n g .


12. F irstly , you n e v e r cle a n th e c a n te e n flo o rs.
13. P lease reply soon.
14. Y ours,
15. I d like to g et an a p p lic atio n fo rm fro m y o u fo r th e c le ric a l assistan t jo b .

54

a book on writing

Sill I yuuiJu 5! uu! yu! yuuuu

Exercise 37

Exercise 38
Translation from informal to formal
You arc now going to sec whether you can distinguish between formal and informal language
in a text. Itelow is a formal letter to a bank manager complaining about a cheque that was not
honoured by the bank. The grammar, spelling, etc. are correct, but some o f the words and
phrases are not suitable for a formal letter. First of all, read through the text and make a list of
the words and phrases which you think are too informal. Then try to find formal items to replace
them without any help. If necessary, however, you may choose from words and phrases from
the list at the bottom o f the page. Some of the informal examples have been marked for you.
Hello Mr Underall,
Just a few lines to say that 9. you bounced a cheque, which was presented for payment
on 25/1/96, in spite of the fact that my account 17. had money in it at the time of
presentation. I would also like to make a complaint about the subsequent service I got
from 1. one o f your chaps.
I would call your attention to the fact that a bankers draft for 150 was paid into my
account at your branch by my elder daughter, Rebecca M erstone, on 20/1/96, five days
before the said cheque was presented and refused. The following day my younger
daughter, Rosie, also paid 100 in cash into my account. There were, then, enough
funds in my account at the time of presentation and the cheque should have been cleared.
And Id like to point out that I got in touch with you by phone and the chap I spoke to
was really rude. Not being used to such behaviour, I was, as you can im agine, left
speechless.
Ilease inform me what compensation you propose to offer me for my inconvenience
in this matter and what you are going to do re the rudeness of the cashier.
Look forward to hearing from you when youve got the time.
Best wishes,
Ms Caroline Grinaide.
1. a member of your staff

11. I look forward to hearing from you

2. 1 should be grateful if you could

12. failed to honour

3. at your earliest convenience

13. telephone

4. 20 January 1996

14. 25 January 1996

5. contacted my branch

15. what action you propose to take

6. I am writing to lodge a complaint

16. sufficient

about the fact


7. therefore

17. was in credit

K. the gentleman

18. Yours sincerely,

9. the bank

19. very

10 . 1 should also like

20. received
21. Dear

a book on w ritin g

55

Exercise 39

Exercise 40
Formal lo informal translation

Dressing up an informal letter


A nother aspect o f editing a text is to improve on a draft, which requires both patience and
practice.

This exercise helps you focus on the difference between formal and informal language. Below
is an informal letter to a friend. The grammar, spelling, etc. are correct, but some o f the words
or phrases arc not suitable for a friendly letter. First, see if you recognise the language which
is too formal. Then try to make the letter more informal by replacing the formal words and
phrases with the informal items below. Two examples have been done for you.

Below is the beginning o f an informal letter. The text is correct, but it could be improved. Read
the text and then insert some, or all, o f the words and phrases below to dress up the passage.
You do not have to use all o f the items; how far you improve the text is for you to decide. Then
read the Key and see if you can find the words and phrases listed.

1. Give my regards to

Please note that, in some cases, you may have to change the punctuation.

2. great
1 .then

9. which w asnt exactly easy.

2. The first thing .... do was ....

10. a bit

3. and so I went along with them.

11. Its quite handy for the shops and

4. very pleasant studio

12. in one piece

5. and have been settling in gradually

13. where

3. things

since then.

11. has not been sorted out

16. getting me down


17. we can m eet up
18. Anyway

4. Why dont you

12. walk

19. Love

5. nice

13. get through to

20. write

6. really

14. sotted out

21. Many thanks

7. got

15. getting

22. loads of

8. hear

6. loads of

14. Now that I ve got my own place

7. really

15. first

Dean Sarah

8.1 must admit

16. a few lines

iam writing to thandgoa ftorgoar better, which ireceia-eda coupbe oftdags


ago, and fa r tie message on mg answering machine, b t was 5. such a pheasant
experience to hear ftromgoa. i'o-e triedinnamerabbe times to made contact withgoa on
the phone, bat i dept obtaining goar answering machine. So i resobo-ed to patpen to
paper instead.
it's reabbg wonderfa b oftgoa to hao-e arranged the hobidag to /enice so
cftfticicntbg. These dags idon'tseem to be abbe tog e t mg a ct together; nor do ihao-ethe
time or energg to do angthing. i mast sag th a t chasing abbthispaper aroanda t word
is depmC'Ssing me.
Ip/ebb, i'm sorrg to be infarm ed th a t goar noise pro idem has not come to a
satisfactorg concbasionget. it's trabg sebfash andinconsiderate oftpeopbe topbag masic
a tfabbbbast, especiabdg when abbgoa hear is th a t deep thud, iwoabdsuggestgoa bbast
them with some opera in the middbe oft the night.
On a happier note, a meeting between as can be arranged beftore we go to
{/enice, ift it's nice, we coabdftinish th a tpromenade abong the rio-er and then we coabd
have a bate aftternoon tea. Tinabbg, i boodftorward to hearing ftrom goa soon andhope
J. goar biftc andenvironment are a b it quieter, i woabdbegrateftabiftgoa coabdcono-eg
mg regards to Hugh.

D ear P /err/c ,
(7us,C to /& /pon now / tfo t h ere ancito <gbu-e egou meg new at/dres#,

/ arr-iu-ed in /ondon a t o a t a month atfo. / h ad to fand a g /a ce to Time,


hi/hen / g o t h ere, /P )h am m edput me of) fa r a coapde ofa n ights and
then / fa u n d th is fabat in li/c s t /ondon through an agcnceg. T h ere s
a tahe station n o t too faar awag. /oa shoaddcome oo-er h ere fa r a fa w
w eeds a t th e endoftg term .
/fe e tin^- geogde in / ondon is quite difafacubt. /n th e beginning, / fa b t
homesied, h u t one eo-ening / w ent to th e d/tudent ddnion. /g o t tadding
to some o th er students. T heg ino-itedme to agartg, which th eg w ere
going to g a te -c ra sh . / t was fa n ta stic. / m et o th er geogde, some ofa

tS = 3

/ours ftaithfta dbg,

whom / o-e m et seo-eradtim es since.

56

9. decided
10. hope to hear from you soon

a book on writing

Todneg

a book on w ritin g

57

Exercise 41
A writing drill
Students often learn words and phrases in isolation. Then when it conies to writing a text the
words and phrases do not fit in properly, or more often than not they do not come to mind easily.
In this exercise, you are asked to think of a word to fill each blank in an informal letter. Read the
text through once. Then read the letter again and think o f a suitable word for each gap. Write the
words on a separate sheet o f paper.
Check your answer with the Key. Repeat the exercise until you are able to read and fill the
blanks fluently. Please note that you are not expected to be able to fill all the blanks at the first
attempt. With repetition, however, you should be able to fill most o f them automatically.
D ear D oug,
1________2___ y o u r le tte r ,____ 3 ________4________5 ___
y e ste rd a y
6
w as re ally n ice t o
7 ________ 8 ________9
I m ust
say ,
10 ___ , th a t I w a s
11________ 12
su rp rise d to learn th at y o u
w ere b a c k ___13
c ig are tte s ag ain .
I k n o w y o u re u n d e r p re ssu re b e c a u se o f y o u r e x a m s ,___ 14___
it d o e s n t m ean th at y o u sh o u ld g i v e
15
now
16________ 17___
18___ ,1 c a n t b eliev e cigarettes are h elp in g y o u . D o you rem em b er
19____ I said b e fo re a b o u t all th e illn e sse s y o u c a n
20
by
s m o k in g ,
21___ lu n g can ce r, h e art d ise a se an d so o n ? B y sm o k in g , in
o t h e r ____ 22_, y o u re p u ttin g y o u r o w n l i f e ______ 2 3
risk .
24
,w h at ab o u t C a ro lin e a n d t h e
25
? A re n t th e y n o w at
g re a te r risk du e to y o u r s e lfis h n e s s ?
2 6 ________2 7 ________2 8 ___ y o u ,
I d start g iv in g u p
29
30
it all m y se lf.

SECTION 4

I k n o w it is n t easy , b e c a u se I ve been

31
d o n t
32
sta rt b y
33
u p g ra d u a lly ?
34 ________35___ , fo r in sta n c e , g iv e u p th e m o st im p o rta n t c ig a re tte s o f
th e d a y ,
36 ___ : th e first o n e in th e m o r n in g ;
37
a fte r m e a ls; and
38
w h ile y o u re d rin k in g
39
y o u can c u t
40
at the
rate o f on e a day. In th is w ay, y o u w o n t feel th e w ith d ra w a l sy m p to m s
q u ite so badly. I su p p o se th e re s a lso th e p o ssib ility o f g iv in g u p in one
41
Y ou re m e m b e r M ary , d o n t y o u ?
4 2 ___ , s h e
4 3 ____ in
sm o k in g a fter she sta rte d w h ee z in g all th e tim e . N o w s h e s t a k e n ____ 4 4 __
jo g g in g . Y o u
4 5 ________4 6 ___ to try th e sam e.
47 ___ , h o p e you d o n t m in d m e ra n tin g o n lik e th is. A n d
48
you
4 9___ m y a d v ic e
50
m e a lin e w h e n y o u ve
g o t the tim e. M y re g a rd s to Jo a n and th e k id s. A n d g o o d lu c k in th e ex am s!
B e st w ish es,

58

a book on writing

a book on w ritin g

Contents

2 5!

Page
4 2 . R e c o g n isin g sp ellin g m i s t a k e s ........................................................................ 62
4 3 . R e c o g n isin g the c o rrect w o rd p i c t u r e ...........................................................63

U 1 1 IIII I U U U 111

4 4 . R e c o g n isin g w o rd s w ith a d ifferen t a p p e a r a n c e ........................................ 64


4 5 . K diting se n ten ces w ith d iffe re n t m is ta k e s ................................................... 65
4 6 . S p eed e d it in g .......................................................................................................... 66
4 7 . A te a c h e rs r e v e n g e ! ............................................................................................ 67
4 8 . C o rre c tin g a t e x t .................................................................................................... 68
4 9 . C o rre c tin g a n d im p ro v in g a t e x t .................................................................... 70
5 0 . L e a rn in g to see m ista k e s in a t e x t .................................................................. 72
5 1. F in d in g irrele v an t in f o r m a tio n ........................................................................ 73
5 2 . A n o th e r m a z e .........................................................................................................74

Ill

60

a book on writing

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61

Exercise 42
Recognising spelling mistakes

Exercise 43
KccoKiii.siiiK the correct word picture

Once we have written something, it is difficult to recognise spelling mistakes. There are many
reasons for this: we are not careful enough when we write; we check too quickly; we recognise
the overall shape of the word, but we do not check the detail within the word.
One way of looking at spelling is to consider each word as a picture. Like a person, if you see
people often enough in different clothes and in different contexts, you can recognise them
easily. We all come across people whom we do not recognise outside the context we usually see
them in! With words, it is not much different. You have to be able to recognise words in books,
in newspapers, in your own handwriting, in advertisements, on computer screens and so on. All
these different word shapes and sizes can cause problems. Compare the way you write and print
a word with a printed word from a book. They will all be different.
Further, some of our word pictures may be wrong, so that we are not able to see that there is a
mistake in the spelling of a word. You should not, therefore, be surprised that errors occur in
your writing, especially as it develops.
As you study language, you can consciously alter the pictures you have o f words. One method
is by learning to recognise that something is wrong.
In each line below, there is at least one spelling mistake. Read the list carefully. Find the spelling
mistakes and write the corrections on a piece o f paper.

Spelling is also about recognising that the picture of a word that you have in your head is the
same as the one you see on the written page. In this exercise, you are going to pick out the
correct word picture from a series of words.
In each list below, there is ONE word which is spelt correctly. Read each list carefully and
decide which word is correct.
Do not mark the book so that you can do the exercise again.

1. rcaly fulfil acknow lege availible esential finaly


2. benifit bcautifull governm ent independant b reif studing
3. dissaray dissagree disaprove disappear em barass iritate
4. feild beleive receive plaed polution preceed practiced
5. successful w onderfull pow erfull preffer g reif dificulty

1 . p a ra g ra p h acco u n t ap p ly fin a ly p re fe rre d d e fin ite ly

6. procede w riten inteligent separately proceedure

2 . p ro g ra m m e ex e c ises su p p o rt en v iro m e n t p o stp o n e re lie f

7. occurred originaly posession fascilitate atem pt behavour

3. stu b b o rn listn in g sto p p in g v e g ta b le s a d itio n a l su d d e n ly


4 . y este d a y allo w e d ex p e n siv e te m p o ra ry a lth o u g h t b e c a u se
5. p assa g e b e le if tu m m y carefu l arriv al b e g in in g g u a ra n te e d

6 . in trestin g tra v e lle d im e d iate ly to m o rro w e sp e c ia lly

X. diffrent rcfcring difficult carefuly gaurantee


9.

acom m odation phisical arrange sirnlar preferrable posess

10.cquiped responsable necessary ocasional appearence

7. im agine an serin g c o rre sp o n d a d v e rtism e n t p u n ish m e n t

11. know ledge benifited licenced acheive desparate

8 . straig h t re stu a ra n t d isc u sin g d e lig h tfu l b u isn e ssm an


9. a d m ited d isa p o in te d tu n n e l th re a te n in g la n g a u g e n o n se n se

10 . can c e lla tio n ex a m in a tio n p ro ffe sio n afec te d o c c a sio n al


11 . m ain ten en ce sk ille d su p rise co lo u rs ap ro v al attra c tiv e
12 . fo rtu n atly p u tin g p e rm e n a n t im p o rta n t g e n eral

62

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63

Exercise 44
Recognising words with a different appearance

Exercise 45
Editing sentences willi dilTcmit mistakes

In this exercise, you are again going to look for words which have been correctly spelt.To see
if you can recognise words with a different appearance, the typeface in the lists below has been
changed.

When you write, you lutve to think about many tilings, not just spelling. You need to be aware
ol the correct word to use, the correct conjunction, the correct adverb, the correct punctuation,
the organisation and so on. In other words, your attention is being sent in different directions
at the same lime. As your ability to control your writing develops (see Sections 1 and 2), you
may find that some organisational mistakes disappear. This is partly because certain mechan
isms have become reflex actions; you do not have to think about them all the time! You can
then direct your attention to other types of inaccuracies.

In some of the lists, all o f the words are correct and in others only one or two are correct. Read
each list carefully and decide which words are spelt correctly.
Do not mark the book so that you can do the exercise again.

1.

irresponsible aprove dillema com m ittee aeroplain

2.

desperate separate phenom enon intention occurence

3.

delinquant appointm ent ordinry develope

In this exercise, you have to find and correct mistakes in sentences. This time the errors are not
111st to do with spelling. Read each sentence carefully to find the mistake and write the correction
on a piece of paper.
Do not mark the book so that you can do the exercise again.

correspondance

I All p rim ary sch o o ls sh o u ld b e p ro v id e d c o m p u te r su ites.

4.

independence technique vehicle possibility thorough

2. L ast y e a r the m a tte r has been d e b a te d in p a rlia m e n t.

5.

com puter tem perature envlromental erradicate alochol

3. T h e re arc m any p eo p le w o u ld ag ree w ith th is statem en t.

6.

dictionery therfore thier permission enginering

4 . E x cep t from buses an d tra in s, th ere are o th e r fo rm s o f p u b lic tra n sp o rt

7.

teatotaller independent professor tastefull

8.

conscientious m anagem ent envelope February

6 . M any p eo p le arc v ery in te restin g in p o litics.

9.

frightening application detention fascilitles

7. In recen t y e a rs, ju v e n ile crim e is a se rio u s th re a t to th e fab ric o f society.

10.

liesure perceive offensive neighborhood envelop

8 . T h e a c c o m o d atio n on o ffe r is u su ally o f p o o r q u ality and v e ry e x p en siv e.

11.

intrested unfortunatly apolegetic directory

9 . O n e w ay to red u ce the in creasin g p o p u la tio n is to in tro d u ce licen ses to

12.

occasion embarrassment casaltles deforestration

13.

miscelaneous aproach mischievous secretary

th a t co u ld be u sed .
5. Y oung p eo p le still seem to hav e en o rm o u s p ro b le m s in fin d in g w o rk .

h ave ch ild re n .
10. T h a n k s you fo r y o u r letter, w h ich I g o t y esterd ay .

11. U rban a reas are not en o u g h big to h o ld all th e p eo p le w ho m ig rate to


th em .
12. C ritic ism is levelled a g a in st m o d ern arc h ite c tu re m any tim e s b e fo re.
13. L ines sh o u ld be im p o sed on th o se b reak th e law.
14. M ore m o n ey n eeds to be sp e n t fo r a cu re for cancer.
15. It sh o u ld be also m ad e c le a r th at b ein g p u n ctu al is necessary.

64

a book on writing

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65

Exercise 46

Exercise 47
A teachers revenge!

Speed editing
In this exercise, there is a mistake in most o f the sentences; five sentences are, in fact, correct.
As with spelling, you need to learn to recognise what is wrong and what is correct. Now, you
should try to increase your speed. Read each sentence as quickly as you can to find the mistake
and write the correction on a piece o f paper. As you do the exercise, time yourself. If you repeat
the exercise, try to do it more quickly.

