NURSING ELECTIVE

TOPIC 2: The Parents

1. Duet Task of Parents-to-be: Mothering and Fathering Role
2. Diff erent Parenting Styles
3. Behavioral needs of expectant mothers
4. Selected situational crises aff ecting parental assumption of roles
a. single parents
b. birth of handicapped child
c. separation/divorce
d. migrant/overseas parents
e. working mother/absentee parent
5. Eff ects of a childless marriage
a. artifi cial insemination
b. surrogate mother
c. adoption

SUBMITTED BY: RLE 1 SECTION 6

LOCQUIAO, MARIA CLARISSA O.

LOPEZ, JERLYN MAY L.
LUCAS, MARIZEN D.
MABALOT, PAULA JEREMY D.G.
MACUJA, JC RENZ
MADJID, AYEZA SAPHIA T.
MADJID, DANA T.
MADJID, ZERFA-NISHREEN T.
MAHIMER, INGRID MAHIMER A.
MAMOGAY, MARIA LOURDETTE A.
NURSING ELECTIVE
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TOPIC 2: The Parents
DUET TASK OF
PARENTS-TO-BE
MOTHERING ROLE
In a family, the mother's role has
traditionally been to raise the children and
take care of household chores. However,
the role of mothers in the family home is
constantly changing. Mothers are
increasingly taking on multiple roles, such
as working and looking after young ones
at the same time. The role of a mother in
child development will greatly influence
social, emotional and overall
development. Make sure you take note of
whatever you do, especially in front of
your child. Because mothers give birth to
their children, it only makes sense that
they stay at home and bond with the
newborn, at least during the initial stages.
The wisdom and knowledge that a mother
can impart to her children helps them to
develop into mature young adults. For
single mothers the pressure is even
greater, as parenting responsibilities are
not shared with a partner or husband.
1. The First Bonds of Emotional
Attachment:
- As a mother and the primary
caregiver in your childs earliest days,
weeks and months, you are your childs
first link of any emotional bonding and
attachment. Your baby will learn his first
emotions in relation to you. The way you
bond with your baby in the earliest
months and years will leave a deep impact
on your childs overall well-being and
development. The mother and child
relationship you create with your child
during the earliest years will greatly
influence the way your child behaves in
social and emotional settings, especially in
later years. As a mother, how soon you
react to your childs needs and how you
try to take care of those needs will teach
your child a lot about understanding
others and his emotional requirements.
2. Teaching Trust and Security:
- If you want to know the importance
of mothers in child development, you need
to learn this. Two very important life skills
that your child will learn from you are
learning to trust and providing emotional
security. As a mother, you have the onus
of teaching your child about the
importance of being able to trust and be
trustworthy. If your child can trust you, he
will be confident and emotionally secure.
Be around when your child needs you and
always make sure you support him and
encourage him to do better. Your
encouragement will show your child that
your love for him is a constant, and it will
make him more secure.
3. Be Sensitive:
- As a mother, there will be times
when you feel that nothing is going the
planned way. It is natural to lose your cool
and give up in despair, but wait. Think
from the point of view of your child. Your
child will learn a big lesson in life from you
that of being sensitive towards others
needs and thoughts. As a mother, you
may have a certain way of looking at
things and doing tasks while your child
may have an entirely different view.
Understand your childs perspective too. If
you feel that your child is wrong, try and
explain to him what you feel he can do
differently.
4. Be Kind and Loving:
- The way you behave towards your
child will have a lasting impact on your
childs development throughout his
childhood as well as his adult years.
Always be kind and loving towards your
child, no matter how stressed or angry you
are. Your response to your childs day to
day activities and needs will show him the
importance of being loving towards others.
The way you speak to your child and
others around you will teach your child
about dealing kindly with others.
5. Family Is About Being
Together:
- Your child will very soon learn the
meaning and importance of a family,
especially from you. The way you interact
with other members of your family will
teach your child about many important
relationships in life. Make sure you
introduce your child to different family
members and take him to various family
outings. Make family time a regular affair
at home.
6. Positive Attitude:
Locquiao, Lopez, Lucas, Mabalot, Macuja, Madjid, A.,
Madjid, D., Madjid, N., Mahimer, Mamogay, Manalo
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TOPIC 2: The Parents
- Life is tough, but how you handle
your problems can teach your child about
the importance of positive attitude. Your
response towards various problems,
whether small or big, will show your child
that having a positive attitude can help
overcome many difficulties. Encourage
your child to learn from his mistakes and
to never give up.
7. Hard Work:
- No one can teach your child the
value of hard work as much as you can!
The hard work you do for your childs
development and education is the biggest
example in front of him. Your child may
feel that working hard is something that
makes you tired at the end of the day. But
remind him of the immense pleasure and
satisfaction it gives you to ensure your
childs well-being.
8. Importance of Discipline and
Routine:
- In his earlier years, your child will
be most comfortable while following a set
pattern in his daily life. Show your child
how you can effectively manage time and
commitments by following a routine.
