Reflection and Self- Discovery in EDU 7206T

Kalina Kozarska
Professor Gina Paese
EDU 7206T
Final Paper
St. John's University

When I was 7 years old, I entered Mrs. Karadjova's 1st grade classroom. A bouquet of red
carnations rested in my arms. For a little tomboy like me, the formal dress my grandmother put me in
felt strange and uncomfortable. As we entered the classroom, I noticed the wooden chairs and desks, the
old fashioned black board, and the empty, brick white walls. There was a world map next to the front
door, but that was the only exception. Our teacher entered. ood morning class she said and began
instructing us on appropriate front door greetings. From then on, as she entered the classroom every
morning, we would have to get up from our desks and reply back, ood morning, Mrs. Karadjova.
This all took place in Bulgaria of course. Here, structure, discipline, academic excellence, and
respect were valued the most. Even as an elementary school student, there were no colorful classrooms,
or frivolous playtime, or simple projects. I remember coming home, as a 4 th grade student, asking my
engineer grandfather for help with my math homework. Even he struggled with some of the problems.
Although to some people, this experience may seem bland and grey, for me it was quite positive. Yes, I
struggled with the work, but the atmosphere was always positive. I had the same teacher throughout my
elementary school career. She knew us by heart, she came over for dinner at times, she took us on trips.
She became more than an educator, she became family, and this is what I remember most.
Flash forward 7 years later to my 11th grade AP English Composition classroom. Mrs. Krieger
was so vastly different from Mrs. Karadjova. They were like day and night. And although I loved both of
them, Mrs. Krieger inspired me to become an educator. Her creativity, fearlessness , encouragement, and
positive attitude was a true sight to behold. I learned so much about the world and about myself in her
class. I still remember our analysis of the song arbie Girland how it related to women's issues. Mrs.
Krieger brought in barbie dolls to bring the lesson to life. I still recall how class was wholeheartedly
engaged and unafraid of expressing thoughts/opinions. She also had brought in women's magazines such
as Cosmo, People, Us, and Seventeen. We had a blast making fun of the superficial articles.
As, I began my summer school experience with the NYC Teaching Fellows at MS 88 Peter
Rouget, I often thought of Mrs. Krieger. What would she do? How would she engage these wonderful

yet rebellious students? How would she structure her lessons? Great teachers make teaching look so
easy when in fact it is one of the most difficult professions out there. The experience was difficult but
valuable nonetheless. Being thrown into the classroom, with no prior training, no knowledge of my
students, and no equipment was exceedingly challenging. Most of the students I worked with had IEPs
yet I was not allowed to view these documents. I had no computers, no smart board, and no AC. My
frustration with the coaches of the organization, administration, and my cooperating teacher was
crippling. However, this experience taught me one valuable lesson: make the best of a bad situation.
There's always a positive to every negative.
As I was reflecting on my experience, I couldn't help but connect it to the educational experience
of students from third world countries as I had learned about them through books and documentaries. In
Three Cups of Tea by Greg Mortenson, which is based on true events, I read of villages and
communities with no schools. Can you imagine the excitement of the school children upon learning that
a new school is to be established. Even then, such schools probably have a limited amount of books,
desks, and writing utensils, never mind the computers and smart boards. These are all a luxury that many
schools cannot afford. But so what? Should this stop a teacher dead in her tracks?
As a future educator, I have to anticipate that the school which hires me might not be efficiently
equipped. What will I do in this case? Upon thinking of a solution to this dilemma, I came to an
understanding of the word ducation A child's education should be seen as a holistic act. It's a
community effort. It's a mistake to leave education solely in the hands of teachers. What about the
parents, and librarians, and volunteers, and the neighborhood doctors and poets? We must all be
conscious of the importance of bringing up a generation of self-reliant, independent, curious, brave, and
confident individuals. If we don't assume the responsibility of educating, we are in trouble. I see many of
my peers and past teachers reach out to the community and world at large for assistance and support.
Why not start a DonorsChoose page in order to fundraise for school supplies such as computers, ipads,
cameras etc.? Such fundraising projects are great because they not only help stock a classroom with