In lliis exercise, you need to be a little bit more active in your recognition and correction of
mistakes, as you will find out when you turn to the Key. Below you have 25 sentences;
altogether, they are roughly the sam e length as an essay o f 250-260 words. Three o f the
sentences have no mistakes and you may also find that some have more than one. Time yourself
and see il you can find the mistakes in less than five minutes. Leave the exercise for a few days
and try it again.

1. In m y o p in io n , n e w s o n tele v isio n a b o u t v io le n c e n e e d to be c e n so re d , as
it en c o u ra g e s v io len c e.

1. fossil remains of dinosaurs are found recently.

2. T h e affects o f te c h n o lo g y on o u r liv e s are e n d le ss.

2. The governm ent must tighten the law in this respect.

3.

A fte r the m a tte r w ill be c o n sid e re d fully, th e law w ill be ch an g ed .

3. Nowadays, especially young people, everyone should practise safe sex.


4. I le arised the matter at the meeting before last.

4 . T h e re is a little d o u b t as to th e tru th o f th is sta te m e n t. N o b o d y w o u ld


arg u e a g ain st it.

5. I wonder how can the writer explain this statement.


6. Success only can be acheived by hard work.

5 . I c an n o t say th at I ag re e to th e o p in io n e x p re sse d in th e article .

6 . T h o u g h gen erally v ery c o n fid e n t, th e re are c e rta in a rea s w h e re h e is q u ite


shy.
7 . T h is can not be d o n e as ea sily as p eo p le th in k .

8. Instead, the money should be spent on improving school buildings and to help old
people.
9. If people arc careful when they drive, there will be fewer accidents.
10.

8 . T h e m a tte r a lm o st w as o v erlo o k ed .
9. A lth o u g h th e p ro p o s a l h as b ee n p u t fo rw a rd b e fo re , b u t it sh o u ld be
ex a m in e d ag ain .
10. A lth o u g h th e c o st in v o lv e d , n e w tree s m u st be p la n te d .
11.

7. I suggest you to try working a bit harder.

I f m an y people d o n o t have e n o u g h m o n ey to b u y fo o d and c lo th e s, su rely


so m eth in g has g o n e w ro n g .

12. M an y p e o p le fin d sp id e rs ra th e r frig h te n in g .

This is a delicate matter that has raised considerable controversy.

11. Smoking is very harmful! to our health.


12. Less people would mean less problems.
13. Should education be free for all?
14. Passing exams often depends of luck.
15.

We pick knowledge throughout life.

16.

The idea is certainly sound and, in my opinion, it should not be introduced.

17. I le bought the stationary he needed and then rushed home to right the letter.
13. N o b o d y as yet has fo u n d an a n sw e r fo r th is p ro b le m .

19. Had they acted sooner, then the collapse o f the housing market would not happen.

15. W ith in the n e x t d e c a d e , b io te c h n o lo g y m ay tra n sfo rm o u r liv es.

20. I le appears to be very experienced with dealing with people.

16. A big n u m b e r o f p e o p le w e re in v o lv e d in th e a c c id e n t.

2 1. We arc all sensible to criticism at times.

17. T h ey fin ally m a n a g e d in fin d in g a so lu tio n to th e p ro b le m .

22. Ive kept a dairy since I was in primary school.


23. 1le had to pay a 50 fee when he was caught parking in a restricted area.

18. E v en th ere is p le n ty o f sco p e fo r d e v e lo p m e n t.


19. It is v ery e ssen tial to e x a m in e th e situ a tio n carefu lly .

24. I often lo o se m y w ay around here.


25. Recent stnistics have shown that the distance between the rich and the poor is
increasing.

20. T h is is no d iffe re n t fro m the o th e r o n e.

66

18. The govermcnt arc surely responsible in this case.

14. T h e p atien t lay in a c o m m a fo r sev e ral d ay s.

a book on writing

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67

Exercise 48
Correcting a text

1. W hich is correct: the com puters/ the co m p uter/com puters?

Correcting a sentence, or a series o f sentences, is very different from finding mistakes in a


continuous piece o f writing. In a sentence, you are working within very specific limits, i.e.
between two full stops. A text like the one below, however, is larger and more complex. As the
language in any one sentence is subject to many influences, your mind, therefore, needs to be
touching different points at any one time, like a spider.
In the text below, on the importance o f computers nowadays, there are some errors. As you
read the passage think about the mistakes, which are numbered. Then use the notes on the page
opposite to help you correct the passage.

2. education... etc arc exam ples o f the areas o f our lives? Can
iis introduce exam ples here?
L I ,ook at the pattern in the rest o f the sentence carefully: ...do
anything.

4. w ithout is a preposition. Is the verb w hich follow s in the


correct form ?
5. T h e re are tw o m ain verbs in th is se n te n c e . C o rre c t the
punctuation.

Nowadays 1. the computers are being used in so many


areas o f our lives, 2. as education, leisure, work, etc, that
you can hardly go 3. nowhere or do anything 4. without
come in contact with one in some form or other. 5. Take
schools for example even at primary level, children are
learning more and more through the use o f computers.
So much 6., in fact, that some people even believe that
one day, in the none too distant future, 7. computer will
replace the teacher in the classroom. 8. Many, if not
most, homes are now 9. equiped with home computers,
so many children spend a lot o f their time 10 . surround
by machines. 11. Parents increasingly find that they are
now part o f a new group o f illiterates - the computer
illiterate. As such 12. parents are in danger not only of
being unable to help their children with their homework,
but also 13. to be left behind in the work field. 14. A
knowledge o f how to use computers is a necessity for
15. everyone in the modern world.

68

a book on writing

6. A w ord is m issing here. It refers to the previous sentence.


7. Is the w ord com puter correct here? L ook also at 1 above as
w ell.
8. You need to add a w ord or a phrase here to help the reader.
You w ant to show h im /h er that this sen ten ce is an o th e r
exam ple to support your argum ent. You need, therefore, to
qualify the sentence by using a w ord that m eans p lu s .
9. Is the spelling correct here?
10. Is the form o f this verb correct?
11. You need to show the relatio n sh ip b etw een this sentence
and the previous one. W hat is the purpose o f this sentence?
12. Repetition?
13. Is the verb in the right form ?
14. Add a word or phrase to show the relationship betw een this
sentence and the previous text.
15. Should this be everyone o r every o n e?

a book on w ritin g

69

Exercise 49

Use the guidelines below to help you edit the passage. Note that the guidelines are in the order
that you should make the improvements to (he text. As an example, number 14 has been done
for you.

Correcting and improving a text


In the passage below, the writer has made some mistakes and there are also some changes he
would like to make. Read the text carefully. Then look at the guidelines on the page opposite.

Try not to mark the text so that you can repeat the exercise.

1. In the first lin e, there is a w o rd m issin g .

The Temple to the Winds

2. R ep lace th is w ord w ith the w o rd ju st.

How well remember the very first time I saw it. To a childs eyes, the
distance was great and it was merely a blob on a cliff top, far away and
out of reach, but somehow the blob did not look right. I couldnt say
why and it perturbed me that I couldnt work it out. I didnt think to ask
what it was: so mysterious it was, that 1probably thought they wouldnt
know anyway.

3. A n n o y ed m ig h t be b e tte r at o n e p o in t in the tex t.


4 . T h e se tw o w o rd s are th e w ro n g w ay ro u n d .

5. T w o letters in th is w o rd a re the w ro n g w ay ro u n d .
6 . T h ese tw o w o rd s sh o u ld be o ne w o rd .
7. T h is w o rd is not n eed ed . It is in th e th ird p a rag rap h .

The image has huanted me ever since.

8 . T h ese th ree w ords are in th e w ro n g order.

It was to be many years later when I had left home, had been to an other
continent even, that I returned back. It was on a summers, wet, cold
day with the wind lashing in from the north. We approached it from the
main road, walking towards the cliff top and the sea. I was apprehensive
and excited: apprehensive, because it will prove to be such a dissapointment, and excited by the thought that it might not be so. And there it
was, precariously on the cliff edge. 14.
in the Celtic
landscape, the round classical building stood proud and solid against
the temper of the North Sea.
We entered; and it was more than I had imagined. Opposite the door,
to which we had climbed stone steps, was a tall narrow window facing
straight out into the sea. There was another opening to the east, and then
I turned and looked west.

9. A dd the fo llo w in g p h rase in th e c o rre c t place: th ro u g h sog g y g ro u n d .


10. T h e w ord w ill is w ro n g h ere. W h a t sh o u ld y o u use?
11. T h is w o rd has a g m issin g .
12. T h is w ord h as an e x tra le tte r s.
13. Itit the w ord p erch ed in to a su itab le p lace in th e tex t.
14. A dd the w o rd In co n g ru o u s to a su itab le p la c e in th e text.
1A A dd the p h rase a short flig h t o f to a su itab le p la c e in the text,
lb . T h is w o rd sh o u ld be tw o w o rd s.
17. T h is w ord h as o ne g to o m any.
18. R ep lace this w o rd w ith the w o rd p e e re d .

Inspite of the rain, the golden strand curved round, followed by the
railway line, which passed directly beneath the Temple to the Winds.
The mountains, slopping up from the beach, looked different from this
viewpoint; and the hills of Donegal were lost to the rain. I moved to the
window and looked into the distance that still seemed so great. For a
time I waited, but I could not see the little boy, so full of dreams, who
was beckoned upon the winds.

70

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71

Exercise 50

Exercise 5 1
finding irrelevant information

Learning to see mistakes in a text


In this exercise, you are going to look at correcting a text in a different way. The passage below
is correct. Read the passage several times and then look at the Key.
You may want to leave a gap o f several days between reading the two texts.

Through the distant haze of childhood, my school holidays with Auntie


Maureen and Auntie Vi stand out clearly in my mind. Even now as an
adult, my occasional visits to Farkleberry Rise never fail to cheer me
up.
Auntie Maureen is a favourite of mine. She is tall and slender and wears
her hair in a tight bun. Her faint moustache still amuses me; at first, it
made her appear rather fierce and strict to my sister and myself.
She is, in fact, rather an exciting character. To us children, she was
always such fun to be with and constantly trying to keep us entertained;
whether it was playing games on the wide lawn, or launching bomb
attacks on the Wendy house in the wilderness at the bottom of the
orchard. Auntie Vi, on the other hand, a rather jolly and quite erudite
character, always seemed to be working furiously in some far off comer
of the Rise, and hanging out of windows shouting encouragement at our
goings-on in the garden. Much later, we found that she was, in fact,
shouting at us to shut up.
Auntie Maureen was, and still is, something of a legend in the local
area, famous for her amateur dramatics, homemade jam and hedges. On
one memorable occasion, she put on rather a spectacular display for us.
She was up a ladder cutting the hedge at the back of the Rise. We had
been acting B reeze in the Birches, a play Auntie Maureen had written
for us, when we rushed round the comer of the house to find dear Auntie
Maureen in mid-air, legs and arms akimbo like a great star.
We thought she had got bored cutting the hedge and had decided to join
in our fun. We roared with laughter, as Auntie Maureen disappeared
over the top of the hedge with what sounded like great squeals of
delight. Never have I laughed so much in all my life!
Auntie Maureen then spent three days in bed, barely able to move.

You lire now going to look at another aspect o f editing a text: finding and removing irrelevant
information from a passage.
We all find it difficult to concentrate as we write. Even when we have worked out the focus of
an essay,there is always the temptation to add extra, and usually irrelevant, details. This is
partly because it is not easy to keep within the limits we have created for ourselves. Sometimes,
it also happens because we do not know how to relate additional facts to the text we are writing.
Sorting out relevant information from the almost relevant is also a problem.
Helow is a passage with ten irrelevant sentences or clauses. Read the text and decide which
parts are irrelevant.
E xam ple the first sentence in paragraph I is irrelevant, but why?

Wind are the main arguments for or against banning genetic engineering?
1.

5.

10.

15.

20.

G e n e tic s is a su b ject w h ich is ra th e r c o m p lic a te d fo r the p u b lic . A s


the scien ce o f g en etic en g in e e rin g a d v a n c e s, scien ce fic tio n is b e in g
tu rn e d into reality an d it is, in m y o p in io n , a g re a t im p ro v em en t.
S u ch d e v e lo p m e n ts, h o w e v e r, are to tally u n a c c e p ta b le to a large
p ro p o rtio n o f the g e n e ra l p u b lic.
M an y p e o p le o b je c t to th e u se o f g en etic en g in e e rin g in fo o d
p ro d u c tio n , an d a re a ls o w o rried a b o u t th e safety o f b e e f p ro d u c ts. In
rese a rc h c e n tre s th ro u g h o u t th e w o rld , ex p e rim e n ts are b e in g c arried
o u t to p ro d u ce g e n e tic a lly e n g in e e re d p la n ts th a t ca n re sist p ests o r
p ro d u c e a h ig h e r y ield o r last lo n g er. G en etic e n g in e e rin g w ill lead
to a h e a lth ie r diet fo r all o f m a n k in d an d , c o n seq u en tly , an ev en
b e tte r stan d ard o f liv in g . F o r e x a m p le , to m ato p ro d u c ts a re alread y
b ein g sold w hich d o n o t rot; so -calle d F ra n k e n s te in to m a to e s. T h e
m ain co n c e rn o f m an y p e o p le is th a t th ese c h a n g es are unsafe.
S afety is a lso a p rim a ry co n c e rn o f m any p e o p le in o th e r areas o f
life, e.g . th e sid e -effects o f m e d ic in e s. T h ey fe a r th at su ch alteratio n s
w ill, in tu rn , u ltim ately lead to c h a n g e s in the e n v iro n m e n t an d food
c h a in , w h ich sc ie n tists h av e n o t th o u g h t o f. S c ien tists are re sp o n sib le
fo r m any d isasters: th e re are co u n tle ss sto ries ab o u t w aste b ein g
sp illed into riv ers a n d th e sea. S im ilarly , m an y p e o p le are an x io u s
that ce rta in altered m ic ro -o rg a n ism s, w h ich are d a n g e ro u s, m ig h t
acc id e n ta lly e scap e into th e e n v iro n m e n t w ith cata stro p h ic
co n se q u e n c e s . C an sc ie n tists c o n firm c a te g o ric a lly th at the
m o d ific a tio n s they h a v e m ad e to the stru ctu re o f p lan ts an d an im als
continued over page

72

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73

25.

30.

35.

40.

w ill n o t affect th e h e a lth o f both h u m a n s a n d a n im a ls , sin ce in n o c e n t


c re atu res need p ro te c tio n a g a in st e x p e rim e n ts?
A n o th e r m a jo r a rg u m e n t a g a in st is th a t th e m o ra lity o f u sin g g en etic
en g in e e rin g is q u e stio n a b le . R e c en tly , th e g e n e ra l p u b lic w e re v ery
sh o ck ed an d d istu rb e d to see o n T V and in m an y n e w sp a p e rs the
sig h t o f a m o u s e , w h ic h h ad b e e n g e n e tic a lly e n g in e e re d to h a v e no
im m u n e sy ste m . W h a t d istu rb e d m o st p e o p le w as th e sig h t o f a
h u m a n e a r g ro w in g u n d e r th e sk in o f th e m o u s e s b a c k . S u ch b izarre
im ag es sh o u ld n o t b e sh o w n o n T V , as it u p se ts m an y p e o p le . T h e
e a r w as d ev e lo p e d fo r c o sm etic re a s o n s, e .g . to h e lp d e fo rm e d
ch ild re n . W h ile e v e ry o n e w o u ld ag re e w ith th e a im o f h e lp in g
p eo p le w ith p h y sic a l d e fo rm itie s, fe w p e o p le c o u ld n o t b u t b e
ap p alled at th e im m o ral u se o f h e lp le ss an im als in th is w ay. M an y
an im al lo v ers, m y s e lf in c lu d e d , fe e l th at they m u st m a k e a stan d fo r
th e rig h ts o f an im a ls.
T h ese are b u t a fe w e x am p le s o f th e m ain a rg u m e n ts a g a in st the
p ra c tic e o f g en e tic e n g in e e rin g . T h e re a re , o f co u rs e , m any
a rg u m en ts in fav o u r, fo r e x a m p le a b e tte r q u a lity o f fo o d .

Exercise 52
Another maze
W hen you write, you are constantly making choices about your knowledge o f the grammar in
a language, about the content and about the connections. You have to be very alert! In this
exercise, you are going to create a text by making choices from different alternatives.
Below is a passage on the measures to reduce traffic congestion in cities in the UK. The
introduction is:

A s th e ro ad s in the U K , esp e cia lly in u rb an are a s, b e c o m e m o re co n g e ste d ,


atten tio n is b eing fo c u se d o n w ay s to deal w ith th e p ro b le m . T h e b est w ay, in
m y o p in io n , is to in c re a se in v e stm en t in p u b lic tra n sp o rt.

Now continue the paragraph. In I below, two o f the alternatives are wrong and one is correct.
Choose the correct answer. Move on to number 2 and do the same. In each case, think o f a
reason, or reasons, for your choice, and why the other two alternatives are unsuitable.

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Such investment
would lead to a
more efficient
public transport
infrastructure.

Increased investment
in public transport
would lead to a more
efficient public
transport infrastructure.

Investment leads to a
more efficient system.