Sources:
http://www.momjunction.com/articles/diffe
rent-ways-in-which-a-mother-can-
influence-child-
development_00353010/#gref
https://www.reference.com/family/responsi
bilities-mother-ae6997cf40a7a8a9#
FATHERING ROLE
One of the most important influences a
father can have on his child is indirect
fathers influence their children in large
part through the quality of their
relationship with the mother of their
children. A father who has a good
relationship with the mother of their
children is more likely to be involved and
to spend time with their children and to
have children who are psychologically and
emotionally healthier. Similarly, a mother
who feels affirmed by her childrens father
and who enjoys the benefits of a happy
relationship is more likely to be a better
mother. Indeed, the quality of the
relationship affects the parenting behavior
of both parents. They are more
responsive, affectionate, and confident
with their infants; more self-controlled in
dealing with defiant toddlers; and better
confidants for teenagers seeking advice
and emotional support.
Fathers who treat the mothers of their
children with respect and deal with conflict
within the relationship in an adult and
appropriate manner are more likely to
have boys who understand how they are
to treat women and who are less likely to
act in an aggressive fashion toward
females. Girls with involved, respectful
fathers see how they should expect men
to treat them and are less likely to become
involved in violent or unhealthy
relationships. In contrast, research has
shown that husbands who display anger,
show contempt for, or who stonewall their
wives are more likely to have children who
are anxious, withdrawn, or antisocial.
From birth, children who have an involved
father are more likely to be emotionally
secure, be confident to explore their
surroundings, and, as they grow older,
have better social connections with peers.
These children also are less likely to get in
trouble at home, school, or in the
neighborhood. Infants who receive high
levels of affection from their fathers (e.g.,
babies whose fathers respond quickly to
their cries and who play together) are
more securely attached; that is, they can
explore their environment comfortably
when a parent is nearby and can readily
accept comfort from their parent after a
brief separation. A number of studies
suggest they also are more sociable and
popular with other children throughout
early childhood.
Children with involved, caring fathers also
have better educational outcomes. A
number of studies suggest that fathers
who are involved, nurturing, and playful
with their infants have children with higher
IQs, as well as better linguistic and
cognitive capacities. Toddlers with
involved fathers go on to start school with
higher levels of academic readiness. They
are more patient and can handle the
stresses and frustrations associated with
schooling more readily than children with
less involved fathers. The influence of a
fathers involvement on academic
achievement extends into adolescence
and young adulthood. Numerous studies
find that an active and nurturing style of
Locquiao, Lopez, Lucas, Mabalot, Macuja, Madjid, A.,
Madjid, D., Madjid, N., Mahimer, Mamogay, Manalo
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fathering is associated with better verbal
skills, intellectual functioning, and
academic achievement among
adolescents
The way fathers play with their children
also has an important impact on a childs
emotional and social development. Fathers
spend a much higher percentage of their
one-on-one interaction with infants and
preschoolers in stimulating, playful activity
than do mothers. From these interactions,
children learn how to regulate their
feelings and behavior. Generally speaking,
fathers also tend to promote
independence and an orientation to the
outside world. Fathers often push
achievement while mothers stress
nurturing, both of which are important to
healthy development. As a result, children
who grow up with involved fathers are
more comfortable exploring the world
around them and more likely to exhibit
self-control and pro-social behavior. In
addition, numerous studies have found
that children who live with their fathers
are more likely to have good physical and
emotional health, to achieve academically,
and to avoid drugs, violence, and
delinquent behavior. In short, fathers have
a powerful and positive impact upon the
development and health of children.
Fathering Roles to be an Effective Parent
Fostering a positive relationship
with the childrens mother
Fathers who can keep calm in the
midst of conflict, who can speak non-
defensively, validate their partners
concerns, and attempt to respond to
legitimate issues raised by their partner
are much more likely to have a strong and
happy relationship with their wife and
children. The virtues that a father displays
in his relationship with the mother of his
children set an important example for the
children. Children who witness
affectionate, respectful, and sacrificial
behavior on the part of their father are
more likely to treat their own, future
spouses in a similar fashion. Couples who
can raise issues with one another
constructively, compromise, and forgive
one another for the wrongs done generally
have happier marriages and happier
children.
Spending time with children
The time a father spends with his
children is important for at least three
reasons. First, spending time together
enables a father to get to know and to be
known by his child. A father can best
discover his childs virtues and vices,
hopes and fears, and aspirations and
ideals by spending lots of time with his
child. Second, a father who spends lots of
time with his child tends to be better at
caring. Time spent together makes a
father more sensitive to his childs needs
for love, attention, direction, and
discipline. And third, children often do see
time as an indicator of a parents love for
them. So fathers should spend
considerable time with their children
playing and having fun. They should
engage in productive activities with their
children and should spend time fostering
their childrens intellectual growth.
Nurturing children
With infants, fathers should be
responsive to their babies cries, hold and
hug them often, and participate in their
basic care (e.g., feeding, changing
diapers). Throughout the rest of early
childhood, fathers should praise their
children when they behave well or
accomplish something, hug and kiss their
children often, and comfort them when
they are sad or scared. Fathers should
continue to praise adolescents, especially
when they achieve significant
accomplishments. One unique way that
fathers nurture their childrenespecially
toddlers and teenagersis by remaining
calm when the child is upset or acting out.