useful tools but they also allow the community to contribute to and learn about classroom activity.
One recurrent theme within my journal entries was the struggle in finding materials and topics
that both engage and challenge students. It's quite easy to become frustrated and discouraged when a
student refuses to participate and shows great disinterest in a lesson. So what do we do with these
students? The reason I became so depressed during my summer school teaching experience was because
I had no clue how to reach such students. Nobody had ever told me before and I was certainly afraid of
allowing them to fall through the cracks. What my experienced colleagues failed to tell me was that the
students are not disinterested but their unique needs are simply not being met. I had to keep testing
different text types and structures in order to discover that Billy was in fact a visual learner. He went
above and beyond during our nnabelle Leegraphic narrative lesson. I was shocked and wonderstruck
at his keen observation skills as well as his vibrant interpretations. Here was a smart, curious child
whose creativity was stifled by a lack of variety in content materials. A teacher must go through a lot of
trial and error to figure out how to engage every student and cater the information according to their
needs. Surely this seems like a daunting task, but I believe the more you practice, the easier it will
become. I still remember the pride and happiness I felt for myself and my students when I figured out
how to capture their attention and fascination. There's no better feeling than knowing you have inspired
a child to want to learn and succeed.
The second recurrent theme in my journal entries was that of fear. And if you've ever been afraid
of anything in particular, you know how crippling this emotion can be. I never realized how much fear
was holding me back, until I began my journaling journey. It was a discovery that I absolutely needed to
make. However, only now, after deep reflection, do I realize that the fear comes from a good place. I
believe it signifies that I deeply care about my performance in this profession and the success of my
students. There are limitations, however. If I continue allowing fear to take center stage in my
classroom, I will always be stressed and anxious and my students will never have their needs met. In
order for me to overcome these fears, I must look at where they stem from and prepare a solution. For

instance, I recall my fears regarding classroom management during my teaching experience. And instead
of finding solutions to this problem, I kept reinforcing my fear, until it became giant, menacing monster.
I feel so lucky that the journaling process led me to this reflection. I now know that great educators use
their fears to their advantage. My students deserve a fearless, strong teacher.
Mike Schmoker's ow We Teachfrom Focus had a great impact on me throughout the duration
of the course. Although what Schmoker proposes is simple, it is absolutely essential. Successful learning
and teaching can have a simple formula. It doesn't always have to be complicated. What Schmoker
proposes seems to have great meaning, especially in our 21st century classrooms. Although he introduces
age-old techniques, these techniques will remain universally applicable, regardless of time. I really relate
to his notion of moving away from a lecture-based classroom. Interactive classrooms are an absolute
necessity as they help to transform students into independent, brave, curious, and self-led learners. This
should be our ultimate goal, rather than us spoon-feeding information. If the educator allows students
to drive discussion, she/he will get a glimpse into her students' interests, passions, and thought
processes. This can never be achieved in a classroom where the educator takes center stage. Schmoker
is a firm believer of a whole-child centered approach, which I also believe is the most auspicious learning
approach. On page 75, Schmoker states: ..having students make websites, video movie trailers, clay
animation figures... These are hugely seductive, mutliday activities that sound so much more interesting
to some teachers than the authentic literacy activities they would replace(Schmoker, 75). I slightly
disagree with this point of the author. Although such rojectsand ctivitiesshould NEVER replace
authentic literacy activities, they shouldn't be eschewed either. Many of today's trending professions
require technological expertise, and such school projects can educate students on how to find
trustworthy, effective information online and how to use that information to make web-based comments,
reflections, and creations. Students need to be creative thinkers in order to participate in our
technologically based society. Technological skills shouldn be undermined. Nevertheless, such school
projects should be introduced in moderation.

I truly enjoyed Paulo Freire's he Importance of the Act of Reading mostly because of its
poetic nature. Although this reading did not have specific, hands-on techniques for classroom
instruction, it contains some indispensable lessons. I truly agree with Freire's points regarding the
personalization of text. We cannot isolate the text and strip it down to grammatical elements, figurative
language, and close-ended questions. The text will be different for every student and therefore we must
allow students to become acquainted with the heart and soul of the text, on their own terms. On page 8,
Freire writes: learned to read and write on the ground of the back yard of my house, in the shade of
the mango trees, with words from my world rather than from the wider world of my parents. The earth
was my blackboard; sticks, my chalk(Freire, 8). Not only is this beautifully rendered, but it it speaks to
the true spirit of reading and learning. We learn through our own interpretation of the world. Therefore,
if we must develop a deep connection with a text, we must somehow relate it to our own, unique reality.
To overanalyze a text for its stylistic patterns is to undermine that deep, personal connection. I hope to
take this knowledge with me as I go into my first year of teaching.
As a future ELA educator, my goal is to help shape students into independent, original, curious,
and confident individuals. I want them to stand out, speak up for what they believe in, and interpret the
world according to their unique vision. Life is too short for cookie cutter approaches to learning. I seek
to teach students about love, and important social issues, and humanity. To me, such lesson are much
more valuable than ones that instruct you on the right way to shape an essay, for example. Lastly, I hope
that the texts we read, the words we write, and the stories we share inspire my students to seek out
their passions, without fear holding them back.