It, in turn, would


lead to a greater
use of public
transport,
provided

More people would


then use public
transport and there
would be fewer
accidents, provided

More people would


then use public
transport, provided

more buses and


trains are made
available and it
is cheaper.

more buses and trains


were made available
and the fares kept low.

more buses were


provided and they
were cheaper.

This would have


the beneficial
effect of
reducing the
number of
private vehicles
on the roads.

It would reduce the


number of vehicles on
the roads.

Fewer vehicles would


mean fewer accidents
on the roads.

There will be
fewer vehicles,

There would be fewer


vehicles,

As there would be
fewer vehicles,

the roads would


be less
congested.

and the roads would be


less congested.

and less congestion.

The traffic
would move
more freely.

Motorists would,
therefore, be able to
move around much
more easily.

The cars will, as a


result, be less
congested.

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75

SECTION 5

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11

ni 1
s s aj 111 so i 11jis
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ni b

78

Contents

Page

53.

Punctuation n a m e s..................................................................80

54.

Questions about punctuation................................................. 81

55.

Missing punctuation................................................................82

5b.

Punctuation c o rrectio n........................................................... 83

57.

Capital le tte rs ...........................................................................84

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79

Punctuation names
This exercise will help you test your knowledge of the names of the different punctuation marks.
Try not to mark the book, as then you will be able to repeat the exercise several times.
Name all the punctuation marks in each of the sentences below.

1. M rs Jackson c o u ld n t find the letter im m ediately, but after


a few days it turned up.
2. Is it so difficult to give a straight answ er?
3. T he dog had been very badly treated; its back was covered
in sores.
4. W hy d id n t they bring this law in so o n er? she asked.
5. That was rather a half-baked idea.
6. W hat a w onderful fireplace!
7. Frederick B artlett (1913-1947) is one o f the w o rld s great
undiscovered poets.
8. I ts Ja m e ss book.
9. H e gave m e a really nice present - a beautiful handm ade
bow l.
10. T he m ark et w as fu ll o f such ex o tic fru it, like: g u av as,
m angoes, starfruit and kum quats.
11. You can use several punctuation m arks in a list: com m as/
sem icolons/oblique strokes.

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lQDBlDDDB13523uuuuuyuyyu

Exercise 53

Exercise 54
Questions about punctuation________________________________________
li is quite difficult (u learn rules in any list; and the rules of punctuation arc no exception. In this
exercise you can test how much you know.
I ry not to mark the book, as then you will be able to repeat the exercise several times.

1. What is wrong with the punctuation in this sentence:


Many people will now want to know why the taxpayers money is being
wasted in this way?

2. How does the punctuation change the meaning in the sentences below?
(a)

Your nephew, who bought the painting, came in the shop again yesterday.

(b)

Your nephew who bought the painting came in the shop again yesterday.

3. Is the punctuation in both sentences below correct?


(a)
(b)

Mr Jam es, who bought the painting, came in the shop again yesterday.
Mr James who bought the painting came in the shop again yesterday.

4. Are all the commas in the sentences below necessary? If so, what is their
effect on the meaning of the sentences?
(a)
(b)
(c)
(d)
(c)
(f)
(g)
(h)

Two factory managers, M r Jones and Mrs Blair, spoke very eloquently at
the meeting.
Two factory managers, M r Jones and Mrs B lair spoke very eloquently at
the meeting.
I Ic got up early, so he would be able to finish his essay.
Mr Cook, the chair, of the Committee, spoke, at length, about the matter,
however.
The man, wearing a red jum per, is the leader of the gang.
He bought a house, a garage, a cat and a garden.
Tell me immediately, if you need me for anything.
If you need me for anything, tell me immediately.

5. What is the difference between a colon and a semicolon? Use the


following sentences to work out the answer:
(a)
(b)
(c)
(d)

You need three docum ents, namely: your passport, your driving licence
and a bank statement.
I have a piece o f advice for you: listen carefully to what he tells you.
The film was so boring; people just seemed to sit around and talk.
The government can do one of three things: raise taxes; increase borrowing;
or just do nothing and let things take their course.

(>. Which of the two following sentences has the correct punctuation?
(a)
(b)

Why is its tail so long? the little boy asked.


It's gelling rather lale and w ed better get home.

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si

8 . W h en d o you use a h y p h e n ?
9 . W h en you use w o rd s an d p h ra ses lik e m o re o v e r/sim ila rly /h o w e v e r at the
b e g in n in g o f a se n te n c e , o r in th e m id d le , sh o u ld y o u u se c o m m a s to
sep arate th em fro m th e rest o f the te x t?
10. Y ou ca n use b ra c k e ts to in d ic a te p a re n th e sis. W h a t o th e r p u n c tu a tio n
m ark s c an you u se?
11. C h an g e th e m ea n in g o f th is se n te n c e b y ad d in g tw o c o m m as:
The planes made from a new kind o f alloy were returned to the factory.

Exercise 55
M issing punctuation
Now it is time to use the information from the previous exercises on punctuation. In each
sentence below, there is one punctuation mark missing. Read the sentences carefully and decide
where the missing punctuation is. Then write your corrections on a separate piece o f paper.
Check your answer with the Key.

1 . I w o n d e r w hat I can d o to h e lp y o u in th is m a tte r


2.

W h at a b rillian t id e a lve ju s t had!

3. M r Jo n es te le p h o n e d early an d left y o u th e fo llo w in g m e ssa g e p le ase rin g


a fter 4 p m today.
4.

I t s c o rre c t, is n t it

5. H e w an ted to g et h o m e early b e ca u se it w as sn o w in g ra th e r h eav ily that


e v e n in g .

6 . T h ere are m an y w a y s o f g o in g a b o u t th is fo r e x a m p le , y o u co u ld arran g e


it th ro u g h a trav el ag en t o r th e airlin e c o u ld d o it fo r y o u .
7.

S h o u ld you w ish to h av e fu rth e r in fo rm a tio n , I sh all b e g la d to su p p ly the


sam e

8 . C o u ld you ty p e th is u p fo r m e, p lease
9. T h re e lin g u ists, P ro fe sso r Jo n e s P ro fe sso r H a rv e y a n d D r B o y d , tu rn ed
up at th e sem in ar.
10.

82

Y ours is m uch b ig g e r b u t its b o n n et is a bit sm all.

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S 1 3 SI S S 31 i S 5 S 02 2 i II0 IS SI 1

7. C an you u se a d ash in fo rm al w ritin g ?

Exercise 56
1iiiictnation correction
Some o f the sentences below have the correct punctuation, some have too m uch, and some do
not have enough.
Read the sentences carefully and decide which sentences contain the wrong punctuation. Then
write your corrections on a separate piece o f paper.
Check your answ er with the Key.

1. T h e re w as a lo n g , d a rk , w in d in g , ro a d lead in g up to th e ho u se.
2. M s B artlett risin g to a d d re ss the H o rtic u ltu ra l S o ciety trip p e d a n d fell.
3. M o re o v e r th e m e d icin e sh o u ld hav e b een b an n ed im m ed iately .
4 . Its body w as long a n d th in , an d co v e re d in tiny spikes
5 . H e c o u ld n t re m e m b e r w h e n to u se Y o u rs f a ith f u lly , a n d Y o u r s
sin c e re ly , .

6 . O n the su rfa c e , it so u n d s like a g o o d id e a , b u t d ig a bit d e e p e r and the


p ro b le m s start to ap pear.
7 . P e o p le, like scien tists a n d in v en to rs o ften a p p e a r e c c en tric to th e re s t o f
us.

8 . T h e g ro u p o f c h ild re n w h o w e re g iv e n lo ts o f h e lp by th e ir p a re n ts
p ro g re sse d m uch m o re qu ick ly .
9 . D ont e v e r d o that a g a in , he sh o u ted .
10. F e w e r an d fe w e r p e o p le c a m e to th e

library.

T h e re fo re , itw as

d ec id e d

th a t it sh o u ld b e c lo sed .
11. In re ality , its not that e a sy to d eal w ith .
12. W h o s fau lt is it?
13. W c had a p le a s a n t en d o f term party.
14. M ichel said the te a c h e r is a v ery fast reader.

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83

Exercise 57
Capital letters
Another aspect of writing, which you normally find under punctuation, is the use of capital
letters.
In this exercise, you are going to complete the rules for yourself. On the left, you have examples
o f the use o f capital letters. M atch them with the rules o f use in the right-hand column.

1.

Jo h n , M o h a m e d , N ick y

(a)

th e n a m e s o f riv ers

2.

S ep tem b er, M arch

(b)

title s w ith n am es

3.

F re e to w n , N e w Y ork

(c)

th e n am e s o f c o u n trie s

4.

G e rm a n , In d ian

(d)

th e n am e s o f p e o p le

5.

T u esd ay , F rid ay

(e)

m an y a b b re v ia tio n s

6.

the T h a m e s, th e A m az o n

(f)

a d je c tiv e s o f n atio n a lity

7.

A frien d to ld m e.

(g)

d ay s o f th e w eek

8.

P a k ista n , F rance

(h)

n o u n s as p art o f th e n am es o f
p lace s

9.

E aster, D iw a li, R a m ad a n

(i)

th e titles o f b o o k s, p la y s, etc.

10 . the R en aissan ce

G)

th e first w o rd in a sen ten ce

11 . T h e T em pest

(k)

th e n am es o f fe stiv a ls

12 . M rs S tu art,

( 1)

p e rio d s o f h isto ry

13. the C ity o f L o n d o n

(m )

m o n th s o f th e y e a r

14. N B , M P, B B C

(n)

th e n am e s o f cities

15. the H im a la y a s, th e A lp s

(o)

the n am e s o f m o u n tain s

KEY

P ro fe sso r W est

84

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mcy to Exercise 1

Food additives should be banned is a statement which not everybody would agree with. The
word Discuss with this statement is asking you to look at arguments for and against banning
food additives. The word Discuss is. therefore, your organising word.

2. Organising word: ways

The general subject, the banning of food additives, is obviously a very controversial issue; so
why not put this in the general statement? In the topic sentence, you can sec that the organising
word Discuss has changed to arguments for and against. This is, in fact, a direct translation of
the f_ aspect of the word controversy.

General subject: Deducing! unemployment fin Europel


Possible introduction:
Unemployment throughout Europe is a m ajor problem. However, there are several very
effective measures which can be implemented to tackle the situation.
The general subject of this essay is unemployment. The title, however, does not ask you to write
about unemployment itself; it asks you to write about ways Do reduce itl.
Note the organising word in the topic sentence has been changed from wavs to measures to
avoid repetition. (See Exercise 5). The word measures gives you the focus, or topic o f the essay.
That is why the second sentence is called a topic sentence.
To write the general statement, the title itself will help you. If you look back to number I, you
will see that it is very similar. The phrase to reduce unemployment in Europe in the title implies
that unemployment is high, too high or increasing. Why not use this as your general statement?
The relationship between the two sentences in the introduction is: a general statement about
unemployment and a topic sentence with the organising word m easures. There is another way
to look at the relationship, which will help you to understand the mechanisms involved in
writing. The first sentence contains a negative idea: is a major problem . This is followed by a
positive statement in the second sentence:
General statement

Topic statement
however

In this introduction, the relationship is general statement and topic sentence, but there is no
contrast. This is because the two sentences are both plus/minus and are in this sense equal. We
therefore need a connecting word which shows that the phrase arguments for and against is a
logical translation o f the word controversy.
A diagram here should help you:
General statement

Focus statement

Controversial

arguments for and against

+ /-

Therefore

+ /-

5. Organising word: benefits


G eneral subject: [investing money ini space research
Possible introduction:

The connecting word However emphasises the contrast between positive and negative, and
links the two statements even closer together.
3. Organising word: disadvantages

The enormous sums o f money spent on research into space travel is an issue that is
arousing more and more controversy. Such investment has, however, brought many
benefits to the world.
We are now going to look at the relationship between the two sentences in the introduction in
another way. Think of the first sentence as a unit. This unit does two things:

General subject: fusing! computers in the workplace

(i) it gives you a general statement about the subject o f space research.

Possible introduction:
Computers have brought enormous benefits to the workplace. However, at the same
time, there are many disadvantages associated with using such technology.
The structure o f this introduction is very similar to Number 2 above. Notice that this time,
however, the general statem ent is positive and the topic sentence is negative. Again, the
connecting word is However and the phrase at the same time helps to emphasise the L contrast.

(ii) and it contains the idea o f +/- in the word controversy.


The second sentence performs different functions:
(i) it contains a topic sentence.
(ii) it contains the organising word: benefits.
(iii) unlike the first sentence, it contains a + idea.

4. Organising word: Discuss

(iv) it is also a contrast sentence. The word however emphasises that the relationship
between the two sentences is not just that o f general statement and topic sentence. It
shows that the second sentence contrasts with the first: E contrasts with .

General subject: Food additives


Possible introduction:
The use o f additives in fo o d is a matter o f some controversy. N ot surprisingly, therefore,
there are many arguments fo r and against this practice.

86

Notice that the word connecting the two sentences is therefore. If you look at N um ber 2 above,
you will see that 1lowcvcr emphasised the contrast between the general statement and the topic
sentence. There, we saw that the relationship between the sentences was: (i) positive/negative
(contrast); (ii) general statement and topic sentence.

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Ihe two units lit togclliei from the meaning point o f view. T his relationship is called coherence.
Compare the structure ol this question and the introduction to numbers 2 and 4 above.

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87

6. Organising word(s): cause(s)/Discuss

You can see that these two units of meaning arc already linked to a certain extent by coherence
and there is also a cohesive link with the contrast between a good wav and many other measures.
The word measures here is a synonym for the word way and works like a pronoun in the
sentence.

General subject: destruction of the environment


Possible introduction:
The burning o f fo ssil fu e ls has contributed enormously to the destruction o f the
environment. However, there are many other, no less, important causes.
This essay asks you to examine whether the burning o f fossil fuels is the main contributing
factor to the destruction o f the environment. It is obvious, however, that there are other factors.
This allows you to use the contrast mechanism you saw in 2 ,3 and 5 above.
Notice here that the contrast is different. The word however emphasises the contrast between
the fact that burning fossil fuels is a major contributing factor and the fact that there are others.
Compare this with the contrast in 2, 3 and 5 above.

The cohesive link betw een the tw o sentences is, how ever, not strong enough. We need
something else to bind them together. We could use the word however as in 5 above, but this
time you have another way of showing contrast by using although. The cohesive words in this
sentence are Although, a good way and many other measures.
Compare 6 above. Prom the point o f view of meaning, the organisation is the same as in 6
above, except that there is only one sentence.

(). Organising word(s): opinion/reasons

7. Organising word(s): Discuss the advantages

General subject: tobacco advertising

General subject: Sex education in secondary school

Possible introduction:

Possible introduction:
Sex education at secondary level is a much debated issue. However, such education
does have many advantages.
Notice that the organisation here is the same as in 5 above.
Notice also the meaning of the word Discuss here. It means describe/explain. Compare this
meaning of Discuss with 4 and 6 above. In 4, Discuss means: to set out the arguments for and
against. When you have a statement which is followed by the word D iscuss, you should read
the statement and decide whether it is controversial or not. Obviously, the essay title in number
4 asks you to discuss a controversial issue, whereas this essay title does not. The subject of sex
education may be controversial, but the essay question does not ask you to focus on this aspect
o f the general subject.
You have already seen that you can hold sentences together by meaning, that is, by coherence.
You can also link sentences together by using adverbs, pronouns and synonyms. The name for
this kind of linking is cohesion. In the introduction above the basic cohesive words are much
debated issue. However, such education and advantages.
Read the above introductions again and see if you can find the cohesive words.

Hanning tobacco adverts on television and in other areas o f the media does provoke
i onsiderable opposition. As fa r as I am concerned, however, such advertising should
not be (dlow edfor many reasons.
We can have a brief look at the cohesion in this introduction:
F

Banning tobacco adverts on television and in other areas of the media is a


synonym for the whole statement in the title. Thus, it links the general statement
to the essay question.

As far as 1 am concerned links the topic sentence to the title as it shows that the
sentence is your opinion.

however shows the contrast between the opposition to the banning in the general
statem ent and the opposition to allowing tobacco advertising in the topic
sentence.

such advertising is a substitute for tobacco adverts on television and in other


areas of the m edia. Note also the sequence is advertising, adverts and then
advertising: the change o f word helps to avoid repetition. The contrast in the
sequence also helps to link the sentences together.

reasons links the topic sentence again with the title.

8. Organising words: opinion/measures


General subject: urban traffic problems
Possible introduction:
Although banning cars fro m city centres is a good way to solve current traffic problems,
there are, in my opinion, many other measures that can and should be taken.

I (ink ai the previous introductions and see if you can work out how the sentences arc connected
by cohesion, If you cannot at this stage, do not worry.

The introduction shows that the writer disagrees that the solution contained in the title is the
best measure to solve the problem. Banning cars is a good measure, but not necessarily the best;
there are others. In this introduction, the general statement and the topic sentence are in one
unit. It is possible, however, to divide them into two sentences:
(i) Banning cars from city centres is a good way to solve current traffic problems.
(ii) There are many other measures that can and should be taken.

88

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89

Key to Exercise 2
1.

The connecting word however emphasises the contrast between positive and negative, and links
the two statements even closer together.