For they exercise a critical role in providing
their children with a mental map of how to
respond to difficult situations. This is why
they have to learn the art of self-control as
they interact with their children so they
will not grow aggressive and will be
positive most of the times.
Disciplining children appropriately
Discipline often is difficult and
frustrating; hence, fathers can make
raising children easier for all in the family
by taking up a substantial share of child
discipline. Fathers must maintain control
of their emotions, their body language,
and their hands when they discipline their
children. Fathers who scream at their
children, who pound tables, or who strike
Locquiao, Lopez, Lucas, Mabalot, Macuja, Madjid, A.,
Madjid, D., Madjid, N., Mahimer, Mamogay, Manalo
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their children are destined to fail as
disciplinarians, both because they are
modeling bad behavior and because they
lose their childrens respect when they let
their emotions take hold of them. Inorder
to properly discipline their children they
should:
1. Set clear rules and enforce them.
Be consistent.
2. Never give in to a tantrum. This will
only teach children that tantrums work,
and will encourage more and louder
tantrums in the future.
3. Keep anger out of discipline. This
also helps the parent refrain from either
inappropriate or excessive discipline.
4. Do not confuse bad behavior with a
bad child. Parents need to verbalize to
children that its the bad behavior they
dont like, not the child.
5. Use time-outs and other
appropriate consequences.
6. Praise good behavior.
7. Combine rules and limit setting
with explanations. Telling children why
rules are what they are, and why they are
being punished helps them learn what is
and is not acceptable behavior.
Serving as a guide to the outside
world
Fathers need to be preparing their
children for the challenges and
opportunities of adulthood by gradually
giving them more opportunities to act
independently and to make good use of
their independence. As children begin
school, fathers can tell their children of
their own experiences in school and
encourage them to study hard, teach
them about money management, or teach
them a sport that will help their children
learn about teamwork. They should also
include their children in some of their work
or community activities so as to give their
teenaged children a taste of their lives
outside the home. They also should talk to
their children about peer pressure and the
dangers of alcohol, drugs, early sexual
activity, and violence. Fathers should
incorporate discussions of their core
beliefs and life experiences into ordinary
conversations with their teens and have
meals with their children on a regular
basis.
Protecting and providing
Historically, fathers were viewed as
chief financial provider for and protector of
their children. As the traditional roles of
mother and father, and likewise man and
wife, have changed over the years, the
distinctions have blurred, especially when
it comes to who is the breadwinner. One
study, however, found that men view
marriage as a partnership of equals,
albeit one in which the man is the partner
ultimately responsible for the provision of
income and the familys protection. The
ability to provide and protect is still, today,
very much tied up with the average mans
sense of self and sense of manhood.
Research consistently shows that fathers
who are employed full-time express more
happiness with family life and has better
relationships with their children, compared
to fathers who are underemployed or
unemployed.
On the other hand, fathers can
protect their children by monitoring their
social environment. Research indicates
that children benefit when their parents
know their friends and the parents of their
friends. Fathers can use this
intergenerational closure, as social
scientists call it, to keep track of their
childrens whereabouts and activities and
to collaborate with other parents in
making sure that their children are
behaving in ways they approve. It is
important that they should pay close
attention to the type of peers with whom
their children are spending time.
Serving as a positive role model
Fathers also exercise a strong
influence on their children through the
type of life they live in and outside the
home. For example, in the wake of child
maltreatment, it is very important that the
father examine what sort of role model he
is presenting to his children. Of course, if
he is the perpetrator of the maltreatment,
the answer is that he is providing a very
poor role model. If the father is not the
perpetrator, it is still very important for
him to look at what kind of role model he
is portraying. Children will look to the
adults in the household for emotional
sustenance, including how to respond and
behave moving forward. It is at such times
of familial stress that the role model
provided by the father is of the utmost
Locquiao, Lopez, Lucas, Mabalot, Macuja, Madjid, A.,
Madjid, D., Madjid, N., Mahimer, Mamogay, Manalo
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importance. Being a role model is not a
simple or easy task. In the way that
fathers treat other people, spend their
time and money, and handle the joys and
stresses of life, they provide a template of
living for their children that often proves
critical in guiding the behavior of their
children, for better or worse. Fathers
treatment of the opposite sex, his ability
to control his own emotions, and his
approach to work all play a formative role
DIFFERENT PARENTING
STYLES
1. Authoritarian Parenting - where
parents establish the rules and expect that
children will follow them without
exception. Failure to follow such rules
usually results in punishment.
Authoritarian parents don't explain the
reasoning behind these rules. If asked to
explain, the parent might simply reply,
"Because I said so." These parents have
high demands but are not responsive to
their children.
2. Authoritative Parenting - Like
authoritarian parents, those with an
authoritative parenting style establish
rules and guidelines that their children are
expected to follow. However, this
parenting style is much more democratic.
Authoritative parents are responsive to
their children and willing to listen to
questions. When children fail to meet the
expectations, these parents are more
nurturing and forgiving rather than
punishing
3. Permissive Parenting - They are also
called indulgent parents. They are lenient
and often avoiding confrontation.
According to Baumrind these parents tend
to be more responsive than demanding.
