3

LavenderMagazine.com
 Contents | [ Minnesota's Gay-Lesbian-Bisexual-Transgender Magazine ]

42 On the Townsend LavenderMagazine.com

Quartermaine’s Terms • Sleepers • Hair • FAUX • New Lavender Digital Edition.
Madame Majesta’s Miracle Medicine Show • Alternate
Visions Festival • Pa’s Hat: A Liberian Legacy • Le Squat
46 The Page Boy
Dream Gardens of England: 100 Inspirational Gardens •
Parisians: An Adventure History of Paris • She Looks Just
Like You: A Memoir of (Nonbiological Minnesota Lesbian)
FLIP
FOR
Motherhood • The University Avenue Project, Volume 1 THE NEW

56 Use Your Black “Bar” Tab To Find

BAR SCENE
LAVENDER
DIGITAL
EDITION
48 Bar Advertiser Guide
Find Your Way to Hot Spots
48 Bartender Spotlight
Gay 90’s: Nate
50 Bar Showcase
+ DIGITAL EXTRA: DINING GUIDE • DATELAND

Town House
52 Bar Lens
Twin Cities Gay Pool League Year-End Tournament YOUR CHANCE TO WIN
54 Bar Calendar
Plan Your Bar Outings
PRIZES EVERY ISSUE!
CUISINE
56 Off the Eaten Path
Apertif Restaurant & Bar: Turns Out From-Scratch Dishes
With Mastery and Flair

Photo by Hubert Bonnet BACKTALK

Aperitif 63 Lavender Lens PORTRAIT OF AN ADDICT ROBYN
Clare Housing Groundbreaking Ceremony AS A YOUNG MAN BODY TALK
64 Lavender Lens BY BILL CLEGG CDS
Youth Pride
ANTIGAY 66 Lavender Lens
LGBTA Youth Prom
LUTHERAN 68 The Big Gay Pride Party
Features DJ Roland Belmares
PASTOR 70 The Network
PROTESTS Business Services Directory
TOO MUCH 71 Lavender Lens
North Star Classic and NAGAAA Cup
TAIO CRUZ
ROKSTARR
MACY GRAY
THE SELLOUT
CDS CDS
72 LavenderMagazine.com Calendar
COVER FEATURES Plan Your Fortnight
12 Antigay Lutheran Pastor Protests Too Much 75 Classifieds
Reverend Tom Brock’s “Courage” Falters When Faced Find Some Classy Stuff WandaWisdom.com
With Exposure 76 Community Connection America’s ORIGINAL Podcasting
16 Courage, AKA Faith in Action GLBT-Friendly Nonprofits Drag Queen
An Inside Look at Catholic Gay Chastity Group 77 Lavender Lens
Lavender Summer of Pride Kickoff Party Proud Wanda Keep On ‘Casting!
Pride is just around the corner
81 Consider the Source and your favorite podcasting
COMMUNITY DIALOGUE My Brother the Car drag queen has all sorts of
8 A Word in Edgewise fun for you to participate in!
May the Good Times Roll Again 82 Yellow Pages Advertiser Index
What’s Where This Issue Stay tuned during the whole
10 Queer As Folks month of June for exciting
U of M Lavender Celebration and Awards Ceremony 82 Cartoon surprise guests, appearances
Honors Graduates • Minnesota Trans Health & Wellness Trolín and maybe even a few
Conference Provides Information • St. Paul City Council giveaways! Click on over to Photo by Brian Roby
Passes Resolution Opposing Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell http://wandawisdom.com to
Correction find out what’s hot, where she’s going, and how to join
On page 18 of the June 4 Lavender Pride Edition, the location
PRIDE of the Twin Cities Gay Men’s Chorus EXTRABBAGANZA
in the fun!
20 Twin Cities Pride Festival Brings Usual Concert on June 25-26 was printed incorrectly as Northrop
Excitement with Some New Flair Memorial Auditorium at the University of Minnesota. The
Pride Concert Features Village People and CeCe Peniston correct location is Ted Mann Concert Hall at the U of M.
22 Bitch-N-Brunch Offers Spectacular View of Pride
BigGayNews.com
Your daily podcast of GLBT world
Parade
Interview with Bitch Flowers news!
24 Seattle Pride
Culminates in PrideFest at Seattle Center Top Headlines
Malawi Gay Couple Sentenced to
HOME & YARD BOULEVARD 14 Years In Prison
28 How To: Senior Australian Politician Caught
A User’s Guide to Surviving the Summer Home Project at Gay Sex Club
Mishandling of Funds Alleged at
NEWS & POLITICS Chicago Gay Health Clinic
31 Big Gay News
June 18-July 1, 2010

National and World News

32 The Failure of Sex Education
Part 2 This Issue Next Up Get Your News in 12 Languages!
ISSUE 393 ISSUE 394 Big Gay News now offers TWELVE foreign language
ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT June 18, 2010 July 2, 2010 newswires! You can get international GLBT news from
36 Interview with Kathy Griffin Pride Weekend Pride in Pictures hundreds of sources in twelve different languages. There
Michele Bachmann’s Nemesis Returns to Minneapolis is absolutely no other site offering this much relevant
Home & Yard Blvd. content. Visit http://biggaynews.com today!

4
5
LavenderMagazine.com
 Volume 16, Issue 393 • June 18–July 1, 2010

Editorial
Editor Emeritus Ethan Boatner 612-436-4670
Editorial Director Russell Remmick 612-436-4671
Editorial Associate George Holdgrafer 612-436-4672
Podmaster Bradley Traynor 612-436-4669
Contributors Kolina Cicero, Meryl Cohn, Carla Continenza,
Julie Dafydd, Heidi Fellner, Terrance Griep, Ed Huyck,
Steve Lenius, Casey Merkwan, Jennifer Parello, Todd Park,
Amber Schadewald, Elizabeth Stiras, John Townsend, Carla
Waldemar
Advertising
Sales & Advertising Director Barry Leavitt 612-436-4690
Senior Account Executive Suzanne Farrell 612-436-4699
Account Executives Jonathan Halverson 612-436-4696,
Michael Ladzun 612-436-4697
Sales & Advertising Traffic Coordinator
Linda Raines 612-436-4694
Advertising Associate George Holdgrafer 612-436-4672
Classifieds Suzanne Farrell 612-436-4699
National Sales Representative Rivendell Media
212-242-6863
Creative
Creative Director Hubert Bonnet 612-436-4678
Creative Assistant Mike Hnida 612-436-4679
Photographer Sophia Hantzes
Cartoonist Rodro
Lavender Studios Hubert Bonnet, Mike Hnida
Administration
Publisher Lavender Media, Inc.
President & CEO Stephen Rocheford 612-436-4665
Vice President & CC Pierre Tardif 612-436-4666
Chief Financial Officer Carolyn Lima 612-436-4664
Administrative Assistant Austin Lindstrom 612-436-4661
Founders George Holdgrafer, Stephen Rocheford
Inspiration Steven W. Anderson (1954-1994), Timothy J. Lee
(1968-2002), Russell Berg (1957-2005), Kathryn Rocheford
(1914-2006)

Letters are subject to editing for grammar, punctuation, space,

and libel. They should be no more than 300 words. Letters must
include name, address, and phone number. Unsigned letters will
not be published. Priority will be given to letters that refer to
material previously published in Lavender Magazine. Submit let-
ters to Lavender Magazine, Letters to the Editor, 3715 Chicago
Avenue South, Minneapolis, MN 55407; or e-mail <editor@lav-
endermagazine.com>.

Lavender Media Inc.

3715 Chicago Avenue South, Minneapolis, MN 55407
LavenderYellowPages.com
612-436-4660 office
877-515-9969 toll free
612-436-4685 fax
612-436-4664 subscriptions
612-436-4660 distribution
612-436-4698 advertising
June 18-July 1, 2010

LavenderMagazine.com BigGayNews.com WandaWisdom.com

Entire contents copyright 2010. All rights reserved. Publication of the name or
photograph of any person, organization, or business in this magazine does not
reflect upon one’s sexual orientation whatsoever. Lavender® Magazine reserves
the right to refuse any advertising. This issue of Lavender® Magazine is available
free of charge during the time period published on the cover. Pickup at one of our
distribution sites is limited to one copy per person.

6
7
LavenderMagazine.com
 Community Dialogue > A Word in Edgewise
May the Good Times Roll Again
T
hirty-three years
ago, I took a photo-
graph for the Har-
vard University Gazette’s
June 16 Commencement
Day issue. The caption
later entered into the His-
torical Calendar by Marvin
Hightower reads: “Photograph of Henri
Boulet rowing toward le bon changement [the
good change] in Boston Harbor on June 15
with home-caught shrimp and homemade
crawfish bisque [presumably shipped sepa-
rately] to celebrate sister Ruth’s graduation.
On deck are parents Jon and Jimmy Boulet,
who sailed their boat from Larose, Louisi-
ana, with a crew of eight.”
Larose is beyond the end of Highway
55, straight south of Jackson, Mississippi,
southwest of New Orleans and southeast of
Lafayette, out into the Gulf of Mexico. Part
of Lafourche Parish, in the 2000 census, pre-
June 18-July 1, 2010
8
Hurricane Katrina, Larose had, a population
of 7,306, and an elevation of seven feet. Cut-
ting through Larose, Bayou Lafourche in-
tersects the Gulf Intracostal Waterway.
By Ruth’s 30th Reunion in 2007, their
world had changed drastically, and not in the
bon direction encouraged by the family ves-
sel’s optimistic name. Hurricane Katrina dev-
astated the area in 2005, and today, the region
faces a parlous future because of the as-yet-
unchecked British Petroleum oil spill.
I recently spent several days on Macki-
nac Island, in the clear, cold waters of Lake
Huron, where I watched on TV CNN’s An-
derson Cooper interviewing residents along
the polluted gulf shores. However huge the
Deepwater Horizon disaster is, it can seem
distant and unrelated in an environment so
dramatically different, viewed, say, from the
porch of the magnificent Grand Hotel on
Mackinac Island.
One’s involvement, however, was re-
[ by E.B. Boatner ]
called sharply a ferry ride away on St. Ig-
nace at the Museum of Ojibwa Culture.
Listening to native speaker Tony Grondin
in the museum’s Long House reminded me
of the Native American view: As the sun,
moon, and earth are circles, so we, too, are
a circle, and everything that is, is alive, and
everything has a place on the circle.
The juxtaposition of the Gulf, the clear
North waters, and the Ojibwa suddenly
brought to mind that long-ago moment in
Boston Harbor: the joyous gathering aboard
le bon changement, together with the under-
standing that folks down on the Gulf are
families, friends—people—celebrating birth-
days and graduations, connected to the rest of
us. Their unique occupation and the fragile
environment they harvest are not replaceable.
Those human lives are not interchangeable.
As members of the circle, we all will
share the future in ways we do not yet begin
to comprehend.
9
LavenderMagazine.com
 Community Dialogue > Queer As Folks

Photo by Sophia Hantzes

MINNESOTA TRANS HEALTH

& WELLNESS CONFERENCE
PROVIDES INFORMATION
Photo by Sophia Hantzes
Dubbed The Great Minnesota
(Trans) Get-Together, the Minnesota
Trans Health & Wellness
Conference took place May 14-
15 at the Metropolitan State
University St. Paul Campus. The U OF M LAVENDER CELEBRATION AND AWARDS
Minnesota Transgender Health
Coalition organized the two-day CEREMONY HONORS GRADUATES
event. May 14 was Provide Day,
when health professionals were
able to get more information The University of Union, It honored the names to the GLBTA
on the ever-expanding world of Minnesota’s Queer accomplishments of Programs Office prior
transgender health. May 15 was Student Cultural Center GLBT and ally students, to the ceremony. Held
Community Day, when everyone and Gay, Lesbian, faculty, staff, and each spring, the event
was welcomed to learn more Bisexual, Transgender, community members recognizes individuals
about transgender health and Ally (GLBTA) Programs across the U of M who have stood proud
wellness. The keynote speaker was Office held their annual campuses statewide. as part of the GLBTA
Yosenio Lewis. Some of the festive Lavender Celebration To be included, community.
activities included music, puppets, and Awards Ceremony graduating GLBTA
and a drag show. on May 6 at Coffman students presented their

ST. PAUL CITY COUNCIL PASSES RESOLUTION OPPOSING DON’T ASK, DON’T TELL

On May 26, the St. Paul City Council approved a
resolution opposing the federal Don’t Ask Don’t Tell
policy that discriminates against GLBT military service
members. OutFront Minnesota Executive Director Amy
Johnson said, “Overwhelmingly, Americans recognize
June 18-July 1, 2010
military operations are under way around the world, and
the cost to taxpayers of discharging soldiers and others
they themselves have paid to train. It’s conversations like
these which need to move from city halls to the halls of
Congress, and we applaud St. Paul’s support for keeping

the absurdity of expelling capable soldiers while major that discussion alive.”