If you now look at the topic sentence, you can see the focus of the essay: arguments
against. The general sentence tells you that the general subject is capital punishment.
General sentence

Focus sentence

capital punishment
arguments against

feel passionately
(i.e. for and against)
+ /-

T itle:

H ow ever

Note that the general sentence states a negative idea about Road deaths Iin E uropel. Against
this negative background, the positive remedy to the situation is expressed in the topic sentence.
This implies that the title asks you about measures (+1 to improve the
situation.
If you now look back at essay titles I and 2 in Exercise I, you should be able to see the same
connection between the title and introduction.
Titles:

What measures could be taken to reduce the number o f road deaths in Europe?
Discuss the measures to reduce the number o f road deaths in Europe.

What are the arguments against capital punishment?


Discuss the arguments against capital punishment.

Note the use of H ow ever to em phasise the contrast betw een feel passionately (+/-) and
arguments against(-).

Uy now you should be aware o f the fact that your introduction must link with the title
both cohesively and coherently. You should also realise that, while you are writing,
you must always look back to the text you have written to make sure it is well
connected. If you can learn to link your introduction with your title correctly, half the
battle in writing an essay is won.

Now compare the structure o f this introduction with that o f essay titles 5 and 7 in Exercise 1.
2.

T itle:

The general sentence gives you the general subject in the essay title IBanninpl
smoking in public places. The word controversy, in the first sentence, and the words
arguments for and against, in the second, tell you that the title asks you to discuss the
pros and cons o f banning smoking in public places. Note that the word controversy
is an organising or topic word. The topic sentence then expands, or translates, the
word controversy into arguments for and against. This gives you more specific words
around which you can organise your essay.

In this introduction, the general subject of the essay, poverty, and the topic o f the essay,
consequences, are contained in one sentence. The essay is obviously not about a description of
poverty itself; the topic is, the consequences of poverty.
With this information, you should be able to work out the title.
Title:
What are the consequences o f poverty ?
Discuss the consequences o f poverty.

Smoking in public places should be banned. Discuss.


5.

If you look at the cohesion between the two sentences, the organisation is as follows:
Controversy

+ /-

arguments for and against

therefore

+ /-

Again, start with the topic sentence to find the organising or focus word for the essay:
benefits. The general subject is legalising cannabis. Looking back at the general
sentence from the topic sentence, the word however tells you that there is a contrast
between the two sentences. The contrast is as follows:
A. a subject that has
aroused considerable
debate

The word therefore links and emphasises the translation o f the word controversy. Notice that,
when you read the two sentences, you stress the word therefore.

+ /-

C.

B . how ever

benefits

Compare what you have written with title number 4 in Exercise 1.


3.

The relationship between the two sentences will again help you to work out the
title. The general subject of this essay is Road deaths Iin Europel. The title, however,
does not ask you to write about this. The organising word measures in the topic sentence
gives you a clue to the focus or topic. The organisation is:
General sentence

Topic sentence

Road deaths
in Europe
-

90

measures
how ever

In the general sentence, phrase A describes the general subject. It also gives you a setting, or
background, for the word benefits C.
The general subject and the topic word give you a clue to the title. It is obviously something to
do with the benefits o f legalising cannabis.
T itle:
What are the benefits o f legalising cannabis?
Discuss the benefits o f legalising cannabis.
Compare this title with essay titles 5 and 7 in Exercise I and with I above.

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91

To work out the essay question in this case is not as easy as the other titles in this
exercise. Starting with the topic sentence you can see that the topic word is m easures.
You can also see from the phrase Even so. in the topic sentence, that there is a contrast
between the topic sentence and the general sentence. The contrast is between the
measures in the topic sentence and the sound method for reducing pollution mentioned in the general sentence. This implies that the title stated that recycling waste
materials is the best way to reduce pollution and that you are asked to discuss it.
D iscuss here means: describe the wav mentioned in the title and, perhaps, other
methods as w ell. It is very unlikely that discuss here would mean talk about the
arguments for and against.

Compare the title and explanation for essay title 8 Exercise 1. You could rewrite the introduction
here by using although. Note, however, that this is not an opinion essay.

Title:
Recycling waste paper, glass and scrap metal is the best way to reduce pollution.
Discuss.
7.

This introduction gives a statement that is contained in the title: a little knowledge is
a dangerous thing. The organising words (cases and circumstances') tell you that you
are going to describe/discuss the areas where this statement is true or false.

Title:
A little knowledge is a dangerous thing. Discuss.
8.

The general subject is public and private means o f transport. The organising words
are advantages and disadvantages.

Title:
Compare the advantages and disadvantages o f private and public transport.
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages o f private and public transport.
9.

Look first to the topic sentence to find the topic/focus o f the essay. You can see that
there is no word that is easily recognisable as an organising word, e.g. measures,
benefits, etc. However, you have the phrase As far as I am concerned, and unaccept
able. which show that the essay is about expressing your opinion about a particular
issue. Turning now to the general sentence, you can see that the general subject is
corporal punishm ent.

Notice that the general sentence gives you general information that is neither negative nor
positive, but that the topic sentence is negative. The contrast is between the fact that corporal
punishment exists and the w riters opinion against.
If we now examine the title, we can see that these two elem ents, the general subject and the
topic phrase, reflect the title.

Title:
Corporal punishment in schools should be banned. What is your opinion o f this
statem ent?
Should corporal punishment in schools be banned?

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6.

10.

In this introduction, the general subject of the essay, the depiction o f oil resources,
and the topic of the essay, alternative forms of energy, are contained in one sentence.

Compare Title (> in Exercise I .


With this information, you should be able to work out the title.
Title:
Oil resources are now running out. What alternative sources o f energy are available?

Key lo Exercise 3
2.

You can adapt j> as follows:


The legalisation o f euthanasia is an issue which arouses enormous controversy.
There are, therefore, many arguments fo r and against, but, in my opinion, such a
practice should definitely be banned.

You could also adapt introduction h.


3.

You can adapt fi as follows:


Although many people support the legalisation o f euthanasia, there are many dangers
involved in such a practice.

You could also adapt introduction f.


4.

The answ er to this is the sam e as number 1.

5.

You can adapt b as follows:


Making euthanasia legal is an issue which arouses enormous controversy. There are,
therefore, many arguments fo r and against.

(>.

You can adapt c as follows:


Although many people are violently opposed to the legalisation o f euthanasia, there
are a number o f benefits to this practice.
You could also adapt introduction f. Compare 3 above.

7.

You can adapt d as follows:


Hie legalisation o f euthanasia has both advantages and disadvantages.

N.

Y ou c m

m liip t

a s fo llo w s :

Making euthanasia legal is a controversial issue. There are, however, many strong
arguments against this practice.
9 ,

Y o u c u n i h I i i |U f u s f o l l o w s :

Making euthanasia legal is a controversial issue. There are, however, many strong
arguments against this practice.
N n l r llin t y o u m i l r e p l u c r u ^ u iu M

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93

Key to Exercise 4
9 = m
Reasons

(a)

(b)

more jobs/better prospects


better facilities
entertainment is accessible
greater variety of jobs
greater anonymity
more exciting
living in small towns is boring
greater variety of entertainment
greater variety of leisure facilities
faster pace o f life
better health facilities
better educational facilities
better services

Key to Exercise 5

Disadvantages
overcrowding
noise
pollution
health hazards
crime
cities can be very ugly
less friendly
faster pace o f life
isolation
dont know your neighbours

Essay Plan 1
Obesity is a problem which is on the increase in many parts
of the world, especially in affluent societies. However,
several e flee Iiv e r)lie asurekicx ist to tackle the problem.
In my opinion, the most iiiiportantiwavlis to educate the
general public.
___.-----

Anolhcrfjitcplis to encourage parents not to buy sweets or


junk food for children.
Persuading people to change thcn' ljfe styles and take up
some exercise is vet another possible (Course of action?)

Note
1.

W hen some students see an essay title, they have no ideas to write about. If you are
one of these students, take your essay title and make a list o f any ideas which are
connected with the title, like the chaotic jum ble in the exercise. Do not exclude any
idea. Then pick out the ideas which are connected with the focus o f your essay. This
is what you have already done in this exercise.

2.

Above, you have the ideas for two other essays. You can combine the two together
and you have the ideas for the following title:

As we have seen, there are a number of (wavs) to reduce


obesity in rich countries.

Essay Plan 2

What are the advantages and disadvantages o f living in cities?


and in (a):
What are the advantages o f living in cities?
3.

W hether mercy-killing is a moral act or not is an issue


about which many people feel very strongly. Personally,
however, I am largely against the practice of euthanasia for
a number offreasons)

You can also create more ideas. For example, look at list (a). You can create a
disadvantage by making any idea negative:
entertainment is accessible/entertainment is inaccessible
O f course, the same is true for the disadvantage list.

MyCpiain argument against.is that human beings do not have


the right Tcrpl;ty\G63.

So you see the problem is not a lack of ideas, but having too many, and perhaps controlling
them!

AnothcKfgnson 1 am agaii]st)thc practice is because one can


never be sun/that the patient is, in fact, terminally ill.
In certain circumstances, however, there is some
( j pstilii aiiop^for the practice of euthanasia.
All m all. I feel that euthanasia should be banned.

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C C 1111 u 0141 I H l H B 5 5 S H E 11

Essay Plan 3

Essay Plan 6

Public debate about the morality of mercy-killing has grown


in intensity in recent years. There are, therefore, many
(areuments)both for and against the issue.

To conclude, there are manyfiifgumcntjbin favour of using


animal organs for human transplants.

As we have seen, there are manyrSrgumentsiroth for and against.

. . . I S . yet another soundrfcason for iustifyinjMhe


transplantation of animal organsjin humans.

In/certain circumstances, however, there is strong


CjustiflcationTor mercy-killing, provided there are strict
safeguards.
----------

A InilhcKqrgumcqEin favour of transplanting animal organs

M any/people are fundamentally opposed to euthanasia,


(argumg)that it is not always possible to be completely sure that a
patE nt is, in fact, terminally ill.

--------

Thecfmmi reason foDthis is that humans arc more important than


animals.

The mairr^rgumenbagainst is that human beings do not have


the right ttfplay God.

The use o f animal organs for transplants in humans caused


quite a stir recently. Thctqryumcnljofor such transplants,
however, are overwhelming.

Essay Plan 7
Accidents in the home are increasing at an alarming rate,
and yet many of them could be easily avoided with a little
care.

Another(tecimique)would be to attach warning labels to


household goods.
Persuading manufacturers to looR'at-ways to make certain
goods safe to use is yet another possihlejriourse of actions
There may be othert^ep^that people can take, but these are
the most important.

As we have seen, taking exercise is fraught, withfflanger)

A furtherAvavUhat people can endanger their health is by


training tob hard. ' --------- --- --------

A notheidiazarttis that, if someone already has a minor


injury, exercise may make it worse.

The most obvious(wav)is to educate the general public about


the problem.
^

The mairfdangef)is that people start exercising without


taking propctjadvice^

Exercise o f every kind is becoming increasingly popular


among all age groups. Few people realise, however, how much
they are putting their health at risk

Essay Plan 4

Essay Plan 8

Essay Plan 5

Testing everyone in the medical field for HIV would lead to


all kinds ofm oblem s^

The biggestrqu7mdary)would be deciding who to test.

l ot m e. the iiiainqirgiunciiftliguinst war is the cost in terms of


human lives.
Aiiotliem'usuu vvljyol am against war is the senseless

destruction.

**** ,

AnotheirmoTdem'iwould he the matter o f cost.

As tin as I am concerned, there is nothing totjustifvAvar.

Last, but not lits t. is the waste o f resources.


"""" s
In conclusion, there is no'juslilicatiyu'iuTWiii

96

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In my opinion, such a programrntTwtrold-beinroossiMe, because


it would result in immense organisationalCdjfficulties^

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97

Essay Plan 9

Key to Exercise 8

Like all people, there are manydTrjngs that I jishlc& very


m uch: most o f them are connectetjAvith living in the modern
world.

At the top of mv list ofCpet hates)come mobile phones.

ii

After doing the first two exercises, you should not have any problems with
Sentences I and 2.

In relation to the contrast in number 2 below, this sentence is a concession. Join


the first two sentences together with although and leave out the word Never
theless. Sentence I then becomes the concession after although.

g/li

This is the topic sentence for the essay and contains the organising words: I
lccl/reusons.

Nevertheless marks the sentence as a contrast to the concession in the previous


sentence. The phrase ...totally unacceptable contrasts with contributed enor
mously in sentence 1.

Another of mv(dishkes)is noise.


2.

M otorbikes also fill me withCjqathing)


Finally, people who complain all the time(annovjTTe)intenselv.

Key to Exercise 6

| personally leel indicates this sentence is expressing an opinion.

i|/li

Like essays, paragraphs also have topic/organising sentences. The organising


word or topic word is reason. See Exercise 5.

2. a regret (If o n ly .. h a d come!).

The reason is the suffering that animals have to endure during tests.

3. an opinion; a subjective argument. Note the word M y.

l>/in The word reason here connects with the word reasons in the second sentence.
This paragraph will develop the w riters main argument against vivisection.

1
1. a fact. Note the use of the Present Simple: rises and sets.

4. an objective argument. Note the word The [m ain...]


5. an opinion fl feel): a development o f the previous sentence (Such/could): a tenta
tive/possible result (could).

6. an opinion (I feel): a development of the previous sentence (Such/would): a hypo


thetical, but definite result (w ould!.
7. an opinion (I feel): a development o f the previous sentence (Such/will: a real, definite
result twill!.

5.

I'

Following on from m , then f is also true.

I)

This is specifically an expansion of the word tests.

You could also think of this as a general example of the more specific example
in the next sentence,

The sentence could also be called an explanation.

1)

This is specifically an expansion o f laboratory experim ents. Note here the


development: tests [noun] laboratory experiments [noun phrase]; test [verb],

(I

This sentence gives a specific example of the laboratory experiments in sentence

(See Sentence 2). There is no word or phrase specifically stating that this is the
w riters opinion. 1lowever, you can see from sentence 2 that he is against animal
experiments. Therefore, you can take this sentence as a statement o f his opinion,

8. a possibility; an example; a development of the previous sentence (These/could).


9. a fact. Stating an advantage.

2.

10. a real definite result tAs a result/will! .


6.

11. a weak possibility (m ight).


12. a weak possibility (might.).
13. a criticism. Note the exclamation mark at the end of the sentence.
14.

a statement.

15.

an example; a possibility.

This is an explanation, i.e. of tests, in sentence 3.

I'

This is an argument against animal experiments.

Note the word however. The phrase appalling pain and torture for the vanity of
human beings contrasts with to make sure they are safe for hum ans.

Note that you may be able to give different names to some of the sentences.
7.

Key to Exercise 7

98

1.

2. b .d .

3. a. b. d.

4.

a. c.

5. a. b. c.

6. a. b. c.

7.

a. c .d .

8. d.

9. c .d .

10.

a. b .d .

a book on writing

This sentence provides alternative solutions.

Notice the two suggestions in this sentence: one with should and the other with
could The first one indicates the w riters opinion. The second one is a tentative
suggestion, which is really like an example put forward for consideration, but it
is not very strong,

Note the use of Instead.

The word should carries the w riter's opinion. (See Exercise 12).

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99

This is the first argument for animal experiments.

The phrase The main counter argument indicates the writer is stating a contrast
with his own opinion.

In relation to sentence 10, this sentence and the next one is a concession. Note
the word Still in Sentence 10.

9. o

Furtherm ore shows that the w riter is stating another argum ent for animal
experiments.

See Sentence 8.

10. p

Still marks the contrast.

Note the use of in mv opinion.

This final sentence o f the paragraph restates the w riters opinion, which he
revealed in the topic sentence, number 2. Note that there is no connecting word
to indicate that it is a conclusion. It is obvious.

11.

See Sentence 3.

Note
1.

You m ay be able to think of other words or terms to describe the function of the above
sentences.

2.

As you can see, it is possible for a sentence to have more than one function. It is
hardly surprising, therefore, that we make mistakes in writing when we have to
think about the gram mar as w ell as th e m e a n in g o f se n te n c e s.

Key to Exercise 9
1. j

2.

3. I

4. f

5.

6. h

7. b
Sentences a,

8.

d and

9. i

g do not match any o f the questions.

Key to Exercise 10

100

1.

2.

3. f

4.

5.

6. a

7.

8.

9. d

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8. o

Key to Exercise 11
In the answers below, you will sec what the writer thought about the text he was writing, and
then the questions he created to help him develop the text.
As you read the 'thoughts and Questions below, think about the relationship between the text
and the questions.

2.

Thoughts:

Question:

Answer:

The essay title asks me


what I should do to
improve the lot o f the
elderly; that must mean
the teacher/examiner
thinks the situation is bad.

What can I write generally


about the elderly in the UK?
W hat can I write to show
the situation for elderly
people is not good?

The U K, like other


countries in Europe, has
an increasingly ageing
population, yet it is a pity
that the elderly are not
properly looked after or
cared for.

Thoughts:
Question:
My previous statement is
How many ways are there to
(he background for my
im prove the lot o f elderly
next sentence, which needs people?
to reflect the focus o f the
title.
I must also get a focus, or
organising, word into my
introduction as soon as
possible to stop myself
from wandering round in
circles. This will guide me
as I write, and give the
reader a direction as well.

Answer:
There are many ways,
however, in which the lot
of elderly people in this
country can be improved.

Thoughts:

Question:

Answer:

I need to develop the word


ways. I need to state a
specific measure.