They are generally nurturing and
communicative with their children opting
to be a friend than a parent. children with
permissive parents tend to exhibit
behavioral problems as they are more
likely not appreciate authority and rules
and they tend to struggle academically.
Children often have low self-esteem, little
in shaping his sons and daughters
approach to romantic relationships and
marriage, interpersonal relationships, and
school and work
Source:
https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubPDFs/fath
erhood.pdf
self-discipline and self-control, and report
a lot of sadness.
4. Neglectful/Uninvolved Parenting -
Parents who are neglectful is
characterized by few
demands, low responsiveness and little
communication. there are no rules or
expectations and if there are it is relatively
few. Parents fulfill basic needs but they
are generally detached from their child's
life. sometimes neglectful parents are due
to apparent mental health issues or
substance abuse or they may lack
knowledge about
parenting. Children tend to lack self-
esteem and perform poorly academically.
they exhibit behavioral problems and rank
low in happiness. Children often have no
trust foundation from these parents thus
they have a harder time forming
relationship or bonds with other people,
especially children their age.
BEHAVIORAL NEEDS
OF EXPECTANT
MOTHERS
Rubin (1984) identified four major tasks
that the pregnant woman undertakes to
maintain her intactness and that of her
family and to incorporate her new child
into the family system. These tasks form
the foundation for a mutually gratifying
relationship with her infant:
1. Ensuring safe passage through
pregnancy, labor, and birth. The
pregnant woman feels concern for
both her unborn child and herself.
Locquiao, Lopez, Lucas, Mabalot, Macuja, Madjid, A.,
Madjid, D., Madjid, N., Mahimer, Mamogay, Manalo
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She looks for competent maternity
care to provide a sense of control.
She may seek information from
literature, observation of other
pregnant women and new mothers,
and discussion with others. She
often engages in self-care activities
related to diet, exercise, alcohol
consumption, and so forth. In the
third trimester, she becomes more
aware of external threats in the
environment a toy on the stairs,
the awkwardness of an escalator
that pose a threat to her well-
being. Sleep becomes more
difficult and she longs for birth
even though it, too, is frightening.
2. Seeking acceptance of this
child from others. The birth of a
child alters a womans primary
support group (her family) and her
secondary affiliative groups. The
woman slowly and subtly alters her
network to meet the needs of her
pregnancy. In this adjustment the
womans partner is the most
important figure. The partners
support and acceptance help form
a maternal identity. If there are
other children in the home, the
mother also works to ensure their
acceptance of the coming child.
The woman without a partner looks
to others such as a family member
or friend for this support.
3. Seeking commitment and
acceptance of herself as
mother to the infant (binding-
in). During the first trimester, the
child remains a rather abstract
concept. With quickening, however,
the child begins to become a real
person, and the mother begins to
develop bonds of attachment. The
mother experiences movement of
the child within her in an intimate,
exclusive way, and bonds of love
form. The mother develops a
fantasy image of her ideal child.
This binding-in process,
characterized by its strong
emotional component, motivates
the pregnant woman to become
competent in her role and provides
satisfaction for her in the role of
mother.
4. Learning to give of oneself on
behalf of ones child. Childbirth
involves many acts of giving. The
man gives a child to the woman;
she in turn gives a child to him.
Life is given to an infant; a sibling
is given to older children of the
family. The woman begins to
develop a capacity for self-denial
and learns to delay immediate
personal gratification to meet the
needs of another. Baby showers
and gifts are acts of giving that
increase the mothers self-esteem
and help her recognize the
separateness and needs of the
coming baby.
SINGLE PARENTS
Single-parent families can be defined as
families where a parent lives with
dependent children, either alone or in a
larger household, without a spouse or
partner.
Mother-Only and Father-Only Families
Single-parent families are generally
categorized by the sex of the custodial
parent (mother-only or father-only
families). Mother-only families include
widows, divorced and separated women,
and never-married mothers.
Challenges of Single-Parenting
Parenthood is challenging under the best
of conditions. With one parent, the
challenges are multiplied. Coping with
childrearing for single parents becomes
Locquiao, Lopez, Lucas, Mabalot, Macuja, Madjid, A.,
Madjid, D., Madjid, N., Mahimer, Mamogay, Manalo
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more difficult because of responsibility
overload, when one parent makes all the
decisions and provides for all of the family
needs; task over-load, when the demands
for work, housework, and parenting can be
overwhelming for one person; and
emotional overload, when the single
parent must always be available to meet
both their own and their children's
emotional needs. Alone or in combination
these result in problems for the single
parent, including loneliness, anxiety, and
depression.
Support from friends and relatives can
offset the effects of overload, with friends
offering a buffer against loneliness and
relatives giving more practical help
(Gladow and Ray 1986). One difficulty is
asking for help in a society that defines
the family as an autonomous unit
responsible for its own circumstances and
well-being. However, few single parents
can successfully raise children alone,
despite the social expectation that
noncustodial parents (usually the father)
should only be responsible for
supplemental financial support, while the
custodial parent (usually the mother)
takes on both parenting and economic
roles (Goldscheider and Waite 1991).