Photo by Sophia Hantzes

10
 LavenderMagazine.com

11
 June 18-July 1, 2010

12
> Cover Feature
 Reverend Tom Brock’s “Courage”
Falters When Faced With Exposure
“The lady doth protest too much, methinks.”
—Queen Gertrude in W illiam Shakespeare’s
I
t’s a common human foible to say one
thing, and then do the exact opposite.
For example, a mother who smokes
forbids her child to do so, or a father who
watches violent television programs won’t
let his child do so. In these cases, a double
standard is perfectly defensible.
However, in a free society of consent-
ing adult citizens, “live and let live” should
remain the common baseline. I may not
like what you do or believe, but as long
as you’re not hurting anyone, destroying
common property, or infringing on the
rights or life of others, including myself,
then it’s no problem. As the New Testa-
ment holds: “Do unto others as you would
have them do unto you.”
Unfortunately, petty demagogues of
various religious faiths will claim that it’s
their way to heaven, or the highway to
hell—black and white, with no gray. If you
disagree, you’re deemed to be a moral rela-
tivist who at the very least will be trivialized.
by John Townsend
Hamlet
At worst, like Joan of Arc in the Middle
Ages, you’ll be burned at the stake by the
Catholic Church as a crossdressing heretic.
Or, in 21st-Century Iran, you’ll be hanged
for being a gay teen under Islamic law.
Of course, these are extreme examples,
but they caution that zealotry, too long un-
checked, can be disastrous. They’re remind-
ers that two of the world’s largest religions
have barbaric cruelty in their legacies.
That said, the major religions and
countless minor ones have adherents who
contribute assiduously in myriad ways to-
ward bettering the human condition. But
the faithful of any sect or movement always
should be on guard against demagoguery.
THE ETHICS OF OUTING
As cantankerous and varied as GLBT
activism is, virtually everyone holds priva-
cy sacred. The exception is if someone in a
public position of political, social, or theo-
logical influence engages in homosexual or
transgender activity while at the same time
denouncing the basic civil rights of GLBT
citizens. Former Senator Larry Craig’s re-
stroom cruising and Dr. George Rekers’s
Rentboy.com allegations come to mind.
The GLBT community and its allies
have a wide variety of principled view-
points, often conflicting, on just how out
a GLBT person should or should not be,
as well as what constitutes healthy sexual-
ity or sexual excess. Both sides of these big
philosophical questions are discussed and
argued conscientiously every day.
However, it’s a universal consensus
among GLBT individuals and straight
allies that to bash GLBT persons physi-
cally and/or sociopolitically—but then
turn around, and be homosexually active
oneself—is hypocrisy.
REVEREND TOM BROCK
VERSUS ELCA
Reverend Tom Brock is the Associate
Pastor at Hope Lutheran Church in North
Minneapolis. He is known for his denunci-
ations of homosexuality and GLBT rights
on his daily KKMS AM 980 radio pro-
gram, The Pastor’s Study. His video series
lambastes with outrage the Evangelical LavenderMagazine.com
13
 > Cover Feature
Lutheran Church in America (ELCA) for
progressive attitudes toward women’s re-
productive rights, racial equality, ecologi-
cal stewardship—and, worst of all in his
view, openly gay or lesbian pastors having
the right to minister if they are in a com-
mitted monogamous relationship with a
member of the same sex.
The latter breakthrough, which ELCA
enacted last year, led to the Hope congre-
gation’s breaking with ELCA, and affiliat-
ing with the Association of Free Lutheran
Congregations (AFLC).
Last August, on the day ELCA began
debate over whether gay and lesbian clergy
in committed relationships would be or-
dained as pastors, a tornado that had not
been forecast ripped off part of the roof
at the Minneapolis Convention Center,
where the national ELCA conference was
being held, as well as the cross on the roof
of Central Lutheran Church, the confer-
ence host, across the street. As put forth
in his video series, Brock saw this as a sign
from God that Lutherans must break away
from ELCA.
Brock, who finds omens in any num-
ber of things, noted that what he calls
the ELCA “sex statement” passed by 66.6
percent—a reference to 666, the “Number
of the Beast” (the Antichrist) in the Bible’s
Book of Revelation. The actual vote was
559 to 451.
Amid Brock’s panic over gays in the vid-
eo series is a lower-intensity level of distress
about Lutheran Church financial duress
supposedly caused by liberal attitudes. He
seems to doubt that God will provide.
INTERNALIZING HOMOPHOBIC
SHAME, TWELVE-STEP STYLE
In stunning contrast to all this ho-
mophobic vitriol, I observed firsthand that
the words spoken by the 49-year-old, un-
married Brock from his ivory bully pulpits
do not match his actions.
My first encounter with Brock was at
a confidential meeting of gay men “strug-
gling with chastity” at St. Charles Bor-
romeo Catholic Church in St. Anthony, a
suburb northeast of Minneapolis. It’s not
a Lutheran church, but rather a Catholic
one. This group is sponsored by Faith in
Action (FIA), Minnesota’s official arm of
June 18-July 1, 2010
the global Catholic gay-chastity-main-
tenance organization called Courage. It
models itself after the Twelve Steps of Al-
coholics Anonymous.
FIA holds a two-hour support group at
14
St. Charles every Friday evening from 7 to
9 PM, facilitated by a Catholic priest. It
sometimes starts a few minutes late, giv-
ing participants a chance to settle in, and
grab a cup of coffee or a soda. The men
gather around a long table. The priest be-
gins with a scripturally inspired reading—
which in one session was referred to as a
homily—followed by recitations spoken by
participants, and prayer.
Once this opening ritual concludes,
the next phase commences, as each person
directly shares how well or not he fared
during the previous week, or since the last
meeting he attended, in his struggle to
maintain homosexual chastity. He reports
any homosexual fantasies or feelings; any
resistance or nonresistance to masturba-
tion; any homosexual contact or activity
experienced; and/or any encounter with
homoerotic or arousal-inducing images of
men. He also may digress to other topics
triggered by his “sharing”—which is with-
in permissible parameters.
A group for women meets separately. On
one occasion, a middle-aged lesbian fondly
regarded by members sat in with us.
After the first round, conversation con-
tinues, ranging from discussions about a
particular homosexual rut one of the mem-
bers was in, to financial worries, criticism
of progay political efforts, and defenses of
Catholicism. The term “gay” is eschewed
in favor of words like “disorder” or “gen-
der disorder.” However, very occasionally,
unsquelched comments cropped up about
homophobic bigotry, plus even grudging
admiration for the tenacity of out gay men
facing societal ridicule.
When Brock was in attendance, the
conversation inevitably would turn politi-
cal, focusing on gay and church issues, and
beyond—not only during his first round,
but also in his sharing time, and before the
session commenced.
MY FIRST MEETING
I encountered Brock at my very first
FIA meeting on April 16.
Having arrived 10 minutes early, I
was greeted amicably outside St. Charles
Church by its Pastor, Father Paul A. La
Fontaine. He escorted me inside, down
some stairs, through a kitchen, and into a
meeting room.
At 7 PM, Brock entered with two
younger men, who immediately swooped
toward where I was seated. They grilled
me to ferret out if I was Catholic, or at
least Christian, and how I found out about
the meeting. I was taken aback, as Father
Jim Livingston, in my initial interview at
North Memorial Hospital through which I
was granted access to participate, gave the
impression that the group was compara-
tively low-key and easygoing. I told the
two that I was Baptist, not Catholic, but
that I had great respect for Catholicism,
having defended the Catholic Church
to friends and family. I added that I had
Googled to find the location.
One of the two younger men laughed,
teasing that “now, Tom isn’t the only non-
Catholic in the group.”
At one end of the table, Brock sat ad-
jacent to me. At the opposite end was La
Fontaine. After opening remarks, reading,
recitation, and prayer, he asked how we
had been faring—over the past week, since
we last attended, or in my case since my
interview—with what participants were
calling a “gender disorder.”
Brock recounted that it had been “a
good week.” He had been on a trip to the
East Coast, and had kept his mind off men.
Following the first round were mo-
ments when attendees brought up feeling
excluded and stigmatized as boys for being
inept at sports.
Brock observed that he sometimes
“feels effeminate” because he has no in-
terest in the sports page, and that he feels
deficient because he finds society’s mass
interest in sports to be a bore.
On the other hand, most of the men,
including Brock, expressed a deep love for
opera and classical music. He related that
he was especially fond of a Ralph Vaughan
Williams composition.
When the topic of same-sex marriage
came up, Brock stated, “The world needs
[heterosexual] marriage.”
Another person chimed in, call-
ing same-sex marriage “a cult of mutual
masturbation”—oblivious to the uninten-
tional humor.
At one point, Brock became very in-
tense in talking about some recent sta-
tistics that the percentage of HIV/AIDS
cases caused by homosexual contact had
increased. He was accurate, which is why
safer-sex information should be widely
available—something the group certainly
would oppose.
BROCK WRESTLES WITH
“WEIRD” DEMONS
At the May 28 meeting, as usual, the
priest facilitator—this time, Livingston—
opened with a reading and prayer. The in-
dividual participants then shared how well
or not their efforts to maintain chastity
had been over the past week, or since their
last attendance.
Brock looked buffer than previously, in
a tight-fitting, short-sleeve shirt that ac-
centuated biceps and triceps more ripped
than the month before.
When it was Brock’s turn to share, he
related that he recently had been on “a
preaching mission to Slovakia,” where he
met with other clergy.
Then, Brock admitted, “I fell into temp-
tation. I was weak. That place has this re-
ally, really weird, demonic energy. I just got
weak, and I had been so good for a long
time. Things had been going so well for a
long time. There’s a lot of gypsies there.”
According to Brock, he confessed the fore-
going to someone at Hope Lutheran Church.
Brock clearly was put off by the gypsy
presence in Slovakia, continuing with a sense
of revulsion in his voice, “They’re toothless,
filthy; they smell, stink; and the gypsies are
trained in how to pick your pocket.”
In his video series, Brock slams ELCA
Bishop Mark Hanson for his call to “combat
racism” at a New Orleans youth conference.
However, Brock did clarify that as a
pastor, he got to meet a group of Christian
gypsies who “were so in love with God.”
Brock’s admission of his Slovakian sex-
ual breakdown seemed to have had a subtly
stunning effect on the group. Livingston
made no comment.
Brock went on to tell about a side trip
on to Salzburg and Vienna, Austria, then
to Bavaria, Germany, where he visited
Adolf Hitler’s Eagle’s Nest retreat at Ber-
chtesgaden. He joked about a “fat woman
tour guide,” and how the food was good,
but heavy with meat and potatoes.
In what seemed like an effort to break
the ice over the shock of Brock’s sexual
stumbling in Slovakia, one fellow made
a coy comment about German composer
Richard Wagner, a favorite among the Na-
zis. He started intoning the notes of Flight
of the Valkyries. A smiling Brock joined in
wafting his hand as if he were a conductor
with a baton.
LUTHERAN PASTOR PICKS
CATHOLIC PRIEST’S BRAIN
Before the May 28 meeting started,
Brock wondered if Livingston ever got
hostile feedback from seriously ill patients
at North Memorial. Always on an even
keel, Livingston responded that when it
does occur, some patients will claim they
are all right with God, and don’t really
need a priest.
Shaking his head with condescending
affirmation, Brock declared, “Yeah, they
think they can do it all on their own, and
don’t need anyone to help them.”
Later on, Brock told of a Catholic
priest in St. Michael, Minnesota, who re-
cently officiated the funeral of a man who
had lived with a longtime same-sex part-
ner. Brock questioned the rightness of this
situation, pointing out if he were in the
priest’s shoes, he would have been reluc-
tant to conduct the funeral.
Livingston countered that it could be
done as “an act of charity.”
BROCK ON WOMEN
Later in the session, Brock remarked
that even though he is “against the ordi-
nation of women pastors,” he presented a
workshop to female Lutheran pastors in
Slovakia. But, in his words, “I didn’t tell
these women that I actually don’t believe
in women being pastors.” However, he
learned that many women pastors there
were “assistant pastors to their husband,
who was the head pastor,” and that ulti-
mately, “nature takes over, when they have
children, and they then assume their role
as mother and leave ministry behind.”
That very day, on The Pastor’s Study,
in describing the plight of an abused wife,
Brock asserted that one “is to suffer for
Christ. Her husband was a stinker, but she
stuck it out for the sake of Christ.” In the
same episode, he also railed against EL-
CA’s GLBT tolerance.
HOMOPHOBIA OR HETEROSEXISM?
When I asked Dr. Steve Burns, a Li-
censed Psychologist, about the internal-
ized homophobia of closeted gay and bi-
sexual men, he explained that it was not
homophobia, but rather “heterosexism—
that the only truly normal way to believe
is heterosexual. So, it follows, then, that if
you were anything other than heterosexu-
al—gay, for instance—growing up in the
culture, then every image you get is that
there’s something wrong with you, and
you need to hide it.”
Burns stressed that help is available at
every level of being closeted, and that ca-
pable therapists will not push anyone to-
ward some agenda.
One thing I noticed is that all FIA par-
ticipants held a sweepingly generalized
caricature view of how they thought gay
men interacted and lived in general. The
myth of the so-called “gay agenda,” along
with a basic ignorance of myriad differ-
ences between gay men, was intrinsic.
LUTHERAN RUPTURE/LUTHERAN
HEALING
In his video series, seething with dis-
gust, Brock stirs his viewers to leave ELCA
because of its inclusion of gay and lesbian
pastors in committed relationships. He ex-
horts his flock: “Game over!”
The fourth stated AFLC principle is:
“It is therefore the sacred obligation of the
congregation to purify itself by the quick-
ening preaching of the Word of God, by
earnest admonition and exhortation, and by
expelling the openly sinful and perverse.”
This grim, abject theology is echoed
in two films, Fanny and Alexander and The
White Ribbon. In both, the internalized hor-
ror of Lutheran pastors over eternal dam-
nation is projected unmercifully onto those
they deem foul. And in doing so, they actu-
ally contradict themselves—because if God
is perfect, He does not make mistakes.
French novelist Romain Gary once re-
marked about the Iowa Lutheran upbring-
ing of his tormented ex-wife, actress Jean
Seberg, that it indoctrinated her with “its
inbred poison of original sin.”
ELCA wisely and urgently has intu-
ited this contradiction between spiritual
colonialism and spiritual wholeness. The
GLBT controversies are only symptom-
atic of a larger obstinacy that seems more
fitting not in a free society, but in a fear-
based culture where adherents congregate
in secret to ward off Satanic spirits. ELCA’s
loving moral courage and serious efforts
toward restoring compassion, as well as a
concept maligned a lot lately by reaction-
ary rhetoric—“justice”—serve to rescue
Christianity from the pre-Enlightenment
crowd. It’s cause for optimism.
LavenderMagazine.com
15
 > Cover Feature
COURAGE,
AKA Faith in Action
An Inside Look at Catholic Gay Chastity Group
“The change in public attitudes
had a profound and lasting impact
on European institutions and culture
as a result of the permanent and of-
ficial expression it achieved in thir-
teenth-century laws, literature, and
theology, all of which continued to
influence Western thought and social
patterns long after the disappearance
of the particular circumstances which
produced them.”
—John Boswell, Christianity, So-
cial Tolerance, and Homosexuality
We’ve heard of righteous enterpris-
es seeking to turn gay people straight
through so-called conversion therapies
that don’t work. Exodus Global Alliance,
recently scandalized by its brutal Ugandan
contacts, comes to mind, or methods to
“turn gays straight” revealed so hilariously
in the mockumentary Bruno.
However, the ministry known as Cour-
age would appear to offer a more rational,
humane approach. Tailored specifically to
support persons with same-sex attraction,
it is pontifically approved. As a Catholic
organization, Courage supposedly loves
the sinner, but not the sin.
Instead of “conversion therapy,” Cour-
age’s first goal is to have participants live
chaste lives in accordance with the Roman
Catholic Church’s teachings on homosex-
uality. “Chaste” is the preferred term over
“abstinence.”
Support sessions, as Courage’s third
goal states, “foster a spirit of fellowship in
which we may share with one another our
June 18-July 1, 2010
thoughts and experiences, and so ensure
that none of us have to face the problem of
sexuality alone.”
The Courage participants I was as-
sociated with referred to this so-called
16
[ by John Townsend ]
problem as a “disorder” and a “gender dis-
order,” even though the American Psychi-
atric Association declassified homosexual-
ity as a mental illness in 1973. To further
reinforce this misconception, Courage
directly borrows from the “Twelve Steps
of Alcoholics Anonymous” in “The Twelve
Steps of Courage.”
The word “gay” automatically is deflect-
ed, because it’s considered “a sociopolitical
term.” Hence, any deeper discussion of gay
folk beyond their sexual urges is ruled out.
That deep love between men occurs and
can bring social stability is shut out.
One man at a Courage session I at-
tended said, “Gay men are not able to love
other gay men. It’s just about sex.”
That was the group’s standard view.
TOXIC MYTHS AND MESSAGING
Doug Jensen, a Twin Cities-based
Clinical Social Worker, explains, “One of
the core reasons why people stay closeted
and internalize that same-sex attraction is
negative comes from religious-based mes-
sages. Even political campaigns fall into
this. It’s always based on religion, and
that God thinks it’s wrong. There’s fear
of repercussions—familially, socially, and
occupationally. Messages are repeated and
repeated and repeated from the day we are
born that the only healthy role model is
the healthy straight relationship. There
are not nearly enough healthy role mod-
els for gay men, and I don’t think Will &
Grace is a healthy role model. It’s very hard
for anyone to challenge these pervasive
and chronic messages, and there are layers
and layers and layers in media, church, and
family that transmit this.”
I BECOME “COURAGEOUS”
I was admitted into Courage, whose lo-
cal chapter is known in Minnesota as Faith
in Action (FIA), after contacting Kathy
Laird, Director of the Office of Fam-
ily, Laity, and Youth for the Archdiocese
of Minneapolis and St. Paul. I was put in
touch with Father Jim Livingston at his
North Memorial Hospital Chaplain’s Of-
fice in the suburb of Robbinsdale north-
west of Minneapolis, where he interviewed
me for 45 minutes.
Livingston seems an odd choice to
advance homosexual abstinence. Middle-
aged but well-preserved, he’s handsome
and athletically built, stands more than six
feet tall, and wears glasses without looking
nerdy. He has a knack of making you feel
like you’re all that matters.
Using an alias, I feigned a blue-collar
identity as a man whose breakup with his
girlfriend had surfaced unexpected attrac-
tions to men, making me worry that these
feelings would lead toward my ruin.
Livingston sympathized, stating that
my situation was not uncommon—and
on that count, he was right. He stressed
that FIA is not a program to turn gay men
straight, but a space where, as the Courage
Apostolate asserts, I might “experience the
freedom of interior chastity.”
A few weeks later, I went to St. Charles
Borromeo Church in St. Anthony, a sub-
urb northeast of Minneapolis. I was met by
Father Paul A. Fontaine, who buzzed me
in to a sequestered area for FIA’s weekly
two-hour rap session. Herein, closeted men
share their success, or lack thereof, in their
struggle to abstain from not only homo-
sexual contact, but also homoerotic feelings
that may lead to masturbation, since the last
week or their last attendance. FIA or Cour-
age are not listed on St. Charles’s website.
A different priest facilitates each week.
La Fontaine, Pastor of St. Charles, is a
middle-aged man who seems a bit world-
weary. Father Jim Liekhus, from St. John
the Evangelist Catholic Church in subur-
ban Hopkins, looks to be around age 30,
and has an intense edge. Livingston, char-
ismatic and comfortably low-key, is the
most effective facilitator, who can sting
with Biblical admonition, and then turn
appealingly soft-spoken.
BOURNE IS NOT PORN
Two generational polarities seemed to
define the FIA group, though all ages con-
sciously, deliberately were on guard against
that which would tempt them to homoerot-
ic lust. Imagine a coffee klatch of matrons
fretting about unbidden erotic feelings.
One man, who shared that he had
watched a DVD of Matthew Bourne’s cho-
reography, called it “pornography.” Then
again, much is deemed pornographic by
the group. Having interviewed Bourne, I
stifled a laugh. His crossgender Swan Lake,
an unprecedented global hit, supremely
blended athleticism with grace. His fam-
ily appeal is solid, with a dance version of
Edward Scissorhands and his Broadway tri-
umph, Mary Poppins.
STIGMATIZING PHYSICAL
MALE BEAUTY
The group’s reflexive tendency is to la-
bel any image of an attractively contoured,
athletic man ipso facto pornography.
One participant, quite fit, no longer
goes to the gym because of other in-shape,
naked, and tempting manly bodies to be
seen there. He noted, “I have all my work-
out equipment at home now.” He had been
attending FIA for years, yet it seemed that
even though he had gotten everything else
in his life in order—finances, good health,
satisfying job, and social networks—he
never could drive away his desires.
This man described it metaphori-
cally: “I spend a lot of time shifting my
focus onto green plants, rather than the
elephant. The elephant is my disorder.
Looking at the plants keeps my mind off
the elephant.”
The fellow shared this struggle that
just wouldn’t go away a few times, one of
them being when Hope Lutheran Church
Associate Pastor Tom Brock was a fellow
participant. Brock himself made a point
of saying that the man’s description of his
struggle with abstinence dovetailed with
what he, too, was going through.
OLD WIVES’ TALES OF AGING
CLOSETED GAY MEN
Another man, a fair bit older, brought
up the “what if” trap. He wondered out
loud, “What if I had let that guy buy me
a drink?”—25 years ago. He thought he
then might have turned to a life of sin. Re-
gret masquerading as character?
This same person also carried a gran-
diose sense of guilt over a friend he had
sex with decades ago who moved to San
Francisco with his wife, contracted AIDS,
and died. As if cautioning the others, he la-
mented, “If only I hadn’t had sex with him,
maybe he’d still be alive today.”
TRANS DOES NOT EQUAL GAY
That man also warned of someone who
“spent a lot of money on porn and wom-
en’s clothes. It got to the point where he
would have to travel all over just to hide
it, so that nobody in town would know. It
was destroying him financially.” The par-
ticipant generalized that because the man
crossdresses, he’s gay. But that’s not neces-
sarily true. Straight men can and do cross-
dress, while countless gay and bisexual men
have no interest at all in crossdressing.
THE ILLUSION OF BALANCE
On the other hand, talk about honor-
able aspects of gay politics was allowed, as
long as it didn’t dominate discussion, and
it did happen a few times.
A younger man who made the com-
mon group complaint of abject loneliness
related that he had broken down, and gone
to a barbecue hosted by gay friends. He
thought they were courageous for facing
discrimination, and being out in a homo-
sexual-hostile world.
Two men expressed a fairly principled
difference of opinion about the right of
long-term gay partners and hospital-vis-
itation rights in cases of serious and ter-
minal illness. This issue recently took the
form of Governor Tim Pawlenty’s veto of
the Final Wishes Bill. One of the two is a
senior citizen, and FIA is a social event he
looks forward to weekly.
HETEROSEXUAL PRIMACY VERSUS
HOMOSEXUAL DEMONIZATION
However, these seemingly fair and bal-
anced moments were ephemeral. Occa-
sionally, childhood traumas surfaced.
One man observed with visceral an-
guish, “When my Dad found out, he said
he hoped I wouldn’t molest kids.” That his
father’s comment was brutal and unfair was
acknowledged. But in FIA’s eyes, it’s to be
expected and accepted as a cross to bear—
because, after all, the son is “disordered.”
No discussion took place about the father’s
ignorance—where he might have gotten
such destructive ideas, or where does one
draw the line regarding the Command-
ment “Thou shalt not commit adultery.”
A very troubled man in his 20s—who
had utter contempt for progay activism—
literally seethed with anxiety about social
pressures he felt were out there in the
world that wanted him to go the way of ho-
mosexuality—hence, away from salvation.
He had visited various priestly orders on
a quest for his life’s purpose. Although he
clearly and naturally presented as straight
and masculine, he was hyperconscious that
others “would know.” It gnawed at him.
The younger men in the group utterly
were tyrannized that they don’t have nu-
clear families, and make less money than
other siblings. They severely were hooked
into obvious patterns of sibling rivalry—
comparison and competitiveness—that any
therapist immediately would have honed
in on. But no need to reckon with that in
FIA’s eyes. Just stay “chaste.”
IT’S THE MEDIA’S FAULT!
IT’S THE CULTURE!
Participants often groused about “the
culture”—code for the endless train of sig-
nals in the media and outside world that
make them think of hot men.
During the only time I heard the Cath-
olic priest pedophile scandals mentioned,
it was Catholicism that was being perse-
cuted, not the kids. One middle-aged man
insisted with great indignation that he was
“sick of everyone trying to destroy my
church!” The University of St. Catherine,
St. Joan of Arc Church in Minneapolis,
and President Barack Obama, along with a
man who had defected from the group and
started a progay self-esteem website, were
referred to with sarcastic derision.
Livingston told me at my interview
that some men in the group ended up just
“throwing away their computer” because
of the cultural temptation it offered.
Participants felt computers were Satan’s
playthings, because they led to Internet gay
porn and man-to-man hookups. But even
channel-surfing on television was treacher-
ous, because one always would encounter
images to trigger homoerotic desire. So,
technology is Satan’s enabler. That the onus
is on us to control technology, rather than
letting it control us, is not considered.
TIME WARP
Jensen’s view applies to the FIA group
I attended, which definitely was layered in
negative messaging about same sex attrac-
tion. In a metro area as multifaceted and
multicultural as the Twin Cities, it seemed
so odd that a group of men—mostly over
40, with college degrees—was so sheltered
LavenderMagazine.com
from information about the outside world.
These men were steeped in paranoid
stereotypes of gayness reminiscent of the
late 1940—a Mattachine Society in re-
17
 > Cover Feature
verse. Instead of a secret inquiry into the
roots of gay oppression because homo-
sexuality was unmentionable, the Courage
group was a secretly convened reinforce-
ment of that oppression in our comparably
far more liberal time.
Bisexuality never was spoken of. Cross-
dressing sweepingly and wrongly was as-
sumed to be a homosexual behavior.
Everyone in the group but one could
pass as Caucasian. The only man of color
who occasionally showed up complained
that at past meetings, he had not been un-
derstood fully.
But then, Courage pelvis-gazes in a time
warp. It was formed in 1980 under the ae-
gis of Terence Cardinal Cooke, Archbishop
of New York, with Father John Harvey as
Founding Director. That was soon after
Anita Bryant’s antigay campaign galvanized
social conservatives, setting the tone for an
antigay backlash exacerbated shortly there-
after when the AIDS crisis hit.
All that was a generation ago. Waves of
new information and analysis since have
influenced both GLBT consciousness and
the hetero mainstream.
Nowadays, reasonable conservatives re-
spect lavender thinkers such as Andrew Sul-
livan and Camille Paglia, both Catholics,
and Bruce Bawer, with Catholicism in his
background. But they’re of no interest to
Courage, which is oblivious to straight al-
lies being commonplace now. Even revered
conservative columnist David Brooks of
The New York Times at Minneapolis’s West-
minster Town Hall Forum called same-sex
marriage a conservatizing force.
Courage has erased GLBT historical
heroes. No mention of Baron Friedrich
Wilhelm von Steuben, crucial in George
Washington’s modernization of the Conti-
nental Army; Nobel Laureate Jane Addams
of Hull House fame; pioneering sexologist
Magnus Hirschfeld, exiled from Nazi Ger-
many; or Charlotte von Mahlsdorf, subver-
sively anti-Communist museum founder.
RELIGION VERSUS SCIENCE
In the anti-Copernican spirit felt even
today in the antiscience Culture Wars,
Courage does not believe that homosexu-
ality is biologically determined. It cleaves
to a belief that sexual orientation is disor-
June 18-July 1, 2010
dered, and can be changed. However, most
of the men in my Courage group long had
been flummoxed and tormented about why
after all the years they’d been attending
meetings, they had not changed, but still
18
had to fight off desires for men, homo-
erotic fantasy, and masturbation spurred
by such fantasy. The group has a stated
fear of ministries that see gays as having
special gifts from God. Courage members
attend Mass often, typically at more con-
servative parishes.
Chaste friendships are extolled as nec-
essary in celibate Christian life, propa-
gating the archaic myth that gay men are
unable to have platonic relationships with
other gay men, or that they constantly
must be submerging nymphomanical pas-
sions toward straight men.
Those who see sexual suppression as
noble, or a necessary evil, may think Cour-
age’s abstinence position sounds healthy
or “mature”—after all, promiscuity indeed
can lead to self-destruction if not seriously
tempered.
But Courage is a Lewis Carroll world
where preoccupation with sexual absti-
nence paradoxically becomes a kind of
sexual fixation. And, of course, who gets to
define promiscuity?
LAUGHABLE BUT TRAGIC
If you chuckled over some of my obser-
vations as an FIA participant, that’s healthy.
Overreaction to sexual issues certainly can
be humorous. But remember that this is an
essentially tragic situation, so check your
wrath and scorn.
These men, drenched in all their un-
examined notions, are chained in palpable
fear of loss of public face and eternal dam-
nation should they ever acknowledge their
natural impulses even in their most singu-
lar private moments—much less act upon
them. After each session, participants can
go to confession down the hall with the fa-
cilitating priest.
The priests deserve some pity. They
don’t know themselves. They supposedly
always have held to celibacy, so the expan-
sive nature of sexual awakening health-
ily channeled is shut off to them—arrested
development. To read a variety of sexual
literature and sexology rather than the dra-
conian treatises on sex’s supposedly sinful
nature or “unnaturalness” would subvert
the blind, unquestioning obedience that the
authoritarian realm of the Catholic hierar-
chy commands. In essence, these priests and
their adherents have been emasculated.
Hunger and sex are two basic human
drives. When they are satiated to excess,
serious problems indeed do arise. When
hunger is not addressed, we starve. When
sex is not addressed, we unconsciously
short-circuit that energy toward inappro-
priate and/or self-destructive behaviors.
Courage does not speak for all Catho-
lics. Religions, by and large, can be inter-
preted toxically or splendidly. A wonder-
ful thing about Catholicism, as well as
Lutheranism, is that within their ranks is
a willingness to look at their own warts—
something any number of other Christian
denominations and other faiths do not
do. Both denominations were thought by
some to have dropped the ball in the 1930s
and 1940s. Thus, it’s natural that in the
following decades, so many Catholics and
Lutherans have returned to Jesus’ beauti-
ful, loving teachings, and championed hu-
man rights and the virtue of compassion.
While attending FIA, I made a point of
watching two wondrous classic films that
wrestle with Catholic theology. Federico
Fellini’s Juliet of the Spirits wisely cau-
tions that religious concepts misapplied
can hardwire psychic damage in females.
Franco Zeferelli’s Brother Sun, Sister Moon
rescues Catholicism, reminding us how ut-
terly colossal was the love of St. Francis of
Assisi for all of God’s creation.
As long as members of any religion
keep mean-spiritedness at bay, and in-
corporate new information in a changing
world, they can be much-needed forces for
human betterment and stewardship of the
earth. With that frame of mind, timeless
values put forth by religion can be revivi-
fied instead of being stuck obstinately in
the 13th Century.
Jensen remarks, “People need to stop
blaming God, and own their own insecuri-
ties and fears.”
Melik Kaylan warns from a Muslim
perspective: “Arabian fundamentalists
concluded that if post-medieval progress
in the world made their values unwork-
able, then it was the world’s fault, and the
world should be stopped in its tracks.”
One can argue that the same applies to
certain—though far from all—interpreta-
tions of Christianity. Let’s hope the gen-
eration of moderate and progressive Cath-
olics—and lots of them are out there—will
stop the new Flat Earthers in their tracks.
As for those struggling with coming to
terms with sexual orientation at variance
to strict heterosexuality, nonjudgemental,
confidential therapists and counselors can
provide individual help at whatever point
of openness or closetedness one is at. It’s
all about letting go of shame.
 LavenderMagazine.com