Can I state a specific


measure to improve the
situation of elderly people?
W hat measure can I suggest?

The first step that needs


to be taken is to improve
the living conditions of
all old people.

Thoughts:
I'd like here to say
something about housing
in the UK at the moment.

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Question:

Answer:

Can I give some statistical


information? If so, what?

According to statistics,
there are over one
million dwellings which
have been declared unfit
for habitation.

101

6.

7.

8.

9.

Thoughts:
I must rem ember that I am
writing about elderly
people and must not get
side-tracked into talking
generally about housing. I
need to return to the topic
at hand.
Thoughts:
In Sentence 3 , 1 made a
suggestion which is quite
general. I need to be more
specific here.

Answer:
O ut o f these, at least half
a million are occupied by
the elderly.

Question:
Can I expand on Sentence
3? Can I make a more
specific suggestion or
proposal which is a logical
development of the previous
sentence? Yes, I can. W hat?

Answer:
Special houses should,
therefore, be built, which
are cheap, and designed
in such a way that they
are easily accessible.

Thoughts:
I have said accessible here;
the reader may not know
exactly what I mean.

Question:
W hat do I mean by
accessible? Can I explain
myself more fully?

Answer:
By this I m ean, they
ought to have special
provision for those who
have joint problems or
difficulty in walking.

Thoughts:
Id like to make another
suggestion which is a
specific solution and
develops Sentences 3 and 6.

Question:
Can I make another
suggestion or proposal
which is a logical
development o f Sentences 3
and 6? If so, what?

Answer:
Moreover, all the basic
amenities should be
nearby, so that the old
will not have any trouble
purchasing their food
and other articles o f daily
use.

Thoughts:
I have mentioned two areas
for improvement:
accessibility and local
amenities. Surely, heating
is also important.

10. Thoughts:
I need to say something
more about heating as
regards the elderly.

102

Question:
W hat can I write about
elderly people and housing?

Question:
W hat other improvement
could be made to the living
conditions o f elderly people?

Question:
W hat should be done about
heating, and why?

Answer:
The provision o f
adequate heating is a
further improvement that
could be made.

Answer:
These homes should be
provided with proper
heating facilities, as the
elderly are susceptible to
cold.

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5.

Thoughts:
I'd like to give a
conclusion which is
dramatic and shows the
consequence of inadequate
heating.

12. Thoughts:
I want to change to a new
area. I also need to start a
new paragraph.

Q uestion:
How many old people die of
cold each year?

Answer:
It is estimated that
hundreds of people who
arc old and frail die of
hypothermia in their
homes each winter.

Question:

Answer:

What other area is important


for elderly people?

Another area which


requires attention is food.

Key lo Exercise 12
1.

com es. The writer wants to state his opinion (a fact) about the real world at the present
time. He, therefore, uses the Present Simple tense.
The Present Continuous (is coming) is not suitable, because it expresses a temporary
action, which happens around Now.

2.

is. The word m uch, the subject o f the impersonal verb, is singular.
For would he. sec would in 5 below.

3.

think. The writer wants to show that the duration o f his opinion is not temporary.
Therefore, he cannot use the Present Continuous - see 1 above.

4.

should. In the first sentence, the writer described the present conditions in the world,
which lie thinks are unsatisfactory. The word should:
u puts forward a proposal or suggestion about how to improve this situation.
u modifies the verb encourage to express the w riters attitude, i.e. his opinion.
u

is subjective.

u is hypothetical.
You cannot use would to make a suggestion in this sentence. [See 5 below]. You
could, however, change the sentence round to read: Encouraging young people to
k ill ll mure languages would be a good idea. This sentence depends on a hidden
condition, i.e. il the government did encourage young people to learn more languages.
Note llial the word would does not carry any attitude here; it is neutral and objective.
You can use might to put forward a tentative (weak) proposal. If you look at the
question itself, should indicates that you arc being asked for proposals which you
think are desirable. M ighl here is. therefore, unlikely.

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103

ii
would. Here the writer wants to show a result of the proposal/recommendation in the
previous sentence.

The condition is in the fir s t p art o f this sentence, i.e. in the if clause. The inevitable
result, which depends on the condition, is in the second part. The word w ould:
u develops a new condition in some way, e.g. to express a result.
u shows that this developm ent is inevitable, provided that the new condition
exists.
u shows that your thoughts about the developm ent are on a new level. They
belong to a world that does not exist, i.e. they are hypothetical.
u is neutral and objective. It does not carry any attitude. (Compare should.!
The repetition of should is not necessary, as the writer has already shown his attitude
in the previous sentence. He just wants to develop the proposal and show the
consequences. Note that should is not incorrect, but it is weaker than would as a result.
(It should, but it may not happen.) Again, the word might is too tentative. It is unlikely
that the writer would develop and support his argument with such a weak word.
Regarding brings about, we are not in the real w orld, but in an imaginary state created
by the writer with the word should in the previous sentence. The Present Simple in
brings about expresses a fact, which is too definite. Look at the development in the
next two sentences.
6.

7.

give. The clue is in the words at the moment as they show that the writer has now
moved back into the real world. He wants to give a real example to support his
proposal. Hence, the use of the Present Simple tense.
could usefully b e . The first part o f this sentence states the present reality. The second
part contrasts the unsatisfactory reality with a hypothetical possibility.(See but.)
The words are usefully are obviously ridiculous. W ith the Present Simple there is no
contrast (see but) between the two parts o f this sentence. The impossibility o f are
usefully helps us to see the need for a contrast at a different level, i.e. the reality and
unreality.
The use of would usefully be is not suitable. The writer is not stating a result here,
but a possibility.

8.

could. The writer is putting forward another proposal. He also wants to show that his
support for this proposal/new condition is not as strong as his first one in sentence 3.
He is saying that the proposal is for our consideration rather than saying he thinks it
is desirable. In other words, it is a possible solution/tentative proposal. The writer
also wants to avoid repeating the word should.
For would compare 4 and 5 above.
The word might is too tentative/weak here.

9.

104

could. See the explanations for 8 .The writer is only expanding his proposal, which
he put forward in the previous sentence. The example is hypothetical.

a b o o k on writing

i i oi i ooi oiii i i o111 on

C om pare: If governments encouraged their people, especially young people, to learn


more languages, this would bring about closer contact between different cultures and
people.

10. have. The writer is talking about a state that exists already.

5.

ate lutviajiThe slate is not temporary, so the writer cannot use the Present Continu
ous.
do have is too emphatic.
11

have becom e. The writer has moved back into the real world to describe a real
situation there.
would becom e. Where is the unreal condition (even a hidden one) for the would to
depend on? There isn't one. Also we are now in the real world.
could becom e. We are back in the real world and the writer is stating what has
happened rather than what could happen, if... Again, where is the condition, even
a hidden one?

12. would go. II there could be more informal sporting events, they... The writer is
now returning to give the result of the condition he created in the first sentence of this
paragraph.
This sentence depends on the condition created in the first sentence of the paragraph.
It is the result o f this condition. The sentence contrasts the hypothetical result with
the unsatisfactory reality o f the previous sentence. (Note however.)

Note, therefore, the sequence of tenses:


1.

Fact/opinion - comes

2.

Fact - is

3.

O pinion - think

4.

Proposal - should encourage

5.

Hypothetical Result - would bring about

(>.

Fact/Example - give

7.

Example/Possibility - could usefully be

8.

Tentative Proposal- could be

9,

Example/Possibility

It).

Fact

have

11.

Fact

have become

12.

Hypothetical Result

could organise

would go

Note how the verb forms relied the function of each sentence and also mark the relationships
between the sentences, In this sense, they help to connect a text.

a book on w ritin g

105

2.

7.

3.

8.

4.

9.

5.

6.

10.

Conclusion for the second essay only

The rem aining sentences put forward a particular cause o f drug addiction and state
your opinion. They answer the following essay question:
Drug addiction among the young in the UK stems largely fro m the disintegration o f
the fam ily. What is your opinion ?

Note
In the topic sentence, 2A, there is no noun which acts as a focus or organising word. Then in
3B, you have an organising noun: m ethod. In 2A, a focus word (like approach, way, method)
is, in effect, contained in the verb: [if it] is approached.
As you read, look for similar examples of this way of connecting. (Compare the Key to Exercise
36.6 and 36.11.)

Key to Exercise 14
13,11, 14, 1 0 ,4 ,6 ,7 , 1.

a book on writing

U 2 1 5 5 5 3 2 i !2 2 0 I I 1 1 112 2 2 1

Key to Exercise 13

Key to Exercise 15
1.

Adverbs besides, consequently, however, moreover, thus, though, what is more


Conjunctions: and, though, although, if, where, when, while, but

Note that though can be an adverb and a conjunction.


See 4 below for the word hut.
2.

A conjunction is a word which joins two sentences together into one unit. An adverb
connects two sentences, but the sentences still remain separate units, with a fullstop
or semicolon between them.

3.

T h e an sw er is (a); h u l is a conjunction and how ever is an adverb (see 4 b e lo w ).


However is used as follows:
(it) The steps that have been taken are admirable. However, they may be too late
to do any good.
or
(b) The steps that have been taken are admirable; however, they may be too late
to do any good.
Note that you may also place the word however after the word may and at the end of
the sentence:
(c ).. .They may, however, be too late to do any good.
(d ).. .They may be too late to do any good, however.

4.

T he answer is yes and no. But is a conjunction, and so the text should read as follows:
...adm irable, hut... Many people now use but in the same way as however. So in
answer 1 above, they would say the word but is an adverb as well.

5.

The two words are both conjunctions, but look at the following examples:
(i) The steps that have been taken are adm irable, but they may be too late to
do any good.
(ii) Although the steps that have been taken are admirable, they may be too late
to do any good.
(iii) They may be too late to do any good, but the steps that have been taken are
admirable.
(iv) A llhough they may be too late to do any good, the steps that have been
taken are admirable.

Note, first of all. the positions o f although and hut in the sentences.
The basic d ifferen ce is that although in troduces the part o f the sen ten ce w hich
contains the concession and hill introduces the part with the contrast. In m ost cases,
it is up to you which aspect o f the relationship you wish to highlight. That is why all
the above are possible.
It is, however, not always possible to change the clauses around; the second sentence
below does not make sense.
M lln n ig li It wits 2 0

) f she went out w ithout a coot.

Although she went o u t w ith o u t a c o o t, it w a s - 2 0 ) C .

a book on w ritin g

107

6. You can use yet as a conjunction or an adverb. Note you can say and vet, but not and
but. Compare 3 and 4 above.

5. They all indicate a result.


6. The answer is u. because the word otherwise is an adverb. You therefore need a
semicolon or a lull stop alter the word carefully and a comma after otherw ise.

7. On the other hand. Many students think this phrase means the same as In addition.
etc. It means by contrast.

7. Although is a conjunction, despite is a preposition and in spite of a prepositional


phrase. Note that the verb is in the -ing form after Despite and In spite o f.

8. With words that express feelings, e.g. admire, approve, disapprove, dislike, enjoy,
sympathise. For example:

Although lie played a m ajor role in the peace process, his achievement went
unrecognised.

Much as I disapproved o f the policy, it was introduced.


9. namely. The others introduce examples from a list o f items: namely introduces the
complete list.

Despite playing a major role in the peace process, his achievement went
unrecognised.

10. The words Take and is are two main verbs without any connecting word. You
therefore need a full stop or a semicolon after the word example, not a comma:

In spite o f playing a m ajor role in the peace process, his achievement went
unrecognised.

. ..exam ple. It is also a sp o rt...

You can also say:

.. .example; it is also a sp o rt...

In spite o f the fa c t that he played...


Despite the fa c t that he p la yed ...

Key to Exercise 16
1.

It is an adverb.

2.

You can divide the first sentence into two parts:

8. You need a relative pronoun after the word measures, that/which.


9

(i)

A man appeared...

(ii)

.. .round the corner and walked briskly along the street.

The word A shows you that this is the first time this person has been mentioned. The
article the with com er and street shows you that these places are already part o f the
story, picture or context.
Another way to help you understand this is that the first sentence is divided into two
parts: (i) new information; and (ii) old information. Look at the second sentence; you
can see that A man has now become The man [old information]. The new information
comes with the indefinite article a ... a shop. As you write, and read, keep this old/new
balance in mind. You should now be able to work out which word fills the blank: the
(old information).
See Exercises 29 and 30 for more information on the old/new division in cohesion.

10. matter, issue, subject, question. Note that each o f these words can refer to the text
which comes after the colon. Compare 3 above. See Exercises 23 to 28.

K ey

to Exercise 17

1.

4.

You need to avoid the repetition o f the phrase alcohol advertisements. If you use the
plural pronoun they here, it could refer to problem s, which is possible, but it is the
alcohol advertisements that the writer wants to refer to. You could use such adver
tisements or advertising alcohol [ ... causes], or alcohol advertising [ ... causes].
In (a), in the end means after a time and contrasts with At first. You could not use
finally here.
In (b), finally indicates the last step in a sequence: First... .N ext... then... .and Finally.
You can replace it with Last or Lastly here.
In (c). finally is part o f another sequence o f steps: F irstflv l.... Secondtlv)... finally.
^ Note you could replace finally here with thirdtlvl and tastily 1.

a book on writing

Answer: b
U does not make sense. The desired result or purpose o f tightening the censorship
laws is to bring the media under stricter control.

2.

Answer; a
Therefore is an adverb. It can link two sentences together, but it cannot make them
into one unit. (Compare in Exercises 15.1. 15.2 and 15.3.)

For the articles in connections within a text, see Exercise 26.


3.

First is part o f a list of points. I ., 2., 3., etc. It can be followed by second(lv) and also
then/next, etc. At first is connected only with time. It means at the beginning o f a
period and contrasts with in the end. You can use in the beginning instead o f at first.
Sec 4 above.

3.

Answer: a
You cannot use Although and bid together in this way. You can, however, use yet,
as the word yet is used as an adverb here. (See Exercise 15.6.)

4.

Answer: b
besides is an adverb with the same meaning as In addition, etc. The word beside is a
preposition meaning next to.

5.

Answer: a
Even so is an adverb, Ii cannot make two sentences into one unit. It is slightly stronger
in meaning than however.

a book on w ritin g

109

6. Answer: a

Key Co Exercise 1*1

The word s q in the second part o f the sentence introduces a purpose. You cannot
therefore use a comma before s q .
Compare:

1.

W hen/Onec/As soon as he h a d .............................................................................

Jane and Diva got up early, so they were able to catch the fir s t train.

2.

If/If only action h a d ................................................................................................

Now you can use a comma before s q , because the second clause i s a result. Compare
the verb forms in the second part o f each sentence.

.1.

Now that/Sincc/W hen/As soon as the exams are o v e r .....................................

4.

There are many things you can do to get exercise, like w alking ....................

5.

Once/W hen/If/As soon as the referee s e e s .........................................................

6.

Although television h a s ..........................................................................................

7.

There are many steps th at/w h ich ..........................................................................

8.

W hether the law o n .................................................................................................

9.

Unless the leak is m ended......................................................................................

Also compare 11a below.


7. Answer: b
a is obviously illogical. Although introduces a concession, not a reason. Note the
position o f the clause with the word because in it, at the beginning of the sentence.
8. Answer: a.
See Exercise 15.8. Even is not a conjunction. If you wrote Even though, then the
sentence would be correct.

10......................................... left the restaurant so that the ow ner could close early.

9. Answer: b

11. Maureen teaches botany and Violet teaches history.

Like gives examples out o f many possibilities and namely introduces a list o f all the
possibilities.

12. W hereas/Although the number of car accidents i s ...........................................

10. Answer: b

or

4*

See 9 above.
11. Answer: a

See 2 above.

1.

Relationship: Concession/contrast

j
a

Relationship: Cause/effect-result

3.

Relationship: Cause/effect-result

4.

Relationship: Concession/contrast

5.

Relationship: Reason/statement

6.

Relationship: Statement-assertion/purpose

7.

g
c

8.

Relationship: Cause/effect-result

9.

Relationship: Cause/effect

10.

Relationship: Condition/result

11.

Relationship: Statementlconcession

12.

Relationship: Warning/result

13.

Relationship: Condition/result

IK)

C = JD >
C

13.............................. ; all in all the holiday was a disaster.


14.

Key to Exercise 18

2.

but, in other co u n tries,...............................................................

At first the violence o c c u rre d .............................................................................

Now that you know the answers, repeat the exercise and see how quickly the connectors
come to mind. After you have repeated the exercise several times, you should be able to
feel where you need to put the connecting devices.

t =

^ 3

1 =

Relationship: Concession/contrast

a book on writing

a book on w ritin g

Suggested text:

Private vehicles play a key role in our lives, as they provide independent transport, freedom
and many jobs. A t the same time, however, they cause pollution, traffic jam s, noise and
death.
Firstly, private transport, especially the car, gives us freedom to move, so we no longer
need to organise our lives around bus or train timetables. In fact, many people think that
their cars are such indispensable machines that they cannot live without them. For example,
many people who live in rural areas need private vehicles for shopping, socialising, taking
children to schools etc. Without a car. their lives would be very difficult, and they would
be forced to rely on infrequent public transport, if it existed at all. That is why many families
who live in the country have one or more cars; otherwise they would be cut off from the
rest o f the world. Hence, for many people a car is a necessity.