Some suggest that the ideal of an
independent family head represents a
Eurocentric view which is challenged by an
African-American model of motherhood
(Hill Collins 1994). In this model the
importance of caring for and supporting
children in the context of community
development and social activism is
emphasized. Children are cared for and
raised by their own mothers
(bloodmothers), other women in the
community (othermothers), and relatives.
African-American children are more likely
to live with a grandmother than are white
and Hispanic children.
Source:
http://family.jrank.org/pages/1575/Single-
Parent-Families-Mother-Only-Father-Only-
Families.html
The Effects of single-parent home on
a childs behavior
Academic Achievement
Most single-parent households are run by
mothers, and the absence of a father --
coupled with lower household income --
can increase the risk of children
performing poorly in school. The lack of
financial support from a father often
results in single mothers working more,
which can in turn affect children because
they receive less attention and guidance
with their homework.
Emotional Effect
Having only one income earner in the
home puts single parent households at
risk for poverty, finds research compiled
by the University of Washington's West
Coast Poverty Center. Living in poverty is
stressful and can have many emotional
effects on children, including low self-
esteem, increased anger and frustration
and an increased risk for violent behavior.
Besides financial constraints, other
emotional effects of growing up in a single
parent household may include feelings of
abandonment, sadness, loneliness and
difficulty socializing and connecting with
others.
Positive Effect
Single parenting can have positive effects
on children as well, depending on other
factors such as personality types and
parenting techniques. According to a study
at Cornell University, positive single
parenting did not show any negative
impact on the social and educational
development of the 12- and 13-year-olds
participating in the study. In addition,
children in single-parent families may
exhibit strong responsibility skills, as they
are often called upon to help out more
with family chores and tasks. Children in
Locquiao, Lopez, Lucas, Mabalot, Macuja, Madjid, A.,
Madjid, D., Madjid, N., Mahimer, Mamogay, Manalo
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single-parent families often form close
bonds with their parent, as they are
closely dependent on each other
throughout the childs life. Children from
single-parent families may also form
closer bonds with extended family
members or family friends, as these
people often help raise them.
Source:
http://www.livestrong.com/article/83670-
effects-single-parent-home-childs/
BIRTH OF
HANDICAPPED CHILD
Parents and family need to fulfill certain
responsibilities in order to function. A
family must generate income, protect and
maintain its members and home, nurture
and love one another and see to it that
children are taught social norms and
educated. When a child is handicapped,
these responsibilities become more
crucial. There is the expense, the time, the
energy needed to care for the disabled
member and his safety. Besides this there
is the difficulty of helping the disabled
member develop a good self-image and
social skills, and the problems of seeing to
it that the disabled member receives an
appropriate education. Every ordinary task
becomes more difficult and more stressful.
As per the Eugenics Movement
(1880-1930) assumed parents to be the
underlying source of the child's physical,
emotional or intellectual disability. A
primary goal of this movement was to
remove human flaws by regulating human
reproduction. Towards the end of the 19th
century, through research it was found
that some disabilities/conditions are
genetically passed on to the child by the
parents. But, predicting before pregnancy
whether or not a parent will pass on to the
child some genetically linked disability is
often difficult, if not impossible.
However, in the vast majority of
children with disabilities, no genetic cause
can be identified. Yet, blaming the parents
when children are born with these
conditions seldom leads to productive
parent professional interactions.
Sometimes, tracing the cause of disability
to some factor related to the parents may
prove helpful towards diagnosis and
prevention of similar cases in future.
Parent's reaction to the birth of a
child with disabilities varies widely. While
somewhat speculative, 3 to 7 emotional
stages of parents are usually identified.
They are as:
a) feelings of shock and
disbelief
b) denial
c) anger and guilt or
depression
d) a shift from self-absorption
to concentrating on now to
deal with the child's needs
With the above in view parents of
the disabled take on multiple roles, which
are not separate and distinct from one
another, nor do they fall into distinct
chronological periods. Rather, they often
overlap and share common elements.
Reference:
http://ayjnihh.nic.in/awareness/parentsgui
de2.asp
SEPARATION or
DIVORCE
Marriages that end in divorce typically
begin a process of unraveling,
estrangement, or an emotional separation
year before the actual legal divorce is
obtained. During the course of the
marriage, one or both of the marital
partners begins to feel alienated from the
other. Conflicts with each other and with
the children intensify, become more
frequent, and often go unresolved.
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Feelings of bitterness, helplessness, and
anger escalate as the spouses weigh the
costs and benefits of continuing the
marriage versus separating. Gay C.
Kitson's (1992) influential study of marital
breakdown describes a distressing process
characterized by emotional distance,
dissatisfaction, and frequent thoughts and
discussions about whether and how to
separate. Many unhappy couples explore
marital counseling, extramarital
relationships, and trial separations, with
marital happiness fluctuating upward and
downward from day to day and year to
year as the marital relationship and
marital roles are renegotiated.
Divorce changes in the family often
negatively influence the psychological
states of parents; parental stress, anxiety,
and depression, in turn, inhibit effective
parenting.