19
 > Pride
Twin Cities Pride Festival
Brings Usual Excitement with
Some New Flair
Pride Concert Features Village People and CeCe Peniston
S
tarting college can be a scary yet
exciting experience for most young
people, but it can be even more so
when you’re from out of state, and
trying to find your place in a community.
Andrew Nutt was about to start his
freshmen year at the University of Min-
nesota when he first heard of Twin Cities
Pride. In the summer of 2007, with the in-
fluence of his friends, he decided to check
out the festival.
Nutt recalls, “I kind of knew that Min-
neapolis had a really large GLBT commu-
nity, but seeing the parade take over Down-
town and go to Loring Park kind of took
me by surprise. It was overwhelming, but a
good feeling.”
Though he had been out for a while,
Nutt never had seen such a public display
of GLBT culture.
Nutt adds, “I’d never seen a parade with
a section of all drag queens, a section of
something that wasn’t a satire sitcom on
TV. I was shocked by the amount of people
that were there.”
Going into his senior year at the U,
Nutt has gone to the Pride Festival every
year since. That first year, he accidentally
found himself in the Dyke March.
Nutt shares, “It was really fun to walk
through Minneapolis, and march for a good
cause, and just to let people know that we’re
June 18-July 1, 2010
here. It was a really good experience doing
that. I do it every year now.”
Twin Cities Pride Executive Director
Dot Belstler keeps people like Nutt in mind
when planning the annual Pride Festival.
The 38th annual Twin Cities Pride Fes-
20
[ by Casey Merkwan ]
tival is just around the corner: Saturday,
June 26, and Sunday, June 27, in Loring
Park, Minneapolis.
Planning for this event goes on nearly
all year round. Every year, organizers try
to make subtle changes to make the experi-
ence more memorable.
One of the new things Pride is imple-
menting at this year’s festival is a place for
youth between the ages of 13 and 20. The
Youth Zone, presented by Best Buy, will
be near Living Well Park. It will provide
fun, smoke- and chemical-free activities for
young people.
Belstler says, “What about the kid from
Bemidji who shows up this weekend—how
is he going to connect with organizations
that can help? This developed as a concept
for kids coming in to say, ‘Hey, there is a
place for you to connect here.’”
For youth or anyone who never has been
to Pride before, Nutt suggests checking out
smaller events first. He points out that many
local organizations there can be helpful.
Belstler observes that the perennial His-
tory Pavilion is a great resource for partici-
pants, especially new ones. The world-re-
nowned Tretter Collection will be featured
both Saturday and Sunday in the large
building at the east end of the lake in Lor-
ing Park. Pride-goers can learn about the
history and accomplishments of the GLBT
community and movement.
Also new this year is Doggie Day, which
takes place Saturday, June 26, 11 AM-4
PM, near the Dog Park. It will include
lure-coursing and Doggie Drag. Sign-ups
to be a foster parent for dogs will be avail-
able from Underdog Rescue Minnesota or
Small Dog Rescue of Minnesota.
The Pride Concert on Saturday night
features the Village People and CeCe Pe-
niston, along with local entertainers DJ
Shiek, Ellis, and Electric Avenue. It’s for 18
and older. The cost is just $10.
Of course, Sunday, June 27, is the big
day, staring with the Pride Parade. Last
year, it drew more than 125,000 people,
making it one of the largest in the Up-
per Midwest. The parade starts at 11 AM
along Hennepin Avenue, beginning at
Third Street.
This year’s Pride Grand Marshal is Dr.
Stan Hill, Artistic Director of the Twin Cit-
ies Gay Men’s Chorus. Making an appear-
ance in the parade are the winners of the
Everyday Hero Award, Paul and Hjordy
Wagner, who authored the book Ready or
Not…They’re Gay, the story of parenting
two gay sons. Their book recently received
a Lavender PRIDE Award as well.
Belstler relates, “It’s a great experience to
celebrate our whole community. Whether
you’re a GLBTQ person, or friend or family
or ally, there’s something for you there.”
According to Belstler, building a sense
of community is an important part of the
Pride Festival. Nutt definitely felt that the
first time he went to Pride.
Nutt remarks, “I think it’s hard not to
when there’s that amount of people in one
area. There’s a lot of friendships, and it’s
just really welcoming, and you don’t feel
like you have anything to be afraid of.”
For more information, visit <www.
tcpride.org>.
 LavenderMagazine.com

21
 > Pride
Bitch-N-Brunch Offers Spectacular View of Pride Parade
Interview with Bitch Flowers
T
he one-and-only Bitch Flowers
hosts Bitch-N-Brunch on Pride
Sunday, June 27, 10 AM-3 PM,
at Seven’s Rooftop Lounge on
Hennepin Avenue in Minneapolis. This
Lavender Summer of Pride event is a ben-
efit for The Aliveness Project.
Lavender recently interviewed Flowers
about a number of topics.
When did you begin performing, and
what prompted you to start doing drag?
Bitch Flowers is a character that I cre-
ated in the late ’80s. I was more of a club
character at the time. I then moved to New
York City. It was in New York that I learned
from other club kids and drag queens to
perfect her image.
June 18-July 1, 2010
How did you come up with the name
Bitch Flowers? Do you ever get political-
correctness flack because of the “bitch”
in your name?
I have never been given any flack from
22
Photo Courtesy of Bitch Flowers
[ by George Holdgrafer ]
people because of the name. It has been
my experience that most women who have
strong character, unique style, and big per-
sonality are often called “bitch” behind their
back. You know, like that girl who walks into
a club, completely dressed to the nines, and
knows the staff and management, and the
DJ. The bartender knows her drink. And, of
course, she has her own table. There is always
a group of girls standing nearby, all dressed
somewhat alike. You know, no personal style.
They would whisper to each other—referring
to that woman as a total bitch. I wanted to be
her. “She” was my inspiration.
When and where do you perform?
As far as performing, I throw an annual
event at the Varsity Theatre every spring:
April Showers Bring Bitch Flowers. It’s a drag
variety show, and my birthday event. I also
perform for private events and fundraisers.
What is Bitch-N-Brunch, which
you’ve done in previous years? How and
why did you connect with Lavender for
this year’s event?
Bitch-N-Brunch is in its third year. I
started it with Seven as a fundraiser and a
fun event to bring the community together
to watch the parade, and have a great time.
After last year’s event, Barry Leavitt ap-
proached us about Lavender being a part of
the Brunch. I liked the idea of being able to
raise more money for The Aliveness Proj-
ect by our partnering.
Anything else you’d like to add?
I would just like to add that I am so
pleased with the love and support that I have
received from the Twin Cities at each of my
events. It’s so great to see how the Bitch
events have brought together not only the
GLBT community, but the nongay commu-
nity has also embraced the events. In fact,
at this year’s April Showers event, more than
half the guests were women. Many groups of
gals left their husbands at home, and made
the Bitch event a “girls night out.”
 LavenderMagazine.com

23
 > Pride

Seattle
Pride
Culminates in
PrideFest at
Seattle Center
For this year’s Pride, Seattle, Wash-
ington, turns into an Emerald City with
the theme “Over the Rainbow.” Produced
by Seattle Out and Proud, it celebrates
the passage of Referendum 71, a historic
milestone that places the State of Wash-
ington squarely in the forefront of GLBT
civil rights. The event drew more than
350,000 people in 2009.
Here are some of the highlights Pride
Weekend:

FRIDAY, JUNE 25
• Celebrate Pride—Seattle Storm vs.
Indiana
• 4th Annual Gay Pride Hot Dog
Blessing
• Girl4Girl Gay Pride Party at Cirque
Event Center
• Wildrose Pride Block Party
• Julia’s On Broadway Gay Pride Block
Party

SATURDAY, JUNE 26
• Capitol Hill Pride Festival
• Seattle Dyke March & Rally
• Purr Block Party
• Wildrose Pride Block Party
• Julia’s On Broadway Gay Pride Block
Party

SUNDAY, JUNE 27
• Pride Parade
• Seattle PrideFest at Seattle Center
• MoMo: The Street Party of
PrideFest
June 18-July 1, 2010

• Cuff Pride Day Street Party

• Wildrose Pride Block Party

For more information, visit <www.Se

attlePride.org>.