Notes
Sentences 1 and 2. You can also use because and since.
Sentence 3. At the same time emphasises the contrast. Notice the change in rhythm
of the text if you leave it out.
Sentences 4 and 5. This is a different way o f saying therefore, accordingly, etc.
Sentence 6. You could also have o f course and indeed. If you put M oreover, or words
or phrases with a similar meaning, it is correct. It just changes the relationship as
regards meaning between the two sentences.
Sentence 7. There are many variations here. You could have:
M any people think that their cars are so indispensable that they cannot live without
them.
Many people think that their cars are indispensable machines. As a result/Consequently/etc, they cannot live without them.
Sentence 11. See Sentences 4/5/7 above.
Sentence 12. Note that otherwise is an adverb. You can have a semicolon or a full
stop here.
Sentence 13. You could also use Thus/Therefore.

Now read the text several times with and without the connecting words. You can see that
the sequence of short sentences in the original does not read very well. Try therefore to
avoid writing short sentences one after another.
Before you write your own essays, read the two versions above so that you can learn to
feel where the connectors in a text should be.

112

a b o o k o n writing

1Sy1 ] 1 y I H-J fH S! y J 5!!! ui

Key to Exercise 20

Key (o Exercise 21
A.
II.

11

b.

c.

d.

c.

f.

10

h.

12

i.

j.

k.

1.

in. 13
It. K s s u v title :

l)<> you <if>rcc that sex education should be taught in all schools at secondary level?
When you are writing always put the title at the top of the page, as this will help guide you as
you write. In an exam, if the title is very long, it may not be possible to do this. In that case,
keep referring to the title to make sure you are answering the question correctly.

Note
When you have checked your answ er with the Key, you can repeat the exercise as many times
as you want. Try and put in the missing words and phrases automatically. The more you repeat
the exercise, the easier it becomes.

Key to Exercise 22
Few people would deny the validity o f the , _ 6 _ saying. _ 4 _ the power of knowledge
exerts a considerable force.
10 As some politicians have access to many sources o f information, they possess
a formidable weapon: power. _ 1 4 _ they are able to control the lives o f the general
public. 3 _ , when politicians want public support for a particular cause, all they have
to do is put forward the positive aspects o f their proposals and hide the negative. The
public, ignorant of the whole picture, _ 1 3 _ lend their support to the politicians cause.
2 , other politicians are also controlled. _ 5 _ the general public and other
politicians, through lack of knowledge, are at the mercy of the politician who possesses
knowledge, and _ 8 _ power.
I
When someone applies for a job, _ 12__, the success ofthe application depends,
17 . on the knowledge o f the person who applies. _ 1 5 _ knowledge involves
skills,
Hi
knowing how best to complete the application form; using the correct
language; or how to write the accompanying letter. _ 11 _ , the success o f the applica
tion will depend on the applicant's display of knowledge about the post applied for.
7
success oi failure will largely be dependent on his/her accumulation o f knowl
edge,
9
lie/she can deal effectively with others and not be manipulated by them,
too much.

a b o o k o n w ritin g

113

1. solution
The first sentence is a measure/proposal/recommendation/suggestion. The word
solution, however, is the only one which fits the structure o f the latter part o f the
second sentence. The phrase to the problem limits your choice o f words here.
2. situation, fact, problem
If you wanted to make a strong statement about the situation,you could use crime
here. The word you use depends on how you view the situation.
3. damage
The word situation is also perhaps possible here.
4. measure proposal recommendation suggestion idea
The word should shows that the writer is making a .suggestion/proposal/recommendation in the first sentence. The sentence also contains a measure that should be made
compulsory by legislation.
The word idea is suitable here as a reference word, but it is less specific than the word
suggestion, etc., in that it does not carry the opinion contained in the word should.
Note also that it does not carry the idea o f action which is intended to achieve an
effect, as in the word m easure. It is, therefore, a more general synonym.
5. amenities
This one is easy, because it is the only word in the plural. Can you think o f another
word that might fit in here? Is the word exactly what is required? Some people might
use facilities, but you normally find facilities in amenities.
6. violence, entertainment
It is interesting that the word which first comes to mind here, for some people, is
entertainm ent.
7. measure, idea
It is clear that the first sentence contains a measure, which is to be introduced. Notice
that you cannot use suggestion/recommendation/proposal here, as nothing is being
proposed. The measure has already been decided upon. Compare this sentence with
number 4 above.
Note that the word idea can be used here again. See Sentence 4 for an explanation.
8. idea, measure
N ote that suggestion/recommendation/proposal do not fit here. See 4 and 7 above.
9. entertainment
10. group
11. idea, move, plov. solution
Another word you could have here, which is not in the list, is m anoeuvre.

114

a b o o k o n writing

015 5 5 S3 5 HiHHrH 1HHHI H i m

Key to Exercise 23

Key to Exercise 24
I . practices. treatm ent. cruelty. 2. issue, situation, problem. 3. relationship, link,
connection. 4. trend, crn/.e. 5. option. 6. step, action. 7. advice. 8. encouragement.
9. condition, requirement. 10. outcome. 11. threat,disaster,catastrophe. 12. dilemma,
predicam ent.
You may, of course, have other words that are not listed above.
Note how the way you view the text affects the word you use. For example, in Sentence I the
word cruelly is much more forceful than treatm ent. In Sentence 11, you can see the negative
scale increasing from threat to catastrophe.

Key to Exercise 25
1. in fact/in effect/of course
Notice that there is no contrast between the two sentences. Moreover, the second
sentence is not a developm ent of the first; it is a fact related to the first sentence.
2. reasons
You cannot say causes behind. The title also asks you for reasons: Why...
3. devclopm ent/changc/trcnd/phenomenon
The first sentence does not describe a custom. (See Exercises 23 and 24). Note how
strong the connections are here: in fact - this developm ent.
4. health
The word condition is not specific enough. The next few sentences indicate the
meaning o f the word required. Note that the word health is looking forward in the
text.
3.

People
You need to avoid repetition in a text by looking for alternative words. (See Exercises
23/24/28).

f>. such ns/l'or example


N ote you have the word like later in the same sentence.

Again you need to avoid repetition. Note that the following alternatives are too
8

Moreover/Further, etc.
H ie phrase oil the other hand does not mean the same as in addition.

9.

They
This is the 11i i 11 1lime you have seen this phrase. You cannot use People again as this
would lie repetitive; hence, the pronoun.

Id peuple/llie public
You need to use a noun here, as the word you need to refer to is too far away.

a b o o k o n w ritin g

115

11. Similarly/Furthermore, etc.


You have probably seen the word and used at the beginning o f sentences. Note,
however, that the word is not an adverb of connection; it is a conjunction.
12. for example/such as/like
The word namely is wrong here, as you are only giving examples. You need to avoid
repeating the same word/phrase as at 6 above.

The word alleys is different. You have not seen the word in the context before, but
the writer lias written the definite article. The writer created a specific context with
sheets and cottages. 1Ic can see, in his mind, a specific picture with the cottages and
the nian: it is logical that the word alleys will fit into this context. Note that this is an
example of the text creating a specific context for a noun.
2.

The noun advice is uncountable. The context is specific; the phrase you gave me
defines the advice; it does not mean advice generally. Compare: Advice is always
difficult to follow.

.1,

In this sentence, we have two nouns, namely: developments/technology.T he context


for the first noun is general. We only know that the developments are new, but we
cannot define them or identify them. The noun is also countable and plural. You do
not, therefore, need tin article. Technology again is general, because we cannot define
which technology, and it is uncountable. You, therefore, do not need an article.

13. To avoid repetition above and in the next paragraph, you can use conventional
medicine as a synonym for orthodox m edicine.
14. To avoid repeating the words orthodox and m edicine, you can use alternative
treatm ents.
15. The word Another is needed here.
16. You need in contrast here.
17. People/the public
You need a noun here. See 10 above.

The word blind is an ad jective and it is used here to refer to a definite group of people.
The context here, which is specific, is outside the written text in the real world. There
are other groups in the world, like the young, the old, the poor, the rich, etc. Note that
the phrase is always plural. The word the connects the text with the world outside the
text.

18. To avoid repetition o f the word fear, you could use: are frightened of/are worried
about/dread/are afraid of/are terrified o f.
19. Thus/Hence
This sentence is the conclusion o f the paragraph.

4.

There arc five nouns: w alk. Studland. beach, ferry and hour. All of them, except
Sludland. are countable. The specific context for the words walk, beach and ferry are
created by the picture the writer has in his mind of Studland. Studland is in itself a
specific name; it, therefore, does not need a definite article to distinguish it from other
town names. Compare The Seychelles in Sentence 8. The context for hour is general;
you cannot define which hour or name a particular hour.

5.

There is only one noun: year. It is countable and its context is general, as the indefinite
article a tells you. The context cannot be definite, as you cannot point to a particular
year in your mind; it refers to any, or every, year.

6.

Cafe is countable and the context is general, because the writer is setting the scene.
Compare I above. In the second sentence, the word sun has the definite article before
it. flie context is in the real world outside the text. The sun always has a definite
article, because unless you go outside the solar system where the sun becomes a star,
the context never changes. In the solar system, there is only one sun. That is why it
is always definite.

20. turn
The word switch is too colloquial. Also, look at the title.

Key to Exercise 26
1.

In the first sentence, there are three nouns: man! street/cottages. To decide whether
to use an article or not and which one to use, you need to ask yourself several
questions, namely:
Is the noun countable or uncountable?
Is it singular or plural?
and
W hat is the context? Is it general or definite/specific? If it is specific/definite: is
the context in the text; is it created by the text; or is it in the world outside the
text?

flic context for the word sky is general, according to the way the writer is thinking.
I Ic could simply have said in the skv. Here, the adjective blue is descriptive; it is not
important enough to focus attention on the word skv.

The first sentence here is general. It sets the context for the sentences that follow. All
three nouns are countable. Therefore, two of the three countable nouns, man and
street, need the indefinite article (a) before them. The word cottages, which is plural,
does not need an article.
In the next sentence, you need to ask the same questions again. The word street is
countable. The context, which is now specific, was created in the previous sentence.
Therefore, you need the definite article the. In the third sentence, you have three
nouns: man/alleys/cottages. Again, you need to ask yourself the same questions for
each one. Man and cottages are countable; the context was created in the first sentence
and is obviously specific. Hence, you need the definite article.

116

a b o o k o n writing

In the third sentence, the two nouns room (countable) and chocolate (uncountable)
have definite articles They have not been mentioned in the text before, but we know
that loom fils within the specific context of the physical structure o f the cafe.
Llioeulute is definite, because it is the sort of drink that one drinks in cafes. Compare
1 above.
7.

I lie word Islands is countable and plural . The sentence is making a general statement
about islands Seychelles is countable, plural and definite, because the writer is talking
about a definite grouping ol islands called the Seychelles. I le is not talking about all
islands.

b o o k o n w ritin g

117

The writer o f the sentence is referring to all hives, so he has made the context
general. The context for the word queen has been created by The most important
bee and the word h ive.
Compare:
A bee lives in a hive and the leader of the hive is the queen.
Bees live in hives and their leaders are called queens.
9. The nouns with a definite context are exercise and blanks: word has a general context.
All three nouns are countable. Note the definite context for exercise, which is created
by the word follow ing. Also note the definite context for the word blanks which is
created by the word exercise.
10. In Sentence 2 you have three nouns, namely: attack, minutes and tim e. All the nouns
are countable. The definite context for the word attack was created in the first
sentence, so you need the definite article. You cannot say from the text which five
minutes the writer is talking about. In other words, you cannot pinpoint them exactly
inside or outside the text. The context is, therefore, general.
Again the context for the word time is general. You do not know which fimg the writer
is talking about and it is not important. As the noun is countable, you need a-

Key to Exercise 27

118

2.

3.

the

4.

5.

6.

the

7.

8.

9.

the

10.

11.

The

12.

13.

-/th e

14.

the

15.

16.

17.

18.

19.

20.

21.

T h e /-

22.

-/the

23.

the

24.

25.

the

26.

the

27.

the

28.

the

29.

the

30.

31.

32.

the

33.

the

34.

The

35.

the

36.

book

on

writing

m n u m m i m s Q u n m

8. You have three nouns, namely: bee, hive and queen. All the nouns are countable.
The definite context for the word bee is created by the word hive. The construction
IThel most important also narrows the context for the word beg and makes it definite.

Key to Exercise 2K
1.

Paragraph I
n. the major events that have taken place = life (in this century)
Paragraph 2
b. our lives = life
e. worlds = planets (You can replace cither one)
d. cover = travel
Paragraph .3
e. highly developed = sophisticated
f. wc = people
g. everyone = people
h. human beings = people
i. one another = each other (You can replace either)

j. images = messages (Replace


2.

the second phrase)

first of all. In Exercises 15-22, you looked at texts where the signposts and markings
were obvious. Many confident writers of English are able to write without putting
obvious guidelines into the text.
In this text, you could leave out First of all. The fact that you are beginning a new
paragraph, and that it is the first one after the introduction, indicates that this is the
first point that you are going to describe, in many wavs in the first sentence of the
second paragraph could also be left in or taken out. It depends on whether you want
to make the signposts in your text obvious or not.
.Secondly, you could also leave out. The fact that you are starting a new paragraph
indicates that you are moving on to a second or new topic. Note the word also in this
sentence has the same function as secondly.
Thirdly, is necessary. The first idea was obvious. The second one was marked by
beginning a new paragraph and the word also. Here you are beginning a new
paragraph, but there is no other marker like the word also. You need, therefore, to
remind yourself and the reader of how many points you have made. Without the word
Thirdly. therefore, the paragraph would probably not be well connected to the
previous text.
For exam ple, in the third paragraph, is necessary to indicate the relationship between
the two sentences.
us a consequence. (The first line in the fourth paragraph.) The word und has the same
function as this phrase here. I lowever, it is probably better to put it in, as it makes the
relationship between the two parts of the sentence clearer.

b o o k

on

w ritin g

119

3.

4.

5.

The word .therefore. [Many people may, therefore, fear...] is necessary at the
beginning of the second sentence in the last paragraph. You need to indicate the
relationship between the two sentences more clearly.

Key 1<> Exercise 30

In the first line, the text should read the planet. You need the definite article (the) to
connect the text. The writer is writing the text within the context of the solar system.
If the writer uses a planet, then the context is general, which would obviously not be
correct here. (See Exercises 26 and 27.)

I.

c.

2.

g.

3. c.

4.

u.

5.

b.

6. d.

7.

f.

Note how much trickier this exercise is compared with the previous one. It is not surprising,
therefore, that so many mistakes occur in the section of the text that contains the connections
between sentences.

Possible alternatives are:


will have the ability to communicate by telepathy
will have the capacity to send
will be capable o f being stored

Key (o Exercise 31

Note that the underlined phrases are interchangeable.


6.

lielow are the contradicted facts in the text, with the line numbers indicated.

In the first line o f paragraph 3 is bound to be and is certain to be in paragraph 4, line 1.

Line
I

Key to Exercise 29

Line
in I>53

1 born and brought up in


I lackney, north London
1.

g.

2.

c.

3.

d.

4.

e.

5.

a.

6.

f.

7.

b.

10

Then, in 1972, at the age of sixteen.

17

couldnt decide whether to stay in south


London, where she was bom.

7 as her other brothers and sister were


doing extremely

the only girl in a family o f


lour boys.

Being rather well-off,

12

as coming from a poor background she


could not afford to buy many expensive
clothes.

3 the family lived a totally


carefree life

Her behaviour caused her parents no end


o f anguish

5 with no real interest in any


school activity.

At school, insects, drawing and, of


course, boys were her main obsessions.

6 She was very mischievous


and always getting into
trouble.

14

She had always been a model pupil.

17

as she was known to her many friends,

18 or go to Exeter. She went to


the latter,

19

as she hated the student life in London.

19 where she studied French


and Italian.

21

six months in Moscow and six in Athens

22 Being decisive

22

at first, she didn't know what to do,

24 She started an acting career,


which took oil rather quickly.

25

Alter a considerable time

Notes
1.

In each sentence, you can see that the information is divided into two parts. This
division is basically marked by the verb.

2.

In Sentence 1, the phrase One o f the most pressing problems facing our society today
is not referring to any previous text. You could think o f it as an introducing phrase
for the new information in the latter part o f the sentence (Compare Exercise 5.)

* =

3. In Sentences 2, 5, 6 and 7, the language which refers to the previous sentence is in


the first part o f the sentence, before the verb. You can can this old information.

II

4. In Sentences 3 and 4, the old information is in the second part of the sentence.
5. Many, if not the majority of, sentences in continuous texts contain this old/new
balance. As you write and read, bear this in mind and it will help you to understand
writing, and reading, more easily.

After you have studied this exercise, cover the text on the right. Then try to complete
the paragraph using only the text on the left.

120

a b o o k o n writing

but still very much a loner.

a b o o k o n w ritin g
>

r'T T

Key to Exercise 32

2F.

T = T rue an d F = False.

3T.

You should avoid all contractions. They look very casual.

4K.

The sentence is too colloquial. The formula for ending a formal letter is: I look
lor'ward to hearing from you or I am looking forward to hearing from you.

5t'.

You only use Yours faithfully, when you use Dear Sir/M adam .. You use Yours
sincerely, when you know the name of the addressee.

IF.

In English letters, this is not acceptable. However, you can use headed paper which
has your name and address printed at the top.

2F.