Intervention: The way to allay negative
feelings related to divorce, then, would be
to counsel children regarding the
normative process of divorce, to let them
know that they are not alone as children of
divorce, and to educate them regarding
the healthy functioning of many divorced
families. Also through social service
personnel and officials of the courts could
be trained to be supportive of divorcing
parents and their children as a means to
strengthen family relationships and reduce
feelings of stigma.
Source:
http://family.jrank.org/pages/413/Divorce.h
tml
MIGRANT / OVERSEAS
PARENTS
People have been on the move
since human life began. Migration is
neither a new phenomenon, a failure of
development, nor a substitute for
development. Individuals move as part of
their effort to improve their lives and the
lives of their families, to learn new skills,
to gain new experiences, to find a job or to
flee insecurity, disaster or famine.
Migration is an economic, social
and political process that affects those
who move, those who stay behind, and
the places where they go. And with the
advent of globalization, labor migration
has become a worldwide phenomenon.
People are crossing borders to search for
better job opportunities and to provide a
better future for their families. Along this
development is the plight of more children
being left behind by either one or both
parents, leaving them to the care of
extended family members or friends.
The impact of migration varies -
ranging from economic benefits not only
for the family
but the country in generally through its
remittances to the security and well-being
of the family of migrants. But a major
concern here is the social costs of
migration specifically to the children left
behind.
Parental absence creates
displacement, disruptions and changes in
care giving arrangement. There is always
an emotional aspect that goes along with
parents leaving their children, especially
for long periods of time. Nevertheless, it is
also a relief to have the extended family
looking after the children left-behind.
However, it cannot negate the fact that
the children are longing for the love and
care of their biological parents.
General Impact on Children
Children have a different level of
acceptance or tolerance of the situation
depending on their cognitive
development. For young children, they
only see migration as a form of
abandonment of their parents; while
adolescents may either be receptive or
resentful. Related articles on children left
behind also focus on the effects of
mothers absence to children, where
children have varied reactions to
migration situation depending on the age
of the child i.e. for pre-school children (0-
5 years old), the absence of mothers is
somewhat easily accepted since no
bonding has yet been established but the
adjustment for those children ages 6-16
years of age is more difficult because they
had already known and established
affection with their mothers.
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material benefits but the
Global Parenting painful one is they cannot
It was highly recognized that the hide their sadness.
transmission of values, including spiritual o The parents long period of
formation, from one generation to the next absence gives an OFWs
is one of the major responsibilities vested child a feeling of
in the family. But the 2003 study found permanence of absence,
that migration of parents did not matter in very similar to those
the formation of important values and experience by orphans and
spirituality since this is also passed on abandoned children. Most of
from parents or caregivers. At the same them have not really gotten
time, through the help of advance to know their parents well
technology, a different level of intimacy because they have not lived
which also strengthens the linkage and with them for years.
nurturing bonding is being established Children can only associate
among migrant families. This is what their parents with the
Tanalega (2002) is also talking about money, gifts and phone
(Global Parenting) wherein parenting calls (Atikha and
becomes a long distance love affair Balikbayani: 2002).
synchronized with the fast paced Burden of girl children in
development of technology. The absence performing the caring work
of the parents is substituted through the o Many young adults who
different technological mechanisms have migrated mothers felt
(cellphones, emails, videocams) to make neglected or abandoned.
their presence felt by their children even if They do not see their
they are thousand miles away. fathers as performing the
Unfortunately, this techy parenting will caring work in the family,
still not replace the emotional bonding rather they pass over the
that can develop in the relationship when caring responsibilities to
they are physically present. At the same other women in the family,
time, they will miss the growing up years more often to the eldest
of their children and their value formation. daughter. This immense
responsibility in turn affects
Effects on Children their performance in school.
Longing for parental care (Parrenas: 2006). As noted
o Though family separation in another study, when
may not necessarily lead to mother migrates, the father
extreme cases of emotional does not automatically
disturbance and assume the roles previously
delinquency among children undertaken by women,
(Scalabrini:2004 and hence, it becomes a burden
Asis:2000), children have to the girls in the family who
different levels of assume the roles of the
acceptance and tolerance of mother migrants. (Asis:
the migration depending on 2000).
their cognitive Confusion over gender boundaries
development. For young and reversal of gender roles
children, they see this as an o It is unfortunate that gender
abandonment and not boundaries are very much
seeing the other side of the keen on childrens views on
picture; it could however parental migration,
have either a positive or children of migrant fathers
negative effect for the are more likely to say that
adolescents somewhat their father left the
happy because of the Philippines to provide for

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the family, whereas children
of migrant mothers more
commonly claim that their
mothers left to escape
poverty. (Parrenas:2006).
This study of Parrenas
further shows how the
society views the
dysfunctional transnational
families by blaming the
migrant womens
disruptions of the gender
conventions where there is
also a greater demand for
childrens care expectations
from women than from men.
And when the father is the
one left at home, there is an
impact to children of the
reversal of roles of fathers
from being a main provider
to that of a nurturer.
(Pingol:2001). There is also
confusion and resentment
of children over the
transformation of traditional
gender roles especially
where most fathers refuse
to perform nurturing roles
even in the absence of the
mothers. (Yeoh and Lim: nd)
Developing a consumerist attitude
o Most children accept the
migration of their parents as
an opportunity to have a
better life, they only see the
money equivalent of
migration. As long as they
receive their money
regularly, they will be fine.