24
 June 18-July 1, 2010

26
 LavenderMagazine.com

27
 Home & Yard Boulevard |
HOW TO:
USER'S GUIDE TO SURVIVING THE
SUMMER HOME PROJECT
For some reason, summer brings the idea
that we should do some major home proj-
ect. It’s nice out, so it seems nice to tear the
house apart, and sweat in the summer heat.
I’m not sure why this idea doesn’t occur in
the winter, when you’re stuck in the house
anyway, but that’s for another discussion.
So, you’ve decided you want to tackle
some major home improvements this sum-
mer. Now what?
STEP 1: THE PLAN
This is actually rather important. Going
into your project with “I’ll figure it out as
we go” is not an idea. It’s you being lazy,
and eventually single (unless you are al-
ready single, in which case you’ll be drink-
ing a lot of alcohol before it’s done). You
need to know what you’re going to do, and
how you’re going to go about it. You always
can search the Internet for some inspira-
tion, or head to your local Home Depot for
some inspiration and manly eye candy. This
is very crucial, because you quickly can get
derailed, ending up with a totally different
project than you envisioned. And let’s not
forget the pocketbook.
June 18-July 1, 2010
STEP 2: THE BUDGET
Before you even lift a hammer, figure out
how much this project is going to cost you.
Go through the list of supplies that you have
28
and that you’re going to need, along with
any other factors you can figure out ahead of
time. Any home improvement project quick-
ly can go from a cheap endeavor to an ex-
pensive remodel. If you’re doing something
major, like tearing something apart, you also
will need to plan for some unexpected ex-
penses you normally wouldn’t think of, such
as damaged walls or floors you didn’t know
you had prior to starting. Pad your budget
for these types of things. Or sell a kidney
when you realize you failed to do so.
STEP 3: MEASURING
Simple idea, isn’t it? But it’s where most
people manage to screw everything up.
Guessing the size of your room is not mea-
suring. It’s being dumb. If you don’t own a
tape measure, buy one—maybe even two.
It’s important to measure everything, be-
cause once you cut…well, you can’t take it
back. You either have some ugly-ass work,
or must sell that aforementioned kidney.
STEP 4: RECEIPTS AND
RETURN POLICIES
Keep Them and Know Them! It’s impor-
tant. Unless you are an expert remodeler,
chances are you’re going to buy the wrong
thing at least once, and need to return
it. Most likely, by the end of the project,
you’re going to become best friends with
[ by Russell Remmick ]
the cashier. So, make sure that you keep ev-
ery receipt. Know exactly what you can and
can’t return, as well as if you get cash back
or only store credit. Unless you plan to buy
everything at one place, getting store credit
may be another way to spend way more
than you planned.
STEP 5: BEER—OR HUMOR
They actually both are useful things to
have. At some point, the project is going to
seem far too big and complicated, or you’re
going to screw something up, and realize
you spent a lot of time doing the complete-
ly wrong thing. Worse, the person who
agreed to help you for free just destroyed
your home, and you can’t fire him or her.
Tensions are going to run high at some
point of the project, so unless you have a
way to relax and cool off, things are going
to go from bad to worse.
If all else fails: Burn the house down.
No, not really. But it’s just an idea I’m
throwing out there. Insurance fraud is the
shoplifting of the 21st Century.
Every home project is going to cause
stress, but being able to sit back, and enjoy
the end results, mistakes included, is going
to bring a sense of pride and accomplish-
ment that you never would get if you paid
someone else to do it for you.
 LavenderMagazine.com

29
 June 18-July 1, 2010

30
Big Gay News >
[ Written & Compiled by Bradley Traynor ]

NATIONAL
CHILDREN OF LESBIANS
HAVE FEWER BEHAVIORAL
PROBLEMS
A new study published in the journal
Pediatrics concludes that children raised in
lesbian households were psychologically
well-adjusted, and had fewer behavioral
problems than their peers. It followed 78
lesbian couples over the past 25 years. Dr.
Nanette Gartrell, author of the study, was
surprised by the results. She said, “I would
have anticipated the kids would be doing
as well as the normative sample. I didn’t
expect better.”

STUDY SAYS GAY MEN ARE

THINNER, LESBIANS MORE
OVERWEIGHT
A new study published in the American
Journal of Public Health found that gay men
are leaner and lesbians more overweight
than their heterosexual counterparts. Re-
searchers, looking at a sample of more than
67,000 participants, found that only 14 per-
cent of the gay men were obese, compared
with 21 percent of straight men; 26 percent
of the lesbians were obese, compared with
only 17 percent of straight women. The
study also discovered that gays and lesbians
were more likely to smoke than their het-
erosexual counterparts.

WORLD
BRAZIL HOLDS “WORLD’S
BIGGEST” GAY PARADE
Organizers of the annual Gay Pride
Parade in Sao Paulo, Brazil, state that this
year’s event drew more than three mil-
lion participants, making it the largest gay
pride parade in the world. The theme was
“Vote Against Homophobia.” Started in
1997, the parade is financed by the state
government, with sponsorship from Bra-
zil’s state-run oil company Petrobras.

LESBIAN COUPLE
CELEBRATES PORTUGAL’S
FIRST GAY MARRIAGE
The Associated Press reports that a
lesbian couple has celebrated Portugal’s
first same-sex marriage ceremony since
the country legalized marriage for same-
LavenderMagazine.com

sex couples. The couple, both of whom

are in their 30s, have been together since
2003. Their wedding took place at a Lis-
bon registry office.

31
 > News & Politics
SEX
EDUCATION
HIV AND STI RATES ON THE RISE
PART 2
A
s is the case with HIV, many Sexual-
ly Transmitted Infections (STIs) are
on the rise. They once commonly
were known as Sexually Transmitted Dis-
June 18-July 1, 2010
eases (STDs), but the term “STI” has been
increasing in usage, as many STDs are not
diseases, but rather infections.
Though the terms are interchangeable
for many people, STI actually refers to the
germ—virus, bacteria, or parasite—that can
32
THE FAILURE OF
[ by Russell Remmick ]
cause disease or sickness. Thus, “STI” is a
much broader term than “STD.”
An STD only refers to infections that
produce symptoms. As many STIs do not
cause symptoms in many of the people who
are infected with them, “STI” is becoming
the more commonly used definition.
Although most STIs are treatable with
either penicillin or antibiotics, many people
do not worry about them—or practice safe
sex—but they still pose great risks to sexu-
ally active people.
This belief can help lead to greater risks
of being infected with HIV. As STIs in-
crease the chances of either being infected
with HIV, or, for an HIV-positive person,
transmitting the virus to a sexual partner(s),
it is important to know about STIs: how to
protect yourself and your sexual partners
from them.
 CHLAMYDIA
Chlamydia is the most frequently re-
ported bacterial STI. In 2006, the Centers
for Disease Control (CDC) noted more
than one million cases, and estimated that
more than two million people between the
ages of 14 and 49 were infected.
Most people with Chlamydia are unaware
that they have it, or they are treated for the
symptoms, and not the infection itself. It is
considered one of the many “silent” infec-
tions, because 75 percent of women and 50
percent of men exhibit no symptoms at all.
Symptoms differ between men and
women. They generally begin one to three
weeks after infection occurs. They can be
found in the throat as a result of oral sex.
Women generally experience more se-
vere symptoms than men. Abnormal vagi-
nal discharge and a burning sensation dur-
ing urination are the most common.
If left untreated, Chlamydia will spread
to the fallopian tubes. It will produce either
no symptoms, or lower abdominal pain, low-
er back pain, nausea, fever, pain during sex, cases ever getting reported. As with HIV,
and bleeding between menstrual cycles. GONORRHEA Gonorrhea has been increasing in numbers.
Men generally feel painful urination, Caused by a bacterium, Gonorrhea Gonorrhea easily is transmitted by
and have a discharge from the penis. grows and multiplies easily in warm, moist contact with the penis, vagina, mouth, or
For persons who leave Chlamydia un- areas of the reproductive tract, including anus. Ejaculation does not have to occur for
treated, serious reproductive and other long- the urethra of both men and women. It transmission to happen.
term health problems can ensue. Men rarely also can grow in the mouth, throat, eyes, Symptoms of Gonorrhea are similar to
will show signs, but can become sterile if the and anus. It is most prevalent in teenagers, Chlamydia. Men and women may notice
infection is left untreated. Women have a 40 young adults, and African-Americans. It is them two to five days after infection, if at
percent chance of developing pelvic inflam- common for someone to have Gonorrhea all. It may take as long as 30 days for some-
matory disease (PID). They are up to five and Chlamydia at the same time. one to recognize them.
times more likely to be infected with HIV. Like Chlamydia, Gonorrhea is known as Men may feel a burning sensation while
A simple lab test can confirm Chlamyd- a “silent” infection, with more than 700,000 urinating, along with white, yellow, or
ia. Antibiotics can cure it. people infected each year, but only half the green discharge from the penis. Painful or
swollen testicles are common as well.
Women often have more mild symptoms
that are so nonspecific, they may be mistaken
for a bladder or vaginal infection, with pain
or burning sensation during urination.
If left untreated, both men and women
can experience long-term problems, such as
PID in women and infertility in men. If it
spreads to the blood or joints, the infection
can become life-threatening. A simple lab
test and antibiotics can cure Gonorrhea.
Individuals who are HIV-positive are
twice as likely to have HIV in their geni-
tal secretions than people who do not have
Gonorrhea. The median concentration of
HIV in semen can increase as much as 10
times, skyrocketing the chance of infection
in a HIV-negative person.
LavenderMagazine.com

GENITAL HERPES
Caused by the Herpes Simplex Virus
(HSV), Genital Herpes has two forms: Type
1 and Type 2. HSV-2, the most common

33
 > News & Politics
form, is transmitted through sexual activity.
HSV-1 (often known as cold sores), which
can be found on the mouth and lips, can lead
to genital herpes by oral-genital contact.
Very widespread in the United States,
HSV-2 is detected in one of six people ages
14 to 49. Though they have not decreased,
rates have remained stable. It is more com-
mon in women, with one in five having it,
compared to one in nine men.
Though it has no cure, Genital Herpes
can be treated with medication to decrease
the number of outbreaks yearly. Transmis-
sion, mainly during sexual contact, can oc-
cur without any visible outbreaks.
Many people may not be aware of infec-
tion. They may have mild symptoms that may
be mistaken for insect bites or other skin con-
ditions. Symptoms, which typically appear in
the first two weeks after transmission, may in-
clude sores in or around the genital area, plus
flu-like fever and swollen glands.
A person may experience four or five
outbreaks the first year, but they decrease
over the years. In people who have sup-
pressed immune systems, such as persons
with HIV, severe complications can ensue.
As with STIs, condom use and antiviral
medications can reduce the risk involved,
but with Genital Herpes, an infected person
should refrain from sexual activities during
an outbreak to reduce the risk of transmit-
ting the disease to a sexual partner(s).
SYPHILIS
With more 36,000 cases reported by the
CDC in 2006, 64 percent of them resulted
from male-to-male sex, most commonly in
June 18-July 1, 2010
34
men 35 to 39. Infections in women most of-
ten occur in the 20 to 24 age group.
The infection is transmitted through di-
rect contact with a Syphilis sore. The sores
typically are found externally on the geni-
tals, vagina, or anus, or in the rectum, but
also on the lips and mouth from vaginal,
anal, or oral sex.
Syphilis can be one of the many “silent”
STIs. People may not have symptoms for
years, yet are capable of transmission the
entire time. Syphilis, unlike many other
STIs, has multiple stages.
The first—and primary—stage is sig-
naled by a single sore known as a chancre.
Usually firm, round, small, and painless, it
will grow where Syphilis entered the body.
Multiple chancres may develop. Though
condom use can reduce risk, if the chan-
cre is exposed during sex, transmission of
Syphilis can occur.
From the time of infection until the
chancre appears, 21 days usually elapse, but
it can be anywhere from 10 to 90 days.
When left untreated, Syphilis will prog-
ress to the secondary stage, which has mul-
tiple signs and symptoms. A skin rash that
does not itch usually will appear on multiple
areas of the body. Rough, red or reddish-
brown spots will show up on the palms of
the hands or the bottoms of the feet.
Signs may be evident on other parts of the
body. They may not be noticed, because they
may resemble rashes from other diseases, or
may be faint. Fever, swollen lymph glands,
sore throat, patchy hair loss, headache, weight
loss, muscle ache, and fatigue also can occur.
If still left untreated, the latent stage,
hidden and most damaging of all, will en-
sue, lasting for years. It may commence up
to 20 years after the initial infection. About
15 percent of people infected with Syphilis
reach this stage.
Once Syphilis is allowed to progress
this far, damage to the internal organs,
brain, nerves, eyes, heart, blood vessels,
liver, bones, and joints is common. Paraly-
sis, numbness, blindness, and dementia can
emerge. It may lead to death of the infected
person, of if a woman is pregnant, death of
an unborn fetus.
If caught within the first year, an injec-
tion of penicillin easily can cure Syphilis.
Additional does will be needed for those
who have had it longer. But penicillin will
not cure any long-term damage that has
been done to the body.
Though many STIs can be cured by a
quick visit to the doctor, the belief that a
pill can solve everything has left many lulled
into thinking that practicing safe sex at all
times is unnecessary. Why waste time try-
ing to put on a condom when it just is going
to take you out of the mood, and make the
experience less enjoyable?
Condoms are 99.9 percent effective in
preventing the spread of HIV and STIs.
The long-term financial and psycholog-
ical effects of infections like Genital Herpes
and HIV have left many rethinking those
decisions that could have saved them thou-
sands of dollars a month, as well as difficult
conversations with potential sexual part-
ners. Even Syphilis can turn deadly when
left untreated.
Such beliefs, topped with the economics
of prevention and education, have helped
fuel the increase in infections of not only
HIV, but also many other STIs.
Tim Marburger, Director of Fundrais-
ing and Special Events at The Aliveness
Project, can’t stress his concerns enough:
“Government grants have been completely
cut and/or reduced. Some sites don’t even
have condoms to distribute. Every agency
working with HIV/AIDS should have ac-
cess to condoms, and not have to scramble
to find them, or take moneys from other
pots to fill in the lost dollars.”
Be smart: Protect yourself and your sex-
ual partners from HIV and STIs by using
condoms and practicing safe-sex practices
at all times.
With information readily available at
<www.cdc.gov/std>, educate yourself on
the risks of practicing safe sex, or talk to
your local physician if you have more ques-
tions concerning HIV or STIs.
 LavenderMagazine.com

35
 > Arts & Entertainment

Interview
with
Kathy
Griffin

Michele
Bachmann’s
Nemesis
June 18-July 1, 2010

Returns to
Minneapolis
Photo by Mike Ruiz
36
 “ONE OF HER MINIONS
FLIP-CAMMED ME, AND
IF YOU’RE GOING TO
FLIP-CAM ME, AND YOU
AREN’T GOING TO ASK
ME, YOU BETTER COME
TO FUCKING PLAY.”

[ by Russell Remmick ]

Here in Minnesota, we enjoy two things

above all else.
The first is summer, of course. We are a
bunch of hermits who poke our heads out
in early March, and realize it’s time to end
our alcohol-induced winter hibernation.
We then spend the next five months out-
side every chance we can, even if it means
calling in sick to work for the umpteenth
doctor appointment in two months.
Our second great asset is Congress-
woman Michele Bachmann. She adds just
the right amount of crazy to make living
in Minnesota an interesting experience.
Finding someone who actually voted for
her not once but twice is like discovering
a leprechaun with his pot of gold. No one
has found it, but somewhere, it does exist.
Nothing says “Welcome to Minnesota”
better than this politician who has a knack
for saying the most off-the-wall things on a
LavenderMagazine.com

regular basis. That’s why we love her, and

why Kathy Griffin is excited to do a show in
Minneapolis that prominently will feature
her Bachmann run-in.

37
 > Arts & Entertainment

“I AM PROUD TO GET THE

FIRST PAP SMEAR ON TV
IN HISTORY. I FEEL IN MY
LITTLE D LIST WAY, I WAS
ABLE TO ONE-UP KATIE
COURIC WHEN SHE GOT
HER COLONOSCOPY ON
THE TODAY SHOW. I’M IN
A BIKINI AND STRIPPER
SHOES. I DID PIXILATE
IT FOR THE GAYS. I
UNDERSTAND YOU HAVE NO
DESIRE TO SEE A CLOSE-UP
OF MY VAGINA.”