You can leave out all o f the punctuation or you can put it in, e.g.:
Either:

3F.

4F.

27 Marylebone H ouse,
Buffin Road,
London.
SF.1 7SM.

or

27 M arylebone House
Buffin Road
London
SE1 7SM

It looks bad if you repeat details from your CV. When you are sending your CV,
all you need is a simple covering letter.

til1'.

You should always end formal letters with the normal formulae. See 4 and 5 above.

7T.

Your signature may be difficult to read. If it is, who can the reply be sent to?

ST.

In a formal letter, you should try to avoid all colloquial expressions.

N ote, however, that you cannot leave half o f the punctuation in and the other half
out.

hi''.

Some people write numbers up to ten in words and larger numbers, like 41, in
figures.

Some people put the date on the left, above the addressees name and address. It
doesnt matter which you do. If you are worried about it, put it directly below your
address, e.g.:
27 M arylebone House
Buffin Road
London
SE17SM
22nd August 1996

I lll.
11E

Formal letters should be perfect.

121.

Key to Exercise 34
1. The senders address should have no punctuation or all the punctuation.

It is better to write the date in full, but in some business letters you may see the date
abbreviated.

2.

You need to write the date in full: 12th July 1996.

5T.

If you have a reference, you should put it above the addressees address, on the left.

3.

You need to write the name and the address of the addressee, e.g.:

6T.

This is true. Remem ber about the punctuation.

7T.

O f course, this is only true if you know hislher position.

8F.

If you know the addressee's name, you should always use it to begin your letter. II
does not matter whether you know the person or not.

4.

Dear Sir/M adam , is required rather than just Dear Sir. Note the comma after Madam.

9F.

It is not always necessary to begin with a heading. If you have an obvious heading.
you can use it.

5.

You need to indent the paragraphs correctly. Or, you can start all the paragraphs below
the D o f Dear and leave a line between each paragraph.

10F.

You can also begin a formal letter bv missing a line after D ear......... and starting
immediately below the D o f Dear, e.g.:

6.

You need to say at the beginning why you are writing: I am writing to express mv
opinion about a recent article on fetal brain tissue transplants published in ypur

7.

L in and dont in the first paragraph and 1 must sav that I dont agree, in the second,
should be written without contractions.

In the second paragraph, you should use however instead of though: A recent study.
however, show s
The word though is too informal.

The Editor
The National Guardian
21 Farringdon Street
London ECI

D ear Sir/Madam,
I am writing
You should leave a gap of one line between each subsequent paragraph and begin
directly below the D of Dear.
11T.

You should always do this.

hi paragraph 2, in the UK should read in the United Kingdom (UK).


It) In the lust line of paragraph J, loads o f patients is too informal. You can say many
patients instead.

Key to Exercise 33
IT .

122

The difference is that the word should is more formal here.

book on

II

writing

In paragraph L the N llij should read the National Health Service (N1IS). Sec 9
above.

book

on

w ritin g

123

13. You need Yours faithfully, as the letter begins Dear Sir/M adam . Note that after
Yours faithfully, you need a comma.
14. A signature is needed at the end of the letter.
15. A printed name is needed, e.g.:
Yours faithfully.
George MacArthur.

Key to Exercise 35
1. I am w riting. I write is possible, but very formal.
2. can be (real possibility).
could be reduced (hypothetical possibility - tentative proposal).
should be reduced (proposal- with opinion).
is to be reduced (fact - present simple).
3. I suggest.
4. the government should increase/increase. Note the subjunctive after the verb
suggest. If you treat the noun government as singular, you do not add =s.
5. there should be/be. Note again the subjunctive (be) after suggest. You use the
infinitive without to for all parts of the verb.
6- a sentence has been/is passed.
7. This would show (neutral/hypothetical result - objective).
This should show (result with opinion - subjective).
You could also say: will show (neutral/real result - objective)
8. the state is.
9. about tackling.
10. has recently been/was recently recom m ended.
11. (sex offendersl should (proposal - with opinion).
ought to (neutral proposal- without opinion).
could undergo (hypothetical possibility - tentative proposal).
12. fight/to fight.
13. such counselling is continued/continues/wcre continued/were to be continued.
14. I strongly believe.
15. this would be (neutral result - objective). Note that you cannot use could or might
here, as they are too weak. They would contradict I strongly believe.
16. to reduce/of reducing.

124

a b o o k on

writing

H i i I m 05 m sSI! 1 !1 U 1 1 1! 1 11

12. The original text for the final paragraph is too colloquial. The following is more
formal: I hope that you are able to publish this letter in vour newspaper.

K ey

lo Exercise 3ft
1 Yes. il is. 1 mil Wliling is more common than I w rite. The latter is very formal.
2

You need to slate the reason lor writing in the introduction to your letter. If you use
the suggested sentence, the letter loses focus, Compare this with Exercises 1 to 2
on introductions.

views/concern. The word belief does not lit here. Note that you should not use the
word fears in order to avoid repetition in line 3.

No, You need to write the date in full, as in the letter, or else in words: the fifteenth

5. II you leave out the text, there is an abrupt jum p between the two sentences. Read
the introduction several times with and without the text. Compare the text in
Exercise 20.
6. The fact that the writer has started a new paragraph after stating I would like to
clarify a few points shows that this is the first point. Therefore, any kind of
connecting woril would be unnecessary. See Exercise 28.2
7. No. If you use if, it is not clear what the word it refers to: A ID S, plague, life or the
sentence its a whole. You therefore need T his. You could also put a comm a after
the word life and then use w hich. The sentence, however, would be very long. You
would also lose the dramatic effect of the short sentence. Note the main stress is on
nonsense and the secondary stress on T his. See Exercise 20.
8. No. This is an indirect question. It should read: ... how he would explain.
0. in addition, fu rth er, furtherm ore. Note you cannot use What is m ore, because of
the word what in the sentence. It is not possible to omit M oreover here. The word
is necessary to show the relationship between this sentence and the previous text.
Read the text several times with and without M oreover so that you can learn to feel
the need for the word.
10

As a consequence. T hus. Accordingly, etc. See Exercise 16.5. You cannot omit
llie re lore or a similar word here for the same reason as in 9 above. Read the text
with and without Therefore to feel the difference.

11

The answer is yes. The original is slightly more sophisticated. Both versions
indicate that this is the second point for clarification. Notice the writer is trying not
to use obvious markers like First/Second/Third, etc.

12. You can put a comma alter AIDS instead o f a full stop. You can then join the two
sentences with which Both ways tire acceptable, but if you change the two
sentences Into one, it is rather long.

a book on

w ritin g

125

Key to Exercise 37

Key to Exercise 3N

A formal version: I am writing to thank you fo r your letter, which was received
yesterday.

2.

You could say: 1 suggest/recommend that a wider selection offood [should] he


made available. Note the contraction in E d is unacceptable in formal writing.

3.

A formal version is: I am writing to complain about the treatment / received from
a member o f your staff.

4.

A formal version is: I am writing to complain about the fa c t that my flig h t time was
changed without my being informed.

5.

A formal version is. I am writing to express m y opinion about an article on sport


fo r the young, which appeared in your newspaper recently.

6.

The formal equivalent is: I look forw ard to hearing fro m you at your earliest
convenience; o r I am looking forward... Note that I look forward to is more formal.
Compare I write/I am writing in Exercise 35.1.

7.

Noun phrases like W hat he said are very common in informal/colloquial English.
This could be replaced by His statem ent. Instead o f a load o f rubbish, you could
just say nonsense.

8.

A formal version is: There is much that can be done to solve the problem. Compare
9 and 12 below.

9.

A formal version is: Moreover, a worse problem is that dog faeces can be fo u n d
all over the area where children are playing.

10.

You could make it formal as follows: I was very annoyed!dismayed by the writer's
ignorance o f this matter.

11.

A formal version is: I think that the writer o f the article has made an enormous!
serious mistake.

12.

The sentence is informal and too direct. To make it more formal and impersonal,
you can change it into the passive: Firstly, the flo o r o f the canteen is never cleaned.

13.

See 6 above.

14.

Yours faithfullv./Yours sincerely, should be used in formal letters.


See Exercise 33.5.

15.

A more formal version is: I should/would be grateful if you would/could send me


an application fo rm fo r the p ost o f clerical assistant.

21.

1111 no 1 1 1 1 1 o i o o i o i

1.

Dear Mr Undcrall,

0.1 am wilting lu ludgg-iLiiiiiiplaiiil about lhc.iavl.ihat 9. the bank 12, failed to honour
a cheque which was presented for payment on the 14. 25 January 1996. in spite of the
la d that my account 17. was in credit at the time of presentation. I would also like to
make a complaint about the subsequent service I 20. received from 1. a mem ber of your
staff.
I would call your attention to the fact that a bankers draft for 150, was paid into my
account at your branch by my elder daughter, Rebecca Merstone, on 4. 20 January 1996.
live days before the said cheque was presented and refused. The following day my
younger daughter, Rosie, also paid 100 in cash into my account. There were, 7,
therefore. 10. sufficient funds in my account at the time o f presentation and the cheque
should have been cleared.
10. I should also like to point out that I 5. contacted mv branch by 13. telephone and fL
the gciillcillilll I spoke to was 19. very rude. Not being used to such behaviour, I was,
as you can imagine, left speechless.
2. I should be grateful if you could inform me what compensation you propose to offer
me for my inconvenience in this matter and 15. what action you propose to take re the
rudeness of the cashier.
11.1 look forward to hearing from you 3, at your earliest convenience.

18.

Yours sincerely.
r fn iH a id c

Ms ( 'amlinc ( irinaide.

Key In Exorcise 3*1


I lie c x c i c i s c is not yet fin ish e d . Y ou c a n s e c that th e text b e lo w s h o w s y o u w h e r e o n ly tw o o f
the a d d itio n s h a v e b e e n m a d e.
lie litre y o n lo o k at th e K e y , read th e v e r s io n o f th e tex t in th e e x e r c is e a g a in . T h e n read the
le lle i b e lo w an d s e e it y o u c a n fin d th e o th e r w o r d s an d p h ra se s th at h a v e b e e n in se r te d .

Can

y o u fe e l th e d if fe r e n c e hi the te x t?

126

a b o o k on writing

Y ou m a y n e e d to d o th is e x e r c is e s e v e r a l lim e s .

a b o o k o n w ritin g

127

Just a few lines to let you know I got here in one piece and to give you my new address.
I arrived in London about a month ago and have been settling in gradually_since then.
The first thing I had to do was find a place to live, which w asnt exactly easy. When I
15. first got here, Mohamed put me up for a few nights and tl>ey I found this very
pleasant studio flat in West London through an agency. Its quite handy for the shops
and theres a tube station not too far away. Now that I ve got my own place you should
come over here for a few weeks at the end of term.
M eeting people in London is quite difficult. In the beginning, I must admit I felt a bit
homesick, but 1. then one evening I went to the Student Union, where I got talking to
some other students. They invited me to a party, which they were going to gate-crash,
and so I went along with them. It was really fantastic. I met loads o f other people, some
of whom I'v e met several times since.

Key to Exercise 40
Dear Sarah,
21. Many thanks for your letter, which 17. got a couple of days ago, and for the message
on my answering machine. It was 5. nice to hear from you. Ive tried 22. loads of times
to 13. get through to you on the telephone, but I kept 15. getting your answering
machine. So I 9. decided to 20. write instead.
Its really 2. great of you to have 14. sorted out the holiday to Venice so efficiently.
These days I dont seem to be able to get my act together; nor do I have the time or
energy to do anything. I must say that chasing all this paper around at work is 16. getting
me dow n.
Well, I m sorry to 8. hear that your noise problem 11. has not been sorted out yet. Its
6. really selfish and inconsiderate o f people to play music at full blast, especially when
all you hear is that deep thud. 4. Why dont you blast them with some opera in the
middle of the night?
On a happier note, 17. we can meet up before we go to Venice. If its nice, we could
finish that 12. walk along the river and then have a late afternoon tea.
18. Anyway. 10. hope to hear from you soon and hope 3. things are a bit quieter. L
Give mv regards to Hugh.
19. Love.
Rodney

Read the text in the exercise and the Key several times so that you learn to feel the d if ference
between informal and formal language. Compare Exercises 37 and 38.

128

a b o o k o n writing

t H 5 1 0 1 H I 51! 5! 0 5 1 5 1 5 5 H

Dear Pierrick,

Key lo Exercise 41
1 Chunks 2. for

29. right away/immediately

3, which 4 1 5. got

30. through

31. Why 32. you

It

7, Item 8. from 9, you

33. giving

II)

though

34. You 35. could

II

a 12. hit/littlc

36. namely

13

on

37. those

14

hut

38. those

15

up/in

39. Then

16

What 17. 's 18. more

40. down

116. And 17. another 18. thing]

41. go

what

42. Well

19

211 get

43. packed

21

like

44. up

22

words

45. might 46. like/want

23

at

47. Anyway

24. And/Also

48. hope

25. kids

49. follow/take

26. If 27.1 28. were/was

50

Drop

You can try the same approach with many o f the exercises that you have done so far. If you
have not marked the text, you can try to read exercises until you are able to supply the answers
automatically. Exercises 23 and 24. for example, arc perfect for doing this.

a b o o k o n w ritin g

129

1.

finally

7.

answering advertisement

2.

exercises environment

8.

restaurant discussing businessman

9.

admitted disappointed language

3.

listening vegetables additional

4.

yesterday although

10.

profession affected

5.

belief beginning

11.

maintenance surprise approval

6.

interesting immediately

12.

fortunately putting permanent

Key to Exercise 43
1.

fulfil

2.
3.
4.

receive

10.

necessary

5.

successful

11.

knowledge

6.

separately

7.

occurred

government

8.

difficult

disappear

9.

arrange

A nother task for you is to look up the other words in the dictionary to find the correct spelling.

Key to Exercise 44
1. irresponsible committee
2. desperate separate phenomenon intention
3. appointment
4. independence technique vehicle possibility thorough
5. computer temperature
6. permission
7. independent professor
8. conscientious management envelope February
9. frightening application detention
10. perceive offensive envelop
11. directory
12. occasion embarrassment
13. mischievous secretary
Note in 8. envelope and 10. envelop. Check the difference in a dictionary.
Check the spelling o f the misspelt words in a dictionary.

130

a b o o k on writing

! 5 2 S ! 9 5 5 &3 3 5 0 0 1 1 0 II010 0 I i

Key to Exercise 42

Key lo Exercise 45
9
2 ..................... was debated...........................
10.
3..................... people who/that would agree.. ..11.
12.
4.
Apart from ...........................................
5 ..................... problems finding w ork.......
13.
t>..................... interested i n .........................
14.
7 ..................... has been/has becom e...........
15.
8 ..................... accommodation ..................

............. licences...............................
Thank you for/Thanks f o r ............
............. big e n o u g h ........................
.................... has b e e n ......................
............. those who b re a k ...............
Note: those thal sounds odd here.
It should also b e .............................
Also, it should be...

Key lo Exercise 4ft


1.
2.
3.
4
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.

............. needs .....................................


............. is/has been co n sid ered.......

10.

..............agree w ith ............................


This sentence is c o rre c t...................
.....c a n n o t............................................
......was a lm o s t...................................
A lthough...............it sh o u ld ..............
(but is not correct here.)
Despite/ln spite of the cost involved,..

11. This sentence is correct.


12. This sentence is correct.
13............... answer t o .............................
14............... in a co m a ..............................
15. This sentence is correct.
16. A large n u m b e r..............................
17............... managed to f i n d .................
18. Still there is............................
19. It is essentiaL........................
20. This sentence is correct.

Key lo Exercise 47
In (lie Key below, you have to find the corrections yourself. Once you have studied the Key,
repeat the exercise.
Now you can see why the exercise is called A teacher's revenge!
1. Fossil remains o f dinosaurs were/have been found recently.
2. The government must tighten the law in this respect.
3. Nowadays everyone, especially young people, should practise safe sex.
4. I le raised the matter at the meeting before last.
5. I wonder how the writer can explain this statement.
P. Success can only be achieved by hard work.
7.

I suggest you try working a bit harder.

Instead, the money should be spent on improving school buildings and helping old
people.

II people arc curclul when they drive, there will be fewer accidents.

It).

I Ins is a d e lic a te m a ile r t h a l h a s

a b o o k o n w ritin g

aroused considerable controversy.


131

# =

11. Smoking is very harmful to our health.

12. Fewer people would mean fewer problems.

10

The verb form should be surrounded |b y ).

11

The sentence expresses a result of the increased use o f computers in the home
environment. You need a word or phrase, like: As a result. Consequently. As a
consequence. Therefore, e tc .

13. Should education be free for all?


14. Passing exams often depends on luck.

12. To avoid repetition you can use They.

15. We pick up knowledge throughout life.


16. The idea is certainly sound, but, in my opinion, it should not be introduced.

11, The verb is still governed by the preposition qf. You need the word being here.

17. He bought the stationery he needed and then rushed home to write the letter.

II

I lie last sentence a d s as a conclusion, but the sentence does not show this clearly.
You need Thus/I Icnce/thcrcforc followed by a comma.

15

You need everyone here.