This also leads to a Negative effects that going to work abroad
materialistic attitude of
children of migrants
Vulnerability to abuses
o Vulnerability of children to
abuse and violence is one of
the worrying aspects of
parental absence. Study
shows that among the
common form of abuse are
verbal, intimidating and
hurting children. And among
children of migrants, it is
the male children who
reported experiencing more
abuse than female children.
Gender differences were
largest for such abuses as
being belittled and being
hurt. The feeling of being
abandoned was rather
pronounced among the
children of migrant mothers
(boys and girls alike).
Reference:
https://www.unicef.org/philippines/Synthes
is_StudyJuly12008.pdf
WORKING ABROAD
Parents who work overseas assume that
their kids understand fully why they have
to leavethat it is for the childrens good
and their future.
Many parents leave when their kids are
young. The children do not even know
where in the world their mothers or
fathers are.
Children of OFWs believe their parents are
working abroad to give them better food,
better education and better home. The
eldest child then assumes the role of a
parent.Many OFW parents think material
things can compensate for their absence
but, when asked, the children would
probably say, Sana hindi na lang ninyo
kami iniwan, sana hindi na lang kayo nag-
abroad. (We wish you never left us to work
abroad).
has on children identified both from
specialized consular doctrinal elements,
national statistics and own research and
reports by other institutions and large
stakeholders are:
1. The emergence and development of the
phenomenon of child abuse
2. Neglect
3. Legal effects on the infringement of
fundamental rights of the child
4. Psychological Effects
Pain, anxiety, depression
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Loneliness of children and the effects
of separation from parents (maternal
and paternal deprivation)
Suicide
5. Social effects
Deviance
Absence from school
Juvenile delinquency
Parents going to work abroad and leaving
children in the country may take the form
of child abuse, depending on the situation.
What a parent cant do?
Make sure your children know they
are loved. Be Truthful. Share
Feelings.
Explore Destinations. Using a map or
globe, show your child where your
husband or wife is going and chart the
route. Using books or encyclopedias,
explore weather conditions, cultural
norms, or attractions in that part of the
world. Keep in constant touch. Thanks to
new communications technology,
videophones can help erase the distance
between the absent parent and the
children. Scheduling a regular day for
talking with one another will help your
children forget the separation.
Keep in constant touch. Thanks to
new communications technology,
videophones can help erase the distance
between the absent parent and the
children. Scheduling a regular day for
talking with one another will help your
children forget the separation.
http://www.asianhospital.com/health-
digest/separation-anxiety-disorder-the-s-a-
d-case-of-children-with-parents-working-
abroad/
http://www.asianhospital.com/health-
digest/separation-anxiety-disorder-the-s-a-
d-case-of-children-with-parents-working-
abroad/
http://www.asianhospital.com/health-
digest/separation-anxiety-disorder-the-s-a-
d-case-of-children-with-parents-working-
abroad/
http://www.asianhospital.com/health-
digest/separation-anxiety-disorder-the-s-a-
d-case-of-children-with-parents-working-
abroad/
EFFECTS OF
CHILDLESS MARRIAGE
1. ARTIFICIAL INSEMINATION
It is one of many fertility options available
to women who are either having trouble
conceiving naturally with their partner or
who want to have a child without a male
partner. A doctor inserts sperm directly
into a woman's cervix, fallopian tubes, or
uterus.
EFFECTS:
On the Child
The majority of children conceived by
gamete donation grow up unaware that
they lack a genetic relationship with one
or both parents. The early studies found
no evidence of emotional or behavioral
problems. Although one study reported a
higher incidence of psychological
problems among donor insemination
children than among naturally conceived
children, controlled studies that used
standardized measures found donor
insemination children to be functioning
well.
On Family:
The use of a donor introduces new genetic
material into a family, which is foreign to
the couple. There is a great chance that, in
a sperm bank, the same material will be
used for multiple inseminations; therefore,
those children will be half-brothers.
Furthermore, there may be consequences
of consanguineous marriages of half-
brothers that are unaware of their own
condition. It is a new type of family, a
"pluriparental" one, comprised of
biological mother, legal father, sperm
donor (biological father) and child.
On the Society
Catholic Church's views:
The church considers IVF and artificial
insemination morally unacceptable for at
least three fundamental reasons. First,
from the time the ovum is fertilized, a
separate human life has begun that has its
own identity and dignity. Commercial,
scientific and other procedures violate the
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respect and physical and spiritual
reverence owed to these lives. Second, IVF
procedures particularly involve producing
a number of zygotes (fertilized ova). Some
or all are usually placed in a womb; all but
one or a few of them usually die one way
or another. At the very least it wrongly
places new human life in high risk of
death. And third, this process of initiating
new human life is a subversion of the
dignity and unity of marriage and of the
integrity of natural and necessary parental
relationships with children as they come
into the world.
2. SURROGATE MOTHER
Surrogacy is an arrangement or
agreement whereby a woman agrees to
carry a pregnancy for another person or
persons, who will become the newborn
child's parent(s) after birth. Intended
parents may seek a surrogacy
arrangement when either pregnancy is
medically impossible, pregnancy risks
present an unacceptable danger to the
mother's health or is a same sex couple's
preferred method of having children.