The ever-poplar D List actress and

queen of comedy is returning for a second
round of celebrity-bashing—and, of course,
telling us all about meeting Bachmann in
Washington, DC.
Griffin says, “I got invited to Washing-
ton to talk about Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, and
I had a run-in with Michele Bachmann.
She’s ‘really intelligent’”
[Note: I was instructed to make sure the
foregoing was in quotes, so no one actu-
ally would think Griffin was serious, or said
she’d be “fucked.”]
Griffin continues, “One of her minions
flip-cammed me, and if you’re going to flip-
cam me, and you aren’t going to ask me,
you better come to fucking play.”
After we both enjoyed a good chuckle,
Griffin went on, “So, there I am with crazy-
ass Michele Bachmann and one of her min-
ions. I will tell you that word spread around
the media event, and everyone else was ac-
tually asking if I said that. And I will say
that an unnamed person from another news
media outlet did say she was ‘special.’”
Griffin is saving what she actually said
to Bachmann for her show at the Orpheum
in Minneapolis, because we Minnesotans
would enjoy it a lot more than the people
in California who may not know about our
“special” Congresswoman.
Speaking of crazy and special, we quick-
June 18-July 1, 2010

ly transitioned from Bachmann to meth and

Sarah Palin. Who knew the two actually
went together?
Griffin recounts, “It’s interesting that
we are talking about meth, because on one
episode of the D List, I go to Wasilla,

Photo by Mike Ruiz

38
 > Arts & Entertainment
"ONE OF MY GAYS SENT ME A TEXT: ‘WHAT THE
FUCK IS UP WITH YOU ON THE COVER [OF SEASON
TWO]? IT’S YOU STANDING IN THE MIDDLE OF A
FREEWAY.’ BRAVO WOULD LOVE NOTHING MORE
THAN TO HAVE ME STAND IN A FREEWAY, AND KILL
ME. VERY A LIST.”
Alaska, and it’s the meth capital. Not sure
if it’s just Alaska or the United States, but
what if Sarah Plain is a meth queen?”
Interesting indeed. It would explain so
much.
Griffin adds, “My fantasy would be
Sarah Palin on Dog the Bounty Hunter, and
Dog’s wife thinks Sarah wanted Dog, and
she’d kick her ass.”
Though that fantasy will have to be
put on the back burner, the D List is load-
ed with Palin’s favorite baby daddy, Levi
Johnston.
According to Griffin, “[Johnston’s
Playgirl spread] came up quick. We talked
about his Johnson quite a bit, but the D
List is action-packed.
“I am proud to get the first pap smear on
TV in history. I feel in my little D List way,
I was able to one-up Katie Couric when she
got her colonoscopy on The Today Show. I’m
in a bikini and stripper shoes. I did pixilate
it for the gays. I understand you have no de-
sire to see a close-up of my vagina.
“As for the rest of Season 6 of My Life on
the D List, you get to see behind-the-scenes
on [Law & Order: Special Victims Unit]. I
fucking love SVU,” Griffin screams. “Epi-
sode One of the D List, you get to really
see what happens. And the best part is, you
get your Chris Meloni, Mariska, and you
see me going for an acting lesson at Min-
nelli’s fucking apartment. I’m in love. I’m a
normal gay man. I’m in love with her. Oh,
and I get kicked out of everything.”
When asked about her other great
guest-starring—as a witch in Shrek For-
ever After—Griffin shares, “OMG, I did
the photo shoot in People Magazine. It’s
so A List. I have three lines in Shrek. Not
sure what the fuck I was doing at the photo
shoot. And someone is standing next to me,
and I’m going to make you Google it.”
Don’t fret: If you watch Griffin talking
June 18-July 1, 2010
about things on television, she promises
you wouldn’t hear them at the show.
Griffin relates, “Once you see it on TV,
the live show will be all-new. And my next
special is June 28, and it’s called Kathy Grif-
fin Does the Bible Belt. It was taped in Knox-
40
ville [Tennessee]. I actually thought about
the special. The gays made the drive from
all over, and when you play a market like
Knoxville, I was actually getting Tweets say-
ing, ‘I’m going to come see the show, and I
hope I don’t get fired for that.’ There are
some parts of the country where you’re still
going to get your ass kicked for being gay,
but the audience was very enthusiastic.”
As for the North Dakota gays, Griffin
states, “I have not played Fargo. Follow my
Twaughts on twitter. If I can do a double in
Biloxi, I will be coming to your town. I’m
on tour all year-round. Just keep checking
kathygriffin.com.”
Though the show isn’t until the end of
June, and the special doesn’t air until then
as well, don’t worry about getting your
Kathy Griffin fix. She mentioned that her
Official Book Club Selection: A Memoir Ac-
cording to Kathy Griffin already has come
out. It’s so titled because she’s running a
campaign to get on The Oprah Winfrey
Show, and have the tome become an offi-
cial Oprah book club selection.
Griffin remarks, “Oprah isn’t letting
me on the show. She seems to be taking
her time asking me to be on the show. For
some reason, I seem to not get as close as I
want to. Gail probably has a taser.”
Be sure not to miss Griffin’s newest
season, as Bravo has been slow on releas-
ing past ones on DVD.
As Griffin puts it, “They put out Sea-
son One, and then they put out Season
Two. I have no backend. They don’t ask
me to do any press. I learn myself by read-
ing my Twitter. One of my gays sent me a
text: ‘What the fuck is up with you on the
cover [of Season Two]? It’s you standing in
the middle of a freeway.’ Bravo would love
nothing more than to have me stand in a
freeway, and kill me. Very A List.”
Well, maybe at least C List.
Kathy Griffin
Orpheum Theatre
805 Hennepin Ave.
June 26
(800) 982-2787
<www.ticketmaster.com>
 LavenderMagazine.com

41
 Arts & Entertainment > On the Townsend [ by John Townsend ]

QUARTERMAINE’S TERMS
Through June 20
Theatre in the Round
245 Cedar Ave., Mpls.
(612) 333-3010
<www.theatreintheround.org>

Matt Sciple directs Simon Gray’s London

hit about faculty dynamics and loneliness.
Sciple says, “Eddie [Richard Brandt] and
his lifetime companion, Thomas, run the
school together. We never meet Thomas,
but we hear about their relationship, which
is presented matter-of-factly and unapolo-
getically. We’ve decided that Quartermaine
[Dann Peterson], while pretty asexual in
the play, is probably gay, too.”
Indeed, Peterson poignantly understates
Quartermaine’s gay alienation. Maggie
Bearmon Pistner crackles as a tormented
hetero spinster.

SLEEPERS
Through June 20
Red Eye Theater
15 W. 14th St., Mpls.
(612) 870-0309
<www.redeyetheater.org>

Gay poet Walt Whitman’s “The Sleep-

ers” inspired the BodyTalk dance duo of
Rebecca Abas and Gerry Girouard.
As Girouard notes, the duo blends tan-
go and modern dance “with leg entwinings
and rhythmic understandings. We take this
sophisticated lead/follow or propose/reply
beyond the usual sensual interactions, and
look at other emotive and relational inter-
actions in life.”
Girouard looms as perhaps the most
athletic and sensual of established Twin
Cities choreographers.
HAIR
Through June 24
Lowry Lab
350 St. Peter St., St. Paul
(612) 481-2234
<www.blankslatetheatre.com>
Director Adam Arnold calls the tribal
rock musical “a period piece. We’re seeking
to express the views, values, and practices
of the hippies from the ’60s, including cel-
ebrating the gift of sexuality in all its forms,
June 18-July 1, 2010
Le Squat. Photo by Jennifer Ilse
FAUX MADAME MAJESTA’S MIRACLE MEDICINE
June 25 SHOW
Lagoon Cinema Thorugh June 26
1320 Lagoon Ave., Minneapolis Lab Theater
(612) 825-6006 700 N. 1st St., Mpls.
<www.landmarktheatre.com> (612) 333-7977
<www.labtheater.org>
Gay rights and fateful love between two
men, played by Andrew Sass and Jemar Rovie-
Frenchwood, fuel this local indie film.
Director Christopher Beer explains, “I
view sexuality, and the context of that word,
as something of a cultural construction. It’s
a means of definition, of labeling—a way
of understanding and identifying. There
is what we do sexually as a creature of the
planet, and there is the way we present our-
selves in regards to social norms. FAUX not
only discusses this point directly in the dia-
logue, but within the scope of the frame as
well. The characters and situations, though
prominently featuring GLBT and ‘other’

as well as the fluidity of gender. Some men
in our Tribe occasionally dress as women;
some women in our Tribe occasionally
dress as men; and sometimes, you just will
not be able to tell the difference.”
themes and inflections, are not crafted
around orientations. They exist simply as
human beings in human scenarios without
regard to label, as I feel they should be in
real life.”
Alternate Visions Festival Photo by NS1
Gay composer/lyricist duo Aaron Ga-
briel and Tod Petersen offer an “Ameri-

42
 LavenderMagazine.com

43
 cana” folk vaudeville for Interact, the re-
gion’s preeminent theater for persons with
disabilities.
Gabriel shares, “It’s great when you
can fire off with someone like Tod, who
understands the musical theater canon—
like Gypsy and The Music Man.”
Petersen adds, “The show’s big theme
is that we may be dying, but not today. It’s
about a traveling community of misfits,
and that joy of community, creativity, and
adventure.”

ALTERNATE VISIONS FESTIVAL

June 24-27
Pangea Studio
711 W. Lake St., Ste. 101, Mpls.
(612) 203-1088
<www.pangeaworldtheater.org>

Feminism soars! In Solo Flight, Meena

Natarajan directs actress/writer Katie
Herron’s take on women aviators of the
’30s and their addiction to danger.
Of actress/writer Katie Ka Vang’s
Hmong Bollywood, director Natarajan ob-
serves that it reveals “why Hmong women
living in the United States adapt Bolly-
wood culture into their own, and we ex-
plore masculinity in both cultures.”

PA’S HAT: A LIBERIAN LEGACY

Through June 27
Pillsbury House
3501 Chicago Ave. S., Mpls.
(612) 825-0459
<www.pillsburyhousetheatre.org>

Namir Smallwood devastates as

14-year-old soldier Femur, who wears
the wig of a woman he killed in service
of brutal warlord Charles Taylor. Liberia
was founded and colonized two centuries
ago by freed American slaves, but Cori
Thomas’s compelling play shows how ten-
sions stemming from back then still rico-
chet. Marion McClinton sharply directs a
forceful cast.

LE SQUAT
Through June 27
Our Garage
3540 34th Ave. S., Mpls.
(612) 724-7372
<www.offleasharea.org>

The star/creator of last year’s phenom-

enal Ivan the Drunk, Paul Herwig, recalls
squatting in the ’80s with a homeless art-
ists colony in an abandoned Paris build-
ing protected by winos, no less. We meet
June 18-July 1, 2010

Dracula’s granddaughter and an Aussie

called “Horse.”
According to Herwig, it’s “about free-
dom, throwing yourself to the wind, and
not worrying about the consequences.”

44
 LavenderMagazine.com

45
 Arts & Entertainment > The Page Boy
Dream Gardens of
England: 100
Inspirational Gardens
BARBARA BAKER; PHOTOGRAPHY,
JERRY HARPUR & MARCUS HARPUR
MERRELL
$39.95
Here, 100 beautiful gardens
presented in 500 gorgeous
photographs offer hours of
pleasure and yearning. But even
if you never will be the tender
of gardens of these dimensions,
each one offers insights on
how to explore colors, textures,
shapes, and settings in your own
patch of ground. Lest you think
that inherited acres are required,
consider Glebe Place in Chelsea,
where a rooftop has been filled
with 3,000 pots featuring trees,
shrubs, annuals, and perennials,
all hand-watered—on a carpet of
artificial grass. An inner-city oasis
on Kensington Road, Bristol, fits
two decked levels with seating,
along with Italianate garden,
eclectic statuary, stumpery (pic-
ture a rock garden with pieces
of dead trees instead of stones),
grotto, and pond—all in 18x20
feet. As the author notes, “No
space is too small for a fabulous
June 18-July 1, 2010
garden.” A number of gardens
are shown in the winter’s frost—a
lesson to Minnesotans to plan
ahead for stark shapes and spare
beauty.
46
Parisians: An Adventure
History of Paris
GRAHAM ROBB
W.W. NORTON PRESS
$28.95
Robb, author of Strangers:
Homosexual Love in the Nine-
teenth Century (2004), takes the
reader on an excursion through
Paris history via odd—but true—
anecdotes: the real-life Mimi of
La Bohème; a young Napoleon
losing his virginity; and Marie
Antoinette’s wrong turn that
cost the queen her head. As in
Strangers, Robb’s meticulous
attention to detail and eye for
the arcane make for fascinating
reading. The chapter “Marville,”
for example, opens with the
photograph of a Paris square one
summer morning in 1865. It was
one of thousands taken by Mar-
ville and his assistant of areas of
the sprawling city. The narrative
segues to the offices of Georges-
Eugene Haussman—the very
Baron Haussman who demol-
ished, straightened, and changed
the face of Paris under Napoleon
III, using, in part, Marville’s im-
ages. And that square? It endures,
the Place Saint-André-des-Arts,
shown in a recent photo with
a parked Citroën visible at the
curb.
She Looks Just Like You:
A Memoir of (Nonbiologi-
cal Minnesota Lesbian)
Motherhood
AMIE KLEMPNAUER MILLER
BEACON PRESS
$24.95
A fascinating sociological, an-
thropological, ethnological odys-
sey about one woman’s becoming
a (nonbiological lesbian) mom—
as well as an homage to lesbian
processing. The latter is not
stereotyping on Miller’s part, but
rather the author’s claim: “Les-
bians, a least the ones we know,
have a strong predisposition to
be process junkies….There is
a weird, almost manufactured
intimacy in the habit of telling
each other our secrets before
we tell each other our inter-
ests.” Ten years of talking, then
nine months of conception and
production, went into creating
little Hannah, not counting the
love, fear, insecurities, hopes, and
dreams that link these parents to
all other parents-to-be of what-
ever gender. Miller herself tried
to conceive, but her partner was
the one to carry Hannah. Funny,
wry, touching, and celebratory
as this memoir is, Miller makes
us aware we still live in a world
where a same-sex partner must
adopt her own daughter—we
have a ways to go.
[ by E.B. Boatner ]
The University Avenue
Project, Volume I
WING YOUNG HUIE
MINNESOTA HISTORICAL PRESS
$12.95
Photographer Wing Young
Huie continues his work in
“The Language of Urbanism,”
started some years back when he
photographed the neighborhood
of Duluth where he grew up. In
the Twin Cities, he produced
Frogtown: Portrait of a Neighbor-
hood in 1995. He then spent four
years photographing Lake Street,
which in 2000 turned into a
six-mile gallery featuring nearly
700 photographs displayed in
store windows, at bus stops, and
on the sides of buildings. The
images in Lake Street USA ranged
from 8x10 inches to 8x12 feet.
Huie’s latest University Avenue
project was conceived in 2006
when Coen+Partners asked the
photographer to help redesign
Dickerman Park along Univer-
sity Avenue between Fairview
Avenue and Aldine Street in St.
Paul. It morphed into the larger
project featured here. In these
photos, Huie captures not only
the street and its residents, but
also the words of the people
themselves.
 LavenderMagazine.com

47
 Bar Advertiser Guide | Bartender Spotlight |
[ by George Holdgrafer ]

ve.
3rd A
E
N
e.
l Av
W n tra Hennepin Ave. Larpenteur Ave. Larpenteur Ave.
as Ce

Dale St.
hin
gto

Snelling Ave.
06 1s
03 n A t St
Ave
. ve . N Minnehaha Ave.
ve. 02 pin . . Univ
1st A 07 ne ersit
Hen 05
15 ve. 08 y Av
e.
th
S t. ll et A
01 o University Ave. t.
Nic 09 hS
7t
.
Ave
in
nep

04 Ro
26th Ave. S.
Selby Ave.
Hen

be
Lake St. rt
St.
Grand Ave.

01 19 BAR 08 TICKLES
19 W. 15th St., Mpls. 420 S. 4th St., Mpls.
(612) 871-5553 (612) 354-3846
Shoot pool or play darts at your neighborhood bar------ <www.ticklesbar.com>
the Twin Cities’s oldest GLBT establishment. Live Piano Music. Full-Service Menu, Happy Hour,
Sports on 10 Flat-Panel TVs, Pool, Darts.

▼
02
NATE
BARFLY 09
711 Hennepin Ave., Mpls. TOWN HOUSE
(612) 333-6100 1415 University Ave. W., St. Paul
<www.barflyminneapolis.com> (651) 646-7087
Come out for Boobytrap Pride------the sexiest Pride event <www.townshousebar.com>
of the year! Fun neighborhood bar with a great mix of men and
women. Karaoke. Drag shows. WHO
03 Nate
BRASS RAIL LOUNGE
422 Hennepin. Ave., Mpls.
(612) 332-RAIL (7245)
<www.thebrassraillounge.com>
WHAT
Recipe: Grape Ape
Completely remodeled elegant lounge featuring variety
of entertainment: live piano, karaoke, male dancers. •
Superior 1 part Absolut Citron
1 part Sour Grape Pucker
04
CAMP Somerset• Wisconsin Soda Water
490 N. Robert St., St. Paul Serve with 2 big straws.
(651) 292-1844 Slam it!
<www.camp-bar.net>
An upscale but casual spot with great video, dancing,
cabaret, and the friendliest staff in town!