18. The government are surely responsible in this case.


19. Had they acted sooner, then the collapse o f the housing market would not have
happened.

t =

20. He appears to be very experienced in dealing with people.

t =

21. We are all sensitive to criticism at times.

Key to Exercise 49

22. Ive kept a diary since I was in primary school.

= m

23. He had to pay a 50 fine when he was caught parking in a restricted area.
24. I often lose my way around here.
25. Recent statistics have shown that the gap between the rich and the poor is increasing.

e =

H ow w ell I 1 rem e m b e r th e very first tim e I saw it. T o a c h ild s e y e s, the


d ista n ce w as g reat and it w as 2. jiis l a b lo b on a c liff to p , fa r aw ay a n d o u t o f
reach, blit som ehow the blob did not look right. I c o u ld n t say w hy and it 3.
umtuyeU m e th at I c o u ld n t w o rk it o u t. I d id n t th in k to a sk w h a t it w as: so
m y ste rio u s 4. w as it. that I pro b ab ly th o u g h t th e y w o u ld n t k n o w anyw ay.

Key to Exercise 48
1.

The answer is com puters. This first sentence is an introduction and is a general
statement. The context for the noun computers is, therefore, general. If you write the
computers, could you point to or identify the specific machines you are talking about?
Note: you cannot have the computer, because the verb is plural. If you had is in the
text, it would be correct. Note the difference between computers and the computer
here. It is purely a matter o f the context in which you picture the word. See Exercise
26.

2.

1.32

The im age has 5. h au n ted m e e v e r since.

a
r =

Ii w as to be m any y ears later w hen I h ad left h o m e , h ad b een to 6. an o th er


continent ev en , that I returned 7 .
It w as on a 8. cold, w et, su m m e rs day
w ith the w ind lash in g in fro m the n o rth . W e a p p ro ach ed it fro m the m ain ro ad ,
will king 9. th ro u g h so g g y gro u n d to w ard s th e c liff to p and the sea. I w as
a p p re h e n siv e and ex cited : a p p re h e n s iv e , becau se it 10 . m ig h t p ro v e to b e such
al l . and 12. d is a p p o in tm e n t, and ex c ite d by the th o u g h t th at it m ig h t n o t be
so. A nd there it w as, 13. p erch ed precario u sly on th e c liff ed g e. 14. In congruous
m the C eltic la n d scap e, the ro u n d cla ssic a l b u ild in g stood proud an d solid

You need to use such a s.

3.

The word anywhere is needed. Compare ...or do anything.

4.

You need coming after the preposition w ithout.

5.

The text should read: Take schools, for example. Even at primary level children are
learning.....,,.. You could replace the full stop after example with a semicolon (;).

ag ain st the tem p er o f the N o rth S ea.

6.

The word so is missing. It refers to the fact that children are learning more and more
through the use o f computers.

7.

The word computer by itself is wrong. The word will means you can use either the
computer or com puters. See 1 above. N ote it would probably be better to use the
computer, as then you would avoid repetition and thus improve the texture o f the
passage.

8.

A word or phrase like M oreover/In addition, etc. is required.

9.

The spelling of the word is wrong. It is equipped.

3 >

We en tered ; and il w as m o re than I had im ag in ed . O p p o site th e d o o r, to w hich


w e had c lim b ed 15. a short flight o f sto n e ste p s, w as a tall n arro w w in d o w
lm inp. straight out into the sea. T here w as an o th er o p ening to the east, and then

c =

I tin n cd and lo o k ed w est.

I<> In .pile ol the rain, the g o ld en strand cu rv ed ro u n d , fo llo w ed by the railw ay


lin e, w hich p assed d irectly b en eath the T em p le to the W inds. T h e m o u n tain s,
17 sloping tip from the b e a c h , looked d ifferen t from this v iew p o in t; and the
lulls ol I lo n eg al w ere lost to the rain. I m oved to the w in d o w an d 18. peered
into the d istan ce that still seem ed so g re a t. F or a tim e I w aited , but I c o u ld not
see the little hoy, so lull ol d re a m s, w ho w as b eck o n ed upon the w in d s.

m = o

book

on

writing

book

on

w ritin g

133

The passage in the exercise is repeated below, but it now has 25 mistakes. A t the end o f each
paragraph, the number of mistakes is indicated in brackets.
Now look for the mistakes in the text below. Try not to refer to the original text.
Try to resist the temptation to cheat!

T h ro u g h the d istan t h aze o f c h ild h o o d , m y shool h o lid a y s w ith A u n tie M au re e n


an d A u n tie Vi stan d o u t cle a rly in m y m in d . E v en n o w as an a d u lt, m y o casio n al
v isits to F a rk le b e rry R ise n e v e r fa ils to c h e e r m e u p . [3]
A u n tie M a u re e n is a fa v o u rite o f m in e . S h e is h ig h a n d s le n d e r an d c a rrie s h e r
h air in a tight bun. H e r fain t m o u stach e still am u ses m e; first, it m ade h e r ap p ear
ra th e r feirce an d stric t to m y siste r a n d m y se lf. [4]
S he is, in fa ct, ra th e r an e x c ite d ch ara c ter. To u s c h ild re n , she w as a lw a y s su ch
fun to b e w ith and con stan tly trying to k eep u s entertain ed ; it w as p laying g am es
o n th e w id e law n o r lu n c h in g b o m b a tta c k s o n th e W e n d y h o u se in th e
w ild e rn e ss at the b o tto m o f th e o rc h a rd . A u n tie V i, on o th e r h a n d , a ra th e r jo lly
a nd q u ie t eru d ite c h a ra c te r, alw ay s se e m e d to b e w o rk in g fu rio u sly in so m e fa r
o f c o m e r o f the R ise , an d h a n g in g w in d o w s sh o u tin g e n c o u ra g e m e n t at o u r
g o in g s-o n in g ard e n . M u ch later, w e fo u n d th at she w a s, in fa c t, sh o u tin g at us
to sh u t. [9]
A u n tie M a u re e n w a s, a n d still is, so m e th in g o f a le g e n d in th e lo cal a re a ,
fa m o u s fo r h e r a m a te u r d ra m a tic s, h o m e m a d e ja m a n d h ed g e s. O n o n e m e m o
rab le occasio n , she pu t on ra th e r a sp ectaclar disp lay fo r us. S he w as u p a lad d er
c u ttin g th e h ed g e at th e b a c k o f th e R ise . W e acte d B re e ze in th e B irch es, a
p lay A u n tie M au re en h a d w ritte n fo r u s, w h en w e ru sh e d ro u n d th e c o m e r o f
th e h o u se to fin d d e a r A u n tie M a u ree n in m id -a ir, le g s a n d arm s ak im b o lik e
a g re a t sta r [4]
W e w ere th in k in g she h a d g o t b o re d to c u t th e h e d g e an d h a d d e c id e d to jo in
in o u r fu n . W e ro a re d w ith lau g h ter, as A u n tie M a u re en d isa p p ea red o v e r th e
to p o f the hed g e w ith w h a t so u n d e d lik e g re at sq u eals o f d elig h t. N e v e r 1 h a v e
lau g h e d so m uch in all m y life! 13]
A u n tie M au reen w as th e n sp en d in g th re e d ay s in th e b e d , b a re ly a b le to m o v e.

[2 ]

134

a b o o k on writing

H 1 H S 3 3 SI i i S S 5 5 5 1 Q i i S t i

Key to Exercise 50

Key to Exercise 51
1.

Genetics is a subject which is rather


complicated fo r the public. [Line 1]

The general subject is about genetic


engineering, not about genetics.

2.

and it is, in my opinion, a great


improvement. [Line 3]

The essay is objective, not


subjective. Therefore, the writer
should not express a personal
opinion.

3.

and are also worried about the


safety o f b eef products. [Line 7]

The safety of beef is not connected


with genetic engineering.

4.

G e n e tic e n g in ee rin g w ill le a d to a


h e a lth ie r d ie t f o r a ll o f m a n k in d and,
c o n seq u en tly, an even b e tte r
standard o f living. [Lines 10-12]

This certain result docs not fit in


here, because we are talking about
genetically engineered plants. The
author has just introduced the idea
and then goes straight to an
affirmative result, which is rather
abrupt.

5.

Safety is also a primary concern o f


m a n y p e o p le in o th e r a re a s o f life,
e .g . the sid e -e ffe c ts o f m e d ic in e s.
| Lines 15-16]

This is obviously irrelevant here.

6.

S c ie n tists are resp o n sib le f o r m a n y


d isa ste rs: there are c o u n tle ss sto ries
a b o u t w a ste b ein g s p ille d in to rivers
and the sea. [Lines 18-20]

Like 5 above, this is obviously not

sin c e in n o cen t crea tu res n e e d


p ro te c tio n a g a in st e x p erim en ts?
| Lines 25-26]

The protection o f animals here is not

8.

S u ch b iza rre im a g es sh o u ld n o t be
sh o w n on TV, a s it u p se ts m a n y
people. [Lines 32-33]

This sentence is not relevant,


because it expresses an opinion
which is not appropriate in an
objective essay like this.

M a n y a n im a l lo vers, m y s e lf in clu d ed ,
/e e l that th ey m u st m a k e a s ta n d f o r
the rights o f animals, [Lines 38 39]

The paragraph is not talking about


animal lovers or animal rights. The
specific focus of the paragraph is
about the morality of genetic
engineering,

7.

10, There are, o f co u rse, m any


a rgum ents in favour, f o r exam ple a
b e lte r q u a lity o f fo o d | L ines 4 1 4 2 1

a b o o k o n w ritin g

connected with the text, except for the


reference to scientists.

part o f the argument.

The arguments for arc irrelevant here.

135

1.

A is correct. The word Such and the would for result connect the sentence with the
previous text.
B is unacceptable, because it repeats text from the previous sentence.
C is a statement o f fact about an investment and a system , which are not specified.
N either noun connects with the previous text. Notice the use o f the Present Simple
tense here to express a fact.

2.

C is correct. The words would and then take the developm ent o f the proposal in the
introduction a step further.
A is confusing. It is not clear whether It refers to investment, infrastructure or the
whole idea. You cannot, therefore, use it. If you replaced It with This it would be
acceptable.
In B, the phrase there would be fewer accidents is irrelevant.

3.

IJ is correct.
A is not acceptable because the text should read were made: and it is cheaper should
read they were cheaper.
C only covers buses and the word provided is repeated.

4.

A is correct.
In B, it is not clear what the word It refers to.
C is irrelevant.

5.

C is correct. It is the only one which connects with the next part o f the text.
In A, the tense has changed and it does not connect with anything in the text that
comes before or after.
B is not accpetable for the same reasons as A, except for the tense.

6.

A is correct.
B does not connect with the previous text.
C does not connect with the previous text.

7.

B is correct. You need the word therefore to make the link firm.
Without the word therefore in A, the connection with the previous text is very weak.
In C , the tense has changed and the cars cannot be congested!

36

a b o o k o n writing

Ifr! t HI U ! H 1115551! I i H

Key to Exercise 52

Key lo Exercise 53
1.

couldn't
immediately,
turned up.
answer?
treated;
in sores.
Why...'

2.
3.
I

didnt
sooner?
asked.
half-baked
idea.
fireplace!

3.
6.

apostrophe
comma
full stop
question mark
semicolon
full stop
quotation marks/
inverted commas
apostrophe
question mark
full stop
hyphen
full stop
exclamation mark

7.

(1913-1947)
w orlds
poets.
8. Its
Jam ess
book.
9. - a beautiful
bowl.
10. fruit,
like:
guavas, mangoes,
kumquats.
11. list:
commas/
oblique strokes.

brackets
apostrophe
full stop
apostrophe
apostrophe
full stop
dash
full stop
comma
colon
commas
full stop
colon
oblique stroke
full stop

Key to Exercise 54
1.

The sentence is not a question. The word why introduces an indirect question;
therefore, a question mark is not needed.

1,

In a. (lie text between the commas is additional information.The words could, in fact,
be left out; they are not identifying which nephew. In b, the writer shows that there
are other nephews and that he is only talking about the one who bought the painting.
The words who bought the painting are essential to the meaning in b.

'

Sentence

4.

b is impossible, because the name M r James already defines the

person.

(a)

The punctuation shows that two people spoke. M r Jones and M rs B lair.

(b)

hour people spoke, namely: two m anagers. M r Jones, and Mrs B lair. The first
two people arc not named.

(e)

The comm a after early is unnecessary as the second clause is a purpose. If the
sentence read so he was able to finish his essay, the second clause would be a
result. A comma would then be necessary .

(d)

You do not need a comma after chair, spoke and length.

(e)

The commas in the sentence should be removed as the phrase wearing a red
lum per identifies the m an as the leader. C o m p are 2 above.

(I)

All the commas are necessary.

(g)

You do not need a comma here. Read the sentence to yourself and compare it
with Ii below.

(h)

When you turn the sentence in g round as here, you need a comma.

a b o o k o n writing

137

A colon
A colon marks an explanation o f a word or clause which comes before it, e.g.
can use a colon to m ark the beginning o f a list, e.g. a/d.

b. You

6. Ills means It is/it has. So a is incorrect.


7. A dash is usually quite informal, but people do use it in formal writing.

011: i I-i

5. A semicolon
A semicolon marks a connection between two independent clauses which are related
to each other, e.g. c. If you had a full stop instead o f a semicolon in c, the sentences
would be too staccato (i.e. abrupt, clipped). H ence, another reason for using a
semicolon. You can use a semicolon to mark clauses in a list, e.g. d.

8. You use a hyphen to mark certain words which are made from: (i) two or more words,
e.g. half-dead self-made (ii) a prefix and a word, e.g. semi-nomadic, co-ordinate.

10. You can use commas ( .........,) and dashes ( - ........ -) .


11. You can write: The planes, made from a new kind of alloy, were returned to the
factory. This means that all the planes were returned. Without commas, it means that
only those planes made from alloy were returned. The others were not.

Key to Exercise 55
1. The full stop at the end o f the sentence is missing. Notice the sentence contains an

indirect question. Therefore, you do not need a question mark.


2. The apostrophe is missing in I've.

You do not need a comm a after winding.

2.

The phrase, rising to address the Horticultural Society, is non-defining. It is additional


information and does not distinguish Ms Bartlett from anyone else. Therefore, you
should put the phrase inside commas.

3. You should add a comma after Moreover.


4. A full stop is needed at the end of the sentence. The writer considers the information
in the latter part of the sentence as additional, so you can have a comma before the
word ami. You can also leave the comma out.
5. You cant use an apostrophe with Yours.

U 1 1 1 5 iH

9. Yes. You normally separate connecting words like these from the rest o f the sentence
with commas.

Key to Exercise 56

(>. The punctuation is correct.


7. There should not be a comm a after people. The phrase like scientists and inventors
is defining. Read the sentence to yourself without the phrase; it doesnt make sense.
8. You can put commas around the clause who were given lots of help bv their parents
or you can leave them out. It depends on whether you want to talk about a restricted
group o f children (defining) or to give additional information (non-defining).
9. An apostrophe is needed in D ont: you also need an exclamation mark instead of a
comma. After the comm a, you should close the quotation : ... again! he shouted.
10. The punctuation is correct.
11. The apostrophe is missing in it's: it is.
12. Not only is the punctuation wrong, the word is w rong.The word should be W hose
and there is no apostrophe.
13. 1lyphens are needed in end-of-term .
14. The punctuation is correct, but notice the change in meaning in the following:
M ichel.' said the teacher, is a very fast reader.

3. You need a colon after message. The latter part o f the sentence is an explanation of

4. You need a question mark at the end of the sentence.

5. A comma is needed after earlv.


6. You need a full stop or a semicolon after the word this. After a full stop, the word far
would have a capital letter.
7. You need a full stop at the end of the sentence. Note that this is not a question. The

inversion at the beginning o f the sentence is the same as If vou wish ...
8. This is a question not a statement, so you need a question mark at the end.

9. You need a comma after Jones.


10. A comma is needed before but.

138

a book on writing

5 1 ! 1! 110

the word message. In informal writing, von could h a v e a d ash

Key to Exercise 57
1,

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

11.

12.

1.3

It

14.

15.

a book on writing

139

0 , 9 - 0

Sfl?
'5 $

M a s s
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i** .*5 * **

S?
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5 S 's
.f 1 1

This publication is designed primarily for English language students


at an advanced level, i.e. the Cambridge Certificate in Advanced
English, Cambridge Proficiency and those students preparing to achieve
approximately between 6.0 and 7.5 in the IELTS exam managed and
administered by the British Council, the University of Cambridge Local
Examinations Syndicate (UCLES) and by IELTS Australia. Native speakers
of English may also find some aspects of the book of use.

T ' m

'

a
book

The hook as far as possible has been written from a cognitive, rather than
a grammatical, point of view. The guiding principle throughout has been
to mimic the underlying mechanisms and thought processes thal make up
the act of writing.
The book is divided into five Sections, focusing on the following areas:
coherence in a text, cohesion, letter writing, correcting a text and
punctuation.
This is a great little book which has already been extensively used
in the short time w eve had it. It seems to be the kind o f book
that contains all the exercises that otherwise you would s/tend
hours trawling fo r ...A m ong teachers who test drove this book,
the m ost common adjective used to describe it was 'meaty'. All
essential resource book.
Roland Davies, Network News

j i

i1
l

M
Z

* jj

.S m

J
M
I pw

Additional copies can be obtained from:


Dr G M Haddock

IntelliGene
Woodlands, Ford, Midlothian EH37 5RE, UK
Tel: +44 (0) 1875 320063 Fax: +44 (0) 1875 320276

i l

jm

Sam McCarter