EFFECTS:
On the Surrogate Mother:
A study by the Family and Child
Psychology Research Centre concluded
that surrogate mothers rarely had
difficulty relinquishing rights to a or may feel less confident as parents.
surrogate child. Studies have shown that
surrogates engage in various distancing
techniques throughout the surrogate
pregnancy so as to ensure that they do
not become emotionally attached to the
child. Some women have psychological
reactions when being surrogate mothers.
It includes depression when surrendering
the child, grief, and even refusal to release
the child. A study from the Centre for
Family Research at the University of
Cambridge found that surrogacy does not
have a negative impact on the surrogate's
own children.
On the Child:
Some research would conclude that
surrogate-born children are more likely to
suffer depression than those carried by
their real mother and that children
struggle to cope with the idea that they
were carried by a woman other than their
mother. But some more research found
out that these children seemed to be
doing well and that the primary concern is
that trouble could crop up later as they hit
their adolescence as they try to find their
identities.
On the Intended Parents:
Intended parents live through the 9
months of pregnancy with the uncertainty
of whether or not the surrogate mother
will relinquish the child. Furthermore, as
the intended mother is not, herself,
pregnant, prenatal bonding with the child
may be absent or diminished. From the
perspective of the intended mother, who
is unable herself to give birth, the
relationship with the fertile surrogate
mother may result in feelings of
inadequacy, depression and low self-
esteem. Because of the great deal of
prejudice against the practice of
surrogacy, intended parents may
experience disapproval from family,
friends and their wider social world. The
need to resort to surrogacy may interfere
with the intended parents quality of
parenting. Couples whose children are
born through surrogacy may view the
process as an inferior route to parenthood
On Family:
Findings from the few studies of surrogacy
that currently exist indicate that families
formed in this way are generally
functioning well, suggesting that the
absence of a gestational link between the
parents and the child does not jeopardize
the development of positive family
relationships or positive child adjustment.
3. ADOPTION
It is a process whereby a person assumes
the parenting of another, usually a child,
from that person's biological or legal
parent or parents, and, in so doing,
permanently transfers all rights and
responsibilities from the biological parent
or parents.
EFFECTS:
On the Adopted Person
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The loss of birth parents as a result of
adoption may set the stage for feelings of
grief. They may have difficulty finding an
outlet because their grief may not be
recognized by others. Feelings of loss and
grief, as well as anger, anxiety, or fear,
may especially occur during emotionally
charged milestones, such as marriage, the
birth of a child, or the death of a parent. A
number of studies have found that
adopted person scores lower on measures
of self-esteem and self-confidence. This
result may reflect the fact that some
adopted persons may view themselves as
different, out-of-place, unwelcome, or
rejected. In late adolescence, negative
feelings and questions about being
adopted increased. In young adulthood,
plans for marriage may create an urgent
desire for specific background information,
particularly about family history. For
adopted adult women, pregnancy and the
birth of a child may raise fears of possible
unknown hereditary problems. Becoming a
parent may also trigger intense feelings in
the adoptee toward his or her own
birthmother. These feelings may include
not only empathy for her difficult
emotional situation, but also anger and
disbelief that she could have given up her
own child.
On the Birth-parents:
Relinquishment of a newborn child may be
damaging to birthparents and cause
lifelong pain and suffering. Birth-parents
suffer from a heightened sense of
worthlessness after giving away a child.
They may feel guilty about their actions.
These birthparents may believe that their
offspring will not understand the reasons
for relinquishment and that these offspring
will blame and hate their birthparents for
rejecting and abandoning them. They may
feel powerless. They have no knowledge
of what is happening to their child and no
opportunity to let the adoptive family
know of significant events in their own
lives.
On the Adoptive Parents:
For many adoptive parents, this change in
identity means the realization of the long-
awaited role of mom or dad. The
realities of parenthood, including lack of
sleep (for parents of infants or children
with behavioral or sleep issues) and the
weight of parental responsibilities can be
overwhelming. Parents may have difficulty
attaching to the new child and may
question their parenting capabilities.
REFERENCES:
http://www.scielo.br/scielo.php?
script=sci_arttext&pid=S1678-
91992011000400002
http://www.webmd.com/infertility-and-
reproduction/guide/artificial-
insemination#1
http://www.child-
encyclopedia.com/sites/default/files/textes
-experts/en/887/reproductive-technology-
and-its-impact-on-child-psychosocial-and-
emotional-development.pdf
http://catholiccourier.com/commentary/oth
er-columnists/what-does-church-say-
about-artificial-insemination/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Surrogacy
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-
2344362/Surrogate-born-children-likely-
suffer-depression-carried-real-mother.html
http://www.today.com/health/new-study-
tracks-emotional-health-surrogate-kids-
6C10366818
https://thepsychologist.bps.org.uk/surroga
cy-families
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adoption
https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubpdfs/f_adi
mpact.pdf
http://futureofchildren.org/publications/jou
rnals/article/index.xml?
journalid=66&articleid=458&sectionid=31
45
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