05
WHEN
COALE'S BAR & GRILL Wednesday • 4:30-8 PM
719 N. Dale St. WI BOOTLEGGERS BAR & GRILL Thursday • 8 PM-2 AM
St. Paul, MN (651) 487-5829 235 Main St.
Areanna Coale, proprietor. Opening soon. Somerset, WI (715) 247-2668
An eclectic enigma filled with joy and happiness. <www.bootleggerssomerset.com> WHERE
Everyone welcome! Just 25 minutes east of Twin Cities. Fierce: A Show For Gay 90’s
Everyone every Saturday.
408 Hennepin Ave., Mpls.
06 GAY 90’S (612) 333-7755
408 Hennepin Ave., Mpls.
(612) 333-7755
WI
THE FLAME <www.gay90s.com>
<www.gay90s.com> 1612 Tower Ave., Superior
(715) 395-0101
Upper Midwest’s Largest Gay Entertainment
Complex. Serving reasonably priced menu in main
<www.SuperiorFlame.com> WHY
bar Wednesday-Sunday.
“We have awesome drinks. Great
music—I’m also DJ Nater D, spinning
07
GLADIUS WI house music Wednesday, Friday,
1111 Hennepin Ave., Mpls.
THE MAIN CLUB Saturday, and Sunday. Great food—I’m
1217 Tower Ave., Superior
(612) 332-9963 (715) 392-1756 a server on Friday, too. ”
<www.gladiusbar.com> <www.mainclubsuperior.com>
The New York Chic of Minneapolis. Gladius God-
desses Tuesday. Killer B's Karaoke Wednesday.
June 18-July 1, 2010

48
 LavenderMagazine.com

49
 Bar Scene > Bar Showcase [ Photos by George Holdgrafer ]

TOWN HOUSE
June 9
June 18-July 1, 2010

50
 LavenderMagazine.com

51
 Bar Scene > Bar Lens [ Photos by George Holdgrafer ]

TWIN CITIES GAY POOL LEAGUE (TCGPL) YEAR-END TOURNAMENT

May 2
Tickles

1
First Place: Individual, Joel (left), and emcee
Mother Pearl
2
Craig Schmidt (right) presented a $1,000
check from TCGPL to Every Penny Counts,
represented by (from left) Robert Bitzen and
Ken Oltman (right)

1
3
First Place Team: Tickles— 3
(Clockwise from upper left)
John, Brant, Troy, Joel, Russ, Alex
4
Second Place Team: 19 Bar No. 2
Gabriel (left), Mark (not pictured: Greg, Roger)
5
Third Place Team: 19 Bar No. 1
(From left) Mary, Naomi, Jerry (not pictured:
Mark)

2 4 5
June 18-July 1, 2010

52
 LavenderMagazine.com

53
 Bar Scene > Bar Calendar
For club addresses, phone numbers, and Web
sites, see “Bar Advertiser Guide” on page 48.
For events not at bars, see <LavenderMagazine.
FRIDAY, JUNE 18 Singles Pool Tournament
com/calendar>. Gary Collins 4 PM. 19 Bar.
5 PM. Tickles. Aaron Keith Stewart
Mia Dorr 7 PM. Tickles.
9 PM. Tickles.
Dragged Out WEDNESDAY, JUNE 23
9 PM. Town House. Dinner & A Show
Somerset Pride: Amateur Drag Show 6 PM. Gay 90’s.
10 PM. Bootleggers. Somerset, WI. Mark Bloom
6 PM. Tickles.
SATURDAY, JUNE 19
Pride Kickoff Party THURSDAY, JUNE 24
Benefits Camp’s Kittens Leather Pride Cigar Smoker
5 PM. Camp. 7:30 PM. 19 Bar.
Goddess of Gladius Pageant Girl Flight Pride Weekend Kickoff
9 PM. Gladius. Party
Jeff Olson 9 PM. Jetset. 115 N. 1st St., Mpls.
9 PM. Tickles. Pride Outdoor Block Party
Somerset Pride: Fierce Drag Show Gladius
10 PM. Bootleggers. Somerset, WI. Miss City of the Lakes Pageant
La Femme Show Lounge. Gay 90’s.
SUNDAY, JUNE 20 Transtastic
Somerset Pride: Cookout Official Pride Event
1 PM. Bootleggers. Somerset, WI. Town House.
June 18-July 1, 2010

54
FRIDAY, JUNE 25 SUNDAY, JUNE 27 Jimmy Martin
Pride Outdoor Block Party Pride Parade Patio Party 7 PM. Tickles.
10 AM. Gladius. 9 AM. Brass Rail. Vacation Package Drawing
Gary Collins Pride Breakfast Buffet 8 PM. Tickles.
5 PM. Tickles. 9 AM. Gay 90’s.
The Big Gay Pride Party: Wonderland Pride Outdoor Block Party WEDNESDAY, JUNE 30
9 PM. Epic. 110 N. 5th St., Mpls. 10 AM. Gladius. Jason Richards
Grinder Party Beer Bust 6 PM. Tickles.
9 PM. Gladius. 7 PM. Brass Rail.
Jason Richards
9 PM. Tickles.
Pride Foam Party
Dance Annex. Gay 90’s.

SATURDAY, JUNE 26
Pride Outdoor Block Party
10 AM. Gladius.
Pig Roast
1 PM. Tickles.
Boobytrap Pride
8 PM. The Loft @ Barfly.
Jeff Olson
9 PM. Tickles.
Elegance
9 PM. Town House.
Guest Host Monica West
La Femme Show Lounge. Gay 90’s.

LavenderMagazine.com

55
 June 18-July 1, 2010

56
Cuisine > Off the Eaten Path
 APERITIF
RESTAURANT & BAR
TURNS OUT FROM-SCRATCH DISHES WITH MASTERY AND FLAIR

[ by Heidi Fellner ]

’m coming to terms with being a snob. For
a while, I was in denial—a food critic might
I be a snob? really?—but I eventually, albeit
grudgingly, accepted my diagnosis, and moved
on to treatment. My readers know I’ve dined at
a few hotel restaurants of late, and found that
a great establishment is not necessarily defined
by its adjoining property. I also have ventured
Aperitif. Photos by Hubert Bonnet
to different price points, and—gasp!—even the
dreaded franchise. Oh, the horrors that destina-
tion may produce in the very delicate epicurean
mind! But each time I have stepped outside my
foodie comfort zone, I have returned with more
appreciation for our area chefs. I considered
myself officially recovered. Then, this column
took me to Woodbury, and I panicked.

LavenderMagazine.com

57
 Cuisine > Off the Eaten Path
Dining Room.
Now, I present the last lesson in my road
to snob recovery: faith that the entire world
is filled with culinary treasures, and if you’re
open to receiving them, life has a way of
bringing them to you. Restoring that faith is
Aperitif, in the heart of Woodbury. Do not
let its location trouble you. Executive Chef
Chad Grant (formerly of Porterhouse), who
moved to the suburb to facilitate a stronger
connection between his kitchen and the
community it serves, turns out from-scratch
dishes with mastery and flair.
Case in point: Shrimp Bisque ($6).
Grant’s tomato cream and brandy base
serves up a bewitching bit of heat, which
is tamed with a generous dollop of fennel
June 18-July 1, 2010
foam. Served alongside a fetching little
amuse of fried shrimp on toast, it was a dish
I simply couldn’t get enough of.
Tuna Carpaccio ($10), with delicately
fried and salted caper flowers, sweet tomato
remoulade, and fennel chips, is another mas-
58
terpiece that is easy to share as an appetizer.
I did not skimp on the bread, either. Aper-
itif’s focaccia is made in-house in its wood-
burning oven. In a word, it is fabulous.
It would be difficult to pick a favorite
appetizer, but Spicy Sautéed Calamari ($12)
was sensational. Grant sautés his calamari
to the point of perfection, and leaves its
delicate flesh unmarred by the deep fryer. If
you have not yet had your calamari trussed
up in pine nuts, currants, and couscous
with a kicked-up white wine sauce, I would
recommend making the trip for this dish
alone. Despite being labeled as an appetiz-
er, it easily could serve as an entrée for one
very happy, recovering food snob.
To balance out the richness as well as
the light heat, we sipped the dry, acidic Elk
Cove Pinot Gris ($10/$33) with the forego-
ing items.
Aperitif is choosy with its wine list. The
2008 Elk Cove Pinot Gris, for example,
Spicy Sautéed Calamari (above); Tuna Carpaccio (below).
placed in the top five in the 21st Annual Res-
taurant poll. Another excellent choice would
be Pushback Sauvignon Blanc ($9/$33).
Aperitif is the only restaurant in Minnesota
to stock this full, slightly tart beauty.
These wines also carried us through to
String Beans and Sweet Onions ($9), which
takes full advantage of a winning pair: feta
cheese and fig vinaigrette. The onions are
tempered significantly by their soak in the
vinaigrette, yet lend the dish its needed bite.
I hardly could wait to taste the promised
Rack of Lamb Special ($28), served atop
broccoli rabe and orzo, and scented with
cumin. Many restaurants use their “specials”
to move inventory before it spoils. This is
obviously not the philosophy at Aperitif.
Nevertheless, its regular entrée menu is var-
ied enough to offer something for every pal-
ate, yet maintain a strong point of view.
Cioppino ($29) once again reveals Grant’s
fondness for rich, fragrant broths (this
 LavenderMagazine.com

59
 Cuisine > Off the Eaten Path

Spiced Lamp Chops.

one spiked with saffron), but it does not get

in the way of the stew’s real divas: Mexican
white shrimp, lobster, clams, mussels, baby
scallops, and fish, all bursting with fresh-
ness, and eager to take center stage.
The Meditrina Pinot Noir/Syrah/Zin-
fandel blend ($10) dances with both dish-
es, with lush berries and spice.
Just when I thought I surely had seen
what Aperitif had to offer, our server ar-
rived with a grin, plopping down Molten
Chocolate Cake ($6) and Frozen Lemon
Soufflé ($6). What a joy it is to have a lava
cake actually deliver on its dark chocolat-
ey promise! What’s more, the dessert is a
little play on the s’more, with housemade
chocolate gelato, graham cracker crumbs,
and marshmallow sauce. Lemon Soufflé,
garnished with delicate baby fennel, is
creamy, tart, and altogether lovely.
Sip sparkling Nivole Moscato D’Asti
($7/28) with either, take in its nose of
apricot, and relax. You’re in Woodbury,
June 18-July 1, 2010

and life just has handed you a gem.

Aperitif Restaurant & Bar

772 Bielenberg Dr., Woodbury
(651) 548-3000
<www.aperitifrestaurant.com>

60
 LavenderMagazine.com

61
 June 18-July 1, 2010

62
Lavender Lens >
[Photos by Sophia Hantzes ]

GROUNDBREAKING
CEREMONY
MAY 26
CLARE HOUSING
MINNEAPOLIS

(From left) Hennepin County

Commissioner Peter McLaughlin;
Minneapolis Mayor R.T. Rybak;
Clare Housing Board Chair Nancy
Lee; Clare House Executive Director
Lee Lewis; Minneapolis City Council
Member Gary Schiff

LavenderMagazine.com

(From left) Clare Housing Executive

Director Lee Lewis; Minneapolis
Mayor R.T. Rybak

63
 Lavender Lens >
[Photos by Sophia Hantzes ]

YOUTH PRIDE
JUNE 3
LORING PARK
MINNEAPOLIS
June 18-July 1, 2010

64
 LavenderMagazine.com

65
 Lavender Lens >
[Photos by Sophia Hantzes ]

LGBTA PRIDE PROM

JUNE 5
ALOFT
MINNEAPOLIS
June 18-July 1, 2010

66
 LavenderMagazine.com

67
 Backtalk >

THE BIG
GAY PRIDE
PARTY
Features DJ
Roland Belmares
Twin Cities Pride Weekend starts off
big, as The Big Gay Pride Party returns
for its third and biggest installment. In
what quickly has become a favorite annual
tradition, Epic Event Center in Down-
town Minneapolis will welcome thou-
sands of party-goers on opening night of
Pride Weekend.
Event Co-organizer Scott Feldman
says, “We started doing this because it
was clear that there’s a segment of the lo-
cal GLBT population that wants a big,
crazy, over-the-top club experience once
in a while. We do it because we have fun
doing it, and our crowd tells us that they
love it. It’s really the only party of its kind
all weekend—or all year, for that matter.”
Co-organizer Dave Em explains that
this year’s Wonderland theme is very open
to individual interpretation. Attendees
can come up with their own idea of what
it means, and dress the part.
Em remarks, “There’s definitely a
crowd that likes a theme, and wants to plan
crazy getups to wear to the party. There’s
another crowd that prefers to show up in
comfortable jeans and a T-shirt to dance
the night away, and both of those crowds
will love this party. It’s a spectacle.”
LA-based DJ and producer Roland
Belmares will set the musical mood for
the night. A Twin Cities favorite, he has
headlined major events in New York, Bra-
zil, Hong Kong, Amsterdam, and Miami.
Em and Feldman promise other per-
formers as well, but they’re not telling any
secrets.
As Feldman puts it, “That’s part of the
Wonderland experience. You’ll find a sur-
prise waiting around every corner.”
June 18-July 1, 2010

The Big Gay Pride Party

Fri., June 25, 9 PM-2 AM
Epic Event Center
110 N. 5th St., Mpls.
(612) 332-3742
<www.epicmpls.com>

68
 LavenderMagazine.com

69
 The Network
Accounting &
Bookkeeping Services____ Financial Services______ Health & Fitness___ ___

Barbers__________
______

Home Services_______

Funeral Services___ ___

Health & Wellness_____

Computer Sales &
Services______________
June 18-July 1, 2010

70
Backtalk > Lavender Lens [ Photos by Mark Mahon ]

NORTH STAR CLASSIC AND NAGAAA CUP

MAY 28-30

NAGAAA CUP

A Division
1st Place: Long Beach
Roughriders
2nd Place: Chicago
Midwest Menace
3rd Place: Houston Force

B Division
1st Place: Tie—Nashville/
Knoxville Cyclones & Dallas
TKO
3rd Place: Kansas City
Wicked

NORTH STAR CLASSIC

C1 Division
1st Place: Tie—Nashville
Force & Chicago Sidetrack
Blues
3rd Place: Minneapolis
Heat

C2 Division
1st Place: Kansas City
Barbies
2nd Place: Minneapolis
Infinity
3rd Place: Chicago
Jackhammer Pamas

D Division
1st Place: Minneapolis
Mavriks
2nd Place: Minneapolis
Unicorns
3rd Place: Chicago Lucky
Charmers

LavenderMagazine.com

71
 The Network
Calendar |
Home Services_______ Home Services_______ [ LavenderMagazine.com ]

FRIDAY, JUNE 18
Midsommar Eve Music. Celebrate the arrival of
summer in Minnesota with music, dancing, food, and
festivity at the American Swedish Institute’s annual
Midsommar Celebration. It features music, folk danc-
ing, colorful Swedish folk costumes, arts and crafts,
and many other family-friendly activities. 6-9 PM, June
18. 10 AM-4 PM, June 19. American Swedish Institute,
2600 Park Ave., Mpls. (612) 871-4907. <www.american
swedishinst.org>.
The Mystery of Irma Vep. Help Jungle Theater
celebrate its 20th season with this outrageous, side-
splitting comedy by Charles Ludlam. This hilarious
send-up of Victorian melodrama and gothic romance
is the tale of a sympathetic werewolf, a vampire, and
an Egyptian princess. Laugh as murder and mayhem
break out. Through Aug. 1. Jungle Theatre, 2951 Lyn-
dale Ave. S., Mpls. (612) 822-7063. <www.junglethe
ater.com>.
Le Squat. Finishing its 10th anniversary season, Off-
Leash Area presents a story based on Coartistic Direc-
tor Paul Herwig’s experience living in an abandoned
building on the southern periphery of Paris in 1983,
and sharing the space with an international “tribe” of
artists, winos, and madmen. 8 PM. Through June 27.
(612) 724-7372. <www.offleasharea.org>.

MONDAY, JUNE 21
Reel Pride. Taking the love of movies to an all-new
level is an evening of free musical selections that re-
volve around great film scores. How better to spend
an evening than at Lake Harriet Bandshell? 7:30-9:30
PM. 1300 E. 42nd St., Mpls.

THURSDAY, JUNE 24
Twin Cities Improv Festival. Making people laugh
for the fourth year in a row, the producers of the Twin
Cities Improv Festival offer four days of laughs by the
likes of What If?, Drum Machine, Five Man Job, Brave
New Workshop, and much more. June 24-27. Brave
New Workshop Comedy Theatre, 2605 Hennepin
Ave. S., Mpls. (612) 322-6620. <www.twincitiesimprov
festival.com>.

FRIDAY, JUNE 25
FAUX. Centered on the Minneapolis GLBT commu-
nity, FAUX is a story of love lost, love regained, and
love destroyed. In this film, four intertwining storylines
shot in four different film styles—Melodrama, French
New Wave, Mumblecore, and Documentary—merge
to make one remarkable movie. 7 PM. Lagoon Cin-
ema, 1320 Lagoon Ave., Mpls. (612) 823-3005. <www.
landmarktheatres.com>.
June 18-July 1, 2010

Juana Molina. Photo by Alejandro Ros

72
 The Network

ExtrABBAganza! Join Twin Cities Gay Men’s Chorus

Home Services_______ Medical Services_____
for an ABBA-filled night of all the hits from Mamma
Mia! and beyond. What better way than to spend
some of Pride Weekend with ABBA. 8 PM. June 25-26.
Ted Mann Concert Hall, Univ. of Minn., 2128 4th St. S.,
Mpls. (612) 624-2345. <www.northrop.umn.edu>.

SATURDAY, JUNE 26
Juana Molina. Coming directly from Buenos Ai-
res, singer/songwriter Juana Molina will grace the
McGuire Theatre. She blends tropical folk, bubbling
electronica, and graceful rhythms to create the fresh-
est sounds out of Argentina. She is not to be missed.
8 PM. Walker Art Center, 1750 Hennepin Ave., Mpls.
(612) 375-7600. <www.walkerart.org/tickets>. Insurance______ ______
Tickets
TICKETSOn Sale
ON SALE

Wicked. Something wicked this way comes…again.

The musical sensation known as Wicked is making its
way back to Minneapolis, with more than a monthlong
stay this time. It’s the story of the Wicked Witch of the
West. Find out the truth behind the fable. Tickets on
sale for season ticket holders, donors, and groups of
20 or more. Aug. 11-Sept. 19. Orpheum Theatre, 910
Hennepin Ave., Mpls. (800) 982-2787. <www.ticket Pet Products&
master.com>.
Services__________
ONGOING
Ongoing

Mame! It’s for anyone with a wild, adventurous spirit

inside who lives for the moment, and believes that “life
is a banquet.” Set at the height of the Roaring 20s,
Mame! is the story of Patrick, who is sent to live with
his larger-than-life Auntie Mame, where he’s exposed
to her wealthy friends and their freewheeling lifestyle.
With his life turned upside down, he learns to live life to
its fullest, while creating a new family. Through June 27.
Minneapolis Musical Theatre, 8520 W. 29th St., Mpls.
(612) 605-3298. <www.aboutmmt.org>.
Planning a Remodel. Need help with that home proj-
ect you planned? Castle Building & Remodeling holds
bimonthly classes to help you figure out everything
you need to know to get started. Classes are limited
to only 12 people, so RSVP well in advance to the
one you wish to attend. 5:30-7 PM. For complete list
of classes, locations, and topics, visit <www.castlebri.
com/classschedule.html>.
Quartermaine’s Terms. Watch a delightful portrait of
a mediocre but lovable schoolteacher who begins to
see his mind starting to wane, and finds himself in-
creasingly bewildered by life outside the classroom.
Called “a play that is at once full of doom and gloom
and bristling with wry comedy…we really don’t know
where the laughter ends and the tears begin,” by The
New York Times, it’s sure to be a hit. Through June 20.
Theatre in the Round Players, 245 Cedar Ave., Mpls.
(612) 333-3010. <www.theatreintheround.org>.
Toyota! The Runaway Musical Hit! Toyota’s prob-
Psychotherapy________
lems have become Brave New Workshop (BNW)’s
270th (!) show. Not to be outdone by movie theaters,
it’s in 3D as well. Who knew BNW had the technology
to do that? Oh, and the production also is a hybrid
of a musical and comedy. It just keeps getting better.
Through Aug. 14. Brave New Workshop, 2605 Hen-
nepin Ave. S., Mpls. (612) 332-6620. <www.bravenew
workshop.com>.
We’ll Survive if We Don’t Protect Ourselves. Pe-
nelope Freeh’s 2007 Minnesota Fringe Festival hit is
getting a new life at Southern Theater. Originally cre-
ated for the atrium of the Grain Belt Bottling House
in Northeast Minneapolis, the piece now has been
adapted for the Southern. According to Freeh, she’s
“rediscovering the work’s next evolution.” Through
LavenderMagazine.com

June 19. Southern Theater, 1420 Washington Ave. S.,

Mpls. (612) 340-1725. <www.southerntheater.org>.

For more events, visit <www.lavendermaga

zine.com/summerofpride>.

73
 The Network Classifieds
House Cleaning
Psychotherapy________ Real Estate__________
The Maids Home Services gives you the healthiest, most
thorough housecleaning, guaranteed! Supervised teams,
bonded, insured, environmentally safe cleaning products are
why Nobody Outcleans The Maids. Free estimates (952) 929-
6243. www.maids.com.

Photographers
Rogue Photography has a unique vision and is passionate
about her photography. Call Ann for your family portraits,
weddings, senior pics, pets, and real estate listings. (612)
308-1488, www.roguephotography.com.

Political
A GLBT URGENT CALL TO ACTION: AUG.10-VOTE TO
eliminate aggressively Anti-GLBT & Anti-Same-Sex Marriage
GOP Congressional Candidate Teresa Collett from winning
her GOP Primary Election for 4th Congressional District
by voting for Jack Shepard. It’s the best way to respond
to Teresa Collett’s National Campaign of Speeches against
the GLBT Community & Same-sex Marriage is by voting
for Jack Shepard only to removing Teresa Collett ASAP.
To guarantee that Teresa Collett’s name is not on the Nov.
2-Ballot! www.jackshepardforcongress.com.

Psychotherapy
DENNIS CHRISTIAN, LICSW. (612) 940-7033.
www.dennischristian.com.
Are you in crisis, feeling depressed or struggling with life?
Do you need to talk to a mental health professional now?
Call Tris Casciaro, MA LPC, 1-866-864-8924. Accepts Visa/
MC/AmEx/Discover.
IRENE GREENE, MSEd, Psychotherapist: 24 years

Real Estate__________ experience. Individual, Couples Counseling, Mediation.

Life changes, relationship, gender, sexuality, parenting,
anger, anxiety, depression. Coming Out, Sexual Abuse,

Classifieds DID Groups. Sliding fee. Professional, nonjudgmental,

confidential. (612) 874-6442. irenegreene@earthlink.net.

Health/Fitness Real Estate

GET REAL FITNESS - Helps you get Rock Hard. Be hot and
buff for summer. Invest in your personalized training routine
today and get the body you deserve. Free consultation:
952-486-3344 or get-real-fitness.com.
501 FIT. Strength with Class. Improve your life. Fun, Effective
and Affordable Strength Training Classes. Try “1” Class for
FREE! 501 Washington Ave. S. 3rd Fl., Minneapolis, MN.
(612) 767-4415. www.501fit.com.

Home Furnishings
FLAMINGOS • An Occasional Sale • Next sale:
Wednesday - Sunday, July 7-11, 10am - 6pm, 3404 Cedar
Ave. Minneapolis, MN (612) 767-4548.
COTTAGE HOUSE • An Occasional Market • Next sale:
FUNKY JUNQUE! • JULY 7, 8, 9, 10, 11. Wed: 1 - 8pm.
Thurs-Fri 10am-7pm, Sat-Sun: 10am - 6pm • 4304 Chicago
Ave. S., Minneapolis, MN.

Home Services
Handyman Services Available for your Summer Projects.
Professional. Insured. Oriel Flores, (612) 385-2102.
La Prep Wallpaper Stripping and Painting, Inc. Women
owned and operated. www.la-prep.com. 952-943-2419,
laprepmn@yahoo.com.

House Cleaning
TERRY LIDDELL, Residential cleaning. Dependable -
June 18-July 1, 2010

Honest. Excellent references. Weekly, bi-weekly, monthly,

flexible schedules. tliddellcleaning@yahoo.com. Call Terry:
(612) 834-4887.
GREEN DARLENE - $40 discount for first time customers.
Eco-green residential cleaning service. Professional
staff-bonded and insured. Budget friendly to bring you
a sparkling clean. Free estimates. (612) 232-6573. www.
greendarlene.com.
Rentals-Residential
5052 Sheridan Ave. S., side-by-side 2 blocks from Lake
Harriet. Large 3 BR, 2 BA. Central air, garage, offstreet
parking. $1130 plus utilities. No pets. Available 8/1. (612)
824-4043.

74
 Real Estate Real Estate Real Estate Rentals-Residential

Old Town in Town Co-op. 1 to 3 bdrms from

$650-$1,225. www.oldtownintown.org (612)
209-2045 Ask about Move In Specials!
CHASKA’S LUXURY COMMUNITY - 1 &
2 Bedroom Homes. Cats & Small Dogs
Welcome, Exceptional Value – Heat Included.
Washer/Dryer in your Home, Spacious Floor
Plans, Garage Available. Call about our
Specials. (952) 448-9201. Warm & Inviting – A
Must See! www.firstselectequities.
Gorgeous high-end side x side duplex, 52nd
and Chicago. Formerly on the Minneapolis
remodeler’s home tour. 3 bedroom with large
2nd floor master suite, 3 custom tile bathrooms,
screen porch, over 1800 finished square feet,
hardwood floors, washer/ dryer, central air. 2
blocks from Minnehaha parkway and trails to
lakes. $1600 + utilities. (612) 325-8843.

Roommates
Classy guy with car to share NewYorky 2 BR, 2
BA apartment in Golden Valley. Huge heated
pool open May 15-Sept. 15th. Under $400.
Underground parking. (763) 544-2783.

Spa Services
THE SPA by PetertGlaser@yahoo.com. 2736
Hennepin, UPTOWN. 612.986.4929 Catering
to the Beauty Rituals for all Men and Women.
Handcrafted Natural Facials. Body and
Brazilian Waxing and Trimming. Manicures.
Rentals-Residential Rentals-Residential Rentals-Residential Pedicures. Massage.

Therapeutic Massage
FULL BODY MASSAGE. Warm relaxing
atmosphere, Minneapolis. Hour Massage
$60.00. Shower Available. (612) 219-6743. 7
days a week, 10 am - 10 pm. Therapist: 5’10,
167#, 32 waist.
GAY FUN SPA !!! Sick of mediocre rubdowns
and boring, uninspired sessions? This time...Get
UNBELIEVABLY PAMPERED and HAVE FUN
!!! This is a totally erotic escape for men looking
for something new and unique. You’ll love it!
Kevin (612) 229-0001 for a full description!
STRONG & RELAXING hands, resulting in
bodywork at its best! Bruck, MT, DC in South
LavenderMagazine.com

Minneapolis @ (612) 306-6323.

FULL BODY DEEP TISSUE MASSAGE. Relax
& Unwind from Head to Toe. Private S. Mpls
Studio. Music, Candles, Jacuzzi, Full Bath. In/
Out Calls. 7 days. 10am - 10pm. (612) 388-
8993. Keith.

75
 Community Connection
Community Connection brings visi-
bility to local GLBT-friendly non-prof-
it organizations. To reserve your list-
ing in Community Connection, call
612-436-4698 or email advertising@
lavendermagazine.com.
Addiction & Treatment
Hazelden
Providing comprehensive treatment,
recovery solutions. Helping people reclaim
their lives from the disease of addiction.
P.O. Box 11
15251 Pleasant Valley Rd Center City, MN
(800) 257-7800 www.hazelden.org
AIDS/HIV & Treatment
Aliveness Project, The
Community Center for Individuals Living
with HIV/AIDS -- On-site Meals, Food
Shelf and Supportive Services.
730 East 38th St. Minneapolis, MN
(612) 824-LIFE (5433) www.aliveness.org
History Theatre
Co-op Living. Literacy Plays and musicals that illuminate the
Old Town in Town Co-op. The Loft Literary Center broad American experience,
1 to 3 bdrms from $650-$1,225. www. Where writers learn from other writers. celebrating local legends, rock
Visit www.loft.org for classes, events, icons, and everyday people.
oldtownintown.org (612) 209-2045 Ask 30 East 10th Street
conferences, and more.
about Move In Specials! 1011 Washington Ave S. Suite 200 St. Paul, MN
Open Book Minneapolis, MN (651) 292-4323
Education (612) 215-2575 www.HistoryTheatre.com
Art Institutes International
Minnesota
www.loft.org
loft@loft.org
Illusion Theater
Helping prepare students for careers in the Nationally Renowned For Developing
visual and practical arts. Artists and New Work While Sparking
15 South 9th Street
Media & Communications Conversation About Challenging
Minneapolis, MN Minnesota Public Radio Human Issues.
(612) 332-3361 Providing in depth news coverage, 528 Hennepin Ave., #704
www.artinstitutes.edu/minneapolis classical music and emerging artists Minneapolis, MN
on our three regional services. (612) 339-4944
Minnesota Online High School (651) 290-1212 www.illusiontheater.org
www.mpr.org
State-approved, public online high school
Jungle Theater
open to any Minnesota resident in grades Professional theater producing
9 through 12. Radio K 770
Radio K is the award-winning student-run contemporary and classic works in an
1313 Fifth St. SE, Ste. 227 intimate setting in the Lynlake neighborhood.
Minneapolis, MN radio station of the University of Minnesota
330 21st Ave. S. 2951 Lyndale Ave. S. Minneapolis, MN
(800) 764-8166 (612) 822-7063
www.mnohs.org 610 Rarig Center
University of Minnesota www.JungleTheater.com

HIM Program Events Minneapolis, MN

(612) 625-3500
Minneapolis Musical Theatre
Minneapolis Bike Tour “Giving Voice to the Human Experience” -
One of the Red Door Services of the www.radiok.org
Annual bike ride in September supporting New and Rarely-Seen Musicals.
Hennepin County Public Health Clinic. Minneapolis Parks. Fully supported route, 8520 W. 29th St.
525 Portland Ave. 4th Floor refreshments and music in finish area. Museum Minneapolis, MN
Minneapolis, MN 2117 West River Rd. Judy Garland Museum (612) 605-3298
(612) 348-9100 Minneapolis, MN Tour Judy’s childhood home, lovingly www.aboutmmt.org
www.himprogram.org (612) 230-6400 restored to its 1925 splendor, adjacent
www.StopSyphilisNOW.org www.minneapolisbiketour.com museum houses GARLANDIA. Minnesota Orchestra
www.CrystalClearMN.org mplsbiketour@minneapolisparks.org 2727 US Highway 169 South Led by Music Director Osmo Vänskä, the
www.inSPOT.org/Minnesota Grand Rapids, MN 55744 Minnesota Orchestra, one of America’s
Red Ribbon Ride Toll Free (800) 664 5839 leading symphony orchestras.
MAP AIDSline Four-day Bike Ride in July Benefiting www.judygarlandmuseum.com 1111 Nicollet Mall Minneapolis, MN
MAP AIDSLine is the confidential Eight HIV/AIDS Service Organizations (612) 371-5656 (800) 292-4141
statewide toll-free HIV information in Minnesota. Walker Art Center www.minnesotaorchestra.org
and referral service. 4457 3rd Ave. S. Minneapolis, MN Internationally recognized as a leading
(612) 822-2110 venue for the presentation of the art of Northrop
1400 Park Ave. Minneapolis, MN Presenting world-class entertainment
(612) 373-AIDS (metro) or www.redribbonride.org our time.
in the heart of the Twin Cities.
(800) 248-AIDS (statewide) 1750 Hennepin Ave. 84 Church St. SE
mapaidsline@mnaidsproject.org Fitness Minneapolis, MN Minneapolis, MN
www.mnaidsproject.org YWCA of Minneapolis (612) 375-7600 Business Office: (612) 625-6600
Healthy Me. Healthy Community. www.walkerart.org Ticket Office: (612) 624-2345
Park House Co-ed, full-service health clubs. northrop.umn.edu
Day Health / Mental Health Treatment Locations in Downtown, Midtown Performing Arts
Program for Adults Living with HIV/AIDS. and Uptown Ballet of the Dolls One Voice Mixed Chorus
710 E. 24th Street, Suite 303 2808 Hennepin Avenue South Resident Company of Newly Renovated Passionate about building community
Minneapolis, MN Ritz Theater. Twin Cities first year-round and creating social change by raising our
Minneapolis, MN
(612) 874-7131 dance-theater program. voices in song.
(612) 871-1264 www.ywcampls.org 732 Holly Ave. Ste. Q Saint Paul, MN
35 13th Ave. NE
www.allina.com/ahs/anw.nsf/page/ (651) 298-1954
Minneapolis, MN
park_house_home Health & Wellness (612) 623-7660 www.ovmc.org operations@ovmc.org
GLBTCALLITQUITS.COM www.ritzdolls.org
U of MN Research Studies If you’re ready to quit smoking, Ordway Center for the Performing
Looking for HIV+ and HIV- individuals we’re here to support you. Flower Shop Project Arts
to participate in research studies. (866) 434-9736 Producing new and local works of theatre Hosting, presenting, and creating
420 Delaware Street SE performing arts and educational
that are smart, ballsy and fundamentally programs that enrich diverse audiences.
Minneapolis, MN Rainbow Health Initiative entertaining.
(612) 625-7472 Working to improve the health of LGBTQ 345 Washington St.
At Bryant-Lake Bowl & Patrick’s Cabaret St. Paul, MN
Minnesotans through education, clinical Minneapolis, MN
Art Galleries practice, outreach, and advocacy. RHI is (651) 224-4222
(612) 388-8628 www.ordway.org
Minneapolis Institute of Arts the lead agency for the MN Tobacco-free www.theflowershopproject.com
Enjoy Masterpieces From All Over The Lavender Communities. Park Square Theatre
World And Every Period Of Human 611-A West Lake Street Guthrie Theater Creating entertainment that matters;
History. Free Admission Daily! Minneapolis, MN Come On In! Performances, Classes, transporting you to unique worlds through
2400 3rd Ave. S. Minneapolis, MN (877) 499-7744 Dining, Tours. exceptional talent and masterful stories.
(612) 870-3000 www.rainbowhealth.org 818 South 2nd St. Minneapolis, MN 20 West Seventh Pl. Saint Paul, MN
www.artsmia.org www.mntlc.org (612) 377-2224 www.guthrietheater.org (651) 291-7005
www.parksquaretheatre.org
Library
June 18-July 1, 2010

Zeitgeist Arts Cafe Hennepin Theatre Trust

Duluth’s newest dining experience Quatrefoil Library Orpheum, State and Pantages Theatres The Minnesota Opera
offering contemporary American dining Your GLBT Library with stacks of DVDs, Twin Cities’ best live entertainment: America’s most exciting opera company
books, and magazines. Broadway shows, music concerts, has launched a new GLBTA group
and full bar in an art-filled setting. “Out at the Opera!”
222 E. Superior St. Check out our online catalogue. comedy, dance and more!
1619 Dayton Ave., No. 105 620 N. First St.
Duluth, MN Minneapolis, MN Minneapolis, MN
St. Paul, MN (612) 673-0404
(218) 722-9100 (651) 641-0969 (612) 342-9550
www.zeitgeistartscafe.com www.HennepinTheatreDistrict.org www.mnopera.org
www.qlibrary.org

76
Backtalk > Lavender Lens [ Photos by Sophia Hantzes ]

SUMMER OF PRIDE KICKOFF PARTY

JUNE 3
GRAVES 601 HOTEL
MINNEAPOLIS

LavenderMagazine.com

77
 Community Connection

Twin Cities Gay Men’s Chorus

An award-winning chorus that builds
Edina Community Lutheran Church
Upbeat, growing congregation committed
University Lutheran Church of Hope
Reconciling Congregation - All Are
Travel
Palm Springs Bureau of Tourism
community through music and offers to inclusion, justice, peace, community and Welcome. Social Justice Opportunities. America's Gay Oasis is Beautiful
entertainment worth coming out for! proclaiming God’s YES to all. Strong University Links - Questioning
4113 W. 54th St. Palm Springs.
528 Hennepin Ave., Suite 307 Encouraged. Great Music. www.palm-springs.org
Minneapolis, MN Edina, MN 601 13th Ave. SE Minneapolis, MN
(612) 339-SONG (7664) (952) 926-3808 (612) 331-5988
www.eclc.org Grand Marais Area Tourism
chorus@tcgmc.org www.ulch.org Association
www.tcgmc.org Visit the North Shore's only harbor
Hennepin Avenue United Westminster Presbyterian Church
Methodist Church village - art, dining, shopping, outdoor
University of Minnesota Theatre A Covenant Network Congregation, activities, the perfect escape.
Take a Spiritual Journey With Hennepin’s Working Toward a Church as Generous
Arts and Dance Faith Community Through Worship, P.O Box 1048
Educating artists and audiences through a diverse and Just as God’s Grace. 13 North Broadway Ave
Education, Fellowship, Service, and More.
mix of performances on both land and water. 511 Groveland Ave. Minneapolis, MN Nicollet Mall at 12th St. Minneapolis, MN Grand Marais, MN
U of M Theatre (612) 871-5303 (612) 332-3421 (888) 922-5000
330 21st Ave S, Minneapolis, MN www.haumc.org www.ewestminster.org (218) 387-2524
(612) 624-2345 www.grandmarais.com
www.theatre.umn.edu Mayflower Community Congre- Retirement
gational United Church of Christ The Kenwood Retirement Visit Minneapolis North Convention
Pets/Pet Services An open and affirming, peace with Community & Visitors Bureau
Animal Humane Society justice church welcomes you. Our full service retirement community We take pride in helping individuals find
Adoption, rescue, outreach, training, 106 E. Diamond Lake Rd. provides Independent, Assisted Living and the ideal location for events & celebrations.
(I-35 & Diamond Lake Rd.) Short Term apartment rentals. 6200 Shingle Creek Parkway, Suite 248,
boarding. Buffalo, Coon Rapids, Golden Minneapolis, MN 825 Summit Avenue, Minneapolis, MN
Valley, St. Paul and Woodbury. Minneapolis, MN
(612) 824-0761 (612) 374-8100 (763) 566-7722 / (800) 541-4364
(763) 432-4527 www.mayflowermpls.org www.thekenwood.net www.visitminneapolisnorth.com
www.animalhumanesociety.org
Mount Olive Lutheran Church Sexual Health Door County Visitor Bureau
Wildcat Sanctuary Ours is a welcoming parish, rich in music, Man2Man
liturgy and opportunities to serve Your Stories. Our Setting. Like Nowhere
A non-profit accredited sanctuary for over Interactive events where guys talk to one Else. Door County, Wisconsin.
100 abandoned and abused bobcats, the community. another about being gay/bi, dating,
3045 Chicago Ave. Minneapolis, MN PO Box 406
tigers, leopards and more. sex, life! Sturgeon Bay, WI 54235
Sandstone, MN (612) 827-5919 Metro (612) 626-7937
www.mountolivechurch.org (800) 52-RELAX (73529)
(320) 245-6871 1-800-552-8636 www.doorcounty.com/info@doorcounty.com
www.wildcatsanctuary.org www.M2M.mn
Plymouth Congregational Church,
Minneapolis Winneshiek County Convention &
Politics & Rights A Beacon of Liberal Theology. Progressive
Family Tree Clinic Visitors Bureau / Discover Decorah
Human Rights Campaign Christianity, Traditional Setting & Service, LGBTQ Health Matters at Family Tree! Refresh, rejuvenate, rekindle....whatever
Advocates for all GLBT Americans, Social Action, The Arts & Music. Offering respectful, affordable sexual R&R you’re up for, the Decorah area is the
mobilizes grassroots action, invests 1900 Nicollet Ave. at Franklin health service to meet your needs. ultimate heaven
strategically to elect fair-minded individuals. Minneapolis, MN 1619 Dayton Avenue 507 West Water Street
P.O. Box 50608 Minneapolis, MN (612) 871-7400 St. Paul, MN Decorah, IA 52101
www.twincities.hrc.org www.hrc.org www.plymouth.org (651) 645-0478 (800) 463-4692
www.familytreeclinic.org www.visitdecorah.com
Minnesota Log Cabin Republicans Spirit of Hope
Promotes legislation to provide basic An Independent Catholic community. Social Organizations Zoos
fairness for gay & lesbian Americans and At our table, all are welcome. Mass at Imperial Court of Minnesota Minnesota Zoo
works to build a more inclusive GOP. 5 PM Saturday evening. Fr. Marty P.O. Box 582417 Open year-round. More than 2,400
115 Hennepin Ave. Shanahan. Worship at: Minneapolis, MN animals to explore.
Minneapolis, MN St. Anne’s Episcopal Church www.impcourtmn.com Numerous special events.
info@mnlogcabin.org 2035 Charlton Rd 13000 Zoo Blvd.
www.mnlogcabin.org
Sunfish Lake, MN Social Justice Apple Valley MN
www.spiritofhopecatholiccommunity.org Community Shares of Minnesota (952) 431-9200
OutFront Minnesota Community Shares of Minnesota www.mnzoo.org
St. Luke Presbyterian Church raises funds and awareness for
Delivering programs / services in the area We’re a joyful, compassionate community
of public policy, anti-violence, education local organizations fighting for justice
on a spiritual journey, seeking justice and and equality.
and training, and law. peace. Join us. 1619 Dayton Avenue, Suite 323
310 E. 38th St., Ste. 204 3121 Groveland School Rd. St.Paul, MN
Minneapolis, MN Wayzata, MN (651) 647-0440
(612) 822-0127 (952) 473-7378 changeisbetter.org
www.outfront.org www.stlukeweb.org
St. Mark’s Episcopal Cathedral Sports & Recreation
Pride Wherever you are on your faith journey... Twin Cities Goodtime Softball
Twin Cities Pride St. Mark’s Welcomes You.
The third-largest national Pride celebration League (TCGSL)
519 Oak Grove St. Minneapolis, MN Join 500 GLBT softball players as we
seeks sponsors, volunteers, and board (612) 870-7800
members. Contact us today. celebrate 32 years of gay softball in
www.ourcathedral.org Minnesota.
2021 East Hennepin Ave, Ste. 460
Minneapolis, MN PO Box 580264
St. Paul-Reformation Lutheran Minneapolis, MN
(612) 305-6900 Church with Wingspan Ministry
www.tcpride.org www.tcgsl.org
+ PASTORAL CARE + EDUCATION +
June 18-July 1, 2010

WITNESS + ADVOCACY + Outreach Student/Campus/Alumni

Religious & Spiritual of St. Paul-Reformation Church to the
Central Lutheran Church Minnesota GLBTA Campus Alliance
GLBTQA Community. A statewide alliance of students, staff, faculty,
We welcome all people to discover,
celebrate and share the love of Christ. 100 N. Oxford St. alumni, and community members uniting for
333 Twelfth St. S. St. Paul, MN campus change.
Minneapolis, MN (651) 224-3371 2136 Ford Parkway #131 St. Paul, MN
(612) 870-4416 www.stpaulref.org (612) 730-8541
www.centralmpls.org www.mncampusalliance.org

78
 LavenderMagazine.com

79
 June 18-July 1, 2010

80
Backtalk > Consider the Source
My Brother the Car
M
y twin brother, Brent, purchased a used truck a
few months back.
Well, it looked like a truck. It turned out to be
a very large, very expensive, very ugly garage knick-
knack. Once a month, he makes his way through the
spider webs, and dusts it with Pledge.
I guess most folks have made stupid
automotive decisions at least once in their
lives. This is of little comfort to Brent—he
has made such decisions four times so far.
It’s like he’s one of those pitiful people on
Wheel of Fortune who buys a vowel when
even Vanna knows the answer.
Brent’s first mistake was the old classic
“Toyota of it’s day,” the Studebaker, which
got 1.2 miles per gallon, but only if he
didn’t use the windshield wipers.
Next came the 1962 Chevy Nova in mus-
tard yellow with red Naugahyde interior.
His little beauty had more screws loose than
a BP oil well, and, as a result, used to discard
vital parts as he drove us to school. The only
good thing about this car was that we could
always find our way back home by the fol-
lowing the trail of engine components.
Previously last, but not least, on Brent’s
list of embarrassing car purchases was the
1973 Pontiac Ventura, nicknamed “The
Slug,” because it was regularly left in the
dust of small children on Big Wheels
The poor guy. It’s really not his fault.
Let’s face it: When it comes to buying a
used vehicle, it really doesn’t matter where
you graduated in your college class, or how
many consumer magazines you’ve read. No,
the best way to learn the skills necessary for
negotiating these transactions is by learn-
ing from other poor suckers like Brent.
Here are some tips:
• Pretend to know more than you do.
This is especially true for men. If there’s
the slightest hint you don’t know your way
around an engine—for example, when the
salesman asks if you want a V-8, you answer
that you’d prefer orange juice—you will
probably be leaving as the proud owner of
the car all the salespeople lovingly refer to
as “The Money Pit.”
• Bring someone with you. It would be
preferable if this person knew a little some-
thing about cars, but anyone will do. My
theory here is strength in numbers. The
more of you there are, the more likely it is
that one of you will ask an intelligent ques-
tion, such as: “Shouldn’t there be a steering
wheel here?”
• Check under the hood. Even if you
have no idea what an engine should look
like, there are certain things even the nov-
ice can spot. You want to avoid purchasing a
vehicle that has no engine, for example. It’s
[ by Julie Dafydd ]
also a good idea to stay away from cars or
trucks that appear to have important stuff
held together with bubble gum, duct tape,
and/or pantyhose—especially fishnet.
• Look under the vehicle. There are many
things you’d prefer not see here. For example,
an oil slick that looks like Alfred Hitchcock.
On the other hand, if you spot tumbleweeds
under the axles, you may want to ask just how
long the car has been on the lot.
• Take the car/truck for a spin. Some
things you just can’t spot unless you actu-
ally go for a drive, such as whether the en-
gine only works with the radio tuned to the
classic rock station.
• If you buy a used car or truck via the
classified ads, you should be wary of certain
types of people:
1. Never purchase a vehicle from any-
one who says he or she has to leave town in
the next few days because of “minor” legal
problems.
2. Avoid people who require payment in
Susan B. Anthony dollars.
3. Never ever buy your used vehicle
from a man named Junior who: lives in a
mobile home; wears an aluminum foil hat;
and stops midsentence to cock an ear to-
ward the sky, and mumble something about
“the mother ship.”
Well, now it’s up to you. But let me give
you one other final piece of advice: When
you need to choose a mechanic for your
newly purchased used car or truck—which
will happen approximately 13.4 minutes af-
ter your check clears—never use one with
a hand-painted sign in his yard that says:
“Bubba’s Lawn Mower Repair, Engine
Overhaul, and General Dentistry.”
Consider the source here, and take it
from one who knows: Bubba doesn’t know
a damned thing about fixing an impacted
LavenderMagazine.com
wisdom tooth.
Tsk. Poor twin brother Brent.
Bye for now.
Kiss, kiss.
81
 Yellow Pages > Advertiser Index
Adult
Hardline Gay Chat ...................... 80
Megaphone .................................. 79
Arts & Entertainment
Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work ...... 45
Margaret Cho............................... 43
Minneapolis Musical Theatre ..... 44
Ordway Center for the
Performing Arts ............................. 40
Automotive
LaMettry’s Collision ..................... 64
Morrie’s Subaru ........................... 35
Bars & Nightlife
Bar Advertiser Guide ................... 48
19 Bar ............................................ 51
Bar Fly ........................................... 53
Bootleggers................................... 55
Brass Rail ....................................... 50
Camp ............................................. 55
Coale’s .......................................... 54
Gay 90’s ...................................... 49
Gladius .......................................... 52
Tickles ............................................ 53
Town House ................................. 53
Beauty & Relaxation
Anew Aesthetic Medical Center . 63
Barbers on Bryant ........................ 70
Garden of Eden ............................ 63
Homme by Maric Group ............. 7
Beverages
Barefoot Wine .............................. 23
Budweiser...................................... 47
Miller Lite....................................... 83
Sorella Wine & Spirits.................. 3
Catering
Mintahoe Catering & Events ....... 9
Coffee & Tea
Coffee and Tea Ltd. ...................... 61
Communications
89.3 The Current .......................... 69
AM950, The Voice of
Minnesota ..................................... 65
Minnesota Public Radio ............... 69
Radio K 770 ................................ 43
Computer & Internet
DeskTech ....................................... 70
June 18-July 1, 2010
82
Dating Services
Simply Introduced ........................ 7
Events
Chicago Pride Fest ....................... 24
GLBT Pride Twin Cities ................. 21
Lavender First Thursdays .............. 45
Lavender’s ThirstDays .................. 50
Summer of Pride .................................... 26, 27, 69
Financial
Bender, Joy ................................... 8
Boyer, Daniel ................................ 70
Harbor Group .............................. 9
ING North America..................... 24
Moltaji, Roya ................................ 11
Palm, Karen ................................... 7
ROR Tax Professionals ................. 70
US Bank ........................................ 29
Floral & Garden
Chenoweth Floral &
Greenhouses ................................. 31
Landscape Junction ...................... 70
Food
Sun Chips ...................................... 59
Vinaigrette ..................................... 7
Funeral Services
Johnson Hannah, Barbara ......... 70
Gifts
Fantasy Gifts ................................. 67
Grocery Stores
Wedge Co-op ............................... 62
Health, Wellness & Recovery
Advanced Foot and Ankle Care . 65
Blue Cross & Blue Shield
of Minnesota ................................. 2
Burns, Steve................................... 73
Changing Pathways ..................... 74
Chase, Lisa .................................... 74
Fleet Naturals ............................... 8, 9
Heffelfinger, Kate ......................... 74
HIM Program ................................ 6, 64
Homecare Assist ........................... 11
Minnesota Department of
Health ............................................ 67
Pride Institute ................................. 45
Rainbow Health Initiative............. 41
Running Tiger Shaolin Kenpo...... 71
Shaklee.......................................... 71
They’ve discovered two of our ancestors in
this big ice cube.
Ils ont découvert deux de nos ancêtres
dans ce gros cube de glace.
University of Minnesota,
Infectious Diseases ....................... 19
Uptown Dermatology &
SkinSpa ......................................... 73
Home Furnishings & Accessories
Moveables Consignment ............. 31
Home Services
4 Quarters Design & Build........... 30
A-Z Electric ................................... 73
Bauer Floor Covering................... 72
Bluestem Construction .................. 72
Boe Plumbing ................................ 30
Good Stuff Moving ...................... 72
Greenway Pavers ......................... 70
Hi-Tech Installations...................... 72
Matts Tree Service........................ 72
Personal Pride Construction......... 72
R. Davis Construction ................... 72
Restoration Professionals ............. 30
Ryan’s Tree Care .......................... 72
Seal King ....................................... 30
Soderlin Plumbing, Heating
& Air Conditioning........................ 72
SOS Homecare ............................ 70
The Tile Shop ................................ 29
Twin City Heating and Air ........... 31
Vujovich ......................................... 35
Insurance
American Family Insurance ......... 44
Baldwin, Davina ........................... 73
Progressive Insurance .................. 5
Wagner InsuranceFinancial
Services ......................................... 73
Wolfson, Steve .............................. 73
Jewelry
Tesa Jewelry .................................. 3
Max’s ............................................ 66
Legal
Cloutier & Brandl .......................... 9
Davis Law Office .......................... 43
Dean, Jeff ...................................... 11
Family Solutions Law Group ....... 21
Heltzer & Burg .............................. 35
Moshier, Becky ............................. 7
Terry & Slane ................................ 3
Malls & Shopping Centers
Mall of America ........................... 84
Mortgage
Lozinski, David .............................. 68
Grunewald, Mark......................... 6
They’re from the Ice Age.
Ils datent de L’Ère de glace.
Optical
Specs Appeal ............................... 69
Organizations
Ameriprise Financial PRIDE ......... 39
Greater Twin Cities United Way . 65
Pet Products & Services
Animal Humane Society ............. 43
Cat Nap Inn .................................. 73
Larpenteur Animal Hospital ......... 31
Pampered Paws Savage .............. 73
Real Estate & Rentals
Calfee, David................................ 74
Farinella, Marilyn ......................... 74
Groff, Wayne................................ 74
Leviton, Ann................................... 74
McGee, Michael .......................... 6
Miller, Valencia............................. 11
Minneapolis Grand Apartments . 29
Prodigy Real Estate ...................... 25
Ruzick, Amy & Johnson, Kay ....... 68
Religious
Edina Community Lutheran
Church ........................................... 66
Restaurants
Cecil’s Deli .................................... 61
Christos .......................................... 61
Dancing Ganesha ........................ 61
French Meadow Bakery & Café 60
Fuji-Ya ............................................ 61
Jakeeno’s Pizza & Pasta .............. 60
KinDee Thai Restaurant................ 62
Roat Osha ..................................... 60
Subo .............................................. 62
Sushi Tango................................... 62
Toast Wine Bar & Cafe ................ 62
Uptown Diner/Calhoun Grill/
Louisiana Café/Grandview Grill 60
Sports & Recreation
Park Tavern Bowling &
Entertainment Center.................... 3
Travel & Accommodations
Graves 601 Hotels ....................... 68
Marriott City Center ..................... 63
It seems they were trying to go into heat.
On dirait qu’ils tentaient de tomber en chaleur.